- Slytherins definitely have the best music taste.
- I am extremely loyal but not blindly so. I will do anything to protect my friends once they’ve earned my trust and it takes a lot for them to break it, but once that line is crossed it is scorched fucking earth and I do not see a problem with that.
- Not all Slytherins are wizard Nazis.
- There’s nothing wrong with being judicious, and maybe edging on shrewd, about your time and energy. I’m a busy woman and can’t be wasting time on relationships that aren’t at least mutually emotionally fulfilling.
- Slytherins are really smart but aren’t showoffs about it (looking at you, Ravenclaw).
- Snakes are rad.
- I just watched Magic Mike XXL again and Rome totally seems like she’d be a Slytherin.
- Labels are meaningless. You can’t see borders from space, man.
- Slytherins have to have the best sex. They have to. Badgers just don’t have good sex.
- Merlin himself was a Slytherin! Merlin!
- I strive to be very kind and I’m probably more of a Slytherpuff but Pottermore just doesn’t know me like that so it should quit judging me so quickly, you know?
- Yes I know the Sorting Hat lets you choose but honestly I’d take Slytherin over hanging with the jocks over in Gryffindor.
- People who have the ability to do magic are objectively better than those who can’t. That’s just a fact. I don’t understand why that’s a problem.
- It’s fine. I’m fine.
- I’m probably not a good Slytherin because if I were I’d be better at hiding my feelings.
- “Slytherins tend to hesitate before acting, so as to weigh all possible outcomes before deciding exactly what should be done.” Oh yup, yup yup yup.
- Okay so I’m a mediocre Slytherin who is very resourceful and ambitious but doesn’t let that get in the way of friendship.
- Once again, who cares, I can do magic.
[Image via]
Lin-Manuel Miranda is a self-proclaimed Slytherin, so I feel like that settles it: https://twitter.com/Lin_Manuel/status/66637008626…
If it makes you feel any better, even the Sorting Hat itself is ambivalent about the existence of houses, so.
Also, I definitely did *not* make a second account under my college email address so I could take the sorting quiz again and skew it towards my preferred house. Nope, must be someone else you’re thinking of entirely….
And I’m definitely not borrowing this idea.
I feel like the Sorting Hat would be amazing to smoke a bowl with and debate the existence of basically everything. “You know, my dudes, are there really very many differences in these students? Isn’t Hermione Granger just a Ravenclaw who feels the need to protect her idiot Gryffindor friends from getting themselves killed? Aren’t we all just trying to do the best we can? What even is “the best we can?””
NEW HEADCANON.
STONER SORTING HAT: Slytherins aren’t the only green folk around here.
I have a lot of headcanon about thinking magical objects in various universes and what they think about during the long periods when no one engages them. A lot of them are insane.
i have nothing to add but i want to thank you both for this thread. i never knew i wanted to get high with the sorting hat, and now it’s my deepest desire.
and i’m now also overwhelmed with pity for every object in the Hoarder Room of Requirement, or whatever it was called.
The Room of Hidden Things? SO MANY FEELS.
My immediate pity was for the items in the Library on The Librarians
I think they hang out together and gossip about the various child wizards/ignorant heroes/helpless human types they have to deal with in their on-stage moments.
Def.
I would totally read a Hat-centric fic, should you ever feel compelled to write your headcanon down and share it.
One of the first Discworld books centers on a magical hat that becomes sentient over the centuries as enlightened magical minds have worn it. I want to say it was Sourcery.
It is, and while it was not the first time I had considered the life of the sentient object, it has only increased my theories.
I would like to subscribe to this newsletter.
Neville Longbottom saves T.S. Hat from burning to death and pulls the sword from it and is professor of Herbology.
I’m not sayin’ they stayed friends and got high every Friday afterwards. But I’m sayin’.
!!!
NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM: HERO, PROFESSOR, HIGHER THAN A GIRAFFE’S ASS.
Neville ran the resistance for what a year while Harry and crew sat in a tent in the woods? Ran the resistance while embedded in absolute center of Voldemort’s power. Dude saw some shit he wants forget, no question.
Shit, you’re right. Neville, Luna and the Weasley women: MVPs of book 7.
I wonder what Wizarding therapy is like for PTSD.
I’m going to go out on a limb here and say “terrible.”
We know they can remove memories for storage. I bet they just pull out the trauma and call it a day.
Which is probably effective for single events, if somewhat philosophically terrifying. For things like year long trauma they probably throw their hands up and say good luck.
Considering the sweet fuck-all they did for Harry after the murder of his parents, years of abuse at the hands of his guardians, and yearly assassination attempts, I think even going that far would be a step forward. At least they’d be acknowledging that there was some form of PTSD there at all.
In the meantime Neville will be the first to tell you that toking up really takes the edge off, y’know, man?
And he’ll give you a really amazing blend that you would never have come up with on your own. He just came up with it one day while messing around in the Herbology shed, it’s nothing, really.
I love this.
I think the Sorting Hat knew ahead of time that shit was going to go down, and that Harry Potter would need at least one person capable of long-range planning and abstract thought on his team.
The Sorting Hat probably looked inside Harry’s head and thought, “Dear God, you have the impulse control and social graces of an angry baby possum who’s been swimming in Moaning Myrtle’s toilet hooch. Let’s make sure you get with someone who’s got some sense.”
“Moaning Myrtle’s Toilet Hooch” is either the best name for a wizardrock band ever, or a nasty, nasty euphemism.
“Badgers just don’t have good sex.”
Disagree. Tonks very clearly had AMAZING sex, and IMO with anyone she found attractive (pre-Remus) regardless of gender.
on the other hand, snakes have two penises so they can switch back and forth when one of them is spent, and I think that’s probably going to have a positive impact on sex-having
Having two penises is probably positive for the be-penised snake, but that snake is probably rubbish at foreplay…
well now I am going to be reading about the mating practices of snakes all day, so I hope you’re happy.
Oh man I was JUST coming over to say this and I’m so sad that you beat me to “snakes have two penises,” haha. That is a top Fun Fact I like to throw around
KA-KAW
Slytherins have two penises, is what I’m getting from this.
yeah i think it’s much more likely that gryffindors have the worst sex
They probably spend all their time in bed trying to show off, and it ends up just feeling like Overcompensation City for everyone.
No wonder Ginny left Harry for Tonks and Hermione.
this sounds very right
Gryffindors think real sex is supposed to be like porn sex.
amaaaazing
Jocks with little to no impulse control. Accurate.
Tonks 100% had amazing sex.
I saw Natalia Tena play Fevvers in a stage production of Nights at the Circus years and years ago. She was on a bouncy trapeze wearing wings and sequin nipple tassels and my god she was beautiful.
There was a stage production of Nights at the Circus? TELL ME MORE!
married to a hufflepuff; can confirm, sex is great 🙂
Also, honey badger don’t give a shit.
Slytherins probably have the kinkiest sex but Hufflepuffs are the most GGG… whose bed would you rather be in? 😉
Hufflepuffs probably have that kind of lazy all-afternoon kind that’s really sweet and adorably but also pretty hot. Syltherins definitely go at it with intense, devour-your-soul passion like a sex scene in an R-rated movie. Both is good!
So what you’re saying is that one needs both a Hufflepuff and Slytherin bedmate.
…Or sequence of threesomes.
Syltherins definitely have the most threesomes. Hufflepuffa are probably game – Gryffindors probably have fantasies about porny 3-ways but never make them happen, and I be Ravenclaws would be the surprise dark horse who’s super nerdy about kink but you’d never know
Ravenclaws would have incredibly weird and creative safewords, and always remember to lay in a supply of snacks and bottled water beforehand.
A good Ravenclaw would conduct a series of experiments with all possible combinations.
Raveclaws have already read up on the possibilities and would like to try page 394. no, not that book…. /that/ book over there. page three hundred and…. ninety fourrr.
Hufflepuffs are those friends who can actually have sex with their friends, if neither is attatched, and still have it be fun and cuddly and not awkward, and they probably are really GGG but might have intimacy problems during the first years after they have babies. A friend of mine is a Hufflepuff and swears it’s the poly/orgy house. I think it could be, but the Monogamous Puffs would probably never, ever cheat and would be cool and not judge their poly Puff friends.
Griffyndor is the house of guys who have to ask afterward if you enjoyed it, and straight girls who make out with other girls at parties to show off.
Slytherin is not necessarily the kinkiest house, but they’re known for it because slytherins tend to have torrid, passionate, unstable affairs and marriages based more on respect and shared goals than chemistry. And your Slytherin lover will NEVER tell anyone about your weird kink for muggle ladies’ underwear, or whatever it is.
And I read some fanfic about Ravenclaw being the house with the most lesbians when I was like 13 and I can’t unheadcannon it.
RAVENCLAW 4 LYFE.
(Also, law school is a very weird place where SO MANY people openly and unabashedly embrace the Slytherin label! It’s really unsettling and tells you a lot about who has power in the world!)
“9. Slytherins have to have the best sex. They have to. Badgers just don’t have good sex.”
Also, I will argue that Ravenclaws deserve the best sex designation, and for the doubters I submit lines 37-40 of Marvell’s “To His Coy Mistress”:
Now let us sport us while we may,
And now, like amorous birds of prey,
Rather at once our time devour
Than languish in his slow-chapped power.
WE ARE TIME-DEVOURING SEX BIRDS, GUYS.
Since I am a Ravenclaw can I PLEASE put “time-devouring sex bird” on my resume?
I’m certain there’s a market for it somewhere
HERE FOR THIS.
I was more Slytherin after law school than before, and I was the person who brought homemade soup to share and mentored 1Ls by nature.
Ok, but how would you sort Marcus Aurelius? I feel like he’d be a Huffleclaw, on account of the “no, but you can’t control that, so in order to optimize your happiness, you need to stop caring about it, and go be useful instead.”
Yessssss.
Ha. You just described one of my very good friends (she is great, but she is also in law school and openly embraces her Slytherin-ness)
I’m guessing that Slytherin lawyers get a whole lot less sleep than Ravenclaw lawyers, is that true? I picture the Slytherin wanting that partnership at a top firm, while the Ravenclaw is happiest in a lower-pay/prestige job that pays off their loans eventually and gets them home in time for Jeopardy!
You just described my career plan.
(also today i got to do some legal research for a macarthur genius on mental health law and every single ravenclaw part of me sang out with joy.)
Ravenclaws do public policy, Hufflepuffs are social workers, but Slytherins are totally MBAs, come on guys, we know this.
