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RIP, James Foley. Here’s a piece from 2013 by his friend Clare Gillis.

Tits and Sass (always excellent) on sex work and partner violence:

When I was working at a dungeon, on top of having abusive management, I stumbled into an abusive living situation as well. And every day, I thought to myself, “I don’t deserve to be loved by anyone at home because of what I do.” Which is totally backwards, but we live in a crazy whorephobic world, so it’s very easy to slip into these bad personal situations and ideas while working. Most of the rest of the world supports these kinds of ideas, but that doesn’t make them any less abusive. Just know you deserve to be loved, period. You aren’t “lucky” to have found a guy who vaguely accepts what you do most of the time but calls you a whore when he’s really angry. He hasn’t truly accepted your work, and he’s a dick. I was being told things like, “You don’t deserve food” by people at home and at work. Recognize when people are saying insane shit like that. It is verbal abuse and nothing about your job changes that. I am still recovering from that experience, and it happened over a year ago.

It was nice to read this yesterday.

Friend of The Toast Alexis Coe reports that she is now up to 30 Tramp pushups. Editor of The Toast Nicole Cliffe is now down to [Redacted] TRX pushups, as her belly hits the ground before her triceps have much to do at this point.

UH, YEAH, feel like I could have heard more about this in the news coverage of Jay Adams’ death!

While I appreciate Adams’s contribution to skateboarding as much as the next guy, it seems odd that virtually every obituary published over the last four days has glossed over or completely failed to mention that one time in 1982 when he helped kill a guy. Adams, describing the incident to Juice magazine in 2000, said, “After a show at the Starwood we went to a place called the Okiedogs and two homosexual guys walked by and I started a fight.” One of those homosexuals was named Dan Bradbury, and, as mentioned above, was killed in the brawl. Although Adams was charged with murder, he claimed that he had left the fight by the time the man died, and was convicted of felony assault. He served just six months in prison.

“it’s just a sex thing, whatever, do it or don’t do it” is my answer to so many Prudie questions:

Q. Giving Wife a Free Pass: So, my wife just turned 50 and I offered her a free pass to find a man or woman and have a fling. I would be fine with her doing it with me there or on her own and telling me about it afterward. We have used this fantasy for most of our 14 year marriage. Now that I offer it to her, she’s mad, saying I must not love her. I do and it is a big turn on. Am I a bad husband?


E.B. Bartels, of yesterday’s Dead Pet fame, found some old Polaroids of Aristotle after the piece went live, so I thought I’d let you see the lil dude:

Aristotle & Gwen & me

Kacy Kacy Kacy Kacy KACY KACY KACY

My mom and husband and I watched the all-time best episode of Inspector Morse last night, “Second Time Around.” I have probably seen it eight times, but Morse episodes are so complicated that I never really remember the specifics, I just kind of let the performances wash over me. But the three main things about last night, for me, and “Second Time Around,” were a) oh, what a perfect show! What a perfect, perfect show Inspector Morse was (giving Endeavour a shot now, by the way) and b) the scene in which Morse beats the old woman whose granddaughter’s cold case murder he has just solved in a game of chess, and Lewis says “you couldn’t let her win?” and Morse looks at him in DISGUST and says “that is the worst kind of deception.” And I realized, hearing that line, that that is the exact (intentional) phrasing my father used in response to me when I said “I feel like Germany could have let up on Brazil a bit.” And then, c) the fact that we kind of ape our parents’ marriages in one way or another, regardless of their success or failure, and I’ve always wanted to be married to someone who would watch Inspector Morse with me and enjoy it, because marriage is about drinking tea companionably while watching British mysteries.

Oh, and d) the recurring musical motif in the episode is “Senza Mamma” from Puccini’s “Suor Angelica.” KINDA GETS YOU. KINDA GETS YOU IN THE HEART.

The world lost one hell of an art historian last week.

It’s been TEN YEARS since Rilo Kiley’s “More Adventurous,” so here’s the video for “Portions for Foxes”:

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