“For an Asian girl, you sure are cool.”
“I know all about the 38th parallel.”
“I bet you give really good massages.”
“Will you walk on my back?”
“I know karate.”
“I know tae kwon do.”
“You look like a gal I had during the war.”
“I heard Asian girls love to fuck.”
“You remind me of my fourth wife.”
“I love Thai food.”
“Asians ride for free.”
“I have yellow fever and you’re the cure.”
“Are you half? Half-sexy, half fine.”
“I’m done with white girls. They are too much drama.”
“I’m done with black girls. They are too much drama.”
“I’ve always wanted to date an Asian girl.”
“I love your almond-shaped eyes.”
“Say it in Chinese.”
“I love Korean BBQ.”
“Do you really eat dogs?”
“You don’t have an accent.”
“You talk like a white girl.”
“You like the white boys, don’t you?”
“…you look exactly like Lucy Liu.”
“…you look exactly like Kelly Hu.”
“…you look exactly like Margaret Cho.”
“What are you?”
“Where are you from?”
“But where are you really from?”
“No, really, what’s your nationality?”
“So is it true? Is your pussy slanted?”
Tags: come on guys get it together, ew, racism, victoria namkung
I always kind of assumed that pussies are slanted by default? Seeing as how there’s a definite angle to the pelvic floor? The fuck is going on in cis guys’ heads?
I’ve never really been able to figure out which axis it’s supposed to be flipped along.
um, I fear by slanted they mean, um…..left to right instead of back to front. Sorry for the image…
I have no response other than
???????????????????
Ugh, I hate men who think that Asian women are submissive and easy.
Oh, and why do they expect educated Asian women to act like some kind of ridiculous stereotype? I have seen men who will say when they see an Oriental looking woman, “Ni hao!” and expect us to be flattered. Not all of us are into sushi and anime. *facepalm*
I’ve gotten “Ni hao!” “Do you know Lucy Liu?” and stuff like “Are you from China or Korea?”
(I’m Filipino.) And STFU.
“Asians ride for free.””
HAS THIS EVER WORKED ON ANYONE, EVER, IN HUMAN HISTORY? This is the exact opposite of a good pickup line! “Well, I was concerned that I was going to have to pay to fuck you, but now that it’s free–there’s a broom closet over there!”
“Wow, this complete stranger is willing to have sex with me? I have to seize this opportunity – I might never get another!”
Promotional pricing this week only!
“So is it true? Is your pussy slanted?”
WHAT!?
Heyyy baby, my big brother says geeners are located somewhere around the bellybutton area but we need a broader data pool to pass peer review at the clubhouse. Howsabout we both roll on back to my pillow fort and, uh, you show me yours and I show you mine?
Heh, the ladies always fall for the ol’ sexy science toddler.
“Geener”!? *barfs everywhere
So, I got this question for the first time in third grade, maybe fourth? A white girl in my class asked me “Do you have a sideways vagina?” — she said her big brother told her that “Asian girls have those.”
“But where are you really from?” – the berserk button of every immigrant kid in the world.
Especially infuriating when asked by people who have probably never heard of the country you’re “really” from and could certainly never place it on a map if they had to.
i am from your worst nightmares
kneel before me
this is way off-topic but I just realized your username is a reference to Ada or Ardor and that’s my favourite book ever, hi
This video is the best: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWynJkN5HbQ
the fuck, with these lines.
Grr. I speak Cantonese! You know, the dominant language in terms of the Chinese culture you do know — kung fu movies and the land of dim sum and glossy sauces on meat that you like so much. Do not assume I speak Mandarin. It’d make sense if we were in China, where most people speak Mandarin, but you don’t even realize most of the movies you watch and so much of the food you eat originates in Hong Kong and the province of Canton. UGH. I DON’T SPEAK MANDARIN.
“My wife’s Chinese,” a man once told my dad after we ate at a diner somewhere in the southern US (sorry, we were driving to Florida and I was a kid – I don’t remember). Even at the time, I felt like I should keep my mouth shut lest I ruin this guy’s ideal of accented Chinese English.
Frankly, this is far from a bad one.
I would totally respond with some joke about Commit Privileges, har har
DAMMIT VICTORIA, assuming you selected the picture accompanying this article, because:
1) Nooooo, Adamaaaaaaa!! Shaaaaron!! D: D: D:
2) Also I hate you for making the thought of Adama hitting on Boomer even pass through my mind.
Aside from that, yes, carry on. By which I mean, set all these men on fire immediately.
…Or ladies. I suppose there are probably women who use horrible racists pickup lines on Asian women. Set them on fire also.
