Previously: Baby Jacques Derrida.
BABY JENNY HOLZER: [spits up]
MAN: Oh, baby Jenny Holzer, what a mess
BABY JENNY HOLZER: SPIT ALL OVER SOMEONE WITH A MOUTHFUL OF MILK IF YOU WANT TO FIND OUT SOMETHING ABOUT THEIR PERSONALITY FAST
BABY JENNY HOLZER: [throws doll against the door]
MAN: that’s not nice to do to our toys
we use our words in this house
we don’t hurt the doll
BABY JENNY HOLZER: EXPRESSING ANGER IS NECESSARY
BABY JENNY HOLZER: what is it
WOMAN: try it
BABY JENNY HOLZER: dont like it
WOMAN: how do you know you don’t like it if you haven’t tried it?
BABY JENNY HOLZER: what is it
WOMAN: it’s cauliflower
try it
maybe you’ll like it
BABY JENNY HOLZER: [touches cauliflower briefly against lips]
i dont like it
WOMAN: you didn’t even take a bite!
try a little bit more
BABY JENNY HOLZER: DESTROY SUPERABUNDANCE. STARVE THE FLESH, SHAVE THE HAIR, CLARIFY THE MIND, DEFINE THE WILL, RESTRAIN THE SENSES, LEAVE THE FAMILY, FLEE THE CHURCH, KILL THE VERMIN, VOMIT THE HEART, FORGET THE DEAD, LIMIT TIME, FORGO AMUSEMENT, DENY NATURE, REJECT ACQUAINTANCES, DISCARD OBJECTS, FORGET TRUTHS, DISSECT MYTH, STOP MOTION, BLOCK IMPULSE, CHOKE SOBS, SWALLOW CHATTER. SCORN JOY, SCORN TOUCH, SCORN TRAGEDY, SCORN LIBERTY, SCORN CONSTANCY, SCORN HOPE, SCORN EXALTATION, SCORN REPRODUCTION, SCORN VARIETY, SCORN EMBELLISHMENT, SCORN RELEASE, SCORN REST, SCORN SWEETNESS, SCORN LIGHT, IT’S A QUESTION OF FORM AS MUCH AS FUNCTION, IT IS A MATTER OF REVULSION
BABY JENNY HOLZER: [gnaws on keys]
WOMAN: honey, don’t eat the keys
BABY JENNY HOLZER: [gnaws on keys]
WOMAN: sweet pea, give me those, please
i’ll get you some real food
BABY JENNY HOLZER: [gnaws on keys]
WOMAN: wouldn’t you rather have a cookie than those cold nasty keys, honey?
BABY JENNY HOLZER: PROTECT ME FROM WHAT I WANT
FEMALE VOICE: ‘The truth is people are pushed around by two men who move all the bodies on earth into patterns that please them.’
MALE VOICE: ‘I love my mind when it is fucking the cracks of events.’
MALE VOICE: ‘What I give to all the people who do not want to live with me is arithmetic.’
FEMALE VOICE: ‘Everyday, I do nothing important because I am scared blank and lazy. But then the men come. I put my mouth on them. I spit and write with the wet.’
MALE VOICE: ‘I was not born live. This body grew but I did not feel cells split.”
BABY JENNY HOLZER: [grunts slightly]
MALE VOICE: hang on
is she going?
FEMALE VOICE: i don’t know
MALE VOICE: I think she’s going
FEMALE VOICE: maybe it’s just gas
BABY JENNY HOLZER: [makes face of concentration]
MALE VOICE: I think she’s going
FEMALE VOICE: well, check it, then
MALE VOICE: I can’t check it
what if she’s still going?
FEMALE VOICE: fine, then
don’t check it
or check it later
MALE VOICE: but what if she IS going?
BABY JENNY HOLZER: pllllbth
MALE VOICE: she’s definitely going
BABY JENNY HOLZER: [plays quietly with trucks]
MAN: hey sweetie, you don’t want to play with that one
see how it’s broken? you could hurt yourself on it
why don’t you give me that one and you can have this nice new blue one
okay?
BABY JENNY HOLZER: DEVIANTS ARE SACRIFICED TO INCREASE GROUP SOLIDARITY
WOMAN: say goodbye, Jenny Holzer
BABY JENNY HOLZER: dont wanna go
WOMAN: I know, sweetheart
but it’s time to say bye-bye and go home
BABY JENNY HOLZER: DONT
WANT
TO GO
WOMAN: we have to get home
BABY JENNY HOLZER: [throws herself down on ground] DONT WANNA DONT WANNA DONT WANNA
WOMAN: young lady, you get up this instant or I will pick you up and carry you to the car
is that what you want?
BABY JENNY HOLZER: IT TAKES A WHILE BEFORE YOU CAN STEP OVER INERT BODIES AND GO AHEAD WITH WHAT YOU WERE TRYING TO DO
I’m crying.
The NYPL was selling a whole line of cards with Holzer red bars and white type over old photographs except it was all bland inspirational messages like hang in there baby and I got all sad.
It was like @JennyHolzerMom but not nearly as clever or in on the joke. Sigh.
Hi you have summoned the feminist text art pedant!
I believe the artist you’re thinking of is Barbara Kruger. I also am super over seeing her iconic red bar/white text thing used to sell disappointing things. Last time I saw it it was for Forever 21.
I think you might be thinking of Barbara Kruger? Regardless, that makes me feel all sad too.
I stand corrected!
now that I’ve heard of @JennyHolzerMom, I will accomplish nothing today!
Pretty sure all babies are Jenny Holzers, we’re just too dim to understand.
Definitely read ‘Jenny Holzer’ as Jenny Schechter until I recognized the quotes. Possibly the same thing?
I DID THIS TOO
this might be my favorite thus far.
this might be my favorite thus far.
love love love this
Leonard Cohen AND Jenny Holzer. I <3<3 you the Toast!
The "hang on, is she going?" part is my favoritest. There are so many moments in life that would be improved by that interruption. I want to carry Baby Jenny Holzer with me everywhere.
I BLOODY LOVE JENNY HOLZER THANKYOU
“Some days you wake and immediately start to worry. Nothing in particular is wrong, it’s just the suspicion that forces are aligning quietly and there will be trouble.”
So you start screaming bloody murder even though it’s 3:30 in the morning until mommy and daddy finally get up out of bed and pick you up and try to figure out what is wrong but you keep crying anyway. Or something like that.
Woman: Who’s the cutest baby? You are! Yes! You!
Baby Jenny Holzer: LACK OF CHARISMA CAN BE FATAL.
Full disclosure: as a teenager, I had that truism painted over my bedroom window.
I was a little odd.
Who am I kidding with the “was”?
Baby Jenny Holzer is everything I didn’t know I needed on this Wednesday morning. Thank you!