0:00-0:01
Has clearly forgotten this song is next on the schedule; jogs hurriedly downstairs.
0:10
Lina Lamont-style “fruitful gestures”
0:14
That cigarette can’t be real. It would have gone out during one of those sweeping arm movements! Right? And Dean was never as drunk and like, laissez-faire about showbiz as his act made him seem; he’s a boozehound but he’s still a professional, you don’t have a career as long as his without knowing your mark and being able to finish a shoot on time. I see you, Dean. I’ll bet you were only ever a third as drunk as you seemed on set.
0:24
What a beautiful shit-eating grin.
0:30
THAT CIGARETTE WOULD HAVE AT THE LEAST PRODUCED SOME ASH BY NOW IF IT WERE REAL. THIS IS A PROP CIGARETTE DESIGNED TO FOOL US. LIKE SAINT SIMEON THE HOLY FOOL, WHO FEIGNED MADNESS LEST HIS TRUE SAINTLY NATURE BE DISCOVERED AND HE COME IN FOR APPROBATION AND PRAISE, DEAN MARTIN FEIGNED A GREATER ATTACHMENT TO VICE THAN HE TRULY FELT, THAT WE MIGHT NOT BE OVERAWED BY HIS SMOOTH LOUNGERY.
0:37
you SMOOTH MOTHERFUCKER, you keep rotating in half-circles like clockwork
0:59
does a little mnemonic device paired to some specific hand gestures to help him remember the line “now that binds me”
1:08
This entire sequence is clearly the inspiration for Krusty bursting into the recording studio while Lisa is developing Malibu Stacy and taking over the mic: “All right, you poindexters! Let’s get this right. One: Hey-hey, kids, I’m Talkin’ Krusty! Two: Hey-hey, here comes Sideshow Mel! Again: Here comes SIDE-show Mel. Three: Hoo-hoo-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Bada bing, bada boom, I’m done. Learn from a professional, kid.”
1:25
The choreography notes for this scene are as follows: Smile as smarmily as possible, twirl with as little follow-through as possible, shuffle up and back, get off in a tight 3:30
1:26
Literally points behind him when singing “behind me”
1:36
Almost comes in a beat too early, then stops himself and grins
1:40
Really sells “eating hobo soup out of a trainyard” while wearing a full tuxedo
1:42
Eyes go dead as he realizes he’s forgotten the next line
1:43
Sits down out of the sheer exhaustion of going without a cigarette for nearly two full minutes
2:01
Very nearly forgets the line again, but old Dean proves too quick for even his own forgetful mind; allows himself a little smile at his own triumph
2:11
“Ever gentle…[briefly panicked, then triumphant] SMILIN’ on my mind.” You gotta be quicker than that to make old Dean Martin slip up.
2:19
Some laid-back scatting in celebration of making it through an entire song, followed by an unbelievably casual flourish. “That’s how you do it, boys.”
2:22
Immediately takes a drag on the clearly-fake cigarette, which has not diminished a centimeter in length, and produces no smoke on his next exhalation.
2:23-3:36
Patter, and rest.
Dean Martin, the only man who would twirl smarmingly and make it look good
There’s that scene in Fire From Heaven where Theseus realizes that the vaunted Minoan empire is rotten at the core, and sends a message to his father saying that they’ll collapse with a single push. This must have been how the Beatles felt when they realized that this was their competition over here.
SO much awesomeness. The blatting fart-horns. The “cowch” in the background, conjuring thoughts of “the country,” where hoboes like Dean steal pies off windowsills and sleep in haymows.
And BTW, he fucked up “ever smilin’, ever gentle on my mind,” switching “smilin'” and “gentle” in sequence. I know because my absolute love for the one true (John Hartford) version of this song is my biggest feminist guilt.
3:26 “He’s a little square.”
Sir, you are not allowed to call other people square (not even as a set up for a punchline) after that performance.
The Moscatel like was pretty good, tho
TIL: I dance like Dean Martin.
Goddammit THIS might be the post that makes me saddest about losing The Toast. Where will I go now for random hilarious pointed affectionate teasing about crooners from my youth?
“Really sells “eating hobo soup out of a trainyard” while wearing a full tuxedo”
Please note that I have Dean Martin’s Greatest Hits (including “Gentle on my Mind”) on my iPod Nano. Also, I have an iPod Nano.
TWINS! But I have “Memories Are Made if This” on mine. And the original “Gentle on My Mind.”
Haha I turned on my iPod this afternoon to go take a walk and Glen Campbell “Wichita Lineman” came on, first song. I was tempted to take it off shuffle and listen to Glen sing “Gentle on my Mind” as well. But I NEVER take my iPod off shuffle. Which leads to some odd juxtapositions, like ol’ Dino followed by Green Day, and Hawaiian music followed by Rancid followed by Taylor Swift… SHUFFLE FOR LIFE
Take it off shuffle? Why, whatever for? (Except sometimes, I feel like it plays the same six artists over and over even though I have like 400 songs on it)
Also: Google “John Hartford Gentle on My Mind” – he wrote the song & he is why I still guiltily love it!
Oh gosh yes, I was in love with John Hartford when he was on the Glen Campbell show and the Smothers Brothers show, so cute (I was only a kid but had some serious crushes.) He’s the reason I’ve always had a secret fondness for the banjo, when bands like Mumford and Sons started with the banjo sound I was all over it. I also have a Mason Williams album…
Also, yeah, what’s up with the iPod saying Hey, I guess you only want to hear Fountains of Wayne Fire Island over and over and not any of your other 2000 songs.
Dean: Better Than Jerry In My Opinion
” I’ll bet you were only ever a third as drunk as you seemed on set.”
Reportedly, that whiskey glass he was always drinking from on stage was usually filled with apple juice. The excess and drunkenness was part of the act.
It would stand to reason the cigarette was a prop as well.
http://message.snopes.com/showthread.php?t=12961
edit: not that he didn’t smoke, but that it probably worked better for the camera that way.
Two: Hey-hey, here comes Sideshow Mel! Again: Here comes SIDE-show Mel.
*sighs* Mallory, the whole POINT of that line is that he initially calls him “Slideshow Mel”. *shakes head in disappointment*
(Lisa’s “”When I get married, I’m keeping my own name” … oh, no, that should probably be “If I choose to get married”” bit in that scene is one of my favourite Simpsons lines.)
I didn’t even know I needed an annotation of Dean Martin’s performance of Gentle On My Mind, but now the world would be incomplete without it.
O Toast, where will I find such things when you are gone?
this is why i love dean martin: because when he grins, it’s like a portal opens up and all the beauty of the universe spills out … but in his eyes you can still tell he’s a hard motherfucker
this is why i love dean martin: because when he grins, it's like a portal opens up and all the beauty of the universe spills out … but in his eyes you can still tell he's a hard motherfucker