Liana Finck’s first graphic novel, A Bintel Brief, was published by Ecco Press. Her cartoons and comics appear in The New Yorker, The Toast, The Forward, and Lilith Magazine.
21 Comments
Chance_Hale+48
MERMAN SPERM.
…merman sperm
Frumiosa+22
Ethel Merman sperm tho?
RuncibleSpoon+5
You’ll be swell! You’ll be great! Gonna have the chance to seminate!
SarcasticFringehead+5
I might need a print of that one.
RuncibleSpoon+1
Honestly, i liked that one so much I might print and frame it
Ross Thompson+2
Best ever, amirite?
blizzard+8
These are always great and that one is so great
Sporkening+16
“Your life’s work is so cute”… yeah, I get that too. Bonus: it turns me into awkward-hypnotic-stare-grin-person, because the only alternative that feels even remotely right is to DECK my INTERLOCUTOR in the FACE! I’ve tried withering sarcasm and it just doesn’t do the trick, probably because most people who say this genuinely mean it as a some kind of weird compliment? I don’t even know. My commiserations to your mom.
Also, the Nabokov thing is on POINT. You just never know, man… you just never know.
tinypaperme+7
I let an otherwise promising OKCupid convo lapse because when I told her what I do, she told me, “Oh, I didn’t know that was a thing!”
What I do isn’t even weird.
RuncibleSpoon+2
very very true. nabokov was a genius, and people better get that, but…
pinnipedd+13
Ugh, nosy food people – bane of my existence in the work kitchen!
nopemobile+42
One of the ladies at my job is a self-professed very huggy person but she actually asks if you want a hug and then respects whatever you tell her. It blows my mind.
Ethylbenzene+38
“girl crush”
treereenee+13
I am interpreting the last one as a toddler being presented with a spoonful of food which he previously gladly accepted. Specifically, my toddler.
This face is almost always followed by a dodge or parry.
Ayelle+11
The Nabokov one is everything.
pseudonymica
Brilliant as usual! I'm the awkward nodder but my stare is more hypnotized than hypnotic, I think.
I am going to imagine that ambush hugger's sinister arm and claw hand next time I see this guy who DJs with my boyfriend. He'd never said a word to me before, saw me hug a guy I actually know, and pulled that "don't you like me?" crap. So I felt obliged to hug him and he CRITIQUED MY HUG. Without a word to me, he told the other guy "I only got a one armed side hug but the pressure was decent."
Even before the hug he gave me that creepy feeling I've never been wrong about. You know, the "loves Nabokov for the wrong reasons" type. (Great classification system!)
PLUS, despite never speaking to me – aside from the hug and this other time when he asked me to bring drapes and decorate the club (ha! Shall I also make you a sandwich?) – his version of DJ booth guy gossip* is to interrogate my boyfriend about why we've been together for so long without getting married.
*Sometimes male DJ packs do the "check out that chick" thing but mostly, I'd say, if they're not talking about music or cables it's gossip.
Bothari
He demanded a hug…then critiqued it…to somebody else?!?!? That is the opposite of rad.
The Elitist Semicolon
I let an otherwise promising OKCupid convo lapse because when I told her what I do, she told me, "Oh, I didn't know that was a thing!"
What I do isn't even weird.
damanoid+3
That one sperm is about to sing that he just wants to take her time.
Xolandra
Nice ref. Full points, plus ten.
Xolandra
Next time he demands a hug, actively try to kidney punch him while he's judging your pressure and approach. It'll give him something wholly new to critique.
Note: I am not an actively violent person, despite all comments to the contrary.
MERMAN SPERM.
…merman sperm
Ethel Merman sperm tho?
You’ll be swell! You’ll be great! Gonna have the chance to seminate!
I might need a print of that one.
Honestly, i liked that one so much I might print and frame it
Best ever, amirite?
These are always great and that one is so great
“Your life’s work is so cute”… yeah, I get that too. Bonus: it turns me into awkward-hypnotic-stare-grin-person, because the only alternative that feels even remotely right is to DECK my INTERLOCUTOR in the FACE! I’ve tried withering sarcasm and it just doesn’t do the trick, probably because most people who say this genuinely mean it as a some kind of weird compliment? I don’t even know. My commiserations to your mom.
Also, the Nabokov thing is on POINT. You just never know, man… you just never know.
I let an otherwise promising OKCupid convo lapse because when I told her what I do, she told me, “Oh, I didn’t know that was a thing!”
What I do isn’t even weird.
very very true. nabokov was a genius, and people better get that, but…
Ugh, nosy food people – bane of my existence in the work kitchen!
One of the ladies at my job is a self-professed very huggy person but she actually asks if you want a hug and then respects whatever you tell her. It blows my mind.
“girl crush”
I am interpreting the last one as a toddler being presented with a spoonful of food which he previously gladly accepted. Specifically, my toddler.
This face is almost always followed by a dodge or parry.
The Nabokov one is everything.
Brilliant as usual! I'm the awkward nodder but my stare is more hypnotized than hypnotic, I think.
I am going to imagine that ambush hugger's sinister arm and claw hand next time I see this guy who DJs with my boyfriend. He'd never said a word to me before, saw me hug a guy I actually know, and pulled that "don't you like me?" crap. So I felt obliged to hug him and he CRITIQUED MY HUG. Without a word to me, he told the other guy "I only got a one armed side hug but the pressure was decent."
Even before the hug he gave me that creepy feeling I've never been wrong about. You know, the "loves Nabokov for the wrong reasons" type. (Great classification system!)
PLUS, despite never speaking to me – aside from the hug and this other time when he asked me to bring drapes and decorate the club (ha! Shall I also make you a sandwich?) – his version of DJ booth guy gossip* is to interrogate my boyfriend about why we've been together for so long without getting married.
*Sometimes male DJ packs do the "check out that chick" thing but mostly, I'd say, if they're not talking about music or cables it's gossip.
He demanded a hug…then critiqued it…to somebody else?!?!? That is the opposite of rad.
I let an otherwise promising OKCupid convo lapse because when I told her what I do, she told me, "Oh, I didn't know that was a thing!"
What I do isn't even weird.
That one sperm is about to sing that he just wants to take her time.
Nice ref. Full points, plus ten.
Next time he demands a hug, actively try to kidney punch him while he's judging your pressure and approach. It'll give him something wholly new to critique.
Note: I am not an actively violent person, despite all comments to the contrary.