Previous installments of This Week in Reading can be found here. Most recently: My Favourite Cookbooks: Part One.
The weirdly long ones that jut out past the edge of your shelf, but if you flip them over and stack other books on top of them, you won’t have room to put any books next to them anyway.
Books about the life of the author’s dog or cat which culminate in the death of the dog or cat and the lessons it taught the author and their family.
Books by women that have pastel ribbon belts on the cover because of the patriarchy, but only so they can be burned and re-issued with classy covers that reflect their stature as legitimate bildungsromans.
Books about the author’s decision to do something different for a whole year and how at first it was hard but then they kind of got into it and were almost sorry when the year ended but not really and now they still do that thing once a month for fun.
Books with “REMAINDER” stickers on them that will never give up their horrible residue, no matter how much time you spend idly digging at them with your fingernail.
The ones purchased in countries where the title on the spine is upside-down, so it looks like you shelved your books while drunk.
The ones you stole from an ex and no longer enjoy but do not want to return and feel bad giving away.
The ones where baby animals try to wake up their sleeping parents, but their parents are actually dead.
The used ones you buy online that don’t look like they have the movie tie-in cover, but then when they arrive, they have the movie tie-in cover, and then you look like you just heard about The Age of Innocence because you saw this old lady playing Spock’s mom and wanted to know what else she’d been in.
Books whose purchase cannot possibly be justified, but which you yearn to own.
Books you had and cherished in your house as a child which was apparently such a long time ago that they are now for sale as “Vintage and Market Finds.”
Tags: banned books, books, reading with nicole, this week in reading
Books you bought as a teenager because this pretentious older guy you liked said that The Fountainhead was his favorite book and you wanted to see what it was all about and OMG this isn’t a real novel this is pedantic crap and why did I hang onto this book for 10 years?
(I finally threw it away when I moved not long ago. Didn’t even donate it to Goodwill, just straight-up threw it in the trash.)
My favourite indie bookstore recently tweeted an Ayn Rand quote and my face was like D:
You should either find a new indie bookstore or calmly voice your disappointment and disapproval next time you go in.
I think we dated the same guy in high school. 🙁
Those books with the brittle wax spines that crack if you open the book all the way, leaving you to you try to shove hunks of pages back into the binding so you can shove the whole mess into the shelf because this was the only copy of that book you’ve been able to find and why the hell does anyone use lousy wax that doesn’t do what it is supposed to do, viz. hold the book together, honestly, what is that even, this is why publishing is in trouble, people would read except that their books are dandruffing key plot points all over the place.
Never feel bad giving away books, even if they’re from exes (especially if they’re from exes!). Isn’t that what libraries are for?
Those oversized books are good for the bottom book of floating bookshelves.
Books that are only about 250 pages, yet have 100+ chapters. [*Side-eye at James Patterson and Dan Brown*]
The books you bought for your “Asian-American Women Authors” undergrad course 10 years ago that are REALLY not good, but you drag from apartment to apartment because it’s important that books written by Asian-American women are published and that college courses are taught on this subject. Also just in case the recurring nightmare that you’re back in college and have to write a paper actually comes true.
See also books leftover from my “Women in Science” and “Existentialism in Film” courses. No, I will never again read Kierkegaard. No, I will never remove him from my bookshelves because it makes me look smart, goddammit.
See: all my tomes on modern Russian history.
Books you bought at the airport before a long flight that ended up sucking and left you nothing to do but read SkyMall for 7+ hours.
This is why I carry an absurd number of books, like more than clothes, when I travel. JUST IN CASE BECAUSE WHAT IF
Having a kindle changed my life. At least my packing.
Oh, I have a Kindle. But what if it breaks? What if it gets wet? What if I don’t have internet connection and hate the downloaded books?
too many what ifs. But it’s fine because other people play this game with shoes, right?
I just leave those books in hotel rooms and cafes on my travels. I wish there were drop boxes in airports where you could recycle airport books! “Leave a paperback, take a paperback”
I stayed at a hostel that had that. I ended up picking up Girls Like Us: Carole King, Joni Mitchell, Carly Simon–and the Journey of a Generation Paperback by Sheila Weller and it was incredible!
That book is so great, isn’t it? I bought it for my mom for Christmas the year it came out – because obviously – but read 2/3 of it before I got to Minnesota to give it to her. Then after she opened it I had to immediately take it back and finish it.
