Friends, I spend a lot of time in Wikimedia Commons trawling for public-domain art what I can fling jokes at, and when I come across a photo caption like “When a horse is suffering from worms (colic?).JPG,” I do not think. I act. I cannot keep these old German drawings of the three illnesses that horses can have to myself.
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“when a horse has worms”
“when a horse has an intestinal blockage”
“when a horse’s body is pierced by arrows”
Those are the three things that can happen to horses, goodnight.
Is anyone else remembering the heartbreaking James Herriot story where he had to shoot the horse who had a twisted bowel?
That’s what I came here to say!
Why did I spend so much of my childhood reading books where animals had to be tragically shot? Why did I seek them out?
At least most of the stories in those books didn’t end in tragedy for the animal.
Wow, I must have blocked that (no pun intended). And I even re-read them all relatively recently. But no, no recollection of that.
No, but I remember George Orwell’s “Shooting an Elephant”
“His body did not even jerk when the shots hit him, the tortured breathing continued without a pause. He was dying, very slowly and in great agony, but in some world remote from me where not even a bullet could damage him further.”
WHY DID YOU SHOOT THE ELEPHANT GEORGE? WHY?
well, I’m not sure that last one counts as “sick”, per se
I don’t know that I’d say that being shot with arrows necessary constitutes an illness.
quit mansplaining
Uhm actually it is HORSEsplaining when it is about horses.
Uh no HORSEsplaining is when a HORSE mansplains something, sorry to rain on your parade with my womansplaining
I just realized that my avatar is a pony so arguably I am raining on your parade with horsesplaining; everything comes full circle, everybody, we can all go home.
UHM ACTUALLY if a HORSE is MANsplaining then it is clearly CENTAURSPLAINING
Actually it’s about ethics in centaursplaining.
On the other hand, I imagine that after being shot by arrows, there are some illnesses that happen. Like sepsis.
you are always talking about sepsis, you’re obsessed with sepsis
obsepsis
obsessed-pis
obsepssed
I think this one got away from me
I spent some time this afternoon trying to find a horse and/or sepsis pun and just failing, so it’s not like reining this one in was a cinch.
REINING
CINCH
I love you
“Shot wihth arrows is a kind of sick”
“grievously bodily harmed,” maybe.
The British news media refer to someone as being “ill” in hospital, regardless of what brought them to that point. Someone who fell off a cliff and broken seventy-eight different bones would be described as being “critically ill”. Just because they invented the language, doesn’t mean they know how to use it right.
Well, “invented”. Is that how the British say “pilfered”?
Wait, what? What would you say? The North American use of “sick” to mean “unwell” is weird to me, but I didn’t realise we had a different usage for “ill” too!
In the US we use “ill” specifically to mean “suffering from an illness”, i.e., disease (regardless of severity, both a cold and cancer would qualify). We say “injured” if someone broke bones or got stabbed.
Hm! I guess the way we used it, the illness is secondary to the stabbing or trauma. Like, if you’re critically ill after being stabbed, people aren’t waiting for the whole wound to heal, they’re looking out for infection or swelling or all the things the body does or doesn’t do in response to the injury. I wouldn’t say ill if someone had a broken wrist but wasn’t in any other kind of danger.
I certainly wouldn’t call it well.
I mean, it’s pretty metal tho. Like, it’s…. FULLY sick #southaustralianjokes
Heaps good.
Acute iron overdose.
he’s certainly not WELL
Horses with jaundice?
(removed and replaced because the color seemed too bright in the original picture I posted.)
Jaundice seems to be the least of those horses’ problems. I’m having a hard time telling whether heads and butts are all in the places they should be.
These illustrations will be a big help. I always have trouble diagnosing pierced by arrows in my horses.
Well, it is awfully similar to “impaled by tiny spears.”
“Sick horses, dude”
I actually thought that might be what the post was about, but noooo, it’s just graphic depictions of obstructed horse bowels and whatnot.
Bye bye little Sebastian
What’s better than a candle in the wind? 10,000 candles in the wind
Too soon
I think we can all agree that Germanic horsies, no matter their particular complaints, have the best forelocks and tails, right?