YESSSSSS, this. Public policy Ravenclaw, here!
No lie, I based my comment on my grad school experience. Public policy Ravenclaws, thinking through the unintended consequences of every single change!
I’m also a public policy Ravenclaw!!
Well, Ravenclaws are resourceful and judicious, but we aren’t desperately clinging to that as a rationale for why we Totally Aren’t Wizard Nazis, Guys!!!
If you have to clarify that you aren’t a wizard Nazi, you might just be a wizard Nazi.
“I’m not a wizard nazi, but…”
#notallslytherins is a thing, right?
“Muggle-born lives matt-” *Slytherin interrupts* “ALL LIVES MATTER!”
We’re not showing off! If it’s pertinent to the conversation at hand, what are we supposed to do, not provide useful information? That defeats the entire utility of information! THIS ENTIRE ENTERPRISE IS INTELLECTUALLY BANKRUPT!
Sometimes SOME of us just REALLY REALLY NEED to educate people about the history of Norteno, or the deconversion of George Eliot, after a few drinks! IT’S NOT SHOWING OFF, IT IS OUR TRUEST, WEIRDEST SELF.
The point is that if it is interesting to ME, it’s probably interesting to YOU, because why wouldn’t it be, these things are very interesting
Honestly the fact that there are people in this world who ARE NOT interested in early-American shape note hymnody is BAFFLING.
wait I don’t know what that is but it actually sounds very interesting.
this entire thread explains my Ravenclaw-to-my-bones-ness, because you’re so right, why doesn’t everyone just want to learn things?
also if you seem puzzled by what the word “agoraphobia” is, after I cheerfully accidentally blurted it out, I’m GOING to helpfully define it for you with a clarifying paragraph on the history behind the etymology, why aren’t you THRILLED with this?
Certainly, if I didn’t know what a word meant, I’d expect to get a definition and brief etymology, otherwise what are we even doing here?
MY PEOPLE
It’s good to be home.
Sara Benincasa’s etymology of agoraphobia from AGORAFABULOUS will do your heart good.
omg, looking that up post-haste. I can even describe how happy this makes me.
that convo ended with me talking about the agora, and the polis in Ancient Greece, and the unfortunate dude saying, “I didn’t expect to….learn so much.”
[gleefully running up and down this thread faving everything]
How did the Ravenclaws ever get to sleep at night, when someone was probably coming home from the library like once an hour going GUESS WHAT, GUYS, I NEED TO SHOW YOU THIS BOOK
And everybody has tangents coming off of their tangents, so conversations never get finished. Until the Hufflepuff in the corner reminds everybody of the original conversational goals, and stuff gets accomplished.
I just keep clicking all the thumbs. Bless you, my darlings for letting me be among you.
I frequently say “I have facts because I don’t have any conversation.”
Turns out that “Ravenclaw” and “librarian-adjacent” are similar sets. It’s a good place to be, this Toast-land.
My people! and now I am certain that I really am a Ravenclaw as if I had any doubt.
This feeling, right here, is why houses exist. At the end of the day you just need to come home to people who understand you.
oh my god I love you all so much I can’t even articulate.
yes please talk about all the etymology things for me please
DITTO DITTO.
I just want to hug everyone in this thread. And by that, I mean buy you copies of books I think you’ll like.
I find that definitions and spellings are easier to remember when I have etymology and historical context, so of course I’m going to give you those things. They’ll make it easier for you to remember the answers in future, and then you won’t have to ask me again!
I am actually the person in my office who does this.
IT’S SO INTERESTING!!! Prior to the mid-19th century, most American hymn books had not adopted the classical/German harmonies that make them sound like the hymns we recognize today. They sound like British folk music from the 17th and 18th century, and they’re really haunting and powerful.
Anyway, during the various Great Awakenings several hymnals were written that collated these hymns, and used a pretty unique, shaped notation system so that people on the frontier could learn to read them with ease. A capella “singings”, where community members came together to learn new songs, became major social function.
This tradition largely died out by the end of the 19th century, but it lived on in several low-church protestant denominations, mostly in the western South and Appalachia. Various old-school Baptist churches and Churches of Christ still use shaped note hymnals.
Awake My Soul: the Story of the Sacred Harp is a documentary about the communities that still use shape-note hymnals, and it is SO GOOD https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHUfHNEZDPc
(As a caveat, I’m ethnically Scots-Irish/my maternal grandma’s family is basically the Joads, and I grew up in a religious tradition that still uses a capella shape-note singing, but with updated hymns that sound… normal. So, my interest is a little idiosyncratic.
Also, Johnny Cash and the Carter family grew up on shape-notes! Not the, like, Sacred Harp old-school style, but the updated, Southern-Gospel-y type.)
man when I think about how cool the history of music is, I get more and more irritated that my middle and elementary school musical education was so bad.
You know why? Because most elementary/middle school music teachers DO NOT ACTUALLY HAVE MUSIC DEGREES, WTF. I am not even kidding about this. In most states, in order to get certified to teach music at the elementary level you need an “education” or “elementary education” degree. Sometimes that even holds true for the middle school/junior high certification as well. (Luckily most states make you have a music degree to teach any kind of music in a high school.) By the time she retired, my mom, who was an elementary school music teacher for 40 years and who actually has a piano performance/music theory degree, was the only elementary school music teacher in her (pretty large) district who had a music degree in addition to her teaching certification. It’s apparently gotten worse over time–when she started teaching you had to have at least a music minor to get certified in the state where she was teaching.
This was awesome! Thank you!!
This is genuinely truly cool and something I knew nothing about!
no matter what the subject matter is the basic form of the youtube comment stays the same, it’s incredible
To the idiot MadXenos. Your inane comment about solfege having more than four syllables proves that you know nothing about this music. The Fa So La system preserved in the rural Southern churches is older than the Do Re Mi system. Shakespeare references it in King Lear. It is a heptatonic and modal system. Lear your music history before you open your uneducated mouth.
omg nerds angry nerds
I think our hymnals had both. Attended a Baptist church in Tennessee….
Right??? It is so cool and weird!
MY PEOPLE. Can I start sending you all links to my favorite things on the internet? And also explain the exciting future of epidemiology? My coworkers, family, and friends would greatly appreciate it.
If you have got insight about the exciting future of epidemiology, I am going to take it as an affront if you DON’T send it to me.
WELL, the actual truth is that the field is changing a lot right now, so the future is still mysterious! However, the need for new study designs and new statistical methods is great. Essentially, modern epidemiology emerged out of the infectious disease era – in which it performed admirably. Unfortunately, with a few exceptions (ex, smoking & lung cancer), we have so far to go with understanding the etiology of most chronic diseases and mental illness. After 50+ years of study, we still know next to nothing about the causes of cardiovascular disease!
What I find most fascinating is the difference between how we conceptualize and categorize illnesses that we understand and illnesses that we don’t. For example, infectious diseases are defined by their cause. We would never diagnose or treat someone with ‘fever’; so many different diseases can cause fever! Yet, for illnesses that we don’t understand as well, and mental illness in particular, we define them by their symptoms. It’s the best we can do with the information we have now, but we need to do better.
New methods, such as those that incorporate genetic data, are definitely imperfect, but if we find similar results with different methods, it seems more likely that we’ve found a true cause. I am a big proponent of experiments for experiment’s sake (you know, in as cost-effective a manner as possible) – results may be incredibly informative in a way we never could have predicted when designing the study. SCIENCE!
Whoa. That middle paragraph kind of blew my mind. In a very good way!
Thanks!
I just want to roll around luxuriously in this entire thread.
What I find most fascinating is the difference between how we conceptualize and categorize illnesses that we understand and illnesses that we don’t.
Yes! I’d look up diseases that I’m not familiar with, like dropsy and meningitis, and realize they’re not diseases, they’re symptoms that could have a number of different causes. But if they didn’t understand the cause back then, all they had were the symptoms. It’s crazy that, for a lot of diseases, we’re still only at that stage.
So what you’re saying is, we need a new epistemology of epidemiology? <3 <3 <3
dang see I have been saying — and I don’t have formal training in this subject, but let’s just say that I have got a lot of informal experience on mental health issues — that a major problem we have when we talk about things like depression and addiction (addiction and alcoholism especially) is that we talk about them like they are just one thing, when we’ve really got no reason for that. The experiences are often the same, or similar, but that doesn’t mean the pathology is the same.
Well, okay, I am interested, I will keep my eyes open about this.
The exciting future of epidemiology sounds fascinating!
Of course.
Please? PLEASE???
My dearest love is someone who can genuinely and excitedly educate me about things. And who is here for me to also educate them about things.
I suddenly feel so much more understood!
oh, okay, THIS is why I’m in Ravenclaw. Yep. That checks out.
like, I try really hard not to be superior about it, but if you’re wrong in my vicinity I am always struggling internally with the best, least douchey way to correct you, and I can only restrain myself so many times. Sincere apologies to my coworker with opinions about the dangers of msg.
I just spent a weekend with some of my favorite people playing Pandemic (best game! all cooperation!), when someone asked me why I had such a weird look on my face.
“I’m just trying really hard to not correct everyone’s pronunciation.”
So they all demanded to know how to correctly say the names of all the cities.
And then spent the rest of the game deliberately mispronouncing them.
Sometimes you just have to straight-up murder the ones you love, for the greater good.
I’d lose my shit at that. Like, funny ha-ha for about five minutes and then Serious Irritation and then Yes, I Am Actually Yelling, Why Do You All Think This is Some Kind of JOKE, How Can You Disrespect Words That Way and end the night in the corner of the kitchen clutching a cheap can of beer while everyone else wonders what the fuck the weird girl is on about again
uh not from personal experiences or anything
I have no idea what you’re on about. NONE WHATEVER.
I am not laughing hysterically at this, and certainly not because I might be a little bit drunk and commenting on this Toast article (people do that on the regular, right?), and definitely certainly not because some people we love are total jerks about that kind of stuff and do not understand where the line is between funny ha-ha and Yes, I Am Actually Yelling, Why Do You All Think This is Some Kind of JOKE, How Can You Disrespect Words That Way.
I am just here to say that I LOVE pandemic! Competition in games really brings out the worst in me (in a VERY ravenclaw way), so I am all for collaboration.
oh god I was playing Pandemic with a dude who would mispronounce a city name, ask how it was actually pronounced, and then blithely go back to the first pronunciation as if we hadn’t said anything aaaaaargh
“Oh, yeah, no MSG allergies aren’t real, actually you’re kind of racist.”
