107 Comments

  4. cleoreads +26

    Mr Cleo grew up with Boston Terriers, so we always stop to admire any we see on the street. And they are very dapper.

    1. Meg +12

      We have a Boston. She is the best. She is the dapperest of all possible dapper duchesses. Alas, we will never have another because we got her when we were young and dumb and lazy and didn’t bother to look into genetic issues. The very, very expensive genetic issues. Also we bought her from a very odd lady who I am now convinced was a puppy mill.

      1. mbculver +22

        Our friend’s parents had a Boston (in Boston) and we’d visit them a lot during grad school. She was very dapper, and a fabulous dancer, and also very particular about what she ate – basically a microcosm of the family meal. For dessert she had 2 Hershey’s kisses. Every day. For 17 years. 🙂

        1. Meg +8

          She is very fastidious. She basically trained herself to go to the bathroom outside because she felt horrified at being in the same room as her excretions. Like, I would come home to let her outside mid-day and never even got on to her about going inside because she was clearly so upset about it. She performs tragic arias when she decides it’s time to be fed.

    1. Household_Opera +36

      I figured Sansa was a shepherd/some other large fluffy dog breed mix — and now we know which ones.

      1. Katiezog +74

        WE KNOW THE INGREDIENTS NOW!! I can now cancel my expensive dog cloning plans.

      2. SingArielSing +18

        I KNOW, this piece was very charming and funny, but finally knowing what Sansa is was truly what set my heart a-racing. Shepherd/malamute/mastiff! It seems so obvious now!

    2. Zombie Nurse +2

      I was totally convinced she was a Shiloh Shepard! Now all has been revealed!

    3. MissBadcrumble +4

      I went too google the breeds, I accidentaly googled maltezer instead of mastiff, and was very confused.

  6. zachariahary +72

    So all of these charmed me, but oh that lil’ Weimaraner with their lil’ blue eyes peaking coyly, hopefully through the grass. You’re a good pup-a-dup, aren’t you?
    *gravely serious Jack Donaghy voice*
    Yes.
    Yes, you are a good pup-a-dup.

    1. nopemobile +18

      Thank you for so accurately capturing my nonverbal, high-pitched reaction to that picture in words

  7. LackStratagem +50

    You want a daughter but you don’t want her to be hotter than you.

    OMG, I have thought this about every King Charles Cavalier I have ever laid eyes on. But those dogs kill it with the jolie laide, and end up hotter than their owners anyway.

    1. pigeonsquid +12

      When I was in grade school, the neighborhood school-bus stop was right next to the front yard of a house that had a King Charles Cavalier and I’d always hop the fence to hang out with him until the bus came! He was a very good boy; I have no regrets.

    2. PomoFrannyGlass +14

      The dumbest dog I ever met was a King Charles Cavalier; do with that info what you will.

      1. walrathem +8

        Okay but for some of us that’s a plus. If you’ve ever had to live with a dog who was as smart as you and more stubborn & melodramatic (*cough*long-haired dachshund*cough*) a stupid placid dog starts to sound pretty nice.

        1. PomoFrannyGlass +4

          Haha, fair enough. This particular dog’s stupidity was troublesome, like, “hi guys we’re here for the picnic with our cute pup! And will be leaving immediately bc pup has harmed/sickened/soiled himself bye!” — every time.

          1. walrathem +4

            That’s so sad! But people should know if their dog is a “take places” dog or not.

            PS this entire thread made me hanker for the Murphy Trash Dog storify and it was as funny as I remember.

  12. fauxkaren +20

    I have a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel… and this description seems fair. lmao.

    She is my babyyyyyy.

  13. awfulvelocipedestrienne +48

    The new Pottermore sorted me into Hufflepuff instead of Gryffindor, which prompted an existential crisis, but apparently it means I get a lab, so I guess I’m okay with it after all.

    1. kimmiegirl +8

      Also a Hufflepuff. I have been told that this is the correct decision by pretty much everyone who knows me so I’m not fighting it. Plus I like labs.

      I’m very glad to know exactly what Sansa the floof is.

    3. walrathem +5

      I think a lot of Hufflepuff traits are just maturity in general though. You’re supposed to be in your house as a child and a teenager so it doesn’t really work when you try to take it as an adult.

    4. awfulvelocipedestrienne +4

      Hmm. So, I just retook it with a different email (what, like no one else here has done that?), and answered maybe one question differently and I got Gryffindor. I guess I’m a Gryfflepuff.

  14. mkpatter +40

    *gets to Irish Setter*
    CHAUNCEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!
    Apparently I still have Chauncey feels like 10 years later.

