“I is so big. How I get so big?”
The BBC’s Brexit coverage is here (it’s a rule not to cover campaigns on polling day, so the numbers will be updated but nothing else.) Here is some good background reading on what this is all about (our UK Toasties by and large care very passionately about Remain, as do I.) We haven’t talked enough about Brexit OR Jo Cox in the comments and I know our UK Toasties would appreciate it if we did, they are always here for the stuff that matters to Americans.
never have I been so happy not to be a Real Journalist, and also this is all very depressing but there you go:
This approach, despite its obvious journalistic advantages (you’re less likely to get stuff wrong), can frequently put you in awkward positions. You can find yourself, for instance, visiting a river every morning hoping to find a murder victim. Most foreign correspondents I know would probably object to my use of that word, “hoping.” They would probably say that we don’t want bad things to happen; we just want to witness them if they do. It’s a legitimate distinction, but one that, in the field, can feel semantic. In the field, we are actively, aggressively seeking to see with our own eyes the reality of war, famine, disaster—and who isn’t at least somewhat gratified when he discovers what he’s sought, at least somewhat disappointed when he doesn’t? I first became aware of this predicament when I was living in Afghanistan. In those years, 2011 to 2014, the public affairs apparatus of the U.S. military was working hard to orchestrate an optimistic—and deeply fanciful—perception of the war’s progress so as to characterize our withdrawal from the country as a “transition,” not a retreat. The effort involved preventing journalists from embedding with American units deployed to areas overwhelmingly dominated by the Taliban. For me and my colleagues in Kabul, one way around this cynical program of obfuscation was to embed with the Afghan security forces. Now, imagine you’re on a mission with a platoon of Afghan soldiers in a valley that you know to be under the control of insurgents, and imagine your task is to show that fact. On the one hand, you don’t want the soldiers to be ambushed—what kind of person would want that?—but on the other, the only reason you came to that valley in the first place was the high likelihood that they’d be ambushed and your desire to be with them when they were. Which is to say, I think, that you do want them to be ambushed.
I work for a small business as an accountant. My direct boss is the owner of the company. Every two to three months, he’ll start complaining that it’s “not fair” that I get to travel (in my personal life) more than he does.
I know that I’m super lucky to be able to afford these trips, but it’s not like luck is the only reason I get to go travel. I take one or two trips a year and spend the rest of the year saving up.
When I try to brush his complaints off (by saying we just have different priorities), he’ll straight out tell me I’m wrong and that it’s all because he can’t afford it, because the company won’t pay him more. He’ll then try to get sympathy from me or anyone else nearby.
I am TENTATIVELY optimistic about The BFG, but it’s one of my most beloved childhood books, and so that’s always tough:
“Everything was designed—the entire production was designed—for two actors to be constantly in eye contact with each other,” Spielberg says. “That was essential.” Barnhill was 10 when shooting started, and this was her first film. “I knew immediately,” Spielberg explains, “that Ruby was going to need as much authenticity as we could create for her.” No normal child can be expected to carry on poignant conversations with a clay maquette or a tennis ball hanging in front of green screen to approximate the location of a digital giant’s face. “I knew that if Mark could always see Ruby’s eyes when he was acting, and Ruby could always see Mark’s eyes, that they would find companionship and authenticity.”
I just discovered this iPhone feature yesterday, but if you have a passcode (you should have a passcode!), you can go to the useless Health app and select “Medical ID.” It lets you fill in emergency contact info, allergies, blood type, etc., and has a toggle switch to make it accessible from your lockscreen without entering the passcode. So, basically, if Something Happens, emergency responders can find out who to call and not to give you sulfa drugs or whatever, even if you are Completely Indisposed. It’s super handy, very easy, and you should fill it out and enable it!
Here’s what’s happening with the sit-in. Here is why the no-fly list is racist and secretive and bad, which is a very important conversation to have, even if it doesn’t impact how you feel about the sit-in. If I were running things (hah) I would have made the sit-in firmly about universal background checks, because #noflynobuy is just crummy and Muslim-baiting.
we need universal background checks though, hells bells
Bomani Jones and Ta-Nehisi Coates:
In your back-and-forths with Sullivan and Jonathan Chait, they seemed to be wondering what was wrong with you. What was your thought when people said you seemed down, when you believed you were dealing in facts?
That’s what they say when they can’t fight you. They abandon the whole thought of any sort of empirical, historical, evidence-based argument, and they say, “Well, I don’t like where you’re coming from.” It’s like if I tell you I have empirical evidence that the world is going to end in five days and you’re like, “I don’t like how that sounds. Why are you bumming me out?” That’s something people apply to the dialogue around racism but they don’t apply to other shit. Kathryn Schulz won a Pulitzer Prize for this incredible piece that basically says the Pacific Northwest is going to get hit by a huge tsunami that will kill a lot of people. It’s the most pessimistic, dire shit you’d ever want to read. What if they said to Schulz, “You could sing us a song”? When people can’t fight you, they say, “Why are you so pessimistic?” It’s a different question than “Are you correct?”
Sarah McLachlan and early pantsfeelings:
I encountered “Possession” four years after it launched on the radio waves. And yet, when my ears first pricked to its siren call, it seemed impeccably of the moment. In 1997, we ensconced ourselves in a self-serious, druidic atmosphere. We liked our romance with either Celtic or monastic overtones — preferably both — and Enya reigned as our earth-dwelling goddess. My mother listened to Loreena McKennitt’s The Book Of Secrets in our kitchen — that is, when I hadn’t pinched it to gorge myself on “Dante’s Prayer” and “The Highwayman.” Later that year I would twirl in euphoric circles as theTitanic score issued its lament from my portable stereo. “Possession” did not borrow from these Celtic musical conventions, but its earnest ethereality nonetheless marked it as part of the New Age zeitgeist.
Eater tries out Gwyneth Paltrow’s and Chrissy Teigen’s new cookbooks, it’s a delight:
The next G.P. meal was somewhat less successful. I was seduced by a beautiful photo of congee with a sexy orange-yolked egg under a sprinkling of herbs and furikake seasoning. G.P. explains that congee is typically a breakfast dish but that she makes it as a “lazy dinner.” There is nothing lazy about a dinner that takes 30-40 minutes to simmer, during which you must stir it every five minutes to prevent sticking—while also making the eggs and the homemade furikake seasoning. I guess the non-homemade kind has some verboten ingredient? G.P.’s take contains coconut sugar, which is like sugar with less sweetness and more weird dirt aftertaste. The whole endeavor took me about an hour. I found it difficult to crumble the sheets of nori using my fingers, as directed, so there were these biggish flakes on the surface of the congee, the same size and shape as fish food, and it smelled like the hot bar of a co-op grocery store.
okay one other part:
The more idiosyncratic and Chrissy-specific touches are in a chapter called “Thai Mom,” which includes her (Thai) mom’s recipes for things like soup with cooked, pork-stuffed cucumbers and a hangover-curing rice porridge that has ground pork in it and seems more promising than the pork-bereft G.P. version; Teigen writes that she served it to Eric Ripert once and he liked it and she cried. The other headnote I really liked was in the introduction to her kale salad, which is inspired by the one at Il Buco, where Teigen has enjoyed “many a booze-fueled lunch.” “Once I threw up so hard into their toilet that I hit my forehead and had to wear fake bangs for a week,” she writes. Anyone who mentions puking in the context of a recipe has my respect.
CASEY CEP ON EARLY AMERICAN MURDER:
It might have been antimony in the lemonade, laudanum in the coffee, morphine in the whiskey, or strychnine in the sugar bowl. Arsenic could be dusted over oysters, spread onto a bread-and-butter sandwich, stirred into beer, brandy, or cider, even steeped in chamomile tea. Poison was everywhere in early America, and poisoners could buy it anywhere. They told the grocer that they needed to rid their cupboards of mice, the druggist that they wanted something to quiet the bark of a stray dog, or the hardware-store clerk that they required something for killing minks. “The usual arsenic for the usual rats,” Thomas McDade observed of the murder, in 1815, of Ann Becker, by her husband, Barent, in Mayfield, New York—“this time served with stewed cranberries.”
McDade wasn’t a murderer, but he was interested in murder, and not just poisonings. When someone in America had been murdered, and anyone else had written about it, then McDade read the results, and took notes. One by one, Mrs. Becker’s arsenic-laced cranberries and hundreds of other historical homicides found their way into the squeaky green filing cabinet that he kept in his den. McDade became the Casaubon of crime literature, and the University of Oklahoma Press published his key to all murderologies in 1961, under the title “The Annals of Murder: A Bibliography of Books and Pamphlets on American Murders from Colonial Times to 1900.”
Brexit thread! The bookies are backing Remain and I am full of hope. Obvs our current system is imperfect and fucked up but at least it’s not Boris Johnson and Nigel fucking Farage in charge.
My polling place was surprisingly empty this morning. Hoping turn out is high, and not just in my grandparents’ village where everyone is a) passionately committed to voting and b) backing Leave.
Sending you guys jedi hugs from the US.
Turnout was high at mine, even at 7:30 am, in firmly Remain Manchester.
ETA: definitely higher than turnout for the general election actually.
I am so bummed about the sneering racism from some Outers and the sneering classism from some Remainers and also the fact that I might lose the right to live, work, and study in the city around which I’ve built my life. It’s a lot!
My coping strategy for today is to like ALL the #dogsatpollingstations on Instagram, however they voted. (I will also be here to discuss my informal Instagram Dogs Exit Poll after 22:00.)
the sneering classism from some Remainers yeah that has been really depressing. Labour in particular have done a really crap job of making the case that a lot of Leave-inclined people’s resentments (bad jobs and bad working conditions, overcrowded schools and GPs, etc) are LEGITIMATE but caused largely by Tory austerity measures, not the EU.
Yeah. This is my overall problem with Corbyn, really: I don’t really disagree with much that he does, but he seems to be consistently crap at communicating with people, which is incredibly sad and frustrating.
He really is! And he is so CIVIL in PMQs, it drives me mad. Go for the jugular, just once! You don’t win political points by being REASONABLE, and yes it’s ridiculous but your one-man stand isn’t going to change anything!
Thats an overall Labour problem. They refuse to challenge the Tory narrative or challenge any of the mainstream thinking.
It’s so frustrating. I feel like “hey, we’re not going to be mega radical, but we will stop incredibly rich people getting even richer at your expense” should walk an election, but apparently it’s more complicated than that.
I am holding out for Angela Eagle for 2020.
Also, here is my proxy Dog At A Polling Station:
Timothy is in his bag, because that’s how he rolls these days.
OH! I forgot about this delightful bebagged dog.
The photo stringers for the Washington Post seem to be in some kind of contest over who can take the most British photograph of the election. Currently winning in my estimate- extraordinarily old-looking lady walking to her polling place which appears to be an old prison* with puddles in the potholed street, with a close runner-up of two women who apparently rode their horses to their local polling station which is inside a manor house.
*Ah, it might be the Royal Hospital Chelsea, which does have a certain Victorian Institutional look to it.
*
As promised, here is my informal Instagram Dogs Referendum Exit Poll. I hope you enjoy it because writing it kept me sane today:
Perhaps unsurprisingly in a population consistently rewarded for Sitting and Staying, the Instagram Dogs were evenly split between Remain and Rather Not Say, with a few Leaves.
While the praise and treats associated with Staying was the primary reason given by Remain Dogs, access to French cheese was also a popular motivation for many to vote Remain. One legally minded dog cited the Human Rights Act as her favourite piece of legislation, while another felt that the Brussels Gravy Train sounded too delicious to give up.
The phenomenon of second-generation immigrants voting Leave could be seen among the Instagram Dogs with one German Shepherd saying that, even with his ancestry, he was voting to leave. In contrast, a King Charles Spaniel noted that he was named for a king who was a mixture of English, French, Scottish, and Danish and so he felt particularly European.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, several Border Terriers felt that strengthening the UK borders was only possible with Brexit. Other dogs felt that Brexit sounded deliciously like Biscuit, which was a strong factor in their decision to vote Leave.
The introduction of the EU Pet Passport Scheme has allowed many dogs to visit mainland Europe without a 6-month wait in quarantine on the way back. It has also facilitated the adoption of dogs from abroad. Many dogs from Romania, Spain, and Poland were proudly displaying their blue passports today and recounting how the EU had made it easier for their UK people to bust them out of dog prisons all across Europe.
On balance, the Instagram Dogs, at least, have probably voted Remain by 52 points to 48.
(Methods: All dogs were Liked on 23 June during polling hours. The above information comes from actual Instagram Dogs.)
Worth waiting for.
Phenomenal
I am trying to hope against hope that Remain will scrape it. But urgh. I’m so angry at the people I see on Facebook who are so excited at the idea that we might leave the EU when I know from what they’ve posted and what they’re saying that their excitement is 1) based on lies and 2) they are some of the people who might be bit hardest by an exit.
Everyone I’ve seen who is voting leave has said that it’s an entirely emotional decision and !!! that isn’t how this works! Your emotional attachment to the idea of good old Blighty cruising through the world carefree without those damned Brussels Eurocrats doesn’t make up for the actual, tangible losses we’ll experience from leaving the EU.
Hm, I disagree – I think that is how it works, because I know my Remain vote is 100% emotional and if Science proved beyond all reasonable doubt that the UK would be better off outside the EU, I’d still be pro-EU. I just wish it was a less ugly bunch of millionaire chancers playing on people’s emotions.
I’m not saying there’s no emotional basis to Remain votes as well, but the people I know voting Leave have *actively avoided* trying to find out anything about what might actually happen so there’s no chance of their being persuaded otherwise, and they’re proud of that fact. Everyone I know who’s voting Remain has at least tried to look at both sides.
Nope. Did not look at both sides at all.
I’m from a very pro-EU country and I’ve been fed the propaganda since birth and I took it all. The EU is brilliant.
Yes, pretty much me too!
I could be reassured by the thought that Americans don’t corner the market on voting against our own best interests. Instead, I’m just increasingly disappointed in humanity. Crossing fingers for you.
I admit to not having paid much attention to the particulars of this (I’m overwhelmed enough by our politics here), but now that I’m reading about it, it does seem to have a lot of parallels to what’s going on here.
Good luck, UK Toasties! And thank you for sharing with us.
I have such a deep antipathy for Boris Johnson and I haaaaaaaaate how many people are taken in by his ‘ho ho I am such a funny posh harmless man’ schtick. He is not a fool, he is a dangerous careerist.
I enjoyed him when he wrote about FAST CARS for like, the Spectator or whatever, GO BACK TO THAT.
Even from all the way in the US, I hate that man so much. I know it’s much worse when you’re actually in the same country.
He is frightening. I remember a lot of my peers voting for him in the 2008 mayoral election because they thought he was a ‘jokerrrr’ and 18 year olds are dumb.
He nearly ran over my dad on his bike once, so that’s another reason to dislike him.
ughh
I met a woman the other day who’d also nearly been mown down by him! The man is a menace on the roads!
Yeah I have actually heard from several people that he’s a really inconsiderate road user COLOUR ME SURPRISED.
He is just being a stereotype of himself.
I am not surprised AT ALL and I’m a freaking American. That fucking guy.
He was caught last summer breaking cycle laws “giving his wife a backie”
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/boris-johnso…
Boris has basically given himself diplomatic immunity. All he needs to do is say “old bean” a couple of times and fall over, and people will forgive whatever potentially career-ending misstep he’s just made because “aw, Boris is a LEGEND”. If Brexit fails (which I reeeeeally hope it does), Boris will probably do something exceptionally boneheaded in the following weeks to make people forget he was involved at all. He doesn’t even think Brexit is a good idea. Gaaaahhhh Boris.
This is so true I might scream. I regularly find myself in groups of people who just grin fondly whenever he is brought up and I feel like I am in the Twilight Zone
It’s terrifying. “Oh, he’s a funny posh buffoon! How hilarious!”. NO, he is awful and should be avoided.
Yes! I moved from Toronto under Rob Ford to London under Boris and people tried to warn me before I moved, but I thought “No, Ford is way more reckless and clueless”. It was only after I moved that I understood what they were trying to tell me, that Boris is actually not clueless. He is playing into it while knowing just what he is stirring up.
I just asked my polling place if turnout was high, and they said so-so. Which disappoints me a little, because I live in an area full of immigrants who consistently return Labour MPs, so I suspect that high turnout in my area would be good for Remain. Fingers crossed, though!
I’m really afraid about Brexit! It seems to be basically coming down to in the hearts of a lot of people is if you think immigrants are bad or not. Which is a horrible thing to have in one election, let alone two within a year! I hope remain and human decency prevail. (Not that all people who want leave are bad people, but the movement itself is bad so idk how to reconcile that with the people who have legitimate reasons for wanting to leave but those reasons aren’t the ones being debated on a national stage)
I know people who are voting leave based on immigration who are second generation immigrants! Not just one people, two separate people! Ridiculous.
I have some sociologist friends who have alluded in the past to a not-uncommon pattern of second-gen immigrants doing stuff like this as part of adopting their new country/culture. I will see if they have some studies to link.