“Teen” Bibles filled with preachy condescending commentary about the evils of extramarital sex and the impossibility of evolution that are gifted (complete with personalized note in front) to liberal feminist biology majors. Who would toss it directly in the dumpster if they didn’t feel somewhat guilty about straight-up throwing out a Bible. (I finally cut out the front inscription page and gave it to a yard sale.)
I figure, if there is no God, all is permitted, and if there is a God, he is totally not gonna care if you recycle a Teen Bible.
The funny thing is, I almost wish I’d kept it now, if only for the occasional laugh/hateread.
When I left my former religion, my mom took all my old religious books. I love that I can revisit those cheap, pamphlet-style volumes from her bookshelf and laugh my ass off at the terrible “science,” especially “psychology,” in them.
There might be other reasons for (not) doing something than “Sky Fairy Says”.
I can’t think about the ribbon belt on Prep without having a rage stroke.
Cross Sugarman omggggg
I had the opportunity to ask Curtis Sittenfeld after The Man of My Dreams if her next book cover would have the same kind of font/design scheme as the first two. Her response was, “Oh, God! I hope not!”
Curtis Sittenfeld is my hero.
Similarly to the first, art books that are too tall for the shelf and require shuffling of your entire organizational system.
I’ve had to completely separate out all my art books, on to their own giant shelf. And then I brought this behemoth home http://www.assouline.com/9781614280057.html, and everything went to shit.
From experience working in a library: the 700s are the WORST SECTION to shelve. (art books)
I love art books so much more now that I don’t work in a bookstore!
This is what coffee tables are for!
Have you ever had to deal with a monstrosity like C G Jung’s “The Red Book?”
Books that are too heavy/too big to read in bed, because lazy noodle arms.
also thank you for teaching me a new word: bildungsromans
Every Tom Clancy book, with the sole possible exception of “The Hunt for Red October”. The movies can stay though.
ETA: Not because they are insufficiently highbrow- they’re like the guy equivalent of cheap romances, and everyone needs a little brain candy once in a while- but because after “Red October” he smeared his conservative agenda all over the stories and who needs that kind of bullshit, amirite? Also “Red October” was the only one I found readable.
try Clive Cussler! They are my go to vacation books.
Most excellent- thank you! I also need to give the Master and Commander series a try, I’ve heard they’re fun.
I mean they aren’t perfect AT ALL, but the Dirk Pitt series is just too fun http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dirk_Pitt
LOVE DIRK PITT.
Ah, Dirk of the green eyes and chiseled jaw and fancy-pants cars.
They are! I really liked them and once I got going I read the lot of them, but I will admit I haven’t been inspired to reread them. I found I got engrossed while I was in them and then forgot them quite quickly afterwards.
Books that are really three or four or five books by the same author bound in one enormous tome that doesn’t fit in your purse and even if it did, it would break your shoulder to try and carry it around all joined up like that and yes, I’m looking at you, Lord of the Rings. I love you, but you are three books, damnit, not one.
Yes, this! Also looking at Asimov’s The Foundation Trilogy. So good but SO HEAVY.
Ugh and then I face that dilemma when I enter it into Goodreads because I want credit for reading ALL THREE BOOKS. How am I gonna make it to my 52 goal if you keep counting single editions like that?!
I have several anthologies of plays and on more than one occasion, I have entered both the anthology and the separate play into Goodreads even when I read the play out of my copy of the anthology. They’re separate works! IT COUNTS. NO SHAME.
(Okay, very mild shame on my part. But they still ARE separate, it’s merely an accident of binding!)
“an accident of binding”
Delightful. I wish more problems in my life could be reduced to “an accident of binding.”
My husband gave me a big fancy volume that contains all 7 Austen novels, which is awesome, except that I can’t really read it anywhere but on my lap, on a couch.
If you can’t read a book in bed or in the bathtub, what’s the point??
Yes, ban these books for sure! If anything, I want all my books split into smaller tomes – I do most of my reading on my 30-minute subway commute, so I only really need to bring 60ish pages with me most days – and then if I was going on a longer trip I could just bring more volumes! Cryptonomicon, why you gotta be one giant brick?
Yeah, Neal Stephenson is kind of the worst for ENOURMOUS books. And they’re not even 3 books, its just one! That said, Anathem is definitely my favourite book, and I have successfully read it on the bus.
Oh my GOD that cover totally tricked me into reading Prep, and I sobbed and sobbed the whole way through and couldn’t put it down.
Is anyone else mad that they switched the order in which they categorize the Narnia series now? You’re supposed to read the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe first, not the Magician’s Nephew, Aslandammit
Really? I much prefer reading Magician’s Nephew first because in-universe chronology. What’s your order?
