This picture of Chicago, guys. NO. That’s not right:
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FINALLY, a guide to Trailer Park Boys, which Big Awl Media has refused to cover sufficiently for YEARS. “Smokes, let’s go!”
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YEP, the left lane is for passing, get outtttttt of it once you’ve passed, says the woman who only learned to drive a few years ago but is now awesome at it.
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Our own Jaya Saxena and Matt Lubchansky will be exhibiting at the MoCCA Arts Fest on April 6th and 7th in New York City, and I wish I could go, so you have to go instead! THEY WILL BE SELLING STREET HARASSMENT PRINTS.
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Did you miss your chance to read my high-concept Benedict Cumberbatch fan fiction and share it on all variants of social media? Here it is again!
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The return of Rabinovich! Also, an excellent opportunity to discuss how singular Russian humour is, perhaps. I think it is equalled in opacity only by French humour, which is so tied to language that you can be almost completely fluent and still miss 60% of it.
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I found myself completely transfixed by the objects in Bunny Mellon’s will, including:
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Samuel L. Jackson’s Boy Meets World slam poetry.
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Oh, you guys, they dug through the ashes to find the firefighter’s wedding ring for his widow. Christ. FIREFIGHTERS, man. That’s a real damn job.
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Tags: feminism, link roundup, the internet
The firefighter’s widow article is making me SO EMOTIONAL
SAME. Crying at my desk here.
Oh, augh, me too. I clicked through to the article about the funeral and that was a mistake to do at work.
I’m so so glad they found that ring for her, though.
Oh man, it is heartbreaking. All around Boston right now, flags are at half-staff, businesses and public buildings have signs up supporting the firefighters, and there’s a huge memorial at the fire station nearest the blaze.
Last weekend I was driving behind a dirty truck, on which someone had written in the dust “God Bless BFD” and I almost lost it.
THAT DRIVING ARTICLE MY GOD. The things he says about the autobahn seem like a FAIRY TALE to me because I live and commute daily in Atlanta where apparently the rule of the road is “get on and deal with it” because people don’t seem to think there’s any difference between lanes. Left tends to go faster than right more because right has people getting on/off exits and not because of flow. Parts of the highway here are 8 lanes across in one direction and they all move at generally the same rate with all kinds of nonsense going on. I’ve seen people brushing hair, doing makeup, clearly texting… I once saw a guy with state senator plates reading the newspaper on his steering wheel. It’s legitimately terrifying how many people seem to think driving is a secondary action to their primary of using their car as an office or bathroom.
Also the worst is that the driving culture around here leads people who pay even the slightest bit of attention to the cars around them to go around talking about how they’re the best driver in the world, when really it’s more like “I’m just a hair less irresponsible than the people around me.” I know more than one person who will text while driving, faff around on their iPod while seeking the exact song they want, read their twitter feeds while in traffic, and they swerve in and out of lanes and nearly get into accidents but they just CANNOT SEE that their own behavior is no better than that of the people they are deriding. I know one person at least who will check twitter and then get called on it by her passenger and excuse this behavior with “I’m a good multitasker, it’s OK.”
I try to leave my phone in my purse so that the siren call of the screen flashing up with an update can’t even distract me. I’ll admit to the occasional red-light scramble for the camera if I see a good license plate, but I just can’t imagine myself doing anything on my phone while my car is moving and expecting it to end well.
Is this a good thread for crazy driving stories? Because I once saw an albino boa constrictor hanging out of a car window on the Kennedy expressway in Chicago and I still can’t believe it even though I have pictures (don’t worry; I was the passenger).
Whaaaaaa!
Also yes, I want everyone’s crazy driving stories.
The craziest thing I’ve ever seen was an old guy driving buck ass naked in an Oldsmobile down the connector with one hand on the steering wheel and the other holding a confederate flag out the driver’s window.
So, I was visiting Russia. I was with a group in St. Petersburg, and we were being taken somewhere in a tourist van. Suddenly the driver decides to take a “shortcut”: he starts going the wrong way on a (busy) one-way street. My favorite part was that he actually stuck his head out of the window to scream at the other drivers for being in his way.
Not driving, but once in Alberta I saw a HUGE black truck with the license plate U MAD and it was beautiful.
Also in Minnesota, once, the plate “AW GEEZ”
The *only way* I survive my commute in Atlanta is by using the commuter shuttle my university provides. I have to drive somewhere between 5 and 15 minutes to get to the parking lot (depending on the quality of my sacrifices to the Traffic Gods that day), but then I can get on the shuttle and read my newspaper. The rest of the drive might take anywhere between 10 and 30 minutes, but the fact that I can’t do anything about it does wonders for my stress level!