Yup, aka “pulling up the ladder”
Same here and I do not understand it.
From across the pond, I am watching this so closely. I hope Britain Remains! Everything I’ve read or heard from the Leave crowd seems so emotional and reactionary, which is definitely how we as humans tend to approach the world but is no way to make national decisions.
“Obvs our current system is imperfect and fucked up but at least it’s not Boris Johnson and Nigel fucking Farage in charge.” Exactly. That’s what I keep saying to my leftist friends here in the US, who are like, “But isn’t the EU kind of terrible?” Sure. But Brexit means handing power to the most bigoted, small-minded, reactionary segment of British politics.
My best friend is in London right now and I told her to tell any wafflers that if they didn’t vote Remain, she’d vote Trump.
Brexit would also mean a huge amount of re-negotiation of trade deals etc – and we wouldn’t have enough experienced negotiators! I found this Robert Colvile article fascinating – he’s a Eurosceptic investigating all the changes that we’d have to deal with in the event of the Leave voters winning, and it’s very worrying.
https://medium.com/@rcolvile/a-eurosceptic-case-f…
I was going to threaten that myself, but I don’t know anyone voting Leave. 😀
But the guy and his blind mum at the village polling place — what’s your take on that? It was all over my Twitter feed and that guy is doubling down on his story — that his mum is blind, but not, you know, ::blind:: blind, but with macular degeneration, and so that’s why she yelled out loudly, “Which box for leave?” and the village polling place, according to this one guy’s account, erupted in loud applause and Queen Victoria, not dead at all this whole time but just sleeping, walked up to the blind, but not ::blind:: blind, woman, kissed her eyes and healed her?
<3
Also, relevant tweet:
https://twitter.com/SimonNRicketts/status/7459512…
Oh my god the blind mum thing is a real tweet
We don’t deserve the EU, we don’t deserve anything
Literally the whole thing is bonkers and then also too his actual Twitter timeline is just him saying, again and again, “macular degeneration” and “a small village hall.”
Burn it all down.
Also, “It happened in a small village hall” is my new, “I don’t know, maybe?”
I heard that guy is shredded, like, an eight pack.
I was expecting a queue when I went at lunchtime but the dudes said it had been a steady trickle all day and turnout had been high.
I am away all day tomorrow, getting on a plane at 8.30am, so am hoping to ignore it all until I get home! Feeling slightly sick at what might happen.
My polling station was about normal for the pre-work voting crowd; I think everyone around me goes after work. On of my devs said there was a queue at his station this morning! So that’s a good sign!
My dept head is still leaning ‘out’ and he claims its not because he doesn’t like the EU, in fact he likes the EU a lot. Its a moral decision because the EU is ‘undemocratic’ and there is an un-elected elite who run in and make all the decisions. I pointed out that the UK doesn’t elect its PM either, and he said that was different, as if Cameron doesn’t have an un-elected board of cronies that he answers to.
Also, we don’t elect the House of Lords or the Queen. (I mean, I am extremely against the Queen having any sort of political power, and am not sure how I feel about the House of Lords, but if he is morally opposed to the one, he should logically be morally opposed to the other.)
Yeah, I’ve been keeping my mouth shut 1: because I’m an American in London, and 2: because I don’t know anyone voting Leave, but WTF people? You’re upset about the EU being an undemocratic institution when you live in a constitutional monarchy!!?? How? What?
I am SO scared. Johnson and Farage are doing this because it’s politically expedient for them, but in order to get what they want they’re tapping into a) genuine fears and b) latent racism. A lot of people are VERY angry, and that’s not going to go away no matter what the outcome of this vote is.
The vast majority of people I know are very strongly Remain, and several of them had to wait in long queues to vote this morning, so I hope turnout will be high and we won’t choose to do something this criminally stupid. Fingers crossed.
Woke up early to vote today. I’m very frightened of what might happen if we leave the EU, and so discouraged by the focus on immigration. Britain has a real problem with racism that we just kind of… pretend isn’t there even when it boils over. Feeling very ashamed of that.
I am completely horrified that about half of the UK think Leave is a valid option, and I fear for all minorities here.
Sending good wishes from Ireland. Ireland would really really like the UK to remain. On top of the whole misguided racism issues the UK leaving the EU could potentially screw over the Irish economy and complicate things with Northern Ireland which has been getting tons of coverage here but I haven’t seen discussed at all in the UK.
Yeah, I saw news the other day talking about how the UK leaving could potentially mean tougher border controls between NI and the Republic, which would not improve things in the slightest.
No, it’s barely been discussed. It was only when I was talking to my Irish relatives at a family gathering a few weeks ago that I realised just how insular and selfish the debate has been in the UK overall.
I mean I’m not sure that the Leave voters would care about the damage to Ireland but I’m surprised it hasn’t been discussed at all. There’s been a whole “phone a friend” campaign publicised here to encourage Irish people to call friends and family in the UK and encourage them to vote remain.
It hasn’t been discussed at all here. Most people think that the UK is an Island probably.
Also the UK and Ireland have a long trading history; where is the UK gonna get all their beef from when the price goes up 200% because their now an outside nation trading with the EU bloc.
Yeah the amount of trade between Ireland and the UK according to the Irish Times is 1.2 billion euros a week so the trade impact will definitely be felt by both countries. Do you know why remain campaign haven’t focused on the specific relationship between Ireland and the UK which I feel is more concrete than this amorphous concept of Europe?
I think its probably because a large chunk of the British population think Ireland = part of Britain, not part of Europe.
Like I don’t think they get taught a whole lot about Ireland and its history with the British; beyond ‘used be ours, like all these other countries, isn’t anymore’
Also Ireland and the UK have pre-EU arrangements like freedom of movement and such (Essentially, Irish people are treated as citizens while living in the UK, and I think British people get the same in Ireland) that probably cover trade as well, so if it does pass and somehow the UK gets out of the freedom of movement deal with the EU (which is doubtful) then Irish people will be fine.
Trade is a different story though, because Ireland is the EU’s bitch and has to do everything its told, so who knows how vindictive the EU will get.
And I’m gonna join you from Germany to say please stay, UK. We really really want you to, and we actually super duper need you because reforming the European Union without you…well. I don’t know that that’s going to go very far.
Crossing my fingers and holding my thumbs!
The Bild headline today was amazing!
Fingers crossed for Remain from across the pond. As others have said above, the parallels between what Leave and Trump are tapping into pretty much draw themselves. I don’t think Trump will win and I very much hope you’ll Remain, but I get most scared to think about how much these xenophobic and racist sentiments gain strength and legitimacy through campaigns like these, even if they ultimately fail.
I voted first thing this morning and found myself almost in tears as I came out of the polling booth. I am so afraid it will go to the Leave camp.
*clings to Toasties*
Opinions on the “take a biro so they can’t rub out your mark and rig it for remain” bs that UKIP is spouting? Because I am honestly astounded at the ridiculousness – like, that’s exactly why they give us coloured pencils? Because you can’t rub them out?
Do you get coloured pencils? I’m sure all the polling stations I’ve ever been to had normal ones. (It’s still a ridiculous conspiracy theory, though.)
A black coloured pencil, yeah. At least at my polling station.
I have not been paying enough attention when voting, clearly.
One of my friends pointed out that, as vote-rigging goes, this would be the most staggeringly inefficient and time-consuming and crap way to do it. Can you imagine?
Turnout (lunchtime) was normal here in our corner of Mr Corbyn’s constituency. I can’t vote, being one of those dirty foreigner immigrants who ruins the country by paying far more in tax than I use in public services and being barred from claiming benefits of any kind, but I always go down the road with my husband for a post polling pint.
Is anyone else planning to stay up all night watching the returns? The Graun has a nice guide for when results are expected and when it’s probably safe to power nap/make more coffee/fetch the celebration/commiseration whisky. http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2016/jun/23/r…
I’m also in JC’s hood! I would love to stay up but I’m at home with small people tomorrow and they would suffer.
Woo, toasties of Islington North unite! Mr Wordchild and I thus far only have a cat, who will be all too delighted to have her humans available for 2am petting. But I suppose it’s even chances that little ones will get you up early enough for the interesting bit from 5am…
Laurie Penny’s article summed up how I feel about the entire thing: http://www.newstatesman.com/politics/uk/2016/06/e…
Difficult to feel positive about having to choose between David Cameron and Boris Johnson.
Also. The comments about second-generation immigrants’ choosing to vote Leave being “ridiculous”. I think it’s interesting that there is this variety of sentiment among second gen people actually. I’m not sure there should be an expectation that all first, second, third gen folks’ experiences and beliefs should be one and the same – lives are more nuanced/complex than that I’m sure, without even factoring in wildly different social and economic situations over time. I think it warrants more study anyway, and I’d like to see more discussion in the mainstream media about it.
There are conspiracy theories about the pencils in the voting booths. I cannot with this country sometimes.
What upsets me is that, whatever the result, there are going to be costs to this that will be a stick for whichever side to beat everyone with. And the futile hope that we can stop banging on about it all after we’ve voted… we all know this is going to go on and on and on, probably for years.
I did notice new people in my polling station this morning (from the questions they were asking, not weirdy stalking). I was torn between being glad they were there and very cross that they hadn’t bothered to vote in the very, very recent mayoral elections. Tsk.
British Toasts, I am so sorry about the result!
I’m American but will be going to Britain shortly and spent today following the live vote count instead of working with my British coworker. It was pretty grim in our office today.
I, too, wish that the sit-in was solely on the background check issue. I think it is the much stronger of the two bills and the one that would do the most actual good. However, I heard rumors that the “No fly, No Buy” bill also included changing the way the list works in order to get due process. Is this incorrect? Or does it just not go far enough in ensuring Civil Rights aren’t violated?
I am just glad we are finally having the conversation. I really think public opinion is starting to get behind tangible action on gun control NOW.
I am hoping that if we can get this passed, it will break the mindset that sensible gun reform is impossible and will never happen. Which will then allow congress to pass more and better laws about gun control.
Certainly this will be the bill to convince a skeptical public that ‘gun control’ is not a Democratic codeword for suspending the Bill of Rights at whim
Likewise on both counts.
One of the heartening things is that, watching the CSPAN feed, the chant may be “no fly no buy” but the discussion on the floor is all about UBCs, domestic violence, and so forth.
The discussion has been amazing and eye-opening. I don’t think even the Democrats in Congress ever really sat down before this and listed out the ways that gun violence had effected them personally. The stories of family members lost, suicides, domestic abuse and mass shootings were all heartbreaking, and I think it made a difference hearing them all in one space. It was overwhelming.
And I was glad to hear that they brought up the CDC not being able to study gun violence. This is really the stuff we need to be talking on.
The CDC’s been able to study gun violence for a while now, the studies they’ve been releasing jut haven’t been one magical study prophecied to totally put an arrow through the tiny undefended patch over the NRA’s heart that the politicians using that as an outrage email forward hoped for, so they just pretend nothing’s happened and nobody fact-checks them
I don’t know if it got me any info that wasn’t available through periscope, but last night I went down to the Capitol and sat in the gallery for a while. Turns out you can just do that if you’re in DC? Would recommend if you get the chance. Anyway, I don’t think I heard much at all about the actual bill, except maybe a few statements about “we can’t even hold a vote to keep *terrorists* from buying guns! Where’s the common sense!” I think the no-fly thing is 100% meant to shame Republicans who claim to be “tough on security” just because they put somebody’s name on a list but won’t actually put their money where their mouth is. The energy in the room was very much “we won’t take it anymore/ we’re finally doing something” and there was a lot of applause and excitement around discussion of ordinary gun violence, as opposed to watch lists.
Also it’s surreal to watch our esteemed lawmakers fumbling around trying to take cell phone pictures, sitting crosslegged on the floor like antsy children, taking off and adjusting their prosthetic legs, etc
I’m so jealous you got to witness part of it in person!
“I think the no-fly thing is 100% meant to shame Republicans who claim to be “tough on security” just because they put somebody’s name on a list but won’t actually put their money where their mouth is.”
Yes, yes, all of this.
Oh yeah, part of me still can’t believe that I’m allowed to just like, walk past the White House while I’m going about my daily business. I definitely don’t feel fancy enough to live near all this stuff.
Just echoing the agreement that this is meant to point out to the Republicans just how hypocritical their stance is.
Even if they had been successful in forcing a vote, the result would have been the same as in the Senate — the Republicans would still win the vote. But it forces them to be on the record, again, right after a terrible tragedy, refusing to do anything about gun violence in this country other than observe yet another moment of silence.
BBC Radio 4 just advanced the theory that the sit-in isn’t going to achieve anything specific, but that it is sending a message that if you want gun reform, vote Democrat in November. Does that ring true?
I think that that message has been loud and clear for the last ten years or so at least. But it may reinforce it.
I know that I hope and others hope that this may actually be the start of real change.
Yeah, there is a slight chance of scheduling a vote that will have zero chance of passing, but at least then the DNC, if they can get it together, can go out in every district and present that vote as a reason to make a change in representation.
Yep, I think the point here is to get this out in the open, get the votes very public, and force the Republicans to defend the fact that most of them are in the NRA’s pocket.
I think it’s a strategy not unlike when anti-choice Republicans vote on something like outlawing first-trimester abortions: obviously won’t pass, unconstitutional anyway, but they can go back to their districts and say, “Look at all these Dems voting to force you to have an abortion!”
The Democrats can now say that Repiblicans want terrorists to have guns. I’m very torn on this because it’s bullshit, it’s grandstanding, it’s immature… But the anti-abortion folks are winning, so…
It’s immature, but so is politics. And the democrats have just been so catastrophically bad at politics, so I’m all for this. It’s about time that they realized that listing the ways that you’re right won’t win anyone over.
Exactly! I hate that this is the way things work — for a long, long time I tried to be very reasonable and understanding about gun control. After seeing reasonableness be exploited by people who have no interest in solving the problem, I’m over it.
I think that even though it seems little has happened on gun control, the advocates have become a lot more strategic and organized. Maybe nothing comes of this effort, but I have hope for the first time since Sandy Hook.
Well, plus, they are outnumbered. I mean, the Democrats alone cannot vote in any gun control. So they can’t actually achieve any real legislation, but they can be loud and public and force the conversations to be had. That’s about all that is available to them right now, especially with Ryan continuing to reinforce extreme partisanship.
Yeah, there’s actually a lot to learn from the anti-abortion lobby when it comes to campaigning against guns, IMO. The gun lobby have good reason for treating ANY gun control as a step towards banning all guns, because exactly that tactic has worked very well for the anti-abortion groups.
I disagree that it’s immature. It’s political theater, but that shit can work. And the gun violence in this country is a travesty and an outrage, and it DESERVES this kind of extreme action and civil disobedience..
It’s no more immature than the first sit-in John Lewis led in the ’60s, at the lunch counter of Woolworths.
Maybe ‘immature’ isn’t the right word — just, you know, it would be nice if political change happened because we all have reasonable adult conversations in which we agreed on even the basic facts. But you’re right, political theater has a long and successful history at breaking through irrationality, and segregation is a great example.
EDIT – I mean, I’m just uncomfortably aware that I would be hating this tactic if it were in service of a cause I disagree with. In other words, I am exactly the wishy-washy reason liberals don’t get things done.
I understand wishing grandstanding and political theater weren’t necessary tactics.
I don’t think it’s hypocritical to hate these tactics used for causes you morally object to (like restricting health care access or taking welfare support away from those who need them) but support them used for causes you sincerely believe merit them, like the gun violence crisis that’s otherwise being treated like it’s unavoidable.
I think this sit-in is a far more moral action than business as usual.
That seems the mostly likely case to me, yes. I doubt any legislation will come of it, but it might help put things in motion. My concern is it won’t work and everyone will throw up their hands, say “well we tried!” and go back to what they were doing before.
Pretty much. They’re trying to shame Ryan into holding votes, but even if it worked (which it won’t), they would lose the votes. it’s theater. I’m glad they’re doing it, though.
Honestly, I think it’s partly that and partly just forcing the Republicans to either shut down the vote (which they did) or vote against what they can portray as bare minimum gun control (I don’t support tying it to the no fly list for the reasons discussed above, but I think it will read well to many). As in: dozens of people just got shot for no reason, the vast majority of Americans support some kind of gun control, and these assholes won’t let us do it.
That is why the GOP is trying so hard to prevent an actual vote, IMO.
Or if it was on something timely like an assault weapon ban! It’s a quixotic effort anyway, I’d be glad to see it be a bigger target.
There’s always been due process re the list.
But yeah, the list is weird and changes like the staircases in Gryffindor Castle. My name was on it briefly. I was detained three times – once coming back from Italy (for several hours), twice coming in from Canada. Then, suddenly, I got cleared for Global Entry. TF?
This might be a dumb question, but is there any reason these questions couldn’t be put to a referendum? It seems like the public opinion is very firmly in favour and that politicians are voting it down because of NRA influence. A public vote might be the only way anything gets done.
There’s no such thing as national referendums (referend…a?) in the US — we use the referendum process at the state and local levels (although even at that level, there are states that don’t allow it), but there would have to be a Constitutional amendment to allow it at the national level.
