how about that game, the germany fan whispers awkwardly
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How college wrestling star Tiger Mandingo became an HIV scapegoat:
The only question more important than how Johnson became both a media flashpoint and morality tale is why. The nasty racial tone the story took is not surprising, given Johnson’s charged nickname, his white sex partners, and research in Tennessee that shows the law punishes black men more often (and more severely) for HIV-related sex crimes than it does white men.
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I have emailed a dealer for a quote on the car I am interested in. He has requested I call him. I have said: NO I DON’T DO THAT EMAIL ME BACK WITH A NUMBER, I DINE ON MANFLESH. He has written back to tell me about financing numbers! I have said: I AM ONLY INTERESTED IN PRICE, DO NOT BANDY ME ABOUT WITH SUCH THINGS.
watch this space for more
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Anna Holmes about her regrets as a younger writer:
Mostly, what I regret is the ease with which I assumed that others’ prose styles were something not just to study and learn from but to imitate. This chameleonic impulse, a talent I developed at an early age, certainly came in handy during my stints as a writer and editor for women’s service and celebrity magazines — publications that, then and now, demand a cheerful and wholly unremarkable “female” voice — but it also did a fair amount of damage to my writerly sense of self, not to mention my ability to execute stories on issues that had nothing to do with sex tips for singletons, swingy summer dresses or the assignations of Angelina Jolie. My adoption of others’ voices made it even more difficult to find mine, and it wasn’t until I was well into my 30s that I began to realize I could honor other writing styles while also asserting my own. (This development may or may not have been influenced by my entrance into the world of blogging, an environment whose freewheeling, breezy and often very personal approach to prose has inspired any number of now-established writers.)
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Heather Seggel pointed me towards this collection of interviews with gay women who were activists in the 1970s and 1980s, and they’re so fascinating that I’ve been reading a lot of them. Here’s one with Byllye Avery:
At Birth Place I also learned the importance of education around health care procedures. My whole transition from the birthing center to the Black Women’s Health Project was interesting. I started working as a director for a CETA program at Santa Fe Community College in Gainesville and started looking at the lives of these young Black women registered in the program. Because I was the director, I learned when they were out, absenteeism, and I would bring them in to talk to them about why they couldn’t come to class. They were getting minimum wage to come to class, and when they didn’t come they didn’t get paid, so I knew there had to be something that was keeping them from coming. I found out that a lot of them were ill, or had children who were sick, who needed to be taken care of. They just had all kinds of responsibilities. I realized that working women with children need 10 sick days for every child, and 10 days for themselves—but you only get 10 sick days. They just had so many circumstances I had never thought about, including poor health.
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Kate Harding on why she thinks fat people should wear all the bikinis they want to, but why she, personally, NEVER WILL:
Along with Trout, I roll my eyes at thin people who fake-worry that we fatties might just be more comfortable wearing something they find less assaultive. (Personally, I favor bold prints, and once had a friend ask, “Isn’t that a little loud for … someone like you?” Answer: Nope, and Byeee!) But I am indeed more comfortable in public when I’m covered from at least knees to chest. As in, I can relax and go about my business, instead of constantly thinking, I am basically naked right now, yet I am not at home. One of these things must change.
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tbh, I really would vote for basically any politician who said they had an abortion and did not regret it, ON GENERAL PRINCIPLE
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Arthur Miller on the days before air conditioning:
High heat created irrational solutions: linen suits that collapsed into deep wrinkles when one bent an arm or a knee, and men’s straw hats as stiff as matzohs, which, like some kind of hard yellow flower, bloomed annually all over the city on a certain sacred date—June 1st or so. Those hats dug deep pink creases around men’s foreheads, and the wrinkled suits, which were supposedly cooler, had to be pulled down and up and sidewise to make room for the body within.
