Carmen Maria Machado has written for for The New Yorker, The Paris Review, The Hairpin, The Rumpus, and VICE. She has the entirety of Milo and Otis memorized, tweets as @carmenmmachado, and lives in Philadelphia with her girlfriend.
(With apologies to the good people doing good work at the Cleveland Clinic.) No Color: Probably you shouldn’t be playing that drinking game at work, that game where every time your boss makes you want to down a martini you leave your desk instead and go to the water fountain, filling your environmentally-friendly aluminum bottle while you count to ten and imagine a cornucopia of violent deaths, a whirring, churning food processor of possibilities…