AHHHHH okay thanks, I never know what the deal is with American politics. That’s unfortunate.
There isn’t a referendum process, it always has to go through some type of legislature (the founders in the US were very particular about only the right kind of person having political power), and it’d lose abysmally anyway. The NRA is chump change as far as lobbying groups go; its influence doesn’t come from promising candidates money, but from promising them its huge support base of highly proactive single-issue voters.
I think it would be glorious if, like women demanding the draft during Vietnam, the Democrats’ sudden focus on the No-Fly List led to the GOP saying that well, if it would affect gun rights, we should totally ease off on the No-Fly List.
I mean, it would in no way help with the gun violence issue, but the privacy and civil rights side of things might be a bit better.
Oh man, my best friend had the Science version of that Real Journalist dilemma. During her PhD, she had to hang around outside surgical theatres waiting to see how the operations went and whether or not she’d get a tissue sample for her study. If the patient died on the table, she got the sample; if they survived, she didn’t. Necessary, but not fun!
My baby sis was geeking out to me last week about attending her first autopsy in the near future, and about halfway through the conversation I think she realized that someone would have to die for her to go and the mood became a bit more subdued.
I used to teach a human anatomy dissection lab and there was some of the same thing going on. It was a fascinating class and I’m really glad I had the opportunity to work with real cadavers, but yes, someone (many people; it was a big class) had to die for it. Fortunately, these were all people who had willingly donated their bodies to science, and most of them were clearly very old when they passed, so it wasn’t as sobering as an autopsy would be, I think.
I do a lot of ecological monitoring and it’s weirdly similar to the Real Journalist dilemma. I spend a ton of time collecting data which is useful and great but it becomes way more useful and interesting (for lack of a better term) when something goes wrong. Obviously I don’t want drinking water to be contaminated, etc, but when it is more attention gets paid to our data and more funding becomes available to continue our research program. (One solution would be to fund science, but what do I know)
I was just listening to the recent Radiolab episode http://www.radiolab.org/story/the_buried_bodies_c…. Made me realize how hard it can be to be a defense lawyer.
Hi Toasties
Found out at the polls today that I’ve mysteriously disappeared from the electoral register.
Calming gifs please?
Oh fuck noooo! I’m so sorry.
You need tea.
I was saying yesterday I was really worried this had happened to me too, because I didn’t get a voter card, but it was fine in the end.
Does anyone else see the illusion of breathing in the tea cup? Just me? Super weird.
That gif is perfect.
or maybe
both, definitely both.
update: there was a clerical error. I have now successfully voted!
Even though I know “the Casaubon of crime literature” probably refers to the Casaubon of Middlemarch and not the brilliant Swiss-Jewish philologist, I still think it’s a great title.
Yeah, kind of loving key to all murderologies also.
What about the Casaubon from Foucault’s Pendulum?
I am fervently hoping that we Remain. I’m hoping that remain having caught up in the last week (we’ve gone from 7 point lead for Brexit to ‘too close to call’) is an indication that it will actually overtake. I think it will: I think ultimately people are cautious and anyone not entirely decided will either vote remain or not vote at all. But I’m not sure. Going to start seriously thinking again about moving to Germany if we do vote leave.
Re: that Hairpin article, my experience of this will I’m sure be echoed by many people in that I was OBSESSED with Closer by Nine Inch Nails, song and video. That idea that you could actually go ahead and say ‘I wanna fuck you like an animal’, which is how I felt about all my crushes at the time, was something else.
A Ladbrooks ad popped up on my FB feed last night with 3:1 for Remain and 8:1 for Leave. So so so – hopefully.
I trust the bookies more than anyone else – and my friend who sets odds for bookies for a living confirmed that this is a correct instinct. Consistently more accurate than any polling.
I’m contemplating moving to Denmark. Pastries, bacon for those who eat it, Lego and mermaids. Win all round, surely.
don’t forget salty licorice!
…Mayyybe not the most immigrant-friendly country to immigrate to?
Oh, totally. But the UK isn’t feeling too friendly right now.
I’ve been asked five times this evening whether I’ve managed to vote, all by Remain of one stripe or another – things are v v active (I live in Jeremy Corbyn’s constituency but it’s more than just Labour out and about).
Omg, I hear you on Closer. I watched that at a crush’s house and it led to a excellent makeout session. Thanks for the reminder!
So, I got mixed feelings about this sit in, and the reason that I have mixed feelings about it is because I think that there MIGHT be a strong tactical reason to approach this issue of gun control like this — and I’m hesitant about that because, so far as I know, the Dems don’t really have any tactical geniuses in the ranks, so this might be just a coincidence, it might just be that the Dems are as in favor of a racist security state as everyone else, and that’s a bummer, but I don’t know man.
Anyway, the thing is this — there’s little value for the Democrats, or for gun control advocates in general, in alienating GOP Congressmen from Democratic voters; Dem voters don’t vote for Republicans anyway, that’s what makes them Democrats. The only possible option they have is alienating GOP Congressmen from *their own* voters. So, it’s possible that they made a cynical calculation here: that the GOP base is divided in a significant way between people who love guns more than they are racist, and people who are more racist than they love guns, and forcing a vote on an issue like this means that all those GOP Congressmen are going to have to go home and, prior to this year’s election, explain themselves.
I think Paul Ryan knows this, which is why he’s refusing the vote, instead of just letting it happen. He’s probably pretty sure he’s got the numbers to defeat it anyway, but as long as the vote doesn’t happen, no GOP Congressman has to go home and explain Why I Voted to Give Guns to Terrorists OR Why I Voted to Shred the Constitution and Destroy Your Rights, either of which would disrupt GOP support in November — something that’s already tenuous given the fact that the DJ Trump is a maniac and the GOP nominee.
I don’t think that this bill even remotely resembles meaningful gun control reform, but it’s possible that there’s a strategy here that might work, a fissure in the GOP base that’s worth trying to exploit in advance of the elections, and if that’s the case than I might kind of understand it? And possibly I even think it’s a good idea?
I will say that I have voted for my republican senator several times because I thought she was a moderate that agreed with me on most issues and had enough influence in congress to get things done. After this week she lost my vote specifically because if her reaction to these attempts. Thankfully my other senator and congresswoman are active in these debates
Have you called her and told her that? “You are losing my vote” is a big deal for them.
Of course! I contacted all of my representatives- Senators before and after the vote and my Congresswoman to thank her for signing the letter to Paul Ryan and being part of the sit in. As have my entire family, several of my friends, and all of the “Democrats for Collins” leadership- aka the people who GOT HER ELECTED because there aren’t enough Republicans in my district to make it possible to win with Republican votes alone. She doesn’t care. She thinks that because she is presenting a “compromise” that we will stand by her as being for gun control, despite the fact that we all know that it isn’t going to pass, and even if it does it is not nearly close enough to being enough.
Lol I’m jealous that you still have that card to play. I’ve told my GOP congressman that he’s lost my vote so many times now, I’m starting to think he’s not listening to me! Also I’ve never and would never vote for him anyway, and that is probably coming across in my emails too. But I did live in John Lewis’s district for a while and voted for him then, so I’m feeling pretty proud of him today.
Also, when one contacts my congressman via his website, one checks a box about which issue one is writing about. The box for guns is labeled “Second Amendment” which I find so annoying every single time. I am not writing to you about the Second Amendment! I’m writing to you about how awful guns are!
That’s infuriating.
Seriously.
The people whose only argument against any gun control is “but the Second Amendment” are increasingly sounding like five-year-olds protesting “but you SAAAAAID I COOOOOOULD!”
And it’s like: even aside from the argument about context (a well-regulated militia isn’t two guys in a Dodge Durango, to paraphrase Toby Zeigler) and the precedent (we already don’t let private citizens own suitcase nukes or B-52s, so), the Constitution is a living document. We can change it. We have changed it, which is why come this November I will be legally casting a vote and then legally having several drinks.
“legally casting a vote and then legally having several drinks.” All the applause for you!
And conversation is the beginning of the Amendment process! Everyone jumping to “if you want to overturn the 2nd Amendment, go ahead, get the votes to make that account, but until you do that, this discussion is pointless” just makes me want to scream.
Yeah, my congressman doesn’t give a rat’s patoot whether I vote for him. The liberals are so far outnumbered in this area that it really doesn’t matter.
Oh, Collins! When she was my senator I voted for her too- she always seemed willing to cross party lines and reflect the values of her constituency. What a disappointment.
I’m not saying she’s a tactical genius, but Tammy Duckworth smuggled her cell phone onto the floor last night by secreting it in her prosthetic leg, which I thought was great.
There’s a lot of kinds of tactical genius.
That actually gives me hope for the Dems. Thank you.
YES.
I love Tammy Duckworth and want her to run for president in 2024. She’s awesome and badass and who the hell are the Repubs going to run against a double-amputee war hero?
Never doubt the Republican Chickenhawks ability to tear down a legit war hero. Just ask former Senator and triple amputee Max Cleland
Also, Rep. Duckworth was born in Thailand, and even though her U.S.-born father’s family has roots back through the American Revolution, I feel Rep. Duckworth would be vulnerable to birther-type attacks from a bunch of shitasses.
But Ted Cruz!
Since she’s a woman of color, it doesn’t matter that she’s a U.S. citizen, or that she fought in the U.S. armed forces (losing her legs in the process), she’s OBVIOUSLY a suspicious character (not like that nice, almost totally white dude, Ted Cruz).
Ted Cruz was One Of Us (them). Even then he still caught *some* flack for it and as much as we like to act above such bullshit on the left, I guarantee we would have seen a lot of half-joking quickly morphing into real outrage if he was the nominee this year.
A mediocre white man with terrible ideas. The base will find him much more impressive and presidential than her. The press will very disingenuously ask if America’s ready for a disabled President (in this modern age of media, so that nobody can point to FDR).
I love her.
Which is cool, but lots of people seemed to have phones. I’m not sure why she needed to hide it in her leg? Do they have to turn their phones in at the door, to be returned at the end of class?
This is absolutely a tactical decision. Congressional sit-in was initiated by John Lewis. Look him up and be impressed as hell. The main thing I wonder is “what took you all so LONG?”
<3 John Lewis! He is fantastic and it makes me happy to see him front and center on this issue!
I think the GOP is loving this and hoping it drags out as long as possible because it’s could ensure we’re not going to have time to get a supreme court justice hearing before Obama’s departure.
Like you, I don’t have enough faith in Democrats to be cunning. We need more progressive Slytherins in office, for real.
No, I think the GOP is definitely not happy about it. There’s an advantage to not having to have to vote on bills they don’t like, but we’ve already got the most-despised congress in the last several decades, precisely because they never seem to do anything, and refusing to *vote* on an issue is always something that makes a congressman look like a doofus. Like, even if you are pro Guns Everywhere, why would you want to refuse to vote? Just vote No. That’s what your actual job is!
That’s why Ryan shut down the cameras; he doesn’t want to vote, but he doesn’t want to be SEEN not voting.
So I’m probably just projecting onto the Republicans. That’s…actually very reassuring, thank you!
It’s just so ceaselessly depressing how every single issue comes down to white guys trying to protect their phony-baloney jobs.
yeah it’s like the say, democracy would be the worst form of government, if it weren’t for all the others
And I think the tactical genius thing goes both ways. The Republicans have STILL not come up with single workable replacement for the ACA and yet whine ceaselessly about Obamacare. At least the Dems are still writing actual public policy.
The most recent Republican proposal to replace the ACA that I heard about sounded like something that insurance lobbyists had written and handed to them. I will admit I didn’t explore it very deeply but it sounded like a nice way of writing the current structure into law, which is not going to help with any of the many, many issues in our healthcare system. But until it sounds like they might have a chance of actually getting one of these proposals through I’m not going to worry much about them.
yeah it’s basically a list of the worst ideas they’ve ever had about health insurance.
I mean, insurance lobbyists basically wrote the ACA as well. The whole notion originally came out of a conservative think-tank, as an alternative to a single-payer system or expansion of government insurance plans like Medicare, etc.
There was no fiscal or philosophical reason for Republicans to be against the ACA, apart from “Obama is for it, so we have to be against it!”
Ah, yeah you’re right. And we can’t forget all the pharma lobbyists and their additions. I guess the new one I heard about basically seemed to codify the need for private insurance companies and make government very hands off about what kind of insurance people got from who which seems to be a recipe for crappy, expensive insurance.
That Republicans had no real obvious reason to be against obamacare has been an ongoing frustration. It will save most states money, particularly in the long run, and yet they continue to reject it because it looks good to their supporters.
The ACA was their replacement for healthcare reform until those big poopyhead Democrats came and stole it. I waver between the charitable interpretation that they’re lovin’ it and deliberately throwing match after match in order to (successfully!) shift all attempts at real healthcare reform towards getting the blue team to ferociously defend red team’s bill for them, and the more probable interpretation that they really don’t have any plan and just instinctively make tantrum noises about anything a Democrat does and entrenching the Heritage Foundation as the far left of the Overton window on healthcare is a lucky coincidence they haven’t even noticed.
excellent reminder! haha. idiots.
We need Claire motherfucking Underwood up in here.
If you could trust her, tho? The Underwoods are only really effective at acquiring power, they’re not good at using it.
But if we had a progressive slytherin they would never actually get elected/get power because progressives are so dead set on being perfect/setting means over ends that they’d get excoriated.
Is Claire progressive though?
I mean, haven’t we already concluded that Hillary Clinton is a Slytherin?
Riiiiight?
I think she’s too wonky to be anything but Ravenclaw.
Slytherclaw.
The GOP is in charge of the Senate and the House. Neither the filibuster nor the sit-in have had anything to do with the Senate’s refusal to hold a Supreme Court nominee hearing. They can keep on refusing to do their goddamn job even if the Democrats were as meek as they’re stereotyped for being.
Oh, right right right. Thanks for the reminder of how the system (doesn’t) work. It’s been WAY too long since 9th grade Civics class.
I just scrolled down after writing a shorter version of this in a reply above, which is to say I think you are entirely correct.
it’s what I would do, I think; the GOP’s biggest advantage for years has been the *appearance* of a united front, because of things like the Hastert Rule which mean that divisive GOP issues never actually see the floor, and GOP congressmen can evade responsibility. There’s an opportunity here to crack that facade, and it might be a risk worth taking.
There’s a delicious irony in the “Hastert Rule” being named after someone who is now in prison.
I always hear his name as “Hastur”, which is…not inappropriate, really.
you probably don’t want to say either three times, just to be on the safe side.
And it does put the Republicans in an awkward position, values-wise, because the party has shown itself pretty comfortable with valuing safety over liberty in other cases (warrantless surveillance, anyone?). So the Democrats CAN fairly say that the Republicans have this huge blind spot when it comes to guns. It might be effective on some level.
Bingo. I hope so.
Warrantless surveillance has been a bipartisan winner that both parties heavily support in practice, and love trying to pin on the other party afterwards when the voters realize wait that’s awful. There’s a reason everyone inside the Beltway was so aghast at the Snowden leaks, they weren’t afraid it’d embarassingly reveal to the voters how great and in tune with the American peoples’ interests their policies secretly are.
The no-fly proposal and sit-in, if anything, create for the first time in 15 years a genuine rift on security-state issues between the parties for the Republicans to position themselves as the civil libertarian populists battling against a totalitarian Democratic cabal out to eliminate the Bill of Rights, starting with the most vulnerable minorities and working from there. They won’t be wrong.
I think it’s probably more that the Dems know they have the moral and PR advantage on gun contorl, but they only have it for right fucking now. So it was either make a gesture that they can at least point to later or lose it. That didn’t leave much time to put together good better bills and these were just the bills they had.
I really get the sense that it’s tactical. GOP has spent so long beating the dems with the “allow terrorism” stick, now they’re on the record opposing a vote on that same issue.
I also think it’s tactical in the sense that this is the issue of the day, and focusing on it has allowed an unprecedented discussion of guns in America more broadly. Most speeches aren’t about no fly no buy, they’re about the day to day reality of gun violence (which we have, go America!).
Yes, exactly.
I’m just so psyched they’re trying anything at all on guns. I think for a long time, both Democrats and Republicans were afraid of being attacked by the NRA. Republicans stayed in their good graces by frying bacon on their assault rifles or whatever, and Democrats kept them happy by staying quiet. It seems to have become clear in the past couple of years that, even if the NRA comes after them, Democrats are unlikely to lose a single vote by fighting for gun control. I feel like they’re finally taking this knowledge and going to war, even if they expect to lose the battle.
Honestly, getting this bill to the floor and then having it voted it down is probably the best-case scenario here.
I like your analysis but think it is a little too cynical. A lot of Republicans will be taken aback by this latest development, not because of their racism or their gun-beliefs, but because the Republican position so clearly begins to defy logic here, and there is a good segment of conservatives who love logic. The idea that we can’t prevent people on the no-fly list suspected of being terrorists from buying guns (regardless of how ridic the no-fly list has been in the past) — that is illogical and the discrepancy between statements on “terrorism” and this will bother a lot of the non-crazy rank-and-file Republicans, who still exist.
