This past Saturday, Nicole and Matt and I spent a lovely afternoon in Salt Lake City visiting the North Visitor’s Center at Temple Square (where there is a statue of Jesus in a room painted like a black-light poster version of outer space that is the coolest, trippiest thing), and shopping at the nicest mall I have ever seen in my life. As we were walking through the Roberto Cavalli section, I realized that, even if I became a millionaire, it would likely never dawn on me to begin shopping in that section. I think of this often enough in New York, too, walking through SoHo and seeing people just pop into the Prada store. I just cannot imagine needing new clothes and going to a designer store like that first.
There are certainly things about my life I would change if I came into a lot more money. I would stop shopping at H&M and buy a lot more free-range eggs and quality meat. I like to think I’d give more to charity, and I probably would, but I’d also stay at nicer hotels when I traveled and not fret so much about how much I already spend on good hair conditioner. I would get so many massages and full body scrubs. Every single day I’d have a new layer of skin.
But there are also things I can’t see myself doing, no matter how much money I had, like owning more than one home, getting really into purses, or going to Disney World. Tell me, what about your life think would remain unchanged with endless funds? What wouldn’t you buy?
I wouldn’t buy endless purses or shoes etc. Or hundreds of horses, which always surprises people – I have enough of them! I also wouldn’t buy a house with land to keep them at home.
Yeah the idea that people who love horses automatically want like 50 of them is so silly! Yes, I love horses, so I want to spend time riding/cuddling them, not mucking out stalls forever and ever.
Or the endless fence mending. Just when you think you are done with it one of your big furry idiots decides to use the weak part of the fence as a scratching post.
I would totally pay to keep my horses at a barn with blanket service and a climate controlled arena.
Keeping horses at home is the biggest trap of all time. We were like “OH IT’LL BE GREAT” (and it totally was, in that I didn’t have to deal with stalls because they all just had a huge field to hang out in) but then I got older and it was My Job to get up at 5am EVERY DAY NO MATTER WHAT and feed them and it was My Job to be around at 7pm EVERY DAY NO MATTER WHAT to feed them and basically working for someone who kept horses in her back yard ruined my social life all through high school.*
I often joke that I am the laziest horse owner in Christendom, but it’s not really a joke. I worked with them for long enough and looked after 70 of them belonging to other people that now I *really* appreciate not having to go every day and knowing they are looked after (because they live at the place I used to work and I trained all the staff!). I love my ponies and wouldn’t be without them for the world but I don’t want to look after them every day of their lives, take time off for farrier, vet, etc, do my own land management, worry about storing hay, etc etc etc.
So my house-with-land money would go on refurbing the yard and letting them do all the stuff they have to save up for and do a bit at a time, instead.
I don’t think I’d stop working entirely.
I wouldn’t stop fucking about on the internet, either.
same. I like my work! And my internet!
Fucking about on the internet 4 lyfe!
Hell, not only would there be more fucking about, there would be frequent heavy Toast tipping.
Frequent Heavy Toast Tripping is Titviolence’s first album
I feel like I would volunteer, rather than work, if I were mega-rich? (Like, rich enough that friends and hypothetical grand/children are all provided for.) Idk, part of me would feel weird collecting pay when someone else needs that paycheck way more than I do.
I’d definitely stop working at this job, but if I had my ideal job, then I think I wouldn’t. But then I remember that even my ideal job had, “Oh for fuck’s sake” days, so maybe I’d just walk out on one of those, and then regret it?
Shit, I’d probably keep working 12 hour days, once and a while.
I would never get into luxury cars. I think if I were a kablillionaire, I would still just want a teal Prius.
Ooh, good one! Yeah, I’d still want a small, reliable and economical car.
Same! I’d totally drive a Subaru Outback or something. So much more practical than a delicate little sportscar. And I can open the back for a large muddy dog and not worry about mud all over my free-range, bottle fed, imported yak leather seats.
Subaru 5eva.
No fancy cars here either. But I might buy a smol car, like a Mini or a Prius, for decent weather and an appropriate car for Winter.
I _like_ little cars. I don’t think luxury cars come in little.
Luxury cars scare me and I feel like they’re all so low to the ground I don’t understand how they don’t make that terrible scraping noise when they drive out of steep driveways, but I would totally get a car that can parallel park itself. Or just park itself (do those exist?). I hate parking so much.
They are starting to exist! Lots of autonomous driving and parking tech being tested ATM.
Although I have thought occasionally about hiring people in v. pretty classic muscle cars to drive near me as I go about my errands. My favorite part about old muscle cars is looking at them, and you can’t do that from inside.
My perennially-in-need-of-cash cousin who also happens to be a muscle car collector (which, come to think, is probably why he is always in need of money) would be your best patron (customer? something).
If he still had his lemon-yellow 1920s roadster, I’d hire him to drive near me all the time. And chauffeur me places.
Same! My deep desire for a Fiat 500 would not be quenched by having the ability to buy 50 of them.
Yes! I think I’d still buy a nice, reliable pre-owned car. It probably wouldn’t be the most tricked-out version, either. (But seat warmers would be nice.)
I’d never get into luxury cars either but I’m not a big fan of driving so I’d probably buy a practical car then hire a full time driver.
Same! I mean, not a teal Prius specifically, for me, but I’d just want something reliable, smallish, and inconspicuous.
I like looking at hot sports cars but actually driving one would make me feel like everyone was looking at me.
I used to think this, and then I saw a guy put an entire full size white board in his Tesla (the back opens like a hatchback and the seats lay flat). Apparently I’m easily seduced by fancy sports cars that can also carry full sheets of plywood.
Same. I have a Prius now and I LURVE it to death. If I became a bajillionare, I wouldn’t buy a new car right away, and if I did, it would be something like a Tesla, but one of their smaller more normal not-roadster types.
I might drop some serious cash having my car detailed; I can’t get the dog hair out of the back seats with a regular vacuum but I can’t justify spending over $200 to ‘clean’ out an otherwise decently clean car -_-;
No amount of money would change my husband’s commitment to couponing. Goddamn, but that man loves a discount. He goes out to fetch the Sunday paper with the glee of a small child on Christmas.
By Grabthar’s Hammer…what a savings.
Yeah, fashion and beauty is not stuff I spend a lot of money on right now, but it’s not because I can’t. It just doesn’t excite me. I also don’t collect anything, and would likely not start a collection of anything just because I have lots of money.
Also, homes/places to stay that are overly fancy and garish don’t quite appeal to me either. I’d not think twice about how much that new couch is going to cost, but it wouldn’t be a Versailles replica either.
That’s pretty much how I feel. I wouldn’t go to luxury fashion outlets (but I WOULD buy all the binders and guy-briefs I damn wanted), but maybe stop having to buy everything at Goodwill.
What I would never ever ever do is buy a house 2.5 times larger than I needed. I somehow have come to know several people who own houses with like four rooms to a person, and it weirds me out to be in that much space. I cannot IMAGINE wanting that much room! A little house with a garden: yes. A McMansion: nooooooooo.
One additional home in the mountains or similar, preferably on a large plot of land for rambling hikes and conservancy, but a manageable size home for actually living in all year round.
When I look at listings for huge houses on estate agencies’ websites or similar, it definitely puts me off the idea – it’s so much stuff to clean! You need to buy so much furniture just to stop it looking like a cavernous empty space! I would like to live somewhere bigger than I do (things that would be nice: a spare bedroom! Room for all of my books! A table that cam seat more than four people!), but anything giant doesn’t appeal.
I would happily buy another home! I would live to have a cottage on a lake somewhere. Although in fairness, that’s hardly lottery winning excess.
I wouldn’t probably change my clothing habits. I’d buy more clothes and better quality, but I could never see myself going full Fashion Week and wearing incredibly trendy stuff all the time. Nor do I think I would get super into fancy home decor. Every time I read a magazine with a spread on rich people’s homes it looks like no one lives there. I may have a more expensive couch and sweater, but my couch is still going to have a sweater draped over the back and a cat chilling on it.
Ha! I said something very similar about my home and the couch.
Buying a second home (ha, I do not own a first home) would be nice, but I suspect I would feel too guilty about being one of those rich types who buys up all the affordable housing stock and then only comes for a few weeks and so doesn’t contribute to the local economy. (Is this an issue outside the UK? In some touristy towns, second home-owners are a major problem.) I suppose I could buy one somewhere where most houses were occupied all year round, so I wasn’t contributing to an existing problem.
I definitely wouldn’t buy, like, a fancy mansion. I can barely keep up with housework as is it. (And I wouldn’t hire a house cleaner, either, because it’d make me feel weird.)
…Yeah, honestly I cringe at the thought of having A PERSON always wandering around WHERE I LIVE constantly messing with MY THINGS. I mean, I like privacy a lot more than I like not cleaning!
For similar reasons I wouldn’t want a huge yard… unless it could be mostly taken up by stuff that didn’t need a lot of upkeep–rock landscaping or somesuch.
I wouldn’t hire a full time housekeeper, but I might hire a part-time cleaning service for the cleaning parts I hate (bathrooms, for example!). And then I would be able to pay them outrageously well, so I wouldn’t feel bad about profiting off some less-fortunate woman’s labor.
I wouldn’t buy a super expensive fancy mansion. Whenever the Powerball gets high, people start talking about how they’d buy these HUGE houses, and I’m here like… I’d buy a nice small home nearby? And keep working because I’d be bored otherwise?
Yeah I can’t imagine having a huge mansion. Ugh, the cleaning! And having to decorate each room? And what about when you’re home by yourself and so much of the house is empty? TERRIBLE.
I just dislike the idea of being that far away from everyone and everything else in the house. It shouldn’t be a long hike to the kitchen!
See, now, the prospect of decorating each room would be what would TEMPT me to go for the big house. So many pretty things….
I’m not sure I’d buy a house at all. I mean maybe – but I live in a huge city with a huge rental market and maybe I’d just find a nice place to rent? I like not having to deal with house issues.
Actually, I would probably buy a vacation house (or condo). And possibly a car, even though I love being able to rely on public transit. It would make traveling easier.
This! If I were rich enough, I’d buy/long-term rent a hotel penthouse, or whatever it is that people do on Gossip Girl or similar TV shows about city life. Building stuff taken care of, plus room service, plus you can always rent a ballroom or whatever downstairs if you’re entertaining on that scale. I’d do several and not put up with New England in January-March.
But owning a house? Nooo.
Yeah, I’d much rather have multiple small homes than a giant mansion somewhere. Like, maybe a a beach cottage and a mountain cabin. I’m terrible at keeping even my small house in order.
On the other hand, I definitely WOULD hire a cleaning service and tip really well.
Oh yeah. One of those green cleaning services that’s really small and like, three employees.
I would buy one of those old Portland Foursquare houses. In an older close-in neighborhood lined with trees. And then invite a couple of my friends to share it.
I would buy an old apartment building or hotel or something, and renovate it into apartments for my large-but-insular group of college friends so that we could live together and never emotionally mature or let go of our youth #thedream
nice!
Yeah, I really don’t need a bigger house than we have already. I probably wouldn’t even buy a vacation cottage because thinking about managing property somewhere else stresses me out. I would be able to rent cottages in the places I want to stay!
I’ve known plenty of people who, with even fairly moderate amounts of mo’ money, decide to buy a huge McMansion, and then spend the rest of their lives paying a stupid mortgage and heating and cooling a bunch of sparsely furnished and never used rooms, which is the very textbook definition of mo’ problems. It’s an eminently avoidable situation! Just don’t buy the stupid ugly massive ticky-tacky house!
I have no interest in haute couture, so I would never even be attracted to most fancy clothing designers, but I would definitely invest in higher quality basics to mix with my mid-range stuff.