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Tags: feminism, link roundup, the internet
HAIR MOVEMENT IS A SIGN OF WEAKNESS
I have an honest question about the modesty swim tops the lovely Ms. Harding mentions. Is one supposed to wear a bra underneath? I mean, regular swimsuits are tight enough that they more or less keep my boobs in place, but those modesty tops, being modest, are much looser. I would fear that the fabric would ride up and expose my naked bubbies to the world, defeating the purpose of modesty.
The website appears to have a category for swim bras, so I’m guessing that is at least an option?
I don’t wear a modesty top but due to my intense fear of sun cancer (I am Australian and pale) I usually wear a rash guard and board shorts to the beach, and under the rash guard I wear a bikini. I know this sounds like it would be hot but it’s not really, at least not when you’re wet, and I’m not the sort to lie on the beach reading, especially not in Australia’s hot summers. I mean, 40 degrees Celsius at the beach is unspeakably vile unless you are in the water anyway,
Last summer, I discovered that my rack had outgrown my tankini top over the winter. My make-shift solution that day: an old bra under a fast-drying poly tank top. To my surprise, it was by far the most comfortable I’ve ever been while swimming, so instead of buying a new suit, I wore it all summer long.
By contrast, yesterday I went for my first swim of this summer, and I dug out an old but never-used (so, essentially still new) suit from storage. It’s… fine. I missed the bra, which kept me quite comfortable but also freed me from the anxiety that a knocker might pop out when my extremely energetic nephews climbed on top of me in the pool. My motto: SWIM BRAS 4EVAH
Did anyone read this lovely story about a 19th-century same-sex couple? LESBIANS IN THE WILDERNESS, Y’ALL.
http://www.bostonglobe.com/ideas/2014/06/13/uncom…
“Lesbians in the wilderness” encompasses all my hopes and dreams. THANK YOU
Also, Nicole, if you need guidance for negotiation, take it from the only person who’s a better negotiator than Jack Donaghy.
Soooo…what you wanna do? *snacks*
Goddammit, Alec Baldwin. Just, dammit.
But then the grocery concierge tells you that a five pound bag of potatoes costs $400. Well, that would be shocking, right, because a five pound bag should only cost $200!
I’m pretty sure this is my favorite 30 Rock episode ever.
How much does a gallon of milk cost? Ten dollars??
Grocery concierge
What is business school?
That Arthur Miler article was something else. You can feel the heat.
I LOVED his description of families just languishing together on the grass. Miserable, I’m sure, but also kinda nice?
Yeah, I loved that and everyone on the fire escape. I’m sure it’s just my romantic view from rainy England, but that sounds sort of cool
I mean, I live in NYC where everything smells like garbage right now and I spent a good portion of last night sweating my ass off in Central Park and even I think it was kinda romantic.
I like to read this piece every summer (first year in Chicago we had access to AC) and I can say while the heat turns me into a monster, I love riding through my neighborhood with all the families and kids and old people sitting outside because it feels better or 9 PM on the Lakefront because everyone knows it might be a little cooler than the night time 85. I miss my stoop. But it IS really cool!
Yes!
It kinda reminds me of when our A/C would go out when I was kid (at least once a summer) and my parents and I would sleep on the floor in the living room with every fan we owned going at once. Happy, sweaty memories.
So evocative! I feel kinda drippy and stinky just reading it.
Same!
Hooray for air conditioning! Although the families together in the grass sounds nice.
And I’ve never really been a fan of linen – it’s not much (if any) cooler than other fabrics, it’s often itchy, and it wrinkles when you look at it funny.
This is my favorite summation of summer in New York. I share it on FB every year, it screams “summer” even more than bbqs or the beach.
I did not wear bikinis all through my teenage years, when I was thinnest, because I was convinced I would look horrible. Now, having gained about 20-25 pounds since high school, I adore them. To feel more comfortable in a bigger body is something I never would have expected when I was younger, and I am very grateful.
I have a bikini now and it’s fine, but I’m still kind of grouchy that it’s the best option – at least here, if I want a swimsuit I can either go with bikini, something for a 50-year-old woman, or an actual athlete’s swimsuit. It’s not even just my stomach hanging out of the bikini, it’s that it is a much bigger area to potentially sunburn myself. In a one-piece my stomach is at least safe!
