Here it is: there is no cream, wash, toner, serum, vibrating brush, or whatever that will help your skin. That’s the truth. Deal with it.
When I worked at cosmetic counters in department stores, I would always, always get people asking for the creams that really worked. Like we were co-conspirators; “don’t give me that fake shit you give to all the other customers,” they seemed to be saying, “you can trust me with the real deal.”
I always, always, always struggled with this aspect of the cosmetics industry. There are those who would like you to believe that all makeup and cosmetics is bullshit, and that’s just not true. If your goal is to paint your lips a different colour, makeup will accomplish this. If you want to achieve the illusion of thicker eyelashes, there are products that will do just that. But there is absolutely no product on earth that will reverse wrinkles, undo sun damage, permanently moisturize dry skin, or (most offensively of all) change or lighten your skin tone. Sorry not sorry.
I am lying a little bit. Let me back up. As a makeup artist, a big part of my job was dealing with people’s privately held beliefs, insecurities, fears, and hopes regarding makeup and cosmetics in general. There were people who put too much hope into buying a new product, convinced of its ability to change their entire life, and then there are people who approach makeup artists and cosmetics counters with the same enthusiasm that they approach car salesman and other purveyors of snake oil. It wears on you.
Skin care is a tricky place for a makeup artist. Unless you’ve also been trained as an aesthetician, you’re not really qualified to give advice or make recommendations. But as a makeup artist, you need the best canvas possible to appropriately do your job. I found myself becoming a kind of de facto facialist, dispensing what little knowledge I had to customers and clients to treat their various skin complaints.
The problem is this: there’s a commonly held belief that somewhere out there is a cream that will do exactly what it promises to do. “This is the one,” skin care companies are fond of saying. “We’ve finally perfected the technology.” And the assumption is that the previous creams that failed to work just didn’t have this new scientific breakthrough, and if you buy this one and apply it exactly as directed, you’ll achieve surgery-level results, and everyone will be jealous.
And if it didn’t work? Well, you probably didn’t follow the instructions properly. Remember a few weekends ago when you came home so drunk that you only half-assedly took off your makeup and accidentally applied the serum AFTER the moisturizer? That’s why the product isn’t working, is the implication. It’s your own fault. Not Oil of Olay’s.
The logic breakdown that occurs here just murders me. Let’s say this cream did exist. There is no fucking way that this cream would exist and remain an “underground” secret. If such a product existed, we’d all be using it. I would be FIRST in line to get whatever product is going to keep me in an acne-less version of the skin I had when I was sixteen, duh, I’m not made of stone.
Secondly, there’s a problem with a very basic understanding of the way skin works. The layer that can be treated externally is just that–an external layer. You cannot correct a problem that begins on the inside by exclusively treating the outside. If you have wrinkles, that is likely the result of a combination of genetics and sun damage; there is no cream that can be applied to your DNA. There are scalpels and lasers and injections. You cannot smoothe a wrinkle with serum.
Other solutions similarly have to start from within. There was one counter I worked at–let’s call it Blestee Blauder–renowned for their lines of wrinkle creams and serums. Women would approach the counter and ask which one was best for their particular brand of wrinkle. Nothing. The answer was none of them. You know what works? Water, sleep, leafy greens, and staying away from the sun and cigarettes. Everything that sucks the fun out of life will prevent wrinkles. The rest is just a glycerin mixture.
Allow me to display some of the classic double-talk that pervades the cosmetic industry: none of what I just said means you should stop using skin care products. What I’m proposing is to change the way you think about your skin care products. You have very basic needs that must be addressed: cleanliness, hygiene, and protection. Everything after that might be, literally, snake oil. Here is what you must actually do to appropriately take care of your skin.
1. Wash it. I mean, obviously. But you’re not washing it to fix a problem – a cream cleanser will not fix dry skin, for example. If you have dry skin, a cream cleanser is the most appropriate way to remove the oil that builds up while you sleep and go about your day. It also will remove pollution and other gross things that your skin cells get attached to as you move through this smoggy jungle planet we call home. You must keep the surface of your skin as clean as possible to allow for healthy skin cells, but the product only treats this problem for ten hours max. There will never be a face wash that treats acne so effectively it eliminates the need for itself. There will only ever be a face wash that keeps your oil and dirt levels under manageable control for a set amount of hours, no matter what Bleutrogena tries to tell you.
2. Tone it. Or don’t. Whatever. Toner is a disputed zone for me. I use toner every single morning and have found if I don’t use it, I break out. A toner, when used properly, removes the residue left by the cleanser and any dirt the cleanser failed to pick up. It’s an added level of clean, for sure, but I’ve always secretly suspected it to be bullshit. I mean, if you’re cleaning your face, and then using a toner to remove leftover cleanser from your face, shouldn’t you also need a toner to remove the leftover toner from your face? It seems like a who-polices-the-police sort problem to me, but for your epidermis. I suppose a good toner will leave behind something that’s actually beneficial for your pores? In any case, a toner has been proven to keep my skin more or less clear. So, take that information for what it’s worth.
3. Treat acne. Sure. Ok. Yes. I use an acne spot treatment. I have no idea if it works. It’s a mixture that’s as close to 100% salicylic acid as you’re allowed to buy over the counter. Sometimes it seems like it clears up the zit immediately and other times it does nothing for weeks. Again, I must stress–this has nothing to do with the zit cream itself. The effectiveness of the zit cream is determined by the zit itself. Typing zit is really satisfying, for some reason? Anyways, if the zit is mostly surface, a salicylic acid formula will be able to penetrate (heh) and break up the oil and gunk and reduce the appearance of the zit tout de suite. If it’s a deep motherfucker, you’re going to need to get like a drill or something down there. Extract it like you’re Daniel Day-Lewis in There Will Be Blood. It could be a sequel where his great-great-great-granddaughter works as a facialist and is consumed by their desire to profit from popping pus out of faces like her great-great-great-grandfather did with oil and dirt. That’s a freebie for you, film executives reading this. Zits are also, to get all Gwyneth on you, largely connected to the quality of foods we’re eating and liquids we’re drinking. For a while, I went through a breakfast cereal phase because it was easy (and nutritious! She said as she cashed her cheque from the cereal lobby), but the milk made me break out around my chin and jaw line. When I’m eating well and drinking water and working out, my skin is the best. When I’m drinking Slurpees and eating burgers and lazing in the park, my skin is the worst. My body is a judgmental dick like that, and yours might be too.
4. Serums? I do not use serums, really. I got one for free at Sephora, and sometimes I use it, sometimes I don’t. But actually it may surprise you to discover that I do believe in serums – I just can’t afford them. They are the most expensive out of all skin care products, allegedly because they deliver the most potent ingredients in precisely the right way. I have seen friends who have had extremely excellent responses to serums, but again, these are excellent SURFACE responses. Serums will improve the APPEARANCE of wrinkles or whatever they’re promising to do. If you stop using the serum, the APPEARANCE will get worse. It will deliver very potent ingredients in precisely the right way to the SURFACE of your skin, but it cannot change your actual skin. I feel like a broken record here.
5. Moisturize. I firmly believe in moisturizing, yes, this is not hypocritical of me, no. Moisturizing will not change anything about your skin. Let’s go back to dry skin as an example. If you have dry skin on your face, there is no moisturizer in the world that will change this – but there are moisturizers that will provide moisture and relieve dryness for a few hours, enough so that you can get on with your day until you repeat this whole process before going to sleep. Sometimes I talk to friends who don’t believe moisturizing does anything because their skin reverts back to its original state once the moisture wears off. To me, that’s like saying drinking water doesn’t do anything because you pee it out eventually and you have to keep drinking more to stay hydrated. It’s the exact same concept. Drinking water will keep you hydrated as long as you’re doing it; likewise, moisturizers will moisturize the skin as long as you’re continuously applying it.
A moisturizer is really good for one thing, and it’s not keeping your skin moisturized. A moisturizer should be a barrier between your skin and the rest of the world–makeup and sun, primarily. Applying a moisturizer with SPF 30 will block the sun on a normal day spent inside an office. Applying a moisturizer will provide a smooth surface for your makeup AND prevent your pores from soaking up too much of a heavy makeup cream consistency that tends to create acne or dullness. I do use a moisturizer with Vitamin E, but I have no idea if that really makes a difference or not. Moisturizer should be protective and preventative. Repeat this with me: use your daytime moisturizer as a barrier, not a balm. That’s a freebie for you, cosmetics marketing executives.