Disagree that there’s any substantial portion of the population that loves logic more than they love the notion that they’re being logical, but I’ll accept that the analysis might still be too cynical.
Hi Toasties. Bummer of a day for me because my best friend from work got fired yesterday for reasons that just don’t make sense. I’ve only been at work 30 minutes and already I feel like Pam when Jim moved to Stamford. Her desk is empty and it’s just RIGHT THERE in my eyeline.
ANYWAY I’m in dire need of some happy things, so I’m turning to one of my favorite photos on the internet to bring me strength today.
OK- I have two pictures that I have immediately downloaded to my phone and forwarded to all my contacts thanks to the-toast and BOTH OF THEM INVOLVE SHAQ
this picture is delightful. Look how happy they both are!
There’s more where this came from! Shaq did a photoshoot with the Duke Lemur Center to raise awareness about, idk, lemurs, and so they paired him with the one above (which is the smallest known type of primate I think?).
So there are many more photos and even a video! https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-inst…
<3 my dreams are coming true!
That is the most amazing and adorable thing ever. I also kind of like the idea of Shaq telling one of his assistants “hey! Aren’t these things cute? Do you think you could schedule for me to go play with some?” and them being like “Sure, Mr. O’Neil, whatever you say”
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
STAHP
ahh this is my favourite.
Oof, I am sorry. Losing your work buddy is very hard. Mine was my CDC Public Health Associate and she left the program early for a job opportunity back home and I am bereft. I put my summer intern in her old office and I periodically find myself popping in there to share something with her and startling the intern.
Nooo I’m so sorry to hear that! I’m thankful that my friend will still be in the area at least, and we already have plans to meet up over the weekend. But it’s not the SAAAAAAME.
Being able to still see each other is so good! Maybe some day you all will work together gain if you both like your current field, but it is not at all the same. Someone to be your person at work is incredibly valuable.
Yes! My work buddy just doubled his salary and moved to a new city, which is close enough to visit, but stillllllll. Now I have no one to talk about grad school things with in this office wasteland.
GASP big things with tiny things? how did you know thats my favorite?
oh also as we learned on slack last night baby musk ox are a rich source of big things with tiny things
Ooooo, my partner has been lucky enough to work far enough north that he has seen baby musk ox with their herd and he says they are a _super frigging cute_ and b) well protected by their herds, such that if the adults notice another creature paying attention to their wee ones they kind of just close ranks and stare the threat down.
I love musk ox.
BABIEEEEES thank u for this, they are so cute
Yesss we have muskox at my university and it is so thrilling when the babies are born!
This also: https://twitter.com/KingOfContacts/status/7454383…
omg I love Shaq, Shaq is good, Shaq is great
HIS FACE
That is an adorable picture. Thanks!
Losing work friend really, really stinks. I hope this helps a bit:
https://twitter.com/CuteEmergency/status/74569916…
“it smelled like the hot bar of a co-op grocery store”
HEY NOW
(I work for a co-op grocery store, and our hot bar smells DELICIOUS and I bet Gwyneth wouldn’t even touch it)
Indeed. I have fond memories of the smell of the Willy St. Co-op’s hot bar.
I *wish* my co-op had a hot bar! But it’s a really tiny tiny store that doesn’t have any room to expand.
Oh, People’s Co-op. I live a block away again, and now all the cashiers have seen me moments after I wake up, on the hunt for cereal and soymilk and bread for toast.
Today in (Feminist) History! [Archive]
On this day in 1928 was the birth of Jean “Cy” Cione, a pitcher who played in the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League from 1945-1954. Jean, known for being a left-handed batter and pitcher, was born in Rockford, Illinois. She joined the boys’ softball team in third grade, and in eighth grade she played on the Rock River School Boy’s softball team, which lead her at age 14 to be the first girl ever lettered by Rock River School. She also worked at J. L. Clarke, where she played for the company’s girls softball team. When she turned 17 in 1945, she attended the tryouts in Racine, passed the test, and was offered a contract to play in the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League (AAGPBL).
She entered the league as a player for the Rockford Peaches, managed by Bill Allington. They competed in the 110-game regular season with five other teams: the Fort Wayne Daisies, the Kenosha Comets, the South Bend Blue Sox, the Grand Rapids Chicks, and the Racine Belles. Along with a number of other experienced young players on her team, Jean was mostly used as a reserve first sacker (the backup for Dorothy Kamenshek), before she eventually began to pitch and play outfield. That year, Rockford won the AAGPBL pennant with a 67-43 record. When two new teams were added in the next year, Jean was briefly shifted to the Peoria Redwings, but for the 1947 she returned to the Rockford Peaches. Over her career she would shift several times, to the Kenosha Comets (1947-1951), the Battle Creek Belles (1952), and the Muskegon Belles (1953), before finally returning to Rockford in 1954, for the years final league. In her most successful year, 1950 (for the Comets), she won 18 games and threw a pair of no-hitters in August; a 12-inning game against Grand Rapids and a 7-inning game against Rockford. She also turned in an unassisted triple play, one of only 15 in Major League Baseball history.
In between seasons, she graduated from high school and then studied at several colleges, including earning a bachelor’s degree at Eastern Michigan University, and a master’s degree at the University of Illinois. After her retirement from baseball, she taught physical education in elementary school for ten years, and then returned to Eastern Michigan University to teach sports medicine for almost 30 years. As EMU established a women’s athletic program, Jean became their first women’s athletic director. Jean went on to become a part of Women in Baseball, which is a permanent display at the Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum in New York. She was also inducted into the National Italian American Sports Hall of Fame in 2003, and the Michigan University Athletic Hall of Fame in 1986.
Of course, one of her most well-known legacies is perhaps the movie A League of Their Own which, despite the lack of real names, tells the story of Jean and other AAGPBL players like her, and caused a return in media coverage over her and her teammates, who had previously faded into obscurity.
Same, haha. Also I did NOT know that the names were changed in the movie, I knew it was based on a true story so I just assumed they were all playing real people. (I mean, they kept the team names, so it’s weird.)
We are the members of
the All-American League!
Oh, I was so into all things Celtic in the mid-to-late 90s! In fact, I was even snobbish about the fact that I listened to Enya’s siblings’ *authentic* celtic music, not Enya’s mass-market stuff. My mom thought all the celtic stuff sounded depressed, and was worried about me.
My gynecologist’s office only plays Enya in the waiting room. For years, it has been the only music I’ve heard while I’m there. It is very soothing, but I don’t know how it hasn’t driven the staff insane.
Oh, that takes me back to an even EARLIER period when I was really into Harry Connick Jr. A friend and I were doing that jr highschoolers at the fancy makeup counter thing, and the store was playing HCJ, and we commented to the makeup lady how LUCKY she was that she got to listen to him all day, and I will never forget the LOOK she gave us.
Yup yup yup–Riverdance, those generically “Irish” cd’s from the gift shoppe, all of it
There was a huge Irish shop right on Bloor, towards the University (Toronto, natch). I think that’s where I bought my first Loreena McKennit CD.
I might just go into our local Irish shop this weekend, just for the nostalgia. I still unabashedly love pseudo-Irish bars and I’m not even sorry.
Yeah, that piece gave me so much more ’90s nostalgia than a listicle of Nickelodeon cartoon GIFs and Bonne Bell products ever could.
Also, googling Enya’s siblings toute suite. I didn’t know she had any.
You’re looking for Clannad. (Had to google them myself to remember.)
OMG…Clannad! Just the name brings me back to young adulthood…sigh… good times, good times, hanging out in “Irish” pubs in ye olde early 90’s Vancouver…
We were more Celtic-punk, though; The Pogues (saw them live at The Commodore Ballroom), Spirit Of The West, etc.
OMG The Pogues –
I saw them at an Irish music festival in London and they were so drunk someone turned their mike off. (I have never, ever felt so American as I did that day in my bright blue raincoat).
I felt so, so smug when I knew that Rum, Sodomy and The Lash was a Churchill quote and my know-it-all brother did not (ha, ha – history major trumps English major).
OMG I had forgotten about Clannad, but I totally had one of their albums!! WOW. That brings me back to 10th grade HARD.
Máire Brennan 4 lyfe!!
In college one of my friends lived with a dude whose seduction method was to play Celtic music. We found this snicker-worthily basic, but whatever.
I still use the past participle “Enya-ed” to mean “laid,” at least in the privacy of my own head.
I’m not looking up Clannad on YouTube right now because I really do not need any college sex flashbacks right now.
I literally know half-a-dozen professional harp players, one of whom won the All-Ireland harp competition (the first American to do so, IIRC). And I took harp lessons for a bit.
And I’ve dabbled in social ceili dancing.
The irony is that I have zero Irish in my background that I know of–and my boyfriend’s dad is obsessed with being Irish-American. We take him to local Irish bars with live music every time he’s in town.
So yeah: I hear you on the Celtic music snobbery. If you can’t name a few of O’Carolon’s planxties don’t even bother with me, lol.
Thread for anyone who is fed up with the referendum
I am so ready for the referendum to be over. The atmosphere in this country right now is heavy and horrible and I feel like no one is listening to either side’s legitimate concerns. I don’t like the way ‘Leave’ has sensationalised the very real issues with immigration and the EU, particularly the way it has firmly rooted its campaign in xenophobia and racism, but I also don’t like the way ‘Remain’ seems keen to ignore (or patronise) the largely working class voices of those who are negatively impacted by the EU and characterise anyone and everyone thinking about leaving as doing so from ignorance and/or xenophobia.
To my mind this referendum has offered no solutions either way and has only created discord. I’m so fucking done with it.
Also ‘Brexit’ is such a stupid portmanteau.
I’m just going to post kitten gifs from now on. The world needs more kittens and fewer politicians. Alternatively: kitten politicians.
A+ idea, would vote for them.
I feel all of this so much. It’s not been good for us in any way, and I wonder how it will impact us into the future even if we remain. Bloody Farage.
Politittens
The House of Commons would be so much better if they all had to look after kittens while they debated. So much more would get done with so much less pointless shouting and haranguing! You can’t shout when there are sleeping kittens around! And you can’t mess around point-scoring when the kittens need feeding and cuddling!
Up with kittens! Kittens for all!
You are a political genius.
A kitten and a deer!!
You guys, they’re like best friends – unlike ‘Leave’ and ‘Remain’. This is what we need – kittens and owls being pals:
Owl and kitty being best friends
Together forever, the fun never ends
Solving mysteries one hug at a time
Owl and kitty, two of a kind
I had heard about Britain voting to leave the EU in several articles and thought I was being an informed American but hadn’t heard it referred to as “Brexit” until I think last week, when I was shown the Keira Knightly commercial without context and I thought it was some strange breakfast tradition you had over there.
Now I am craving a full English breakfast. Which I am always craving and probably how I ended up making the connection in the first place.
I confess, I thought Brexit was the name of a politician until the day before the John Oliver segment aired. I’m glad I didn’t actually talk to anyone about this while I held this erroneous belief.
I once listened to a Today interview with Ed Milliband, in which he responded to a question about immigration by saying, “Well, I think the thing we don’t talk about is that this is a class issue. If you’re someone who hires plumbers, it’s great that there are lots of Eastern European plumbers. If you are a plumber, it’s not so great.” It was like literally the most sensible thing I’ve heard any politician say about immigration, but it was just totally ignored because it wasn’t sexy and controversial enough.
This pretty much sums up poor Ed. He’s a nice guy, and they trampled all over him
Most of all I am DONE SO DONE with the endless and repetitive jokes about the referendum.
No really, tell me again what Brexit sounds like and slap your thigh like you’re not the 100th person to make such an observation today.
As a USian, I would like to offer you this picture from the Purritos LA instagram account:
Purritos! Now that’s the kind of initiative we could build a nation on!
RE: “stupid portmanteau”
Brexit is the sound made by eating Weetabix without milk.
The New Yorker piece reminds me of The Poisoner’s Handbook by Deborah Blum – really good book about how a chief medical examiner and toxicologist set about analyzing poison as a murder weapon in the early 1900s.
That book is awesome! And also I think PBS turned it into an American Experience or something and I watched it on Netflix last fall when I was sick. So basically best and most morbid sick day ever!
*hearteyes* I can’t wait to dig this up now.
I love the book and the documentary! Both were really good.
I was just coming down to post about that book – I’m reading it now and love it!
I also recommend The Invention of Murder, which is about the Victorians’ obsession with murder and the invention of crime as a literary genre.
The Poisoner’s Handbook is 100% the most successful father’s day gift I’ve ever given.
PERSON OF INTEREST
I can’t comment on it as a whole, because
1) I spent most of the episode confused as hell about the scenes with the old guy in a hospital bed, the kid at the funeral, and the cops. I didn’t know who these people were or why we were seeing them, so I missed some stuff.
2) I started crying a bit when John was dying, which turned into sobs when The Machine died, and after that I was too emotionally drained to feel much of anything.
I’m so glad for that interview where the writers were like, Root is the one with a redemption arc. Shaw had no arc, because she didn’t need to be redeemed. She didn’t need to learn anything. She’s perfect as she is. (I’m trying to find a link but I think the website’s blocked at my job.)
Those scenes were things that the Machine had learned from.
The funeral was John’s dad’s funeral–they were talking about the dad being a hero firefighter who saved people; the Machine saw that as a turning point for John, I think. It was also echoing John’s arc–he sacrificed himself to save Finch and all the people who would be harmed if Samaritan survived.
Reese’s death was done well and as fitting as possible–someone on the AV Club mentioned that it was especially fitting since he was supposed to be taken out by a missile in China on his last CIA mission–but it still broke me.
I thought that was a young John, but wasn’t sure because how would the Machine know about that?
It said in an earlier episode that in order to understand people it had to know them completely and so it knew everyone’s history. I think they played fast and loose with the video, though; it can only SEE what has been filmed, so it could not have direct knowledge of that funeral unless someone was there with a video camera, which is not plausible.
My husband and I spent half the final episode saying what about the dog? Who’s got the dog? Did they leave it when they blew up the tunnel? So we were very happy to see the dog at the end.
what about the dog? Who’s got the dog?
This is me basically every episode.
I believe it was. I handwave her knowing because the moment was so poignant.
I think the Machine knows the details but isn’t literally seeing footage of John’s father’s funeral. A visualization of the data she has.
I watched the final episode last night. I thought they wrapped it up pretty well. Though it did seem like they left an invitation out there for another network to snatch it up.
Nooooo, they can’t have another season without John. No. Just let Finch and Grace live in Italy in peace.
My wife and I thought about the theory, then agreed the show probably would not work, nor have enough draw, without Root or Jim Caviezel.
In my wildest dreams I am hoping for Root to not be dead and for a Root and Shaw spinoff.
I think it’s for sure a real ending – bringing the show back would just drag it out, I think.
I cried a lot! (I cry at everything). I wish they’d has 22 episodes because I think everything felt rushed but still. So glad shaw made it!
I loved it. This wasn’t a perfect season, but the showrunners had to deal with a very shortened episode order AND the network forcing the numbers on them (instead of fully serializing the AI war like they wanted to). I think overall they did a good job, and nailed the finale. I started crying during the last fifteen minutes and just kept going, but they were good tears.
Reese’s death was perfect. It was the end he deserved. The little smile when he sees Harold leaving the roof!
“She wanted to tell you that if you were a shape, you’d be a straight line. An arrow.”
And Shaw being the inheritor of the mission, the one to ultimately carry the torch – so, so good. The face of the future is a bisexual woman of color, not the white guys they started with. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a show do that before.
I basically spent the entire episode in tears. I’d been figuring that John wasn’t going to make it out of the season alive – I figured Shaw would and probably Fusco, but it was a toss-up for everyone else – but it still really hurt when he sacrificed himself anyway.
But it was the good kind of pain at least. This show, god. It sure wasn’t perfect, but I’m gonna miss it.
Also, I’ve been imagining Grace’s reaction to Finch’s resurrection. Sure, she’s really forgiving, but how forgiving??
I keep thinking about when John may have made that agreement with The Machine. He’s never had much of a relationship with her, you know? At what point did he realize The Machine was sentient enough to make this kind of deal with? How did he go about it? I’m imagining him sitting in the park one day, in view of a security camera, staring off into the distance and vaguely monologuing about how Finch saved his life, how grateful he is to have a purpose, how he doesn’t have anything to live for outside of Team Machine, and if it ever came down to a choice between him and Finch, he’d want Finch to survive. Then he looks up to the camera and says, “Agreed?” The light on the camera winks once. That’s it.
Thank you. This is now my head canon.
I am currently arguing with the UPS store over pricing on tote shipping, if we reach an understanding, the storefront will go up tomorrow! They were telling Marco like $14 a tote and we were like HA HA HA HA HA.
These are not Precious Moments figurines! STICK ‘EM IN AN UNPADDED ENVELOPE.
$14? Do they think they’re Chihuly sculptures?
Did they think you were trying to send them all to Canada maybe? Did you mention international shipping and they just got that stuck in their head?
