RELEVANT TO TOAST INTERESTS: Kristen Stewart’s new haircut.
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In May, Dolly Parton returned from promoting her new album, Blue Smoke, to Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, for the celebration she hosts every year: the Dollywood Homecoming Parade. Thousands gathered along the stretch of U.S. Route 441 known as Dolly Parton Parkway, from stoplight number six to stoplight number three. The devoted sat in strategically placed lawn chairs; the less eager watched from roadside hotel balconies. My boyfriend and I stood in the median of the parkway, opposite a spiraling bumper-car attraction, and watched as the first few floats passed: veterans, students, and an official contingent from the City of Pigeon Forge. A marching band played “9 to 5” and then “Islands in the Stream.”
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Shopping at Thrift Town!
At Thrift Town, they think that Chico’s is a designer label. They price Chico’s jackets higher than they would sell for at a Chico’s outlet. I wish I could tell them this. I applied for a job at my local Thrift Town last year, but even though I had an interview, I wasn’t hired. I guess that the fact that my last full time job in 2008 paid 4K made them think that I “wouldn’t be happy there.” (Applied for a job at Chico’s too.) Personally, I would be happy not to have to buy food with an EBT card, but employers can’t seem to get past my salary history.
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Stop me. Do not let me purchase knock-off Sherlock props.
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bitches gotta eat says picking cherries is hard:
chapter two: i am a nice friend. cherry picking is not my idea of a fun time. i might cancel on dinner once or twice but if i love you and you need a bitch to help fuck your ex-boyfriend’s new car up then yes i will get out of bed and help. i love my goddamned friends and there isn’t anything i wouldn’t do for one of them. so when kate asked me to get up at dawn on a sunday to drive three hours to michigan and pick fruit on some bonding type shit i angrily said, HOE ARE YOU NUTS WHO THE FUCK WOULD EVER WANT TO DO THAT. and then i felt bad and was like, fine but we are stopping at a motherfucking cracker barrel.
*
How coffee fueled the Civil War:
Union troops made their coffee everywhere, and with everything: with water from canteens and puddles, brackish bays and Mississippi mud, liquid their horses would not drink. They cooked it over fires of plundered fence rails, or heated mugs in scalding steam-vents on naval gunboats. When times were good, coffee accompanied beefsteaks and oysters; when they were bad it washed down raw salt-pork and maggoty hardtack. Coffee was often the last comfort troops enjoyed before entering battle, and the first sign of safety for those who survived.
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If you live in Salt Lake City (hahhahahahahahaahahahahahah it’s just me) come see Rob Delaney with me on the night of the 24th!
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Tags: feminism, link roundup, the internet
I would like everyone who has ever described any woman ever thusly to be killed with fire:
So, what makes Gosling and Mendes click?
“She’s very friendly and approachable. She’s also very independent and Ryan is too,” the insider adds. “He loves that Eva isn’t prissy. She’s like a dude. She’s outgoing and makes everyone feel great.”
She is not a dude, she is a normal woman.
Because dudes have that “outgoing and making everyone feel great” game LOCKED DOWN.
You know, there are times when I bemoan the difficulties of being a gay woman — dealing with assholes, fishing in a dating pool that is just smaller and harder to find, etc.
This is one of the other times.
The real question, though, is: does she eat cheeseburgers?
NO, the real question is: does she eat cheeseburgers with gusto, yet her body remains bangable?
Ah yes. Once more “like a dude” is the highest compliment any woman can have!
I would be damn insulted if someone told me “You’re just like a dude!”, principally because I am a woman and I like being a woman and it is AWESOME to be a woman and to tell me that “being like a dude” is something to….aspire to is really just saying “You’re not like those other women who suck.”
Which is weird, because I know plenty of sucky dudes AND women and if I wanted to tell them they sucked, I would tell them “you fucking suck,” not “you’re just like a dude!” or whatever.
brb while I go read AHP’s Cool Girl article.