Your nighttime moisturizer? I don’t know. I use the same moisturizer day and night, but again, that has more to do with cheapness than with opinion. I think your skin has different needs while you sleep. I produce more oil when I sleep, like most people, so a lighter moisturizer might be in order; other people might experience drier skin, especially with artificial heating and air conditioning systems, so a thicker moisturizer would be in order. Again, it’s to TREAT a problem, not to CURE a problem.
6. Masks, Exfoliators, Clarisonics, etc. I exfoliate twice a week: Mondays and Thursdays. I use an exfoliater that’s quite minty and has some caffeine in it. It’s supposed to “perk up” the skin, but really, that’s a placebo effect caused by the minty smell. I use it on Mondays when I’m like “ugh I can’t believe this is a time of day I’m awake I hate everyone” because the minty smell puts me in a good mood; I have no idea why. When I first became a full-time freelancer I ran out and couldn’t afford to replace it for about four months. My skin did not change, but my Monday mood was markedly worse. Make of that what you will.
I use a mask twice a week. It’s a thick black peel-off mask that claims to be “brightening”. It does make my skin look more even – for about a day. I use this mask to remove a layer of dead skin and provide deeper exfoliation. It helps with the appearance of my skin, and it seems to be keeping my acne under control, but that will stop as soon as I stop using the mask for too long. I came to this product highly recommended by a friend, but didn’t buy it because it was too expensive; now I love it and dread the day I run out of it. It’s an integral part of my Sunday self-care routine and also it freaks my boyfriend right the fuck out when he’s around to see me peeling it off. Win-win-win.
I really want a Clarisonic thing. I don’t know why. I don’t really know what it does or why it’s different, but here’s something I do know: most runway makeup artists give models a facial massage before applying their makeup. By increasing the flow of blood in their faces, the skin appears healthier, plumper, glowier, all that weird good stuff that no makeup product can ever fake. I think vibrating face wash things have the same effect on your skin–it makes the blood circulate better and gives the appearance of health and vitality. So, I want it. But of course that could be some pseudo-science bullshit.
There are some things that are good for your skin that have absolutely nothing to do with skin care. They are:
1. Sweating. Sweating is the best thing for your skin. (GOOD – Ed.) (UGH – other Ed.)That seems so counterintuitive, I know, but really, nothing is as beneficial than getting yourself dripping in sweat. I would take a spin class and 10 minutes in the sauna over a facial any day. Follow it up with a cold shower and join me in bliss.
2. Water. Duh. Oh my god. Drink water. I’ve met people who say they don’t like the taste of water and when I am queen they will be first against the wall. Seriously, drink enough so that your pee is pale yellow and your skin will be great. Water, as we know, will transform your digestive system into mother-of-pearl and cause grown men to sink to their knees when you pass.
3. Green vegetables and other healthy-type foods. I don’t know, what else can I say about this? Your body likes vegetables. Your body hates a lot of more delicious things. If you feed your body things it doesn’t like, it will rebel like a snotty teenager and do the body equivalent of stealing your favorite purse and spilling Smirnoff Ice over it, and you’ll be like “why wasn’t I born an only child” only instead of your purse it will be your face and instead of Smirnoff Ice it will be zits and stuff.
4. Sunscreen. Wear it. You know why. Reapply it appropriately. Bye.
Here are some caveats:
If you have really bad cystic acne, there are definitely products that will help you. What worked for your friend will probably not work for you; you need a real dermatologist and you need a lot of trial and error, but there are chemicals out there that will blast that shit right out of your pores. Of course, until your hormones even out, you will be dependent on those products to keep it clear. Non-hormonal and hormonal treatments are available. I am not a doctor, I am just a beauty school dropout with an inflated sense of self. Go to a real doctor please.
I do know of a product that does legitimately prevent wrinkles. It also appeared to reduce the appearance of existing wrinkles quite drastically. The results I saw on friends and co-workers were nothing short of actual witchcraft. When I first started working at this counter, I was converted; a die-hard true believer, convinced I had found that Holy Grail.
HOWEVER. My turning point came when I was working alone at a counter and a woman approached to buy this magical product. She had read about it in a magazine and was prepared to spend several hundred dollars to own the complete package of serum, daytime moisturizer, and nighttime moisturizer. Right before I rang her up–a purchase that would have gotten me a substantial commission, I feel obliged to tell you–she stopped to tell me she was four months pregnant. “Do you think it’s safe for the baby?” she asked. I could not in good conscience tell her yes. The ingredients in this product could drill a hole through a car engine. To be less dramatic, the ingredients were about as dangerous as serious bleach-blonde hair dye, which pregnant women are generally warned against. I told her to ask her doctor before buying and she never came back.
I’m not saying this product is harmful enough to actually hurt a fetus! I’m saying I DID NOT KNOW. And when you DON’T KNOW, I think it’s generally safest to err on the side of, “if this product produces magical responses and there is no ingredient with less than seven syllables, you probably don’t want it around a fetus.” Right? I’M NOT A DOCTOR THOUGH. DO WHAT YOU WANT. YOUR BODY YOUR CHOICE. I’M JUST TELLING YOU THIS ANECDOTE BECAUSE IT WAS A BIG TURNING POINT FOR ME PERSONALLY.
A lot of what we consider to be good skin has nothing to do with actual good skin. Good skin is generally supposed to be clear, even, smooth, all that sort of conventional bullshit. There are elements at play with good skin that have nothing to do with your skin: lighting is a big one (another article on that forthcoming) and hormones are another. I hope I’ve opened your eyes to all the different ways the skin care industry is bullshit and that you still want to be friends. Drink a glass of water now. Bye.
Next up: In which we learn how to match foundation tones, and chat with makeup artists of color about their secrets and dreams.
(Images courtesy of Vintage Ad Browser)
Haley Mlotek is the publisher of WORN Fashion Journal. Her writing has appeared in WORN (obviously), as well as Hazlitt and The Hairpin. She believes in reading, writing, and red lipstick.
Tags: loose threads, never mind she told me and now we can no longer afford to pay contributors sorry, wait wait haley what is the magical product?, worn fashion journal, you don’t know my life
. . . I just now, in the course of reading this article, became dramatically more afraid of turning 30 than I had been.
30 was so great! Don’t be afraid!
I’m right on the cusp, and I’ve been focusing on the idea of ageing gracefully, which is possible, versus not aging, which is not.
I will allow myself wrinkles, but they need to be the ones that make me look jolly, as if I am constantly smiling/laughing. Gray/white hair is encouraged, because the contrast with my dark hair will look cool, and when there is enough of it I am dying it pink or blue or purple. Also, I’m trying to cultivate the “I’m an old lady, so I’m cool as shit, and don’t give a fuck” attitude, which is really the best accessory anyone can have.
Aw, you guys.
I am not actually afraid at all, except insofar as aging requires me to do and know about things I had never previously had to think about, a la Mallory’s article yesterday about body parts breaking down on us. Skincare is one of those things I’ve only ever thought about to avoid sunburn. Having to think about maintaining elasticity and shit freaks me out.
But yeah, actually turning 30 does not scare me, nor does aging in general. I plucked a white hair from my head yesterday and was merely psyched to discover I will be turning white like my grandma, and not gray. Gray is harder to pull off when you’re a dirty blond.
BE NOT AFRAID.
Being over 30 is the literal best and no one can tell how old you are anyways. Seriously.
As someone at 31: It’s great. Absolutely awesome. It’s not that you stop getting older (you don’t), it’s more that you give less of a fuck about it. I feel far more confident and happy about my life in my 30s than I did in my 20s.
When I turned 30, I magically stopped giving a shit what anyone else thought of or expected for me. I’m not sure how this happened so fully and drastically, but it’s been amazing. I have no fucks left to give for other people judging me and maybe it makes me a huge dork, but I’m too old to worry about them. To paraphrase Eric Cartman. I’m 31. Whatever, whatever, I do what I want.