    1. ayelltee +27

      Truth. You know that bony bump that Irish setters have on top of their heads? Our vet called it a “dumb point” when speaking of our not-bright setter Clancy. High energy, good hearted, would romp and play for days, stupid as a stump.

      1. tragicallyludicrous +14

        My parents’ beloved (and mythologized) former dog was half German Shorthaired Pointer, half Irish Setter. She was pretty bright, so my parents were sort of amazed when they met a full Irish Setter.

      2. mbculver +19

        AHAHAHA our neighbors had an Irish setter named Clancy. So friendly, so adorable, and dumb as a box of rocks.

        1. Susan +7

          I love how if you get an Irish Setter you are contractually obliged to name it something DISTINCTLY IRISH.

    2. Impractical_Cat +19

      Awww but there was an Irish Setter who used to live at the end of my close and she was so well trained! She never needed to be on a lead, and she used to trot along carrying her owner’s folded umbrella. :’) She was a good dog.

  16. bocadelperro +59

    Pembroke Corgi: you are a stubborn, unfriendly, destructive, high maintenence misanthrope. Everyone loves you and nobody seems to notice.

    2. deleted6707794 +10

      As a big dog supremacist, I have noticed the inferiority of corgis and their stumpy legged ilk.

      1. Mairead +7

        As a dachshund purist, I just wish to quote Les Barker at both of you–

        I looked at that long-wheelbased dog in the window,
        I heard that mysterious voice in my ear,
        “Forget them Alsatians and setters and wolfhounds,”
        It said, “You don’t need all them big bastards, dear.”

        Whoop-i-tee I O, git a long little doggy,
        A poor young dachshund and take him back home,
        Whoop-i-tee I O, you don’t want them corgies,
        Git a long little doggy, and give him a bone.

      1. bocadelperro +2

        Wasn’t sure if I was talking about me our my dog there, tbqh.
        (My dog is actually super sweet and loves people, but that’s unusual for the breed)

    5. RosaRachel +10

      Your short stature means people assume you’re a city girl but really you long for wide open spaces.

    6. Unreadaethel +3

      There are corgis down the street from me. They bark like crazy at anyone who walks past their tall fence.

      1. tinypaperme +3

        There’s some small ratty hairy thing down the road from me and it’s been in a cone for the three years I’ve lived here. For the first two years, it would hide behind a tree and then come tearing out, barking furiously, every time I walked by, scaring me half to death. Then one day it came tearing out, barking furiously, but miscalculated the distance and smacked cone-first into the wrought-iron fence, landing on its scruffy ass.

        Dog hasn’t barked at me since.

    8. sorrycassandra +5

      My parents have a corgi who is all of these things except unfriendly. She is very friendly. She is so friendly that she throws tantrums if you are walking her down the street and people do not stop to coo over her adorableness and scritch her ears. She demands homage and will chew on anything in her path. She is too smart for anyone’s good. She is a skilled manipulator. She is delighted to make the beagle temporarily resident in their house into her minion. The beagle accepts it, because the beagle is, to put it charitably, not an intellectual.

      I admire the hell out of corgis, but I’m not sure I could live with one.

      1. bocadelperro +4

        My own corgi is a lot like you described, but I have known some very unfriendly ones. Nobody seems to notice or mind, however. I swear the leg:ear ratio throws everyone off.

  19. typewriterandgramophone +88

    Jack Russell: every week, events in your life mirror those in whatever work of fiction you’re reading.

    1. godzillas_pizza +7

      My internet points! Take them! I need them no longer!
      A+ reference for real

  20. Impractical_Cat +18

    American cocker spaniels always look a bit malevolent to me, like the moustache-twirling villainous cousin of the English cocker. (this may have something to do with the fact that every one I’ve met has done its best to bite me)

    1. crickwooder +4

      They’re devils. My old sitter had one, and the only person that dog listened to was her husband. The dog wasn’t a biter and he was okay with my kids, but when I’d pick them up at the end of the day that damn dog would slip out of the house and chase my car down the street for three blocks. I never hit him, thank goodness, but he got biffed at least twice by neighbors and never got a scratch.

    2. knitting_pun +10

      I think it’s because they were the It dog of the late 80’s. So they were terribly over-bred, yielding awful nasty snarly bitey dogs. I lived down the street from one as a kid, and we always dreaded walking by its house. It was well-behaved enough to stay in its own yard, but it was a piece. of. work.

      1. kelpsoda +3

        Were they a thing in the 80s? That explains why my parents had 3 of them. They were dumb as mud. 🙁 nice, but stupid.