Ha, actually Nicole picked the photo!
*shakes fist at Nicole*
🙂 you’re the only person who’s ever said anything to me about it. good eye.
ETA: this is in reply to winterbymorning about ada
I’ll never forget this one time my dad, stepmother and I were in a cab in SF and the cabbie started talking to my dad about how awesome “Asian” women were and how submissive and quiet. I was ready to reach out and strangle him with his own fucking seatbelt.
“You don’t have an accent.”
*VIBRATES*
i had an argument with a friend once who insisted she didn’t hear it, and “i would’ve thought you were born here if you never told me!!” oh, to be young and have so much inexplicable rage.
Not a pickup line, but during a first date: ‘You’re the funniest Asian girl I’ve ever met.’
There was not a second date.
I also got ‘you don’t sound Asian’ a lot but that’s a whole ‘nother kettle of fish from when I was an international student in Ohio
Oh man, when I was in a long-term relationship with a Chinese woman, my Hungarian-Australian grandfather asked me “So, is it true?” – apparently a prevailing meme of the 1950s. And yes, it’s the horizontal/vertical thing.
My boggled WTF reaction was quite something.
My favorite personal experience was the checkout guy babbling what turned out to be “konichiwa ni hao annyong” over and over at me in an attempt, I guess, to determine “which kind” I was. I seriously thought for a moment that he was having a stroke.
You just made me laugh really hard.
“Ni Hao.” Because yes, even WERE I a) Chinese and b) available, all it takes is for someone to say HEY
Oh god exactly. I always wondered what they expect would come next. “Yes, you have successfully guessed my grandparents’ origin of birth! I will now drop trou and we will totally bang for hours right here in the street!”
“you have such tiny feet, do you bind them?”
Really? Do you need a history lesson as well?
Oh hell no!
my most favorite, upon breaking up with a lukewarm, semi-regular hookup: “this was a god experience…i think i’m only going to date ethnic girls from now on.”
*shudder*
A friend who was born and raised in this country told me once that sometimes she gets told “you speak English really well”. I said that she should say “thanks, so do you” but she won’t.
I’ve gotten this as New Zealander, and I tend to go with a ‘thanks so do you’. Tho it would make me madder if I got it in NZ rather than overseas when I am actually foreign
Is it just me or is there a suspicious amount of overlap between the content of this article and this (much older) video? http://youtu.be/2TK02tMOp_g
I wish. I think this is bc men say these things to Asian women.
These are all real things said to me and my friends. If they are also in a video it’s because we are not alone.
Witnessed the following… “exchange” between two customers. Him: “Ni hao!” Her: *ignore* Him: “Ni hao!” Her: *ignore more* Him: *turns to friend* “You can tell she’s Chinese, because she’s so tiny.” Turns back to her: “Ni hao!” Her: *ignore most*.
She’s Vietnamese.
vom vom vom
I sincerely hope none of these people ever have sex again.
In a northern English accent: “Sayo-nara! Does that mean, like, hiya?” It’s my personal favourite because I just boomed, “NO!” and walked away.
“Will you love me long time?”
Homeless guy yelling at me outside Walmart.
If someone tries that “ni hao” or “konnichiwa” shit on me, I slowly say “DO….YOU….SPEAK…..ENGLISH?” in a really patronizing way. (I only do that if I think the person is non-Asian, isn’t able to physically harm me for whatever reason and has asshole vibes.)
OMG I’m going to start doing that! Thanks!!
This video is the best: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWynJkN5HbQ
Doesn’t it just suck that people can say these totally rude things, and you can’t call them out on it because you are afraid they will cause you actual physical harm? So then they continue to assume that they are just being lovable doofs?
Doesn't it just suck that people can say these totally rude things, and you can't call them out on it because you are afraid they will cause you actual physical harm? So then they continue to assume that they are just being lovable doofs?
My husband is Korean and, of all people, my father made the stereotypical comment about Asian penis size. I was grossed out and disgusted. Luckily, I don’t think my husband heard what my idiotic father said.
You made me spit on my phone! Bahahahahaha!
God! I was working dorm security in the football hall in college ( foreshadowing right there) . My fellow worker was "Linda" ( she preferred to be called that) who was Korean transfer student. A male proceeded to aggravate her by saying " konichwa sweetie etc "over and over. Finally he walks out and yells at me " bye fatass (I'm plus sized) and stuck up (vulgar WW2 era slang for a Japanese person) bitch.
To which I screamed " She's a Korean Bitch , you dick".
Linda laughed so hard she snorted.
It was college.