I know this is so not the point, but I can’t help myself, please forgive me – what is this magical product??
Seriously! Just give us a hint, and we will sniff it out!
I am going to guess it was something with glycolic acid in it. A la: http://www.amazon.com/La-Therapie-Glycolic-Demaqu…
It sounds like a retinoid or a metaphor for the cost of beauty.
I would guess a retinoid. Those are the only products that actually do reverse minor wrinkles (though the strongest ones require prescription). And I can imagine it being dangerous for a baby, as Accutane, which is a strong retinoid taken internally, is incredibly dangerous for fetal development and does pretty crazy things even to adults.
Oh man. Acutane is scary sh*t–I’d stay clear of anything even related. Good friend of mine was prescribed too high a dose, lost his mind, and killed himself. That stuff terrifies me.
Probably Retin-A (prescription). Read any blogs/articles out there and that is the gold standard that all skin therapist/dermatologist/plastic surgeons swear by. Clinical data to support that it does help soften fine lines, smooth skin texture, help clear acne, initiate collagen production. No matter what new fad ingredient is the rage this season, Retin-A is still the go to wrinkle fighter. Damn most insurance companies for not covering this prescription for women past their 20s. They know it works and they don’t want women to be asking for it and paying for it.
I’m so glad this is a series! Also, every time I was like “now wait a second” in response to something in the article, I read a little further and my concerns were allayed. (What can I say, I have bad acne and equally strong feelings about the products that help me.) I like that in an article.
Also, excellent tags!
And I just read the About Author section and the line “‘Loose Threads’ appears on The Toast every other Tuesday” provoked two responses from me:
1. I do not want to wait two weeks to learn about foundation matching!
2. Wait a second, today’s not Tuesday.
Yeah, that is weird!
I basically do almost everything wrong and am generally not willing to change my habits / add to my routine / buy more stuff in order to do things right. So my skin will continue to look like hell for the rest of my life.
But I have a question about moisturizers. I’ve gone through phases where I wear it and am currently in a phase where I don’t. My skin is very oily, and when I wear a moisturizer, the oil/moisturizer seeps into my eyes by the evening and it burns like the dickens. Sometimes that happens with my natural oils, which also burns, but not as badly and not as often. ETA: I just realize I never actually asked a question. I guess my question is WTF?
The question is always WTF. The answer is always I don’t even KNOW.
Why does having not-gross skin have to be so HARD?
Try an “all natural” brand that has fewer chemicals in it? (I won’t say none, I’m pretty sure there’s still some).
I generally use Aveeno skin care products, which aren’t entirely natural but they’re more gentle and natural than a lot of other stuff. But there’s probably something better. Wegmans has a whole section of “natural” personal care products that I’ve never examined.
I’m really digging the Burt’s Bees moisturizers right now, especially the sensitive skin one that has cotton extracts.
It does not, however, have SPF, which…I live in Denver, so I’m being dumb.
My grocery store has an extensive Burt’s bees section but I’ve never really checked it out.
I tell myself that not wearing something with SPF is okay most days because I hide indoors because of heat and depression. The drive to and from work is pretty much the only time I’m exposed, and it’s not a long commute. (You don’t have to tell me I’m wrong, because I know I am.)
Well, so am I, because I do the same thing. Except I’m out in the sun for my public transportation commute and, on the weekends, running around with my kid. But all the sunscreen-y stuff smells terrible and feels heavy to me, so…I dunno, basically.
Aveeno has some pretty light SPF moisturizers with faint not-sunscreeny scents.
seconding the Burt’s Bees! There is a cream cleanser that contains I think chamomile- while it doesn’t cure oily skin (of course), it gives that nice minty feeling that is the perfect, if temporary, remedy to my usual yucky oily skin feeling.
Try Kiehl’s Abyssine moisturizer. It has SPF and it absorbs well but keeps you moisturized even though it’s dry as hell. (I live in Santa Fe, so similar climate to Denver.) oooor you can always add SPF to your favorite, non SPF brand.
You might like rice paper sheets. They are originally a Japanese thing, I think, but you can buy them at Sephora. Basically, they are very thin little sheets of paper that will soak up your skin oils for you. You can dab them on your skin anywhere it’s shiny, and they just pick the oils right up.
They are also packaged in extraordinarily attractive ways often. So I will be a little bit jealous if this works for you since I bought some ages ago and have never had an excuse to buy more since I haven never run out — I don’t have super-oily skin and don’t reeally need them. But it sounds like they are ideal for you! Very low-tech, no chemicals, plus the feeling of daintiness as you dot your face with impossibly thin squares of rice paper.
I’ve heard of them! They sound great, but since I don’t wear makeup I don’t think they’re necessary for me. Plus, I’m cheap. Wiping my face with free paper restaurant napkins, sleeves, and squares of toilet paper works just fine, and I don’t see myself buying a special product that costs more to accomplishes the same task. I’d just rather I didn’t produce so much oil in the first place.
ETA: And I’m not going to pretend to be dainty, because nothing else about me is. 😉
I use them (super-cheap non-pretty versions from Sephora) a lot when I’m not wearing makeup. I think it’s more about the oil and less about the makeup?
Oh, okay. I thought it was supposed to be better for gently dabbing because you don’t want to wipe when you’re wearing makeup. Anyway, I would probably just continue to use what I’m using since it works just fine. The issue isn’t so much absorbing the oil, it’s that I wish I wasn’t producing so much of it in the first place.
You can get way cheaper ones at Ulta. 😉
could be — I’ve never seen an Ulta store before. Don’t think they exist where I am. Whereas Sephora has conquered several continents by now…for better or worse…
Jason’s 82% Aloe moisturizer cream is my magic moisturizer. My mother has used it for over a decade, and after trying everything else under the sun both my sister and I gave up and started buying it. We thought my mother was just being cheap (because it’s super cheap) but it turns out it really is awesome.
Cheap and awesome? I’m sold! (as long as the fragrance doesn’t irritate my sensitive nose, but it sounds like this will be okay)
It’s unscented, so it has only a faint aloe-type smell. Hopefully that will work for you! Make sure you get the cream in the pot where the aloe has been mixed with almond oil and rosehip oil and a few other things, they sell a gel in a pump bottle that’s just straight aloe that does nothing for me.
Oh, I’m glad you said that, because I probably would have have gone for the gel specifically for the pump bottle.
I also have very oily skin, and I finally found a super light La Roche Posay moisturizer that I apply in tiniest amounts after I shower and while my face is still damp (the dampness helps the moisturizer spread and I don’ t have to use a bigger – i.e. eventually greasier – amount). My favourite sunscreen, however, still melts by the end of the day and burns my eyes. No solutions there except to take another shower when you get home.
I apply it after my shower for the same reason, and also to lock in the moisture. As it is I just wipe my eyes/forehead with tissues or my sleeve a lot.
I always apply moisturizers, and my eyes often burn and leak by the end of the day. I was assuming it was my mascara, but maybe it’s my lotion? Hmmm. Something to think about.
Would slapping a primer on first help at all maybe?
Maybe? What’s a primer?
Basically it gives stuff you put on your face something to grip. I have one that I use for eyeshadow, keeps my eyelids from getting all sweaty and sliding off the makeup. I have no idea how they actually work.
How are primers on acne?
I haven’t had any issues with mine, and my skin typically freaks out if you look at it funny. I only use it rarely, though, so I can’t speak to daily use.
Haha, mine too. I’ll consider it. I would probably only use it rarely too though, because I’m all about simple daily routines. Even putting on moisturizer is a little much for me, so the idea of doing both is probably just wishful thinking. But if it makes a big difference maybe that will encourage me.
Is your skin sensitive? I second the use of primers, but check the ingredients – most primers contain silicone, so if that’s a problem for you (it’s fairly common), just be aware of that and read the ingredients label before purchasing.
My recommendation for eyeshadow primer – limecrime eyeshadow helper. Amazing.
Thanks for the heads-up. It’s somewhat sensitive. AFAIK the only place I’ve used silicone-based products is…well, let’s just say it’s nowhere near my face. 😉
I haven’t found a primer that doesn’t make me break out something terrible and I have pretty tough face skin.