You are not like other women.
Yes, I am a special snowflake, and so are you because you finally noticed that I am so incredibly different from every other woman to ever have existed, so thank you for remarking on that.
On the flipside, to tell a dude, You are like a woman is considered an insult, so yay for inherent sexism.
Seeing Gillian Flynn read the ‘Cool Girl’ passage from Gone Girl at an event in 2013 was a religious experience.
I’d read that passage online somewhere before reading the book. So it was a little weird to come to that page and think, huh, this character is not who I would expect her to be based on this (incredibly true and righteous) rant.
It is an amazing, elevating passage. And then so discordant, given the context.
I kind of hated Gone Girl, but that passage was perfect.
Where’s that from?
The always delightful People Magazine
Thank you!
PS: I bet she is as comfortable in jeans as in a gown.
She doesn’t know that she’s beautiful; that’s why she’s beautiful
NAH NA-NA NAH, NAH NAH NA-NA-NA-NA
“something something fresh-scrubbed face and bee-stung lips something something.” <- FREE OF CHARGE, People magazine!
The People.com commenters are even more delightful.
AuroraGamine • 2 hours ago
“He loves that Eva isn’t prissy. She’s like a dude. She’s outgoing and makes everyone feel great.” Um, so what, all women are prissy, introverted, and make people feel bad? Riiiight. When I hear ‘like a dude’ I picture her guzzling beers and farting and burping. Awesome.
Bsquared41 AuroraGamine • 2 hours ago
So all dudes only guzzle beers and fart and burp? You realize you just did the same type of thing you think that person who was quoted was doing, right? Hopefully you know that not all dudes do only those things, so I’m sure that person didn’t mean to imply that prissy or introverted girls make people feel bad either.
#NotAllMen #NotAllWomen
*groans and rolls around on floor in despair*
Have you seen that Amy Schumer sketch that deals with this crap? It is phenomenal.
Yes, that sketch is perfect!
I have not, but where could one see this sketch?
I am at work so I can’t verify, but this link should work:
http://www.cc.com/video-clips/69izad/inside-amy-s…
Enjoy!
That is the best.
What makes celebrity couples click?
A. Their mechanical parts
B. The pocket watches they inherited from their kindly grandfathers
C. The boring personalities we project on to them
D. Their incisors as they prepare to devour you
The timer.
Like a dude in that she goes hiking in high heels.
Not that I think this makes her prissy. I’m guessing she is your average blend of human characteristics. (Though I have to admit that I’m not a huge fan from interviews I’ve read with her.)
Look, my local paper has been ON POINT with their tiny horse+tiny person coverage this week (I think Breyer Fest may have something to do with it) and here is a photo of a tiny THERAPY HORSE named MAGIC bringing joy and delight to a tiny human at a children’s hospital.
That is what I am going to post now. Prepare yourselves.
I hope they take tiny children as therapy people to the tiny horse hospital. Oh my god.
That seems only right and proper, really.
….taking for my tumblr. Thanks!
Oh my god this is so embarrassing but I think that’s a Breyer blanket? Those are the Breyer colors at least, so mayhap this little wonder was sponsored by the maker of my childhood obsessions? (Let’s be real – Breyer Bucephalus still stands guard on my bookshelf in my adult apartment and I see him every day on my way to my adult job.)
You are ABSOLUTELY correct–Magic is in town for Breyerfest, where he is being honored as the newest addition to the Breyer collection, so there is going to be an even tinier version of this tiny horse for purchase. Amazing!
For your astute and correct observation, here is another bonus picture:
Do you WANT to drive every other thought out of my head today? Geez.
Never be embarrassed for loving Breyer horses. NEVER I SAY!
Why, yes, I do have nearly a dozen Breyers I’ve retained since childhood (mid 70’s because I am An Old) proudly displayed in my home, thanks for asking!