[edit] also, why does everything have to go around your goddamn neck now. it is super uncomfortable and impractical if you want to do any actual swimming.
I found one, ONE, swimsuit with straps that were not tied in a halter. The top and bottom set looks suspiciously exactly like my regular underwear, and I chortle deeply whenever I get to wear it, essentially my skivvies, outside.
I don’t mind having a halter as long as I can tie it securely–I tend to have issues finding non-halter tops that actually fit me well and aren’t sliding around everywhere. Basically I would really like a more water-friendly sports bra top (none of these sliding triangles for me please, they are…not secure) but it’s surprisingly difficult to find for less than $50.
God, this was my problem this year. I was all set to get a bikini but all the cute fatkinis were halter tops. JE REFUSE.
I bought this
http://athleta.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=9746…
SO HAPPY
it’s really comfortable (mainly because it comes in tall sizes) and I will never fear straps falling
Agreed! Harding’s defense of extra material made me very happy. Why is it that cute AND functional one-pieces are so hard to find?
I do have a tankini now that I really like, and it comes with the advantage of only having to peel off the bottoms if you have to pee, so I guess I shouldn’t complain. There really need to be more swimsuits you can move in, though.
I’ll be going to Cape Cod in about a month with the family, and I love going there but I especially love swimming in the ocean while I’m there. The bikini I have for leisurely sitting on the beach in Holland and/or occasionally going in a pool will not cut it, I’ve just kind of realized. I need something that will hold up my boobs and let me swim which I have a feeling will be impossible to find.
Ooh, me too! (Yarmouth, in case you’re also going there…) FWIW, I have been totally converted to Athleta’s suits. I can actually SWIM in them, and lounge on the beach (also, being a Pale Person, I prefer tankinis to anything else – less skin to worry about burning, easier to go to the bathroom).
I found a some beautiful supportive one-pieces at Macy’s a year or two ago, but it helped that I had a $50 gift card (thanks, Discover cashback bonus!)
I’ve had really good luck with Freya, which you can buy through Figleaves or a few other places. They’re not cheap, but they do hold up really well, and I was able to buy IN MY BRA SIZE with STRAPS not a neck thing and that was worth the money to me.
Not too exciting, but this one-piece has an underwire and normal straps!
I have this swimming costume! It’s good – slightly too low-cut for comfort, and the straps are a bit too narrow, but I wear it for proper swimming and it works well. I don’t even bother looking at non-underwire swimming costumes now – I like the support.
I have pretty much no shame about wearing both t-shirt and boardshorts in the water to avoid too much sun. I also always bring a long-sleeve shirt – lightweight, button down – to the beach to cover up. Sunburn is a drag.
WHY is everything a halter top? Ouch! 🙁
Have you looked around at Title IX? They have one-piece suits that look cute and sell bikinis by bra size, which feels like a really smart idea to me.
http://www.titlenine.com/category/swim.do?nType=1
YES GOOD EMAILING WORK NICOLE DEMAND FACTS ABOUT THAT MOTOR CAR
i am drawing strength from your car saga because i have to sell a car AND buy a new one with the money the old car fetches and uggghhhhhhh
ugghhhhhh
I am right there with you, with the added twist that I know the new car I’m getting–it’s my mom’s, and I’m buying it with whatever I can get for my current car, so I want to get a good price for it, etc etc etc. ughhhhhhhh.
As a person who is currently about 3 years out (fingers crossed) from driving her 1998 Honda into the ground, I am also watching all of this car purchase negotiation talk with squinty eyes and my face very close to the computer screen. Keep it coming, please!
I’m digging this epic car saga, too! MUST KEEP KNOWING!
Germany ain’t whispering awkwardly. I don’t even watch the games, I know the outcome by how many times per match I hear fireworks go off, and by the extended horn honking firework extravaganza that continues a good hour after each victory. And, THE FLAGS. EVERYWHERE. I even bought yellow, red and black bobby pines the other day because regular ones were not available!
