Darth made this for Mallory’s sister:
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MIND PALACES ARE REAL:
Anyone can learn to construct a memory palace, researchers say, and with practice remember far more detail of a particular subject than before. The technique is accessible enough that preteens pick it up quickly, and Mr. Paterson has integrated it into his teaching.
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Will always link to true crime.
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You appear to be able to purchase Plan B on Amazon.
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“JOLENE” REVISED:
You could have your choice of men
But men are dogs
And we could be everything to each other Jolene
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Ballet and sibling rivalry:
Perhaps my sister and I will be equally good at something. This is my dream. Instead, I fall down a flight of stairs and sprain my ankle a month after getting pointe shoes and am out of commission for six months. When that time elapses, nobody talks about my going back en pointe. I don’t ask for it, either. I remain on flat shoes, in the beginner’s class, for the rest of my dance career. The same year, my sister lands the role of Clara in “The Nutcracker.” She is the most perfect Clara I have ever seen.
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Are you fucking shitting me.
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We have unfairly judged men. They spread their legs on public transit like that to make room for their cats:
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I love her and am very excited.
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Tags: feminism, link roundup, the internet
I love that version of Jolene extra because I feel pretty confident that Dolly Parton would approve.
Oh, wow. That sister post. I can so relate, and I so worry about my children and how they will compete and excel at things.
Ditto. My ballerina baby sister is flying in to visit tomorrow and she will get a big hug.
<3 That is very cool 🙂 I’m kind of only now reconnecting with my sister, for lots of reasons, but basically it’s awesome.
You know, I think I might just email her right now.
I made sure to not do the same thing as my brother growing up basically for this reason. My recollection is that this was a mutual understanding, but childhood memories are faulty so I have no idea how my brother felt/feels about it. Whatever the case, it worked well enough.
Yeah, I’m basically steering my children into completely different things for this reason! I mean, they are in fact very different people, but I’m really focussing on what they can do that’s their ‘special’ thing.
I so wanted to be my sister when I was growing up. And we are so different. It was never going to work.
Same here. I have three siblings and we basically carved out completely separate hobbies/school subjects/lifestyles partly for this reason. My sister and I made sure we never even had similar length hair.
What’s funny is we (and my little sister, who’s seven years younger and so I never did anything with her in mind, except for maybe trying to get her to like what I liked) went to the same tiny arts magnet school, but I guess we tried to do different things in it? I was in creative writing, he was in drama and then cinematography. I took Spanish, he took French. We only had friends in common after I graduated and one of my best friends (a year younger than me, a year older than him) who was in the same department as my brother became friends with him. Looking back, it’s rather strange.
My brother and I (he’s 18 months younger) have basically each picked one half of the brain and gone with it. He’s sciencey and athletic, I’m artsy and sedentary. We’re both doing really well in our respective brain halves.
Looks like people have been availing themselves of Plan B via Amazon, ’cause there’s only one left in stock!
And it’s almost half the price of buying it in person at a pharmacy!
It seems to good to be true. It is, right?
It seems like it…but…I hope it’s not? It would be so badass if humans were able to access this stuff easily AND get free two-day shipping!
It was on the Planned Parenthood tumblr (which, yes, I follow happily) so I think it’s very real!
Not eligible for Prime, though *has a sad*
Oh, man. Mind palaces are totally real and totally awesome. This book about a guy who decides to compete in the Olympics of memory goes into how they work and how he constructed his own. (Also, it’s a good book.)
FOERRRR
And this is a great academic book on memory palaces in the late medieval and renaissance eras. (Hey, look, my dissertation just came in handy!)
Yay!!! There’s also this one about an Italian Jesuit who learned Chinese using one and lived in the Ming court.
Thank you so much for that saving room for cats link. I really needed a laugh this morning, and that hit the spot.
I’ve been riding the subway in New York twice a day during the week for over a year, and I’ve literally never had a problem with someone taking up more than one seat when their size doesn’t require it. NEVER. THIS IS A FAKE PROBLEM.
