Into Central Air: A Journey to the Limits of Climate Control
Do You Really Need a High-Performance Couch?
Fourteen High-Altitude Ultramarathons You’ll Consider Watching On EPSN7
In 2007, Chad Kenniwit reached behind him during what should have been a routine remote grab. He never found it. Six years later, Inside assembles an international team to search the recliner to find what Chad couldn’t.
Nine Rising Couch-Surfing Stars To Watch
Whatcha Up To?
Outfits You Can Clean With A Swiffer Refill Swatch
What Happened To America’s Coziest Cat?
How To Make Your Own Tea Cozies In A Life-Threatening Emergency
Vibram Five-Finger Oven Mitts
How To Rest Your Quads
Whitewater Rafting In The Yukon: What On Earth Would You Want To Do That For?
Which Cocoa Supplements Are Right For You?
Bridge Mix, Trail Mix, or Chex? The Debate Rages On.
We Tested Some Shoes. They’re Pretty Much All Good.
Something Warm, Something Crunchy, Something Cheesy, Something Doughy
Sitting Theory: Are You Maximizing Your Recumbent Potential?
Reading In Bed: What You Don’t Know About Wrist Strain Might Inconvenience You
CrossFit Champ Rich Froning’s Fitness Regimen: We’re Sure It’s Probably Very Difficult
Sure, I Could Eat Something About Now
Eleven Lap Blankets You Can’t Afford Not To Own — And Why A Slanket Might Just Ruin Your Life
The Best Possible Routes To The Kitchen
Tags: being inside, going inside, hobbies, inside magazine, interests, staying inside, the great outdoors
I would subscribe to this magazine. I’d probably even pitch an article ‘Shut-in beauty tips: No need for sunscreen!’.
Now I can tell people that my shut-in behaviour is investigative journalism for Inside Magazine!
“Cardigans that are Basically Housecoats, and Other Clothing Items That Are Secretly Pyjamas”
“Knit or Rubber-Soled Slippers? An Investigation.”
“I Think You Could Drink More Cups Of Tea Than That.”
Other Clothing Items That Are Secretly Pyjamas
Yessssss
Open Door Bathroom Breaks: Insight Into Your Personality
My poor husband. I pretty much exclusively pee with the door open.
My housemate does that. He has his own bathroom, so I never see him peeing, but I can hear it. It’s kind of upsetting.
In an old apartment building the walls were nice and thick, but between floors? Nada. I distinctly remember studying in my room one very quiet afternoon, when I heard our upstairs neighbour go to the bathroom and I could hear the peeing noises as distinctly as if they were in the room with me. Oh it was awful.
I should also mention that my housemate is 76.
I leave it slightly ajar. I attribute my reluctance to fully close the door to being locked in the bathroom at age 4 by Terrible Old Lady Babysitter. Never really got over it.
…intentionally locked in?
YES. Because she wouldn’t give me a full glass of milk, and when my cousin and I asked her for it, she called us rude and locked him in his bedroom and me in the bathroom for the rest of the night. (This was at my cousin’s apartment in NYC.)
So we were traumatized, and my parents and aunt and uncle were ripshit when they got home.
Who would ever think trail mix could outclass bridge mix? Bridge mix is covered in chocolate and therefore infinitely better.
Also, Chex Mix is much better if you make it yourself old-school style.
You are correct on both these points, there are no arguments to the contrary.
REAL CHEX MIX, she hollered, the recipe for which is not the recipe on the Chex site lists as “The Original Chex Party Mix,” THOSE LIARS. Actual original Chex mix has a much higher butter-to-cereal ratio, turning some of those Chex squares into crispy dark butter-soaked nuggets.
I made proper Chex mix one Christmas — at surprising expense! — and presented it packed up in airtight bags inside beautifully decorated homemade boxes (with little windows, even, so you could see the Chex mix nestled inside!). The recipients of the boxes received it with a polite blandness that made me want to snatch it all away and take it home with me. NEVER AGAIN, INGRATES. All Chex mix stays at my house from now on.
(I have feelings about Chex mix, evidently.)
You can give me homemade Chex mix any time and it won’t even make it to my kitchen cupboard before I devour it. If you gave it to me at a party it wouldn’t even make it home. It would find safe harbour in my belly long before that.
My mom sends me REAL CHEX MIX every once in a while when my FaceBook posts get too depressing because she wants to cheer me up. She once sent me an entire batch, it was a big box, and it was the only thing I ate, mostly laying in bed (a friend had just died, I was pretty down), for days until it was all gone.
My mom is the best sometimes.
For my birthday, the student employee in my office made bags of puppy chow (like muddy buddies I guess?) but with NUTELLA. She is the best student employee in the entire world.
LET ME HIRE HER. She is clearly destined to do great things.
I mean, I don’t see any trails inside, so…
Tell me more about maximizing my recumbent potential.