Germany is still totally skittish about any suspected nationalism in every other context, but football is where they let loose.
It is the only outlet they have!
This is what football/being a sportsfan actually is to most men…Only socially acceptable show of emotions. That’s why I forgive them ( a little bit) for being so stupid and annoying and cliché about it.
I’ve decided I can quite support a thesis statement along the lines of “the World Cup is the last truly acceptable nexus of nationalism, which is increasingly (seen as) dangerous in virtually every context,” but I’ve also just begun thinking about it. Germany seems like “example paragraph #1” under that header, though.
Counterpoint: Eurovision?
Maybe that’s why America doesn’t need soccer: we’re just nationalist all the time.
Yes, I had to explain to my visiting in-laws that, no, it is not usual for every car, child, and building to be plastered with German flags.
Also, I have spent one year preaching the merits of air conditioning (and ice) to my German colleagues, but they just don’t get it…
My mother moved to Munich a couple years back from a relatively air condition-free place (Northern California) and she remains baffled at the complete opposition to even opening the windows.
That’s weird. In other circles in Germany (ones that I move in more, I guess), there is a cult of “fresh air,” and opening the windows all the time, especially at night when you’re sleeping.
Maybe what you’re describing is a Bavarian thing?
it’s everywhere in the Netherlands too, but the Dutch tend to be much more casually accepting of nationalism. Basically everyone is reusing their Queens/King’s Day stuff.
Cosigned 100%.
I lived in Germany in 2006, and one Sunday during the World Cup a stoic old woman solemnly waved a large German flag from the pulpit at church. All the the other old people in the congregation were tittering uncomfortably at each other, but then justifying it with “but it’s the World Cup…”
Swimsuits! I intend to buy this lovely little number before my vacation. Hopefully I will manage not to blow all of my vacation money on their gorgeous dresses, although…
I have that swimsuit in black and white and I ADORE IT. I’ve worn it for 3 summers so far and it hasn’t let me down. I hope it will make you similarly happy!
THAT DRESS!! I love that color combination so much.
Aaaaand, that’s another fashion bookmark added to the pooter. Great link!
Yesss I have this in green gingham and it is perfect! Puts everything in the right places without having to *hide* anything under monstrous ruffles.
Hiii guys I promise I’m going to read links in like 2 seconds but I just wanted to gush about how I saw Andrew Bird for free (!) in Central Park last night and he was amazing and there were fireflies everywhere and it was the most best. If you’re into him and you haven’t yet seen him live try to do it post haste because he was just fantastic.
Also I have a theory that he is the second coming of Whistlin’ Jesus because how else do you learn to whistle like that, it’s really something!
I was there too! He was really, really good. I would love to see him in a more intimate setting so I could hear more of that lovely higher register he used in one of the last songs. And his otherworldly whistling! I kept looking around suspiciously for a recording or some sort of whistling machine because it was TOO perfect.
Were you near anyone who was dancing? I was behind this one guy who danced EXACTLY like a cockatiel with his bobbing head and torso. It was the best.
Ha! During Luke Temple’s set I was near these three women who were dancing all over the place, you may have noticed them as well because they were the only ones dancing and they were just GOING FOR IT. I did not notice any cockatielery, but during the encore I was near this really drunk lady who got on this dude’s shoulders and blocked everyone’s view for a minute.
I was there, too! And I think I was also near the guy who danced like a cockatiel. Unless there was more than one…
Such bird. So Vincent. Black Rainbow.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5CJGCbs_qA
THE GAAAAMMEE!! We put it on at work about 15 minutes in, and I thought for a while that I was watching highlights from some other game where a lot of handsome men scored a ton of goals. TURNS OUT, it was actually happening in real time!! Go Deutschland!!