You guys missed an important detail: Breyerfest!!! How this became an event, I don’t know. But you will see me there one day.
Part of me wants to go, but another part of me is terrified by that level of devotion.
I WILL GO TO THERE. I WILL BUY A LITTLE VERSION OF A LITTLE HORSIE HORSE.
I DID NOT PREPARE ADEQUATELY
Accurately-named tiny horse is accurately named!
Also, re: The Notorious RBG. I never thought of her outside the context of being a SCOTUS baller, so when the article mentioned that she is a Jewish grandmother, my brain flipped out. Can you imagine RBG being your grandma??
My Jewish grandmother’s stock phrase was “Working hard, or hardly working?” when she visited me at the office (family business her husband founded.) If RBG was my grandmama, I do believe the answer would inevitably be “working hard! I’m working hard, I promise!”
I saw her once at a restaurant.
Now I can’t not imagine it.
Landmark Supreme Court decisions & blistering dissents > rugelach and babka, all day every day
(True story, she doesn’t cook. Her husband always cooked dinner for the family.)
DC people! Today and tomorrow are the 150th anniversary of the Battle of Fort Stevens, and speaking of Civil War coffee, one of the reasons that the Union was able to reinforce the barriers was that General Jubal Early’s troops had stopped to loot Blair Mansion, gotten blasted on Montgomery Blair’s stash of whiskey, and were too hungover to start out in the morning. Early tried sending scouts down the valley of Rock Creek, but the Union had cut down trees to make progress there slow, and he couldn’t flank the defenses at Fort Stevens.
I am not much of a Civil War buff, but I was stunned when I realized how close the Confederate army came to sneaking in from the north. (Lincoln took a ride out to view the defenses at Fort Stevens, and someone took a shot at him; apocryphal reports say that someone shouted, “Get down, you damn fool!” which I hope he appreciated.) The Park Service is hosting all kinds of commemorative events through this weekend, so if that’s your cup of tea, enjoy!
THAT is who Montgomery Blair High School is named for?! I’m so tickled right now…
“apocryphal reports say that someone shouted, “Get down, you damn fool!” which I hope he appreciated.”
C’mon, give ’em the whole story! Apocryphal reports say future Associate Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. shouted “Get down, you damn fool!” at him.
Somewhere I’d read that it was a woman on the nursing staff–obviously everyone wanted the chance to say they’d yelled at the POTUS for his own good.
apples and oranges, Blair was Postmaster-General, but it’s a lot more fun to imagine that his whiskey stock is why he got a high school named for him.
That lip-biting photo of KStew is going to be everyone’s sexual orientation today, probably.
Also, Rob Delaney is DELIGHTFUL live. I saw him nearly two years ago the night after seeing Patton Oswalt, and it’s crazy how two comedians can be so radically different yet manage to entertain. (Patton’s live routine is more my style, but Rob has this relaxed stage presence and knack for storytelling that’s very endearing.)
That photo is great but what is she wearing?!? Distracts from the sexiness. I’ll just have to imagine her without pants.
I am super asexual and that picture is still, uh, distracting me. GODDAMN. GET OUT OF HERE WITH YOUR FACE. DAYUM.
Rob has my eternal loyalty because on the very first day we existed he tweeted to his BILLION FOLLOWERS that we were really funny and everyone should read us.
That’s so great! I love how he’s embraced Twitter as his medium for comedy, and he’s a very effective signal-booster.
I love The Toast for various reasons, but introducing me to Bitches Gotta Eat is pretty high on the list.
No kidding! I’ve bookmarked Ms. Irby and delightfully squeal with every new post. ETA:
Samantha, if you ever read this, you have outdone yourself. Too many great lines to quote, just so brilliant on multiple levels.
Rob Delaneyyyyyyyy.
(Nicole that wallpaper tho)
That wallpaper would look really good in my bathroom. Thank god I have no time for home improvement right now.
YOU GUYS I was going to wait for the cocktail thread but it can’t wait.
