There is a cannibal rat ship: A ghost ship supposedly crewed by hundreds of cannibal rats could be heading to British shores, experts fear. The Lyubov Orlova cruise ship, named after a Russian actress, has been adrift in the North Atlantic for the past 12 months. Coastguards now believe the floating derelict, cut loose near Canada in 2013, could be driven thousands of miles towards Britain following the recent storms, according to the Sun.

“You know,” Alisha says, “you’re being a little too healthy about this.” Slouched in a coffee-shop armchair, she’s a belly with a head and limbs stuck on as afterthoughts. A kick ripples the stripes of her t-shirt, and her face locks into a grimace. I rattle an ice cube into my mouth and crunch it. The brick in my throat matches the brick in my lower abdomen. I gulp a couple of times before I…