On Previously.TV: Firefly Theme Remixes. YACHT ROCK.
*
Saw Captain America 2 last night!
1. I have to work out TWICE AS HARD NOW.
2. Cobie is perfect.
*
One Game of Thrones spoiler to discuss: Jaime Lannister’s new, butcher hair. How are we feeling about it? I usually really, really like men to have butch hair, but I’m feeling a sense of loss. I suspect I will ultimately come to prefer it in time?
*
Oh. Okay, that’s why finding the plane is so difficult.
*
Turduckens are for pussies:
His recipe calls for a bustard stuffed with a turkey stuffed with a goose stuffed with a pheasant stuffed with a chicken stuffed with a duck stuffed with a guinea fowl stuffed with a teal stuffed with a woodcock stuffed with a partridge stuffed with a plover stuffed with a lapwing stuffed with a quail stuffed with a thrush stuffed with a lark stuffed with an ortolan bunting stuffed with a garden warbler stuffed with an olive stuffed with an anchovy stuffed with a single caper, with layers of Lucca chestnuts, force meat and bread stuffing between each bird, stewed in a hermetically sealed pot in a bath of onion, clove, carrots, chopped ham, celery, thyme, parsley, mignonette, salted pork fat, salt, pepper, coriander, garlic, and “other spices,” and slowly cooked over a fire for at least 24 hours.
*
A bunch of screenshots of Yul Brynner:
*
a) I love Veep
b) I would do this if any magazine showed any interest whatsoever
*
AMAZING piece in Grantland by Rembert Browne about television, blackness, and being “non-threatening”:
It’s clear, regardless of how it’s used or who the user is, that this idea of being “nonthreatening” or “safe” has historically been linked to the idea of “how black you are.” Which becomes even more complicated when you consider the relationship between one’s blackness, one’s nonthreatening-ness, and one’s success in television. It’s something that has followed Brady for his entire career, especially as he continues to find roles that keep him on daytime TV. The idea that he’s safe to put out there. That he’s a “safe black,” if you will. Or, to take it a step further, that he’s not black. He’s just Wayne Brady.
*
A different site had an embarrassing entry in Scratch Magazine’s Who Pays Writers. Check Mallory’s Twitter from yesterday afternoon if you have 40 minutes to laugh about it. Oh, and then donate to us instead. Did you know we will COMMISSION pieces on your behalf?
*
Maggie Shipstead writes beautifully about the Time Passes portion of To the Lighthouse, which, if you do not like it, THERE’S THE DOOR.
*
We haven’t talked about the Anita Hill documentary! Here’s a review by Ren Jender, and I’d love to hear your thoughts as well.
*
Tags: feminism, link roundup, the internet
That article and infographic (which I have to say is one of the very few actually-useful infographics that actually visually makes information easier to see, rather than just looking pretty) is strikingly poignant.
I think the plane will never be recovered.
that infographic is INCREDIBLE and SO SCARY AGHHH!!! THREE MILES OF COLD DARK WATER FULL OF MONSTERS AND SHIPWRECKS!!!!!!
SO DEEP.
thats what she said – BOOM!
asfjkfsd I knowwww. I hate watching deep-sea video for that reason – I’m always afraid a long-dead human body is going to float into the frame, even though it obviously isn’t because it’s an IMAX movie or something – and even that infographic, which contains no photography whatsoever, was starting to make me anxious only halfway down.
I was getting anxious at the very top :(((
I know that the maximum dive depths of various whales and squids were added for general context, but it’s hard for me to not read it as “and that’s why we can’t just send a Cuvier’s beaked whale down to look for the plane.”
Duct tape a flashlight and webcam to it’s head! You’re all set!
This is why the GoPro exists, yes?
I am getting incredibly provincial these days because what struck me is how that infographic overlooks the fact that Chicago had the tallest building from 1973 to 2004 (I mean, disputes, whatever, still).
Hooray for actually-useful infographics! (Man, I want a career in data visualization design. If only more people paid for that than a handful of news organizations.)
I also immediately had to go revisit the xkcd on ocean depths: http://xkcd.com/1040/large/
I’ve gotten to the second line in that Firefly remix and I am laughing hysterically already. Not expecting to stop.
In regards to yesterday’s link roundup and Alberta’s rat-free status, BEHOLD: http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/several-rat…
NO NO NO NO NO.
I thought I was safe.
Ha! I knew it! I’ve always known it had to be a lie! (I’ve lived in both SK and BC, and since those two provinces are decidedly full of rats, I figured that AB had to have a few.)