SOMETHING IS TRYING TO COME DOWN MY CHIMNEY. AAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
Not a euphemism. It sounds scrabbly and is pushing at the top of the plastic bag of scrunched up newspaper we have stuffed up it to prevent draughts (rental, UK). Fortunately it’s the fireplace in my boyfriend’s hovel* so I just ran out and shut the door. Maybe ‘it’ will be dead by the time we get back from the weekend? What to do what to do *shudders*
*office. Same same.
Download some loud, snarly predator noises and play them on loop while you’re away?
You may come back to find neighbors with pitchforks and torches, though.
They can take on whatever beast is up the chimney. This sounds solid.
“Did you know you had the rabbit of Caerbannog up your chimney?”
*feigned shock*
“We thought it was a squirrel! So sorry about your husband.”
last time something made awful scrunchy scrabbly noises in my chimney it was a wasp nest
WHAT
NO
HOW
(do not answer that)
they tore the fire out the winter before and left a great gaping hole in our living room, and that’s how the queen got in
no no no no no props to the matriarchal wasps no no no no
That is a HORRIBLE THING TO SAY and now I can’t go near my chimney, even though it’s (suspiciously?) silent at the moment.
there were just hundreds of wasps hanging out in my chimney trying to chew their way through
hundreds
nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
i walked into my living room one morning, saw eight wasps buzzing around there and closed the door and walked away
(i put up a sign. it said ‘WASP’)
DEAD DOVE – DO NOT EAT.
if it’s wasps though they will never be silent
they will literally never be silent
you will be lying in bed one night, because your bedroom and the now utterly untrustworthy living room share a wall, and you will be awake, listening the awful scratching and low humming of the wasps and it will never stop until you shove a bug bomb in there and seal up all cracks with yellow and black warning tape
You hate me. I take it personally. Just so you know.
my horror can only be calmed by forcing it on others
you think its bad imagining it
i heard it
waaaaaaasps i am allergic to wasps
AUUUUUUUUUUUGH. :(:(:(
This is not gonna help at ALL, but in my house we had a squirrel come down the chimney and we managed to chase it out from the family room into the garage and thus release it back to nature.
I am certain there must have been rodents at my house-in-the-woods. I lived there for 12 years. All my neighbors had rodents in their houses. I never saw, heard, smelled any sign of them, though. But adorable little dogs lived in that house with me. Their breed has no higher purpose than ridding the world of rodents. That and turning up the cute factor until you cannot help but give them tummy rubs. So the only question is, were the dogs catching and eating rodents in my house without my knowledge? Or were rodents wisely avoiding my dog-scented property?
The rodents were wisely avoiding your dog-scented property. Good job to all involved.
Watch out that it’s not tailypo.
It’s a fireplace, start a fire?
If whatever it is comes through smoke and fire to get at you abandon the building, change your name, get a one-way ticket out of the country I guess
Oh my god that is the WORST.
We had something caught in our chimney, too. We couldn’t get it out, though, and we assume it just…died…in there? UGH. So gross. It never smelled, though, so it must have been small.
I really hope it’s not wasps.
UGH.
WHAT
NO
Fortunately it’s the fireplace in my boyfriend’s hovel* so I just ran out and shut the door.
ahahahahahaha oh no. (That is also what I would do.)
Can you call a chimney… person? Like, a chimney-sweep service, maybe, and ask their advice? My little experience w/sweeps suggests they tend toward the unflappable.
Ugh once a pigeon got into a house I lived in through the chimney and my roommate had to chase it out with a broom while I cowered in the kitchen and made sad helpless noises. V. similar to Nicole’s recent snake experience, with my roommate playing Nicole and me as the zen master.
It could be a duck!
Once when I was a little a…really confused duck came down our chimney. I had asked for one for Christmas for about 3 years in a row, so I was like”FINALLY!” Everyone else was horrified.