Driving to a parking lot to catch the private bus, wow… I’m glad the private shuttle is there for you, but that is truly insane. This is why Atlantans will never not have traffic chaos with their 1″ of snowfall. It’s not just a “peak oil” issue… everyday Americans’ lives could be so so so much better and simpler and more pleasant with a little more public transport!!
I complain about the shitty state of the Boston MBTA a lot… but this makes me so grateful for our ridiculous turn-of-the-twentieth-century subway infrastructure and buses with the early night-time shut-downs.
Atlanta’s public transit system is a shadow of a shadow of the great thing it could be if the city’s politics weren’t rife with race and class issues. One of the counties won’t let the public transit system expand in at all, and as soon as you get anywhere near white monied folks with the idea of expanding rail transit into their neighborhood, the pearl-clutching gets so loud and clattery that nothing gets done. And that’s just about expanding it — running it IN GENERAL is also a hugely fraught issue because all those white monied folks, who like to elect more white monied folks into the government, think only poor black people use it and therefore don’t prioritize its funding. Rather, they actively keep SLASHING its funding and then whatever funding it DOES get has, in recent years, been badly managed. On top of that, Atlanta itself is laid out in such a sprawling manner that it’s really hard not to have a car, so a lot of people want any money for transit to go into roads, not rail/buses. I did the carless thing for five years and it was definitely doable, but it was hard.
MARTA could be a great thing, but sadly, it is not. And likely will not be.
exactly… power to the people, subways for the people!
or electric tramcars or what-have you.
though it is kind of amazing to see racism colluding with pro-pollution forces. ugh.
and especially sad since this is a huge contributor to income inequality — if you don’t have a car or can’t afford to fix a car that breaks down, and there is no public transportation option, you may not be able to keep the job or even get hired in the first place. That plus including all the people hired to run subways or drive buses, what an amazing job-creating force it would be to improve the public transport infrastructure in Atlanta!
The politics of public transit are so frustrating! I live in Portland, Or, and while on the whole we have excellent transit, there has been a similar outcry about light rail moving into a rich white suburb. The words “crime train” get thrown around a lot, like the train is exclusively a way to transport gangs directly to suburban houses.
As a fellow Portlander, that’s exactly what I plan on using it for. For all my crime gangs. All seven.
Seriously though, I’m glad that most of the people I interact with on a daily basis understand that transit is useful (my friends especially, because they’re a lot of brokeass just out of college kids.) I actually take the light rail one stop most days to cut a mile and a half off of my biking commute like an obnoxious lazy person.
On the plus side though: did you see that they’ve restored more frequent service on a bunch of bus lines? I’m so glad because the 57 out to Forest Grove was a NIGHTMARE commute a year ago and it sounds much more tolerable now.
Honestly, I love the max and the streetcar, but am not a huge bus user besides the 15 and the 20, not because I fear crime, but because I’m always terrified I’ll miss my stop and I don’t have one of those newfangled smartphones to help me navigate. As you can likely tell, I did not grow up in a city.
I don’t live out there anymore, but when I lived in Forest Grove and worked in Hillsboro that was the only way I could get to work. I don’t like the buses so much either, not because of CRIME FEARZ but because they tend to be more crowded and stressful, and aren’t quite as reliable with schedules, and I am too nervous to put my bike on the bus. It’s usually easier to just take my bike on the MAX and then bike the rest of the way. And yes, smartphones do help you navigate, it’s true. The more I explore, though, the less I need it in downtown.
When I lived near Washington DC I learned that the fastest lane is the right lane. Folks in DC are often more concerned with image and status than with time. Therefore, those people *need* to be in the left lane – to prove their status. I always navigated the beltway faster with the rest of the plebes in the right lane. Not that I attained any real speed, just faster than the snobs.
Of course, this experience only happened on weekends. Going to work I always took the train – with the plebes again. Apparently proving one’s high status means driving to work in the some of the worst traffic in the nation, even when there are trains available.
Unfortunately if you are going from one suburb to another, and not into the city, it can be very hard to make that trip with the bus/train plebes. PURPLE LINE PLEASE COME TO US. (My job is in PG and it’s a half hour drive.. by bus or Metro, it would be at least an hour and a half, one way. I’m very very lucky to have a car, but my ideal goal is to NOT have one.)
Agreed. I was forced into a car when work and home were both in suburbs in Massachusetts. I feel for you.