ETA; I probably have issues with the silicone, so that’s something to be cognizant of and test out on a small area first.
this happens to me with any and all types of sunblock, waterproof is a lie, i will be weeping it out of my eyes by 2pm. i have begun to carry a linen handkerchief around, victorian-lady-like, and dab at my eyes when i start to feel the sting. classy, no?
That is totally classy. I usually wipe my eyes with my t-shirt sleeves. 😉
I just bought a handkerchief (with an embroidered bulldog on it!) for this exact reason. I wish I had thought of this/time-traveled to see your comment years ago!
Try Neutrogena’s expensive brand. It’s the only one I’ve ever found that doesn’t make my eyes water. Your eyes may be different than mine, but hey, see if it works for you too.
yeah, I put on a TON of sunscreen with a fairly high SPF whenever I’m planning to spend any time in the sun, because i live in frigging florida.
naturally, i live in frigging florida and the humidity makes me sweaty like whoa and it doesn’t take long for the sunscreen to drip into my eyes along with the sweat and face oils and AUGH THE BURNING. i’m also somewhat photophobic so my eyes are already hurting from the bright light, even with my sunglasses? it’s horrible, basically.
my solution is just to keep a washrag in my bag and use it to blot my forehead/cheeks/neck as I get sweaty, and reapply sunscreen as needed. it’s like an old-fashioned handkerchief, but more absorbent and if I keep it next to my icy waterbottle in my bag, it’s nice and cool, too. my sister dunks them in soapy water and carries them in a ziplock baggie (she actually takes several around, especially if she’s going to be running).
when i get home, i just dump the washrag into the laundry hamper with my other towels.
it doesn’t explain wtf, but it’s a solution that works for me.
Dude, where were you when I was camping for 6 days in the sun and heat? That’s brilliant! Next time I will keep a washrag in the cooler. 🙂
The soft-roughness of the washrag tends to feel really good on my sweaty skin, too, fwiw. It’s like it feels more like it’s removing all the sweat and dirt than a soft handkerchief, but it’s a lot softer than a recycled materials napkin from a fast food joint.
I was so excited when I came up with this solution that I told my sister, and found out that she had independently come up with the same thing, only hers includes the soapy water soak first. I even took the washrag when she and I did a sisters’ day at the park and shopping, and it saved me when I dripped ice cream on my boobs. So, you know, multipurpose! 😀
Haha, multipurpose is always good. 🙂
Ehh I’m really oily too and I have the same problem. It SOUNDS counterproductive and the oil cleansing evangelists are just SO WEIRD, but I’ve been using a mixture of a nice light olive oil and some essential oils that’s turned out great. I didn’t choose them for effectiveness I just chose them because they smelled nice. idk idk TRY THAT MAYBE
I tried olive oil cleansing for awhile and it didn’t really make a difference. It smelled nice, though!
I had that problem and found that gels like this one didn’t seep into my eyes. Now I am old and my skin is like the sahara, so it might not be a problem for you forever!
Wow, I didn’t even know they made such a thing!
I’m 39 and producing enough oil to power a biodiesel engine, so I’m thinking it might be a problem for me forever, or at least for a long time. On the plus side, when I’m old maybe I’ll still look young. 😉
If you don’t wear make-up, maybe you could just keep some of those facial cleansing cloths in your bag and wipe off your whole face at a mid-point in the day? Or wash your face and re-moisturize if your workplace bathroom is conducive to this? I have oily skin and would totally do this, but I wear make-up and really don’t want to bother with re-applying.
I used to think I had oily skin. Then I had a real facial done by a professional. Turns out my skin was dry, and over washing it caused my sebum/ oils to reproduce like crazy. Basically, I’d recommend investing in a facial, and also, moisturizer. Skin is tricky, it has a PH balance that gets f’d up when you wash it. So basically cream cleanser, moisturize. You’re welcome.
– Someone who used to be like you.
I see your Radiohead quote and I like it. Also, I like this article. It is not nearly as mean as it says on the tin!
I, too, would like to know what this magical anti-wrinkle product is, as well as the brand of the thick, peel-off mask. I have always wanted to sport a cold cream mask a la the hanger scene in Mommy Dearest, but my skin would probably erupt in protestation (more than my usual hormone-y self) since I’m already a ball o’ oil. Basically, this column is badass, but I am a product whore and would like product recommendations from wise Haley.
This is a guess, but I’ve never heard of another black colored peel off mask besides this one! http://www.sephora.com/luminizing-black-mask-P266…
Dammit all those reviews are making me want it.
‘Luminosity’ claims aside, it sounds really satisfying to use.
yesssss. I have a Sephora giftcard left over from my birthday and I think I’m going to be spending it on this.
I love it. Aside from probably making my skin look slightly better, it makes you look like Papa Lazarou from The League of Gentlemen. When I’m wearing it I often creep around my house hissing “you’re my wife now” to random objects. Much better than bog standard bog-monster green shit.
omg stuff with charcoal in it is THE BEST, especially if you have oily skin. The best cleanser I ever bought was from Japan and was made out from charcoal. Unfortuantely here in North America charcoal cleanser seems to be ridiculously expensive though?
WHAT IS THE MAGIC PRODUCT?!? I feel like my skin needs more engine-drilling chemicals slapped on it.
I KNOW. The lines under my eyes that used to just appear when I had a bad nights sleep now appear to be permanent. I’m only 26!
This is one of the best beauty things I think I’ve ever read on the internet.
I am thrilled that sweating is good for you, at least I can rest assured that my constantly glistening face is doing SOMETHING right.
While I appreciate beauty article finally not trying to get me to buy something, please tell me what to buy! What kind of exfoliater seems to be most effective, a grainy scrub? maybe soap and a scrub brush? some gunk you leave on for 15 minutes then wipe off? my skin is you typical combination skin with an oily “t-zone”, dry elsewhere and what not, please halp.
Also the best thing that ever happened to my skin: graduating, suddenly when I wasn’t sitting at a desk leaning on my hands all the time (falling asleep) my chin and jawline cleared up, who’d have thunk it.
There with you on the 2nd paragraph!
I get little bumpy bits on my jaw because that is where my hair rests – I’ve noticed that if I wear my hair up for a couple of days, the bumpy bits go away! Sometimes it’s not your moisturiser that causing your pimples, it’s your hair product/not washing your hands enough!
This was super service-y, thank you!
Also, I can second that that Boscia black mask is pure motherfucking gold. Every so often my skin just gets extra grumpy with me (patchy, bumpy, acne-y) and a little time with the black mask clears that shit right up. I suppose it would be better if I used it weekly, but it’s too expensive for me to do that, so I go on an as-needed basis.
Ooh, good to know. Although the image results for that product are very, very disturbing.
I am 100% in favor of this beauty coverage. I use a lot of products right now, and I go through phases of being pleased with them and phases of going “all of this is bullshit.” I had to consciously decide that I am okay with my greasy, big-pored, cloggy, lightly-zitted, sun-damaged skin. No one scrutinizes it like I do, anyway.
About toner, here is a good little rundown: http://www.paulaschoice.com/expert-advice/skin-ca…. I am super into Paula’s Choice because the purveyor is basically a consumer advocate for all things makeup and skincare related, and has been calling bullshit on products for YEARS. They have their own products but still review and heartily recommend thousands of others.
When I saw the title of this post, I thought it might have something to do with the way LUSH employees are trained to insult their customers. Last time I was in one–which was about three years ago, because I vowed never to return–four different staffpersons walked up to me and asked if I’d like to talk about my “skin issues” with them.
I actually have genetically awesome skin, now and at the time of LUSH’s insinuations, but I used to have an allergy that turned the bottom half of my face into raw meat. For, like, a year and a half. I tried everything–egg yolks, stream treatments, steroids. Nothing worked except going to a dermatologist, getting diagnosed with my actual problem, and eliminating mint and cheap makeup from my face’s diet.
So all I could do is laugh at them.
That sucks! I went to a Lush maybe half a year ago and nobody insulted me. They just asked me what my skin was like and then I got to point to my broken out face and tell them it was acne-prone.
No mint!! I’m so sorry for your loss.
