Previous installments in this series can be found here.
“Emma Bloomberg, the foundation’s 34-year-old chief of staff, stands poised and seemingly unflappable in discreet jewels and one of the quietly elegant sleeveless sheath dresses she favors (the better to show her impressively CrossFit-toned arms).”
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“Spritz, dab, splash, roll. There are only so many ways to apply a fragrance – or so we thought.”
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“’Emma and Chris are very discerning about the folks that are allowed into their circle, and they’ve put together a very curated group of friends that’s like one big family,’ says Anton”
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“’I live on three island: Manhattan, one off the coast of Maine, and Key West,’ she says – each of which she fills with much-beloved botanical watercolors by Gertrude Hamilton, antique sailors’ valentines, and all manner of things Victorian.”
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“Next time a foodie friend takes out their phone at the dinner table, they may be doing more than sharing a picture of quinoa salad or tuna tartare.”
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“My two daughters – Ursula, six, and Tess, three – had been asked to follow Caro up the aisle, along with eight other children, on the most important day of her life. It was an honor I had been wondering if they would live up to since last summer, when the request first came.”
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“But before envying the supermodel for both her otherworldy beauty and her virtue, know that she’s also real. Sure she may want her family to go packaging-free for a week, ‘but I’m not going to be psycho mom telling Auden he can’t have a Clif Bar’ she says.”
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[On selfies]: “The (semi-) spontaneous snapshots one takes of oneself to display an enviable updo, the most luscious lip color, a bejeweled ear cuff, new shoes.”
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“There was something delicious about arriving in my suite at the historic Hotel Sacher in the center of Vienna this past July, a few days before the wedding of Caroline Sieber and Fritz von Westenholz. Not only was my room upholstered in pink and dripping in chandeliers – paradise! But a tempting slice of Sacher torte had been put on the table for me.”
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“The first weekend my mother saw my icy-white FuelBand, she told me it was ugly and that it looked like a medical bracelet on someone too young to be wearing one.”
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“The food – asparagus to start and rare beef to follow – was served on blue-and-white Herend china ordered in from Germany (there wasn’t enough of it in Austria).”
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“Oh, the glorious extra time! Enough to book a ticket to Barcelona or take a power nap.”
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“Emma loves fashion,” her friend Lizzie Wolff, a Vanity Fair publicist, says, “but I remember being at a wedding with her where she was wearing some fabulous dress. I asked her who made it, and she said, ‘It’s Rent the Runway.” I thought that was hilarious.”
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“Invitations were handed out very late and very exclusively, so I was surprised to see how many guests actually appeared at the local pub in Hohenberg, situated on the rolling estate of our two aunts, the sisters Tony and Daisy.”
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“As boys brought up with a certain worldly sophistication – our father was an American diplomat, and we grew up in Europe and Morocco – my brother and I called her ‘Nonina,’ the Italian diminutive for ‘Grandma.’”
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“Inside was a long list of names – the guest list for the weekend. Oh – the Andres Santo Domingos were here. Heaven. Pippa Middleton was coming. The Marquess and Marchioness of Cholmondeley, and designers Erdem Moralioglu and Christopher Kane were expected. […] The guest list was just the first indication that perfection would be the only option at their wedding.”
FIN
Tags: fashion, loose threads, magazines, vogue, worn fashion journal
I had to unsubscribe to Vogue when I realized it made me itch to find a shotgun and a brick wall and start a revolution.
I was thinking along the same lines, but with more setting things on fire whilst shouting À bas les aristos!
These quotes certainly got me whistling “Ah! ça ira“.
brb, pounding six-pack of Miller Lite and watching football in a tube top
<3
::BELCH::
Eating canned tuna while lying on the couch and not wearing a bra. High five!
That doesn’t look like Jennifer Lawrence. I mean it does, but it doesn’t.
BUT WHAT IS THE NEW WAY TO WEAR FRAGRANCE!? Eat it? Put it up your butt? Inserted on the poof of a headband?
Also I used to have a Vogue subscription, mostly for the exclusive purpose of making fun of it on my now defunct blog. Now every time I get a renewal notice from them that wants me to pay $50/year (Canada), I say, “Nice try, Wintour,” as I rip it up and throw it in the garbage.
Spritz it on a scrunchie, which you then wrap semi-ironically around your messy-but-not-really pony-bun hybrid.
Spoiler: It has a nail polish-style brush for application (I always buy the September issue, and read/peruse it cover to cover. And that’s all the Vogue I can handle for an entire year).
Incorporate it into the city water supply.
Have your body genetically modified so your sweat smells good and not gross
I bet a lot of residents in the Capital and District One have those mods.
Wear an exotic bird on your head that farts roses
Favorite
This kind of magazine totally bemuses me.
AUDEN, THOUGH?
REALLY?
Hey, at least the poor kid gets a freakin’ Clif bar every now and then.
Had to find out who the hell named their packaging-free child Auden. It’s Amber Valletta, who I only know as “that blonde lady from Hitch.”
You know, I have the feeling that if Amber Valletta had married Kevin James in real life, their son would be named Auden over his dead body.
His room has a mural of a rainy English street and selected lines from “As I Walked Out One Evening.” (Mom thought “Funeral Blues” was too much for a nursery.)
“As boys brought up with a certain worldly sophistication – our father was an American diplomat, and we grew up in Europe and Morocco – my brother and I called her ‘Nonina,’ the Italian diminutive for ‘Grandma.’”