Oh my goodness! We had the same thing happen — we have Wood Ducks around, and one came down our chimney. Our dog (who is a bird dog) was out for a walk and totally missed it — we always wonder what his reaction would’ve been to the duck in the house.
Ha! Our dog was also outside at the time, but she was a very maternal German Shepherd who probably would’ve tried to adopt it.
The Sherlock props site is blocked at work; Category: Games. WHAT. Probably for the best, though.
GO READ MY CAR BUYING GUIDE and share it with your friends. It is entirely illustrated with pictures of Kathy Bates.
I would rock that hair so hard if the Tegan and Sara genre of dyke cuts worked on my square-ass face.
I have a face that is like impossible to do anything with because it is technically an oval like all True Beauties Who Have Ultimate Flexibility according to about.com/hairstyles BUT the vagaries of my actual bone structure/meat padding means it’s really shaped like an upside down egg (narrow at the temples, chubby cheeks), so I absolutely cannot pull off those really angular, asymmetric sexy queer styles and it kills me so bad. My body dysmorphia is that I should be in the body of someone lean, hard, and slender, and instead I am, as I used to think the word was, volumptuous in the extreme.
A million thumbs up for “meat padding”. Plus “why do I firmly believe my outside is a 6 foot tall glamazon but when I look in the mirror I see incongruous meat padding” is my thing, too. Also, I love those severe angular cuts but my round face and super thick and ultra wavy hair just laughs and laughs while sputtering out “OMG, just no!”
That Notorious RBG article is absolutely incredible. Thank you for linking it.
I’m so happy to read that she loves the memes. Sometimes when the internet is going nuts about a real person I worry about whether they’re okay with it. . . but of course Ruth Bader Ginsburg is all wise and sanguine about it.
I feel like a woman who has the razor-blade intellect of RBG is also wise enough to see that the memes arise from a place of love, respect, and gratitude. One of the reasons she is The Best is that her opinions are based on both logic AND compassion – real people’s lives are being affected by these decisions, so they shouldn’t be made without considering the human cost.
I love buying Michael Kors and Brooks Brothers and Ann Taylor like new at my local secondhand store Clothes Mentor. I started doing that when I was broke, unemployed, and living with my grandparents at the age of 25 for lack of other options. Beatrice is my people.
Me, (for like a week), every time I find something good at the thrift store: “Why am I SO GOOD at thrift shopping? This sweater/dress/fancy piece of china is the FANCIEST and it cost FOUR DOLLARS. I’m a genius.” The only downside to being completely obsessed with thrift store bargains is that paying anything above like eight dollars for a piece of clothing now seems genuinely outlandish to me, to the extent that I won’t even go to the thrift store if it’s not half-off day.
Can I ask what general metro area you live in??
My luck has always varied a lot by region. New York and Boston: things are always super-expensive, or else well-picked-through and the good stuff is gone.
The one time I went to a thrift store in Florida: stupendous!
Dollywoooood. I am from near there, and we would go on school band trips every year. I feel it is important to note that for many years, Dollywood had a ride in which you were in the role of a federal agent chasing down moonshiners on the back roads of the Appalachians. It was fantastic.
bless!
Tomorrow I am taking a friend to Dollywood who has never experienced its glory. I am both thrilled and burdened by this great responsibility. My sisters and I can recite the dialogue to Blazing Fury (Dolly’s answer to “Pirates of the Caribbean”) by heart.
Dolly Parton cannot ever be permitted to leave this earth.
I am also from near(ish) there! And straight up agree that that ride was fantastic.
Half the fun of all the school trips I took there might’ve been talking to people who were Not From Around Here and who were apparently living the dream. 14 year old me just couldn’t really appreciate people actually wanting to visit the area, Dolly Parton or no.
But the Sherlock doorknocker is pretty cool and it’s brass and I probably need one. And also if Mycroft visits I’ll know because I will always set it askew. It is, however, over $100 USD with shipping.
related: had a makeout dream about BC last night. it was awesome.