Aw man, that makes me really sad. I worked at Lush a few years back, and I absolutely loved it–but at least at my branch we were all trained to let the customers have their space and only respond to concerns the customers themselves bring up, should they want help in the first place. Presupposing that someone is unhappy with any part of herself is the height of presumption and rudeness. I’m so sorry that everybody there was super crappy and I completely understand/agree with why you would never go back.
This is so relevant and timely to my interests. I went on a “skin care regime” binge two days ago, getting all sorts of shit from the drug store that I have no idea how or if it works, with my mother’s voice echoing in my head: “Don’t wait until you’re 28 to give a shit about your skin! Wriiiiiiiinkles! Moisturiiiiizeeeer!” Whoops, sorry Mom.
But seriously, most of the time, starting when I was young enough to supposed to be learning the difference between a mask and pore-unclogging rinse off cream or whatevs, I haven’t given a shit! My skin is pretty good, I guess, (though blackheads, big pores, FRECKLES) and that made me complacent and justified in being disdainful of the whole thing.
This article though: made me feel better about both not giving a shit, and trying to have a “beauty regimen”. I’d really like to be a person with a skin care routine, and this will help, but also maybe, hey, fuck it.
What’s wrong with freckles? I love them and reject any make up product that eliminates them.
Me too, in a way. I think my freckles are rad, but at this point, I neither burn nor tan in the sun, I freckle even harder. So there’s a lot of them and they make my skin look “blotchier” than anything else ever could. Finding a foundation or powder that does what it’s supposed to with other face-colors but doesn’t fake-cover my freckles so they look like brownish pimples coming through has been impossible. I gave up wearing any at all for years, until I bought some Bare Essentials a few weeks ago. Still not sure if I like it.
Okay but what is the amount of water I need to drink SPECIFICALLY, like what is the baseline, because I think I already weird my coworkers out by how many times I go to the bathroom today but I’m willing to be weirder. Also green tea–does it count as water?
Most bodies can absorb about a pint of water an hour. So anymore than that is just upping your trips to the bathroom for no good reason. I believe 64 oz of water a day used to be the standard, but also I have read things saying that’s nonsense and too much? But I still believe it. So 4 16 oz glasses of water, at least an hour apart, is, I believe what you should be doing. Plus more if it’s hot out/you’re working out/etc.
(I’m a little bit of a hydration fanatic. I know.)
Thank you! I will treat this as LAW.
whoa! Do be careful — you can drink too much water and it’s bad for you — can even be dangerous. Also, everyone’s body is different. I would go with Haley’s rule from the article instead — drink until your pee is pale yellow.
This is one of the things my GP always emphasizes at yearly visits — I think because she tends to see a population of people who have a tendency to over-achieve their health and drink waaay more water than is necessary/advisable.
Unless you’re on ecstacy or getting hazed or something, it’s really hard to drink enough water for it to be “bad for you or dangerous,” and even then, it’s the elctrolyte imbalance that’s dangerous. Maybe my comment wasn’t clear, but 4 decent-sized glasses of water, at least an hour apart, over the course of a day, isn’t going to be hazardous to anyone’s health. (16 oz is a starbuck’s grande-sized cup, for reference. I’m not suggesting chugging a supergulp of H2O every hour.)
I’m a metric system kid, so the number of ounces you were describing didn’t really mean anything to me. Sorry if it seemed like an over-reaction. Those sizes probably aren’t going to hurt you. My comment was more to the point, though, of saying: best to listen to one’s own body instead of following rules/measurements that are arbitrary. The pee rule is pretty infallible.
But to each his own.
It is, of course, best to listen to one’s own body.
But judging things by pee color, to me, always seems to be after the fact? “Oh, apparently I just drank too much water.” “Oh, I haven’t been drinking enough water.” “Oh, I either need to lay off the beets or get myself to an ER post haste.” – it’s all about what you’ve already consumed.
I was just offering a general guideline, with about as many caveats as possible. But still, WATER FIGHT!!! 🙂
I found a hydration calculator! Here it is!
Oh my goodness, thank you, hooray! And it didn’t even judge me when I said “Minutes of exercise: 0” or “Alcoholic drinks to be consumed: 3”
Good gracious, it put me at 82 oz (2.5 L) per day. That seems a wee bit much. I would live in the bathroom.
This is great, BUT: Retin-A (aka topical Vitamin A) really, truly does work to diminish wrinkles (and treat acne). It doesn’t make them disappear, and it takes a long time to work, and you have to apply it correctly, because it can wreak havoc on sensitive skin if you go overboard. But it works. See here:
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/11/30/fashion/30skin….
Also, it’s prescription only, so you have to get yourself to a dermatologist. The over the counter retinoid treatments that purport to reduce wrinkles have not been shown to be effective.
/PSA.
I thought Retin-A might be the miracle product. . .
I was surprised that Retin-A wasn’t mentioned.
I was going to ask about this very thing!
You can also just go buy it in Mexico, if you happen to be there. A big old tube is about $20.
I know that you’re right, that topical Vitamin A is the only thing actually proven to work, but… I’ve been using it for seven years and haven’t noticed a difference. Unless, of course, I’d be an absolute troll by now without it and I just don’t know.
I was thinking of this when she mentioned the miracle serum–and you should stay away if pregnant!
I had terrible cystic acne on my cheeks and jaw line. The only thing that helped was a good dermatologist. Why? Because I had adult lady hormone acne. Proactiv and Kate Sommerville or Estee were not going to cut it because the problem was not external, it was internal.
So now I take spironolactone and use Tazorac and my skin is way better. My derm has me use Cerave face wash and SPF moisturizer because “it’s cheap and it works fine. Don’t waste your money on anything else.”
And despite the fact I have to pay for two prescriptions and the derm every three or four months, I am saving a lot of money on not desperately trying new stuff at Sephora AND my skin is mostly clear. Win/win.
In summary: are you in your late 20s or early 30s? Do you have angry, deep, painful, unpoppable cystic type things on your face? Dermatologist. Not Sephora.
yeah, my miracle product was/is hormonal birth control. So much so that even though I have had several other less pleasant side effects I don’t wanna stop because I finally have skin that is relatively acne free (or at least close enough for me)
Oh man this is GREAT. I like the line you draw between fixing a problem and treating it; I work in medicine, and it reminds me of most other body-things, in that there’s a huge difference between treating a condition and curing it. The vast majority of stuff in medicine is treatments (with maybe sometimes the hope that if you treat something and give the body good support the body will square up and cure the thing on its own).
Also: Noses. Zits around the nose. On the tip, yes, like Rudolph, but mostly in those little creases, where the nostrils and the face meet and decide to grow all of the whiteheads in the world. Help?
Have you tried applying tea tree oil every night?
I have not, but I think I might.
pro tip: the scent of tea tree is really energising, you’ll feel really awake after applying it; it’s recommended you put it on early in the evening right after you get home. That way you’ll be more likely to sleep because it will have done its job before bed time. 🙂
Yes! Help with those whiteheads but also the huge pores and the blackheads that fill them on the rest of my nose.
This is FANTASTIC and I cannot wait for more. I will finish off my big-ass Nalgene o’ water and pee for the fifth time this morning (wish I was joking). Question for the general populace/Haley if she’s here: I use a tea tree oil face wash. I am convinced it helps me with zits and stuff, and mostly it doesn’t freak out my face. Is this the power of my placebo-loving brain, or does tea tree actually do anything other than smell nice?
It has antiseptic properties, so it CAN help with topical acne. Studies apparently show different things so it probably depends on what you are trying to do with it.
It is a natural anti-septic anti-bacterial ingredient, so it probably does help with acne that is caused by bacteria, though probably wouldn’t do much for hormonal causes.
It also contains phytoestrogens, I believe, so I guess there might be a hormonal component, too.
That’s interesting. I’m not sure what the hormonal effect would be then…good or bad?
Not really my area of expertise, but I’m guessing that since estrogen (eg birth control pills) usually helps acne, topical phytoestrogens are more likely good than bad for hormonal acne. Lavender is also a source of phytoestrogens, and I know it’s recommended for oily/acne-prone skin, too.
Haha you know what helped with my acne? HORMONAL BIRTH CONTROL AND PRETTY MUCH NOTHING ELSE. I actually have way better skin now than when I was a teen.
