Previously in this series: If Stephen Colbert Were Your Dad If you were Wonder Woman and Chris Pine were your boyfriend, you'd take a special, spiteful pleasure in apprehending any criminal who dressed in plaid. Because all day, every day, you'd be SURROUNDED by plaid. On laundry day, you'd look into the hamper and yell, "Jesus H. Christ, it looks like the Brawny Man vomited into this thing!" and Chris Pine would chuckle from…

Nicole Steinberg's Getting Lucky, a collection of sonnets constructed entirely from editorial copy from Lucky Magazine, can soon be in your hands. These poems, however, have nothing to do with said august publication or its editorial copy. - Ed.

FMK

All those times I made the babysitter watch
Sleeping Beauty, I was preparing for this.