I’m afraid to say that I’m unequivocally into Jamie’s hair.
Yuuuuuppp.
You can see his jaw so much more clearly. Mmm.
Yep. I thought I loved the long hair, but it turns out this is even better.
Yup. My roommate and I have arguments about who wants to have sex with him more. I’ve always said “Have him take a shower first and we’re good,” to which she counters “I’ll have sex with him before and in the shower, then you can have him” … but I think he’s all mine now, especially with the short hair.
(We have been told that watching GoT with us is highly entertaining.)
I am so, SO into his hair. That is a Hot Dad haircut right there. Plus, in that screencap he’s wearing the Westeros equivalent of the soft gray t-shirt Hot Dads wear when they mow the lawn.
Where do all the Hot Dads get those soft grey t-shirts??
Oh God, sometimes I worry that I’ll never love anything the way I love the Charlton Heston “Ten Commandments.”
Always watch The 10 Commandments around Passover time… I will watch out for each of these moments this time 😀
Inspiration for a Capt. America workout or just a little something to jumpstart your day: That video of LSU gymnast Lloimincia Hall’s perfect 10 floor routine that’s been going viral.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GsrJ1jJuhjI
Beautiful, moving, and badass all at once.
Thank you. She rocked out and had the best time.
Not that I cry EVERY SINGLE TIME I watch or anything.
Two thoughts:
At some point during GoT, I told Mr. Citizen that Jaime is way hotter when he’s filthy and unshaven and long-haired than he is now. Anti-this hair, man.
Secondly, I would be remiss if I didn’t tell everyone to watch Yacht Rock right meow: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNTARSM-Fjc&l… It’s really funny even if you don’t care much about Kenny Loggins or Michael McDonald. (Which you should.)
yes, I definitely miss Jaime’s flippy hair and scraggly beard, even when he looked like an old wet dog.
Not digging the hair. He sort of looks like he should be starring in a Westerosi Foldgers commercial.
I LOVED HIS OLD HAIR. This is it, I was wavering about watching Game of Thrones but now IT IS DEAD TO ME.
Yeah, I hate it. I feel like it’s… too modern-looking? I don’t know.
Agreed! I told my partner, “he just looks like some douchebag bro is sitting there hitting on a medieval lady”
The costume in that screenshot isn’t helping. Like, yes, if you zoom in far enough, you can see some little pirate-shirt laces around the collar, but basically he just looks like he’s wearing a long-sleeved tee.
…this Folgers commercial?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5Ir6CzxKl4
Exactly the one I was thinking of.
Is this the place where I can say I know the human desk?
WHAT!!?! MORE INFO NEEDED.
I interned for her right out of college, and she’s actually incredibly smart and accomplished and I have no doubt she’s doing great work, but I CANNOT bring myself to read that site. And it was just baffling to see her joke about being a human desk on social media while I sat there and was like “BUT THE IMPLICATIONS!!!!”
wait, i thought the human desk was bryan goldberg, but I guess he was just the MAN DESK. Which human desk are we talking about??
The girl Bryan Goldberg is resting his laptop on in that New Yorker photo!
oh, howwwwww did I miss that. CRAZY! you should recruit her for the toast.
I hope she makes a million dollars a day.
So how feasible would the roti sans pareil be if we just switched out the endangered species for something else? Because I would like to go to there.
I was sort of digging the large-mammal creations. How long do you think it would take to roast a chicken inside a duck inside a goose inside a pig inside a sheep inside a cow? Would the beef be overdone by the time the chicken reached 170F?
Winter Soldier discussion thread here.
… Anyone else have some dirty thoughts about that metal arm?
I only find Sebastian Stan attractive when he looks like a hipstery dirtbag (Political Animals is wonderful), but I have so many emotions about that movie.
I came away from that movie thinking “I’m bored with seeing giant things crashing into other giant things. Let’s see a movie about Captain America living day to day life and visiting Peggy and looking at the Internet.”
THIS THIS THIS ALL OF THIS.
Damon Lindelof did an interview last year where he talked about Story Gravity — the idea that if you’re spending all this money on a superhero movie, you HAVE to save the world. That was all I could think about towards the end of this movie — I want less giant explosions and more of Cap and Natasha being friends.
ALL the Marvel movies have this problem where it has to become this 4th act smash em up and it DRAGS the story to halt and everyone in the audience is going NO CAN WE GET BACK TO THEM LIKE, HANGING OUT? WE KNOW THEY WIN OKAY THERE’S NO NEED TO SEE THIS.
