Every Perfect Sentence I Have Found In The Lady -The Toast

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The Lady is a British magazine that was introduced to me by my dear friend Victoria, and something that I’m sure many of you are familiar with already. But oh how my life has improved since reading it. This is Town & Country on steroids. Every sentence in it is beautiful, but these are the most perfect sentences. I have henceforth abandoned writing, as I will never be this charming.

“Tania Kindersley lives in the North East of Scotland with two amiable lab collie crosses and one very grumpy Gloucester Old Spot pig.”

“Many restaurants, in quest of novelty, have dispensed with the long tradition of plates.”

“Virgo: An airy-fairy plan starts to solidify though you may not yet have grasped quite what a change this can bring.”

“The beloved pooch who became The Lady’s canine columnist is struggling in her twilight years, but Rachel Johnson is determined to give her a dignified goodbye.”

“I don’t care about the age thing at all. I just care about being nearer to death, which is something I don’t want.”

“Common sense is sadly not so common amongst humans and comes in spite of, and not the result of, education.”

I’m eating a chicken burger with a pint of Suffolk Gold ale and Fulham are 4-0 up against Chelsea.”

“At our own dear Treby Arms in Sparkwell, Devon, my mother was disconcerted by the pudding-in-a-jar phenomenon, although not as much as by the pudding-in-a-flowerpot.”

“Two of the blessings of winter in a seaside town are beaches empty enough to give the impression of private ownership and the reduction in the number of seagulls.”

“I was somewhat stunned to receive an email last week that began: ‘Hey, Annie’. Isn’t this rather familiar from someone who doesn’t know me? I have no idea how to reply.”

“Rhubarb, it turns out, has a bleaching quality and has left two pale marks on my good bone slacks.”

By the time the PDSA pet slimmer of the year is announced in December, a team of podgy pooches, chunky cats, a roly-poly rabbit and even a rotund rat will have had six months to shed their excess weight.”

I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been compared to a Labrador.”

Next week: Boat painters.”

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