What line do you ride? It is a constant issue on 1, A, 4,5,6.
I’m on the M and I think this is part of why it happens less–everyone’s a commuter, everyone knows the drill.
I think it depends on the train. It NEVER happens to me on the E, especially the part in Queens going to manhattan but I see it a lot on other trains. Especially the 1, which, in my experience, is also where all the train masturbators like to wave their genitals at me.
We have an M train? live and learn…
Go ahead and add the L to that list.
Maybe you have a really skinny lower half? Because I have this problem at least twice a week.
Hm. I look for people with small asses before I sit down. I think that’s probably where this is coming from.
It’s a real problem – in DC at least – but the even REALER problem is dudes who stand in front of the damn doors all the time and block the way on and off. Are they saving room for cats too? ARE THEY?
YES, I’ve seen that in DC for sure. A friend of mine who lives there is very guilty of it, and it drives me crazy.
Apparently this is an actual problem. I recant my original statement and contend I am just very lucky.
I HATE THOSE PEOPLE
UGH I know they’re the worst >:(
Not a fake problem, and not just on the subway. Earlier this year I was on a five hour plane ride next to a skinny dude who insisted on sitting with his backpack between his legs instead of under the seat. This meant that he was well into my space the whole time, even though his hips were probably less wide than mine. Way worse than sitting next to someone larger who thinks about the person next to them and does what they can.
airplane leg spreaders suuuuuck. way to make me feel even more trapped (dude didn’t even respond to my passive-aggressive knee bangs. *shin kick*)
i’ve seen it random benches too. come on guys, you aren’t the only ones waiting for the bus/ doctor/ table at olive garden. act like a debutante and glue them knees together.
Maybe I’m terrible, but on an airplane, I absolutely do look them in the eye and say, “excuse me, but you’re in my space.” If they are skinny men who are being jerks with their legs, not if they are large people who can’t help it, of course. And in a sort of saddened but helpful tone, like “oh, you must not have realized.” Sometimes they don’t apologize, but sometimes they do, and they always shift. It’s great, ladies!
On airplanes I really do believe in sticking up for oneself, because blood clots in the leg and all.
Airplane space intruders are the worst. I was on a 13-hour flight to Ethiopia a few days ago, and the dude sitting next to me kept leaning into my seat to get comfortable for his nap – like, he wasn’t leaning over while asleep, he was purposely taking up a third of my space in preparation for his nap. Unbelievable. (Don’t worry, I told him to move.)
Yesterday I was on a bus and a woman was sitting kind of sidesaddle with her legs angled across another seat. She shifted enough for me to sit down, and I gave her the benefit of the doubt because maybe she can’t sit straight because of an injury or there isn’t space for her legs because of the tall guy across from her. But no, the tall guy moved and still she sat all angled into my space, and when she got up and walked away she was uninjured and not even that tall. Eh, people.
I used to think that surely a person would close up his legs should someone sit beside him on the train. Nope, once I sat next to a guy who would NOT CLOSE HIS LEGS so his SPREAD-EAGLE LEGS were pressing into mine and his IRON LEGS would not be moved so I was smooshed sideways into the poor lady on my other side. In retrospect I should have just stood up. Sigh.
Hmmm, when you hit dudes in the nuts they close their legs, don’t they…?
It doesn’t happen to me often–I try to sit next to women or no one or remain standing when possible–but it does happen. The worst is when you are already sitting and a dude sits next to you and hems you in (SEPTA still has transverse seats where this is possible) and then opens his legs wiiiiide and maybe even bounces them a little, and you can do nothing without engaging verbally. Ugh.
On a train ride from Portland to Seattle I rode next to a dude who fake slept the entire time with his legs spread out in my space. I got so mad about it that I decided to spread my own legs dude-style until I edged him back where he belonged.