“Could you have said that in a less confrontational way?”
“Uh. MSG allergies aren’t real, actually you’re kind of racist?”
I think what I said was “It’s not…. actually…. the science behind it is flimsy at best, and public perception only targeted chinese food because of some really kinda-racist motives, and the components in MSG are found in plenty of other ‘safe’ foods, there’s no good proof it’s actually unhealthy”
what I DIDN’T say was “I’m p. sure your symptoms are psychosomatic because you’ve come to expect them, or maybe you’re reacting to any of the other less-than-healthy components of fast food, like the sodium content, but that’s not limited to chinese.”
But I did spend the next 30 minutes at work googling MSG just to make sure that I was right about it.
ugh the worst thing about other people is how much trouble you’ve got to go to to make sure they don’t get mad when you explain something. a nightmare
okay but it IS and I always end up babbling and hedging in an effort to not offend and it’s BORING
Oh honey. Come sit by me. /pats chair
What I like about (my) internet forums is that I can get 3/4 through an “ACTUALLY…” post, realize I may be talking out of my ass, and go do some research before I hit post. And then comes the amazing smugness of having backed myself up with LINKS AND FACTS *before* anyone came at me.
Slytherclaws: prepared and cunning.
“No what are you doing you’re completely…”
*checks notes*
“…yup, completely wrong. Absolutely 100% wrong.”
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbwniwC0do1qh2o…
I am mostly just here for the wonderfulness that is that gif. I <3 TWW 😀 And now I will be rewatching all the episodes and writing down my fave quotes. Again.
Scenes like that satisfy me on a visceral level.
Carpet-bombing theory of citation. Big fan.
*Especially* on the internet. My other favorite technique is using actual rhetorical terms for logical fallacies in FB comments. I don’t even need to double-check my spelling of ad hominem or Ignoratio elenchi anymore.
Zoos and bookstores are the worst for me. Especially zoos. There are people all around me asking each other questions about animals, and sometimes they *don’t know* or, worse, are *wrong.* I use a lot of self control.
This was me as a child. I am a self-proclaimed Hufflepuff now, but I think that at 11 I might have been very invested in being a Ravenclaw
Wanting to jump into other people’s conversations to explain things to them can be a real problem in public places. Stop being wrong about stuff!
Zoos! I mean, mistaking a puffin for a penguin should be totally forgivable (but should it really?), but there’s a sign RIGHT THERE!!! (Wow, I clearly have feelings about this.)
Gibbons are NOT MONKEYS, people! Look! No tail!
Oh my god, I knew Ravenclaw was right for me, but I can’t tell you how glad I am other people feel like this at zoos too! Just read the goddamn sign, it’s right there!!
Have you read the Dave Eggers short short story “You Know How to Spell Elijah”? Because that hit me where I live (it is grossly unjust that I was sorted into Slytherin instead of Ravenclaw and I have not yet made my peace with it)
http://www.theguardian.com/books/2004/jun/05/shor…
Hedwig, I relate strongly to both Slytherin and Ravenclaw, and I’m in Slytherin on Pottermore, and we are awesome, I promise! We have intellectual fervour and practicality. We get shit done. Welcome! You will totally find friends in Slytherin.
Oh, thank you, I am still trying to come to terms with being a Slytherin and not a Ravenclaw, and this is making it better! Yea!
I kind of loved listening to parents make things up in the Natural History museum dinosaur display*. not the ones who were making things up because they couldn’t be bothered but the ones who were really trying to answer the kids’ questions and just didn’t know the right answers. Although I bet smartphones help with that a lot now.
*Not reopening until 2019! Waaah! I don’t even live there anymore and it makes me sad I can’t go on the weekends.
Aaargh yes, I have a zoo anecdote here! The small mammal and reptile house at the Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago (which is free and wonderful [except for the cat house, which is way too small and depressing]) has an exhibit with mongooses about 5-6 feet up and naked mole rats in their plexiglass-sided tunnels directly below them. I can’t resist going to watch the frolicking mongooses, but EVERY TIME I’m there I overhear a comment of, “Oh look at the mongoose babies down below!” and I have to EAT MY FIST to not say anything! It’s especially tempting when it’s a parent telling a child this, because YO stop misinforming the children, they are our future!
I struggled so hard when I saw someone on our town’s Facebook group thanking the fire department for checking when their “CO2 detector” went off. I did not actually correct them, though, not just because I would have looked like an asshole in front of the entire town, but because someone else had already gracefully referenced “carbon monoxide” in the first comment.
I saw someone on Facebook congratulating a person celebrating their 20th birthday on “reaching their second decade”. I couldn’t comment on the post (and shouldn’t have, as I basically knew nobody; the person whose birthday it was was the brother of a vague acquaintance, and the commenter was a friend of their mother’s, I think), but it was painful to read.
WHAT NO
You guys I just need to tell you here because it is related that recently my (male) coworker told me he doesn’t eat -anything- with soy because “soy has estrogen in it.”
In that case I was too flabbergasted to speak because what would have come out of my mouth was something like “Oh thank god you figured that out so you don’t get tiny amounts of estrogen fucking up your masculinity! OH THE HUMANITY!”
Masculinity so fragile, y’all.
IT US
IT ALSO US
Aw, I think this actually happened to me last week.
Guys I just spent a full hour typing out an exhaustively detailed instruction sheet for one teeny tiny aspect of a thing at my old job
like it’s so small I didn’t even think of it when I was doing my exit processes
I am a Ravenclaw
I’m a Gryffindor and I need to know that I’m not the only one who will say this out loud.
I am Slytherin with like moon in Gryffindor or something. It works and I am unashamed?
I finally took the quiz and I am also a Gryffindor. I am frankly pretty surprised, I expected to be Ravenclaw or maybe Hufflepuff.
Me too. All the other quizes I’ve taken have put me in Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff. I’m actually not sure how I feel about it.
This is what happened to me. Over the past several years I have taken the Pottermore quiz three times and only ever gotten Gryffindor.
I accepted it after friends and family responded with ‘yeah that totally makes sense.’ (I mean, first I was surprised they would say this, but I came around I guess)
I keep getting Gryffindor too, but refuse to accept it. The friends I’ve brought it up to agree that it is wrong…but I don’t know if they truly believe that or just don’t want to hear me rant.
I’m super Gryffindor, gryffinpuff if it comes to that. When I was a kid I really really wanted to be in Ravenclaw because I liked to read? That was pretty much it. But I think I’ve always been a Gryffindor deep down, it just took me a long time to realize it and not just accept, but be proud of and happy about it.
Yeah, I’m Gryffindor with some underlying leanings toward Hufflepuff. Pottermore is divided on this, too, but I know myself pretty well, and when I search my heart, I am a stupid, headstrong, impulsive, gregarious lion.
Like the one in the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe! The one who isn’t Aslan, obviously.
I’m Gryffindor by every test I’ve ever taken. Apparently we get a lot of hate but I can’t help you, I yam what I yam.
Ditto.
Me too! Even trying to skew to slytherin I get gryffindor.
Yep, same here! And I won’t apologize Hermione was Gryffindor!
I recently got sorted into Gryffindor after always assuming that I am a Ravenclaw. I would think little of this, except several close family members also believe I am secretly a Gryffindor. I DON’T KNOW HOW TO LIVE WITH THIS NEW INFORMATION ABOUT MYSELF.
You’re Minerva McGonagall!
OOH! That is an excellent role model!
Oh good point! i will keep this close to my heart when I despair about being sorted into Gryffindor.
How are you doing, my fellow sporty tryhards.
Friends have described me as “so Gryffindor” in the middle of conversations not about Potter, so I was far from surprised by my result.
GO! TEAM!
Even though I REALLY DON’T WANT TO BE literally every test including 4 different Pottermore accounts puts me in Gryffindor. I prefer to think of myself as the Remus/Neville school of Gryffindor, anyway.
I dont really get the Gryff hate on the internet. I understand being bitter about the books being all about the Gryffindors but everyone takes it too far. Its not all frat boys and douchebags and seeing as it wasnt even that in the books I dont know where it comes from.
And I bet the other houses have really boring parties.
> And I bet the other houses have really boring parties.
That’s why the hate. Party envy IMO
Gryffindor parties sound loud and exhausting. I would hide in my four-poster bed with its curtains drawn.
Let us all remember that Neville Longbottom is a Gryffindor.
Gryffindors may throw the best of a certain type of party, but you know that the Slytherin common room is in a dungeon, right? 😉 😉 😉 😉
Pottermore sorted me into Gryffindor twice, and I was very confused to not get Ravenclaw. Tbh, if I could choose, I would choose Gryffindor. I’m just a very anxious person. :/
I’ve sorted as Gryffindor on every single version of a sorting quiz I’ve ever taken, as well as being sorted that way by the hat at the Harry Potter Expo thingy in London years ago.
I like to think of myself as a Ravenclaw, but I have Gryffindor-like tendencies – the Hermione Granger sort, where you loudly complain about injustice and try to fight it even though everyone thinks you’re being ridiculous.
I keep fighting it every time another quiz tries to tell me I’m a Gryffindor…but based on that explanation, I could maybe see it and start to become a little less resentful.
I always assumed I would be Gryffindor, and was totally ok with that, but I just took the official (or, “official”, whatever) Pottermore test and apparently I’m Slytherin? I truly don’t know how to feel about this new information.
I’m partially a Gryffindor and I’m ok with this.
gryffindor and damn proud of it, thank you very much. Just because we’re impulsive and good at sports does not mean we’re stupid. Ignore Harry and Ron, because whatever, and think of Hermione, Ginny, Sirius, Remus, Neville. Good company.
The first time I got sorted I got Hufflepuff and was like nope! F THAT! And then I made a fake email address, got RE-SORTED and got Slytherin. I deserve it. It’s good here.
The fact that you went to all the effort to change the results is proof that you are, indeed, a Slytherin. Well played.
Just for funsies, I created a new Pottermore login with a different email address so I could take the new sorting quiz (I had previously reclaimed my house), and it sorted me into Gryffindor. My immediate reaction was “I bet they changed it so it just doesn’t sort people into Slytherin anymore because people get mad about it,” which I think proves a similar point…
I mean, I’ve taken I don’t even know how many sorting quizzes and have never once, NOT ONCE, been sorted into anything but Slytherin, including the previous Pottermore quiz incarnation. So there must be some sort of secret plot or something, right?