However, it was a hoot working in the same DC office with a car-commuter who lived near me. She was always complaining about the traffic, about parking. My train trip always took less time *and* allowed me to sleep.
When she approached me about carpooling, I explained the advantages of the comfy train option, but she turned up her nose at traveling with “those people”. Her bigotry was not racist, but classist. Potayto, potahto. I decided not to hurt her by telling her my salary was better than hers.
I regret that decision.
>Parts of the highway here are 8 lanes across in one direction and they all move at generally the same rate with all kinds of nonsense going on.
You’re so brave to take the highway! I cannot with Atlanta highways, no ma’am. I just leave an hour early and take surface streets, which are at least slow with their nonsense…usually.
Yeah, rest of the country, you see that Vortex. <spits> I was straight up wearing shorts on Monday. Also I’ve seen that shot so many times/design so many times (thanks, planning school) but I still get sorta excited I can figure out exactly where I live. Burnham, you might’ve been a dick, but goddamn am I not thankful for your grid every day.
Chicago Toasties, shall we make a pool on when the last of the snow melts and stays melted? Goddamn do I need a drink. Hopefully on the Handlebar Patio or maybe Big Star in an off hour and DEFINITELY on a stoop, but I would like to get nice and faded at Maria’s, too.
I freaked the FUCK OUT when I got my gas bill earlier this week. I better win that pool so I can afford to pay it.
Also, the Queen of my block doesn’t allow beer drinking on stoops, so can I come over to your place?
WAIT WAIT WAIT WHAT? Is there a ban on block parties too? WHAT IS THIS FASCIST STATE?
Also do I feel you on the People’s thing I mean WHAT THE HELL it was MARCH.
Because I am Like That, I checked my March 2013 gas bill. We actually used about 8% less gas a year ago! But the purchase price of gas has nearly tripled.
As for Piri, her rule against front stoop drinking is a small price to pay for her overall block supervision. My sense is that in her life experience there’s little difference between a lazy Saturday afternoon beer and unemployable alcoholism. Not my experience, but I’ll accede as part of a larger package. There’s less graffiti on our block than any other block in the neighborhood.
Plus last August I set up a hammock on the back porch. Who needs the front porch anyway!!
Yes to the pool! (Last frost is estimated to be sometime in MAAAAAAAAY. WHYYYYYYYY.) Also, a stoop seems like the dimmest of memories at this point in time.
I know. I was idly scrolling through photos on my tumblr from last summer and my brain creaked out, When was thaaaat?
I swear to god if it is less than 30 next Friday I will wreak vengeance.
Tangentially related to the driving article: People who walk on the left side of sidewalks drive me nuts, especially since they always seem to be mortally offended when I try to get around them.
It’s the same as driving! Keep to the right except to pass, and all will be well! I don’t understand why this is apparently so difficult.
(Granted, this is less awful/dangerous than doing your makeup while going 50 miles an hour. But still. Still!)
Also people who walk in groups that span the entire sidewalk and then get huffy with you when you try to get by. Bonus points if you try to get by on a bicycle*.
*which should be on the road, not the sidewalk, unless it’s like a park path or something.
Yes, exactly.
Like, yes, I see all of you young beautiful undergraduates lined up in formation. Great job on the boot coordination. Really, top-notch. Now get out of my way!
Yeah I didn’t refresh so I repeated you, but yes, this. Alsoooo – people who meander from side to side making it impossible to pass without bumping them due to their random patterns.
Bad on the sidewalk. Criminal on the train platform.
I wish there were good bike lanes everywhere so I didn’t have to ride on the sidewalk ever. Or just more bike paths, because those are better.
Makes my blood boil. Also, people who walk 2-3-4 across and you can’t get around them.
What IS that? The anger people have for someone walking at a faster pace/wanting to actually use the sidewalk for its intended purpose … so weird.
Related: people who stand on the left side of the escalator in the subway. Right side is for standing, left side is for walking. I was stuck behind someone today who got on the left side and stood the whole way up [while the right side was completely packed so I couldn’t pass, and the left side above her was completely empty because everyone else knows the rules], and I couldn’t decide if it would be unacceptably rude to say something.
For me it would depend on how long the escalator was — if it was one of those where you can barely see the top, then I probably would sort of cough politely and try to say something. If it was on the shorter side, I would probably just be bitter about it.
I’m probably the least confrontational person in the world, though, so ymmv.
Right? The escalator is NOT A RIDE.