Same here! Which my gyn did not understand and told me I should see a dermatologist, as there were much better options. Woman, she’s the one who sent me to your people! The $10/month I was paying for BC was so much more reasonable than what I used to pay for skin-specific drugs. That my cystic acne is now back with a vengeance is the main reason I regret going off BC.
Oh yeah, I just had my period and off for a week, and it was CYSTIC ACNE WITH A VENGEANCE (which is pretty normal for me in the summer). I went off my BC last year for probably nine months, and I am never doing it again because my skin went insane (also my period).
Man, this rules. I am Not A Fan of beauty/makeup advice in general, especially on my delightfully weird ladyblogs (sorry Jane), but this is just so self aware and full of Real Talk I think I’m a convert. HERE HERE.
Truth about the exercise. When I have been exercising regularly enough that I don’t get flushed immediately (ie I can go longer than 15 minutes withough falling over in a ball of sweat) my skin improves like 5000%.
Hi, I am bad at being a girl/an adult, and am perpetually confused when people talk about removing their makeup. All I’ve ever done is run tap, wet face, squirt some facewash into hands, rub it on face, rinse off, done. I do not wear waterproof mascara, true, but I do wear quite a lot of concealer and stains and so forth and have never had any visible remnants. So is it all stuck in my pores or something? Am I slowly building a layer of gunk on my face? If this is sufficient, then why do people on tv faff about with cotton buds and pads and three separate cleanser/toner thingys? Halp, Toast, the hivemind knows everything.
You could probably test how good a job you are doing. After cleansing, soak a cotton ball in witch hazel and rub it around your face. Makeup will show up against the white really noticeably.
so i’m assuming the magic stuff she’s talking about is retinol/Retin A. It is pregnancy category X, which essentially means they know it can cause mutations and deformities. There’s likely a difference between the prescription and non-prescription strengths and what that means for pregnancy safety, but it’s probably safe to assume that because it’s in category X, it’s best to avoid it completely during pregnancy.
(source: nursing student in the middle of pharmacology finals)
Ok guys. I have a super low maintenance skin care routine which consists of: washing with drugstore face cleanser, applying gobs of Cetaphil morning and night because it is seriously the best, and light liquid foundation when I feel like it.
I have a question about SUNSCREEN. Cetaphil takes forever to sink in and also I am lazy. Should I apply sunscreen every morning AFTER Cetaphil? Or should I try to find a moisturizer + sunscreen combo for mornings? I heard once that you should not buy a moisturizer + sunscreen combo because moisturizers are supposed to sink in and suncreen is supposed to sit on the top of your skin and thus one product cannot effectively contain both of these things. This seems possibly true but also possibly bunk. What should I do?
And also, I read that Vanicream is a good sunscreen for sensitive skin, true/false?
Get a foundation with sunscreen! Or buy a tinted moisturizer. I use Neutrogena tinted moisturizer, but I’ve also heard good things about Stila and Laura Mercier’s versions.
I get burned very easily and I’m using a serum that makes me skin extra sensitive to light, so daily sunscreen is a must. I’ve been using the oil-control Cetaphil SPF30 moisturizer on my face and neck for months and haven’t been fried once. I think it works! Although I would definitely use a stronger SPF if I was going to be outside for longer than an hour or if I was going to be swimming/sweating.
i’m only 30, so i can’t fully brag yet, but my fine-line game is better than some of my friends, and i fully credit my mother putting a bottle of spf-15 moisturiser in my hands when i was 16. love you, spf.
Only 30? Those are still the glory days!
:sigh:
So pore minimizers: Real thing, or snake oil?
In other words, how do I stop the monstrous pores on my nose from filling with….gunk and becoming blackheads? Haley? ToastHiveMind? Anyone?
I would also like information on taming my case of pore-nose.
Pore minimizers minimize the “appearance of pores” aka the put opaque silicone on your face aka makeup basically. You need to exfoliate daily with BHAs (salacylic acid) with the proper ph for getting in your pores and doing the job (ie what a lab tested it at when they wrote that paper that said it can exfoliate in your pores, not just, “oh yeah, we put some salicylic in here, sure”). Pretty much any Paula’s Choice BHA product is at the right ph. AHAs exfoliate the skin’s surface which can help with scarred pores.
TONERS! What kind should I be using? My skin is oily and acne prone and evil.
I have only ever used Burt’s Bees Garden Tomato Toner but I like it a lot! It smells nice and is refreshing. Then again my skin is pretty dry and not very acne-prone, so perhaps there is a better one for you out there that someone else could recommend (although a commenter on the website says it cleared up their breakouts).
I use this an astringent: http://www.neutrogena.com/product/clear+pore+oil-…
Olay makes a nice one specifically for oily skin. It contains witch hazel, so it gives you that nice minty feeling.
I use Kiehl’s toner, the blue minty one. My oily skin has been nice and smooth and under control since I’ve been using it, although that may be due to other products & not the toner. It definitely removes a lot of makeup that cleanser leaves behind.
NOT ALCOHOL BASED. THAT IS ALL.
So Clarisonics are essentially magic. I mean, clearly, yes, it’s just increasing bloodflow and deep-cleaning, but my skin is so much clearer, smoother, even, … all those good things one wants from skin, since I started using it. I mean, while I’m using it. When I skip a few days because I can’t find the charger, my skin goes to hell. But that is what happens with all things, as seen above. Anyway. Get the sensitive or delicate brushhead, only use it once a day, wait for them to go on sale on Amazon or when Sephora’s doing a blowout sale, but seriously, get one.
(I’m pretty sure Clarisonic evangelicals are going to become the new DIva Cup evengelicals, and I’m all right with that. Come on in, boys, the water’s fine!)
I get so bummed when I hear about people having good clarisonic results, because it didn’t like me. My face broke out worse! But I figure the good effects are from regular exfoliation/thorough cleansing/face massage, so I just do all that in ways that don’t break it out, and hope that it makes up the difference. But clarisonic would be so much easier! Wah!
I’ve heard that can happen – my condolences!
I love mine too. It does what it is supposed to: it gets rid of any Tazorac flakies, it makes my skin look peppy and and feel smooth, and it seems to knock some of the comedones out of my pores. It’s not necessarily a miracle worker, but it does a good job on what it is supposed to do.
“But there is absolutely no product on earth that will . . . (most offensively of all) change or lighten your skin tone. Sorry not sorry.”
I disagree. I get why “lightening” or “whitening” products can be problematic. But I have melasma (a.k.a., the “mask of pregnancy,” because it’s caused by sun exposure + hormones. Lucky me, I have it even though I’ve never been pregnant or used hormonal birth control). Prescription hydroquinone has made a huge difference in how I feel about my face.
Cursed be the gods who gave me combination dry/oily skin!!!!
This series is so great, I can’t wait to hear all about foundation matching. What to do about the flakiness in the sideburns area? It makes for awful blending but is a moisturizing problem, I suppose.
Yes! This is a great feature. I have a body exfoliating scrub that smells like fresh limes and sugar, and it makes me feel so good. I don’t know if it really gets rid of much, but I always feel delicious after using it, so, worth every penny.
Also I have two questions: can you/Toasties recommend any decent CHEAP facial exfoliators, AND how important are use-by dates on skincare products, because I recently threw away a facial scrub that was significantly older than my children.
I like the St. Ives Apricot Scrub as a regular exfoliator and use it maybe once or twice a week. Every few weeks, I get fancy and do a milk of magnesia face mask. (Not only a laxative–who knew!) I have relatively oily skin, and after the milk of magnesia treatment, my skin always feels so soft and glowing. It’s super cheap, too, and you can just buy the store brand.
Agreed, St. Ives is great for oily skin, but might be a bit much for the more sensitive–though it sounds like your weekly schedule is working. I aim for every other day. And I did not know about the milk of magnesia, but will be trying it soon!
Sugar+cold pressed oil (grapeseed, olive, coconut ect.)+ essential oil (lime? or just use lime zest). Mix until you get the right consistency, add a few drops of essential oil to scent it, boom. Bonus: the sugar dissolves easily in warm water, so it’s less likely to leave behind grainy bits.
Bonus features: It lasts, it’s natural, you can make as much as you need, also works as a body scrub, technically you could eat it. I like the size of the sugar grains for the level of exfoliating it does, but that’s me.