Welcome to the cool people club. Despite any misgivings we shall gladly accept you as one of our own.
(And it is true. We totally have the best taste in music. Also decorating taste. Tell me those couches up there don’t look sinfully comfortable.)
I’ll dispute that. Everything about the Movie!Slytherin aesthetic screams operatic-nu-metal.
(I haven’t seen any movies past the fourth one and feel I cannot judge. Though that won’t stop me. Movie Slytherin needs to work on its aesthetic.)
I just like tufted couches ok? Like a lot. Which is why I have a pink one. It goes so well with green and silver.
I want a pink tufted couch! But my selection was determined to be unsuitable as “it wasn’t very comfy.”
My husband and I finally have a house (real house not harry potter house) and the very first thing we did was look for Slytherin common room couches. We found them and it is the best purchase ever
I have a miniature one in my office and do 95% ofmy work from it.
Y’all are making me feel much better about Pottermore telling me I’m Slytherin when I was 90% confident I’d be Ravenclaw.
I’m behind on this post, obviously, but I so startled to be a Slytherin when I had always assumed I was a Ravenclaw that I am ridiculously excited to find my people here!
(It’s The Toast, should never have doubted it.)
“but honestly I’d take Slytherin over hanging with the jocks over in Gryffindor.”
I mean I’ve said it before: Ravenclaw but aspirational Hufflepuff. THAT SAID: absolutely.
Plus you know 50% of the non-wizard-nazi Slytherins are Model UN kids, which is to say: actually giant nerds.
yeah, I think we can all agree that, whatever problems the other houses have, Gryffindor is the worst.
While I am probably not a Hufflepuff I have long thought that they are the only House that doesn’t try way too hard to be cool.
Deep down, I think I genuinely believe that Hufflepuff is the best house, but I know where I belong, and it isn’t there.
I have accepted that I am probably not nice enough to be a Hufflepuff, and am definitely not hard working enough!
They have Zacharias Smith, though.
My brain keeps trying to convince me that Neville Longbottom is a Hufflepuff. This is probably because of the herbology connection. It also leaves me convinced that Hufflepuffs are secretly badasses.
I think Neville got a choice.
Maybe they ALL got to choose, really.
Maybe.
omg. I’ve never been able to imagine what non-inherently evil Slytherins are like and NOW I CAN. Thank you.
“Slytherins have to have the best sex. They have to. Badgers just don’t have good sex.”
Wrong. Hufflepuffs are enthusiastically attentive and will probably go along with anything.
Yeah, let’s be honest here, Slytherins probably don’t care about their partners’ pleasure.
I’m not going to make that accusation. I’m just saying that if you tell a Hufflepuff to do something, they’re gonna do it like it was their idea.
Just imagine how dedicated a Hufflepartner would be wrt oral sex!
No, seriously, imagine that. I’ll wait.
Hufflepartner
<3
It’s efficient and gender-neutral!
Enthusiastic consent is so very Hufflepuff!
Just made Pottermore account in response to this annnnd got sorted into Slytherin. I’m also fine?
Me too! I feel like a pretty un-cunning Slytherin though.
Slytherin here to say that scorched earth can be a very reasonable policy when someone has wronged you.
Unsorted here to say that policies other than scorched earth get you Gollum.
Whose existence turns out to be absolutely crucial to getting the One Ring into the relatively safe hands of hobbits AND to getting it back OFF the no longer quite so safe hand of a hobbit into the volcano!
…Sorry, exercising my obligations as a Huffleclaw.
GANDALFIAN PROPAGANDA.
I live and die by the scorched earth mantra. Don’t fuck with me, I will drop you.
It means I don’t deal with a lot of friend drama and bullshit, which is great, but it also means I don’t have any friends and don’t speak to most of my family.
And I am *fine* with that.
#slytherinarejustsanepeople
i am clearly amongst my people <3
I too am a Slytherin. The one thing that I cannot come to terms with is being under the lake because I am an artist and I need light dammit.
Ambition and intellect are not bad things. I’d rather do something with my brain apart from just soak up knowledge.
Yup, that was one of my main reasons for preferring Ravenclaw’s common room. Big airy tower, tons of light.
You need light? “HAVE YOU GONE MAD?” Lis bellowed. “ARE YOU A WITCH OR NOT?”
I am apparently a rubbish Slytherin.
(though, Scottish winters are miserable in terms of light, so I guess Slytherin is just as well off as everyone else in the light department).
I’m pretty sure you have to like the darkness to be a Slytherin. Like, goth club bartending dark.
Conversation with friend upon my learning that I was Slytherin:
Me: I mean, I don’t know. I just don’t see myself as a Slytherin
Her: I think you are. It’s not like you are immoral . . .
Me interrupting: Oh I don’t care about morality! . . . .Okay, Yes I just heard it. I am a Slytherin.
Ohhhh no this just reminded me of the time when I said in front of my supervisor and a number of colleagues, during an ethics course for my career, “Well we all know ethics is really a gray area.”
NOT what you’re supposed to say when you’re taking an ethics course for a job.
In some fields, this would get your a promotion.
But … it’s true? Real life is just one huge gray area. As Toby says in The West Wing, “It’s easy to stick to principles when nothing’s at stake.”
… Does that make me Slytherin? For the record, I was just resorted by Pottermore into Slytherin, but I firmly believe I’m a Hufflepuff, so.
the wizard nazis are only all in one house because JKR doesn’t understand people that well, anyway
i mean, it would be SO EASY to make a hufflepuff a wizard nazi. “It’s for the good of the community. Look, you have to weed out the magically weak, or where will hogwarts be in ten years? Defend our wizarding future!”
Gryffindor nazi: “look i just KNOW that muggle-borns are shite at magic, alright? don’t quote your statistics at me, i know what’s right and what’s wrong, and I’m gonna do something about it before we’re all screwed!”
Ravenclaw nazi: “i’m mostly in it for the post-mortems after the murder parties, i mean where else will i get to study muggle brains and find out if they’re different from ours? sometimes you have to crack a few eggs in the name of discovery”
ravenclaw mengele omg I just *shuddered*
Ditto. Actual chills.
of course I am also chewing crushed ice like it’s my job BUT STILL
Tbh, I feel like you could get Hufflepuff communists but I don’t think the aggression of Nazism or fascism would sit well with them. Like, I can totally see a Hufflepuff Stalinist, but not a Hitlerist, if that makes sense.
… I have far, far too much free time.
Hitler was a Gryffindor Nazi, Mengele a Ravenclaw Nazi, Goebbels was Slytherin.
…I haven’t watched History Channel in a while so I don’t have a good Hufflepuff Nazi.
Ronald Reagan? I know he wasn’t a nazi or on the same wretched level as those other dudes. But “It’s for the good of the community/weed out the magically weak,” can translate to the horrible “welfare queen/not like US” bits he used while still sounding homey.
Reagan was a squib.
how does this comment not have more likes
I posted it many hours after the original post?
Eichmann.
I slightly disagree with this only because the science used by Nazi doctors, including Mengele, was so bad that no self respecting Ravenclaw would have used his methods. A Ravenclaw Nazi’s experiments actually would have shown real data and scientific method.
Well, I think she was trying to do more Wizarding Bullingdon Club instead of Wizard Nazi.
Peter Pettigrew was in Gryffindor, you guys. JKR knows not all the bad wizards are in Slytherin. It’s RON who says that (and Hagrid). Both are a wee bit biased.
(Don’t believe what the Ravenclaws claim about all the smart wizards being in their house, either! Sheez. At least half of what any student says about the houses in the books is propaganda!)
I actually used Peter Pettigrew as a central figure in my paper on the Vestibule section of Dante’s Inferno, which is filled with people who don’t even have the guts to commit to any particular sin. Assholes.
Unreliable narration! Good point! I think we’re back to asking what Sorting Hat thinks and it seems the hat might not believe in houses in the first place.
So Hufflepuff wizard nazis are the NWA?
This makes sense to me. I can picture a pureblooded, mediocrely talented wizard being sorted into Hufflepuff and developing an extreme dislike of more naturally-talented, Muggle-born wizards, who excel at magic but know nothing about magical culture and don’t care to learn (as perceived by the Hitlerpuff, as I’m now calling this imaginary person.) I can see this Hitlerpuff person adopting a chip-on-the-shoulder mentality with regard to pureblooded wizardry, bound up with “tradition” and a wizarding version of nationalism and not-in-my-Godrics-Hollow bullshit.
Basically, Hitlerpuff is just the worst.
Not all Slytherins are Wizard Nazis, but come on, all Wizard Nazis are Slytherins.
Wasn’t the girl who narced on the DA a Ravenclaw?
She was given verisaterum!
That she was given veritaserum makes Hermione cursing her a little extra awful, honestly.
(I don’t remember this happening, though? Is this one of those things that early fandom glossed over in the interests of Protagonist Is Always Right? I wouldn’t be surprised…)
The way I remember it (and I’m constantly amazed at what I get really wrong retroactively) is that Hermione cursed the signup sheet so the curse that girl got would have happened to any snitch. I’m unsure whether she alerted people to that possibility upfront though.
You are correct, and I knew this without checking, because I am a Ravenclaw.
She did not alert people to that possibility up front, not even Harry and Ron. There’s an excellent scene after Educational Decree whatever number (34?) comes out, banning all gatherings–Ron and Harry go, “Someone must have sold us out,” Hermione says, “No, they didn’t,” and Ron starts in on her for being trusting, and then she goes, “No, I know because I hexed the sign-up sheet.”
And Ron experiences his usual combination of confusion, fear, and arousal.
Don’t pretend it’s not true, you know it’s true.
Why would we pretend? Ron knows a good thing when he sees it
(I’m sorry, in the case of Wizard Nazi collaborators I’m all for ruthlessness. *conveniently ignores the way WAY yuckier movie version*)
Hermione totally did that, and that is the reason why my friend always argues that Hermione should have been in Slytherin. For her, the ends justify the means. She’s ruthless!
It took some time, but I have been convinced.
I do not remember the veritaserum part of the equation at all but JESUS CHRIST, HERMIONE, THE POINT OF VERITASERUM IS THAT SHE HAS TO TELL THE TRUTH AND CAN’T STOP HERSELF, AND VERITASERUM IS INVASIVE AND GROSS SO WAY TO BLAME THE VICTIM.
Though I think this is actually why Hermione is a Gryff–she went for the immediate, showy revenge. The Slytherin way is to take your time with it and go in quiet and slow while the target frets about when you’re just gonna take your damn revenge and get it over with already, so that the anxiety compounds the fear and makes the vengeance sweeter.