Yeah ok I was brought up in an average American suburb and also called my grandma “nonni” … I wouldn’t say I have “a certain worldly sophistication.” It was just her language.
Nope you were super sophisticated, you just didn’t realize it. European things. Sophisticated. Always.
“Sophisticated” is such a snotty sixth grade girl word. Like “conceited.” Nobody says sophisticated or conceited except 12-year-olds.
The word “sophisticated,” without fail, makes me think of Stacey McGill.
At the end of grad school, I got my hair cut in an angled bob. When my mom saw it a few weeks later, she said, “Wow, Bittersweet, your hair is really….sophisticated.” It was not a compliment, nor did she mean it as such.
But in many ways my mother is the senior citizen equivalent of a 12-year-old girl, so that makes a lot of sense.
Was it sophisticated of me to eat Nutella from the jar when I studied abroad in Italy? To drastically ramp up my rate of Nutella consumption from when I arrived in the country to when I left? (Ate one of the small “child sized” jars in a day, yall!) It did happen in Europe, after all.
I was brought up outside of the US as the child of an American diplomat (and as a bonus, a non American mother from an ‘exotic’ foreign country).
And I can promise you I am the least sophisticated person ever (and I’m also not 100% certain what worldly even means).
My branch of the family might have fallen on hard times, but I’ll have you know my Yiayia was an extremely sophisticated woman. She maintained residences in Long Island and Florida.
wait, are we related?
I’m not aware of any of my cousins applying to med school! I imagine there are lots of elderly people who have made the LI to FL move.
oh yeah, i was joking! haha, sorry that wasn’t clear. i think probably half the elderly population of long island evacuates to florida come november.
At my wedding, I forced the Viscount Fetherstonhaugh to eat Osetra caviar whilst wearing Popover Rothschild’s Philip Treacy pink ostrich fascinator o it was just scrummy.
gasp
Fetherstonhaugh is pronounced “Foon,” and everyone who says it wrong is an unrefined bourgie wannabe.
There were chandeliers in the bed, no room to sleep. Tangled, heaped in the bathtub. Piled in the corners, the light from the windows bouncing off every crystalline facet and scorching our squinting eyes. The mounds of glass crunching under our feet made us bleed–paradise!
can’t breathe
send help
You may also enjoy The Lady (http://www.lady.co.uk/), which is also bats.
I refuse to visit websites of publications with The in the name if they don’t also have The in their web address.
Hyphens are extra fancy.
“A very curated group of friends.” A VERY CURATED GROUP OF FRIENDS. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
The kind of person who says they “curate” their friends (or who would say that in all seriousness about another person) is the kind of person who deserves to have the worst friends on earth.
And they probably do.
I took that to mean that they “curate” their friends as I do — by mounting them, with pins through the thorax, onto a linen backing. Or having them stuffed and installed in a life-size diorama of the African Savanna.
OR AM I DOING IT WRONG?!?!?
But what to do with the friends you need to deaccession? I have a few that I managed to send out on long-term loan to the other republics, but my long term storage is woefully inadequate, and I’m still saddled with a few stragglers who don’t fit in with the story I’m trying to put together right now.
You are doing it absolutely 100% correctly.
No half-assed curation here. She curated the group and then, upon realizing it was only mildly curated, went and curated it some more!
I use curated as an insult; that is, people who don’t actually like what they say they like. “Her taste in books is awfully curated.”
Also I use it for herbarium specimens.
(Apparently I am also a 12 year old – that is a very junior high insult, isn’t it?)
Haha, no, I like it! That’s really the perfect indirect insult for people who pretend to like things they don’t because they fit some idea of what’s high class or cultured, or pretend to hate things they really like because they’d be seen as trashy or frivolous, and would judge others’ likes/dislikes on that basis. Like, dude, relax, your affection for Lifetime movies and hatred of somber documentaries says absolutely nothing about your character or personality. Life is too short to curate yourself!
Yeah, I quit reading that wedding article pretty quickly, but I still recognized that about 30% of these quotes were from it.
Also, pretty sure there was something outrageously Vogue-y in the Marissa Mayer article, too.
I guess everyone knows how I spent my Labor Day weekend now.
I kind of need to know more about this wedding in Austria…
If these friends are “curated,” then they’re *nothing* like family since one doesn’t choose family?
Hmm.
Guys, I just have to share the most priceless, obtuse quote with you. From “Charlotte Kidd, 28, Photographer/Artist” profiled in Marie Claire:
“It sounds cheesy, but I want to find something beautiful in things that you’d normally forget or just miss. I used to drive around New York a lot, and I would photograph truckers naked in their sleeping berths. They were posed sort of like Grecian paintings, so it was taking this naked fat man and making him beautiful.
Do these human beings know they are providing the raw (literally) material for this woman’s epiphanies? Is she slinking around truck stops tenderly documenting the exotic local fauna? WHO IS LETTING HER DO THIS?
OH MY GOD
YOU’D “NORMALLY FORGET OR JUST MISS” THAT BECAUSE YOU’D NORMALLY NOT BE A PEEPING TOM
It sounds “cheesy” at first and then it sounds “fucking terrible.” What a garbage person.
YOU'D "NORMALLY FORGET OR JUST MISS" THAT BECAUSE YOU'D NORMALLY NOT BE A PEEPING TOM