Lies. People who walk on escalators are either late (bad time managers) or UNAMERICAN (unwilling to take advantage of technological advances to the propagation of obesity)
This morning, I was on an escalator from the trolley platform up to the subway platform behind a woman who decided that everyone should slooowly ride the escalator to the top, even though there was a subway arriving. I finally asked her to move aside so I wouldn’t miss the connection, and she looked surprised! People.
(Can I also rant about people who start pushing you aside to get off a moving bus/trolley/subway looong before the stop? a. You have plenty of time to go the 10 feet to the door, b. if you don’t say “Excuse me” like a well-bred human, I can’t tell you that I am also getting off at that stop and save us both the shoving.)
Oh, those shovers! I am very familiar with those. They like to stand up in front of me when I’m standing and holding the bar above where they’re sitting, making me stretch uncomfortably so I don’t fall when the train stops. Calm down! I’m also getting off and even if I wasn’t, I will MOVE.
Yes, there are so many people who seem surprised that there was someone behind them that wanted to pass them on the sidewalk and I am constantly thinking at them “This is New York City, there is always someone behind you on the sidewalk.” (And then I feel like maybe that should be in a Nightvale episode.)
In high school there were signs in the hallways that said “THE RIGHT SIDE IS THE RIGHT SIDE” and I always want to scream that at people on the sidewalk and in the halls at work.
That is weirdly WWII-propaganda-esque and I love it and will be stealing it, thank you!
My favorite year in high school was senior year because somehow being a senior made you impervious to any and all retaliation when you bowled through a gaggle of non-seniors who were blocking the hallways.
Freshman Bowling. You are the ball, they are the pins. Lots of fun!
My middle school had signs like that! The whole school was set up as a circuit, so if you walked on the left, it was like jumping lanes on a two-lane highway. Lots of crashes, 3-to-4-student pileups, it got bad.
THANK YOU. The ImprovEverywhere sketch a couple years ago where they painted “tourist” and “resident” on some NYC sidewalks got a few laughs but I was all *but seriously y’all*
If you are a pedestrian on a multi-use path, don’t blindly walk across it with your camera to take pictures of the river. It’s like a road for bikes and people. Look behind you! Be aware!
this story brought to you by the time I braked as hard as I could and still knocked a pedestrian over because she was an IDIOT
See, that right there was interfering with natural selection. Unless you managed to injure her enough to render her infertile and/or unable to successfully raise her DNA-bearers to join society. We’re letting the stupids procreate!
On the other hand, you are a very nice person and I most certainly am not.
I am what you might call an aggressive pedestrian (I walk fast and without patience) and, yes. All of the things in this thread infuriate me on a daily basis.
That Bunny Melon will is BEYOND. “all Schlumberger enamel bracelets that I wear on a regular basis”
God damn, did that lady ever know how to live.
“From my collection of diverse boxes”!!!!!!!!!
I KNOW. I cannot even hate, I have to just groove on with it. RIP, Bunny.
FISH CLIP. SNAKE BRACELET. I would pay money to see this woman’s collection of animal-themed fine jewelry.
The camel clip of blue enamel!
The blue starfish with emerald center!
Claudia Kishi would die (dye?) for those.
“If my late husband’s son, Timothy Mellon, survives me, I give and bequeath to him the porcelain cabbage presently located on my dining room table.”
!!!!
I would give my eyeteeth for Bunny Melon’s porcelain cabbage.
Wouldn’t we all
That’s what stood out for me, too! What did Young Master Timmy do to piss Bunny off? And also the line where if Eliza becomes “unable” to carry out her executrix duties someone takes over…look out, Eliza, Timothy’s behind you!
“May 2000, her daughter Eliza was hit by a truck while crossing a Manhattan street, causing a severe brain injury and full-body paralysis. Eliza spent the remaining eight
years of her life under round-the-clock care at Oak Spring Farms, and died in 2008.”
Edited to feel like an asshole. Sorry for the bad joke, Eliza.
I’m not sure Timmy’s getting the short end of the stick here, that porcelain cabbage is probably stuffed with jewels or gold cicadas or million-dollar banknotes.
And you just know that porcelain cabbage means EVERYTHING to someone other than Timothy M. It never fails when it comes to dividing up possessions of loved ones, says the current executrix of her late mother’s estate.
My God, the tales I could tell…! Learn from me, kids: LABEL YOUR SHIT.
There need to be more people named Bunny in my life
I don’t have any Bunnys but I have more than one Muffy.