I put it on surreptitiously at my desk, and four goals in I blew my cover when one of my coworkers walked over to ask me a question and I was just pointing at the computer going “Do you see this? Do you SEE THIS?”
I’m happy too, but it still feels weird when games go so lopsided. It reminded me of those Patriots games several years ago that they would win, like, 49-0 and everyone in Boston went Yay! but also ouch, oh man…
Or this year’s superbowl, where I (in Seattle) couldn’t even jokingly shit-talk my family in Colorado because it was just too much.
“Overcoming body shame is not about feeling like you deserve to wear a bikini, specifically. It’s about feeling like you deserve to do what you enjoy doing, even if other people think you haven’t earned the right.”
<3 Kate Harding so much.
My swimsuit is just a sports bra and bike shorts, because at some point I realized that even though I feel fine about my body I don’t really like it when the general public can view my pubic hair. Anything can be your swimsuit if you are able to swim in it!
AGREED. I’ve worn a one-piece for years, but I’m thinking about switching to a tankini and bike shorts- or maybe a rashguard shirt and bike shorts for especially sunny days. I just feel weird about wearing what are basically panties out in public. Hooray for swimming choices!!
I like swimming in bike shorts as long as they have those rubbery grip things along the edge on the thighs. Those are heaven and don’t ride up.
also? if I were to ” do something about” my pubic hair, i would never be able to do anything but encase my thighs in ice, because it stubbles immediately and grows halfway down my thighs before it changes into the softer, yet still dense, leg fur. my genes are the especially hairy ones. so i refuse to put effort into something painful that no one sees except for swim season.
i wouldn’t bother even worrying about swimsuits, except that i don’t want people to think “gross”. i don’t like the way cotton bottoms sag when wet, so i get the combo ones from the nearby sports & outdoors store. Regular bottoms (full butt-coverage, too, which is nice – no picking out wedgies all day) with an outer shorts layer, all in that nice bathing suit material, and only $15.
Maybe next year I’ll look into bike shorts with a bikini bottom to get more variety…
Also, people who insist on calling you when you’ve made it clear that you prefer email are THE WORST.
A couple weeks ago at work, I emailed a dude, and in response, he called one of my coworkers and left a message asking her to tell me to call him back. Bluh??? What is wrong with you, dude? Just reply to my email like a reasonable human being. Cease this absurd game of phone tag!
NO phones are the devillll! Was this the dude who stole your papers because I am just going to ascribe as many wrongs as possible to that asshole.
It wasn’t him, but the collective hatred that the Toasties bear for that guy really warms my heart. <3
YES YES I HATE THAT. Yesterday I had to email a guy to ask a yes-or-no question, and his response was “Yes, but call me Thursday to discuss.”
NO. I am not calling you! There is nothing to discuss! I asked a yes or no question, you said yes, that is ALL I NEED TO KNOW THANK YOU.
Sometimes people – and I don’t want to generalize, but it’s virtually always men – will call me and say, “I just got your email.” Okay, so you can reply to my email then *click*
It’s especially baffling when they’re calling to get clarification on something I wrote, because often I have to look things up, and it’s like, what, you want to stay on the line while I silently Google things? You are wasting your own time. Send me a written list of questions and get back to doing your own job!
Even worse! When they email then call to ask if you got the email! And worse still, when they walk DOWN THE HALL TO YOUR OFFICE to ask if you got the email.
A former boss of mine did that! She was otherwise lovely in all respects, but that drove me batty.
She would also tell me, “Email me an explanation of what you did to resolve XYZ situation in case it comes up again” or “Forward me the email from Jane so I’m in the loop” and then she would come see me and say, “I don’t have time to read your email, just tell me what you wrote.”
Yup. I don’t mind so much if it’s something quick the person then realised could have been handled F2F, but the ones where it’s a question I’m going to need to put some thought into, and just stands there waiting….ugh.
My (male) coworker yells across the room “Hey, Knopesaurus, I responded to your email.” I KNOW BECAUSE THE EMAIL NOTIFICATION POPPED UP THANK YOU.
