The Werewolf Trials

by Abigail Welhouse · October 30, 2013

The Werewolf Trials

Stretch me further.
Cut the black magic from my flesh.
The Devil’s given me a girdle,
and when I put it on, I howl.
Hide your goats and lambs.
Hide your succulent boys,
fattened by books and bacon.
I’ll eat your brain if I like it.

Placebo Button

Push and I’ll give you
the illusion of control

Abigail Welhouse is a poet, and her writing has appeared most recently in the Rumpus, the Heavy Feather Review, Keep This Bag Away From Children, nin, and Yes, Poetry. Please send photos of mini-horses to her on Twitter.

16 Comments

daisymap +4 October 31, 2013 2:36 pm

Nice! esp. Placebo Button. I must remember, poems are better shorter. Today at work we have been choosing a Halloween poem to put in the window of the shop, and I wish we’d seen The Werewolf Trials earlier in the day.

But where’s that succulent boys tag? C’mon.

abigailccny +7 October 31, 2013 2:50 pm

If my poems create a “succulent boys” tag on The Toast, my whole life is worthwhile.

Thanks for reading! Which Halloween poem did you pick for the shop window? I love “Witch-Wife” by Edna St. Vincent Milay: http://www.bartleby.com/131/15.html
1. daisymap +2 October 31, 2013 4:10 pm
  
  ARGH I SO TRIED for that one. We ended up with Shadwell Stair: http://www.poetryatlas.com/poetry/poem/360/
  1. abigailccny +2 October 31, 2013 4:19 pm
    
    That’s a classic spooky choice, but there’s no beating Edna. About anything, ever.

Abigail Welhouse October 31, 2013 2:50 pm

If my poems create a "succulent boys" tag on The Toast, my whole life is worthwhile.

Thanks for reading! Which Halloween poem did you pick for the shop window? I love "Witch-Wife" by Edna St. Vincent Milay: http://www.bartleby.com/131/15.html

hurdyburdy +8 October 31, 2013 2:58 pm

Hide your succulent boys,
fattened on books and bacon.

Thought 1: Yes yes yes, A+ line.
Thought 2: If someone doesn’t take “Fattened on books and bacon” as a username, I’ll be severely disappointed.

abigailccny +1 October 31, 2013 3:49 pm

Re: Thought 1: Thank you so much!

Re: Thought 2: Please let this happen. I would be SO proud.

meanchelled +5 October 31, 2013 3:02 pm

A) these are HILARIOUS. SO FUNNY.
B) My favorite part of Placebo Button is your cackling
C) The Devil’s given me a girdle,/and when I put it on, I howl. Is this already a paranormal adventure-romance…?
D) fattened on books and bacon. is basically the story written in my arteries so this REALLY speaks to me as a person.

abigailccny +6 October 31, 2013 3:53 pm

“Fattened on books and bacon” = SEMIAUTOBIOGRAPHICAL obviously

Also, you will not regret reading the Wikipedia page for Peter Stumpp.
1. meanchelled +1 October 31, 2013 5:42 pm
  
  girl what the hell did I just read
  
  I hope FOX makes peter stumpp its next primetime hit. like, all the political intrigue, maybe very ltitle or none, even of the super brutal murder?? oh god too many thoughts and feelings, all of them vaguely uncomfortable
  1. abigailccny +2 October 31, 2013 5:59 pm
    
    Ha ha, and then fans of the show would go back and read the Wikipedia page and realize it was ALL a lie.
    
    Or, HBO could do the series and make it SUPER brutal.
    
    Also, remember Unsolved Mysteries?!
    1. meanchelled +2 October 31, 2013 8:14 pm
      
      I can never forget unsolved mysteries and Robert Stack’s ultrasoothing voice. Unfortunately, I’ve forgotten ALL of the mysteries. oops.

Abigail Welhouse October 31, 2013 3:49 pm

Re: Thought 1: Thank you so much!

Re: Thought 2: Please let this happen. I would be SO proud.

Abigail Welhouse October 31, 2013 3:53 pm

"Fattened on books and bacon" = SEMIAUTOBIOGRAPHICAL obviously

Also, you will not regret reading the Wikipedia page for Peter Stumpp.

Abigail Welhouse October 31, 2013 4:19 pm

That's a classic spooky choice, but there's no beating Edna. About anything, ever.

Abigail Welhouse October 31, 2013 5:59 pm

Ha ha, and then fans of the show would go back and read the Wikipedia page and realize it was ALL a lie.

Or, HBO could do the series and make it SUPER brutal.

Also, remember Unsolved Mysteries?!