I know that it’s been a cold winter and everyone and their mother wants to talk about it. But global climate change and record lows are NOT mutually exclusive! It’s driving me nuts that everytime someone comments on the weather they have to throw in a “global warming, eh?”
That is sufficient enough for me to dismiss anything that person says from that moment on as unworthy. Do not try to preach if you don’t know what you’re talking about.
I like to refer them to this (not that is usually helps, but then I at least feel better): http://xkcd.com/1321/
This is why I like to use the term climate change instead of global warming. The world is warming in general but we will see extremes on the cold side, too.
Every time someone wants to do that, kindly remind them that Australia just experienced one of their hottest summers on record. For most of January, half of my state was constantly on fire, so.
Or just kindly remind them to fuck off.
There’s always that.
It was one of the warmest winters on record in Europe. I met a guy from Zurich at a client meeting earlier this week, who said that it only snowed once there this winter, and all the Northern Alp ski resorts were having trouble because of the high temps and lack of snow.
I then yell passive aggressively “CLIMATE CHANGE EH?!”
Where is this spring? I’ve had to scrape ice off my windshield for weeks and did it this morning. Why.
Argh, you need a mini vacation in Austin! Especially since the SXSW madness is finally overrrrrr! Bring your bathing suit: it’s already summery here, although the fields of wildflowers seem to think it’s still spring. Maybe come for the weekend? But it has to be now, because by this time next month it will be stinking hot and all the little plants will be dead and crispy. Ah, summer in Texas. Can’t wait. 🙁
Today, I am choosing to pretend that it is spring by wearing a bright green dress and only minimally covering it with a sweater. It is sort of working?
Yes, I can see it’s a good look for you.
Spring just recently shoved its way into Tennessee. The temperatures suddenly shot up to ‘warmer than I’m comfortable with on such short notice’ Tuesday afternoon and stayed there for two whole days. I nearly wilted in my work uniform both Tuesday and Wednesday because, of course, nowhere touches the thermostat until the seasons have definitively changed.
It’s raining and 50 degrees outside now… but there isn’t any ice!
Snowed in Calgary again overnight and I too was scraping ice off my windshield again.
(okay, Mr. September was. I get in the car and huddle with the seat warmers).
The Calgary weatherpeople SWEAR spring is coming starting tomorrow but I taste the ashes of disappointment already…
Mr. September shall be spared the coming misandry apocalypse.
He’ll be thrilled to hear it. He also does the laundry, so I had high hopes for his survival.
BOSTON IS THE GREATEST PLACE ON EARTH and for this day (and later this month on the 16th and the 21st) I will brook no discussion about that fact (the rest of the time, I’ll be slightly less intractable). If there’s a heaven, Boston emergency workers have earned their places in it a thousand times over.
I wish I could like this so, so many times. I have to admit, though, that I’m a little nervous about this year’s marathon. I’ll be happy when everyone has safely crossed the finish line.
I’ll be away on Patriot’s Day but I have several friends running the marathon and will be thinking of them and everyone else around town that day.
SO I see that this driving article implicates Canada, but as someone who learned to drive in the greater Washington, DC area, I was amazed while driving from Montreal to Quebec City that people did only use the left lane for passing. Perhaps this was a fluke??
I have driven extensively all over Canada, and it’s pretty common that people use the left lane for passing BUT only in long-distance travel areas (i.e., not in city travel using a highway so much). But once you’re out on the highways in rural areas, people do tend to use the left lane for passing only (and also driving REALLY FAST up to someone’s bumper to get them to get over, then RRRRiiiiiiiing past them and giving them dirty looks).
Y’all, did you see on the news that they’ve uncovered Secret Cuban Twitter? The first thing I thought was that Secret Canadian Twitter is next and I laughed really loudly in my apartment all alone.
Tangentially related: following Elif Batuman (@BananaKarenina) on twitter has always been satisfying, but she has recently been doing a heroic job translating underground Turkish twitter’s political cat joke tweets.
I agree, except–MA occasionally, because it’s evil, makes you exit on the left. I recently learned to drive, and I don’t feel comfortable going fast, but I *also* don’t want to try getting into the left lane at the last moment. So there’ll be fifteen minutes to half an hour where I’m the Person Going The Speed Limit in the Left Lane, and I realize this annoys people behind me, but a) going ten mph slower for that long is not going to kill you, take a pill, b) it’ll be a lot slower if I crash into someone when trying to exit, and c) blame Massachusetts, dude. As with so many driving issues.
(Also, if you honk at me because I’m going slowly in Harvard motherfucking Square, I will drive even slower. Because fuck you, is why, Broski McTinypenis.)