I would never buy a fancy sportscar. I would restore my mom’s ’66 Mustang, though.
I would never employ live-in ‘help’. I would probably have a once-weekly maid come in, but I could never ever see myself letting someone else do my laundry. Or even touch my laundry. I would definitely clean up the day before the maid’s visit.
We actually do pay a very nice couple to spend 4 hours every two weeks cleaning our house (and I feel weird guilt even typing that out, it sounds so pretentious). . . but the best part of the arrangement is that it forces us to clean ahead of time on a regular basis — pick up all of our crap, actually put the laundry away, etc., so that they don’t have to clean around our mess.
I don’t even let my boyfriend touch my laundry. I feel weird dropping off my tiny number of dry-clean items!
I would have a top-of-the-line front-loading washing machine, though.
I would hire someone to help me clean my house. And someone to cook for me and do my laundry occasionally. Those are the things I’m worst about and stress me out the most.
Other than that…I’d probably still be doing pretty much the same things? I wouldn’t get fancier clothing, for sure. I’d definitely worry less about possibly being unemployed for a year. And I’d feel less guilt for spending so much damn time on The Toast/Twitter instead of doing other things.
I was definitely cleaning my bathroom yesterday and thinking /very hard/ about how much it would cost to have someone come in and do this for me. H8 u, soap scum on white fixtures.
We started paying someone to clean the house (2 hours a week) about a year ago and while I had to get used to the decadence at first (not to mention how it’s gendered labor and all that), it’s THE BEST. It does lead to learned helplessness, though – if she’s on vacation for a few weeks we basically just let the house get filthy now.
I wouldn’t be able to justify the cost for a regular service right now, but having someone come by a few times a year and hit the hard spots would be pretty perfect. ugh why does the shower always get sooooo groooosssssss
Mine comes once a month and it’s sooo wonderful. And it’s not a company or anything, just a guy I know from the community and he comes and uses my supplies so I can pay him a decent wage that’s still super affordable. I spend the whole evening before he comes tidying up so he can hit all the surfaces and special projects (i.e. “this month can you move the stove and fridge and deal with whatever horrendous state the floor is in under there?”). then for the rest of the month I try to keep on top of laundry and dishes and everything else piles up until it’s time to set aside a whole evening for tidying again.
I actually send my laundry out now, and it feels so decadent but it is so great. I spend p much every weekend at my boyfriend’s (so I do do my own laundry there) so I don’t have time to do the laundry at my place (and I go there via transit from work on Friday). Now instead of having to work from home for a day when I run out of underwear I just put everything in a bag and someone comes and picks it up every two weeks and returns it beautifully folded a few days later
Oh yes, no fancy car although I would get a convertible something, but still something small. And I would stop working but I have horses to ride!
I make enough now that I save a bit every month without trying to, so I don’t think making more money would change very much. I definitely wouldn’t spend it on stuff that’s mostly expensive because it’s by a certain brand. Also something I’ve never felt tempted to buy? Fancy cars. I know people who have 8, all of them pricey, and I just … don’t get that.
To expand on this: I recently found out that there’s a superspecial Ferrari and to get on the waiting list for it you have to already own four Ferraris. It seriously blew my mind. I mean, if you’re that stumped as to what to do with your money, just give it to charity!
I edit articles about the auto industry as part of my work and some of the shit people put on fancy cars and how much they charge for them reguarly makes me queasy. There’s one car where all the interior bits that are usually wood or plastic has been made in marble. MARBLE.
I cannot imagine ever having that much spare cash that one of those ridonkulous cars sounds like a good idea.
>all the interior bits that are usually wood or plastic has been made in marble
I’m sure that doesn’t add anywhere near as much weight to the car as my initial reaction thought, but it still seems completely ridiculous. And I feel like it would have to be Carrarra marble.
No, it’s proper waffer-thin marble and there was a lot of crowing about how they managed to do it and not make the car weigh a million tons, but it’s still absolutely bonkers.
“waffer-thin”
I LOL’d. (Also, this how my boyfriend and I describe 90% of foodstuffs).
I was *so* tempted to change the ‘incredibly thin laser-cut slices bla bla bla’ in the original article but given I have not yet won the lottery I need to keep my job.
I would definitely not stop buying questionable American snack foods. Come to momma, pizza rolls. ::AUMP:: I would not stop shopping at Target.
I would probably not give up working entirely, though I may end up doing something that involves more volunteer time. I wouldn’t buy any one insanely expensive item (car, purse, jewelry, piece of clothing, etc) just because I’d be so nervous something would happen to it? I think I’d buy better quality stuff in general though.
I might buy more questionable snack foods (why does my corner store no longer stock Swiss Cake Rolls, they are so far superior to Ho Hos). And I could never give up Target, ever ever.
“we wouldn’t have to eat Kraft dinner/but we would eat Kraft dinner/oh sure, yeah, we’d just eat more!”
But not a real green dress, that’s cruel. 😜
I wouldn’t quit working entirely but I would ABSOLUTELY quit this current job that I hate and find something that I actually WANT to do without worrying about how much it pays.
yessssssssss
Unrelated to my potential lifestyle inflation, I will say that we have unintentionally taught the baby to say AUMP when she wants to say that she likes to eat something and it is hilarious.
I’d still wait for clothing to go on sale before buying it. And I’d still get store brand groceries.
In the last year we moved from desperately poor to actually being able to pay off our debts each month (mostly student debt, yay five degrees between two of us) and back in our poverty days I had dreams of going into Target and actually buying things not on the 70% rack. Fast forward and it’s been a year and I’ve bought ONE item at full price. And felt so guilty. So I know one thing that wouldn’t change.
And storebrand is awesome. Same items, better price. Magic.
I wouldn’t move. I live in a modest townhouse in a modest part of a modest town, but I love it. I would do a bunch of maintenance and redecorating work instead. If I came into a lot of money at once, I’d donate some to my HOA so we could make all our dream improvements, like all the fancy landscaping we’re always talking about, and solar panels for everyone.
Yes, this. I have a smallish two bed one bath cottage in the city, and I love it. I would also just focus on doing the renovations and maintenance on my to-do list and continue to live comfortably and happily in my modest but well maintained home.
ALSO SOLAR PANELS FOR EVERYONE!!
I don’t think I would go crazy in any one category but I think I would upgrade just about everything- slightly nicer house, clothes, car, vacations, etc. The one thing I probably wouldn’t get into is jewelry. I already have a ton and I wear exactly none of it.
Lol, me too on the jewelry! My MIL gets me a lot of earrings, and I love them and they are beautiful but…I wear them so seldom that one of my holes closed up and now I’m like, what’s the point repiercing them until my baby is at least 5 and stops grabbing everything?
I would get my back porch rebuilt! And my house painted. And shelving installed in the garage. And I would hire a housecleaner. And I would get more massages. And I would replace my 18-year-old car with something a little newer, but also fuel-efficient.
And then I would quit my job and do a bunch of traveling, and then do some volunteer work and train for a half-marathon and do a lot more rock climbing.
This is my favourite game. I think I would buy a small house somewhere out in the country/on a lake and keep renting in my city. Probably in a nicer apartment. Buy lots of dresses and books and nice cheeses. Get a car? And biggest thing: way more travelling! Not even super fancy or expensive travel, but places in Europe I’ve never been and more sunny places in winter and New Zealand and stuff.
The thing that makes me sad about playing this game is how modest most of my dreams are and yet they seem so unattainable. As you said, it would never occur to me to start buying, like, Prada sweatpants or whatever.
This is almost exactly what I would do. Get a country/vacation house, keep renting, maybe buy a car, and travel a ton. And buy nicer clothing, but not lots of it, just nicer versions.
I would definitely spend as much time as humanly possible traveling. And I would be using the money on staying places where I could get a good night’s sleep, since I am a light sleeper and don’t was to spend my vacations tired with a migraine.
Light sleepers of the world unite, and bring a white noise machine and earplugs while traveling. Sometimes also dramamine or benadryl.
i would become a homeowner because it is a responsible thing to do but also because i really don’t like the horrified looks on the faces of Real Adults when they hear i am renting
and my mother is also impatiently waiting for me to get a Real Job and help fulfill her childhood dreams of owning a vintage green Jag with gold trim so probably that too.
and i would never think about maybe getting an MBA ever again
I think home ownership outright without a mortgage, and with beign able to afford all the repairs etc, would be fine!
You can always get a fancy condo, where you pay a fee and they do all the maintenance for you…
Don’t let so-called grownups give the hard sell on the value of owning. I’ve been on both ends and there are just Some Days. Days where my best friend reminds me of the steep penalties for arson, regardless of how upsetting the collapse of the sill/water in the circuit panel/insulation failures are.
Just sold my falling-down house to move into a pretty nice apartment, and every day is the best. What’s that noise? Who cares?!
Yeah, I mean, I own a house and generally love it, but in many places it is more sensible to rent and anyone pushing ownership as the True Path to Real Adulthood is being a judge-y asshole.
I see we have the same friend.
THIS. There is a complex cost/benefit analysis that varies depending on who you are, what you’re doing in your life, where you’re living, etc that can make EITHER owning or renting the best choice in any given moment.
As someone who bought a house alone and fairly young, I can assure you that it is not the best thing in the world and not the best thing for everyone. I think it will work out fine for me in the end, but if I had the chance to do it again I might have rented for a few years longer.
(Oh my god my grandmother and your mother should join a club or something so they can nag EACH OTHER about getting a real job and saving for retirement and settling down.)
I wouldn’t spend it on weekly mani/pedicures or fancy hair/skin treatments. I also wouldn’t spend it on fancy clothes/shoes. I feel like I’ve figured out the brands that work and although they’re pricier than I ever spent when I was younger, they’re solid quality, they fit, and that pretty much satisfies me. I don’t want to go out and reinvent the wheel. I would fly first class. And maybe expand my home a bit to add a walk in closet and a craft room. Basically a room that was ALL ORGANIZED. With a big work table and a cozy sofa by a window for knitting or just reading/napping. I would also buy a home chef to make all my food and clean up afterward. And I would probably give $ away like that guy in The Jerk until I was penniless.
Oops – just realized I would DEFINITELY invest in a hidden room. Maybe a hidden room to my craft room? OMG I need to buy lotto tickets/start saving money for this project.
I would still drive my Corolla. Fancy cars do nothing for me, but my Corolla is reliable and comfortable for me to drive, why would I upgrade?
I also wouldn’t buy extravagant real estate. Nice real estate? Yes. But I don’t need a 14 bedroom Malibu home for me and my cats, just someplace with a dishwasher and enough space I don’t feel crowded.
Travel frequently, eat well, and buy nice clothing. Still not a ton of it, but since my mom started working in wardrobe for TV and movies we’ve figured out that SOME designer clothing costs that much because it’s worth it. Not all of it, I’ll never pay $50 for a see-through white cotton tee shirt (Hi, Rag and Bone!) but you can buy some very good, classic pieces in pricey brands that will last a long time if you take care of them. And they look damn good.
I don’t think I’d go overboard on a huge house. Something with a few bedrooms for guests and a nice yard, but extravagant houses aren’t my thing. How many rooms can you really make use of at one time, you know?
I know this is off topic, but since you mentioned it, what might some of those worth-it brands be, in your opinion? Do you have favorites for basic everyday things? I’m considering investing in a worth-it pair of pants/trousers…and just eternally interested in deciphering what expensive stuff is worth it and what expensive stuff is a crappy ripoff.