Not fake; dealt with it this morning on the Q. Skinny guy, legs spread wiiiiiiide. Did not take my hinting knee push to get his legs off my legs. Kept moving them back out. Part II: Across the aisle another guy spread out into two seats with a woman at the end of the bench. Got excited when another big dude came and wanted to sit in the open seat, thinking surely the double-seat pig would have to move but NOPE. The only person who ended up shifting at all was the poor woman at the end of the bench.
I always try to take up as little room as possible on the bus (easy peasy cos I’m such a little dude), so I get silently outraged when guys get on and spread their shit all over the benches, taking up two or three seats.
Like, come on. I know I’m a naive idealist, but why you gotta be a dick.
Holy shit, the Reykjavik Confessions! That is some world class travesty of justice right there.
So messed up and sad. Miscarriage-of-justice stories always really get me.
All I know is that I have never seen my dad more relieved when, after I went to college, my sister quit ballet to become captain of a sportsy thing in high school. “No more Nutcrackers” – special issue of Dads Magazine?
Apparently DC has a nasty habit of housing youths with adults in prison. Link here. Note – don’t read the comments.
Ok, this is totally OT but has anyone else seen that photo of the note from the Wife to the Husband welcoming him home with a nerf gun game, the loser makes dinner. Am I the only one who is infuriated by this?
I get home about 10 minutes before my husband and the last thing I have time to do is to get couples nerf guns and go waste time by hiding until he gets home. Is this a “cool girl” thing? To be a “fun” wife instead of a lame wife who wants to fix dinner and clean up and maybe just have time to watch Mad Men before going to bed and starting the day all over again. Because I am not that cool. And let’s face it, the first thing my husband wants to do when he gets home is take off his work clothes or poop.
NO, you are not alone. It is stupid. My husband beats me home every day by like ten minutes as well, and even when I was unemployed I asked “Would it be fun if I greeted you with a game or something when you first got home from work every day?” and he looked at me like I had six heads. I am a LOT of damn fun, but honestly, you know what’s more fun to come home to? Not having to cook dinner. A clean house. Chores done. I’m not playing a god-damned game of Nerf if it means we’re not going to eat dinner until 8:30 and won’t be able to go run errands and I won’t have any groceries for the next day or whatever.
Yes, it is a “cool girl” thing and the idea of a “fun wife” is so beyond stupid and offensive. Does that mean that wives who don’t do this are lame wives? Join me in Realityland, lame wives, where we can do chores and take care of the things we have to do, and not call ourselves “fun wives” because we came up with some stupid time-waster!
I HAVE FEELS ABOUT THIS.
Exactly! You know what meme I would rather see? A note from a husband to wife saying “Hey, I got off work early so I fixed dinner, it even has vegetables. But I figured you’d want to take your shoes off first, so how about a foot massage?” That is the perfect marriage. It doesn’t even have to be a note! Like, just do that every so often. PERFECT MARRIAGE.
This is a symptom of the larger idea of “marriage is death! Wives are no fun and the ball-and-chain! Husbands just wanna be free and do cool stuff! Wives just wanna kill their hopes and dreams! BE FREE, HUSBANDS, BE BROS.”
sigh
Yeah, I am really sensitive to that idea because my husband went from a nerdy single dude who played video games a lot to a nerdy married dude who plays video games often. And sometimes his friends jokingly ask if I’ll let him play video games anymore. But…marriage is not like that. When he plays video games I get to watch Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries. WIN WIN.
Sometimes my husband’s coworkers or whoever will ask if I “let him” buy a video game or go hang out with them or whatever. (In fairness, they also ask “hey why didn’t aravisthequeen want to come?” or “where’s your wife? You should have brought her!” so it’s not like they secretly loathe me or whatever.) And he tells me and I get all steamed on his behalf because I DON’T “LET HIM” DO ANYTHING, I am not his parent, whatever.
But honestly, like, on the one hand I’m like if it works for us and we are happy, who cares? Then on the other hand I’m like NO FIGHT THE STEREOTYPES FIGHT THEM
In a similar vein, my sister-in-law once asked if I made my husband do his own laundry, and I was like, he does his own laundry because he is a grown-ass man who is fully capable of operating a washing machine, and because that is how we negotiated chores because we are adults in a relationship.