I love Massachusetts but goddamn people here are bad drivers.
Seriously. I live in RI and work in Mass, and while RI drivers aren’t really any better there doesn’t seem to be any… malice? behind their shitty driving.
Massachusetts on the other hand is a goddamn war zone. If you’re not already going 50 mph at the exact nanosecond the light turns green, the angry beeping starts. And goes on and on and on. Thank god I take the train to work, I’d have a nervouse breakdown if I had to drive in Boston.
I’m not even in Boston, I’m in a small town, and driving is still terrifying! I cannot even imagine driving in Boston, I think I would just drop dead on the spot.
What exits are you talking about? Are they on the pike? Because going against the flow of traffic like that is really dangerous.
Yeah–I’m not sure of exact numbers, but there was one like that when I was coming back from New Hampshire, and one coming back from Chelmsford. Possibly the same exit.
Also, the rotary leading out of Quincy: “Go right, go right–ohh, if you want to get to 195 South, GO LEFT RIGHT NOW NO YOU DON’T GET ANY SIGNS IN ADVANCE WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘LANE MARKERS’?”
I will find whoever designed that and kick them in the genitals repeatedly. New life goal.
This winter has made me want to leave Chicago forever 🙁
I’ve been following Calgarians on Twitter for a sense of context…
We’re happy to oblige.
This winter has made me actually decide to leave Chicago forever!
I was all like “yay, rain instead of snow this week” and then the goddamn barometrically-provoked migraine kicked in. STOP TRYING TO MURDER US, CHICAGO
This winter has ALSO made me actually decide to leave Chicago forever, but I have another year here before I graduate.
This has been a poorly-timed realization.
I’ve actually left Chicago (possibly forever) but I still travel there for work, & I keep accidentally timing my trips with the worst of its cold periods. I didn’t even understand what Nicole was talking about re: this photo because it’s what I see each time I come back (…okay, not, like, last month. but January & February were both brutal).
This winter has made me realize…that I can always put on more layers, but if it gets above 80º, I may start wishing for another polar vortex.
I’m broken, you guys.
Yes, please come visit us! We’ll also have Illuminati stationery from this! http://the-toast.net/2014/03/18/desk-illuminati-r…
Also Kendra Wells is gonna be there so it’s a Toast party!
Suppose a non-NYC-dweller wanted to purchase some of that badass Iluminati stationery…?
We may have some leftover after this weekend and sell it online! Or depending on demand we may just print more. I will keep everyone posted!
Like half of Japanese humour is predicated on understanding kanji really well, so I dunno it might one up even France.
Corollary: if I am not in the left lane, please don’t tailgate me. Go the fuck around. The left lane is clear.
How about just don’t tailgate anyone, ever? I was recently trying to get away from a driver in the left lane of a 2-lane road who was clearly impaired (slow, drifting into my lane, random turn signals). Before I could, some idiot zoomed up and started tailgating them to get them out of the lane. I had nowhere to go and was terrified that they were going to scare the impaired driver into smashing into my car.
But yes, I agree. Other cars are not sheep. You do not need to herd them into all going exactly the same speed.
Tailgaters make me drive slower JUST TO SPITE THEM.
This is when a car with a clutch is a joy. When I gain a tailgater on a highway, in the right lane, with an open lane to my left, and there are no exits in the next mile, I step on the clutch. Then I slip easily into neutral.
The oh-so-gradual slowing catches Massachusetts turnpike drivers every time. I think they all learned to set their speed by the car in front of them – 5 feet in front of them. Or maybe there’s a Massachusetts tradition that looking at the speedometer guarantees you’ll go to hell.
More than 50% of the time I can slow all the way to 25 mph with the tailgater still on my bumper. Then I drop it into 2nd gear, pop the clutch, and haul ass. The now former tailgater may eventually pass me. (I like to watch them in my rear view while cackling maniacally.) More fun ensues if they remain clueless and tailgate me again. Repeat above process.
If they do pass me, I make eye contact with my best stern teacher-face. They were all set to give me their WTF? face but they fall apart when they realize I was dissing them on purpose.
This is what happens with a long commute on the Mass Pike. Oh gods, I’m so evil for enjoying this so much.
>Parts of the highway here are 8 lanes across in one direction and they all move at generally the same rate with all kinds of nonsense going on.
You're so brave to take the highway! I cannot with Atlanta highways, no ma'am. I just leave an hour early and take surface streets, which are at least slow with their nonsense…usually.
…so children should only be playing with toys that they themselves can make?