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Home: The Toast

Our beloved Jaya is about to start a fabulous new full-time job at The Daily Dot, and though we’re all overjoyed for her we already miss her VERY MUCH. (At least she went out with a bang.) WE LOVE YOU, JAYA.

Kendra James on what was expected of the Black kids at her fancy New England boarding school:

On this campus there is one very specific way to be Black. It is difficult to articulate exactly what we mean by this, but you might simply describe it as being “stereotypically” Black. If you’re not sure how to interpret this, please take your cues not from your Black peers, not from your family, community, or friends from home, but from the white students around you. They will be extremely helpful in letting you know what is expected of Black students on campus. They will remind you with words and sideways glances that you should sit there in the dining hall (at the Black table), you should only hang out with that group of friends (the Black ones), you should participate in this extracurricular activity (the Step Team, which you should help to establish immediately if there isn’t one), and you should only compete in that sport (Track and Field, of course).

I wrote a bit about money — specifically, growing up without it, having a partner with more of it, and how money-related fear can stay with you. (I promise it’s nothing like that Atlantic piece, which I only read after the fact.) (The comments on my post are also A+):

Some people note that my husband is the “optimist” and I’m the “pessimist,” and it’s true that I worry more and spend more time pondering frightening worst-case scenarios than he does. But when it comes to money matters, the “optimist vs. pessimist” framework is severely lacking. It makes it sound as though my money-related anxiety is nothing more than an unfortunate personality quirk, when in fact there’s an excellent reason why my husband generally believes things will work out, while I tend to imagine we are just one crisis away from financial ruin: he comes from a family for whom things do work out, and I do not.

While it’s been a source of frustration at times, I’m glad we are not much alike in this. I’m also glad he can talk me down when I’m most anxious — God knows we don’t both need to be wrecks over money, expecting the worst all the time. But I do envy him at times. I envy his faith that everything will be okay.

Yes, it was a rerun because Mallory was traveling/on WELL-EARNED vacation this week, but I love Dirtbag Winston Churchill.

Brook Shelley on the problems with trying to catch/turn away cis men at the door of LGBT-safe spaces.

Don’t miss Sarra Scherb’s beautiful reflection on her family, their Passover seder, and her place in both.

I am moving to the beach; goodbye.

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