1. One bottle of red wine can last two adults a week and a half. Somewhere around day seven, the cork will disappear; a mashed-up ball of foil jammed into the bottle neck will work just as well. 2. There is no amount of leftovers too small not to bring home in a doggie bag and prepare for lunch the next day. Two bites of salmon can be turned into nearly four tablespoons' worth of…

Devoted readers know I have long been obsessed with the ease with which one can kill or maim oneself in the kitchen. Just the other day, a Toast commenter had to curtail their weightlifting after nearly losing a finger to their immersion blender. My father needed stitches after slicing a bagel. And, of course, avocados: