this is a regal little bug-dog and I must have him
I shall possess the long white ghost
the hound-home, I shall own it
the small fur-clown? banish everything else from my life and give me this
look at him, look at the beast with longing eyes, and give him mine to have
THE STOUT GENTLEBEASTS, I SHALL ENCAPTURE THEM WITHIN MINE ARMS
STOP THIS DOG FROM HIS NOBLE WAITING AT ONCE, THIS IS THE NOBLEST GREATBEAST WHAT DID I EVER HAVE SEEN
I will also accept this FANCY CHILD to be my FANCY FRIEND but I especially require her pillow-dog-friend
the dog is sad to have caused the bird to die. I must comfort him at once, and forever, that his sad eyes would lose their sorrow. Come to me and I will kill your sorrows as once you killed the bird.
the worry-dog with her Latin note! She shall be mine, and I shall be hers, and the only note she shall carry is I love you, dog
this FRESH MOPPET, I EXCLAIM WITH MY FACE
give me this muscle hound to stare at, she will reside on freshness and hay in the glories of my home
whatever this whole situation is, I require him immediately
you SNARL, you white cow with furred ears and doghands! you SNARL and I will accept your anger as my own!
this worried eyebrow with pillow feet! GIVE IT ME, give it to me for the purposeness of having!
[Images via]
Awwww, that poor Lab in #9 just wants to bring the pheasant back! He didn’t kill it but will bring it wherever his owner wants it!
ugh, edited to correct bird. My dad would be so disappointed in me.
Unless its owner is a really bad shot and failed to kill the pheasant properly; then you can blame the dog. But you can be fairly certain that it’s just doing its job of retrieving and need feel no guilt.
what of Goya’s dog? will you not save him?
This is a very good dog
Good Lord, now there’s someone who deserves ALL THE SCRITCHES EVER.
OH MY GOD that made me tear up
This painting has always given me very specific pain in my heart. The pain that recognises that all dogs will one day die and it makes me sadder than anything.
The huge blank space I had to scroll through represents my heart’s capacity to love him.
“the worry-dog with her Latin note” IS MY DOG
Here she is, not so much worrying:
freckles! freckles on her belly! not so much to worry about when you are a satisfied freckle-belly!
She really is incredibly freckular.
Whoa, what kind of a dog is that because that dog looks exactly like my dog (whose breed is a mystery)
Rat terrier mix! We’re not sure what the mix is, but she’s a little bigger & less brown than most rat terriers.
“Whatever this whole situation is”. A+
That dog is practically a Doctor Seuss animal.
It may, in fact, be a truffula tree.
I am sorry to report that it is a bleached, half-shaved monkey.
This situation is probably a chinese crested! My mother has these and they are tiny horse aliens with too much hair or none at all in mostly the wrong places!
Is that from the Lady and the Unicorn? I was totally expected the Lady’d dog to show up.
Sorrowful #9 only retrieved the dead bird his master shot. Or her mistress shot. Anyway it will probably all end in murder that Miss Marple will solve.
Perhaps she accidentally caught and killed it herself! Mine own dog did that with a grouse last fall, but did not sorrow, instead brought it back full of wriggling joy.
I think that dog is not good at its job.
I would also like the dogs playing poker. I like to imagine that we would drive to vegas and have a heist movie because no one expects dogs to be proficient gamblers. Sure, sparky whines when he has a good hand, but we’re working on that.
There’s no rule saying dogs CAN’T play poker!
WHO’S A GOOD BOY DEN WHO IS YESSOO ARE
This appears to be some kind of dog / cephalopod hybrid. Which I will gladly take home.
Octopodog? Dogtopoda? Hang on, I’ll get there.
Or a long-haired Dachsund moving so fast its widdle stubby legs look like a cartoon, which is PERFECT.
I was gonna say, looks exactly like my childhood dachshund attempting to walk on a freshly-waxed floor.
Dachshunds are actually the best doggies.
for your enjoyment, a picture of my dachshund in a sweater I knitted for her while the cat paws at her in jealousy.
cat: super pissed
dog: super smug
A+ petting
I live near a dog beach and it is GOOD and the best thing about it is when the lady with all the dachshunds is there when we are, because she will throw the ball near us, while we are standing ankle deep in water and we can WATCH THE DACHSHUNDS FRANTICALLY SWIMMING PAST US their little legs maddly paddling, their tails wagging with joy and effort. IN about 4″ of water.
Best.
This is the only good thing the Futurists produced and it doesn’t count because they just copied it from the lovely little doggie.
In re: “the beast with the longing eyes”- greyhounds just always look like that in general; they just live life in perpetual states of baleful yearning. Our rescue hound would even sigh. She would just splay her long knotty body on the couch, gaze yearningly at nothing and sigh. Actually sigh. Her melancholy made her perfect.
This, yes! I have a rescued English Pointer, and she lazes about on the couch with her wide, pitiful eyes, and she’ll sigh! My husband and I giggle every damned time. I always think, “You poor baby. Lazing about the house all day must be so terrible for you.” But we love her to pieces. She’s eight years old, but everyone thinks she’s still a puppy because of her, well, puppy eyes 🙂
My parents have a pointer mix and my dad is always talking about how worried she looks, and I’m like, that’s just how her breed looks. They’re not labs! She constantly looks worried, I don’t think that she is.
My mom had a mastiff. Now that’s a dog that can look worried. Big old wrinkled up forehead of concern. (and he did worry about things sometimes, you could tell. And then he’d move on and he’d have good thoughts and his forehead would smooth out.
I’m sure the dog is worried sometimes – she’s a bit anxious – but mostly she’s fine. Or she wants some of my sandwich because she’s never been fed before. Also possible.
We have a greyhound and can confirm all of this. His melodramatic sighs would put a 13 year old girl to shame. When my mom met him for the first time she asked, “Why is he so sad?” I had to explain that he was actually delighted to meet her, that’s just how he is.
Good to see the sight hounds so well-represented in this collection.
We TOO have a greyhound and she TOO sighs and looks with great piteousness in her eyes and we TOO are most amused by it.
And yes, one thing to be said for old European art is that hunting dogs are all over the place in it, and that is wonderful.
Greyhounds FOREVER.
We have two greyhounds and our girl is such an expressive sigh-er. She is also very good at showing the whites of her eyes to look extra pathetic, as needed. We’re shifting food time a bit so that daylight savings time will be less of a shock to all and last night while waiting for a human to get off the couch and fetch the food she laid down, rested her face on her front legs, stared up at us, and proceeded to sigh with every. single. breath. for a good five minutes. No whining, just sighing.
My mom was initially worried that our greyhounds always looked sad and we had to reassure her, no, that’s just what their faces look like. Resting dramatic melancholy face.
ohh, I love when dogs sigh. Like they have had a particularly hard day at the office and just need a little “me time” before cuddles commence.
My parents’ first French Bulldog was a real snuggler, like almost all Frenchies, and he would sometimes take a little time to get settled, but you’d always know when he was in it for the long haul because he would give a great snuffling intake of breath, followed by a tremendous sigh as he smushed his face into the nearest available surface. It was the best.
it’s probably a function of being about 80% lungs by volume but yes, there’s something undoggily theatrical about greyhounds spending all day lounging on the fainting couch and sighing at nothing. If they had thumbs they’d fan themselves
Labs sigh too! Our lab basically lounges on the couch she won in battle and sighs when she isn’t sleeping.
“Her melancholy made her perfect” is going on my tombstone.
#3 is a serious hoarding situation. #7: I haaaate it when people taunt dogs with food. Give him those sausages! #13 looks like a painting of a Chinese crested dog by someone who’s never actually seen one, but has heard of them.
#13 is a lowchen – they are often clipped like that,
*googles lowchen*
Oh cute! Much cuter than the painting!
3# is what I want out of life. Well, except those dogs are bigger than beagles.
Whatever this whole situation is = my favorite dog breed, that’s what.
That’s a Chinese Crested. From what I hear the naked bits are fuzzy like a peach, and their lack of fur means they constantly want to snuggle. A+ cuddledog.
There’s a Chinese Crested rescue group near me and they dress the dogs in baby pyjamas to keep them warm. It’s amazing.
That last dog is freaking me right out. Uncanny four-eyed hound! His regular button-bright eyes, and his darkly slit over-eyes hidden by wisps o’ mop-top, I cannot.
He looks like my Maltese, Micro. If Micro wants attention, he’ll just site and stare at you like that.
Posting pictures of dogs on walls is not the recent phenomenon I thought it was.
I should NOT have read this the day after my coworker brought her corgi puppy by the office. I WORK TOO MUCH TO HAVE A DOG. I CANNOT. I SHOULD NOT.
maybe a cat.
I’ll take all the poodles, since Mallory will not be requiring them. More for me!
These pointy dogs provide comfort during fraught familial confrontations. They are very good.
I don’t like the look of pointy dogs in real life but I sure like them in these paintings.
A pointy hound came and said hello to me the other day as I was walking and I was so happy. Pointy dogs are lovely.
One way to let a pointy dog know it is good is by scratching gently on its loooooong neck.
My pointy dog loooooves neck scratches. His eyes get all heavy-lidded and if you stop he will nudge you insistently and stare at you with the Eyes of Looking.
Mine did this the selfsame day we brought her home from the rescue. I chalk it up to her being some sort of prodigy.