Plus I’m pretty sure she cursed the signup sheet up front so by the time veritaserum came into play the deed was done. I don’t think she warned the people signing up though, so that’s probably not a whole lot better.
Ahh nuts, sorry to post this twice, I thought my post got eaten. Then again, making extra sure your knowledge is heard is so Ravenclaw, so I guess I didn’t have much of a choice 🙂
Your comments are great because I was going to say these exact same things.
I’m not sure that Hermione jinxing the parchment is awful? It makes sense because it was a showy jinx, so they’d know who (not) to trust. I’m a Slytherin, though.
It definitely makes sense from a security point of view! And to be fair, I never did consider the veritaserum possibility either. I guess at the age I read it I was just all uncritical & “a literal pox on all the traitors”
It’s awful because it’s stupid – the hex didn’t stop anyone from telling, it didn’t protect the DA in any way; it was simply there to punish.
THEY CHANGED IT IN THE MOVIE AND IT WAS INFURIATING. In the *books,* she just goes to the adults of her own free will, because of her parents being in the ministry. In the movies, they gave her Veritaserum for NO GOOD REASON, which made Hermione look downright evil and not just ruthless.
Ok, that’s why the veritaserum wasn’t ringing a bell. I never saw the movies!
My A+ mom gave me a pin for my birthday this year that says “Never judge a book by its movie.”
The thing is, Hermione just cursed the sign-up sheet. She wasn’t looking to nail anyone in particular, she was just putting consequences on narcing in GENERAL.
I thought they just leaned on her mom’s Ministry job (which is still pretty major) and they got OUT of it because they memory-charmed her before the grown ups gave her veritaserum to get more deets because they didn’t buy Dumbledore’s story clearing the Gang.
Agree to all. But wish Snape had listened to number 4 (“I’m a busy woman and can’t be wasting time on relationships that aren’t at least mutually emotionally fulfilling. “) and moved on to find a fulfilling relationship during his life. (“Always” is very romantic and all, but she wouldn’t want you to be miserable and alone forever?)
I always thought Slytherin had the best color scheme. Red/gold all the time would get oppressive, blue/silver is a tad subdued, and yellow/black is too energetic for constant use (pace celebrated Hufflepuff Wiz Khalifa).
Green/silver, then: striking but not obnoxious, vital yet soothing, readily adapted to almost any motif or situation. You don’t have to read it as symbolizing Envy & Avarice or Poison & Metal; it could also mean Life & the Moon, or Summer & Winter, or Michigan State.
ravenclaw is blue and bronze! the movies just fucked up
“the movies just fucked up” – my motto when it comes to Harry Potter.
I refuse to be associated with Michigan State!
Aw, come onnnnnnnnnn
Go Blue!
And it goes so well with pink. Green silver and pink. I am for this color scheme.
This might be the color scheme for my front yard.
Hufflepuffs don’t mind the yellow/black, because if it gets to be too much we have the Herbology hookup.
The literal entire city of Pittsburgh has a bone to pick with you on that color scheme.
If anything, these pictures seem to affirm Sean_Sullivan’s point about ‘too energetic for constant use’? But hey, maybe there are just lots of people with that much energy!
It’s the Pittsburgh team colors.
Which team? Every team. The Penguins, Steelers, and Pirates (lol Pirates) all sport black and yellow, so every game in Pittsburgh is just a seething mass of them. Wiz Khalifa’s from Pittsburgh and he’s repping his home teams in the song.
lol pirates.
I have so many mixed feelings about Michigan sports. On the one hand, my alma mater has a very distinctive dislike of UM. On the other hand, I’ve known some really grody people who went to MSU. I remain unresolved on this.
You could always just hate them both!
Wisconsin’s mascot is a Hufflepuff oops I meant badger…
Porque no los dos??
That tends to be where I end up. 😛 I went to Northern. GO CATS GO, fuck the rest of Michigan schools.
GO ‘CATS…sorry, that just erupted out of me due to running into a fellow NMU alum on the wide world of the interweb.
You say “Poison & Metal” like it wouldn’t be the most badass thing in a school full of angsty teenagers.
SPARTY, NO!
Ravenclaws are the ones actually keeping society functioning while Gryffindors and Slytherins are off having some stupid war and Hufflepuffs are making muffins.
MUFFINS ARE DELICIOUS, HOW VERY DARE YOU.
What’s the point of a functioning world without good muffins, though?
Someone has to make sure the owls get fed.
I’m going to have to think its the Hufflepuffs keeping things running while Ravenclaws are busy debating about what should be done.
(#slytherinhere)
I’m finding it hard to respond to this comment without launching a huge geopolitical historical debate referencing multiple past and present wars, but just know you’re wrong.
Come at me, bro.
(For realsies, though, I’m not going to get into a debate about geopolitics on a Harry Potter house post, but it’s far from simple enough to say that I’m hands down wrong.)
Now I’m slightly disappointed that there will not be a huge geopolitical historical argument centering around Hogwarts houses.
I feel like part of the “keeping everything running” that Hufflepuffs do is periodically check on the Ravenclaws to make sure they haven’t stopped to debate something and forgot to start again. And the Ravenclaws periodically check back to make sure the Hufflepuffs aren’t just trucking along when they should be questioning or improving.
…ok, I started to write a nice compromise and it turned into a management textbook for millennials.
okay but you should actually write that textbook, though
Hufflepuffs are the Bernard Woolley-s (though this can’t be taken very far because Jim Hacker would be a squib).
Sir Humphrey is such a Slytherin.
I’m sorry are you saying muffins aren’t necessary to the functioning of the school/society
I’m saying it’s better that Hufflepuffs make them.
If I can’t have muffins, I don’t want to be part of your revolution!
Slight correction: Ravenclaws are the ones who make sure progress happens, and they would gladly break all the rules for this. Slytherins are very conservative, so rules are very important to them, and they will follow them up to the point where it stands in the way of their ambition, or if it would harm someone they consider close to them. Gryffindors would get angry whenever they think someone is being unfair, so yeah, they would clash a lot with Slytherins.
Hufflepuffs make the muffins and make sure no one murders each other, and there is some semblance of balance.
…Sorry.
There is no way on this green earth that Ravenclaws of all people are the ones making sure the paperwork gets done. They may design a new filing system, but they aren’t helping people fill the forms out. And I bet they are absolute rubbish at budgeting.
Edit: I am hilariously upset about this.
You know who would be very good at budgeting? Both Slytherins and Hufflepuffs, main difference being that the Slytherins would send threatening letters to Ravenclaws whenever they overspend on something in the name of research, while Hufflepuffs would make tea to calm everyone down, then shift things around in a way that’s very legal, but still gives the Ravenclaws enough money to finish whatever it is that they are doing.
I don’t know what Gryffindors would be doing in this scenario. Also, there is a slight chance I am overthinking this.
Ravenclaws are SUPER GOOD at *starting* paperwork. They make a page in their Bullet Journal, then another outline, then take more notes and form committees to discuss the possibilities of tangents. The Hufflepuffs come in at the exact right time to say, “it’s time for a break,” which the Ravenclaws roll their eyes at because who needs FOOD at a time like this? We are BRAINSTORMING HERE. But really it’s very helpful because by the end of the muffins and tea, the ‘Claws are back from the weeds and can start discussing why paperwork is a waste of paper, why can’t we just SCAN ALL the files, gods the SEC is so behind the times! Let’s go into the stacks and just do it but hey look, this isn’t alphabetical let’s put things in order before we get started with the scanning – after all ducks like to be lined up, right?
Meanwhile the Slytherins have created a quick-and-dirty Excel solution in the office down the hall.
I think Ravenclaws are also good at knowing the paperwork is important. But let’s face it- Hufflepuffs are rule-followers and it’s rule-followers who keep things tidy. As a child I would have been sorted Ravenclaw but as an adult I’ve become more Hufflepuff. I figure that if you’re the sort of person who carries around a spare box of Band-Aids you’re probably Hufflepuff whatever else you do.
Or some Ravenclaws are *frighteningly* good at organization, paperwork, and timeliness, because it’s intelligent to be tidy and efficient–you can get your research done a hell of a lot more quickly that way, and have more time to read more things about the shape of notes in early American hymnody.
It’s not rules that are important to Slytherins, it’s Tradition. Imagine someone like Lord Byron, who would drink wine from a skull but still refuse to take money for his poems because no gentleman could ever do that. Ravenclaw inventors get Slytherin investors by appealing to traditions with their disrupting inventions. Family is also almost as important to Slyths as it is to Puffs- basically they don’t care about anyone outside their circle, which is why they made easy prey for Wizard Nazis.
Ravenclaw married to a Slytherin here. We have a balanced household.
We’re Ravenclaw-Ravenclaw and we have a lot of stubborn intellectual debates about politics and religion and whose turn it is to do the dishes.
We’re Ravenclaw-Hufflepuff, but the Hufflepuff insists he is a Ravenclaw because no one wants to be a Hufflepuff, Hufflepuffs are all forgettable personality-lacking losers but like, come ON, how can you ACTUALLY be a Ravenclaw if you’ve come to that conclusion based on only reading the books MAYBE ONCE and not subjecting them to NEARLY ENOUGH ANALYSIS
He does most of the dishes, though.
You tell him Hufflepuffs are the bomb. Loyal, trustworthy, dependable – they get hated on a lot, but these are the guys you want to have as friends, they will always have your back, with actually really useful stuff! Plus, I have to assume a Hufflepuff has a leg up getting their first job.
I’m a Slytherin, and I don’t argue that, but I wish I was a Hufflepuff.
Ravenclaw-Ravenclaw here too (although he just claimed that he thinks he’s a Slytherin); we have shouting matches about things like rhetorical versus logical punctuation.
I’m a Gryffindor, my wife is a Slytherin. It is like a heteronormative Carry On up in here.
Our daughter is a hufflepuff, which pisses her off a LOT.
Middle/high school OtherWench would definitely have been a Ravenclaw (despite having zero percent interest in working hard at those studies), so I am comfortable with Pottermore’s certainty on that fact.
But as an adult, I feel like I swing between feeling aspirationally towards the Hufflepuffers and the Slythertypes. Stupid buzzfeed tried to hybridize me with Gryffindor and I have never been so upset with an online “which are you…” quiz.
That’s a good point! I think it says something that as one grows up one is less hard-and-fast about most of these and learns that there’s value in other ways of thinking.