I’ve had good luck with some things from Banana Republic (I realize this isn’t super pricey, but it’s a stretch for me now) but the newer pants I’ve gotten from them feel thinner to me so I’m going to be looking at new places soon. I have found a couple nice wool-blend work dresses there. I know that the show my mom works on uses a lot of Tahari and Theory for women’s work outfits and she’s generally had good things to say about those. We’re also big fans of Ted Baker, but his stuff can be bit on the flashy side for basics. Mostly what you want to look at is material and construction. Unless something is a light silk it shouldn’t feel flimsy, and natural fibers are typically longer-wearing than synthetics if you take care of them. There are some very nice synthetic fabrics out there, but for clothes you want to go the distance I’d stick to cotton, wool, or silk. Seams should be 1/4″ at least, preferably more for pants to allow for alterations.
When shopping new brands, make sure to grab a few sizes to try on. Also, every outfit you see on TV, in movies, in commercials, or in ads has been altered. It’s the best way to make something fit well and look as flattering as possible. Consider setting aside some of your budget for alterations, and stores like Nordstroms offer alteration services in-store (they ship the clothes back to you afterwards) even in their discount section. If you are buying with an eye towards alteration, check seam allowances and make sure there’s something to work with if it’s going out. If it’s coming in, try to get as close to fit as possible especially if there’s a design or pattern that needs to stay centered.
Shopping sales and discount stores can also help if you get a bit lucky. I just picked up a Diane von Furstenbeg wrap dress for about $160 at Nordstrom Rack. They retail somewhere around $600, but it was a return and there was an extra 25% off sale going on. If you’re in an area that has a good-sized upper class, check Goodwill every so often, sometimes people just send over bags of clothes without checking too closely. This is how I bought a pair of Salvatore Ferragamo loafers for $3.15. One of the buyers on my mom’s show is a fan of Barney’s clearance sales where you can get designer products for up to 80% off retail.
Whoa, this is awesome, thanks for the tips! Yeah, I wanna start keeping a keener eye on sales at the high end places. Definitely gonna check out what/where the Barneys clearance sales are! You have really good advice on tailoring too. I LOVE the DVF wrap dresses (so flattering omg) but no way, no how would I buy one full price.
things I would not buy: a new car (I like my used Corolla just fine, thank you). name-brand food and cleaning products if they aren’t significantly different than the store brand stuff. expensive jewelry. expensive wine. a yacht. what the fuck am I gonna do with a boat 360 days out of the year. show dogs. racehorses. wildebeests. restaurants, because who needs food-service improvement projects unless it’s for a reality show. ill-advised designer overalls. koi ponds. more shoes than there are days in a year. active volcanoes. non-haunted castles. ostentatious oil paintings of myself and/or my pets. a better squeegee. six kinds of mayonnaise. rocketry lessons. cable.
I like your list.
ostentatious oil paintings of my pet . . . I am seriously considering this: http://www.splendidbeast.com/
I will be with you not buying any boats! I can’t make any promises about active volcanoes though.
I would buy all of the records and quit my job and make music and read books and watch way more movies and party endlessly. And do a lot of yoga. And maybe go on a lot of yoga retreats? idk, i have never been on a yoga retreat because i cannot really afford them. O, and I would have a vrituecar membership (or maybe my very own Teslamobile that I would share with friends?) so that I could go hiking sometimes.
Also, I would buy a lot more Art. Of all kinds – for my walls, for my body, for the world in general. Like, my yard needs a sculpture that is heavy enough that hooligans won’t automatically steal it.
Travel. I would travel any and everywhere, for money would eliminate all problems.
I would not: have a bigger house, more cats, or a bigger (yarn) stash. Those are already problems.
I would never stop eating at McDonald’s. Maybe I’d start looking at the 30 and 50% clearance racks at Target instead of just the 70% off one.
My thoughts exactly. Anything less than 50% off is just a trick!
This sweater is still more than $15? SCAM!
I’ll probably still shop the clearance racks, but I’d love the option of not *needing* to.
I don’t need extra homes or cars, and I’m not much of a jewelry person, but I’d definitely spent more on travel. I’d update my clothes, but I’d never even think of couture sweatpants. It’s more fun to spend on experience than things, I think
Hmm, go all-organic, do any of those fancy rich-person fad diets, get plastic surgery.
I would prob still keep getting my hair cut at Hair Cuttery, because they never try to talk me into anything I don’t want.
Yeah, I would keep going to the same hair stylist, because she was my friend long before she decided to become a hair stylist, and I like going to someone who knows me and cuts my hair accordingly. I would, however, give her enormous tips.
I think giving enormous tips to everyone would be the most fun if I were rich.
One of the reasons I adore my boyfriend’s mom is that she consistently gives large tips. I have seen waitstaff’s eyes go wide. It’s great.
Heck, the hair cuttery people don’t talk to me at all, which is the greatest gift they could give me. I don’t come in that often so I don’t have that report that others do with their stylist. Any attempts to engage me in gossip end in awkwardness, and they seem to understand this. So bless them and their silence.
I think I’d quit all my for-pay clients and spend a lot more time on civic technology development. If I didn’t have to pay for life, if urban property was guaranteed, I would probably just do more volunteer-y work in the same vein as what I do now: I like organizing things.
When I got a HUGE wage lift from changing my industry, I bought substantially nicer jeans and instantly stopped worrying about booking plane fares/vacations/scheduling life six months in advance, and I got a retirement account, but even that dramatic shift never put property on my schedule.
Honestly, just the shock of having positive, real, non student-debt-money would be satisfaction enough.
That said, I’d do more pilates and allow myself to buy the fancy shoes at Rack. Maybe even shop Ann Taylor WITHOUT the sale!
I would probably not quit my job or buy a Ferrari or ever set foot in the really fancy mall in my town (I’ve looked in the windows and if you only have the dress in three sizes, odds aren’t good that any of them will go over my ass ;))
I’d have a personal chef though and I would Never Cook Again.
Yes personal chef! I am ready to live a life free from cooking.
I think I’d either buy a house and use my current apartment as a rental property, or get a PhD.
I would still never leave my house, but my TV and couch would be bigger. OK I guess my apartment would be bigger too. Oh and I’d be able to afford takeout. So I would leave EVEN LESS.
I would spend so much money on delivery.
Pay off my student loan debt. Pay off my friends’ student loan debt. Take care of my adult (34!) acne for once and all. face lasers. A therapist. Make bad art 24/7
Amen to the bad art schedule! Also, my bad art would be made with much nicer art supplies.
And with maybe a nice studio space… I could afford photoshop …
this sounds like the dream, tbh
With you on the acne and a therapist. I was so pissy when I realized that if I had money, I could fix all my scarring.
I know right! since it’ll be a battle between the scars and the lines soon enough, so I’m not too bothered. Besides, they make me look a bit like the bad guy in a low budget action film.
Huh. Just realised with shock that at the moment very, very little in my life would change and yet this isn’t because I’m rich and happy.
I would still stay in my very cheap room in this fairly nice flat in France because I only moved recently and I like my new housemate and I want to make new friends and I can’t do that if I live on my own, no matter how big and beautiful the house is. I would still be applying to academic posts and fretting about not getting them and procrastinating on getting my thesis-as-book manuscript ready to send to the publisher. The only things I wouldn’t be doing are my two crap part-time jobs, so I’d be having more fun/applying for more academic jobs.
I would also be buying beautiful clothes and furniture and going on more holidays and giving more to charity and doing more volunteer work and getting motorbike lessons but yeah the fundamental living situation + career activities wouldn’t change at all.
Off topic, but whereabouts are you in France?
Lyon…are you near?
Nope, Paris. We have an FB group for French Toasties, if you wanna join.
Sorry for late reply! Yes please! Thank you!
I realise that no-one would really care if I clarify but I feel like I gave a false impression which makes me uncomfortable. My comment wasn’t meant to suggest I’m really unmaterialistic. Because haha wow I really love STUFF. I’m the type of person who can’t just buy, say, a tray. I would trawl through ebay and etsy and eventually order something like a 19thC papier mâche tray with hairline cracks which means I can afford it with a (very) limited budget. I could *definitely* find lots of beautiful things to buy. But yeah the big ones won’t change, which is weird because I’ve grown accustomed to admitting I am really a very, very materialistic person. (Though oddly not enough to go for a career that will make me rich in any foreseeable future so I guess there’s that.)
I would play Cyndi Lauper’s ‘Money changes everything’ on repeat until the neighbours complained.
my imagination for ways to blow cash kinda peters out at around the $4k mark, like maybe a new camera and moving somewhere that doesn’t have shitty weather for at least part of the year. I think you might have to be born rich to have the talent to burn through hundreds of thousands like it was nothing
Right? Most of my ideas are along the lines of pay off mortgages, save money for retirement, be able to put my kids through college. Maybe some more travel and fancy cheese? But most of what I want is not to have to worry about money, not spend it like it’s going out of style. I can’t imagine burning through a ton of money all at once except maybe by buying a house all cash when we move.
If you want ideas on how to spend money like crazy, though, get a house in a neighborhood with trees that isn’t right by the railroad in the bay area. A couple of million easy.
2010s Manhattan is dystopian billionaire disneyland enough I can’t even fathom what life in Nerd Manhattan would be like, or why you’d choose to live there
This is so good!
If I were crazy rich I would probably buy the duplex I live in off my landlord at whatever price he asked rather than move. My very patient downstairs neighbor could stay put, but we’d all get our own washing machines. I might put in a turret, though, and replace that one lightbulb in the stairwell that always dies.
I’d invest in green technology and other things for the future.
I’d also buy better quality makeup! and id get a hairless cat since id probably have more free time and patience to take care of one!
I wouldn’t get expensive haircuts, though.
I wouldn’t buy lots of houses or cars or weird businesses that end up destroying my fortune. I would probably remodel my house, buy nice furniture, hire a gardener, and turn my life into an Anthropologie ad generally while giving giant sums to non-profits and museums and churches that I love.
I have a huge family and I would definitely buy a massive estate out in the country somewhere so everyone I love could live in one place. We would have horses and retreat from society. There would be no need for handbags in our new lifestyle.
I don’t think I’d buy a gigantic house, despite my longtime desire to be the kind of person who owns an ancestral manse (and calls it an ancestral manse, because really). It just seems like an awful lot of upkeep. A house big enough for a decent-sized library and a couple guestrooms, with a nice kitchen and a bathroom with both a big tub for soaking luxuriously in and a fancy shower, and I think I’d be good.
I also wouldn’t buy super-expensive clothes or jewelry. More clothes, definitely, better quality/better fitting clothes, certainly (I’ve always wanted a made-to-measure dress), but I really don’t need piles of jewels or couture garments.
I just want a house big enough and old enough that neighborhood children start rumors that I am a witch (bonus: it means you can slack on external upkeep. More weeds=witch!)
Psst eshakti has made-to-measure dresses that aren’t that expensive and they constantly have discounts.
Ooh, this is quite true! I should really stop lurking on there and get to purchasing. So many dresses!
This is one of my husband and my favorite date night arguments. He would want a fancy car. I would be happy driving our midrange station wagon forever. We agree on property – apartment in London, something by the sea. But diverge entirely on everything else. I cannot imagine spending more than $70k on a car. Unless it flies. HOWEVA, I could totally drop $1k on a purse. Which makes him apoplectic. Luckily we have like no money.
No matter how much I joke that I want a pony, I don’t actually want a pony.
I’d probably just spend more on the things I already spend money on. Like, if I could live in a place with enough space to have a dedicated library, I’d go back to buying paper books, rather than studio-apartment dictated e-books.
Yes, with more money I would buy more books rather than get all of them through the library. But I like going to the library a lot…so I’d still go to the library!
I can’t imagine that I’d want to buy a house. Oh, I’d buy myself a nice condo rather than renting, but I just don’t need more than an apartment with maybe one extra bedroom that can serve as a home office when we have guests. And *certainly* not more than one house.