If I don’t recognize the number, I often won’t answer the phone, because I just KNOW they are going to ask me a question that I don’t have an immediate answer to. So just leave me a message or email me, and then I can research and GET BACK TO YOU.
I hate voicemails on my cell phone, but nothing is worse than someone calling 4x in a row and not leaving a message. If it was that important, you could leave a message.
Also email has the lovely benefit of PROVIDING A PAPER TRAIL. I just generally assume that people who refuse to email even in the face of obvious email preferences don’t want to leave a paper trail, have something to hide, and should not be trusted.
Paper trails! Not just for ass covering, they’re also useful for being able to go back and reference, because people mumble on phones or you miss a word etc etc. I like being able to reread instructions/ideas etc.
Yes exactly! Also, SEARCHABLE, so if I want to remember what when we talked about, Idunno, last quarter’s board game development vis a vis Scrabbletron 3000, I can just search for it rather than trying to find the notes I didn’t take.
And this is what makes me paranoid that the compulsive callers (so often men! coincidence??) are actively AVOIDING the paper trail!
Plus also when people ask you for something you already did, you can “helpfully” forward them the email you sent them a week ago with the completed project and other useful info, which is my favorite passive-aggressive work thing to do.
It’s that or they can’t type for shit. In which case, please learn to type and stop inconveniencing me to avoid inconveniencing yourself.
Ugh, yes, I have a client who just asked me for my phone number (we otherwise have corresponded almost exclusively through email). I felt like it would be rude to say no, so I said “here’s my number, but SERIOUSLY IT WOULD BE BEST TO JUST USE EMAIL.”
I recently got an email asking for a phone call re a car we were selling on Craigslist, and it turned out to be some complicated scam–a few days later I got a text and a call purporting to be from Google Voice giving me a “confirmation code.” Which I didn’t enter because I never signed up for Google Voice, but it’s apparently a thing where if you do enter it they can use your number somehow and you end up with charges on your phone bill?
I don’t really get it, but I signed up for Google Voice myself to counteract it, and called my carrier to say “hey, this weird thing happened” so I have a note in my file if I have to dispute charges. And everything seems fine, except that I feel gross and violated and kind of unclean. :/
This makes me so gd suspicious. Why don’t you want it in writing, dude? NO. I have dealt with your squirmy, slimy brethren before. Written record.
(I was possibly not equipped to work in particularly squirmy, slimy industries? I dunno, now I just like written records for anything professional or business-y.)
I had trouble sleeping last night so I filled out a survey from JD Power and associates about my recent purchase of a new car, one of the questions was about my experience requesting an online quote from a dealer. I said NEVER AGAIN the whole point of requesting an email quote is so that you don’t have to speak to anyone but they never give you a price, they just want to schedule appointments. It’s a waste of my very valuable time, whenever a dealer does this I post 100 negative reviews (I don’t really, but that’s what I said in the survey.)
I learned after I purchased my car that if you have a Costco membership they’ll do negotiating for you with some dealers, I’m not a member but I would joined just for that.
In the late 90’s I bought my first car using the pre-negotiated price that AAA set up with VW. It was such a nice car buying experience. We sat down and the dealer told us this is the price, no extras, add-ons or up-selling. All we had to do is decide what color we wanted. The week before we had gone to a regular dealer and they were charging $2,000 to $3,000 more just to get a non-black or white car. I still can not believe people would actually pay $3,000 more just to have a yellow car.
So…what colour did you get?
Green!
Whenever someone says they were born in the wrong decade, I want to remind them that each decade is less racist/sexist and MORE AIR CONDITIONED.
AND TOILETS.
Although apparently Mohenjo-daro had indoor plumbing in 2600BC so I don’t know why human progress didn’t hang on to that. Just think what kind of advanced spacefuture toilets we would have by now.