Exactly. “Yes, honey, it is AOK if you play on the computer for a while, because I have Shonda Rimes shows to catch up on.”
My boyfriend’s friends say stuff like that all the time. He gets lots of comments about me “letting him” play video games or go out and do sportsy stuff. Why would I care if he plays video games or goes out? I have my own stuff to do, I certainly don’t have the time or inclination to micromanage him.
My response to this: “Why yes, of course I let him play videogames. It gives me more time to play videogames!”
The number of stereotypes packed into “Does your wife let you play video games” is too staggering to count, but perhaps the most vexatious and common is the idea that video games are male territory.
The primary reason I might not “let” The Fella play video games is because MOVE OUT OF THE WAY, I AM PLAYING PORTAL 2.
My husband really wants me to stop talking about graphics cards and RPGs all the time. 🙁
(Also, if being an adult means I can’t play Portal 2, then who the hell wants to be an adult?)
“It even has vegetables” Have you been in my house around dinnertime??
This is an out and out lie. I am *terrible* at massages.
But you can still offer!
I have friends where the proposal went like this. She points out that it was doubly effective because it was commonplace enough that she didn’t see it coming. (Hey, I’m out of work early, do you mind X for dinner? I thought I’d open this good wine because it’s a such a nice night.)
I loudly and repeatedly state that their proposal story is the most perfect proposal story ever, to the point that other people start to edge away and they’re a little embarrassed.
Manic Pixie Dream Wife
I call bs on this. I’m absolutely up for much fun and hilarity with the Handsome Sidekick, but who has the energy to run around with nerf guns at the end of a long day?
I would rather make dinner together and sit down and eat it and talk to each other. I guess maybe that just makes me old.
No, it makes you *mature*. Only a child – or someone of equivalently limited experience – thinks a nerf game at the end of the work day is a good idea.
Hey, come on, this is kind of mean. Different people find different things fun.
Apologies. Your reminder inspired me to give more thought to how this might be fun as a surprise at the end of a long day. Once. I still think it’s an idea that would only come to someone less experienced with commuting in traffic, long and unappreciated work, and job insecurity. But you’re right to call out my judgementalism. Mea culpa.
Seems fake, right? Or at least doctored up for sharing? Because who writes letters to “Husband” and signs them “Wife.”
But anyway, I totally agree that it seems more like a teenager’s fantasy of the perfect woman than real life. Still, I think I am less annoyed at the concept than the whole FB-shared photo meme, which just seems like part of the Pinterestization of domestic life where you can’t just chill with your kids or have some spontaneous fun with your husband, it’s got to be a big cutesy thing.
Oh definitely, it has to be fake! Which just adds to the obnoxiousness. I mean, if one of my friends actually posted a picture of a nerf battle with her SO, fine, cool, whatever. But to be held up as the “perfect marriage” and spread all over the internet as an ideal is revolting.
Yes, exactly! Soooo tired of that sort of thing.
+1 for “the Pinterestization of domestic life,” and also +1 to the idea that not everything must be perfection to be captured on a blog, some things are just enjoyable but not photo-ready.
Yes I totally agree that the obnoxiousness comes from the feeling that this was only done to be shared and liked and for the people involved to feel self-congratulatory.
As to the game itself, I’d rather not yuck someone else’s yums, so if they have time for playtime before dinner, so be it.
“…seems like part of the Pinterestization of domestic life where you can’t just chill with your kids or have some spontaneous fun with your husband, it’s got to be a big cutesy thing. ”
TOTALLY. (And I am similarly irritated by this.)
I call my husband “spouse”, but usually as part of a request for comfort.
“SPOUSE. I REQUIRE HUGS.”
Arrrrgh yes that annoyed me so much! One, for the reasons you listed, and two, because I am particularly not a fan of shooting games (especially as like, a sign of love? or something?). What can I say, I’m a pacifist feminist killjoy.
