Bewildered-looking baby,
I have wished you something
None of the hangers-on would:
Not the usual stuff
About being majestic,
Or the capacity to shake endless hands
With dignity and poise –
The Queen and Philip wish you that,
And should it prove possible,
Well, you’re a dutiful boy.
But if it shouldn’t, then
May you be delightful;
Have, like Hilarys (Mantel or Clinton),
A plethora of talents:
Not in taking feedback, not mutable,
But expertly suited
To pull them all off balance,
That you yourself
Might stop the rest from grimly persisting.
In fact, may you be difficult –
If that is what a brainy,
Bold, emotional,
Uninhibited, enthralled
Striving after happiness is called.
Previous installments of Nicole’s fake poetry can be found here and here.
Tags: nicole’s only semi-ironic attachment to the monarchy, poetry, royal baby, this is not by philip larkin it is a parody, this was so much better when I thought she was having a girl
Also, be a ginger, in order that Harry might feel less alone.
Harry is forever alone.
Well, he has seen some strange and eldritch things in the kingdom of Lost-Hope. Makes it hard on him to join in.
Also for maximum conspiracy-theoryness
I can only hope i will have my very own little ginger british baby. My husband is both, and my family loves saying how he looks like Prince Harry.
“May you be difficult -_ If that is what a brainy,_ Bold, emotional,_ Uninhibited, enthralled_ Striving after happiness is called.”__Oh that’s beautiful, Nicole. That is hitting me right in the feels today. I wish for myself to be difficult!
REMEMBER, the good parts are by Philip Larkin, who would have loathed this poem, and me.
Whoops…note to self – read the tags. And more poetry. Something else to add to my already impossibly long reading list…
Truth. HIs bitchiest = his best. My fave: http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/178056
I assume someone has already touched meteoric iron to the new prince? Can’t be too careful with Unseelies about. Plus it’s the full moon tonight which is just ASKING for some kind of trouble.
OH dear, I just realized that. That bodes well.
I kind of wish the royal baby turned out to be actually a corgi, that would be the cutest.
A corgi that they would dress up in little caps and shorty outfits would be the best.
I’m trying to imagine the Queen’s reaction to someone suggesting she dress up one of her corgis in little outfits. Something along the lines of a Laser Stare of Death that reduces the suggester to a small pile of ashes.
…and now I’m wishing there was a series of comic books about Queen Elizabeth, superhero, who runs around the world fighting for justice, decorum and little pot hats.
Let us hope they name it King Arthur so that he may return at last from leading the Wild Hunt and retake his rightful throne, eh, eh? Resorte out of fayrye and regne, already, Britain needs you.
I didn’t even make the connection of King Arthur. Even more hilarious is that Prince Charles wanted to name William, Arthur, but it is his middle name.
We can only hope that will be it.
Doesn’t Charles want to take Arthur as his king-name to sound cool and break the supposed curse? I’m not sure the curse counts if he hadn’t been known as Prince Arthur, but maybe publicising his intention is enough.
the funniest part about this for me is that I was like ohh it’s a boy, now Nicole’s baby can’t marry it-oh wait.
I will shortly begin grooming my 10-month-old to “marry up” per my mother’s instructions.
I can only hope i will have my very own little ginger british baby. My husband is both, and my family loves saying how he looks like Prince Harry.
I didn't even make the connection of King Arthur. Even more hilarious is that Prince Charles wanted to name William, Arthur, but it is his middle name.
We can only hope that will be it.
I totally have that magazine. Damn you, Nicole. I have become obsessed with Tatler now.
I totally have that magazine. Damn you, Nicole. I have become obsessed with Tatler now.
THE WEATHER. I need Mallory to write a post about how the storm over London last night was rich and strange and full-mooned- I’ve never seen an English storm like it. It must bode…something.
http://youtu.be/J-o0Dyt2voI