I once had a dream Mycroft and I were dating and he was making fun of me for being unable to order pie in French. Even Dream!Mycroft is an ass.
aahhhhh I keep wishing I would have one of those because I’ve been watching Parade’s End every night this week but so far nothing! whyyyyyyyyyy
I never knew I needed that haircut until I saw it on KStew.
I just got my haircut & now feel I failed for going with “um, a bob, again, I guess?”
I am now wondering if I can pull that haircut off. Goddamn.
Re: RBG
“The ability to present women like Ginsburg, Clinton and Davis as bone-crushingly robust yet simultaneously appealing, revered—practically adorable!—in their rugged severity, is a crucial expansion of the American imagination with regard to powerful women.”
Does anyone else worry that this is not entirely positive? The “practically adorable!” part concerns me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a HUGE fangirl for RBG (and Kagan and Sotomayor), but turning into a meme almost makes her less threatening in a way? I haven’t had enough coffee yet and this isn’t coming out quite right. :/
I hear you–I don’t love the word “adorable” here–but I think I’m generally behind what the quote implies. Imagining (and occasionally seeing for real) in which a woman’s strong and strident opinions and seething contempt for shady politics can be appealing instead of dismissed as shrill or hysterical. I don’t think they’re saying that the women need to be likeable, but that if we As A People like them then that says something good about us.
I think there’s some weirdness around the word adore. The mental images of someone who deserves adoration and someone who’s adorable don’t match. The first suggests reverence but the second suggests cuteness.
Yes, exactly. Well put. My beloved male human says he adores me. He plainly states he loves, but does not adore, our little dogs. (Y’all, whatever he feels for these little canines is even deeper than what I feel for them.) But he says they are adorable. Not at all related words. Not to him. And goddamn, are they ever cute. So, yes, adorable.
I am surprised to learn, from that RBG article, that the 1970s were sixty years ago, and therefore we are now in the 2030s. I thought it was still 2014! Who is president now?
Time has shifted. The 2020s have dropped into the Eternal Vortex. #ronbledore #ibelieve
Toasties, I have a new poem called “In Steubenville” in the Summer 2014 online issue of So To Speak. I feel kind of sick that it happened to go live the same week we need #jadacounterpose, but that’s the conversation we are still having. I would be really grateful if you would read my poem and pass it along if it speaks to you.
Excerpt from “In Steubenville”:
1.
The boys have been boys.
They’ve gone to boy jail.
2.
The girl, they thought as good as dead.
You can do anything to the dead:
we only remember them when they are useful.
But the dead girl was not
dead—she was a girl
instead. To be a girl at a party in Ohio
is to be as good as dead.
Oof.
(It’s gorgeous, and rough. Thank you for sharing it and congratulations on its inclusion in the issue!)
Thank you on all counts!
oof, Rough, but brilliant. Good work. I shared it on facebook.
that will be roiling around in my gut all day now.
sublime writing, and visceral
Thanks for sharing – and congratulations
I’m not a poetry person. Poetry deserves and requires patience. I have so little patience. But, Dr LadyBusiness, your poem got to me. Uncommonly effective wordsmithing. Thank you.
Thank you, that is a really wonderful compliment.
That is amazing writing. Thank you for sharing it.
I’M SORRY, I CAN’T HEAR ANYONE OVER THE GLORY OF KSTEW’S HAIR
And here I am, terrified that I will accidentally buy coffee beans without making sure that they are fine-ground for the espresso machine.
What? What if I am buying coffee beans that are ground too finely for my normal coffeemaker? New horrors!
I think most are not fine-ground and those that are are clearly labeled. But maybe it doesn’t even make much difference in a normal coffeemaker! It definitely does in an espresso maker, that’s all I know.