Our pointy dog is not particularly a neck scratch lover, but she is very much a “Nudge Insistently And Stare With Eyes Of Looking” lady. Also, she is a champion leaner.
Especially right under the collar. I’ve won the affections of many a dog by giving it scritches under its collar.
I met a whippet/cattle dog cross about two weeks ago and I am still telling people about it. I accidentally told my cousin twice, and I was no less excited the second time, even though she laughed at me for saying I ‘met’ it, both times.
Get to know some pointy dogs and you will feel differently. I promise.
I am sure I would find them very nice dogs indeed and even if I didn’t I would of course be polite to them.
I do wish I could make the acquaintance of some!
They can be kinda painful if they sit down too close to you with all their elbows and pointy bits.
I like how he’s seconding the hunter’s clear, “Dude, NO.”
“I spurn your decadent chair-sitting ways, my family, and I shall take my leave. And my dog, who is worthier than all of you.”
i want this lil guy
WHAT? I must have him.
That may be a racoon in disguise. Which is not a reason not to want him, just be wary.
Looks like a very floofy Cairn terrier. Very nice dogs but very high energy!
Def cairn terrier. We had one when I was a kid, and she was the best. Good cuddler, but didn’t give them away to just anyone. She had high standards, did our Loch.
I never even noticed him in this painting!
As I understand it, a dog placed in a painting such as this one is there to represent faithfulness. I look for those little dogs in the corners of paintings ever since Art History 101.
My favorite part is the idea that all these dogs are only *probably* dead now. They may yet survive for to be snuggled.
Let’s keep hope alive for immortal doggies.
The Great Dog Collective still exists, that’s the important thing. The snugglableness of these dogs lives on and shall live on as long as the soulful eyes of Dog are deep.
#5: “I’m still not speaking to you.”
I will read all the books I have to this dog
When my mom was a kid she had a collie named Happy, who liked to come sit beside my mom when she was reading her picture books. My grandma liked to tell the story of how one day, my mom blurted out at dinner, “Happy is so smart, he can read without even moving his lips!”
That story is so sweet!
Oh my goodness, oh my goodness! THERE ARE WHOLE PROGRAMS WHERE KIDS READ TO DOGS! Because the kids get nervous! And the dogs are good listeners! IT IS THE BEST THING EVER AND I WILL TALK TO YOU AT LENGTH ABOUT IT IF GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY AND I TOOK THIS PICTURE AS THAT OPPORTUNITY THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME.
http://readingtodogs.weebly.com/research.html
I know! I think that is the best idea ever!
To be truthful, all of these reactions are me when I see any dog.
I immediately revert to a state of grabby hands and quiet(ish) expectation when I see any dog in my presence.
True story: I often find myself looking at pictures of dogs and getting sad that they died centuries ago. Never the people, though one would assume that they are also all dead.
Who else wants to hang with Una and Radclyffe Hall and their herd of prize-winning dachshunds?
#lifegoals
Okay, read that as “Who else wants to bang Una and Radclyffe Hall and their herd of prize-winning dachshunds?”
How can the well be lonely when it is filled with tiny-legged dogs?
As I was a-walking one morning for pleasure,
I passed by the pet shop as I made my way,
I spied a young dachshund, I would have walked onward,
But deep in my heart I could hear a voice say.
Whoop-i-tee I O, git a long little doggy,
A poor young dachshund and give him a home,
Whoop-i-tee I O, you don’t want them corgies,
Git a long little doggy, and give him a bone.
(Les Barker, as sung by June Tabor)
(Dachshunds are the best)
You already own the small fur-clown! It is Murphy!
Seriously, Mallory, we’ve all seen your Twitter! Don’t be greedy.
All the yes. I will take all the dogs please.
I ESPY WITH MINE LITTLE EYE, A CORG/TERRIER MIX.
So there’s a corgi/scottie mix in my building, which is like a recipe for serious napoleon complex. He’s a cutie, but he’s complicated.
On the other hand, I saw a corgi pitbull mix recently, and omg, UNBELIEVABLY cute. WANT.
I can still classify all these dogs by breed as if my dog-obsessed twelve-year-old self had never left me.
Same, I can’t help myself
The Fancy Child is very accomplished indeed to have acquired such fanciness AND such a splendid pillow dog friend at such a young age. Do you think she’s accepting proteges?
Obviously Mr. Uniform was painted first and the dog was added later, as the scene as presented is entirely unrealistic. I would guess that his superhuman powers of dog face resistance are meant to represent his fortitude in battle.
Indeed. Anyone who can resist the loves of a dog is unworthy of such a jocular pose.
Seriously, I want to attack him with ear scritches, belly rubs, and choruses of “whosa good boy, then? Whosa good boy?”
Wouldn’t you rather have a portrait of yourself in your military finery smooshing some dog face? That’s the way I’d want my family to remember me. As a dog-face smoosher, not some hoity toity dog-face ignorer.