I’m a Hufflepuff dating a Slytherin and when he got sorted I read through the whole ‘welcome to Slytherin’ thing and I have to say…could JK really not even manage to make the welcome package not sound like “welcome to wizard-naziville?”
I don’t have an issue with Slytherins in the fandom interpretation, but JK’s is fucked up.
Gilderoy Lockhart was a Ravenclaw?
That actually doesn’t surprise me in the least. Nothing ever said Ravenclaws had to be ethical, just smart.
It isn’t his lack of ethics that bothers me, it’s his lack of competency!
yeah, it shames me to admit, Ravenclaws don’t need to be smart we just need to value cleverness, which is exactly Gilderoy Lockhart in a nutshell.
He over-specialized, I think. He probably knew more about memory charms & was better at them than anyone else alive, but he didn’t stay in a purely theoretical, academic lane. No, he had to go tampering with real people’s memories, and add a whopping dose of plagiarism and fraud to the bargain.
also see above re: showing off. I’d add “being convinced you always know more than your peers about literally any subject” to common Ravenclaw flaws, and that’s where you get Lockhart
Plagiarism is probably as common among Ravenclaws as it in in academia, and for similar reasons.
Okay, I was sorted into Slytherin last week and I’ve been having a huge existential crisis. I went in thinking, “Okay, now I will definitively know if I’m Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff!” And then…Slytherin? What?
Because I don’t have any ambition. I mean, I want people to think I’m worthwhile, because I’m Very Concerned with the opinions of others. I might have some leadership skills, but I don’t want them. Anytime I’m put in charge of a group, I’m like, “Oh no. I have responsibility. I could be responsible for the destruction of the lives of everyone. I must gain consensus!”
So, more than a fear of being evil, I don’t think this sorting is apt? So now I’m afraid that I’m secretly really ambitious and have no self awareness, but a website knows me better than I do. (Because JK Rowling made it and she could never be wrong.)
Yeah, I know I’m taking this too seriously. But I legit start panicking if I think about it too much. Which is why I have not gone to Pottermore since I took the quiz.
….Hi, are you me? I read your first sentence and went, “yes, that’s me exactly!” and then expected that *somewhere* in the post there would be a detail that would indicate that you are not my long-lost clone. But no. (Maybe there’s a whole contingent of us Ravenpuffs who are just going to snap one day and seize power)
I…don’t think….I’m you? But I don’t know who I am anymore, so maybe I am?
I picked I would rather be “trusted.” HOW does that sort me into Syltherin!
So kinda right there with you.
I think I was sorted into Slytherin because I chose to save the Medicine and then the School Records in that order. But I don’t want to exclude muggle borns! I just think history is interesting!
It’s hard to fully control people if they don’t trust you, I’m just saying. Better to be loved than feared, etc.
I also felt weird being sorted into Gryffindor (I went in, like you, thinking I was destined for Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff). It still feels weird that the popular interpretation of Gryffindor is as jocks because I’m…not a jock. However, I do see how my personality matches up with Gryffindor values, I just have no athletic ability.
I am not very Gryffindor, but I don’t think they are jocks. I think Hufflepuffs are more jock-like–they’re into hard work and are team-oriented. I get that the books focus on Gryffindor as the super-cool kids, so there is bound to be backlash, but Gryffindor are great. They, at their best, stick up for the oppressed. They are the front lines for justice in the HP universe. All that bravery and nerve are needed to stand strong against the current.
It takes much more bravery to stand up to bullies than to bully others.
I think the flashback scenes to the previous generations maybe are part of the reason Gryffindor ends up with a bit of a bad rap … Snape and James Potter had a rivalry, just like Draco and Harry, but James and his friends have the clique and popularity on their side, so they come off as bullies, even if we know that Snape probably gave as good as he got. Draco and Harry seem more evenly matched with Harry being more of an underdog, so we don’t see them as bullying each other in the same way and instead they can simply be seen as just competing/fighting each other.
Maybe you try your best and also are extremely loyal to your friends? Trying your best is shared between Ravenclaw and Slytherin, and intense loyalty is Hufflepuff and Slytherin. Maybe you’ve settled into Slytherin as a result of having both traits.
Slytherins are also those with the potential for greatness–and it sounds like you have leadership skills (whether you want to use them or not) and spend a lot of emotional energy on trying to be a wise leader who turns out good results. That sounds like Slytherin to me! (Making whatever decisions you want in spite of everyone else’s opinions would be a total Gryffindor or Ravenclaw thing.)
As for ambition, maybe you are ambitious but not in the controlling, superficial sense Slytherin has an (unfair) reputation for. Maybe you try harder than other people to do a good job whenever tasks fall to you, or you care more than others about making the people around you happy. Caring a lot + working hard to achieve an objective = ambition, imo. (Google’s dictionary gives me “a strong desire to do or to achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work.”)
I dunno. Just thoughts. Slytherins honestly are kind of Hufflepuffy, just with a more hardcore reputation.
I ALSO take this too seriously.
I appreciate all the care you put into that, actually. It’s the google dictionary definition of ambition that makes me think I don’t have ambition. Like, IN THEORY I would love to cure cancer or end capitalism. But my driving desire is naps, reading, and television. I am strongly motivated by naps. And that just doesn’t seem to be a Slytherin trait.
Hey, our rooms are under the lake. That’s perfect napping atmosphere with the filtered light and gentle lapping of waves… don’t tell me that wasn’t designed by a professional napper.
Um, wow. I am also a person who was convinced for a long while I was a Hufflepuff but got sorted into Slytherin (seriously, wtf?), and this speaks to me in a way I never really understood before. I *am* loyal and try my best and spend a lot of emotional energy on trying to be a wise leader who turns out good results (I mean, are there people who don’t try to be wise and good???). And I’m not ambitious in the sense of wanting power, but I work super hard and want to do good things in life. So … maybe I’m a Slytherpuff? This has seriosuly changed my entire view on my life.
But no matter what, you’re pretty great for writing all that out (which, tbh seems like a super Hufflepuff thing to say). So, thanks 🙂
Hi hello Pottermore is bullshit, yes I said it. I am so sick of Pottermore incorrectly sorting all my friends and giving them existential crises. Read Sorting Hat Chats instead, and sort yourself. SORTING IS A CHOICE.
http://sortinghatchats.tumblr.com/thebasics
I’ve been sure I’m a Hufflepuff for years. I value loyalty and fairness and hard work. Pottermore put me in Ravenclaw. I am having an identity crisis. It’s ok to be stressed about this.
When I told my friend she said “I believe that all sorting tests are inherently flawed, and that’s why I’m Ravenclaw.”
I thought I was a Ravenclaw because I love reading and learning, I believe all knowledge is worth having, and I belive that if you have to lie to convince people to join your cause, you are not worth my time.
(I wish I was a Hufflepuff, but I’m not that cool)
I’m nor ambitious at all, though I do get bored easily.
But I agree with my sorting into Slytherin because I’ve been through some things in my life, and I know that when s**t goes down, I F*****G SURVIVE, no matter what that takes. That seems pretty Slytherin to me. Also point #2 above.
I have taken every Harry Potter quiz known to the internet to end up in Slytherin because I know in my heart of hearts that that is where I belong.
But I keep getting Ravenclaw and Gryffindor and I am getting reeeeeeeal tired of that bullshit.
I just said above that I created a new Pottermore account to take the new sorting quiz and it sorted me into Gryffindor despite never ONCE being sorted anywhere other than Slytherin EVER. I think the new sorting quiz at Pottermore is jacked up is what I’m saying. But also that the sorting hat would be able to read your thoughts so I’m sure IRL (hahaha) you’d be sorted properly so don’t worry.
This list cements my faith that Pottermore was wrong, and I am definitely not a Slytherin. Exhibit A: I am the opposite of judicious and shrewd about my time and energy. Exhibit B: I harbor a suspicion that, in my quest to make sure everyone knows cool things about, say, birds, or history, or Harry Potter itself, I may be a bit of a show-off about it.
Huffelpuff and proud. Grand adventures, ambition, and smarts are great and all, but so is tea and blankets and playing cooperative board games with your friends.
You forgot to mention baking a batch of biscuits (cookies if you’re American. Small cookies? I am never quite sure of this. Mine look like onion bhajis gone wrong, anyway) for when your friends come over to play cooperative board games, drink tea and coo at the cat.
Honestly Hufflepuff deserves more love than it gets. Hufflepuff has some damn fine people in it. When it came time to evacuate the castle, basically all the Slytherin left, and like half the Ravenclaws left…but all of the Hufflepuffs who were of age stayed, because it was the Right Thing To Do.
Tea and blankets and DESTROY YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH MONOPOLY. It’s like my family motto at this point. Bunch of Slytherins and Ravenclaws.
This right here, combined with my hatred of all typing systems from the MBTI onward to eneograms or whatever the hell,is why you cannot make me take the pottermore quiz. Nope not gonna.
I am very pleased to have never had the same MBTI result twice (which looking it up on Wikipedia puts me in good company with the majority of humanity).
Me either, I’m an ENFP or INFJ depending on the position of the stars and how recently I’ve eaten, which did result in a delightfully smartass paper when I was required to take it for a class in undergrad called ENFP: Elizabeth’s Not For Pseudoscience.
See, I’ve learned how to game that shit so I always get the same (extreme) result. According to MBTI, I am the most INTP-iest person you will ever meet. That’s because I’m not an idiot and I amuse myself by trying to give the test administrator a breakdown (I’m a Ravenclaw/Slytherin BTW. Can you tell?)
Lolol I like your moxie.
What I always remember is the books are British and Hogwarts is in the UK. Ambition meets something different there — here, “ambition” is basically the American Dream.
If JK Rowling really wanted to fuck with us, she’d create houses for the American schools….
There’s always the Old Spice houses from one of my favorite tumblr posts http://harrypotterconfessions.tumblr.com/post/997…
*jawdrop*
Hawkridge 4 Lyfe.
Hawkridge smells amazing, btw. Not at all like the “teenaged boy doused in Axe” that I was expecting.
That is a spectacular post. I use this deodorant. I’m all over the adorable, woodsy advertising and the neutral-ish scents. Wolfthorn smells straight up like a women’s deodorant, and Hawkridge is a less sweet vanilla. They’re trying hard to market this for men, but really it appeals to grown tomboys and the gender ambivalent.
