Jen Melchert last wrote for The Toast about perfidy.

Things you will need:

* Electric clippers, full-size or of the "personal area" variety

* Mirrors, lots of them

* A lot of time. More than that. Like, eleven times as long as that.

* Absolute solitude

* 2-8 cups of tea, depending on how many times you repeat step 4

So you've seen pictures of Natalie Dormer

…

If you prick me, do I not bleed?

If I use the wrong shampoo, does not my hair become limp and fail to curl under just so?