Geography According To Housewives In 1950s Pensacola -The Toast

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Home: The Toast

In my small collection of weird and old cookbooks is this delightful tome of “Brownbagger’s Recipes” from Pensacola, FL, published in 1956 by the CPO Wive’s club. The best part of it, besides recipes like “Frozen Salad,” are the maps of the world that begin each chapter. Let us journey through the world of this culinary paradise.


Right off the bat, “Chili Wind” sounds like farts. Get it together, ladies.


Addalyn Mooncatcher’s heart fluttered as she sailed down the Lime River toward the Tomato Red Sea. She had never left Punch Bowl in all her fifteen years. The sights of the Olive Oil Fields of the coast and the treacherous waters of the Thousand Islands her bedtime stories. But now that her father was missing, it was her duty to protect her family’s honor. She must find him, no matter where her journey takes her.


“Tartar-sau Ce” is far too much of a stretch to actually count as a pun. If you have to explain your pun in parentheses it is clearly not doing its job. At least go with “Tartar-SEA-ce.”


What’s something that every home cook should have in their kitchen and add to all their baked goods?

Yellow food coloring?

Yes, nailed it.


That one island looks like a dick, sorry.


“National Wildlife and Fruit Preserve” FINALLY A REASONABLE PUN.


For meat substitutes we actually have a treasure map, presumably because the three recipes in this section (Deviled eggs, punch and “Sandwich Deluxe”) are so disappointing they need to be preceded by an actual adventure so you don’t feel totally cheated. FYI the sandwich includes ham so what even is the meat substitute here?


Death awaits all those who enter the Diet Section.


Thank you for coming on this journey with me. Here is a recipe for “Preserved Children” included in this book that was definitely written by normal housewives and not demons.


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