I only started making my own coffee in the past month. My misandry failed, clearly, because until then I had my spouse make it. Just because he gave up drinking it, he gave up making it & having it there for me to steal. (I never used to drink coffee. But then I stopped sleeping, and discovered that it is glorious.)
I disdain my current job. But the people are nice. And, most important, they provide free coffee. That someone else makes. And someone else cleans up. Maybe I’ll keep this ridiculous little job a little longer.
i have exploded my stove-top espresso coffeemaker this way. With the rough-ground beans.
Suddenly the coffeepot starts rattling and shaking on the stovetop, and boiling hot coffee starts shooting out of the spout like a fountain from a horror movie and landing all over the kitchen, regular spurts sort of like the coffeepot wishes it were a steam-engine tooting its horn, except instead of a sound there is just boiling hot coffee flying everywhere… and i have to process the scene and clean up without even having had my first cup of coffee of the day, which somehow seemed like the most inconceivable part of all of the whole scene….
Oh my god, the living room wallpaper comes in red. It comes in red.
DID NOT NEED TO KNOW.
I was doing just fine until you showed me that perfect color against a perfect ground. Now how will I keep the budget?
When my finances have recovered from SDCC, I’m gonna see if I can afford a roll. Seriously.
Just word to wise here- flocked foil wall paper is a living hell to remove from walls. Particularly if the last owners glued it straight to the textured paint as opposed to, say, putting up a proper backing first. I may have helped remove a significant quantity inch by agonizing inch…
Good to know. Thanks.
“Ugh, don’t even THINK about shooting at me before I’ve had my coffee.”
Oof, I feel that Thrift Town article pretty hard. I’ve been unemployed (well, I was sort of freelancing for a bit, and then NO ONE PAID ME), and like, I barely even get interviews. I know it’s because I have huge gaps in my work history, either because I was going to school full time or because of health problems. I can’t even work somewhere like Thrift Town because I have a non-visible disability and can’t stand. Pretty much at the point where I wanna write like, “HEY I HAVE A DISABILITY HERE, DICKS.” Ugh, “work experience” is such bullshit.
Thank you, that is a really wonderful compliment.
He will be held up as an example in their schools; fathers will teach their sons to act as he did as mothers taught their daughters of Ellen Mongomery in The Wide Wide World.
I know this makes me a terrible person, but when I see something like that Thrift Town story, all I can think is, “THIS IS WHY YOU LIE ON YOUR RESUME.” I feel like you should just put any experience that’s relevant to the job at hand and then just leave everything else out. And if you don’t have any relevant experience for whatever it is you’re applying for, you can usually find a volunteer job somewhere where you can get some kind quickly (like doing phone banks is not THAT far off from customer service). I think that people have so many resumes to choose from that it makes them stupidly judgmental and picky. But I don’t think it’s completely insane to worry that someone who hasn’t worked an entry level job in a while might not do well at it, or will act as though they’re too good to do certain aspects of the job.
Can I ask what general metro area you live in??
My luck has always varied a lot by region. New York and Boston: things are always super-expensive, or else well-picked-through and the good stuff is gone.
The one time I went to a thrift store in Florida: stupendous!
i have exploded my stove-top espresso coffeemaker this way. With the rough-ground beans.
Suddenly the coffeepot starts rattling and shaking on the stovetop, and boiling hot coffee starts shooting out of the spout like a fountain from a horror movie and landing all over the kitchen, regular spurts sort of like the coffeepot wishes it were a steam-engine tooting its horn, except instead of a sound there is just boiling hot coffee flying everywhere… and i have to process the scene and clean up without even having had my first cup of coffee of the day, which somehow seemed like the most inconceivable part of all of the whole scene….
YO! I hope you'll like it here!
(It's my hometown and my one true love, but a) I comment haphazardly and late here, like so b) I really can't afford $20 to watch a dude talk onstage by his lonesome right now, SORRY NICOLE CLIFFE)
I mean, the man clearly knew he'd married up in all regards.