I wouldn’t go to absurdly expensive restaurants because I don’t really understand dropping huge amounts of money on a single meal. I’d probably wander into really expensive, designer stores to look at clothes, be very baffled, and then wander out again in favor of like, Target and TJ Maxx. I would, however, buy half of ModCloth’s inventory, so there’s that.
I’ve been to a couple of moderately expensive restaurants (I had gift cards), and have discovered that the food is rarely good enough to justify the increased price.
I would buy a nice condo as I don’t need mansion with huge amounts of land, but I wouldn’t buy an expensive car. I would, however, be an actual job creator and start the kinds of businesses I’d love to frequent while paying my staff as much as I could while still remaining in the black.
Being able to pay people well (not that I would start a business necessarily, but people who worked for my household) is definitely something I would do. And provide time off and some sort of benefits.
Spa day at least once a month. Entire day floating around in a fluffy robe, indulging in at least three treatments including massage, taking the waters.
A lot more travel (ie more than once every couple of years).
Standard issue library with rolling ladder and at least two secret doors/passageways.
I would like to visit you in your standard issue library. I will bring my own fluffy robe.
It would depend on the nature of the “significantly more money”–if it were in the form of the substantial raise I have been advocating for for far too many years, obviously I would have to keep working, at the same place, and thus, while I’d want to find a larger unit (gods, give me a second bedroom, please!), I’d want to stay in either the building I’m in or one of the two next door, because I love the location. But I wouldn’t start buying designer clothes, because the reason I need a second bedroom is to have a dedicated sewing space where I can just close the door and leave the mess behind it, rather than living in a warren of fabric scraps and thread ends, fighting off the cats’ insistent supervision, while I try to complete a project. And I wouldn’t get a fancy car, because the perfection of my location is in large part due to the spectacular public transportation access it affords, and I wouldn’t buy much different food, because the other perfection of my location is being within walking distance of 2 supermarkets and 2 Trader Joe’s.
If this were in the form of a massive lottery win or (my personal version thereof) a MacArthur Fellowship, I’m out of this job, buying a slightly larger, single-family house so I have a sewing room AND an office, and I’m writing, researching, taking daily dance classes, learning how to garden, and traveling. Still not buying the designer duds, though–I do not have a designer body.
Oh, and also, I would definitely not start my own religion. Uh-uh. Not at all.
I fully do not understand the appeal of super-fancy cars. I would just spend the entire time I owned it terrified of someone backing into it in a parking lot. I also do not understand the appeal of designer anything. I mean, i’d probably try to stop buying my work clothes at Target or whatever, but I would never spend a significant amount of money on things like jeans and handbags. I could be the richest woman on the planet and I’d still be carrying around my Merona purse.
Probably therapy.
And pants that fit.
I love this game!
studio flat in a part of town I really love, furnished all in danish modern. Upgrade all of my wardrobe not to ~brands~ but to the higher quality pieces they’re emulating. i.e. I only have one pair of black heels, but I would like them to be Manolos. Buy my parents a house so my dad could quit his job and kick back. Travel to all the cool places my friends live. Buy some great statement piece jewelry. But once that initial overhaul was completed, I really don’t think the rhythms of my life would change that much. I would keep working. I’d keep cooking. I’d never live in a big house or buy a lot of clothing.
Mainly I would like to give huge tips and contribute to kickstarters without feeling guilty. Also write big checks to charity on a whim.
I would pay off my own debts, as well as bf’s student loan. Replace my car with something fuel-efficient and newer (like a Leaf, or a Prius or something). I’d get out of my current rental place so I didn’t have to listen to stompy upstairs elephants any more, but would have to discuss with bf, because neither one of us is fixated on having a house. Most of the money would go in the bank.
I would not buy a host of things like houses and cars and boats and all that. With all those maintenance costs, you’re going to run out of money! I would probably not stop shopping at thrift stores, and would definitely never be found in the fancy department store sections as I cannot stomach paying that much for something that the sewist got a pittance for. Since I’d quit my job I wouldn’t have much need for work clothes, but I would probably still buy a couple of nice tops/pairs of slacks so that if I needed to dress up I could.
I would buy a lovely 1920’s bungalow house close to downtown so I could walk/bike everywhere. Those houses are expensive, but they’re way better and cozier than a giant mansion imo. I would probably also buy a cute cabin in the mountains and rent it out to people when I’m not using it. I would donate to charities and also make sure my parents are taken care of so they can do whatever the hell they wanna do for the rest of their lives. I would travel a lot more too, and not have to worry about spending too much on lodging or flights (sitting in 1st class would 100% happen).
What I wouldn’t buy are extravagant things – shopping at designer stores all the time and buying huge mansions, luxury cars, etc. I don’t understand the purpose of having those things. They seem like more of a burden to have than to not have.
I think about this fairly often because it’s actually (hopefully) going to happen to me. I grew up without much money and right now I am in grad school but if I can graduate successfully, I stand to be making a lot more money than I ever thought I would. Like, I’m not gonna be a sudden kabillionaire, but I’ll theoretically be able to buy fancy stuff and have an actual house that I *own* and shit.
But I don’t think I’ll ever stop shopping at Goodwill. Like, maybe I’ll get some nice new clothes too, for work events or something, but I think most of my wardrobe will forever consist of faintly used clothing that I got for cheap.
I also will never stop eating way too much pasta. It started because pasta is cheap but it is also amazing. (Or at least, I won’t stop because of money. I guess I might cut down on it if my doctor finally tells me my mom was right all along and I am in danger of turning into pasta).
I would eat fancy pasta. With more fancy stuff on top. But still: pasta.
I’d still do my own laundry and dishes, but I’d be doing them in my own home!
Would you get a fancy dishwasher? My boyfriend and I lived in a brand-new place for a year and change and it had a new dishwasher. We didn’t have to rinse the dishes before putting them in. It was fabulous.
I WOULD get a dishwasher. If you pack them right, they’re better for the environment!
I’d get the same kind my parents have that rolls around (so you have extra counter space) and hooks over the faucet. It does a good enough job for me, by jingo!
(Oh, I just want to be a regular middle-class suburban person of the type that seemed so attainable when I was growing up.)
I wouldn’t buy a house (they’re all too big who will clean all that NOT ME but I also don’t like Hiring Help it feels weird) but I would definitely go find an apartment I actually like.
I LOVE old houses and I would probably make some pretty questionable decisions on that front. (I actually… have a list of historic houses in Berkeley that I would like to own if I could somehow trick someone into writing me into their will.) How many houses can one woman own? Well, what if I want a Craftsman bungalow AND a brown shingle mansion? Is that so wrong?
I can’t promise I wouldn’t consider a boob lift/reduction, and I would be happy to throw tons of money at my naturally-super-dry and already-getting-wrinkly skin. But I don’t see myself ever getting into designer clothes/shoes/handbags. (Especially shoes. Do they even make designer flats?) I also agree about Disney World, I fundamentally don’t understand the appeal of going there as an adult.
Also: jet-skis. Our grocery store is doing a Monopoly game thing where one of the prizes is a jet-ski and I hope I win it just so I can destroy it, and then there will be one less jet-ski in the world.
You could win it and then sell sledgehammer swings for a dollar a piece, all proceeds donated to some sort of appropriate charity (the canoeists benevolent fund or something). My parents used to talk about this a lot when I was growing up and jet-skis were just getting popular.
My dad used to be really into jet-skiing. I didn’t even like going along and sitting on the shore. So goddamn noisy.
i…also walk around berkeley looking at the beautiful old houses and thinking “i want to live in THAT room! the one with all the windows!” and “i would turn THAT room into a book nook!” and so on anf so forth…
Now that you say this, I’m remembering a specific one on Woolsey that has a tiny second-floor glass-windowed porch thing (sleeping porch? it’s a bit too small for that, though) that’s painted white inside, and that room with afternoon sunlight slanting through it is my entire version of Mallory’s super comforting Places I Would Like To Live. If I could just, like, BE that room, it would be great.
ugh yes. i walk down woolsey all the time (at least near college), so i feel like i might even know which house you mean? in elmwood especially, there are so many beautiful sunrooms/glassed porches, so many beautiful corner windows!
Ha yeah I think this one is on the corner of Benvenue or Hillegass, definitely in that area.
Um, totally unrelated, but I think you said at one point you were growing out a pixie cut and I was wondering if you had a good stylist who was helping you? Mine moved to Portland, so I went to see someone else at the same salon and she cut like 1/16th of an inch off the back, which fixed the mullet-ness for about 2 days.
i WAS growing out a pixie! but after i made it to a bob (here’s a photo) i…chopped it all off again.
what worked for me was getting an undercut. my hair is crazy thick, and getting an undercut let me put it up into a tiny tiny ponytail or bun (like so) until it got long enough to wear it down. i don’t even remember where i got it done. at a $10 place on telegraph i think. i just showed them a photo, clipped up my own hair into a line, and prayed they’d shave it straight.
once it was all of a length long enough to wear down, a friend recommended manifesta in downtown oakland (it’s on broadway at about 11th i think). amy did a great job with my hair, but it was NOT cheap ($65 before a tip, i think).
best of luck with your growout!
Thanks! I think I need to wait a little bit before an undercut is a viable solution – the top hair needs to get a little longer. It looks like a good idea when I get there, though. The tiny ponytail is so cute!
If I had gobs of money I probably would stop working, but I’d enroll in classes/hire tutors instead. Spend all day learning Stuff, like languages and more math and non-white-dude-centric history. I spent college trying to get a ‘profitable’ STEM degree and also not die of anxiety, so a do-over without pressure would be swell.
I’d still travel economy-level for all flights under six hours, unless health/traveling companions’ comfort demanded otherwise. I’d still do road trips, but with a more fuel-efficient vehicle, because I refuse to give up the pleasure of my dog riding shotgun.
I’d buy SOME better clothes, like Nordstrom-level quality, for when I’m expected to leave the house, but I’d still invest heavily in Cheap Tees and Fleece Camo Pants from Old Navy or Goodwill because, you know, pets and messes and shedding. And yes, I’d hella invest in Classic Designer Statement Pieces that would last forever and always be fashionable.
I would still do the primary care for my pets. I mean, I don’t live to empty a litter box or refill a food dish, but my cat and dog are aware that I am Human Mom and trust me to the point of ridiculousness and I don’t want to share. I might hire someone to take the dog for regular exercise, though.
(Thing I would not still do: buy cheap shoes. I have size 11 feet and I would just start buying Stuart Weitzman because I’m sick to death of the butt-ugly affordable shoes available in my size.)
Wealth fantasies, yay!
I wouldn’t buy designer clothing, or designer anything, really. But I wouldn’t feel crushing guilt for buying a $25 shirt anymore.
I wouldn’t buy a luxury car, but I’d certainly replace my 16 year old sedan that is really starting to show its age.
I wouldn’t buy a huge mansion, but I would buy a house with at least 3 bedrooms and a nice yard. I’d also buy higher quality furniture and pay to have it delivered, instead of trying to shove Ikea boxes into my car.
And I wouldn’t buy a new cell phone every year, but I’d probably worry less about how much longer my 5 year old phone is going to hold out before it gives out entirely and I have to replace it.
As a grad student in History, it would probably all go to books. Books that I don’t want to read, but have to read. The worst kind of books.
BUT also, just the thought that “if you don’t get a job in your field, it’s okay, you have a bit of money saved up to stay on your feet” would be worth more than all the Naked eyeshadow palettes in the world. (So many colors! Goes on so smooth! Doesn’t itch!)