I will pay FULL MANHATTAN MOVIE TICKET PRICE for two hours of Cap trying to use a printer.
I would love that. Hell, I would write that!
Why are we not talking about the fact that Steve has seen Wargames?
Does he have a Netflix account?
I like to imagine that the rest of the Avengers organize regular Let’s Get Cap And Thor Up To Speed On Pop Culture nights.
Naw, they’re not nearly as buddy buddy as fic likes to put them. I’m sure some poor SHIELD intern compiled a list of movies that might be useful and Steve is just sitting alone in his DC apartment, staring at it going “well this one has computers in it and that seems like something I should know about…”
Can he at least have Falcon over?
Falcon and Natasha taking the piss out of him.
ME TOO. Marvel needs to release a series just about Captain America dealing with the 21st century:
Captain America eating Thai food, Captain America using Tumblr, Captain America watching rom coms, Captain America reading He’s Not That Into You, Captain America trying to vote for Bill de Blasio…. There obviously needs to AT LEAST be fic of this.
I loved that he randomly knew WarGames. How?? Maybe he does have a Netflix account and watched all the “war” movies.
Captain America is not to be allowed anywhere NEAR tumblr. For his sake.
(i may or may not have written this.)
Lady/sir, you must share!! Heck, there should be a Toast post about this! Also, now I’m going to spend the next few weeks writing random drabbles about this, haha.
And au contraire, I think Tumblr would bring him up to speed the quickest.
*cough*
http://archiveofourown.org/works/466404
There’s a lot of other stuff happening but at one point someone takes Safe Search off Steve’s search results and he has to close the computer VERY quickly.
I was sobbing when Peggy
Really I couldn’t handle any of the Peggy
I still cannot speak about it
Oh god I cried so hard. I wish they could’ve included more of her and Steve, and spent some more time showing him trying to deal with seeing her like that, but I was really glad that they included it at all. It was sweet and sad and poignant. She’s still his best girl *cries* (though I wanna know who her husband was…)
Oh man I am so emotionally wrecked by every second of him visiting her idk if I could have handled any more of that ;o;
Yeah, that and the “I knew him” scenes were gut-punches I was not expecting. Stupid action movie, making me feel things.
The connection between that and Peggy and the fact that Steve then has to fight him is so terrible.
It made me SO UPSET and then I wrote fic about it and it made me feel EVEN WORSE. God. PEGGY!!!!!
Peggy! That was awful.
Also, I really just want them to find Bucky in the first five minutes of the third movie then they all go on a road trip and deal with their intense emotional trauma.
Did you see that tumblr post that says and I quote
“if cap3 isn’t called “captain america and falcon: we’re up all night to get bucky”, i’m not watching it”
because I laughed probably too much about that
Ha! I did, and I want that movie to exist so hard.
That completely cracked my shit up. I saw it at like 2:00 am and had to stifle myself hard to keep from waking my roommate up. Now I know I’m gonna be slightly disappointed with the title of Cap 3 no matter what it ends up being.
I probably will on the second viewing! (First viewing is for emotions. Subsequent viewings are for lust/actually paying attention to the plot/etc.)
I said this in the cocktail hour thread the other day, but I am MAD attracted to Sebastian Stan with the stubbly long-haired dirtbag look (and all the angsty jaw-clenching). Was also having lots of slashy feelings during the scene with him and Cap in the helicarrier where Cap is trying to save him and then WS drags him out of the river. Now desperately wanting a Winter Soldier movie that’s just about him finding himself with interludes of Steve and Sam trying to find him. So much manly angst and bro-feelings….
Yes. All of this, yes. I’m not really attracted to Sebastian Stan outside of this movie. Apparently long-haired dirtbag plus too much eye makeup plus metal arm equals pants on fire.
The metal arm was surprisingly sexy, wasn’t it? The way he used it to do things the rest of his human body couldn’t do was…phew. And all I can say is if more dudes knew about the sexy-fying power of guyliner, I would be in trouble.
Verbatim conversation with my husband, post-movie:
Him: They really did some cool stuff with that metal arm.
Me: I bet it vibrates.
And then he laughed at me for a few minutes.
That particular headcanon worked its way into a few fics, and I LOVE it.
I was just thinking this morning about what an interesting feminine beauty there was the Winter Soldier. He’s graceful. He has long wavy locks and a pouty mouth. He blows shit up by gently rolling a pretty silver ball.
I like it.
But for me nothing can top the moment when we first see Falcon flying. Flying superheroes can be so cheesy but you can see that it’s a feat of heroic athleticism when Falcon does it.