Tell me more about your body scrub!
White Citrus from Bath & BodyWorks:) normally that shit is too expensive, but I got a gift card through credit card rewards, and also I’ve bought stuff from their outlet store before.
BAKING SODA! It’s wonderful. Leaves skin so soft and smooth. Add a bit to your face wash when you shower, or just use it straight with water. I guess I use about 1-2 tablespoons on my face and a tablespoon on my neck/cleavage area. 1-3 times a week.
My absolute favorite facial exfoliator is simply honey+sugar. I take a small clump of sugar and mix in a dab of honey – couldn’t tell you the ratio, but it’s not hard to get right. You just want the sugar to stick together nicely. I used to mix a small blob several times a week, and nothing has made my skin feel better.
HOWEVER, although it takes literally 45 seconds to mix up, somehow that always feels like way too long, and I haven’t figured out a way to make a batch that lasts over several uses (as soon as I touch it with wet fingers, it’s all over). So I also keep St. Ives in my bathroom. Doesn’t quite give me that same magical velvet feeling, but still makes me feel good.
Anyone have a recommendation for an SPF moisturizer? I’ve been using the Olay 7-in-one (something like that??) with SPF 15 for years, and I love it, because it’s light and feels good and is not greasy at all.
But for the past month, I feel like I’ve looked in every drugstore in the Vancouver area, and they seem to have stopped carrying it. They still carry the line, but no store I’ve been to (and I go almost EVERY DAY, desperately) has had the SPF 15 version for a while.
So. Toast community, I’ve been lurking until now, but I’m coming out to ask! What’s a good daytime moisturizer with SPF?
I like Cetaphil’s spf15 moisturizer, Target also has a generic version which works. The generic has a nasty chemical smell but it doesn’t linger after you put it on.
I really like Aveeno (the one with the tan top, not the green top, although that one is okay too). It’s expensive, but I recently discovered the Target version is, of course, cheaper and just as good.
I use the Olay Regenerist with SPF 50. It’s not the exact thing, but seems to work good enough.
I really like Garnier Moisture Rescue but I just checked up on it and of course it’s been discontinued. OF COURSE.
If this hadn’t linked to the “So you’ve decided to drink more water” article, it would have been an egregious oversight.
STUPID QUESTION TIME
I was my face with Cetaphil before bed and when I get up in the morning and do my thang, my skin looks relatively fine, until I use my moisturizer, at which point I suddenly look blotchier and generally worse. This would be Time To Change Moisturizers, yes? (I didn’t formerly have this reaction to the stuff, but I have since switching back to it from something else that didn’t actually moisturize enough.)
That sounds like the Time To Change Moisturizers, unfortunately. At least in the morning. Does it happen at night?
I don’t moisturize with it at night–either nothing after the Cetaphil or I use coconut oil. Sooooo yeah, it’s pretty obviously the moisturizer! Thank you for even responding to my complete failure to use logic, but I’ve never had an immediate bad reaction to a skincare product, so I thought maybe it wasn’t a thing.
Fine, fine, I will start wearing sunscreen daily. Can anyone recommend one that will not make my oily face even more oily?
I have oily skin and I use Shisiedo sunscreen, the kind in the blue and yellow packaging. It leaves a nice matte finish that’s not oily or sticky feeling.
Neutrogena Sport Face (SPORT FACE!) is nicely matte, but hurts like hell if you get it in your eyes. They also make a dry-touch kind that works well, too.
Well, from what I was told by several facialists, facial lines, even wrinkles, are like shadows of a wound deeper in the layers of the skin. So, on a very technical surface level, you can actually “smooth” out lines and light wrinkles with peptides and certain plant extracts, yeah. Antioxidants can really help. But you need to start when you’re skin is young enough. I’m 34, and I’m actually starting to feel a little creeped out when I get hit on by 21 year old guys who think I’m their age. I know most of that is my parents’ genetics, sure. But I use moisturizers that contain a lot of plant extracts that can help with mild skin injuries, sun damage, UV blocking, and skin disorders – I think that is what keeps skin looking “youthful.”
See, a peptide, like those found in the expensive creams, is an amino acid chain that convinces the skin that it is injured so the skin naturally begins to heal itself – kind of like when you get a sunburn and your skin peels and suddenly the skin underneath is velvety soft. So, a lot of these ingredients do penetrate several skin layers to force skin cells to work harder. I’ve become an unofficial esthetician for my friends because of all the research I do and the questions I ask! Not sure how to feel about that.
One thing I can say: All those creams at the department store use silicones, like dimethicone, which is great for the outer lawyer, but won’t penetrate the inner layer. And don’t even get me started on petroleum and mineral oil. Or maybe I hate it because I’m kind of topically allergic.
Anyway, as much as I don’t want to use the words “organic” and “all natural” since they are buzz words – they really are the best bet.
Okay, here are some of my “secret” products, if anyone asks. Feel free to ignore all those hypes and claims, because the ingredients are the important things:
http://www.absilk.com/extremecream.html http://www.beautyhabit.com/product5957.html http://www.etsy.com/listing/84293185/2in1-umf-act… http://sweetsationtherapy.com/item_290/LumiEssenc…
If you take a look at the ingredient list, you’ll see a few things in common: Sea Buckthorn oil, Tamanu oil, amino acids, peptides, extracts that will stimulate cell healing and cell turnover. I spent over ten years trying to figure out what I wanted in a product, and believe me, I fell to my knees and praised these shop owners and showered them with thanks.
Now, the authors here say that you don’t need serums – but you DO need oil. Even oily skin needs oil. Oily skin is actually dehydrated skin that overproduces serum because it is desperately thirst. Oil will dissolve excess oil. The product I listed from Etsy can help deliver pure oils that will melt into the skin. Alternatively, I offer the Medicated Goo, here: http://www.bluefeathersoap.com/medicinals.htm which is composed of beeswax and oils. Oil is so important for skin that I suggest buying a jar of solid coconut oil and rubbing it on your skin before you apply any moisturizer. No, seriously, coconut oil is one of the greatest, most powerful things that can ease any topical issue. Plus it’s cheap. I bought a one pound jar for under ten bucks.
Now, if anyone lives near a Whole Foods or Roots or similar store, I will recommend a brand called Andalou Naturals. I use the Body Butter in Kukui Cocoa, which smells like chocolate coffee.
I thought applying coconut oil WAS moisturiser. Thanks for the tips!
Yup! Coconut oil IS moisturizer. Extra virgin is best. You can also use plain old olive oil or grapeseed oil.
What I meant to say was that coconut oil can be used as the “serum” part that will sink into the skin, and then you apply whatever moisturizers you own on top.
Whoa, definitely gonna look into this stuff. Thanks!
I don’t know how many of you guys are in the UK, but I love the Boots Simple range: http://www.boots.com/en/Simple/ – at first I only tried them because they were 3 for £5 and I was like “sure, face things, I guess” but the combo of night moisturiser + non-soap face wash + toner has turned my face from “good? I guess?” to “BABY SOFT AND GLOWING LIKE A CHERUB”.
Boots also does a good 50+ SPF sunscreen that isn’t too sticky or heavy. It’s for babies.
Love the Simple range. They have everything, and it doesn’t smell weird!
I love Boots sunscreen. Their botanics stuff is great too.
(Hi!)
Toners taking off the remains of your cleanser is an old BS line from when they first invented toner. People were using Pond’s Cold Cream and wiping it off with a tissue. If you wash your face and clean it off good with a wet cloth of some kind your fine. A lot of toners on the market are either alcohol (which is how they started) or they’ve become lotions and peels that do things. There are moisturizing ones with glycerin, calming ones with glycerin and usually some sort of useless chamomile extract, and then there are exfoliating lotions and pads, which unless you’re crazy sensitive is what will benefit you. A liquid or lotion with glycolic and/or salycilic acid used every day is the best thing I ever did for my skin. If you want your skin to be baby butt level smooth feeling do a light chemical exfoliate every day (which, honestly? that’s all that you can do. even if you have wrinkles, which everyone has, if you can get the texture really soft and smooth you can get a good layer of primer and get your foundation and concealer on really smooth and have less dark spots to cover and it will make no makeup makeup skin easier to pull off.)