I need to find out what product they use, cuz dang.
I’ve heard great things about Mähne und Schweif.
Those forelock curls!
Oh. So that’s what happened to Binky. I thought he had just gotten a couple of super nasty splinters. I never would’ve guessed it was actually arrows.
You learn something new every day.
I mean, maybe sometimes German horses get, like, Rigid Ribs or Bone Appendages or something, and you need to be able to tell the difference between that and arrows. I guess.
YOU’VE BEEN RIDING BINKY?
How can you tell the difference between “intestinal blockage horse” and “sassy horse” because I feel pretty strongly that that middle horse is both.
I think you’re supposed to check for glitter in the forelock.
I think all glitter checks are reserved for My Little Ponies.
It’s pretending to be sassy because it doesn’t want to bother you with its problems.
I was scrolling too fast and only sort of paying attention, so I thought that “intestinal blockage” went with the picture below rather than above. And, I mean, I guess arrows could block a horse’s intestines pretty effectively, but I was still sort of confused before I figured out my error.
glad it wasn’t just me…
But where is the illustration of a horse drowning in the swamp of sadness?
ARTAXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
DDDDDDDDDDD:
whyd you have to doooooooo thaaaaaaaaaat
Sorry, I’m still traumatized by that scene. I share that trauma inappropriately sometimes.
seared right into the old brain centre where all the feelings live. my mother had to take me out into the cinema lobby to calm me down.
GODDAMNIT.
When a horse has worms, and also no ankle bones.
Pretty sure those are the worms. It’s a horse-specific ailment where its ankles turn into worms. Different from your run-of-the-mill intestinal worms. That’s also why it’s on its back. It doesn’t want to squish the worms.
Everything about that is 100% reasonable.
When we look at the text in the picture closely, it says the horse is being *bitten* by worms. Clearly, they’re biting the horses legs and hooves, thus it’s on its back.
We were warned in riding lessons not to let an overheated horse gulp down water, lest it get colic and die. Being obviously a very intelligent child, I thought this applied to all species, and developed a phobia of drinking after exercise. Frankly, I’m still pretty skeptical of this whole bringing a water bottle to the gym thing. I mean, i still might achieve my life goal of becoming a pony, and I certainly wouldn’t want colic then.
My grandmother was ABSOLUTELY CONVINCED that gulping cold water when you were too hot would kill you. Hot tea is the thing to drink in hot weather.
This freaked me out, so I looked it up. According to Equus Magazine, “A hot horse needs to take in as much water as he wants to replace what he lost through sweating. And don’t worry about the temperature of the water. One myth that still crops up is the notion that letting a hot horse drink cold water will cause colic and muscle cramps. But there’s no scientific basis for that fear.” So go ahead and drink the water! 🙂
of course it’s hard to have intercourse over four bloody arrows
where are two monks when you need them
Monk 1: So, uh, about horses.
Monk 2: Yeah.
Monk 1: They’re prone to a lot of illnesses, right?
Monk 2: Nah. Only thing that can happen to them is worms, gut blockage, and being pierced by multiple arrows.
Monk 1: Ah. Alright then.
Are those really supposed to be arrows because they look more like spears.
The first two horses also look like they’re fake laughing at a lame joke you just told…
I was thinking they kind of look like they’re about to spew fire.
Are these really horses? I’m not convinced…
Mallory has never told a lame joke, I’m surprised the moderators allowed this comment.
The hose full of arrows looks awfully spry under the circumstances
The third picture is actually how Will Graham found the Clydesdale Ripper.
With my extensive and specific horse knowledge i can confirm that these are all common ailments that a responsible horse owner must be able to spot.
Wow, I must have blocked that (no pun intended). And I even re-read them all relatively recently. But no, no recollection of that.
No, but I remember George Orwell's "Shooting an Elephant"
"His body did not even jerk when the shots hit him, the tortured breathing continued without a pause. He was dying, very slowly and in great agony, but in some world remote from me where not even a bullet could damage him further."
WHY DID YOU SHOOT THE ELEPHANT GEORGE? WHY?
he's certainly not WELL