I send fabric and tshirts priority mail for about 5.95-$10, so UPS is smoking something. If it is under 13oz it can go 1st class mail which even cheaper
TOMORROW TOMORROW I LOVE YA, TOMORROW!!!
Oh, the sun’ll come up in the mornin’, or so I’m told…
But who knows?
You could win a million bucks in the mornin’ and then get rolled
By a mob of stinkin’ hobos…
Will the link be posted in the Link Roundup or will it be in a separate post? I can’t wait! 😀
Nicole! Please consider flat rate boxes from the USPS! Small boxes are around $6 and those of us in America’s hinterlands (AK and HI) would be able to afford shipping.
Even better deal, priority envelopes. It’s a tote bag, which can be folded to fit. The labels on the priority include tracking. I have sent many books this way (always including protective wrapping).
Sending them by post would also be better for those of us in Canada, or at least this Canadian would prefer it. It’s often cheaper, and I’m pretty sure the post office is closer than the UPS depot if I end up having to go pick up a package.
Yeah things coming via USPS are less likely to be pulled in for duty, and don’t come with brokerage fees! There was an interesting story on the CBC this morning about cross border shopping, if that’s your jam.
We got it worked out with the UPS store for $5 for domestic! (Actually $4, but I am buying the envelopes separately in bulk.)
There will be a Totes post in the morning with the purchasing link!
Normal link roundup time or a separate time?
Do you have a time? Because I am going to be stuck in the mouse house (yes really) from like 7:30-9:30AM CST and I NEED A TOTE.
Link roundup normal time
Is there any possibility of doing it a few hours later? Link Roundup normal time is really early for those of us on the West Coast! I don’t even usually get a chance to peek at The Toast until about 2.5 hours after that, and I would be quite heartbroken if I didn’t know the tote sale was finally happening and discovered that all the totes were ordered up by then. If it’s not possible to do it later, I totally get it and I will just have to set my alarm for 6am and groggily order a tote. But I just wanted to speak up on behalf of the West Coast Toasts (West Toasts?) since many of us would normally still be asleep at that time!
That would put the Aussie Toasties in a rough spot in turn, I fear (they have to stay up late if they want to order a tote anyway), and we cannot find a universal time to suit everyone, so I think you will just have to get up early!
Totally understandable! You guys are very thorough and thoughtful and I hoped you had well-considered reasons for choosing that time, and indeed you do!
Thank YOU for being understanding. Also, email me.
Tota-ally understandable. (sorry, couldn’t resist)
normal link roundup time iiiiiiiiiiiissssssssss… 6 a.m. Arizona time? am i doing that right???
*goes to set RockClock*
Setting your Rock Clock to order your Toast Tote is pretty quintessentially The Toast.
i intend to put my copy of “Texts From Jane Eyre” in it in order to achiever Peak Toast.
I want the Take to the Sea tote so badly it is a physical ache. I’m going to get up EARLY tomorrow and refresh the-toast.net obsessively.
Me too, I can’t breath. I’ll even pay $14 for shipping and I hate paying for shipping!
UGH SHIPPING
it is so outrageously and ridiculously expensive
so excited for totes!
Just in time for the value of the pound to have dropped hugely! Is there nothing this referendum cannot ruin?
That Sarah McLaughlin article:
Thought 1: It me.
Thought 2: Ooooofff, this is a pretty good explanation of why I was a hot mess in my early 20s.
I feel like the mid-late 90s was not a good time to become sexually aware but without the reality check of actually being sexually active. Like there was a lot of gauzy sex on candle-lit altars set to ethereal new-age music running around in film and music.
Back when I was 20, my intermittent (then-not) boyfriend came over to my dorm room to study (i.e., to do Flirtation Of Plausible Deniability).
I had The Freedom Sessions playing on repeat. At some point I realized he was looking at me steadily, instead of at his homework, so I also stopped reading and started playing with his very pretty hair, as one does when Sarah McLachlan is playing. Thus began Round Two of Dating.
This is really OT, but I would like time-sensitive advice. My supervisor, who I am crazy about and work very closely with, is leaving for an excellent job opportunity elsewhere. Her last day in the office is tomorrow. I would like to get her something to celebrate her time here/ her new job/ demonstrate my support and love for her. It would make me uncomfortable to give her money or money equivalent. Her new job will primarily be working from home though she will have a three hour round trip commute once or twice a month.
My ideas so far:
Something for her drive? She’s not big on music and doesn’t read much for pleasure from what I can tell so I don’t think iTunes or an Audible membership is the way to go.
Maybe a pack of the Sofia Coppola cans of champagne with a note about having a little celebration as she makes strides at her new job? She and I do a lot of cheerleading/small celebrating for each other now. I work in the Bible belt in a taxpayer-funded agency, maybe this is something I could give her and tell her not to open until she’s out the door?
Something to make working at home more enjoyable? I’m not sure what that would be.
We are having a team lunch tomorrow and then a small reception for anyone who wants to stop by and wish her well. I also have a nice card with a tear-y but happy note for her and I know these are the things that will matter the most, but I am my mother’s child and generally a product of the south – I cannot let her go without a symbolic gift of some sort in hand.
For my boss (when we celebrate her birthday, or boss’s day, etc), we usually do something like a card and flowers, or a card and then a trip to get Froyo up the street, or someone brings in baked goods (or donuts/muffins/etc). Food is always a good bet! A little happy moment for her, you know? If you would rather something she could take with her, maybe a little gift basket type thing?
(If it helps, I work in a state agency too and all the stuff we do seems to be acceptable.)
I think the champagne idea is brilliant, but I support anything that involves being not-sober, so…
I like the little champagne ideas! Very cute and it seems like it fits in well with your relationship.
I like the champagne idea. Also, since you say she’ll mostly be working from home, how about a lumbar pillow, or a timer that will remind her to get up and stretch? Those help me tremendously.
I think the champagne idea is awesome!
At my first corporate job, the VP who had hired me was an amazing woman/mentor figure and left about a year after I was hired. She’d always seemed charmed the little Bilbo Baggins Funko Pop figure I had at my desk so when she was leaving I bought one for her and wrote a quick note about how much I appreciated her and how I hoped her new job would be a grand adventure. She seemed sincerely touched when she saw the gift.
So I think champagne and note of similar sentiment make a great parting gift.
Does she like mimosas? You could put the champagne cans in a little basket with some small bottles of orange juice- someone did that at my office once, and it was adorable.
Nice tea or coffee might be nice, if you know which she likes.
I am failing to get the link to embed properly, but I read Ella Risbridger’s piece at The Pool about Brexit and of course cried. Highly recommend.
https://www.the-pool.com/life/life-honestly/2016/…
That is excellent! I didn’t know the EU won the Nobel Peace Prize.
Gina Rodriguez tweeted yesterday that she doesn’t identify as straight because she’s attracted to hearts not genders. In related news Gina Rodriguez and I are one step closer to being madly in love.
I read too quickly and thought this was Gina Torres and I was about to get very, very excited. Still awesome, but now my dreams of being Mrs. Torres have been crushed a little.
I know I’m not going to be Mrs. Torres because, for all my clever tricks, there’s no way I could take Laurence Fishburne in a fight.
I misread that as being crushed by Gina Torres and I thought, “yeah I can see wanting that.”
I am so happy for you guys! I’ve decided your ship name can be Koina Keffriguez.
I KNEW IT
I KNEW SHE WANTED ME
that’s what this means right
Obviously. So happy for you two.
But of course when Rafael is standing in front of you all you can be attracted to is Rafael.
I’ve mentioned before when I see an abbreviation with “F” as one of the letters, my first inclination is to assume the f stands for “fuck”. I had never heard of the children’s book, BFG, so when I heard there was a movie with that title I was a little taken aback by it being a kid’s movie.
My wife explained what it stood for and while it made more sense, now it just bugs me that “big” and “giant” are both in the title.
My favorite soccer team Arsenal has a 6’6″ German player that has been nicknamed the BFG. What “BFG” stands for…well, that depends on the age of the person asking.
I think of it as “Big Fucking Giant” all the time. To the point that I forget that it is supposed to be “Friendly.” Because my family is full of foul-mouths I thought this when I was a kid, too.
it makes the repetition make sense, too! that is one big f******* giant
My mom used to be an elementary art teacher and one break when I was home from college she was complaining that instead of signing their artwork the 6th graders were writing “My BFF is (other student).” My dad looks up from his paper and goes “what does BFF stand for? Big Fucking Freak?”
So I have a similar issue with the BFG/
Your dad sounds kind of amazing.
When Walter the Farting Dog came out, a parent put it on the school library’s wish list. This list was not accessible to the kids, but it seems she felt writing out “Farting” was untoward or something. So she wrote “Walter the F’ing Dog. “
Ha ha! Bad Edits Hall of Fame.
Right up there with John McLain saying, “Yippee ki yi yay, Mister Falcon.”
“Fun you, muddy funster!
I didn’t fun your wife, she just sucked my duck!”
Viewers might like to know that this film has been specially ruined for television.
“Oh, gee! Oh shoot!”
My sister and I will still sometimes say this to each other.
I feel like I loved that movie even more with the hilarious censorship.
Wait. Those can’t be real?
No, it’s from Harry Enfield’s sketch ‘Badfellas’ sending up the terrible swear-word dubbing that they used to make the tv channels do. It’s on youtube, still great stuff.
Or Samuel L. Jackson: “I have had it with these monkey-fighting snakes on this Monday-to-Friday plane!”
Perhaps my favorite basic cable edit of all time is the complete removal of the Gimp from Pulp Fiction. Just not in it. Never happened.
Another that I love – from the Big Lebowski – “You see what happens, Larry?! You see what happens?! This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps!”
LOL. I saw that! On USA, I think. You might want to consider just trimming the scene down at that point.
Shaun of the Dead is also good. “Funk yeah!” “Prink.”
My favorite was the pie-eating contest scene in “Stand By Me”, which features a character nicknamed “Lard Ass”.
The TV station bleeped the word “ass” every time, so the crowd watching the contest was just chanting: “LARD! [long silence] LARD! [long silence]” again and again.
“big” and “giant” both being in the acronym has bothered me SO MUCH ever since I read the book when I was a kid. It’s even WORSE in context, because, like, the only reason to have both is if he is big for a giant but he isn’t he’s the smallest one! It’s a major plot point! God, it enrages me to this day.
The Doom games have a BFG (big fucking gun) so that’s what I always think of when I see that title.
saaaaame
Having grown up in a family of gamers: same.
My dad played Doom when I was a kid. I read Roald Dahl. We have very different definitions of the acronym.
We Americans have our own version of Leave vs. Remain, only it’s with Donald Trump and it’s the not the EU but the rest of humanity.
Are we voting for him to leave?
Fantastic idea. Someone should change ballot to say “Vote for one candidate to leave the country” without telling Trump. Could you imagine how happy he’d be when he saw himself pulling ahead in the exit polls? Then some security-looking dudes could welcome him aboard “Air Force One” which would head directly for Antarctica.
Ahhhh, one can dream.
I’m laughing so I don’t cry.
The saga ends, more or less: I do not have a new job. They need someone with a lot of experience in an area in which I have no experience, so there’s really no helping it. HOWEVER they really really liked me, and are going to try to find a place for me in the next six months or so! So, that’s something anyway. Now I just have to decide whether to sit here and wait around for something that may or may not materialize, but would be better in many measurable ways than most other positions I can hope for in this city (work/life balance, benefits, etc.) or use my momentum to get the hell out of this job by any means necessary. How terrible would it be to go work a moderately crappy job for six months to a year while waiting to hear from a pretty darn good job? (I have a friend whose office is hiring; the work is not great and they don’t even get sick time, but at least no one yells there.)
I’m sorry it didn’t work out, but glad that they liked you and want to continue the relationship somehow!
I’ve been waiting to hear for over three weeks now about whether or not I’ve been offered a job I had a second interview for. They said they’d been in touch after a week so I’m not feeling hopeful! I’ve sent two follow up emails in the hope of at least getting a clear rejection but had nothing in return.
So commiserations, and here’s hoping something works out and you end up somewhere with sick leave and no yelling <3
I hope you hear soon! Waiting is the worst, especially when it’s after they said they’d get back to you.
So sorry. It sucks very much every time you don’t get the job. All the commiseration and toast hugs.
If you can make a change, try it! Jobs are not forever. Get out of the toxic place if you can. I’ve been there. 😕
thanks for the hugs!
Go to non-yelly, but boring place. Trust me.
No yelling! (Says one who knows.)
non-yelling place also has longer hours, worse commute, and no sick time… makes the equation harder to balance…
Oh no! I’m devastated for you. That was a roller coaster that ended in a bummer. I’m so sorry.
I can’t really say which would be your better option – putting up with the toxic environment or losing benefits and having less than satisfying work. Are you still looking for other jobs, too? because “try to find a place in the next six months or so” is sooo vague and basically not concrete enough to count on it. How much longer can you live with what you have while searching, to build up extra savings? Can you plan to take a job at your friend’s office after 1 month (if possible) and use up vacation time until then?
It’s such a difficult choice, and it’s partly why I’ve stayed with my job so long. The pay is middling and sometimes the personnel issues/demands on me have been unbearable, but the benefits and basic job enjoyment were so high that nothing could compare.
yeah, I know I can’t really count on this particular job happening in six months. I’ve been at this job for twelve years, and on the one hand, I cannot take another second, but on the other hand, eh, how much worse can it get? Mr. LF did give me permission to quit without another job lined up, so that gives me the joy of imagining responding authentically next time I am yelled at. Perhpas I’ll get fired and draw unemployment! I haven’t really looked at any other jobs, but I have a product rep scouting for me (she goes to all the offices, so gets the inside scoop on these things). There aren’t a lot of openings for my level of experience, in this city. And it’s a small community, so I can’t just blanket the town with resumes without my current (jealous, vindictive) boss finding out and punishing me for it.
Is the area of experience something you might be able to take a course in or gain experience using your own independent project in your free time? There are obviously many negatives to paying for classes or working without pay, but if it is possible, it could give you something positive to think about during the yelling or help you to feel like you have a little more control over the situation.
Don’t wait for a maybe; go out and try to get something better now. With any luck, in six months they really will come calling but you’ll have landed in a so much better place that you won’t be interested anymore.
OT: Today is a day full of complicated significance for me (wedding anniversary, but also would have been the due date of the baby I lost in the winter.) So, lots of feels, and I kind of want to yell at all the people who didn’t know about the miscarriage congratulating me on FB. Which is irrational in the extreme.
At least I can have cocktails tonight?
(((( hugs for you ))))
many hugs! I hated the due date of my miscarried baby (my birthday! so fun.) I did manage to get a baby after that, and it doesn’t bother me anymore. I hope you can find some peace.
Sorry for your loss. There’s nothing wrong with feeling a little irrational, what you’re going through is hard, but here is a hug to help you through all the hard feels and I hope when you have your cocktails tonight there are a few happier ones:
🍷🍹🍻 I’m so sorry. Milestones like this are wretched. Toast hugs if you want them.
It may be irrational, but it is completely understandable. *hug*
I don’t particularly like the whole trend of congratulating people about stuff on FB–it seems like a minefield to me. The subject of congratulations isn’t always comfortable with the attention, and people feel compelled to say something even if they haven’t talked to said person in 5 years, and it makes people compare themselves to each other, etc. I find a lot of social media interaction baffling, honestly.
Hugs and all the cocktails for you! A day to be nice to yourself.
Your marriage, your relationship and love for each other, is a strength in your lives. It holds you together in the bad times as well as bringing you joy throughout. Today is a salted wound, but I wish for you that the balm of your marriage helps it heal in time.
You made me cry at work, dammit.
(thank you.)
((hugs))
<3<3<3<3 you’re allowed to feel however you want about it. Sending you all the hugs!
*hugs*
Cocktails!! I am so sorry for your loss… I can’t imagine that kind of pain.
And I have a question for you about miscarriage tact… So stop reading if you don’t want to deal with it today!
Okay. So. I have a good friend from high school that I keep in touch with through Facebook. We were very close, but through physical distance and the intervening years we have drifted apart. Some time ago, she posted RE National Miscarriage Day that she had lost a child. I was shocked – I didn’t know that she was pregnant, and I had just had a baby and was very sad for her. I didn’t know what to say, though, as I’m an atheist and she’s not religious and I think all the “it’s X’s plan” and those types of platitudes are ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT so I didn’t say anything for a couple of weeks. But she was continuously in my thoughts until one day in class we were talking about the laws of thermodynamics. That made me think of her and her baby, so I sent her a message apologizing for not saying something sooner and that the only thing I could think of was that matter and energy cannot be created or destroyed, so her baby has always been with her and always will be, that I love her, I’m here for her, etc. She wrote back a very kind letter saying she really appreciated the sentiment and that it had been a comfort to her; especially because I had written to her on what was her daughter’s due date. She further told me that she had planned to name the baby my high school nickname (I’m assuming because she liked the name, not after me, we’re not that close!) and that she really enjoyed seeing all the pictures of my daughter.
