YOU GOTTA CLICK THROUGH, IT'S AN IMAGE, I can't just show you part of an image.

"The Least Sassy Girl in America, Pt. II" will run later today.

From a very young age, what I wanted most in the world was to be discovered by and taken in hand by an older, wiser, cooler, female mentor. My mother has always been very supportive and encouraging, which I now know is far from universal, but as much as I enjoyed and counted on her attention and praise, I also dismissed

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Before I start my science-story, let me tell you a little about myself. I’m working on my doctorate in evolutionary neuroscience at Emory University. My research focuses on the anatomical specializations in the human brain that support language and conceptual thought.

“But where’s her degree?!” I hear you folks asking. Don’t worry, guys – even if I am still in grad school, I am a legit serious scientist-lady. Like we’re

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"A woman living on a remote farm up the road from me allegedly shot, killed and dismembered two men who were working for her, then fed the pieces to her pigs." "In the last issue we had the wrong phone number for master woodworker Wilson Jolly. The correct one is 334-415-8445." "My pickup hit a deer and killed it [on our first date]. When this happened, I thought to myself, this is a make-or-break moment.

When you’re a pedant who loves magazines about beautiful plutocrats, you sometimes notice mistakes. Here is a sampling of such errors from Vanity Fair’s Hollywood issue and two recent issues of Tatler (The world's best magazine - Ed.)

Vanity Fair (March)

1. A discussion of Kim Kardashian’s ability to wear upscale clothes without having been given them for free by clothing companies refers to an item’s having been purchased by Kanye…

Guys, this is ridiculous. Come on, now. Moreover, when I am given the reins to the nation, there will be one kind of pad and one kind of tampon and they will be handed out by the goverment like your I Voted! stickers.

"With breathtaking views over the Los Angeles skyline, expansive landscaped gardens and a glistening pool, Rod Stewart and Penny Lancaster's residence is a haven of peace and tranquility." "The home resonates with laughter as two-year-old Aiden charges through the estate's opulently furnished rooms, giggling and calling after his statuesque mother." "She's one of the most down-to-earth stars around, but Gravity star Sandra Bullock was surely floating on air this week." "It's a 'once-in-a-lifetime' role, says…

...which I found in my building's laundry room next to a pair of red high-heeled shoes.

1. (Super) Zeaxanthin w/ Lutein & Meso-Zeaxanthin Plus Astaxanthin

2. Endothelial Defense w/ Glisodin® and CocoaGold

3. Sodzyme®; w/ Glisodin® and Wolfberry

4. (Mega) Silymarin with Isosilybin B

5. SlimSignals w/ Irvingia & Fucoxanthin

6. Cognitex w/ Pregnenolone & Neuroprotection Complex

7. Velvet Deer Antler

Previous installments in this series can be found here. "Emma Bloomberg, the foundation’s 34-year-old chief of staff, stands poised and seemingly unflappable in discreet jewels and one of the quietly elegant sleeveless sheath dresses she favors (the better to show her impressively CrossFit-toned arms)."

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"Spritz, dab, splash, roll. There are only so many ways to apply a fragrance – or so we thought."

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“'Emma and Chris are very…