Mr. Uniform is trying so hard to look serious for his portrait but you can tell that face is from the other 7 hours of the sitting where the doggies was running around the painter being adorable.
Please do cats next.
Oh my, I just visited one of the Balthus girl with cat paintings at the Art Institute of Chicago and DO WANT. Both the cat and the “No, fuck YOU, I will not cross my legs at the ankles like a lady” pose of the girl.
Maybe it’s just a case of diegogarcity but I make unholy noises whenever I see a sighthound in art – double especially the greyhound variety. This does seem to happen a lot, because sighthounds-and-especially-greyhounds are terribly photogenic, or whatever the art equivalent is of being photogenic.
For example, I almost didn’t notice the rather handsome gentleman in this painting, because WHAT HO SHAPELY GREYHOUND BUTTS:
[img ]https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/c7/b6/d8/c7b6d87efe84fd45f7ba9c511cb63709.jpg[/img]
My greyhound is 13 and now has a wizened old man butt, but in his prime it was indeed a butt to behold. I don’t have a picture, but I was in an art museum once and saw a painting of hunting dogs where the favorite greyhound was wearing a leather coat for protection. Smart, that.
apologies for my abject failure at image-embedment D:
The one with longing eyes looks like my own actual dog! Except he’s very old and his dark parts are turning gray. He still has the longingest eyes.
Aw, I love the way dogs look when they get gray. They are so sweet. Please pat your dog approvingly for me!
I am having a NOT GREAT day, but this post and all the comment threads are helping.
My scruffy wee mongrel looks like none of these dogs but she would want to be friends with many of them.
I hope your day gets better and your “scruffy wee mongrel” sound so cute!
Does this thread make anyone else think of Cyril from To Say Nothing of the Dog? Because, guys, Cyril.
With his weak chest and tendency to catarrh? In the book that I have two copies of on my bookshelf but I can’t get rid of one of them because what if I lose the other one and then I won’t be able to re-read it on a moment’s notice? Aw, Cyril.
I have an English Bulldog doorstop and I named him Cyril.
Mallory, These are all dogs of excellence and glory. As you are of a gothic romance and dogs focus ATM, I must know: DID YOU NOTICE THAT THE LITTLE SNUFFY-WUMPS PUPPYFACE IN CRIMSON PEAK WAS A PAPILLON? And what is papillon French for? BUTTERFLY. And what does Lucille say Edith is? A BUTTERFLY. SYMBOLISM, is all I am saying.
BRB writing fanfiction in which dogs get all the sausages
But why no poodles? How have the poodles slighted you?
The small fur clown looks like it’s possessed by Satan, and I am pretty sure the pink and white one IS Satan.
THE PORTRAIT OF THE LABRADOR! That thing graced my familial hearth for years! The kitsch! It all floods back! AHHHHH!
A friend brought her tiny tiny dachshund to church dinner last Wednesday, and I just could not even. Teeny-tiny head! Long fluffy ears! Eyes so dark brown they looked completely black! And the pointiest nose I’ve ever seen on a dachshund.
The look of intense concentration!!!
Sadly, ancient Roman so the dog is, indeed, probably dead now.
museumdogs.tumblr.com
Sfunny how many painted dogs are dachshunds, poodles, spaniels and hounds. Maybe they sit the most quietest?
My favourite dog who clearly IS adored already is from Joseph Crawhall, “Girl on a Bicycle.” I’d show it but I don’t know how, so here’s the link: http://www.art.com/products/p22112326808-sa-i7623…
I think it’s because those breeds are/were popular with people who could afford portraits.
My fiance and I are low-key planning to get one of those brown-and-white spaniels with the curly ears that all the Louis’s seem to have, and take formal portraits with it every year for our Christmas card.
I will treasure this for all the rest of my life.
Dogs invented by medieval monks perhaps?
Little late to the game, but if it makes you feel better, the Chocolate Lab didn’t actually kill the pheasant, he just retrieved it after his person shot it. He’s not a killer! But maybe he’s sad because he doesn’t like being an accessory after the fact.
IDK about that: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Es9VrJSmu7A&i…
This is the most accurate picture of a dog I have ever seen. It's like the Uffington Horse: not what a horse (dog) looks like, but what a horse (dog) be. (Thank you for that phrase, Terry Pratchett. I miss you.)
Worried Latin dog is saying something along the lines of ‘if you will bark, I will bark’. The expression on his face indicates that this is not his hoped-for outcome.
I love Misse and Turlu painting by Jean-Baptiste Oudry. Two beautiful white greyhounds owned by Louis XV. I recently adopted a greyhound who used to race at the dogs in New South Wales. I would love to have that Jean-Baptiste painting hanging on my wall.