So here’s my question – that date is coming around again. I want to reach out again and say that I still think of her and her daughter and that I hope she’s finding comfort and peace on what has to be a really difficult day. Is this butting in where I don’t belong? I have read about others who have dealt with miscarriage and stillbirth, and they feel like their children have been forgotten by everyone else. I don’t want my friend to feel like that, but I also don’t want to intrude on a private grief since we are not that close.
I’m sorry if this is terribly rude. No one else I know has spoken publicly about personal miscarriage or stillbirth, so I don’t know where else to turn for guidance.
It’s not rude. I think just a message saying what you said here would be lovely: that you’re thinking of her and her daughter and hope she can find peace on a difficult day. I promise you she hasn’t forgotten the date, so you won’t be reminding her of it.
I agree with bread_and_roses. Go for it. Also the sentiment about matter is lovely and made me feel better too. So I’m glad selfishly that you shared that.
Many, many hugs.
If you aren’t able to uncouple these days, maybe you can shift your anniversary to six months from now and celebrate X and a half years. Because it would be terribly sad if you couldn’t wholeheartedly celebrate your love.
More hugs.
Hugs and delicious cocktails for you.
Can you delegate your FB? Like, stay off it for the day and then tomorrow have a friend go in and clear the notifications and make a “thanks, everyone!” post, and then it’s all just less in your face?
I don’t think I need to do that, but if that changes, I will.
Cocktails and hugs.
I think some irrational feelings are normal in these siutations. It sounds almost cliche but it really helped when i was told and/or read “grief is not a straight line”. And I think it’s okay to have days that are extra hard and make you feel like you’re taking steps back in recovering (even if you really, really aren’t).
So I hope today goes as okay as it can for you. I hope you have a wonderful anniversary where you guys can talk about the best and maybe not-so best times. Enjoy those cocktails.
So many hugs to you, if welcome. I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope you and your spouse bring each other consolation and comfort and a feeling of a safe home to feel all the grief and joy and everything in between.
After I miscarried a friend of mine who’d also been through this told me that I’d feel sometimes everything and sometimes nothing, but either way I was allowed to feel whatever I wanted. This has been helpful at times when I’ve felt I needed that permission; like it’s been long enough that it seems like I shouldn’t be sad anymore but I still am, or when I’ve been happy and it feels like I shouldn’t be in the face of everything.
So, in case your brain is like mine and needs someone to say this is okay: it is absolutely okay to feel all the feels you need to, whether you are happy or sad or both at the same time, and don’t worry about being irrational or whatever. And enjoy those cocktails 🙂
I’ve been there. It sucks. I’m so sorry, but you’re not alone. <3
Sending gentle hugs, and ample virtual cocktail mixers.
bread_and_roses, I just wanted to come back to say I’ve been thinking about you all day. I hope things have gone ok, and that you have prioritized your emotional well being. Nothing else really mattered in the scheme of things today. You are The-Toast Embraced!
Thank you. That is really sweet, and I appreciate it.
Yesterday was better than I expected.
A) oh my god brexit is terrifying
B) if you only watch one thing from the sit in watch Debbie Dingell being INCREDIBLE on guns and DV. https://twitter.com/igorvolsky/status/74583768994…
“I lived in a house with a man that should not have had a gun. I know what it’s like to see a gun pointed at you and wonder if you are going to live. And I know what it’s like to hide in a closet and pray to god, ‘Do not let anything happen to me.’ And we don’t talk about it, we don’t want to say that it happens in all kinds of households, and we still live in a society where we will let a convicted villain who was stalking somebody of domestic abuse, still own a gun.”
I’ve not yet had the pleasure of meeting Debbie Dingell, but the main resounding point I’ve heard about her from my colleagues who have is that she does not fuck around, she does not hedge, at least one-on-one. If you ask her about an issue, you’re going to hear her honest answer, whether or not its what you want to hear or what the party wants her to say.
This referendum has at least caused me to learn that US ballot papers are too effing complicated http://www.vox.com/2016/6/23/11979522/brexit-ball…
Saw that headline on Twitter and I was like ‘Errrr… what else would you put on a ballot paper?’ So naive.
I can’t remember the wording, but the Irish Same-Sex Marriage referendum had a wording issue – the English was very clear, but the translation into Irish technically outlawed heterosexual marriage. I’m not sure at what point they clarified this (I think all laws have to be in both English and Irish).
To be honest, as a US citizen I would be suspicious if my ballot looked that simple. Like it’s so simple that it doesn’t seem like it could be real! Little pieces of paper that are clearly written and easy to use are how we vote for, idk, cake preference at the end of the year staff picnic, not how we vote on ~serious~ political issues!
(I mean, I am the last to say that cake is not a serious issue. But I am also dreading trying to figure out a) what the ballot propositions this November actually say and b) what the relationship is of the question I’m asked to say yes/no on and the content of the proposition)
The thing about that article is it praises the Scottish referendum ballot as being ‘even simpler’ when actually I think there was a bit of a ruckus about that because the wording ‘Should Scotland be an independent country?’ was seen as leading (as in, leading towards Yes and the breakup of the union). So in that case, there was something suspicious about the simplicity.
Oh my god. That looks so pleasant compared to bringing in my cheat sheets where I word problem out how I want to vote: “I think snuggly kittens should be given access to adorable sweaters, so I think I want to vote no on the snuggly kitten issue? Maybe? Fuck.”
Right? When you have to have a summary of “a yes vote means…” and “a no vote means…” GOOD GRIEF.
I understand the argument for making it really clear which option is which, but from my US POV that does seem like too little information. What are the actual legal consequences of the choice the voter is being asked to make? I’m not totally clear on that, with the Brexit vote, but it’s something along the lines of “Should the UK invoke Article 50 of the Treaty of Lisbon to initiate negotiations to leave the EU within two years?” Now obviously that’s more complicated sounding, but it’s also more specific about what’s being voted on. To me the referendum ballot sounds like a poll question, not a legally binding constituent element of a democratic governance process.
The assumption is that you’ve had the information before you go to vote. We only vote in council elections, general elections and referendums, unlike the US examples to do with state laws and so on, so you can generally assumed that if someone’s going to vote, they’re informed on some level.
Hm, it sounds like this is an “advisory” referendum, so there aren’t actually any legally binding consequences of the type I’m talking about? Like it actually is closer to an opinion poll than a vote on a specific action to be taken.
Yeah that’s quietly been ignored by all sides but is very relevant – I only found out about this a couple of days ago, most people are under the impression that it *is* legally binding.
I suspect that even if the country votes leave, Cameron et al will find a way of not honouring that, even though they’ve said they will. A few years ago here in Manchester we had a referendum on whether to have an elected mayor – the result was a resounding no, but they’ve pushed the mayor on us anyway.
I mean, it’s NOT legally binding, and it IS a poll question, so that answers that one.
That Uber/Lyft ballot in the article is confusing as hell. Does “For the ordinance” mean you’re for the proposition repealing that City Ordinance, or for keeping the existing Ordinance?
You were voting for what Uber and lyft wanted if you voted the way the 10 pieces of mail you recieved daily told you to vote, and against what they wanted if you voted the way the single weekly piece of political mail told you to vote. I still can’t remember which was actually which.
US voting procedures always sound so complicated, especially as they sometimes have machines while we just have ballot papers and a pencil on a string.
Our ballots might be more complicated than yours, though. Last time I voted (in April) I had to vote for super delegates to attend the Democratic National Convention. There was a list of, like, 25 people, and I had to pick fourteen of them, along with all the other things I had to vote for. The electronic machine did my counting for me (so I definitely picked exactly fourteen people, no more or less), and it made it easier for me to deselect people once I realized that I’d misread the instructions (turns out it had to be exactly seven men and seven women).
Which might be an argument for simplifying our electoral process, but while the trash fire remains I think electronic is the way to go.
In Canada we don’t even put the pencils on strings!
The last municipal election I voted in did have scantron ballots, but the ballot itself was still paper and was quite clear and seemed like it could be hand-counted easily if the need arose.
Canadians are so trustworthy that you don’t have to worry about them stealing pencils.
I don’t think the procedures are necessarily complicated for any particular voter–personally I get a paper ballot and fill in bubbles with a marker, and it’s very simple. But there are different procedures in different constituencies, so if you try to learn about how Americans vote in general, that’s a super complicated set of information.
Well maybe this is what you mean by naive, but I’ve always thought complex ballot questions were just the next generation of voter literacy tests. I mean, there may be a lazy bureaucrat somewhat who won’t write it in plain English, but there are plenty of people who have to approve that decision before the ballot is printed.
The process of drafting ballot language can be very politicized, and there are lots and lots of people pushing to work in extra wording or different vocabulary that they think might sway the vote. Think of all the euphemistic or loaded language we have in US politics– “pro-life,” “right to work,” “religious freedom”– and then imagine a bunch of interest groups and lawyers all trying to agree on how you describe those issues when they go to ballot.
Mallory/Prudence! I am copying down some sentences from today’s column in my journal because I need to read them over and over and let them seep into my soul. Thank you!
BUT
What if the dog bowl in the gross MIL situation was THIS dog bowl? http://pagesix.com/2016/06/22/dog-bowl-goes-for-1…
(I’m sure you are referring to some of the other situations/answers, which were indeed wonderful balm for the soul.)
EVEN IF – you better wash that thing. I wash my dog’s water bowl with soap BEFORE I REFILL IT WITH FRESH WATER FOR HER.
And yes, it was something else I needed to read and re-read. 😉
…. I thought I was the only one!
Ok, the important thing about that story is this article in the sidebar:
http://pagesix.com/2016/06/23/channing-tatum-slam…
Is it just me, or does the Holocaust denier friend from today’s column sound like he’s taken up with the Nation of Islam? The citation of Bible verses doesn’t match, but everything else he’s saying does.
First of all, how dare you, Eater, imply that Martha Stewart is not a domestic goddess. Have you ever tried her recipes? They are some Biblical-trial shit, where you suffer for 8 hours, shaking your fist at the sky, and at the end you’re rewarded with the best ______ you’ve ever eaten. Second, even though I do not identify with the term “domestic goddess” in any sense, I get the aspiration there. The gendered-ness of the term is gross, but I think if you like food, regardless of your gender or domesticity or divinity, you can get the appeal of having enough time and money to develop your own recipes and show them off. (Although, if your style is more “pragmatic kitchen witch” than “aspirational domestic goddess,” I, uh, have a Toastie-fueled tinyletter for that /shamelessselfpromotion)
One Valentine’s Day (and the day before) I made Martha’s cheesecake with homemade cookie crust (plus a steak dinner). My boyfriend was upset because I didn’t write a long thoughtful card. I CERTAINLY was shaking my first at the sky then! This infuriated me for years (even post-breakup) but now I think it’s a useful example of why it’s so important to know your love languages.
Whaaaaat? Who writes a lengthy card on Valentine’s Day? Anyone who can’t appreciate the thought that goes into making a steak dinner and Martha Stewart cheesecake (let alone appreciating the food!) is inhuman, I think.
The emotional depths reached when baking from a Martha Stewart recipe are deeper than any accessed by “writing a card.” (Seriously, yes, you make an extremely valid point about love languages.)
Yup.
I’m in that annoying place where I aspire to a lot of the very particular trappings of domestic goddess-ness but am entirely the wrong gender/shape/temperament.
gender/shape is totally negotiable but Temperment is my sticking point too. Ina Garten is about as anti-GOOP as you can be while still being a lady who is known for writing cookbooks and throwing parties. But she’s so extraordinarily chill. I am not that chill.
Well it’s like I’ve got the perpetually JBF hair up in a messy bun thing down pat.
But say licking batter off a spoon? That’s never going to come of as playful and def not flirty, mostly it comes off as “too lazy to rinse and/or too avaricious to wait”.
When I half ass a recipe because I don’t have some ingredients it’s less “spontaneous joyful improvisation” more “poverty taught me how to do without… and I’m too lazy to go to the store”
Being able to do the messy bun thing is a treasured skill for which many people would give up their ability to lick a spoon flirtatiously. Hand to GOOP.
I half-ass recipes out of a false belief in my own culinary brilliance. Although technically my immersion-blender eggless, gelatin-less chocolate mousse turned out a-fucking-mazing after it sat in the fridge for two days. I have got to get that recipe perfected for the sake of the whole world.
I happily take on the domestic goddessness, but I think it’s because both of my parents are chefs and take *deep sincere care and pride* in hospitality. In many ways, it’s not gendered for me personally because I grew up with it as mom & dad. So things like really nice linens, making guests feel pampered, artfully arranged platters, anticipating every want a moment before it arises, comfort, warmth, and also being super impressive while very laid back about it, is an Ethic I was raised with. And when that side of things aligns with my love of silk dressing gowns and leather bound books, well, sign me up. One of the best compliments I ever received was from two friends who run really upscale grocery stores made the off-handed comment that I would run the absolute greatest B&B.
that being said, I’m way more Team Nigella over Martha.
I really want to sleep over at your house now.
Seconded, that sounds heavenly.
I have a good friend who genuinely enjoys hosting, but she’s of the “I have a lot of cheap wine, come over with your own drinks if you want and food and I can turn on the grill,” kind of hosting. I think she’s just an extrovert who doesn’t want to bother leaving the house, to be honest, but it works out–we all love going over to her place.
When I hosted Thanksgiving for the first time, I used a Martha Stewart recipe for the turkey and it was simple and DELICIOUS. I was very pleased. I now know better than to expect simple for any of her other recipes. 🙂
When I still ate meat, my Thanksgiving go-to was her rolled turkey breast. That thing is phenomenal (the stuffing makes it), and after doing it two or three years in a row, it doesn’t even seem that difficult 😉
Oh man you’re behind the spaghetti dinner tinyletter? I have no idea how and where I signed up for it but I’ve been loving it in my inbox. I was inspired to make a spinach pesto from something I read a few weeks back. I look forward to continuing to expand my kitchen skills and I have you and your contributors to thank!
That’s so amazing to hear, thank you!! :))
“Pragmatic kitchen witch” just fills my heart with warmth and comfort. Those are some A++ magical words.
Is anyone worried about losing a friend over this referendum? I am convinced that my childhood best friend and I are about to friend-divorce (and it really would feel like that) over this whole stupid poisonous thing and I would like some people to commiserate with.
I lost someone I once considered a best friend over the U.S. primary, so not exactly the same situation, but similar. It HURTS. I’m so sorry you’re going through this too.
Thank you. It’s so horrible. She’s been like a sister to me since we were teenagers, but the way she’s been behaving over all this is awful. She’s coming up to see me this weekend – there’s an all-night 80s fantasy film party at my favourite cinema – and I’m scared there’s going to be a friendship-ending row. If I’d thought about the timing I wouldn’t have organised this.
Well, I know lots of people who disagreed with friends/partners over the Scottish referendum and I don’t know anyone who actually got a divorce so…as long as no one gloats?
This morning my flatmate posted a photo of me and her outside the polling station with a Remain-supporting caption and this friend (who has never met my flatmate) Facebook-yelled at her for doing so. I wouldn’t worry if it was just a difference of opinion, but she’s really angry and my being pro-Remain genuinely offends her.
yeah i think you need to be able to agree to Never Speak Of It if you want to stay friends. (the independence referendum was a Forbidden Topic between me and my flatmate, because we were/are on opposite sides and there’s just no point in discussing it) And you both have to be capable of not bringing it up :/ It’s a shitty situation :(.
facebook politics haranguers aren’t really capable of being friends anyway; it’s like iguanas, they don’t have that instinct like mammals do.
I don’t know what “it’s like iguanas” means but I love it anyway.
can you preemptively send her some kind of very short, very simple message to the effect you love her no matter how the Brexit vote turns out? (edited for appropriate British reserve)
key point: it would have to be sent before the vote outcome is known or even guessable. but i think that might soften her up / refocus both your perspectives.
I am. I just can’t quite bring myself to be friends with someone who would vote for this campaign, you know? To me it is nothing but racist bullying, and it’s hurting people I love, and the idea that a person could believe in it would (has) really put me off them. I’m so sorry. This is all so fucking awful.
I have a friend of ~19 years and I fear we are in friend-divorce territory over the Orlando massacre. Both because she said some deeply personal and unkind things to get me to shut up and go away (No. That is not how decent humans behave.) and also because of her views on Islam, the Muslims who have responded to the situation, and her attitudes about gun control. Also, that she and her wife have had a gun in their house for as long as I have known them, and they have said nothing, and continued to say nothing when we were making plans for me to bring my two year old child there. So… I’m not sure who’s initiating it, but we’re both looking at it. I am pretty torn up about it.
Oh, that’s awful. I’m so sorry.
I cracked open Between The World And Me last night after two glasses of wine and by bedtime I had read over half of it. So the interview is a really nice supplement to the book.
I’m stubborn and vastly prefer reading paperbacks over hardbacks and keep holding off on Between the World and Me because I want the first time I read it to be with the book I want to own long term which MUST be a paperback, cause I’m weird. But it’s taking so damn long for them to release it!
My problems are pretty minimal in the grand scheme of things.
I am an European and living in the UK, this is not a good day for me.