What wouldn’t I buy? I still wouldn’t buy full price clothes if I could avoid it, and wouldn’t quit my job.
What I *would* buy is a house here in NZ, a house in San Francisco, pay gardeners for both houses (I’d rent out the one in the country I’m not living in, but as a renter I hate having to be responsible for a garden), pay off my families mortgages, pay off my student loan, pay off my friends student loans, have a wedding that did include a sit down dinner, establish some scholarships for underrepresented ppl, pay for haircuts instead of doing mine & fiancées myself, travel lots.
–I’d probably keep trying to use public transit as much as possible.
–Instead of wearing jeans or black pants 95% of the time, I’d wear them only 85% of the time. (Look, navy blue pants! Charcoal grey! Maybe I’ll go crazy and buy cobalt.)
I think I’d always be shopping clearance first, and I can’t say I’d buy a a lot of expense makeup/skincare. I’ve used some in the past, but honestly a lipstick should change aspects of my personalty for the better before I consider paying more than $10 for it.
(I get complemented most often on my 50¢ lipbalm anyway)
What would change:
I’d travel more.
I’d get my teeth fixed, root channels are very expensive and my local charity place doesn’t offer them
I’d buy one of those wing scarves from Shovava (and I’m sure my life would improve immensely after that).
I’d buy my dream spinster cottage by the sea. I would wear raincoats often and have several cats, one very big dog, several small mutts. I’d keep bees and a goat. I would write novels and be friendly but mysterious to all the locals.
And I’d never feel terrible for looking sadly at my wallet because I’m not able to help people who need and worthy charities, so I imagine I’d feel less guilty, and that sounds fantastic.
OMG!! If I suddenly came into money, I’d give some to you to pay for dental work! Root canals are hell, but they’re infinitely preferable to needing one. I remember once, when I was being worked on at a dental school and therefore it took forever and was a tricky root canal at that, lying in bed and thinking, “If the only thing that would stop this pain was cutting my head off, I would cut my head off.”
I would not buy a big fancy house. Just a medium-sized one. One of those classic one-story Chicago bungalows would be perfect.
I would not buy a big boat or a fancy car. I would buy a canoe. And, okay, I may get a Mustang. I have a soft spot for American muscle cars. But I wouldn’t have more than one car, and I’d still use a bike as my primary mode of transportation in the city.
I would not spend a lot on cosmetics. I do not really wear makeup or (much) jewelry, and I’m happy with my body so no cosmetic surgery either.
I would not fly everywhere. I don’t like planes, so I’d still avoid them as much as possible. I would take the train a lot, though. Because then I’d be able to afford the sleeper cars!
I would not join any of those fancy-pants fitness clubs or country clubs or any of those status clubs.
I would not buy a bunch of tech gadgets. I don’t see the point of many of them.
Things I would spend a lot of money on: yarn, farmers market goods, craft beer, tattoos, tailored shirts and pants, leather shoes, cat furniture for my kitty cat. I’d also help my partner pay off his mortgage and remodel his house. Also I’d take martial arts classes and lindy hop classes. I’d also donate a bunch of money to organizations that try to alleviate income inequality in the city, and help low-income residents stay in their homes.
Getting really into purses is a good one, I can’t see that ever happening. Same with cars– Hondas are good cars! I like mine, and honestly there is nothing more I want in a car than what I have now. It drives well and the stereo is nice and honestly I think it looks quite sleek.
I wouldn’t get a pool. I might spend money on a pool membership, but not a pool that I would have to maintain. I still wouldn’t have cable TV, either– maybe I’d buy a TV (or a nice projector) but I still wouldn’t pay anything for broadcast television.
I wouldn’t hire anyone to decorate my living spaces. I don’t think I’d enjoy that.
Assuming a huge windfall (like, lottery money or inheritance from a long-lost incredibly wealthy relative), I wouldn’t keep working. I don’t think I would be bored with traveling, cooking, catching up on all the video games I am 85% of the way through, and buying Kindle books full price for at least 100 years.
I wouldn’t bother to buy things just because I could. The fanciest cars, the most expensive clothes, the most outrageous home entertainment system. I probably wouldn’t go to clubs or fancy restaurants, or start a wine cellar.
I would stop buying all second-hand clothing for my kids and get some nice clothes for myself. I would pay someone to mow my lawn and shovel my driveway, pay off my mortgage, and go on vacation. And… I think that’s my whole $$$ fantasy! I wouldn’t want to stop working or take up shopping/collecting as a hobby. Oh wait, I would definitely replace some appliances (stupid stove with 3 out of 4 working burners, etc.).
you know how in The First Avenger, the super serum makes everything about you more so? good becomes great, bad becomes monstrous? that’s what unlimited funds would do to me. Every affectation, every mannerism, every bad trait or snippy attitude would become exaggerated beyond my already cartoonish ways.
Everything about me would change because everything would become more. Every whim indulged on a vast scale.
I’m Red Skull, is what I’m saying.
Hell I’d start a production company to fund exactly the kind of movies I want to see and as my ego got larger I;d demand to write, direct, and star in them also sing.
(I’d also get a personal trainer cause that;s the one thing I really want but can never quite justify the expense of. Someone to Yell Me Better.)
I would like to say I’d keep buying all my clothes and most of my house stuff at thrift stores, but would the pleasure go out of it if it didn’t matter what a great bargain it was anymore? Or would I feel bad for buying that amazing Persian lambswool/mink coat for $7 when I could go somewhere and pay a bunch of money for it and let someone not-rich buy that one? This is the only respect in which I think being rich would not be 100% great with no drawbacks or pitfalls whatsoever.
I wouldn’t want a huge house because I can barely keep my one bedroom apartment clean. I would have a room in a house that is entirely for books though.
I would buy all the dresses and shirts from Pepperberry and BiuBiu so that my boobs can finally fit into my clothes properly.
I don’t think I’d into designer purses. I have very strong opinions about optimal compartment design and accessibility of keys/metro cards for purses that will always take priority over brand.
I would buy pre-cut vegetables without feeling guilty. I would also finally start cooking meat other than chicken because I wouldn’t feel guilty about wasting expensive meat when I mess up at first.
I completely agree on the purses thing. I too have strong opinions on optimal compartment design, in addition to my abiding love for across the shoulder straps. Plus, I feel like I would definitely get mugged if I carried around a fancy purse.
I am so persnickety about number of pockets, etc, and I always end up with huge bags that kill my back. I think, though, that I have found close to the Platonic Ideal of bag, though I’ve only had it for about a week so the time-will-tell test has yet to be passed. There’s room for everything, even my laptop, and yet I can’t stuff it to back-injury state!: http://www.llbean.com/llb/shop/88628?feat=847-GN3…
I would also stop swearing nightly at the cats because the only treats they will countenance are the vastly expensive freeze-dried chicken ones.
At a certain income level, I suspect I’d just stop leaving the house altogether and become an eccentric recluse.
Basically. I’ll run through all those hobbies I’ve been wanting to try, and then just devolve to watching a lot of Netflix. And baking.
I would not buy a yacht.
I was about to say, the most likely outcome for me would be “pay off my debt, hire people to handle life things and pay them extravagantly, eventually devolve into Grey Gardens territory.”
I already have a fabulous scarf for this occasion. I saw it and was like “This is excellent for my future as eccentric old woman.”
It’s sparkly and has a peacock on it.
…I have more than one such scarf, including a sparkly peacock one.
Except we’ll train our raccoons to use a litter box! (And pay someone else to clean up after them!)
Exactly. I know enough people who are broke and handy to keep the house from falling down around my ears/in decent enough condition to be safe for human habitation, and I’d pay a living wage.
I’d never buy:
– high-end designer clothing
– a vacation home (our current house is enough to keep on top of, and I love hotel stays)
– Sotheby’s or Christie’s-caliber art – happy to see that in museums and share the experience with others
– any fancy car. I don’t drive, have never been interested in cars and can ID maybe 3-5 makes/models at MOST. Husband still teases me about the time my wealthy boss gave me a ride home, Huzz asked what kind of car Boss drove, and I said in all seriousness, ‘It was red.’
I would go to film school without worrying about spending all of my money for something that might not pay off.
I would not buy designer clothing. I would hire someone to do my clothes shopping for me, though. Someone who doesn’t work on commission.
I still don’t think I’d buy a house.
My husband and I have been renting since we got married in 2009 (I moved in with him then, and he’d already been renting that apartment for three years). In general, we just really enjoy the freedom of renting and the lack of upkeep it requires on our part.
Honestly, nothing about my life would change. I mean, I’d be using my own money for room and board rather than my parents’, but I’d still live off my college scholarships and probably get into RA-ing next year, like I’m planning on now. The extra funds will get obliterated when I go to law school anyway.
I would probably buy one very nice pair of boots, and one very nice coat, but otherwise, all of my clothing would still come from Uniqlo and Target, I would just feel less guilty about spending that much money on clothes from Uniqlo (cause that’s fucking fancy shit for me).
I would buy: property, nicer furniture, all the bookcases, many first-class plane tickets to places I want to go, rental accommodation in all of those places so I can stay for like three months, and much, much nicer bathroom products. And art. Not, like, the priciest art, but when I saw a painting in an art gallery I loved I’d buy it.
I would not: buy any vehicle fancier than a Tacoma, purchase jeans that cost more than $50 (even that amount is pushing it but I used to love the way Gap fit me), buy expensive handbags/shoes/accessories, go on fancy luxury vacations where they plan everything for you (I can plan and execute my own fucking vacations), develop any kind of makeup/hair routine, or live in an inherently expensive location.
And I wouldn’t quit writing, but I’d definitely quit my day job of business writing and work much harder on short stories and essays and novels.
This is great! I really wouldn’t want a different life, I’d only want my normal life except a little bit better. Eating out, going to see films and plays and shows, buying books, getting a cab when I don’t feel like waiting for the nightbus. Also a Roomba and a dishwasher, please. Travel, of course.
I think that the biggest difference would be that I’d want to buy expertise. For example, clothes. I’m too androgynous to find clothes in normal clothing stores (men’s clothes don’t fit right, women’s clothes don’t look right) but I also really hate shopping. Butches and androgynous people always tell me to research clothing labels, order from online stores, etc, but I Just Can’t stand it! It makes my brain go to mush and I don’t even enjoy myself. If I was rich I’d pay a tailor to solve all my problems and answer my dumb questions.
My dream is to never have to learn anything about clothes and be able to find clothes by saying what I honestly think, which is usually something like: “So I want a suit, but I don’t want to wear a tie because I’m not literally trying to pass as male, but I definitely don’t want the suit to be girly, but my neck looks stupid when there’s nothing there, because it looks like there should be a tie, but I don’t wanna, so, uh, can you work with that? Also, where can I get some shoes that don’t have anything weird on them”
So I want a suit, but I don’t want to wear a tie because I’m not literally trying to pass as male, but I definitely don’t want the suit to be girly, but my neck looks stupid when there’s nothing there, because it looks like there should be a tie, but I don’t wanna, so, uh, can you work with that??
Collar clips/pins!
Do you read dapperQ? It’s like a web GQ for gender-nonconforming and masculine-of-center and butch and menswear-loving people.
(Saint Harridan and the other tailors are def. pretty pricey, but dapperQ might be clothes eye-candy for you anyway!)
I would do so much.
Options:
1. Quit work, spend a few years mastering cooking and baking of all kinds. Open a cafe.
2. Get my PhD in English and be content with whatever teaching position I got (as long as I taught more literature than composition), no matter the pay or the school.
3. Hire a language coach, move to Italy after a few years of practice.
4. Move to Stratford Ontario and become a Canada Shakespeare groupie.
Books! Theatre! Unlimited baking and cooking! Italy! AH
I wouldn’t buy an impractical car, but would I ever buy a collection of bikes. A bike for every mood! So many bikes!