That game was terrible to watch and I’m not even a Brazil fan. So humiliating. :\ Once they cut to the little Brazilian boy in the stands just SOBBING at, like, the 30th minute or whatever, I knew it could only go downhill from there…
This man:
I saw a picture from after the match where he gave his World Cup to a Germany fan! OLD MAN, YOU ARE GREAT.
Byllye Avery rocks! I heard her on a public affairs radio show and once as the keynote speaker at a women’s health conference. That was twenty years ago and I still think of the things she said (which no one else is saying) all the time even now.
Oh, I’m late to the party, but:
Obvious Child is one of the better movies I’ve seen recently and you should see it if you can. It’s a romantic comedy about abortion and it’s incredibly solid and funny.
I laughed harder in Obvious Child than I have in most movies ever.
I almost hit my head off the seat in front of me at one point because I laughed so hard I sort of collapsed forward.
Aaaaah, I’ve been wanting to see this, and the night I was planning on seeing it I had a friend unexpectedly visit who would have been very, very uncomfortable with the material. I’ll be waiting for DVD, I guess. So glad to hear it’s great!
I am all for fat body positivity, but it DEFINITELY goes too far sometimes, and shames thinner women and assumes that women who don’t wanna be in a bikini at all times are somehow “ashamed” of them. No, the beauty of body positivity is that you are free to wear whatever you want, be as covered or uncovered as you are comfortable with.
Ooooh, if we’re talking about body positivity gone wonky, can we talk about All About That Bass? I’d really love to see what the commentariat has to say about it.
Hadn’t heard it so just went and read the lyrics…….and :-/ :-/ :-/
I understand the need to jab back a bit, because fat shaming is so pervasive and so horrible, but lines like “You know I won’t be no stick thin you silly Barbie doll”–really? That’s not body positivity. That’s not leveling deserved criticism at advertisers/fashion/unrealistic standards of beauty/the male gaze, that’s calling individual women “silly Barbie dolls” and insulting their bodies as “stick thin.”
And what is this:
“I’m bringing booty back
Go ahead and tell them skinny bitches Hey!
No, I’m just playing I know you think you’re fat,
But I’m here to tell you that,
Every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top!”
Even leaving aside the “skinny bitches” part, I don’t get it. You’re just kidding because you know that secretly I think I’m fat, and you’re here to reassure me? Actually, no, I know I’m not fat, and I’m very aware of the immense privilege that comes from being thin in today’s society. But that still doesn’t mean that I want or deserve people constantly commenting on my body, or telling me that something about it/me is wrong in the guise of “body positivity.” No thanks.
Also boo to the implication that fat=not perfect!
Not to mention this bit:
“Yeah, my momma she told me don’t worry about your size
She says, boys they like a little more booty to hold at night”
:-/ indeed
I am sad because it is a very catchy song, but yeah, the messages it espouses re: bodies is NOT GOOD AT ALL.
Can I move to Nevada to vote for Lucy Flores? Because I totally would.
First legal drink update: at home in Cleveland I had a whiskey lemonade, it was adequate. (If anyone’s in Cleveland please recommend some bars!) Then I went to visit friends in DC and NY and I had many mimosas and pomegranate martinis and it was a far better time. Also I swung by Baltimore to visit Hopkins. I feel like such a jetsetter! But now I’m at home in bed. Being 21 is pretty good.
Velvet tango room has the best, although pricy, cocktails. Fairmount martini & wine bar is a good option for the east side. Momocho or Lopez for tasty margaritas. Greenhouse tavern if you want a good rooftop cocktail. For wine I like Market ave wine bar. Beer: bier market/tremont taphouse/countless tremont bars. General runners up: Toast or Crop have good drinks & food. Happy hour with good food deals: Luxe.
Thank you thank you!! This is amazing.
Were you visiting as a prospective grad student, by any chance?
Yes, for Bloomberg SPH! Are you at Hopkins?