I’m worried for the outcome but I mostly hate that I don’t have a say in a decision that is going to massively effect me. Luckily, I work in science and everyone is very pro-Europe and vocally Remain.
To make matters worse, I stupidly decided to have a look at Nigel Farage’s twitter, big mistake. BIG mistake.
Frustrations are high, concentration is low.
I will probably up the whole night with my flatmates watching tv, drinking beer and praying for a Remain win.
I like to imagine that Nigel Farage talks with Robin Leach’s voice, not because there’s anything all that wrong with Robin Leach’s voice, but because it would really upset Farage if people believed that’s what he sounds like.
How did Sansa get so big? She didn’t eat Nicole or her husband or children, did she? The cat? I’m just saying, she presents like the floofiest smoochems ever, but are you doing regular head counts? She could be lulling you into a false sense of security.
When I was VP/HR of our family-owned business, my parents took extensive trips all over the world and the second one of our employees talked about travel my dad would launch into one of his “did you know…” stories about some nature or culture based factoid from that place, and never shut up about what places the employee should visit and intercom my mom to ask her ‘what was the name of that waterfall..?’ and generally be tone-deaf to the employee trying to back slowly out of the room.
So then they all just started telling me ‘I’ll be gone on X days, tell your dad’ and running away. I don’t think it’s an extreme the AAM employee would prefer, but I hope non engagement with the whiny boss leads to a happy medium between her current boss and my dad.
“less sweetness and more weird dirt aftertaste”
what a great phrase! this describes so many “healthy” versions of stuff that actually tastes good.
Molasses is 100% dirt taste!
I like dirt but importantly molasses isn’t trying to lie to you. No where on the jar of molasses is a cartoon of a skinny white lady in an apron or the suggestion that it can be used 1:1 as a substitute for anything that is not molasses.
This is beyond odd to me bc the only times I have ever experienced molasses is in extremely decadent desserts my grandma and mom make? Is, is it a health food now? How did that happen?
i think it depends on how you define “health food”. it seems big amongst the “clean, natural, whole” foods peeps i know. like, it’s morally superior to granulated sugar. or something. i don’t know. *shrug*
I dunno but if anyone is using actual molasses as a sugar substitute they need to be slapped. Molasses is the opposite of sweet.
Bitter. Molasses is bitter.
I knew there was a word for that
I was told by my midwife to put it in my coffee, because it had iron. I actually like it on pancakes, sometimes. My son loves all things molasses.
Oh it is the best in coffee. Just makes everything rich and deep.
And cookies. Oh molasses cookies.
but it is not an anything substitute.
I should have read further down the thread, as I said the same thing–it’s great in coffee in tiny amounts.
My boyfriend likes to sing that song:
♫ Black strap molasses and the wheat germ bread / Makes you live so long you wish you were dead ♫
which I think goes back to the ’50s. So it was considered sort of a “weird health food thing” for a few decades at least.
True story: a very tiny bit of molasses (like, whatever will fit on the very end of a spoon) can make cheap coffee taste more like french roast. No idea why.
Oh man. That takes me back to my aunt’s whole wheat cookies – one of the biggest disappointments of my childhood. I still remember my dad taking a bite and quietly saying it tasted like she added diesel fuel.
I wonder if you could even sell a good-tasting health food; I’m p sure they take stuff that’d be perfectly normal and add dirt and lawn clippings because people won’t believe in it unless it feels like penance.
In a couple instances, I imprinted on the healthy version (Rice Dream “ice cream” sandwiches), which means the healthy version tastes like volunteering at the co-op with my mom and getting to try whatever snack I want, even as I recognize that brown rice syrup tastes pretty aggressively “virtuous.”
There are health-food-store peanut butter cups that I vastly prefer to Reese’s, even without nostalgia going for them, because I like dark chocolate better than milk chocolate and prefer unsweetened peanut butter.
What’s sad about that is that lots of health food tastes fantastic; I have a recipe for a lentil soup that’s full of tomatoes and kale that is just great–it’s flavored with hot paprika.
Case in point-carob. That crap is NOT CHOCOLATE. 30+ years, still not letting it go.
Nor should you!
My personal beef (lol) with “healthy” versions of actual food, besides the taste and price, is that then I have to convince people that no, this vegan food I made really is delicious and full of flavor, I’m not trying to make my lentils pretend to be something they’re not, come back, chickpeas just want to love yoouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu…
The line in the article about vegan desserts bugged me. I have never pretended that the vegan versions of desserts are healthier. They’re still full of sugar and fat and that’s what makes them so delicious! They just don’t have animal products, that’s all.
There are several amazing places near me that make vegan baked goods, vegan donuts, vegan treats of all kinds, and you wouldn’t know they were vegan most of the time unless someone told you.
And even when something isn’t full of sugar and/or fat, it can still be delicious! But it can’t be pretending to be something that’s full of sugar and fat. Raspberry sorbet is delightful, but don’t try to sell it to me as an ice cream substitute.
Also: a friend of mine who works for a catering company told me that she recently learned that you can make meringues with leftover chickpea liquid. Whaaaaaaaaaaat.
Coconut Bliss, however, is mostly coconut cream, and therefore has nearly the same mouthfeel as dairy ice cream, which is fatty and sweet and glorious, and it DOES make a good substitute. Several companies make variations on the same concept now, and many of them don’t have any coconut taste to them at all.
Re: meringue: it’s called aquafaba. It’s apparently been a Known Thing for ages in places that eat more chickpeas than we do! I’ve had a few friends try it out and it works, which just boggles the mind. I don’t even know why I’m surprised–years ago my fave vegan cookbook author started putting chickpea flour in things that are traditionally very eggy (like crepes and french toast batter), and I found it made them taste enough like eggs that it weirded me out at first! (It makes the raw batter taste weirdly bitter and disgusting, but once it’s cooked it’s fine?? Cooking is magic.)
I’m a big fan of coconut milk and frozen banana as an ice cream analog. Although, I mean, it still isn’t ice cream, and I don’t try to pretend that it is.
I love Coconut Bliss so much and hope that it will still be in production by the time I begin making enough money to be able to buy it on a regular basis.
I voted by post a few weeks ago (Remain), so have nothing to do election-wise today except sit and worry about whether I filled in my ballot paper correctly. Everyone I know seems to be Remain, but I know I live in a bubble of left-wing (Labour-voting, Guardian-reading), university-educated young people. Last year my Facebook news feed was one long stream of pro-Labour posts, but there was still a Conservative victory; I grew up in the south-east of England, aka Tory heartland, but am the daughter and granddaughter of committed Labour voters who would never vote Conservative in a million years. My bubble is not necessarily a representative one, and that is a scary thought. (Seeing the crowd roaring in approval of Boris Johnson’s points during Tuesday’s debate was a horrible sight.) Keeping my fingers crossed.
I don’t understand the AAM person’s boss at all. So they’re complaining that their accountant manages to go on holiday more than they do, even though they almost certainly earn more? That feels like a very odd complaint to make.
This is what I’ve been wondering about too (and part of the reason I always try to be really skeptical when I read about politics in a country not my own). As an American, every single thing I have seen about this issue is firmly pro-EU, but who the hell am I to know if what I’m reading bears any relation to popular sentiment in the UK?
I feel you. My surroundings are very similar, although being European myself people might just be afraid to tell me they will vote out. (Although I am not sure Brexit supporters might not be that polite)
Surfacing is an excellent make-out album.
And that is all I have to say about that.
Oh man, this just brought back awkward memories of this one boyfriend I had in college. We pretty much exclusively made out (and whatever else) with Mirrorball playing in the background. Yikes.
And now I realize I totally meant Fumbling Toward Ecstasy.
I think that’s the one some coworkers would play endlessly at my first bookstore job. One day a regular customer who was also an author and noted herbalist, a very tall, kind of Fleetwood Mac-ish (not one member but the whole band) looking Englishman, asked, “What is this?” My coworker told him, and he said, “It’s giving me constipation.” I will love him until the day I die.
The bookshop next to my building was playing Sarah McLachlan once when I was in there. It deals primarily in law textbooks. The music did not inspire capitalist feelings in me.
That was my college go-to. Once I set the CD on repeat so that we would not have to take a break from making out, then gradually realized I’d accidentally set it to repeat just one song, and we’d been listening to “Do What You Have to Do” for like 25 minutes. It was the dorm-room-makeout version of John Mulaney’s Salt & Pepper Diner story.
I literally just downloaded the song Possession a few weeks ago and have had it nearly on repeat ever since. I love that song SO MUCH.
I’ve never read The BFG (that I can recall), but I grew up with the animated film, which I watched over and over as a kid (despite the child-eating giants being fairly terrifying). I’m curious what this new one will be like.
I remember reading and liking The BFG but my mother insists that it terrified me. Possibly both are true.
Perhaps I am too cynical, but could the Dems have picked the “No Fly” list specifically because either the Republicans have to either admit that the list is a blunt tool with many constitutional inconsistencies which is mostly for show and not actually a good way to identify probable terrorists so we shouldn’t use it to restrict the constitutional rights of citizens, or they say “The No Fly list is absolutely the best way to identify potential terrorists, but that doesn’t mean that those potential terrorists shouldn’t be able to buy weapons”?
I’m too cynical, aren’t I?
One cannot be too cynical while following legislative politics. I think you’re right on the money.
TBH, I’m pretty sure that’s why they picked it. I’m not sure it’s going to work, but it’s not a bad strategy
That is basically what this is.
The Dems picked the No Fly list specifically to get proactive about because many Democrats, especially in the federal party establishment, have vocally wanted more and more far-reaching things like the No Fly list for a very long time. Feinstein was in love with it long before anyone thought to tie it to a wedge issue like guns. There’s no 11-dimensional chess strategy going on here, it’s exactly what it appears to be.
I wouldn’t say you’re too cynical, but you’re probably giving them way too much credit for forethought.
(“I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.” – Will Rogers)
It’s also an easy case in the sense that it relates directly back to this original shooting that’s fresh in everyone’s memory.
Any other 90s video game kids not able to keep thinking about the alternative meaning of BFG when you read the title of that movie?
#doom #quake
yuuuup
Toasts, last night my dad answered an anti-abortion robocaller, and he WENT OFF. He said, “Well let me share some of my experiences with you” and detailed my mother’s failed pregnancies that needed to be termed. He was embarrassed afterward because he ended the rant with “And you can go fuck yourself” but I have never been prouder. *Heart eyes emoji*
I do not know your dad, but I love him.
SAME
Please tell him that he has an internet fan club.
Listen, I get that everyone needs a job and there are people on the other sides of those robocallers, but they are calling you[r dad] and interrupting your [dad’s] life completely uninvited. Kudos to your dad for letting them have it!
(I. . . may have unloaded on a Gallup pollster who called my work cell phone 15 times over the course of 3 days when I finally decided to answer to find out who was calling.)
I can’t say for certain but based on what I know of its left equivalents I’m reasonably certain you don’t get to be an anti-abortion robocaller unless that is something you have specifically sought out and have the ideological credentials to be selected for. Those folks aren’t selling people fake cruises or dodgy insurance, they’re crusading for the Cause.
yes, I think this was someone who is committed to her *abhorrent* cause and volunteered.
Probably no one is reading this far down, but the top of the this story on BASE jumpers in Moab is the dirtbaggiest thing I’ve ever seen. (And it’s about public land use and the BLM and the desert and lots of fun things.)
“The Thanksgiving event, now in its eighth year, is called GGBY. It stands for Gobble Gobble Bitches, Yeah!, and yes, there’s a T-shirt. If you’ve got a badge and happen to be asking, it’s a spontaneous, leaderless assembly, which means it doesn’t require insurance, restrooms, or anything else that the Bureau of Land Management—the law in these parts—usually asks of event organizers.”
First thought: 100%! pure dirtbag t-shirt
Second thought: no porta-potties? Ewwwwwwww.
Will return to read more later!
Thanks for linking this! I’m still reading through, and it’s fascinating, but (as a part-time dirtbag climber myself) I sometimes I have so little patience for dirtbags, especially Dean Potter and friends.
ETA: got a little further and oh sweet jesus, “Sketchy” Andy is a strong contender for “the worst,” isn’t he? And it kills me how the community just accepts it because he’s good at walking on floppy ribbons.
That was super interesting, thanks for it! And man, that entire story is so dirtbag.
A part of me (I want to say the part of me that wishes it was still in its early 20’s) wants to be them and thinks they’re so cool. And the rest of me is a little disgusted by the entitlement of feeling like in order to experience the natural world, you have to be willing and able to rough it and risk your life.
I think anything that gets people out in nature is good. I was in Joshua Tree recently and was amazed at how well that park is planned. There’s something for everyone there. You can go trekking in the desert in any direction with just a map and a compass, no trail. You can free climb or trad climb or boulder on ridiculous rocks. You can go on well-trodden and well signed hikes. You can have severe mobility issues and be driving in a car and get out in a wheelchair and STILL see some amazing stuff.
These people make it sound like making wilderness accessible is just catering to lazy gas-guzzling RV people. And in part it is. National Parks are expensive to run, so you bring in what funding you can, and that lets you preserve the rest of it. But the other part that they ignore is the part about enabling people who otherwise wouldn’t or couldn’t see the wilderness at all. And that is good and important!
I couldn’t get past the first sentence where he refers to them all as a tribe. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
SAME.
New favourite thing: an American friend-of-a-friend on Facebook telling us we should all vote Leave because Americans wouldn’t stand for such a lack of democracy. And quoting her mate the King of Norway in support of her position.
Most of us are trying not to poke our noses into someone else’s business, but this can effect many people in many places.
Don’t know if anyone is reading this far down, but is anyone else paying attention to #staymadabby ?
Yes, and I wish there were more Crying Jordan memes.
stay ma dabby?
I saw #BeckyWithTheBadGrades and fell over.
That is hilarious
it’s fucking beautiful.
as a texan who graduated in the top 10% (but did not go to UT for other reasons), I’ve enjoyed everything about this. What a spoiled baby. You should have worked harder in high school instead of fucking around, Abby!
Seriously. She’s now on record as being a racist cry-baby forever. Oh, you thought you were guaranteed a spot at your flagship state U because your’re white, and because you’re you? And then some Black person was smarter and worked harder? Poor wittle you!
It reminds me of the news coverage a couple of weeks ago of a couple of Texas high school valedictorians, one of whom is going to UT-Austin, revealing that they’re undocumented. And the parents of other kids at the school responded by saying “I never wished ill to a child before, but deport them! They cheated!” Exsqueeze me, how did they cheat exactly? They were smarter and worked harder! And they dared to be smart and work hard, even after their parents made a decision for them, many years ago, that they had no control over!
Possibly I’m not at my most coherent right now, but this kind of entitlement enrages me.
Let me add to my own cogent comments to say, her response to not getting into her top choice was not to say “Oh, my bad. I will work hard for 1-2 years, then see about transferring.” Her response was to throw a racist temper tantrum. Which her parents enabled, with lawyers. Which means that, to a large degree, this was her parents’ idea.
Hopefully, she will wake up in 5-10 years and be very embarrassed about all this. But if not, I feel bad for her, because she has to be her for the rest of her life. When faced with rejection/adversity, rather than treating it as an opportunity to look at herself/work harder/be better, she uses it as an opportunity to be more racist? I am rooting for her to gain more life experience and realize the error of her ways.
You know she was recruited for the case, right? There was an actual search for just the right mediocre entitled white girl to bear the standard.
Ugh, I did not know that. I’m not sure if that makes her look better or worse.
Guys… I hate being a Woman who Dislikes a Celebrity but I really Do Not Like Chrissy Teigan. I don’t know why? I think it’s because I can’t stand that celebrity lip sync show and I feel like she shouldn’t be on it? But I feel like a Bad Person for disliking her… though her recipes look pretty good compared to GP’s. (and I’m not a fan of GP but I don’t dislike her like… like I think people feel about KimK the same way I feel about CT right now)
Basically please tell me why she’s awesome so I can change my mind. I’d like to and I just Don’t Get It
I have similar feelings towards her. But my friend is a fan and I got her the cookbook for her birthday and apparently it is excellent so I have more respect for her since she seems to have created a celebrity cookbook that is accessible and tasty.
I think she’s funny and kind of ludicrous and is one of those celebrities who’s like “woah, wtf, how did I get here? This world is so weird. Let me post about it and take down the 4th wall for those who are obsessed with celebrity culture,” which i really appreciate. But if you don’t find her funny/endearing I don’t think it’s a big deal — different strokes for different folks, baby.
Me too <sigh>. I want to like her cause I like John Legend and that excerpt above makes her sound super cool. But when I watch clips of Lip Sync Battle, she strikes me as weirdly inauthentic. Like she’s always focused on looking hot, while everyone else on stage is just getting into it.
SEE OK that is basically why I didn’t like her on LSB!! She was so pouty and tan and fake laughter!?
OT but it’s my birthday today! I’ve taken the week off from work, which means life has been delightfully chill, and now it’s my birthday day! I plan on making a rhubarb cake.
Tell me the *something* you much have on your birthday. Me, I like time off and cake. My step-dad is all about some kind of chocolate cake and his annual tator-tot meatloaf (yes, that’s real. I’ve eaten way too much of it).
