How was your week? Did the Internet seem ESPECIALLY FIGHTY to you over the last few days, or is that a misperception on my part? Now that I’m done yelling at that New Yorker (dotcom) guy, I promise to keep The Toast a haven of fightlessness for the next couple of days.

Slowly but surely, the Redwall series and Game of Thrones inch towards a singularity.

“I don’t see the point of that genderless stuff. Like ze/zir, or genderqueer, or whatever.”

Heads bobbed in agreement across the room. The older people in the group seemed pleased by the pronouncement, while the younger people, conscious of who makes the hiring decisions at LGBT nonprofits, nodded more noncommittally.

I was momentarily dumbfounded. The coherent part of my brain urged patience. “Do not, do NOT, use the word neoliberal when responding,” it cautioned. “You are the only person in the room wearing flannel.”

YOU ARE NOT CASEY KLEIN; ACCEPT THIS

Part II coming soon.

Ayn Rand returned to tackle the Chamber of Secrets; you have not seen the last of her.

“There are no Asians in this movie.” Joel Kim Booster came back and I sort of want him to just review movies for us forever now.

I would eat at a Secret Olive Garden, for sure.

We never did clear up the issue of who owns the movie rights to the X-Men. I guess the world will never know.

This week I did sixty deadlifts and BOY PUSHUPS (YES I AM GOING TO GENDER THAT EXERCISE, DEAL WITH IT) for the first time in my life. FESTOON ME WITH PRAISE.