I like this only because I often get home significantly later than my cohabiton & also we live in a 1 bedroom so I’m picturing him hiding in a wardrobe clutching a Nerf gun for 4 hours like “BUT I’M SO FUN”
Haha, yeah! We have cats who follow us around our small apartment, so any game of hide and seek would not last very long.
“Why are you hiding behind the chair. It is time to feed me dinner.”
So… all I have to do to escape making dinner is crouch in an alcove for fifteen minutes? Can I bring a book?
“I am hiding somewhere in the house.” is waaaay better strategically that “I’m looking for someone hiding somewhere in the house.”
Giving people drugs against their will could kill them. This is not safe, he could have overdosed her. Anyone who so much as gives a beer to a teenager gets in huge trouble. So how come it’s totally all right to drug your wife?
Yes! I know someone whose schizophrenia was initially triggered by her husband putting LSD in her orange juice at breakfast as a joke. She didn’t know what was going on, and it triggered a break. He did it in the late1970s — they are divorced now and she still has the schizophrenia triggered by this event. She had to give up her career as an artist and lives at home with her aged mother and is in a lot of suffering because of the illness. Drugging someone without their knowledge is a terrible thing to do with truly unforeseeable consequences.
This happened to my brother, too; attended a rave, his so-called friends fed him ecstasy mixed with something, and within days he was climbing the power poles outside our house trying to shut off the messages that were boring into his mind.
He never recovered his sanity, lost his job, etc. Today he’s functional and lives in a safe and supportive space (his social and case workers are freaking godsends) but I still grieve for “the brother that was”, you know?
I’m so sorry to hear about your brother and glad he found some peace but whaaaaaaat the fuck. come on people. come on (I say this as a practitioner of harm reduction), that is so fucked up.
I have been wondering about men’s leg placement on public transport. I don’t think all of those guys are cat lovers though.
I feel a lot can be explained under the heading of “testicular issues.”
“Testicular issues” is a marvelous phrase:
“He bought a new truck, because he has testicular issues.”
“He spent three hours explaining to the plumber how to fix the toilet, because he has testicular issues.”
“He talked over me in a meeting because he has testicular issues.”
“Dude weighs 150 pounds max, but he takes up two seats on a bus because he has testicular issues.”
I suspect this is sacrilege, but even if mind palaces are a real thing, they are still completely ridiculous as a plot point.
That cat thing is giving men too much credit and I will not stand for it.
I just started the Reykjavik Confessions and holy cow is this a Jo Nesbo novel and I wish they didn’t have that super creepy picture at the beginning.
I think it is super obvious that Gudmundur Einarsson fell into a spacetime portal and went back in time to become Oscar Wilde (also explaining why Wilde was gay).
J E N N Y L E W I S
My cat had been missing for a couple days, and we were fretting and wringing our hands and meeting the neighbors.
Turns out he was in the neighbor’s basement. After coming inside, eating, drinking, and pooping, he is currently standing at their basement door, demanding to be let back in.
Now I can enjoy the kitties and subway article! Hurrah!
Also, pro tip: a woman holding a can of cat food can go anywhere. Backyards, inside sheds and garages – it’s a passport to private property!
I was shouting about the making room for cats blag with a friend and came up with some True Statements From Men About Their Cats:
A MAN’S CATS ARE SO IMPORTANT
WOMEN JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH ROOM A MAN NEEDS FOR HIS CATS
NO BUT REALLY, MY CATS
CATS GOTTA BREATHE
MEN HAVE CATS OKAY AND THEY DON’T LIKE BEING SQUISHED
YOU LADIES WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND ABOUT CATS
EXCUSE ME, FEMALES
[crouches in the corner, hissing “all men are garbage”]
i clicked on the memory palaces link because i wanted them to talk about how great giordano bruno was
they did not. 🙁
Not eligible for Prime, though *has a sad*