Bicycles I would like to own, were money and space no object:
a custom touring bicycle so I could finally do long days without excruciating shoulder pain, I am so fucking sick of “making do” with weird handlebar/stem setups where I still only have two hand positions and then STILL pop ibuprofen like candy
a fast little road bike because why the fuck not (haaa the one time I test-rode a carbon women’s racing bicycle at a bike fair I was like, Ooooooh, that’s why people buy these, SO FAST, and I could lift it with one hand)
a mixte city bike but WAY nicer than the Linus I currently have, or maybe build up an 80’s-era lugged frame like I always wanted to
an antique women’s Raleigh DL-1 with that gorgeous loop frame, le sigh
a single-speed cyclocross bicycle because I’ve always wanted to try ‘cross
….once upon a time the list included a fixie but meh
Researching my answer led me to this on the Powerball website:
“Do powerball tickets expire?
Yes. The Universe is decaying and nothing lasts forever.”
That copywriter is awfully gloomy for someone almost literally selling hopes and dreams.
I love this and choose to believe whatever intern wrote that FAQ loves Warner Herzog.
I used to work for a vanity project owned by a very wealthy person (their money came from chewing gum if you know what I mean), and I’ve seen how they do things. So I can tell you that even if you own an entire island (and both a yacht with a full-time captain and a private plane with an on-call pilot to get there) your kids will still sometimes wear hand-me-downs because they’ll just run around outside and get them dirty anyway.
I’d definitely buy a mountain cabin to write in. And probably a bunch of land, just so I could preserve the trees and the wildlife. And definitely a little two family home and rent it for super affordable prices to lower income families.
Also, traveling. Allll the traveling. Oh yeah, and I’d pay off my boyfriend’s student loans (even if we aren’t going to be together forever, I want that burden off him) and set my parents up so they could retire now.
Other than that, it’d still be cheap clothes and Trader Joe’s for me!
I would buy so many homes! I’d definitely get a house in Maine and an apartment in Paris. Plus I think a place in NYC? But I would drive practical cars. I would quit my job and foster animals. I think I would buy nicer clothes, but I hope I wouldn’t buy more clothes. Also, since I’m not working all my clothes would either be faux-pajamas or super adorable impractical and colorful dresses that I would never have to put cardigans or jackets over because I would keep my house at a normal fucking temperature instead of constantly frigid.
I may be typing this from under several cardigans while freezing my ass off at work.
yes, finally, me too!
A house on an island in Maine, and maybe little apartments in New York, Paris, Sicily, and Berlin. and then rotate between them a lot because I can’t decide where I want to live best.
Also I would totally buy fancy clothing. From obscure brands, but really well made and a bunch of it tailored just for me.
Wouldn’t bother owning a car, though. I’d just walk, take public transportation, or treat myself to a cab. Rentals for road trips form time to time.
A couple of years ago I received an unexpected windfall from a relative’s estate (totally unexpected, not that much in the grand scheme of things, but I got to call myself an heiress in my head!) and my husband and I took a road trip through the Southwest and have designated the rest of it for a down payment on a house that we intend to be living in for the next 40-odd years. So I can genuinely say money will only change my address and the number of states I’ve visited, and clearly had no effect on my holier-than-thou attitude.
I would buy a lot of real estate. I would buy a town house in Brooklyn for my primary residence (untouched Brownstones are just PERFECTLY LAID OUT for my lifestyle) a commutable cottage/farm house-ish on the Hudson River, and a tiny lake house in the town where Mr. Mad Editor grew up & his family has lived for over 360 years. I would buy my mother, brother, and father their own condos. All of these places would be furnished perfectly. I would own great art.
I would buy exclusively heritage meats, and not fret about wine (I kind of do this now, but only occasionally and I fret-ish). I would go to super fancy restaurants with semi-regularity. I would probably own two pairs of unfathomably expensive shoes, but they would be neutral and go with everything and be perfect. I’d probably ditch my skin care regime and only wear La Mer. No more makeup, no more anything. Just La Mer. Pay off student loans, and the rest of my family’s debt. Make sure I leave enough for the next generation. And donate a lot of literacy programs.
Handbags confuse me.
I would probably not buy a car.
I would rent them sometimes. And I would own a truly ridiculous number of bicycles. And an insane amount of clothes. I like Japanese Lolita fashion but it’s really pricey, and it would be nice to own a fuck-ton of it without carefully poring over secondhand sales sites and Chinese knock-offs.
Though I think the first things I would do are get lasik or whatever to fix my eyeballs, and get a dermatologist to fix my skin–I’m 36 and I’ve had acne since I was 10, y’all. It takes a toll. I already look a bit like a spotty orange peel.
If I suddenly acquired unlimited wealth… I probably wouldn’t tell anybody aside from maybe my immediate family. I wouldn’t move out of my crappy apartment. I wouldn’t quit grad school (though I would be relieved that I no longer had to worry about the job market). I wouldn’t buy a super nice car, though I would get rid of the one I have currently and buy a jeep. I would get a nicer wardrobe, but nothing extravagant. Just enough to bring my young English professor aesthetic into full effect. I hate the idea of someone seeing me and thinking that I look super rich.
I would, however, drop all kinds of money on anonymous charitable donations. And fulfill my dream of randomly leaving 3000% tips for waitresses and waiters. And of course I’d go back to Europe. I’d take my father on a trip to Ireland, because he’s never been but has wanted to go for years, and he deserves it.
Oooooo, yes. To me the ideal situation would be for nobody to even know about it unless I’d told them personally! Like if I could win the lottery and be anonymous.
UGH, DADS. <3
No amount of money would stop me from obsessively paying off my credit card each month & saving my rewards points (and never spending them because I’m waiting for the perfect ‘free’ thing to buy).
I would get my nails done weekly though and tip 100%.
There’s a possibility that I will in my lifetime become stupid wealthy comparative to my adult life to this point, and I’ve already accepted that most of what money would let me do other than help people I love is go full Grey Gardens, less the animal feces/death. Right now I have to force myself to do most adult human things that I can do (disability implicated here) because I have to pay my mortgage. Without that impetus I’d probably be a full shut in in short order. Luckily I have a few people who would probably intervene in this slow decline, but I know myself, I’ve met me.
I would not buy a new couch (but I would re-upholster my current couch, which is older than I am.)
ALSO! I would probably not stop worrying about what I’m going to be when I grow up, even though I’d have the funds to do whatever (or not) and also am already quite grown.
I wouldn’t move, I don’t think. I love my house and it’s just the right size. And I hate moving, even if I could pay people to box up my stuff.
(I’d get some expensive-ass soundproofing, though, and built-in bookcases.)
I wouldn’t not work. I don’t know that I’d stay in this job, but I wouldn’t be in a crazy hurry to leave it.
I don’t know that I would actually get a massage therapist to follow me around 24-7, but I would definitely get weekly two-hour massages.
What my spouse did NOT do when he unexpectedly became a multi-milionaire in 1997:
– move out of the icky tiny apartment over the deli,
– travel, or
– put any money into savings.
What he did:
– donated all of it to charities & art galleries, except the amount needed to
– buy a grand piano stored in a music studio and
– lease a limousine with a chauffeur service and an unlimited ice cream bar.
I’m the fiscally unimaginative one in our pairing, so if that had been me, those lists would have been reversed.
Except maybe the unlimited ice cream.
Oh man, I love playing out this fantasy in my head… Here goes
Would not buy: designer clothes, shoes and expensive cars. I don’t see the point of paying above a certain price point. I am convinced that until a certain point quality increases commensurate with the price. After that, you start paying for the name only – you increase profit margins for the company while the workers (seamstresses and the like) are still getting paid a mere pittance. I mean, how much better can a thousand dollar handbag be -is still only made of leather and thread.
Would buy: a farm house and land. I would love a craft room, a library and lots of space to foster animals. I would totally quit my job and pursue a life of leisure, learning and occasional volunteer work. I can’t imagine ever getting bored by my hobbies, pets and various fields of study I didn’t get to pursue at Uni.
I’d get a suit tailored so that it actually fits my tiny butch body
Oh my god, tailoring clothing! That’s the type of not extravagant but still indulgent feeling thing I’d do all the time if I were a trillionaire.
Yes. The dream.
If I suddenly acquired unlimited wealth… I probably wouldn’t tell anybody aside from maybe my immediate family. I wouldn’t move out of my crappy apartment. I wouldn’t quit grad school (though I would be relieved that I no longer had to worry about the job market). I wouldn’t buy a super nice car, though I would get rid of the one I have currently and buy a jeep. I would get a nicer wardrobe, but nothing extravagant. Just enough to bring my young English professor aesthetic into full effect. I hate the idea of someone seeing me and thinking that I look super rich.
Oh, I’ve figured this all out. Now, it depends on if we’re talking about a nice amount of money or a life-changing amount of money. The second is more fun, so that’s the one where I have worked out all my plans perfectly.
I will move into a very nice apartment, which I will own outright. It will have, at the very least, a bedroom, a guest room, a living room, a dining room, an art studio, and a room dedicated to fostering cats. I will spend my time doing art and fostering kittens. I will travel a bit more but not change cities. I will probably get a Tesla because they’re neat. I will not really change anything about food or alcohol. I will continue to go to Disney World because I like it.
I am unlikely to change my lack of makeup or my clothing, but I will absolutely get my hair done all the time, I love having my hair done but I always get the triple length addons, and then I feel annoyed. But I won’t, anymore. I will buy more art (and jewelry, which is just wearable art) and also foster kittens in maybe more than one room. My studio will be beautiful and I will own all the supplies I want and then I will give it to charities to sell because I won’t need the money.
Then I’ll get a few more kittens to foster and pay for needed surgeries for them.
The tiny 6×12 second bedroom in my apartment is called the “kitten room,” because its most frequent use is to house foster kittens. Eventually there will be a kid living in it, but until then it is for foster kittens. We’ve had 10 so far!
Hmm. I think I’d do some things differently for sure if I suddenly were a millionaire. I’d have a nice place of my own, but not big exactly – maybe 2 bedrooms – just perfectly laid out and updated for my preferences. I want a snazzy big bathtub and loads more storage in my bathroom, is what I’m saying. And a window seat.
There would be no designer cars or handbags or clothes, however. Firstly, I’d like to live somewhere with actual public transportation, but even if I decided to stay near my family, the thought of driving around in something super nice gives me anxiety. Handbags? Seems to me like the big selling point there is longevity and I don’t want to keep any bag for decades. Clothing? Won’t fit me, though I’d like to hire someone to just look at me and make things that work perfectly for me and my particular clothing goals.
And I would definitely, definitely follow through on my threat to donate to every university I’ve attended except for my undergrad university. The second they ditch their football team, I’ll be happy to give them money, but not until then. It’s more satisfying when you have money to give.
I wouldn’t buy EXPENSIVE wine, but I’d start buying bottles that are like, $30 instead of $10. I would also find a house with a bay window reading nook and a gas stove.
I have a detailed plan for this! (for various degrees of “a lot of money)
Stage 1: pay off all remaining debt. Sling a big chunk into low-risk investments. Buy a modest house with a lot of windows and a porch, somewhere on a hill outside a small town. I want 3 bedrooms so I can have both a dedicated guest room and a sewing room. I have 2 or 3 dogs. I keep working, but “work” means I teach classes on knitting, sewing, weaving, and whatever else catches my attention, and make art. I have a giant garden which frequently gets out of control. I pay someone lavishly to help me clean because I suck at it. I buy a gently used Subaru Forester because the roads get a little dicey in weather.