I like to take myself off somewhere quiet and do a sort of big picture “where I am in life” type thing in my journal. I’ve been doing it for over 20 years. Maybe someday I’ll go back and read them all.
Oh, and dinner somewhere nice. A caesar salad and a steak, generally.
That sounds lovely. I like to do a personal tarot reading, and your journaling sounds amazing.
Also I had a tattoo consultation yesterday, and that’s going to be one of my big personal purchases for the year… So excited.
I am intrigued by “tater-tot meatloaf”.
It’s almost exactly what it sounds like. Meatloaf with a layer of tator-tots on top, then drowned in cream of mushroom, I think. Lol!
Flowers!
Happy birthday! Cake is essential.
I’m very excited to make this cake.
My birthday is also Toast Death Day, so I am hanging out at a bar and hopefully seeing and sobbing with other Toasties.
I’m on a no-baked-goods-deal right now, but usually I bake several cakes and make ice cream for 4th of July gatherings; that way I get Cake Variety, but also share it.
Booooo Toast Death Day. 🙁 My sister’s birthday is the next day, so I get the 4th celebrations mixed in with birthdays celebrations.
Have a drink for me!
Some kind of sparkling wine.
Mmmm, I might do that tomorrow night while I’m watching A Midsummer Night’s Dream in the park.
Psst, this is the cake I just put in the oven: http://commonsensehome.com/rhubarb-pudding-cake/
I really love rhubarb cake, and this is a different version than I’ve made before.
That Sarah McLachlan article:
IT ME
Especially all the Celtic stuff.
Truly, I spent most of 1998-2000 laying on my bed listening to Sarah McLachlan, Enya, and Loreena McKennitt and imagining what it might be like to have sex.
Also, my love for Sarah McLachlan was SO WELL KNOWN at my (small, Catholic) school that when it came time for the annual Teachers vs 8th graders volleyball game, my shirt had some Sarah McLachlan-related nickname on it.
Just…so self-serious. My early poetic stylings were all in the vein of Enya, Loreena McKennitt, and Sarah McLachlan. I also dabbled in some dubious cultural appropriation.
I still listen to Loreena McKennitt when I’m reading in the evenings.
<3 So Soothing.
Niiiice!
When I reread Lord of the Rings this year, I had Enya’s Shepherd Moons on repeat and felt suitably in the mood for it.
TOASTIES.
On Tuesday I was giving myself an ulcer worrying about losing $900 on my show.
Today I am fifteen tickets away from a sellout and one ticket away from officially being in profit-land.
We sold THIRTY-NINE tickets yesterday. Jesus Space Christ.
I would be there in a heartbeat if I could!! I am so excited for you.
Sansa is so big!
When we got Thor he was bit smaller than the cat. Zoe took him on as her kitten and trained him in important cat-things when she though us humans were slacking. He is great at finding a sunny napping spot.
He grew and eventually reached his big dog size of 65 pounds. The cat would sit and stare at him because she couldn’t understand what had happened. We had a dog before but he was adopted as an adult and, while he was a giant monster of an animal, he didn’t get any bigger while we had him.
A few years later I adopted an adult Chihuahua and the cat never really trusted that he would stay small.
Re: Sansa lying on the floor. I’ve seen this trick from my own big dog.
“What you mean I in the way? How could I be in the way? I tiny puppy.”
Here’s a small amount of brexit humour.
http://newsthump.com/2016/06/21/cats-would-vote-t…
Hahaha, oh my stars! Sounds about accurate.
HAH!
OMG PURE MOODS
i had forgotten all about it
As I stated more or less over on Pajiba, I just want to say that I adore the UK with every fiber of this American heart of mine–it’s the place I love most in the world, honestly. I wasn’t entirely cut out for where I am, but choices were made in 1633 and here we are, and immigrating is really quite difficult when you’re competing with an entire continent of qualified, multilingual people. But UKIP is an unmitigated trash fire of awful, and they must not be allowed to win. And if that lessens my chances of ever getting back to the place my ancestors left so they could come to a place called Maggotty Bay (really? really.), then I’ll have to live with that.
My heart and mind are with you guys today. This will pass, as our own American brand of awful must surely also pass eventually. And hey, if anybody knows of a job opening for a left-leaning, bookish, computer savvy Britophile American on that side of the pond, you know, I’d be happy to add to the light side the next time this kind of referendum comes up.
A little too downthread for this discussion, maybe, but… I was kind of curious about two things on the “longreads” piece.
whether or not I experience other people’s suffering in cold-hearted aesthetic terms does not ease or aggravate their suffering
But if, as he mentions later, the subject is expecting the ease of their suffering as a result of agreeing to be a subject, and the reporter knows they aren’t likely to get it and knows that despite his disclaimers the subject still expects it, and THEN the subject’s suffering is not eased… wouldn’t that be “aggravating” the subject’s suffering via false hope?
If given the choice, he would much prefer to have, say, a hundred dollars, or fifty, or five. (Unfortunately, that would be unethical.)
I’m not a journalist and haven’t been formally taught in journalistic ethics, but I’m curious why that’s unethical. Couldn’t we consider sharing your suffering emotional labor, and thus due for compensation (not that we do a good job in general of compensating people for emotional labor, but still)? Is the reason this is considered unethical that the person may change their story to something supposedly less truthful that they think the reporter wants to hear if they know they are being paid or what?
Yes, it’s unethical for the same reason that a defendant paying witnesses for the ’emotional labor’ of testifying in their favor in court would be, and casts a pall over the entire resulting work.
Whatever reasons people believe they have to tell their stories are meant to be their own, and the journalist is (ideally, hypothetically, never in practice) simply the invisible eyeball there to record it without tainting the scene. There’s other schools that acknowledge that tainting the scene is inevitable and journalists are active participants in their own stories (which is the sort of thing Hunter S. Thompson was originally notable for, before fratboys latched onto all the drugs), and other roundabout ways of buying stories from people that’re more accepted, but if you’re gonna go down the road to just buying the quotes you want you might as well stay home and make the whole story up Stephen Glass style.
I hear what you’re saying, and that makes sense to me mostly.
Here’s the contention I have with the comparison to testifying in court: in court, someone is testifying to aid in the dispensing of justice (ideally, that is, we all know it doesn’t really work out that way all the time or maybe even most of the time). And also, jurors are paid, albeit not a significant enough amount of money to affect their lives other than mitigating their inconvenience. What’s the ethical difference there, first of all? And also, everyone in there knows what they’re getting out of the deal.
I suppose if you really are trying your damnedest to disabuse someone of any false expectations, you are doing your due diligence and that’s that. But saying telling this story may give someone false hope and then also saying that your participation doesn’t cause any harm is just a little unsettling to me.
Jurors get paid, but they also don’t get the option to forgo the paycheck and the jury duty, and their decision comes after the fact with their compensation already established (and they still strongly side with the folks signing their paycheck). Witness’ testimony isn’t guaranteed the same way; they have agency to just not testify and the option for their testimony to be cut from the case if the lawyers don’t like what they’re hearing. The jury in this increasingly threadbare analogy would be the readers, looking at the testimony of the subjects having already committed to reading the story and forming their opinions from there. Newspapers would fucken love to bribe their audience to read them but it doesn’t work that way.
Mainstream journalistic ethics are by no means flawless, and the whole pretense to objectivity IMO does more harm than good, but I appreciate that at least some field reporters really make the effort to keep a hard line between events and people as they appear on their own and the Narrative some guy at the Times wants to tell everyone. Giving someone false hope that your presence there might cause somebody to give a shit strikes me as the least harm a reporter can possibly do and still, y’know, show up.
It’s not quite an exact analogy, because even if there’s no “carrot” involved in testifying in court, there’s definitely a “stick” (i.e., being sent to jail for perjury if you lie).
I’ve encountered in person the phenomenon of rich people who whine to significantly less rich people about not being rich enough and expect actual sympathy, and I still don’t understand it, but I feel like a guillotine in the public square might cure it
The law firm I work at does what I call “rich people law” (business, estate planning, financial services) and it’s a good thing I don’t work directly with clients, because I would find it, ahem, difficult to be sympathetic to some of them.
no time! geesh my mom leaves for a week and the illusion that I have my shit together completely falls apart.
What am I supposed to do with large children who, if I go to work, just.don’t.wake.up. I literally tried for an hour at 8 am. I got one to take meds. Wouldn’t get up for band rehearsal. Came home at noon and still asleep. Ran an errand and at 1:30, I STILL had to nag him out of bed. And force him to eat–which i doubt he ate enough.
People are just like, “my teenager gets himself up”. “my daughter has always gotten up when I do…when mom is awake, nobody else gets to sleep”. What kind of robots are these people? My family is the kind that sleeps through dorm fire alarm drills.
health question: 13 yr old has had UTI’s since she was FIVE. Mostly non symptomatic. We’ve done imaging, etc, long term antibiotics, urologist, whole 9 yards. That was 3 years ago I think? verdict: the antibiotics are giving her more harm than the uti’s, if they don’t hurt, just live with them.
She is now THIRTEEN, terrified of getting her period (just due to thirteenness), and the UTI’s still don’t hurt, but she is getting constant fevers. I know what comes next–and the ped urologist is a guy, and the tests are totally painful and invasive, and my little girl can’t stay sick all the time, and on top of that she leaves for her dad’s for a month, on next wednesday.
How do I do what she needs to get healthy without hurting her? while she is at her dad’s? when she is so freaked about puberty already, and feels embarrassed for having these anyway? UGH.
Ugh, I’m so sorry you’ve got so much on your plate.
I wish I could give you advice on either problem. I was a kid who had UTIs when I was little, and then they resurfaced when I was 13, after taking my first bath with bath salts (instead of shower) that I ever remember. They eventually went away after I gave up on ever having a bath again, although every once in a while I would get another bladder infection. Or, at least, that’s what I thought until I went to an urgent care place in a new city as an adult, and was told that there was no sign of infection, so I probably just have a sensitive and easily irritated bladder (yay?).
I’m sorry that doesn’t seem to be the case with your kiddo, and I hope you and her and the doctors can find a real solution soon. I know from experience that while it’s not fun to be a sick kid…it’s probably 10,000 times worse for you than it is for her. In the end I’m much more horrified (looking back) by how awful it must have been for my parents to shepherd me to doctor’s appointments and blood tests and MRIs in the face of the unknown, than I was by my own experience at the time.
As for your oversleeping teens? IDK. My natural wake-up back then was about 11-1, but I got up with an alarm (a Cd that allowed me to wake up slowly) on most days, with an occasional reminder from my dad. my parents are kinda robotic, tho. i love them, but it’s hard to live up to how efficient they are as humans.
(virtual hugs if you want them)
“What am I supposed to do with large children who, if I go to work, just.don’t.wake.up. ”
Let them experience the consequences of their actions. Sounds like they are well old enough to learn that sleeping through band rehearsal enough means getting kicked out of band, etc.
It’s kid-led sectionals practice, so what he’s really missing on is time with his band friends. And much needed sousaphone practice. I am happy if he goes because it usually extends into boys actually doing social things together, which is pretty rare.
The big thing is that he wakes up, can’t eat, goes to work at 3, and then at 9 pm hasn’t eaten since the day before.
I will try to chill out and let them just sleep.
can you focus on the Not Eating part of the problem? If there were cereal bars or protein shakes or something else non-threatening and easy to take to work, would he eat them?
Yep,I have them, but they are probably too far back to be easily seen by a tired person looking in the pantry. Cereal bars are a good idea, I haven’t tried those.
Unless they have jobs or appointments to be somewhere, is there really any harm in just letting them sleep late? That seems like perfectly normal teenager behavior to me.
And some people are just like that, even as adults– I’ve been a night owl my whole life, and I have no problem sleeping in until 1 p.m. on my days off. (Or later!) Getting up early, just for the sake of being up, has never made much sense to me.
I take NatureMade cranberry pills for occasional UTIs, and they seem to work very well. I greatly prefer taking the pill version to drinking gallons of the stuff.
My sister and I did this to our brother only when absolutely necessary. Like if he gets to high school late one more time he’ll be suspended. Or he has a medical appointment it took months to get.
We knock on his bedroom door and open it only a crack. So he can hear us count down from 15, loudly. At zero, we burst in and head quickly to the foot of his bed, pull his bedding off his feet, and work together to cross his ankles. We keep twisting his ankles until his body has no recourse but to fall off the bed. Then we dump his mattress on top of him. Then we remind him what our parents will do if he’s late again.
This was effective on a 6′ 1″ teen boy weighing 175 lbs.
I agree with everyone here, though. Let them sleep, experience consequences. Save dumping onto floor as a desperate measure.
You’re a good mom.
Considering both my boys at around 14 punched holes in walls while angry about being woken up, and I don’t have a partner-in-crime, I think I’m not gonna try that! (they also learned how to fix walls).
He came home reassured from his friends at work that the side effects will go away in a week or so. One guy told him that lack of appetite is really strong, and he didn’t eat for days. I promptly made my kid a grilled cheese sandwich and sat it in front of him!
He has a fancy sunrise alarm clock…I think maybe I’ll help him find it in his room and get it set up.
You are always so supportive. It means a lot to me. I am gonna cry next week!
Late to the comments, so not sure if this has already been said, but:
“McDade became the Casaubon of crime literature, and the University of Oklahoma Press published his key to all murderologies in 1961, under the title ‘The Annals of Murder: A Bibliography of Books and Pamphlets on American Murders from Colonial Times to 1900.'” = Grade A Middlemarch reference
Re Travel Man, I am not rich, but I manage to take at least a couple of small trips a year because I value travel and I make damn sure I get to do it. I save and budget, and I don’t stay at resorts, I stay at affordable smaller hotels. I travel light, I look for travel deals and I’ve been known to stay places with a kitchen and cook most of my meals from the local farmers market so I would have more funds for sightseeing. I also don’t stay anywhere longer than I think I need to, a long weekend is plenty for pretty much anywhere in the US, and a week for overseas. I know what I value about travel, seeing something different and meeting people, so I focus on those rather than anything fancy. Travel Man is a big baby.
Also, I don’t own my own business, which means that things can happen at my company and I don’t have to be around to be responsible for them.
Yeah, same. I don’t check bags on airplanes, use public transit instead of taxis/uber/etc, and I’m willing to do very long drives. Last time I went to London I stayed in a hostel that was £5 per night. Was it fancy? No, it was sorta gross. But it had women-only dorm rooms and allowed me to pay less for housing for my entire stay than I would have paid for a single night in a hotel! For my situation at the time, that made the difference between getting to go and not getting to go. So yeah, worth it.
Just saw the BBC headline… I feel ill.
It’s terrifying. Feels like a “wheels of world history turning” moment… And not in a good direction.
There have been a few moments in my life when I swear I’ve felt the alternate timeline split off and this is one of them.
I’ve done nothing all morning but refresh twitter and various news sites and despair. Just. Fuck everything. I’m so, so, sorry, UK Toasties.
I too believe that if I have more information I’ll feel better. It has only worked once or twice, namely when the wildfire wasn’t threaten in my friends’ house.
All night I kept thinking of the poster yesterday who said she doesn’t think she’ll be allowed to stay in London if they leave…
HURRAY WATCH EVERYTHING GO TO SHIT NOW. (And now I have to go to church and light a billion candles that this sort of decision doesn’t happen in the US in November.)
I swore I’d campaign for Hilary if Trump got the nomination. I should get on that. Mostly I want to sign up young voters for absentee because I think that works.
It has been a weird, rough morning. I work in a city that went over 60% leave, including what seems to be 90% of my colleagues at work. Spent lunch biting my tongue as they talked about the referendum, with the stellar conclusion that “Well we don’t know it’ll be bad, so people should just stop worrying. No harm in trying!”
I am not the only EU citizen working here, and the tactlessness of some of my (normally lovely) colleagues is astounding.
OH MY GOSH, UK Toasties I am so sorry! You were here for us only a week ago when we were shocked by the Orlando tragedy, an I want to – we all want to – be here for you now. I woke up last week feeling ill, feeling like my world had come crashing down around me, knowing my life would never be the same again, and I understand that that is how you all feel right now.
Somehow I knew about the terrible assination of your MP Cox, but I didn’t know what it was about, and hadn’t heard about Brexit till this very Link Roundup, but didn’t connect the dots, didn’t take the Brexit seriously. I thought it’d be like Grexit, maybe a wake up call to the rest of Europe to treat the UK’s problems seriously (whatever they were – I’m ignorant here). I did not expect this, and I know you didn’t either.
I don’t want to burden you with my own grief and confusion here. I can do my own research. I have been doing my own research this whole morning.
Just know that we, that I, understand and feel your grief and confusion and loss and anger. Let it out here, where you’re safe, here on The Toast, just like I did last week, like all the US Toasties did. I know I don’t have to really tell you that, but it’s the only thing I can think to say or do.
2 minutes of Enya would drive ME insane, alas. I grew up with an uncle who played Clannad ALL the time, and the new-agey version isn't any better. But I get how so many people find it soothing/relaxing.