Of course the American version of Ravenclaw is all truth and tactics and not overly academic. Bearglove would have Slytherin stigma and produce giant douche lords of the Wallstreet Bro variety.
I MUST LOOK FOR THESE WHEN NEXT I SHOP
I thought Foxglove was supposed to be the Slytherin equivalent.
Four houses. Easy. Trump, Bernie, Hillary, KeyAndPeele. (Key and Peele, in this case, are one house even though they’re two people. The more I think about it, the more America it looks.)
This is incredible/terrifying/accurate.
I used to be upset by my Slytherin tendencies. Then I realized that I have a document called “Lawful Evil Archives Management Plan” that I made BEFORE I took the Pottermore sorting hat quiz.
wait, what does this plan consist of? I am intrigued
The artsy kids are in Ravenclaw, and whether or not I’m intelligent I value intelligence above almost everything except good manners, honest kindness and jokes, and my dad would have disowned me if I hadn’t got into Smart People House, so…
ETA: my parents would totes have been “We don’t care if you got into wizard school; you should go to a proper (i.e. one that teaches foreign languages and the sciences and history) high school ANYWAY.”
Your values are my values.
This is how I picture Beauxbatons: double school for knowledge/magic and they get up to all kinds of shenanigans on museum trips and speak like sixteen languages, both Muggle amd magical.
Dammit, France, why ya gotta be better at life than us?
(I would be so interested in the history of magical education in the US and Canada- did it reflect Muggle society and have trends like open classrooms and the no homework/lots of homework pendulum, and are wizarding educational costs handled as badly as the rest of the nation’s, and are there élite institutions and public wizarding schools and how do *they* handle teaching magic and teaching critical thinking and geometry and civics?)
I may have thought about this. Is there a Wizarding Summerhill?
Wizarding Summerhill sounds terrifying. You want people to be taught how to do magic properly, or they’ll be going around screwing up charms and things and having to get St Mungo’s to sort it out!
Regular Summerhill sounds kind of terrifying to me too – but as with the real life one I WANT TO KNOW HOW IT WORKED.
Is one-third of their school year devoted to standardized tests?
Pottermore sorted me into Gryffindor, and I can’t get over this. Not ever. I wanted to be a Ravenclaw, and could imagine both Hufflepuff and Slytherin as well, but not Gryffindor. Just no.
The worst thing about this is that none of my friends understand why I’m upset about this: “But Gryffindor’s cool!”, “But you always loved Gryffindor!” – Yes, back when I was nine and didn’t think that a house where the hero wasn’t sorted in could be alright.
Don’t forget you can tell the hat what you want.
I feel like if you tell the hat what you want you should be shunted into Slytherin automatically.
I feel the same way about my recent Gryffindor sorting. In fact my coworker and I had a long (for us) conversation about how we’d both been put into Gryffindor and how it was wrong and we were obviously Ravenclaws.
Hm you know, the further down in these comments the more my suspicions about the new Pottermore quiz are firming up. You can’t just sort everyone into Gryffindor to make them happy! That’s not how sorting works! Sheesh. I just went back and reclaimed my old house with my old email address, Gryffindor be damned.
I just took it now after all of these comments, thinking I would likely be sorted into Ravenclaw or maybe Slytherin, and got Gryffindor. Madness. I would absolutely cut and run in any situation that posed a significant danger to myself. No regrets.
This is exactly how I felt when I was sorted into Gryffindor (with a side helping of extra rage).
Guys, I think I found this on a Toast thread (and maybe it’s already on here?), but you if you give enough of a fuck about this comment here, you MUST read Sorting Hat Chats. I read every single post over a week, and it was beautiful.
The perfect combination of navel-gazing, judging other people, and talking about TV shows. http://sortinghatchats.tumblr.com/
(If anyone cares, I’m a Ravenclaw primary with a Slytherin secondary and a pretty decent Hufflepuff performance.)
YES. Sorting Hat Chats is excellent and wicked insightful. I’m a Ravenclaw primary too, Gryffindor secondary, with a very strong Hufflepuff performance courtesy of a fundamentalist childhood.
Oh damn, this is going to throw off my whole day’s work schedule.
I just learned that I’m a Hufflepuff, after long assuming I was a Ravenclaw. Does this mean I’m more nice than smart? Being smart is way more important than being nice. Everything I believed is a lie. Did I just take it wrong? Was I only answering with what I thought was the right thing to do but not what I’d actually do?! I’m going to go eat All the Bread now. Goodbye, cruel world
I think being a Hufflepuff is about more than being nice…it’s about valuing hard work, friendship, and trust above all else in my understanding. As someone mentioned up thread, you don’t have to be smart to be in Ravenclaw, and the smart people do not necessarily end up there (Hermione!). It’s about what they value, which is cleverness above all else.
This happened to me, too! And then I realized that I had given my alcoholic husband about 400 more chances than I should have, because LOYALTY, and I went…Oh. Hufflepuff. Right.
I have fully embraced my Slytherin-ness. (See: my ownership of this robe <a href="http://www.harrypottershop.com/product/slytherin+cotton+adult+bathrobe+hppirobe06.do" target="_blank"> ;http://www.harrypottershop.com/product/slytherin+… ). I am weird and love random facts, but I am also a little ruthless about pursuing my goals and ambitions. Those ambitions are to be awesome at my job that involves helping people, but look, not all Slytherins are evil, okay? Ambition is only bad if directed towards bad ends.
Also, after reading JKR’s description of the Slytherin common room, which sounds lovely and soothing, I’ve decided I have embraced the tumblr headcannon about mermish sign language and would be that person who expanded a sign language with the merpeople in the Great Lake, since the windows look out into it, and then set up a bustling barter system with them. And then went on to learn Mermish and become a respected advocate for them with the Dept of Magical Creatures. And maybe also a successful tradesperson, because of the aforementioned barter system.
Rome = TOTALLY Slytherin.
now i really want a post sorting all celebs and famous characters into different houses.
not all Slytherins
I was sorted into Slytherin. I didn’t like this, (both my kids and my husband are Ravenclaws) so I went back and redid my answers to be more Ravenclaw-y. I was sorted again into Slytherin. It occurred to me that being shady and redoing the sorting was exactly what a Slytherin would do.
#Slytherinrepresent
I really love the conversations around Sorting Hat Chats, they make way more sense than most of the sorting nonsense I’ve found.
When trying to find that link, I discovered this quote from me, about me, in my email:
“Every evil wizard that ever was came out of Slytherin? Great, all the more reason people shouldn’t fuck with me.”
Also, that quote from the book is actually a bit of an inconsistency. Because when Hagrid says “there wasn’t a witch or wizard who went bad who wasn’t in Slytherin”, he is still under the impression that Sirius Black went bad.
yessssssssssssss
>When trying to find that link, I discovered this quote from me, about me, in my email:
>”Every evil wizard that ever was came out of Slytherin? Great, all the more reason people shouldn’t fuck with me.”
goddammit do I ever love you.
Oh, it gets better— that particular mood was as strong as it was because you were in the hospital at that particular moment.
…oh dear. I have the loveseat version of that couch in my private office.
Totally serious question: where did you get it?? I’m in the market for a loveseat exactly like that.
I have no idea. We have an excess of office furniture, so when it came time to decorate my office I just picked a desk, credenza, chairs and my couch from the storage room. 🙁
I mean, it’s a pretty awesome couch.
I went to a school that had houses, and I’m retroactively disappointed that they didn’t sort us by personality type (they were all named after catholic martyrs, there’s some good material there!).
I accepted my slythrin-ness, but I got the evil wand type as well, so I’m a little worried. Maybe if I get an Evil patronus when that quiz comes out, I should genuinely be concerned.
I got a really goody two-shoes wand. Like “You’re super loyal and good, and aren’t terribly flexible, also, you will destroy anyone who crosses you.”
I have so many feelings about Slytherin friendships and partnerships and relationships.
I know Slytherin is designated as the ‘outsider’ house, but with all their attributes I don’t understand how? Yes, loyalty to your chosen few and ambition and ruthlessness probably make Slytherin House more inwardly focused, but to the extent we never see other House friendships?!
Slytherin students that aren’t Draco Malfoy and the Pussycats probably scoped out the best Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff students to figure out who to partner with in class, because a.) no Slytherin wants to be considered a failure in class and b.) you’re going to want allies should another Dark Lord appear and the whole school considers you Junior Nazis just waiting to earn your Murder Badges.
Pansy Parkinson was definitely angling for an advantageous Pureblood marriage with Draco, but when the Malfoy name started to wane she had to have gone out into the wide world of Inter-House dating. You can’t tell me her parents hadn’t been pushing her to make several connections. Pinning all their hopes on the Malfoy boy would be crazy talk!
Rowling went the easy route making Slytherin all insular and I have been angry about it since I was thirteen.
>Rowling went the easy route
That’s the entire series.
I mean I don’t blame her really they were the first books she’d written and the first couple were (young) children’s books. It just kind of got out of hand and all the easy routes she took in the beginning had to be justified later and it never really worked.
Those are really good points. Truly resourceful folk aren’t going to put all their eggs in one basket; that’s for the true believers. The movie made a fine showing of how the Malfoys at the end were made to regret their choices and turned Slytherin tail on Voldemort. Turns out the welfare of your kid is a pretty big motivator to walk away from Unstable Magic Hitler.
A Ravenclaw probably would have been able to anticipate that.
What’s ridiculous is in HBP, Rowling kind of shades with a little more depth – I think it’s mentioned how Crabbe and Goyle look ‘oddly lonely’ without Malfoy; but by DH, it’s all ‘Hahaha, henchmen revolt time!’
i haven’t taken my sorting hat quiz yet but it never fails to give me joy when people come together to diss Gryffindor
I felt the same ambivalence about being sorted into Gryffindor that most people here seem to feel about being sorted into Slytherin.
I can’t upvote this enough.
I just took a knockoff of the Pottermore quiz, bc ugh creating an account, and got the expected result, and I am so mad at the “what potion would you take?” question. A Ravenclaw would NOT take a wisdom potion, because the FUN part is the LEARNING.
Harrumph.
(Is it a Ravenclaw thing to overanalyze the questions, or does everyone do that?)
Ahahahahaha that is totally a Ravenclaw thing to do. Whenever someone asks a question about nearly anything, I am like WHAT ARE THE ASSUMPTIONS BEHIND YOUR QUESTION.
