Poetry Christina Rossetti’s “Goblin Market,” As I Understand It
I don't understand it, is the joke.
Mallory Ortberg
Poetry 
Poetry Lord Byron’s “Fare Thee Well,” or “I Just Think It’s Funny How”
It's fine! We do not have to talk about it again! I have stuff I could SAY, obviously, but we don't have to.
Television Questions I Have Asked During The Only Episode Of Doctor Who I Have Ever Seen Until My Friend Said “Okay, Mallory, Why Don’t You Write Your Questions Down And Ask Them All After We’re Done Watching?”
Why would anyone ever watch television with me, history's greatest monster
Humor Joan Didion and Anna Wintour: Best Friends Forever
Joananna Wididiontour? Annoan Wintidion.
Relationships Harvard Magazine Personal Advertisements’ Many Synonyms For “Rich” or “Thin”
The trimmest widow of all seeks a man who's allowed to use the business-class lav.
Advice Go On, Get Out Of Here
Can't you tell when you're not wanted anymore?
Art Portraits Of “The Wrath Of Achilles” That Just Make Me Wanna Cuddle Him
The wrath of Achilles is adorable and petulant!
Art Paintings Of The Torture Of Prometheus Where It Actually Looks Like The Eagle Assigned To Tear Out His Liver Is His New Boyfriend
The punishment of Prometheus (he was chained to a rock and had his eternally-regenerating liver torn out by an eagle every day) has always been a popular topic for Western artists, and why not; it's full of action poses and furious birds and gave everyone the chance to draw hands. A real win-win! And yet: Over time, folks got a little sloppy, and eventually, more often than not, Prometheus and the eagle looked like boyfriends on the cover of a supernatural-themed gay romance novel.
Music Annotating Dean Martin’s “Gentle On My Mind,” The Greatest Work Of Art Produced By The 1960s
Watch a man perform a song he has clearly forgotten was next on the set list.
Books Children’s Stories Made Horrific: The Magic Schoolbus
Take chances, make mistakes, get messy.
Television The Final Fry and Laurie Friday: Young Tory Of The Year
I make no standards, vast family law, and why not sloppy corporal God punishment individual decent spongers wishy-washy trendy family crime Michael values.
Books How To Tell If You Are In A Regency-Era Novel Written After The End Of The Regency
Those were nine action-packed years!
Books Alternate Endings To Great Expectations
The numerous unpublished endings to "Great Expectations."
Art “The Ant and the Grasshopper” Is Proof That Art Doesn’t Work
What.
Religion Bible Verses Where “Truly I Say To You” Has Been Replaced With “Can I Be Honest For A Minute Here?”
Jesus replied, ‘Can I be honest with you for a minute? Today you will be with me in Paradise.’