Also: agreeing with Nicole. The first workout after seeing Captain America is so bittersweet.
The entire audience burst into applause when he came swooping up over that rooftop at my showing. It was lovely.
Seeing Falcon flying was just so fantastic. Sam is seriously my new favorite character (imagine what an awesome friend he must be!), but the flying especially was just…lovely.
OMG the Falcon flying DID THINGS TO ME. Rarr.
Me too. It was one of those moments when I felt really embarrassed to be sitting with a group of people in public because the way I felt was very. . . private.
GIRL, YOU KNOW MY TUMBLR NAME.
(tm me)
STEEEEEEEEEEVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
:ugly crying:
I enjoy the fact that this is a big action movie that hinges entirely on Steve’s exquisitely sad face.
HIS SUPERPOWER IS LOOKING AT PEOPLE LIKE A SAD LABRADOR PUPPY UNTIL THEY REALIZE THEY NEED TO DO THE RIGHT THING.
SO MUCH THIS. I spent a LOT of time fixating on his lower lip.
I wish I’d seen it in 3D just for those eyelashes.
God this movie. There really needed to be less action in it, because they fight so many people, for so long, it got boring. The best fight sequences were with Black Widow, though, she’s mesmerizing to watch. And Falcon was beautiful, of course.
I cannot stop talking to everyone about how much I loved the action in this one. Winter Soldier LITERALLY pulls the steering wheel out of the moving vehicle!?!!! My brain can’t understand how they came up with that.
Sometimes I just like to watch muscley men beat the crap out of each other not for real, and this movie delivered better than any other that I can remember.
That was fantastic. That was the Legolas Barrel Pirouette of this movie (all movies need a stunningly ridiculous moment in the middle of an action scene that you just accept because it’s so great).
One of my favorite passages in all of literature is also from To The Lighthouse, but it isn’t the one mentioned in the Atlantic article. It’s the passage about intellectual pursuit and piano keys and it has stuck with me ever since reading To The Lighthouse. I remember that passage, and I remember loving reading the book. But I remember absolutely nothing about that book, plot-wise.
Was there a plot?
I can’t decide what I want more: More Firefly theme song remixes, or more theme songs remixed in the style of yacht rock?
There will be more! Another in a different style tomorrow morning, and more next week!
They are going to do at least 3 more remixes (one is on the Extra Hot Great full-length podcast from this week, right around 38 minutes, and it is SUPERB.) (It’s POLKA.)
POLKA
The polka one is AMAZING. I’m going to alternate between these two all day, I think.
Firefly remix master Adam Blau should marry Summer Glau so they can hyphenate.
One of the tweets on Mallory linked to a New Yorker article on Bustle – here’s a terrrrrrible quote from the founder:
“I am a dude,” he said. “I don’t have a lot of overlapping interests with most women my age. I’m really into history. I’m really into markets and finance.” Grrrrrr. Off to donate to the Toast.
Yeah that quote made me grind my teeth too. I majored in history in undergrad and my senior thesis writing group was 100% badass women writing about Russian and Soviet history and civil society, free speech, memory, international politics, human rights, and national identity. Apparently those interests are reserved for men.
I was irritated enough to look up the gender breakdowns of college majors (obviously majoring in something is not the only way to be interested in it but this had piqued my curiosity) and in 2008 49% of business majors were women and 49.3% of history/social science majors were women, according to a Forbes article on some US Dept of Education stats.
In short, my eyes are rolling so hard I’ve seen my brain a couple times.
“I am a dude,” he said. “I don’t have a lot of overlapping interests with most women my age. I am a dude. I’m really into history. I am a dude. I’m really into markets and finance.”
“I am a dude.”
“I am a dude,” he said. “I don’t have a lot of overlapping interests with most women my age. I’m really into dude history. I’m really into dude markets and dude finance.”
Dude.
Blech. Super blech. All the blech.
To be fair(ish), he’s equally oblivious of other dudes. None of them read books, you know. Ever.
As I was scrolling down that WaPo infographic I will admit I started to feel queasy and I’m not normally one for sea-sickness. It’s the same sort of queasy I get watching Cosmos and realizing just how teeny tiny insignificant I am in the grand scheme of everything.
Or, to reference my childhood and pay homage to the recently departed at the same time, may I recite the chorus of “Great Big Universe” from the Animaniacs for you? Yes, I think I shall. Ahem.
It’s a great big universe
And we’re all really puny
We’re just tiny little specks
About the size of Mickey Rooney.
It’s big and black and inky
And we are small and dinky
It’s a big universe and we’re not.