Sorry, but Thayer’s witch hazel toner is magic. Alcohol-free as well.
Thayer’s would fall under the first or second category. It’s glycerin with w itch hazel extract.
Well, from what I was told by several facialists, facial lines, even wrinkles, are like shadows of a wound deeper in the layers of the skin. So, on a very technical surface level, you can actually “smooth” out lines and light wrinkles with peptides and certain plant extracts, yeah. Antioxidants can really help. But you need to start when your skin is young enough. I’m 34, and I’m actually starting to feel a little creeped out when I get hit on by 21 year old guys who think I’m their age. I know most of that is my parents’ genetics, sure. But I use moisturizers that contain a lot of plant extracts that can help with mild skin injuries, sun damage, UV blocking, and skin disorders – I think that is what keeps skin looking “youthful.”
See, a peptide, like those found in the expensive creams, is an amino acid chain that convinces the skin that it is injured so the skin naturally begins to heal itself – kind of like when you get a sunburn and your skin peels and suddenly the skin underneath is velvety soft. So, a lot of these ingredients do penetrate several skin layers to force skin cells to work harder. I’ve become an unofficial esthetician for my friends because of all the research I do and the questions I ask! Not sure how to feel about that.
One thing I can say: All those creams at the department store use silicones, like dimethicone, which is great for the outer lawyer, but won’t penetrate the inner layer. And don’t even get me started on petroleum and mineral oil. Or maybe I hate it because I’m kind of topically allergic.
Anyway, as much as I don’t want to use the words “organic” and “all natural” since they are buzz words – they really are the best bet.
Okay, here are some of my “secret” products, if anyone asks. Feel free to ignore all those hypes and claims, because the ingredients are the important things:
http://www.absilk.com/extremecream.html http://www.beautyhabit.com/product5957.html http://www.etsy.com/listing/84293185/2in1-umf-act… http://sweetsationtherapy.com/item_290/LumiEssenc…
If you take a look at the ingredient list, you’ll see a few things in common: Sea Buckthorn oil, Tamanu oil, amino acids, peptides, extracts that will stimulate cell healing and cell turnover. I spent over ten years trying to figure out what I wanted in a product, and believe me, I fell to my knees and praised these shop owners and showered them with thanks.
Now, the authors here say that you don’t need serums – but you DO need oil. Even oily skin needs oil. Oily skin is actually dehydrated skin that overproduces serum because it is desperately thirst. Oil will dissolve excess oil. The product I listed from Etsy can help deliver pure oils that will melt into the skin. Alternatively, I offer the Medicated Goo, here: http://www.bluefeathersoap.com/medicinals.htm which is composed of beeswax and oils. Oil is so important for skin that I suggest buying a jar of solid coconut oil and rubbing it on your skin before you apply any moisturizer. No, seriously, coconut oil is one of the greatest, most powerful things that can ease any topical issue. Plus it’s cheap. I bought a one pound jar for under ten bucks.
Now, if anyone lives near a Whole Foods or Roots or similar store, I will recommend a brand called Andalou Naturals. I use the Body Butter in Kukui Cocoa, which smells like chocolate coffee.
Seriously, though. If nothing else, get yourself some coconut oil if you really want great, simple moisturizing with hydration. Then apply sunscreen over that (heck, I think coconut oil has its own UV filtering powers). And there you go. That’s a small part of the magic formula.
What are you supposed to do in the sauna? I went in once with a magazine and in like a minute the steam dissolved all the glue and it fell apart. I never returned.
I close my eyes and make lists of things. Like, my top seven Bruce Springsteen songs not on “Born to Run”, or three favourite sexual partners, or top five meals to make with aubergines.
Nooooo but what do you reaaaaaad? I can’t sit doing nothing for ten minutes, I need something to take my mind of how weird it feels in there.
I can believe that about the best product for your skin being the most toxic. My skin was terrible until I got cancer and went through chemotherapy a few years ago, and it cleared up so much it’s unbelievable.
Can I drink tea instead of water? Yes? Excellent.
Actually I think tea’s a diuretic. Sorry :/ It’s the caffeine.
It is a diuretic, but not enough to counter the amount of liquid you’re drinking, so it’s still hydrating http://www.freedrinkingwater.com/water_health/hea…
Yeah, herbal/fruit tea yes, normal/green tea no. Sadly. 🙁
I am SO JAZZED about this column.
I have to be a big hippie and say that the most fun and immediately effective thing I ever did for my awful, awful skin was dabble in “all natural” skin care. Oil cleansing method. homemade rosewater toner, jojoba, coconut, cornstarch, apple cider vinegar…mmm. It’s so much fun!! More fun than cooking!! And my awful skin continues to be somewhat awful, but it really does get better when I stick to my granola routine. There is a blog called Crunchy Betty that’s an awesome resource if you’re interested in playing around with that stuff.
I am also obsessed with Silk Naturals makeup, because it is truly the only makeup that doesn’t make my face explode. It’s like Bare Minerals but with less bad shit in it. You can only get it online and you MIX your OWN COLOR, which is fun and not as hard as it sounds.
I’m a bit limited when it comes to make up and skin care products because I’m allergic to Propylene Glycol, which is in ALL THE THINGS, but I was really excited to see that it’s not in the Boscia mask or cleanser – take all my money, Sephora.
Guys can I admit that I just use bar soap on my face in the shower and that’s it? Unless I wore makeup that day which I usually don’t, or if I got hot and sweaty or dirty, then I’ll wash it at night too… again with just bar soap. I find that washing my face too much dries it out. I don’t honesty do anything else, not even lotion.
Bar soap is terrible for your face! That’s why washing it dries it out. I use pretty much any “waterless” cleanser — if it’s okay if some stays on your face, then it’s not going to dry it out or clog your pores, I have found.
Thanks for this hilarious, truthful blog!
I am one of those who is lucky enough to have had great skin my whole life. I have done nothing, nothing ever, ever, ever to deserve it. Do you hear me? Nothing. Ever.
OK, so I like vegetables, have never smoked, and so pale that I stay out of the sun. But you know how I drink ‘water’? I drink coffee. That’s right, coffee made with water, but coffee. I can go whole weeks without drinking water that doesn’t have particles of arabica floating in it. Also, I don’t exercise and I like butter–a lot.
So everyone who isn’t lucky enough to have good skin, please stop beating yourselves up. Please stop thinking that if you were just a better human being, you’d not have the skin issues.
I’m a horrible, horrible human being who doesn’t eat right and doesn’t exercise, and sometimes doesn’t wash my face at night, and my skin is lovely.
If I kicked puppies for fun, my skin would still be great.
So, if you try to be a good person, if you are kind, generous, and patient, stay that way. The world needs more of you..
Stay lovely.
“…an acne-less version of the skin I had when I was sixteen”
I can’t say how great that phrase sounds. People talk about the skin they had at sixteen as thought it is the best skin they’ve ever had. I’ve had acne since I was eleven, at sixteen my skin was nothing to dream about. It was rather disheartening to consider that was The Best.
Haley, you’ve taken sixteen year old skin off its pedastool (a little bit), thank you!
Large pores and other facial conditions will not have a chance against the right skincare routine if used consistently. A skincare regimen is the best way to protect, improve and control prone oily and blemish skin, excessive exposure to the sun and other elements that attribute to large pores. To successfully minimize large pores, you need to understand what effects large pores, use a skincare routine to control pores from enlarging, and get healthy, radiant skin.
One of my friends is an aesthetician. She quit her job for personal family issues. Got a job at a beauty counter in the interim. As an aesthetician, she had to stop herself a few times from telling customers that the luxe products she was selling at the counter are shit and that they should go to a “real” skin expert facility.
You forgot to mention cosmetic acupuncture. Stimulates the nerve endings to encourage your body natural collagen production. But then again I might be biased 😉
I adore an incredibly good article just like it. You actually think nearly the same as I actually do and I am pleased I found your article.
Jesus Fucking Christ. Thank you for this article. I've been researching my optimal skin care routine for the past few months, wading through endless reviews and product claims, which has basically turned me into the ultimate skincare nihilist. I have about as enough faith in skincare companies as do I in the 2016 presidential race. Haley: thank you for telling it like it is.