I think it’s just because I was introduced to them by order of publication–LWW, Prince Caspian, Dawn Treader, Silver Chair, Magician’s Nephew, Horse and His Boy, Last Battle. So I like the magic of discovering that country with Lucy, and then going back and reading about it’s origins later, I guess.
Horse and His Boy comes before Magician’s Nephew. It was (and is) my favorite – I loved the horses, I loved the Shasta-Aravis bickering, and I loved the idea that the entire book took place during LWW.
Oops, you’re right.
I read LWW first, then discovered Magician’s Nephew and felt OUTRAGEOUSLY TRICKED because that one had happened first! Why wasn’t it listed as number one in the series?? (I was a peculiarly linear child at times.)
Nowadays, I’d agree with you.
I have just googled it and apparently my childhood editions of these were the first time they were done in this order: http://inklingsfocus.com/en_GB/brit_1980.html
My understanding is that Lewis thought you should read Magician’s Nephew first and that’s why they are sold/bound/listed in the in-universe order. I think as an adult, the jumping back in time makes sense, but I think some kids would much prefer to read things in in-universe order
OMG me too! I hate The Magician’s Nephew! LWW is so much more inviting and it makes sense to discover Narnia with the main characters.
Books you loved as a 9-year-old that have been re-issued with covers that make them look like a generic YA teen romance when THAT IS NOT WHAT THEY ARE ABOUT (how could you do that to Tamora Pierce and her Alanna novels publishers HOW COULD YOU)
I don’t know what you mean, Jon and George totally spend the entirety of WWRLAM brooding at each other.
I ATTEMPTED TO EXPLAIN MY DISTRESS AND ANGER BUT I JUST DEGENERATED INTO THIS
GKH.JGHKUGAYHLIGHIOLFRAHJAFSNHKJDSZKHNJASFHJAASFDHNJ
Those editions are an abomination unto me, thus saith the Lord.
I need to replace my old versions of those books but I refuse to until I can be certain I won’t get those awful editions.
Tamora Pierce’s Wild Magic books have that problem too. I needed to replace my set and I bought ebooks just so I wouldn’t have to look at awful awful covers.
I shelve all my French books upside down. It hurts my sensibilities, but it’s the only thing way to cope with those backwards bindings.
Those drive me CRAZY! When I realized the French do that and what it meant for my bookshelf I was on board the Freedom Fries train, that’s for sure.
Ugh, “thing way.” Obviously I meant “sane way” but was too distracted by the idea of backwards bindings to write properly.
Heavy books, books whose spine breaks and the pages come out, cookbooks that suddenly call for 2cups sauce espagnole(see Page 455)
Oh god, when one ingredient has its own recipe. What am I a magician
The trick to removing sticker residue is lighter fluid. The kind that you use to refil “zippo” type lighters… http://amzn.com/B0017X1NGO
definitely! used to work in a bookstore and did this all the time, possibly sometimes to excess out of the sheer weird feeling of dousing BOOKS in LIGHTER FLUID.
Re: sticky residue: I recently discovered that a small amount of oil (cooking, baby, essential, probably not motor, but whatevs) on a soft cloth applied lightly in a circular motion to the sticker remnant brings that ish straight off! #gluehack
Also GOO GONE! Magical, magical stuff. I think it’s made with orange oil? Smells amazing, gets out grease stains, sticky residue, all problems ever. Will go out and find your ex’s phone and delete your number from their phone so they stop calling you.
Goo Gone is MAGIC.
Ones that start out as a legit novel with characters and motivations and then suddenly a murder happens and it’s all about whodunit for the rest of the book.
This is what coffee tables are for!
Yeah, Neal Stephenson is kind of the worst for ENOURMOUS books. And they're not even 3 books, its just one! That said, Anathem is definitely my favourite book, and I have successfully read it on the bus.
Goo Gone is MAGIC.
That's like, totally, like OMG! What is that guy, like illiterate or something reading that stuff? I'm all like, y'know, what up wit dat and stuff. Like, being all Indie doesn't mean thinking for yourself and reading what you like, there are rules about what to do and not do, like, duh!
Coauthored fiction.
Funfact, aka proof of my blindness regarding everything: I’ve been owning and reading both German and English books for years. Only recently I discovered that the title on the spine is indeed written in different directions.
I mean, I’ve always had this slight feeling that my shelves looked odd, but I was never able to pinpoint what exactly was wrong…