Stage 2: Seriously lots of money. Build or buy a compound and open a retreat center for grown up groups of friends and artists. Make it a model of super cool sustainable architecture and technology. Solar everything, composting everything. Communal rooms with lots of comfy furniture, good lighting, and enough electrical outlets.
Can I come stay with you in your dream house? I’ll bring my knitting and some books to share. I’ll even help out in the garden.
Yes! That’s the point of the permanent guest bedroom (plus additional tiny eco-friendly houses added as money and space permits). Company welcome! Please don’t talk to me until the second cup of tea, though.
A compound was central to my plans for my $1.4 billion powerball jackpot. That and a staff to take care of all the laundry and dishes and feeding everyone and such.
I think I’d stop buying things altogether. I hate clothes shopping – I’d just hire someone to be in charge of my wardrobe and laundry, and a property manager to take care of everything that broke in my house. I can imagine trips I’d take, but not so much things I’d buy.
I would not go shoe/clothing/purse shopping any more than I already do (i.e., when my current shoes/clothes/purses fall apart). However, when I *did* go shopping, I would probably go for the high-quality, long-lasting brands. Partially so I could then go shopping even *less* often.
I would not stop trying to write novels. I would probably be more successful, as I would quit my job and devote more time to writing, but another thing that would not change is that I would endlessly be distracted by the Internet.
I would not go to excessively fancy restaurants where they serve you like two bites of food, as others have said.
I still don’t know what my dream house would look like, but all I know is that it must have a secret room behind a bookshelf. This would remain my top priority when I became rich.
I would not buy a fancy car. I would not buy very expensive clothes, although I would probably spend more on my kids’ clothes. I would not buy gadgets. I would not buy a huge house or very expensive furniture, unless I got rid of all my animals and children. I would (probably) not quit working.
I *would* take more vacations, hire a housekeeper and gardener, use more childcare, buy fancy food, and buy higher quality stuff when I needed to replace things like dishes and appliances. I would also pay the people who worked for me well.
I would not buy: a huge house, fancy jewelry, fancy clothing, fancy wine (unless I started getting into wine, then okay, but not just to like, buy and have), makeup, high-end restaurants, accessories in general, tech-y things unless I will actually use them, fancy cars.
Things I would 100% throw money at: modest 2-3 bedroom homes in cities that I like; a second vehicle with 4WD/roof rack for camping/boating/assorted outdoor activities (but mostly I’d still want to drive a fuel efficient vehicle for everyday stuff); GOOD CHEESE; buying every book on my wish list/every new book I decide I want as soon as I hear about it; high end robes, pajamas, and loungewear; tropical vacations in the dead of winter (and travel in general.) A major problem would be deciding which of my modest but charming homes would contain the main library, as well as devising a cataloging system so that I could know what house my books were in, but given a giant pile of money, I’d hire a software engineer and a MLIS grad to figure it out for me.
I lose absolutely everything so I 100% would not buy nice jewelry. I would lose it just as much as I lose my cheap stuff. Same goes for clothing, honestly! I’m not NOT gonna leave a $300 sweater on the train just because it’s $300 and not $10 from H&M. No amount of money will change what a flake I am.
Also don’t care about cars, cannot afford even one car right now so just one Prius would be beyond my wildest dreams.
I also cannot see myself getting into fancy art. If it’s so great I’ll look at pictures of it on the internet; I don’t need it in my home.
i wouldn’t buy a fancy house, but i would probably move into a nicer building.
i woudn’t start jetsetting, but i would feel less guilty about taking a long weekend trip twice a year or so.
i wouldn’t buy a car, probably.
i wouldn’t spend more on food, because fancy restaurants stress me out and i like eating salad out of the bag.
i WOULD buy all the fancy lingerie and jewelry and perfume, probably buy nicer clothes (but not CRAZY expensive), and all the beautiful housewares, the furniture, the art to hang on the walls.
I don’t think I would move. I genuinely like my town and my neighborhood. The big question mark has been my school system, but with unlimited funds, I could either make a huge private investment in the public schools or send my daughter to private. We’d renovate the house, possibly put an addition on it (HELLO FIRST FLOOR BATHROOM AND LAUNDRY ON THE SECOND FLOOR). I’d like to find a part time or three quarter time job with benefits, maybe update my car to a four door. I’d definitely have more kids. I’d take a vacation that wasn’t visiting family.
ETA: And I would pay for a damn house cleaning service!
I work in a bookshop which I love, so if I could cut it back to working 3 days a week rather than 5, I’d do that. I like the area I live in – I’d like to have a little house here, rather than a rented flat. Things I can picture spending money on – better quality clothes (not having to wait for Monsoon to have a 70% sale), nice editions of books, best quality gin, a piece of woodland with a stream, going for a nice meal every now and again, the education of my nieces, helping family out generally with finances. Things I could never imagine spending much money on – fancy cars/boats/bikes, more than one home, a personal chef, designer clothes, fancy hotels…
A lot of my problems are poverty-based, but a lot of them aren’t. I suspect I probably wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about the non-poverty-based problems even if the poverty-based problems were solved. I suppose there are also wealth-based problems, which I would no doubt navigate about as well as I have the poverty-based problems. I don’t know if I’d ultimately live any longer or not.
Tons of money? Oh man. So much would change. Buy a tiny house on the ocean somewhere in the PNW, and a cabin somewhere in the Rockies. Buy a horse and pay to board it. Talk myself out of starting a sheep farm (“DON’T DO IT, IT’S SO MUCH WORK FOR SO LITTLE MONEY, JUST STAY AT B&B’S NEAR FARMS INSTEAD AND MAYBE GET A REALLY NICE SPINNING WHEEL”).
But you can bet I’d still shop at thrift stores and buy run-down leather goods and insist I’ll get them repaired. THESE COWBOY BOOTS, LOOK AT THEM, YOU CAN’T BUY THIS KIND OF CHARACTER, WHO CARES THAT THEY SCRATCH UP MY FOOT AND ONE HEEL KEEPS FALLING OFF.
This is my favorite fantasy, too, aside from the ones where I have superpowers!
What I wouldn’t buy/do with an arbitrarily large amount of money:
*buy a large fancy house/a fancy car
*buy more than one of either of the above. Like, I can see the appeal of a vacation home, but I would worry about it when I wasn’t there.
*remodel any house I was currently living in
*collect things
*buy lots of entertainment equipment. (I don’t need or want a tv, because if I’m watching tv shows I want it to be on my computer where I can chat with friends at the same time.)
*start any kind of business–too much stress.
*buy any item whose price just sort of offends me, like how could it POSSIBLY be worth THAT much
*eat at fancy restaurants
*go on elaborate vacations
*buy a lot of fancy clothes/jewellery. Though I think I would still get a really nice stylish coat like I fantasize about wearing, also a nice pair of boots.
On the other hand, what I absolutely would do:
*buy a modestly nice–but economical and low-profile–car, and go on a lengthy road trip around the country to find somewhere I’d really like to live, then buy a modestly nice (probably one-bedroom so it’s easier to refuse to host anyone, ever) house there
*actually I would also like one of those swimming pools that don’t use chlorine. if those work.
*take classes in whatever took my fancy, preferably one-off ones that are a few weekends or something as opposed to full college courses
*commission fanart and fanfiction
*contribute to kickstarters, charity, etc
*buy professional-quality software for like, 3-d modeling, animation, video editing, you get the picture. Also a new, more powerful computer that could handle it easily (my current one struggles a little with Videopad sometimes). I would FULLY INDULGE my digital art hobby. I would finally make that video which I have in my head but don’t have the skills or means to do.
*get a dog. or a cat? A dog AND a cat. That’s the ticket.
I wouldn’t stop forgetting to change the litter box. I’d still have to remind myself to floss. I wouldn’t get a bigger TV or a nicer car. Much as I’d like to, I won’t get a new couch until my children have mastered NOT SITTING ON THE COUCH POST-BATHROOM WITHOUT UNDERWEAR WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.
I’d probably still work, though. I love this job.
I think I would still find it hard to spend more than necessary for self-indulgent reasons. I recently went to a comedy show with my boyfriend and he suggested that we get the good tickets (in the front few rows) rather than the cheap ones, as the price difference was minimal, and I took a great deal of persuading.
Also, buying non-generic painkillers or similar items. Why would I buy fancy brands of paracetamol when I can get Boots own-brand for about 20p?
I hear ya. I’d probably still buy Sainsburys Basics loo roll… and Basics chopped tomatoes… and Basics cream cheese…
I love Sainsburys Basics basically.
What I probably would do is get takeaways more, and thus singlehandedly keep my local restaurants in business. Also I wouldn’t always click ‘Price: Low to High’ when trying to order my search options.
Ooo I would also buy the crazy expensive ‘hypoallergenic’ Siberian cat I need and desire, while also donating a lot of money to local animal shelters because it’s shit that I can’t adopt a cat that needs a home because of these stupid allergies which only developed because my adult body HATES ME.
I might buy a hypoallergenic cat too! I love cats, but unfortunately I ALSO love my boyfriend, who is allergic to them.
1. Quit my freaking job.
2. Pay off the freaking house.
3. Travel.
4. Repeat number 3 above endlessly.
What would remain unchanged: singing, teaching singing, lots of time with my kids.
Step 1: Set aside money to pay for my parents’ eventual medical care, nursing home costs, and so on. Even though they’re financially responsible, the idea of them receiving subpar treatment as elders horrifies me. Step 2: Set aside money for my own eventual assisted living/ end of life needs. …Is it messed up that this is what concerns me as a 24-year old? Step 3: Pay for friends’ health care for their mental and physical chronic illnesses. Step 4: Move out of the incredibly decrepit, mold-ridden, washer- and dryer-less duplex that I live in now.
What I wouldn’t do: Buy luxury goods, buy a fancy car, buy a huge house, buy a permanent house at all. No fancy parties, no world travel. No starting a business or getting into finance or funneling money into super PACs or whatnot.
As previously discussed, wouldn’t buy a house, though would buy/rent long-term a couple of penthouse suites in hotels.
Would not buy a car, but would probably rent and/or take taxis a lot more, especially if the weather was gross. Though I would quit my job, so I might just do train plus taxi anywhere reasonable, and then keep renting cars if I’m going out beyond the reach of public transit. (Might also buy a tiny safe used car in order to take a road trip, and then sell it when I get back, unless the rental place will give me a discount on a long-term rental.)
Would not buy designer handbags, or really many “mainstream” designer clothes, because I don’t like many fashion trends. Might well hire a personal tailor to give me, basically, Peggy Carter’s wardrobe. Would buy the best pairs of boots I could find.
Wouldn’t stop writing, but would quit my day job and do volunteer work instead. Would also learn to sail, and to ride again.
Would get a lot of luxurious pedicures and spa stuff, but would not get gel stuff or manicures, because one seems pointless and the other involves sitting still not reading for way too long.
Would not throw fancy parties all the time, but maybe once every couple months. And would travel a lot, but wouldn’t necessarily want to go to the really popular places, just sort of…ramble around pointlessly.
Would not buy a huge TV–I share another poster’s preference for watching stuff on the computer, though I would want a TV on which to play DDR. Or maybe I’d just buy a DDR machine.
Would go to a lot of amusement parks.
Would not get a lot of pets, because I wouldn’t have the time or attention to give them, but might get a rescue dog and pay someone else an exorbitant amount to pick up its crap.
Would not go to a lot of big live shows or opening nights or whatnot: too crowded, too not-my-house. If I’m going to go out and interact with people, I want to be doing something. So I might go to a lot of fancy nightclubs.