    3. Fearsomereader +4

      I blame that stupid fur cut. I’ve got a sweet, incredibly dumb spaniel who has skin allergies. Long fur bothers him so we keep it short and leave just enough fluff on the legs to keep him from looking ridiculously unbalanced. Riley also may just be too daft to actually cause trouble, though.

    4. beaucoup1314 +6

      This makes sad. The first dog we ever had in our family back in the 50s was Buffie, a Cocker spaniel. She was good with us as small children. She died at an old age in the 60s. She was a good dog. I am sorry to read that these spaniels have been bred out of the good traits

    1. saffiedarling +18

      True story – my mum recently selected a whippet as her dog by googling ‘dogs that are most like cats’. A+ breed selecting technique, would obtain cat/dog again.

        1. Zelenka +11

          Whippets sleep literally twenty hours a day, in your bed. Mine even purrs, although not well. (When I rub his ears, he sighs and groans.) Basenjis are clean and small and clever, but they have a more dog-like energy.

        2. crango +6

          My family has only had basenjis when I was growing up and I can confirm that they are basically just confused cats

  22. RudyRed +49

    Shetland Sheepdog: You do not do nearly as much outdoor activity as your Instagram would lead people to believe.

  23. cleoreads +13

    Hah. The first time I read this I was so focused on the lovely drawings and pretty, pretty dogs that I completely missed that the descriptions refer to the human owners not the dogs (or maybe they describe BOTH the human-humans and the fur humans).

  24. knitting_pun +35

    AUUUUGH I’m doing that thing where baby-crazy women see a baby and want a baby and omg babies babies babies.

    But with dogs. With all the dogs.

    2. PomoFrannyGlass +11

      Oh, that’s happened to me! I’ve been genuinely afraid that I will actually snatch a dog off the street and run home with it. I hope it never happens with babies. :-/

      1. alder_tree +9

        I regularly threaten to steal my friend’s lovely little mutt named Wickam, because he’s such a sweety and happy and small and so, so soft.

    3. hellinorthrashwood +5

      Same! I don’t really react at all when I see a baby, but when I see a cute dog, OH MAN.

      Also, I am incapable of cooing at babies in that high-pitched “baby-talk” voice… because I use that voice for dogs. It’s for adorable pets, not humans!

    1. Impractical_Cat +22

      And the nap must be taken sprawled on my back with all four legs in the air and my neck bent at an alarming angle, preferably occupying the entire sofa.

  26. bugpaste +28

    My stepdog is a Bichon. She is currently curled up next to me on the couch after eating her dinner with such aplomb that she hurled it back up and then ate it again. Can confirm, everything about them is true.

  28. RosaRachel +10

    I’ve always had poodles. I’m scared to ask. (None of them have ever had the froofy haircut though!)

    1. whollyword +17

      Answering using Poodle-owning aunt as a template:

      You like kayaking and camping and are dismayed that your dog didn’t get the memo that it is supposed to love water. You are almost always chilly. Your favorite ways to unwind are by making snarky jokes about your brother and by reading Georgette Heyer books and tossing pages into the campfire as you finish them, to save weight in your backpack on the return trip.

  29. clairebm +10

    Now see, I am a Ravenclaw, not a Hufflepuff, but my doofus of a lab is definitely a Hufflepuff himself, 100%

  31. PettyVengeanceFetish +12

    This post has warmed my sad and weary heart

    If someone owns a goldendoodle and they love it and it loves them then they are good people you will always feel safe around and will make good decisions and yes, yes I want to marry someone with this dog immediately.

  32. Phlebas +3

    I had a Nicole for several years. Real sweetheart. Highly recommended. Would feed again.

  35. StoatCat +10

    Pit Bull: Did somebody mention Michael Vick? Because now you feel stabby and you don’t know why.

  36. mariahnotmaria +11

    What about Portuguese Water Dogs!!!? They are what labradoodles are trying to be. I’ve never met an ugly PWD, but I have met many ugly labradoodles

    1. thefrantastiks +8

      Ok, so I literally just made an account so I could post this picture. Not an ugly labradoodle, per se: but one with terrifyingly human eyes. He belongs to my aunt.

  37. d0ughdeer +12

    Staffy: you have a heart of gold but you’re far too enthusiastic about literally everything, which can freak others out – jfc just chill for a sec.

  39. The Elitist Semicolon

    There's some small ratty hairy thing down the road from me and it's been in a cone for the three years I've lived here. For the first two years, it would hide behind a tree and then come tearing out, barking furiously, every time I walked by, scaring me half to death. Then one day it came tearing out, barking furiously, but miscalculated the distance and smacked cone-first into the wrought-iron fence, landing on its scruffy ass.

    Dog hasn't barked at me since.