Or from Monty Python (the last line goes through my head frequently):
“Our universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding,
In all of the directions it can whiz;
As fast as it can go, that’s the speed of light, you know,
Twelve million miles a minute and that’s the fastest speed there is.
So remember, when you’re feeling very small and insecure,
How amazingly unlikely is your birth;
And pray that there’s intelligent life somewhere out in space,
‘Cause there’s bugger all down here on Earth!”
Throwing out all my reaction images and just using Yul Brynner in The Ten Commandments forever more. All emotions are contained within them, ALL.
CAPTAIN AMERICA.
1. I managed to do _six_ pullups in a row the day after that film. I will GET THIS yet.
2. I have already publicly joked about this, but Falcon appears to keep a flat-iron and fresh dye just in case of super-spy.
3. Black Widow and Cap are BROS! It is great.
4. Cobie Smulders.
5. Captain America’s butt shots (fifteen) have at least two populated tumblrs all to themselves. http://captain-americas-butt.tumblr.com/ http://captainamericasamazingass.tumblr.com/
Bro Cap/Widow and ston-cold badass Maria Hill have all of my love.
DAT ASS
I noticed during the movie that there were at least as many butt shots of Cap as of Black Widow, and that equal-opportunity butt-gazing made me happy.
I TAKE BRYAN GOLDBERG’S MEDIOCRITY AND LACK OF VISION AS A PERSONAL INSULT
All I’m going to say about GoT is that if you have a tv show with a cast that’s roughly the size of the population of North America you can’t go changing people’s faces and clothes all the time. I couldn’t recognize Generically Handsome White Dude #5823 as Jaime until he started waving his hand-stump around.
I keep forgetting that I’ve already thumbs-upped this comment and trying to do it again.
I can’t believe that we are sitting here talking about Jaime’s hair while TORMUND’S BEARD goes undiscussed. I would watch an epic series just about that beard. It has seen things.
All I want to do is talk about Jaime waving his hand.
Also, the episode was great with Oberyn and SANSA being sad and perfect and Olenna and Brienne and Arya and the Hound, and I’m very excited for this season
If I had any talent, I would be able to intercut this gif with one of Lucille Bluth saying that she put Buster’s hand in the dishwasher after she and Oscar were “doing something” with it.
Unequivocally FOR the Jaime hair as his previous, ubiquitous “greasy mid-90’s-style shoulder length” men’s hairstyle is my most hated thing about faux-medieval shows/movies.
In the books he shaves his head and keeps the beard, which I wish was the case in the show. Beards for all!
I am terrified of infinity (which is apeirophobia apparently, thanks high school Ancient Greek!!!), so things like space or the friggin’ ocean- which should NOT BE ALLOWED to be so deep- scare me, but also living forever.
Preach. That fear (which I never thought to look up the name of, thanks!) caused me to give up religion, along with some other factors.
Oh, I like that there’s a word for that. Just contemplating space and the universe and everything used to freak me the fuck out as a kid. There’s just SO MUCH, how can anybody take it?
VEEP! Veep is amazing.
“Jonah Ryan, 2026!”
“That’s a midterm year.”
“I’LL CHANGE IT.”
Also, “bag of wrist-slits.”
I love Veep! I didn’t think the season premiere was its best but that was definitely a great scene.
re: Jaime Lannister my fantasy bf, his hair wasn’t even this short in pre-captivity season 1! JAIME IT WAS YOUR ONE (of many) BEAUTY!
Nobody has anything to say about my dreamboat Yul Brynner? Fine, MORE FOR ME. (Did you know he was a circus star? God, amazing.) I need a time machine.
Also I had a dream something I wrote ended up on the Toast and I was so confused because I was like, how is Nicole stealing my things? Did I get paid? When did I write this? OMENS ALL. And by omens I mean my brain is just running away from finishing the layouts on my Master’s thesis.
I have updated my Easter dinner plans to include playing this movie (with low or no volume) in the background while cooking/socializing with early arrivers. Because, of course, shoulders.
Nikolaj Coster-Waldau is way too hot to have any hairstyle be a dealbreaker.
He has such a great name. It sounds like an exotic castle. Saying it outloud just makes me happy..
He was in a movie with Mads Mikkelsen. The titles must have taken up half the screen.
Oh man, that Maggie Shipstead piece… brb going to re-evaluate my life (among other things, not having used my precious time on this earth to hone the craft of writing like Maggie Shipstead has.)
Me too. It was one of those moments when I felt really embarrassed to be sitting with a group of people in public because the way I felt was very. . . private.