That’s exactly where I work! 🙂 There have been so many prospective/new students around lately. I do admin work so I can’t say I know a ton about the academic program, but if you have any questions about the area or anything like that I’d be happy to help! You can email me at [email protected]
I’m give-and-take about the Anna Holmes piece. Most of my writing when I was younger was that sort of voice-borrowing pastiche. I suspect that’s true of most young writers in general. The thing is, doing that kind of writing might not be artistic heavy lifting, but it’s quick and breezy and fun to do, and more importantly for “art” it’s good, easy practice. Do it long enough and you start to figure out why certain things go here and there in a way you can’t learn from reading alone. And unlike writing “your” voice, which sometimes feels like trying to invent a language as you go, you have a sense what words to say. There’s a shorter distance between idea and execution. There was a piece on The Toast a while ago about getting back in touch with “fun” youthful writing (I’m sorry, I can’t remember which one). I wouldn’t publish something written like that, but I think there’s something to be said for it.
I was just thinking about fatkinis yesterday. I love the idea of wearing one, of showing the world that I am not ashamed of my body. My current bathing suit combo probably comes across as body-loathing – a water-aerobics suit with legs and a rash guard on top. All of my combinations are either black or dark blue, colours that signify a desire to take up negative space.
But – I swim in the ocean. I LOVE swimming in the ocean. I love to stay in for hours, swimming and just noodling around looking at whatever’s floating by, and sometimes whatever’s floating by is prickly or squishy or is a jellyfish which is both squishy and prickly. (sting-y, really, and the lion’s mane jellies can hurt)
I feel like I’m dressing a paradox – on land, I look constrained, covered up, but in the water, the coverage gives me much more freedom to venture out from shore, to be bold where a ‘bolder’ swimsuit would limit me to activities along the shoreline.
Sounds like your only solution is to just spend more time in the ocean, sorry. 😀
But if you want me to provide a justification for buying a super-cute new bikini, I’d say you could just wear it whenever you’re heading to a swimming pool or a larger social gathering… I know mine goes tubing/rafting, because those are occasions where less clothing = more comfortable for sure.
And kudos for being the bold ocean swimmer that I am not. For sure, being comfortable doing whatever you want to do is the most important part of it all.
You never need to feel apologetic for embracing function over form! Swimming in the ocean for hours sounds divine. Your water aerobics suit with legs sounds like an environmental suit of armour, letting you explore the aquatic world. How bad ass is that?
I swim 5-7K a week, and the suits I buy pack everything (and there’s a fair bit of everything) in to reduce drag as much as possible. I don’t care how it looks as long as it gives me the hydrodynamic profile of a dolphin. Or a killer whale.
I have pretty much no shame about wearing both t-shirt and boardshorts in the water to avoid too much sun. I also always bring a long-sleeve shirt – lightweight, button down – to the beach to cover up. Sunburn is a drag.
Honestly, covering up is way easier than sunscreen. Totally endorse this stance.
(And I say this as a sporty outdoors beach person.)
BOARDSHORTS4EVER.
I have mixed feelings about bikinis – I don’t think anyone should have to wear them or not wear them, I hate all halter tops and will only wear swimsuit tops that are basically fitted bras, I resisted bikinis for a long time but have to admit they’re convenient when you want to run around town secretly wearing a swimsuit under your clothes. But I have no mixed feelings at all about the word “bikini,” which fills me with unadulterated rage. Why does no one seem to remember or care that this word comes from a once-populated island that we used for nuclear bomb testing, an island that is still irradiated and whose people are still exiled? The word “bikini” makes me think of the people of Bikini dying of famine on the island we moved them to, of the fallout drifting down onto the children of Rongelap. You know why the swimsuit has that name? Ha ha this swimsuit is really small you know what else is really small? The island of Bikini, after we bombed it. Why is it okay to name a swimsuit after imperialism and thyroid cancer?
Sorry, rant over. I wasn’t expecting to get quite so ragey.
That's weird. In other circles in Germany (ones that I move in more, I guess), there is a cult of "fresh air," and opening the windows all the time, especially at night when you're sleeping.
Maybe what you're describing is a Bavarian thing?