Subliminal Product Placement on My Netflix Queue

by Nancy Holochwost · March 27, 2014

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The Killing

1. Gore-Tex

2. sun lamps

3. brass knuckles

4. family therapy

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Lost Girl

1. push-up bras

2. hair mascara

3. elderberry juice

4. lenient censors

5. Canadian citizenship

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Inspector Lewis

1. temperate summers

2. dry cleaning

3. aging in place

4. tenure

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Call the Midwife

1. condoms

2. diaphragms

3. vasectomies

4. the Pill

5. abstinence, just to make really damn sure


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47 Comments

  1. anninyn +9

    Lost Girl has also sucessfully guided me back to my younger-goth days via my lust for Kenzie/Kenzies outfits.

  3. aravisthequeen +26

    Also for Call The Midwife: nitrous oxide in a travel case, super cute hair, fetching yet modest skirts with pleats, an accent.

    1. cuminafterall +14

      Also vintage copies of Photoplay, charming tins to keep cakes in, a sturdy yet attractive bicycle, the ability to look cute in a pillbox hat

  4. Girl Named Jack +22

    I’ve been looking for a proper place on the Toast to proclaim my love of Laurence Fox, specifically on Inspector Lewis. Is this it? Do I have a green light?

        1. beatrizcentury +9

          He is one of the only twittering actors I quite love. And he’s Mr. Billie Piper. And I don’t care they just seem really rad, like I wanna go get knackered on whiskey with them and wear sunglasses.

          I mean LOZZA. COME ON.

      1. spiffygrits +7

        A total dreamboat. And I am so so happy someone used the phrase “tall drink of water,” because that is a great phrase.

    4. dakimel +22

      Because, right, sometimes he just… gives Lewis this look, you know? And it speaks volumes and the volumes are all about love and respect and tolerance and humor and gentle sarcasm and brains and then love again?

      And then my heart melts.

  6. Fluffernutter +24

    House of Cards:

    1) Rowing machine
    2) Ann Taylor Loft skirt suits
    3) Blind ambition
    4) A car so I never have to take the DC Metro ever fucking again OMG

    1. ArsenioB_Ham +20

      5) A brand new iPhone5S that you don’t even keep in a case because you’re rich and powerful enough to break a thousand iPhone5Ses and pay full retail price to replace each one/have the American taxpayers buy you new ones.

    2. leider_hosen +2

      (I don’t watch House of Cards (SORRY, I KNOW), but I spend a lot of time on the DC metro, would you elaborate on #4?)

      1. cuminafterall +10

        I’m always hesitant to post spoilers online, but if you ever spend time on the platform at Columbia Heights, go take a look at the CAUTION signs on the blue partitions around the disabled escalator. There, graffitied in Sharpie, you will find the answers you seek.

        1. mamacitaconpistoles +2

          Indirect spoiler ahead…

          State of Play (2006, with John Sim), started with much the same metro issues. If you are any kind of young attractive political underling working for an ambitious candidate, just… just don’t take public transit, ever.

      2. Fluffernutter +2

        So as not to spoil the fun for those who have not seen it, HERE is an article that explains what happened on the show. Certainly (hopefully) not any kind of threat that regular metro riders need to worry about!

  7. cuminafterall +10

    Prime Suspect:

    1) Whiskey
    2) Helen Mirren’s outerwear
    3) Helen Mirren’s face
    4) Better eyesight so I never have to go to the optometrist ever ever ever again (this one specific to Series 6)

    1. mamacitaconpistoles +1

      Oh. my. god. Yes to never needing to see an optometrist, if optometrists are like the one is series 6.

  9. citizenchristy +22

    Archer:

    Black turtlenecks
    “Phrasing!”
    High functioning alcoholism
    No defined time period

    1. nightsstar +2

      Is that good (/not racist)? I couldn’t get passed the first 20 minutes of the first episode.

      1. tjdubya +3

        Karl Pilkington abroad was seriously out of his comfort zone, like seriously white guy out of comfort zone. I think some people interpreted his reactions as racist-imperialist etc. I kinda thought that despite all of the whining and complaining he seemed to make an honest go of the wonky situations Ricky Gervais put him in. And he seemed only able to relate to people in a sincere way instead of in that white guilt overly nice smile with mouth closed kind of way.

        I’m with you on the first episode btw-rough! Obviously there’s a learning curve when traveling with Ricky Gervais’s agenda in tow.

  11. leider_hosen +15

    Friday Night Lights:

    1. Tickets to the sports event of muscled men of your choosing
    2. Gym membership
    3. Whatever shitty beer Tim Riggins drinks
    4. Haircare products (CONNIE!!!)
    5. Higher education

  12. vmartinipie +12

    Battlestar Galactica:

    –Free weights
    –Nameless whiskey and cigars
    –An acquired ability to have a light sheen of sweat but still look sexy, not gross
    –Gray muscle tanks

  13. Spam Rove +3

    The Colbert Report

    – kittens
    – anthropomorphized canned ham
    – monkeys (on the lam)
    – unfortunate civility toward Henry Kissinger

  14. niamhlovesbooks +4

    My mother’s fondness for watching Lewis is exceeded only by her fondness for watching Morse. Since we got ITV3 on satellite, she complains bitterly that they keep showing “repeats”. Well, yes, Mother, it’s a digital channel, they live off repeats. It’s not that she minds watching repeats of shows, apparently. She just minds remembering what happened. *facepalm*
    In other news, I am never moving to Oxford – I value my life too much. There are far too many serial killers lurking about with a penchant for riddles/crossword/opera or similar.

    1. mamacitaconpistoles +7

      It’s a wonder there are any PhD educated people left in Britain, given the number of professors that get knocked off in that show.

      1. niamhlovesbooks +3

        If it happened anywhere else, it would be much easier to find the killers based on their clever word plays and literary allusions… but no, Lewis just happens to work in the shadow of one of the most prestigious universities in the world! And his wife died. Harsh!