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Home: The Toast

While cleaning up my hard drive recently, I found a folder of papers I wrote in grad school. Some of them aren’t total shit, but the titles are. So I’ve renamed them to reflect my post-academic hopes: that somebody besides me might ever want to read them.

I swear to God, the original titles are real. Feel free to make fun. 


Original Title: The Usefulness of Unease in Jacobean Tragedy

New Title: SO, UHH, INCEST. YEP. WELL. IT SOMETIMES WORKS AS A NARRATIVE DEVICE. NOPE. 

*

Original Title: The Essay is the Genre that Encloses All Others: Shifting & Collapsing Aldous Huxley’s Magnetic Poles

New Title: IMAGONNA CALL A BUNCH OF ESSAYS THAT AREN’T ESSAYS “ESSAYS” #becausephd

or:

TRUSTME


Original Title: A New New Critical Approach: The Interinanimation of Emily Dickinson

New Title:

comeatmedickinson


Original Title: Modernism and the Negotiation of the Influence of the Past

New Title: EZRA POUND & T.S. ELIOT WERE DICKS


Original Title: “Doubt about everything/Published above us in the dark”: The Mutual Incomprehension of Science and Literature

New Title:

ezgif-com-save-1

or:

Screen Shot 2014-10-13 at 11.44.12 AM


Original Title: Poetic Excrement: In His Verses, Jonathan Swift Shits

New Title:  POOP, POOP, POOP, POOP, POOP: IT’S NEVER NOT FUNNY

or:

doge


Original Title: Percy Shelley’s Poetry of Science & the Possibility of an Even Embrace

New Title:

neilandshelley


Original Title: The Poetics of Inelegance: A Defense of Richard Brautigan and the Vernacular Sublime

New Title: PUMP YA BRAKES & QUIT TALKING SHIT ABOUT RICHARD BRAUTIGAN’S POETRY 


Original Title: Entropy: Dispersal as Deterioration as Creation

New Title:

jabeserm


Original Title: Sprezzatura: Henry James & the Real Imagined & the Imagined Real

New Title: HJ: MAKING FICTION FEEL LIKE NOT-FICTION SINCE 1875


Original Title: Literature as Philosophy as Literature as Psychology as Literature

New Title: 

SLEEPWALKERS


Original Title: A Neo-Aristotelian and Burkian Analysis of the Futurist Manifesto

New Title:

futurism


Original Title: Emily Dickinson and the Dilemma of Paratexts

New Title:

EDbaddog


Original Title: A Case Against the Dismissal of Quantitative Verse

New Title: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS PAPER IS ABOUT. YOU SHOULD READ IT AND TELL ME.


Jess Stoner is the author of the novel I HAVE BLINDED MYSELF WRITING THIS. She lives in the delicious brisket-sweat of Austin, Texas.

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