I’m actually now making more than I ever dreamed I would just a few years ago (change of career + small inheritance that paid off my loans), and I kind of feel like I’m pretty happy with most of my life? I mean, I just lost my cat to cancer, but money wouldn’t have solved that. I can’t, like, indiscriminately refurnish my apartment on a monthly basis, but I can buy the (reasonably priced) things I want without having to worry.
What I would do if I had an unlimited amount of money – stay at my current job, which I like, but possibly retire earlier than I’m currently planning (still a long ways away). Fly first class for vacations and stay in slightly nicer hotels – though I’d feel weird about staying at, say, the Four Seasons on a regular basis. Move to a two-bedroom apartment in my current building – it’s nicer than any of the condo options in the area, and I’m not interested in a house. Make lots and lots of charitable donations and contribute more to interesting Kickstarters. Buy art. Treat my friends to expensive meals. Relax.
I’d hire a kickass nanny and a kickass housekeeper, and I’d apply for all the non-mummy-track jobs I’d actually like to do. I mean, the decisions I’m making are the right ones for my family at the moment – but yeah, that’s what I’d do.
We’d buy a nicer car, because that’s a priority for my husband. I wouldn’t necessarily buy fancy-schmancy clothes, but I’d love to get most of my wardrobe custom made, so, swings-and-roundabouts on that one? I’ve got one slot left in my handbag rotation, so I’d fill that.
And then I’d buy ALL THE BOOKS, ALL THE TIME.
This is a tricky one! Like so many people, I think a lot of what I would do. But here is what I wouldn’t do: go to fancier restaurants. I would still go to the same places and order the same food.
I am lucky with money, especially for an unemployed person but here are some things I would do
1. move to an apartment in the building where my friend lives, because it is a perfect building.
2. Have the housecleaner come in more often.
3. Buy, guilt-free: more takeout, more books, more video games
4 update my wardrobe but only to fill in the current gaps- warmer work clothes, more shirts, some nice skirts.
5. hire someone to cook for me once a week, things that could go in big tupperwares and I could eat on them for three days or so.
6. get a dog!!
Things I would not do
1. own a home thing.
2. go out more.
3. vacation. I hate traveling, go away traveling
4. buy any kind of electronic.
5. buy fancier clothes really. especially purses. no.
6.I would still try to find a job.
I’d travel everywhere, all the time. And I’d move to London just so I could get a season pass for Arsenal games. I wouldn’t buy more expensive clothes, I don’t think, I’d just buy more of the relatively cheap ones I get now.
Oh, and pay off the crushing student loan debt. That.
There were so many Arsenal fans on my tube train home this evening loudly singing/chanting football songs. I am now suspicious that you could be one of them. (We are in a crowded, enclosed space! Why all the bellowing?)
Sadly I was not one of them, although I would never disturb urban solitude like that. My guess is they were headed to the Barcelona game, and trying to drown out the creeping despair of an inevitable, terrible loss by bellowing. (It didn’t work.)
I am sorry for your/Arsenal’s loss.
Why thank you. I’m spending my evening with a big bottle of wine, shaking my fist at Messi, which helps a lot.
Oh man, my life would change drastically if I were significantly wealthier.
I am all about buying myself personal space. Hello private jets on private airfields. Goodbye being groped at TSA checkpoints in front of 200 fellow travelers and getting to know the intimate details of my neighbors’ life on transcontinental flights. Hello home a thousand miles away from civilization but with a discreet staff to supply and maintain it. Hello giant moat around said home. Goodbye getting yelled at by neighbors because they think my dog pooped on their lawn when I am anal about keeping my dog leashed and cleaning up after it. Goodbye being woken up by my neighbor’s stereo or the kid down the street learning to play the trumpet. I could go on.
I would continue to work, but there will no doubt be a correlation between my newfound wealth and invitations to sit on various boards and commissions. I would accept these new positions. I would use my new influence to change the balance of persons in leadership position in favor of non-males.
I would invest so heavily in political campaigns that you would see my face in black and white on commercials and political mailers, maybe with horns even, accusing politicians of selling out to me. These commercials and mailers would be telling the truth.
I would have multiple personal chefs. This is because I love hot breakfasts and hot dinners, but I know from experience that split shifts suck. So I would have separate morning and evening chefs, but pay them full time. And morning and evening weekend chefs and pay them full time too, because people need days off.
I’d create the library from Beauty and the Beast.
I would go to school FOREVER and pay full tuition price to small private universities for ridiculous degrees like a Master’s of Ethnomusicology and take classes like The Anima in Scandinavian mythology or whatever. I’d probably never get around to doing any real scholarly work like publishing. Just take classes from visiting professors and argue a lot in class.
Okay here is my lottery plan, feel free to use it if you luck out:
Keep my current lifestyle for the most part in terms of clothes, luxuries (yarn), etc.
Invest in a property that is a house + detached massage studio.
Work out fair labor contract where massage therapist uses studio space, I get daily massages next door. (With vacations, I’m not a monster.)
Wallow in my pain relief and ecstatic muscles.
Not only would I not lose any of my class anxiety, I also probably wouldn’t be able to shake the idea that I should be making art and failing that, making much better art.
I also can’t imagine owning a car, even if I woke up tomorrow as a Walton level billionaire.
I would never quit work (but I might reduce my days), I would never buy cars/ expensive clothing/ gadgets used only for bragging.
But I think I would buy my personal cinema.
Oh, what a fun exercise! Probably work 1/3 as much as I do now, take care of student loans, and throw money at things like writing coaching and dance lessons and stuff like that. Girlfriend would like a bigger house and a puppy, I would buy her a house but right now puppies are too much work, unless we also threw money at someone coming to take care of it.
I’m not suddenly flush, but my business is picking up recently that I have more opportunities to work and be paid relatively well to do so, and the prospect is somewhat startling because I’m so used to hanging out in scarcity. I did g back to therapy and I will continue to search for pants that actually fit. And am verging on the prospect of will quitting the things I don’t like, which is something else that’s also very exciting.
I would travel all over the world but make sure I had a cozy place to come home to.
I would make illustrations and art and DIY stuff all day.
I would become a philanthropist, but the type who actually does things and not the type who just gives money.
I would get an amazing haircut that would somehow dry exactly how I wanted it to (this is a scene from Will & Grace I will never forget and yes I know it’s fictional but I will forever chase this dream).
I would definitely get the hell out of New York City.
I would not quit my job, but I might telecommute more, since the nearly 1hr commute is literally the worst thing about my otherwise perfect job.
I would not buy a mansion or move, but I might buy a small vacation cabin on the lake nearby where my boyfriend’s family used to spend their summer vacations. He’d love that.
My boyfriend would quit his job the second the check cleared, and he’d probably pursue the laid back local band slash music tutor career he’d always dreamed of.
He’d move in with me and oversee the renovations and such that I could finally afford to do; add a powder room, clean out the basement, build a garage in the back on the concrete foundation where one clearly used to be, etc. We’d adopt a bunch of older kids and teenagers and teach them our nerdy ways and make sure they all got to go to their college of choice debt free…
*sobs* I wish I made more money!
That’s a damn good question. I would buy so many more bespoke suits than I currently have. I would still be inordinately arrogant, I would also still drink way more than is good for me. I would join a gym to balance this out, though. And a personal trainer. I would get my bum knee sorted for once and for all.
I would spend the winter in Costa Rica, because it seems like a great place to be rich in. Somewhere like Rekeyuvak seems like it’d suck no matter how much money you had.
Fuck being cold ever again.
This makes me think of a conversation I had back when I worked at a ladies’ clothing store. We had fashion magazines in the back, and I remarked to one of my co-workers that I really didn’t understand why people would buy, say, a bunch of fancy designer purses. She kept insisting that I’d think differently if I became rich.
Yeah, I never really fit in at that job.
It’s not that I couldn’t think of plenty of less-than-practical things to buy, but they’d be more along the lines of cosplay, fantasy art, bladed weapons, and armour. Also computer stuff, but I think that’s getting into the “more practical” line.
What would remain *unchanged*? I’d still be a good person. I’d still be nice to folks for no personal gain. I wouldn’t get plastic surgery, or anything. Physically I’d remain me.
But who wants to think about what *wouldn’t* change?
My husband and I were talking about this over the weekend, we wouldn’t suddenly start eating at weird, swanky, overpriced restaurants. You know, the ones where you pay $100 for 2 bites of food. Not interested. I’ll be sticking with my $25 jeans from Old Navy and my band t-shirts too. Would buy a house and an Aston Martin, though!
I went to one of those swanky restaurants recently (it had a Michelin star) on the company’s dime and was decidedly underwhelmed. So I’m with you there! I might go out to dinner more often, but to the same restaurants we already like.
I wouldn't buy "fine" jewelry, i.e. expensive stuff with real diamonds or whatever, but I would probably take myself to Francesca's or Charming Charlie like once a month for cheap new bling in bright, fun colors. Well, ok, maybe not once a month. But more often than I do now, anyway. Haha.
Oh, Goddess bless you for saying that! My parents have been bugging me about it the past few weeks and it's obnoxious.
I could be that off-the-charts .01%er in all my friends’ pro-Bernie videos and I still wouldn’t feel comfortable shopping in THAT wing of our local high-end mall. Last year, when I got my hiring bonus from my job and desperately needed office clothes beyond my single black skirt, I wandered into White House | Black Market and the amount of self-talk needed to get through that … no thank you. I’d have a private shopper through Modcloth (in my world this is possible) who knows exactly what will work on me and with everything else and will hand-deliver them and, as seasons change, my closet with slowly fill with perfect sweaters and corduroy pants, both old favorites and new and yet it’ll never be too full and I’ll never feel overwhelmed.
And I’ll never have to step foot into one of those intimidating stores ever.
I wouldn’t buy fancy cars, because I totally don’t get the appeal. People are always like “oooooh, it goes from 0-100MPH in 8 seconds!” Fine, but when are you EVER going to do that? I mean maybe next time I’m in a high-speed chase with a bunch of assassins I’ll wish my car had that sort of capability but in the meantime IDGAF.
Excessively rich food actually upsets my stomach because I am a commoner, so I wouldn’t start eating out in fancy resteraunts.
I wouldn’t move right away, because my flat is more than big enough for just me and it’s also right opposite my church which is the only way I’ll ever drag myself out of bed on a Sunday morning.
I wouldn’t buy fancy bags or shoes, because I’m a vegetarian and all the posh ones are made of leather. Actually, maybe I’d get myself a Matt and Nat handbag or something.
I wouldn’t suddenly want a yard or buy a house or think kids are a good idea for me. I wouldn’t get interested in precious gems and metals and other jewels. I wouldn’t want expensive shoes or designer bags.
I wouldn't suddenly want a yard or buy a house or think kids are a good idea for me. I wouldn't get interested in precious gems and metals and other jewels. I wouldn't want expensive shoes or designer bags.
I would probably still work constantly. I would buy nicer stuff, particularly food and liquor, but I would still want my PhD and to become a professor eventually. Too much of my personality is invested in that.
Also I would not buy a new car. I fucking love my Honda.
I would immediately buy and move into any of Frank Lloyd Wright’s homes. Preferably Fallingwater but quite frankly I would live in the living room on display at the Met if they would let me. (What level of museum membership entitles one to live inside the museum?) Get a couple dogs and cats and a reliable car and then just spend the rest of my billions on, like, books.
What wouldn’t change if you won the lottery is such a great question to ask. I feel like I’d stay at my job. I’d keep like shopping at the 99 cent store and buying cheap dumb crap, but I’d buy more of it and not feel guilty. I wouldn’t buy expensive designer stuff, like the aforementioned purses (I love purses but refuse to spend more than like $30 on them). Not that often, anyway. I would definitely not try to turn myself into a brand or design my own whatever.