But wisdom doesn’t keep you from learning! It makes you enjoy the process more, because rather than just giving a clever answer, you get to enjoy the exploration and learn from the process. (I’m delighted to have just gotten a Ravenclaw result)
The Pottermore sorting quiz is bunk, and I have taken it four different times leaving time in between to forget the questions and I have got all four different houses. Moon or stars? Left or right? What pet do you want? The questions are completely arbitrary. What if you associate barn owls with different attributes than I do? What if I actually want a pet crow but you didnt give me that option? What if I’m allergic to birds?
Its a dumb quiz guys, you’re in whatever house you want to be, stop stressing.
Wait are you telling me an internet personality quiz is unreliable?
I know its difficult to accept but now you can be free
I… uh.
I… damn, I’m gonna need some time to process this.
Not all Slytherins are wizard Nazis.
You just keep telling yourself that, Jaya.
(I have never taken the Pottermore Sorting quiz, because if I came out as something other than a Ravenclaw I would take it as yet another sign of my academic decline and become overwhelmed with despair.)
I get Gryffindor EVERY. TIME. and I really don’t feel like it suits me, but tbh probably the way in which it should be most obvious to me that it’s right is the automatic pang of distrust I get whenever someone ID’s as Slytherin.
My parents are unabashed Hufflepuffs. The older I get, the more their ethical teachings have been absorbed into my own thinking and behavior. But they also valued intelligence, and above all the ability to use intelligence to help others.
Therefore, Ravenpuff for life.
My brother, on the other hand, is a Slytherin. Not sure how that happened.
I’m pretty sure everyone in my family are ravenclaws except my mother, who is definitely a slytherin.
Hufflepuff forever. I don’t care, I like being kind.
I always thought this was one of the weaknesses of the series. Rowling certainly implied that not all Slytherin are bad, but never bothered to actually show any non-bad Slytherin students. All it would have taken is one quick exchange after Malfoy did something Malfoy-y.
HP: Is he always like this?
Generic Slytherin: You have no idea…
Oh, and, of course, I had to go register and take the test. Ended up Ravenclaw, as expected, but not sure how the test got that.
Slughorn is a non-evil Slytherin.
He epitomises a lot of Slytherin traits, but he is shown to Not Be Evil. I feel like most politicians are Slytherins and that makes me understand the not evil bit. (Cause they’re not all evil guys!)
100% Ravenclaw, but Pottermore last gave me Gryffindor. While I deleted my account with that email because, just, no, it did send me into a weird self-reflection period.
Relevant question: would intense imposter syndrome about being a Ravenclaw be a Ravenclaw trait? It’s definitely not a Gryffindor trait, for sure.
Imposter syndrome absolutely would be a Ravenclaw trait! I mean, it’s worst in, you know, the muggle world among really smart academic types who are just super into knowing stuff, so… yeah. Imposter syndrome about belonging in Ravenclaw = 100% Ravenclaw.
Maybe if Merlin hadn’t been a Slytherin, he’d have given useful information, rather than oblique hints. Example: “The child resulting from your incestuous union will kill you and tear apart your kingdom. Here is a list of all your secret relatives so you can avoid this situation. Don’t fuck your sister/aunt/cousin, and also don’t murder all the toddlers. Kthxbai.”
I’m just saying, a Ravenclaw might thought to have shared all of the relevant information, rather than only some of it, with no context to make it useful at all.
I bet Nyneve was a Ravenclaw: hanging out with icky old dudes is worth it for LEARNING.
(Oh, dear, I may have just summed up the university or college experience for a lot of people.)
“smart and a showoff about it” is absolutely my brand, now that you mention it.
I was something of a wannabe goth as a teen (because it made being weird tolerable), and as you can imagine I embraced Slytherin hard. I totally ignore all the terrible stuff and was like, “They live in a dungon under a like and nobody like them and they are cool with their snakes.” Any Quizilla sorting hats, I purposefully picked the most Slytherin choices, even if they weren’t the truest choices.
Fast forward to now, I’m considerably better adjusted. I have learned hid the weirdness, shyness and some of the awkwardness (one day I will learn grace), and am basically kind and hardworking. I’ve embraced being a Hufflepuff, and am only slightly bitter that yellow is a house color. I decide to join Pottermore to get confirmation of Hufflepuff.
It puts me in Slytherin. I must have some kind of unexamined evil in my soul.
Okay, so what’s the ration of wands to houses? Like, are Ravenclaws more likely to have certain wands as opposed to Slytherins? Inquiring mind wants to know….
I’ve never taken the pottermore quiz, and I’ve always just assumed I would be in Ravenclaw because, nerd. As long as we’re discussing fictional personality sorting, though, it occurs to me that my Myers-Briggs type is INTJ, which is a classic Slytherin type if there ever was. But! I also try hard to be kind and accepting, and Hufflepuff is actually kind of my favorite house, so, Slytherpuffs unite?
Guys. I’ve come back to say I’m pretty sure the Hogwarts Houses map onto astrology/occult elemental stuff. Water signs=Slytherin, Fire signs=Gryffindor, Earth signs=Hufflepuff, Air signs=Ravenclaw. Hells bells, even the color schemes and where they are located in the building TOTALLY support this.
Agree. There’s no way those things were accidental.
Libra, Ravenclaw, yep.
But then Pisces = Slytherin and I feel like we cry too much for that? (So much crying. God damn water signs.)
Hmm, I dunno, though. I’m a Slytherin Capricorn. Though, not to go all Blanche Dubois or anything, but, “My sign is the Earth, but it should have been the Water.”
i’m a scorpio slytherin so…
Ok so I was really happy to be a Hufflepuff for a huge chunk of my life (like 8 years), and then suddenly I retake the pottermore quiz (because “we redid the quiz to make it more accurate!”), and I’m a Ravenclaw?
Which doesn’t upset me too much, seeing as Hufflepuff is my favourite house, and Ravenclaw my second favourite, but also, being a Huffleclaw/Ravenpuff makes me sound like an extremely boring person. Like, do you even want world domination? No!!!! Have some cookies and read my books, and LEARN MORE about how to be a NICE PERSON!!!! Have a cookie, I love you random stranger!!!!
That being said, I wanted to be a Gryff when I was 9-ish, because Golden Trio, but also I was a douchey little girl, so that might also explain that.
(Also, the Ravenclaw sorting sent me into a bit of a tailspin, because my friends have always classified me as HUGELY primary puff, then a bit secondary claw. But also I do treasure cleverness in friends AS LONG AS THAT CLEVERNESS has to do with being a nice person. Just the other day, I brought up the 1968 Black Power salute with a guy, who immediately lit up and started talking about the civil rights movement animatedly and I was extremely enamoured for all of 10 seconds.)
I maintain that the Pottermore quiz is inaccurate and a huge waste of time though, I am still primarily puff and I refuse to accept any other result.
I have never taken a sorting quiz because in my deepest heart I want to be a Slytherin (People can fuck off unless it benefits me, I want to be successful and will do what ever I have to, including dropping people/places that aren’t working for me), but I could not take the heartbreak of being told I’m not one.
Has anyone ever mapped The Houses against a cultural values matrix? Like Hofstede’s values? I imagine Slytherin is very high on Individualism, whereas Hufflepuff would be all about the collective, Gryffindors would be for sure be masculine, I dunno about Ravenclaws, maybe feminine? I haven’t read up on my Hofstede in awhile…. I’m really hoping someone has written this article already, because I really want to read it and I’m not smart enough to write it.
I am extremely loyal but not blindly so. I will do anything to protect my friends once they’ve earned my trust and it takes a lot for them to break it, but once that line is crossed it is scorched fucking earth and I do not see a problem with that.
…
There’s nothing wrong with being judicious, and maybe edging on shrewd, about your time and energy. I’m a busy woman and can’t be wasting time on relationships that aren’t at least mutually emotionally fulfilling.
My fucking people.
Because I’m a bit of an Old, this thread is fascinating to me. I read the HP series and I identity with one of the houses, but I was already in my 30s by the time the series ended and I never visited the Pottermore site or got caught up in any of the peripheral online universe of HP. It’s a weird sensation of understanding the characters and context for these discussions, but not really the emotional weight of them.
YOOOOO GRYFFINDORZ 4 LYYYYYYFE
Seriously, though, I know I'm not gonna be happy unless I'm in the "trenches" of education. The day I take a cushy private school job is the day I sell out and hand in my ruby-encrusted sword.
You are all my people and I love you.
…I’ve always felt like the houses could be broken down to Ambition (Slytherin), Loyalty (Hufflepuff), Courage (Gryffindor), and Intelligence (Ravenclaw)–whichever of those traits you most value is the house to which you belong.
I wish Rowling would write another series, maybe even short stories, about the adventures of the other houses. There is *so* much there! Hufflepuff is the place you know everyone goes when they’re having a shitty day; you go to Ravenclaw for valuable advice and research help; Gryffindor when you need someone to encourage you; and Slytherin to help you develop your goals and dreams. Every house is a good house, or at least an interesting one.
#totallyaRavenclaw
#askmeaboutmywallofbooks
Excellent take on the benefits of a friend in each house. I’m going to steal your “Slytherin to help you develop your goals and dreams” line.
😀
My favorite Slytherins are my dear architect friend and my mentor–they are both THE BEST at simultaneously encouraging me to work harder and helping me see where I need to focus more. They are treasures, and I adore them.
“Not all Slytherins are wizard Nazis.”
No indeed! Some are Wizard Vichy-French, or Fifth-Columnists.
i’m late to the HP party. just got sorted… Slytherin.
*goes back to read comments*
(edit: the hat has chosen correctly.)
The Sorting Hat always enraged me. Oh, it can look inside the head of an 11-year old and decide what defines them as a person, then throw them in a house with people who share all of their most pronounced characteristics? Good, good.
And there’s mysteriously an even number of each house in every incoming class? Of course, makes sense. Definitely won’t lead to a clique of extremist weirdos with a handful of bewildered kids thrown in to make up the numbers.
Also, having worked at a private school for some time, there’s no way someone from Alumni Relations isn’t conferring with the hat beforehand about whose father is a Gryffindor stan who also endowed the Arithmancy chair.
It is outside of school. I'm sure there's a singing group right near you. Look for "Fa So La" or "sacred harp" groups near you!
but I *like* my salads undressed …
Here is where I admit that I'm jealous of people who eat their salads sans-dressing. I love the taste of butter lettuce and am pretty fond of the taste of most lettuce but I am not capable of appreciating tastes quite that subtle on their own. I realize that being such a person has no relevance to any other aspect of a person but it would make me feel like a dainty, elegant flower.