Shut up and take my money – where do I subscribe!?!
I Don’t Care That It’s A Beautiful Day Outside
Non-Verbal Techniques For Telling Your Room-mate To Shut Up About Work Goddammit, Mythbusters is On
The Flushing of ‘Ace of Cakes’; The Full Scandalous Story
Wait is that last one reality-based? What happened?
I’ve begun telling people that I hate sunshine. Mostly I just hate (a) bugs and (b) squinting, but this is a good shorthand for “I want to be inside, thx.”
My husband observes that if I didn’t eat so much garlic, he’d think I was a vampire.
“Which side is more comfortable lay on? We have five tips to help you figure it out!”
ETA:
“Substitutions: how to make the delicious recipe you found online without having to run out to the store.”
Also, kudos to you all for discovering the words of my House: “Sure, I Could Eat Something About Now”
I love Substitutions – yes, please, tell me how to make that cake when I only have whole wheat flour and my cocoa is processed?
You make brownies instead. DONE.
“Make brownies instead” is my mantra
“Are You Watching Enough Television?”
Also, I need this actually right now for real: “Outfits You Can Clean With A Swiffer Refill Swatch”
Installing a Dog Door: Worth the Trouble Just So You Don’t Have to Get Up So Often?
Alternative: never shut your actual door. That way you don’t have to turn the knob, which could aggravate the mild wrist strain you got from reading in bed.
this is exactly what we do…put up with flies in summer and colness in winter just so the dog can let himself out!
Nine Tips For Not Feeling Shame When The UPS Guy Finds You In Pyjamas And Unbrushed Hair At 4 PM*
*this article appears in the edition of Inside Magazine which is available only in that alternate universe where the UPS guy actually rings your doorbell instead of slapping a missed delivery notification and driving away
And then finds you wearing the exact same thing the next day and gives you a Look
Related: the dangers of Amazon Prime
Mini-blind Technology: Adjusting Your Shade for Maximum Indoor Climate Stability
Is It Worth Cleaning The Cat Hair Off Of Your Clothes? *
*No.
That would require an initial article called “How To Clean the Cat Hair Off Your Clothes,” with tips like 1. Don’t get cats, 2. Get those hairless cats, 3. Keep your clothes in an airtight bubble with airlock seals like on the space shuttle, and then 4. Resign yourself to the cat hair.
“Wearing Clothes that are the Color of your Cat- Why Goths Have An Unfair Advantage”
Honey, Have You Seen My _______
“Working from home: The dream, the reality.”
“Freelancers confess: I never get out of my pyjamas!”
“The sun: Why you don’t need to see it anyway.”
“Cats: Natures excuse for not leaving the sofa”
“Take It Away, Penny: Replacing Human Interaction With Simulacra Made From Household Objects”
Oatmeal: What do you put in yours?
Blankets: They’re really just large scarves
Peaches, honey, and butter, thank you (this message brought to you by my lunch, and also my dinner last night.)
yummmm
i’m a fan of: honey, smoked salt, almonds
Cinnamon, raisins, peanut butter, and a pinch of salt.
I put the same things in real oatmeal and refrigerator oatmeal, but stirring the peanut butter into the refrigerator oatmeal is more work.
Oh, and a little bit of brown sugar! I don’t know how I forgot that.
Craisins, walnuts, cinnamon, splash of cream
Only recently have I figured out the magic of hot granola: it’s basically pre-loaded oatmeal, so I don’t even have to open all those cabinets to find the oatmeal ingredients!
But when I do make my own: milk, pecans and Trader Joe’s cookie butter
marmalade
Exciting future plans:
cinnamon and a tiny bit of chilli
make with chai instead of milk*
*if anyone wants to try that, I feel like I should mention that tea inhibits absorption of iron, which oats have a lot of, so maybe don’t do that if you’re anaemic
RE: these two headlines:
Sitting Theory: Are You Maximizing Your Recumbent Potential?
Reading In Bed: What You Don’t Know About Wrist Strain Might Inconvenience You
Please be advised that I have discovered a book entitled THE ART OF LYING DOWN and I am working on a review to submit to INSIDE Magazine as we speak.
I feel pretty secure in my skills when it comes to lounging and relaxing and basically being recumbent as much as possible, but then I saw that title (by German author Bernd Brunnar) and had an attack of lack-of-confidence, maybe I can do it better, maybe 12 hours a day horizontal isn’t really enough??? so I searched high and low for it (literally: I had to go to THREE libraries before my university library was able to pull up uBorrow and find the one copy in the state of Florida, apparently). I also found that this guy is pretty cool? but like no one carries his books, because translations or whatever, so I also picked up A History of Aquariums and Bears: A Brief History while visiting the three libraries.
Anyway. The Art of Lying Down, y’all. The first chapter is “Are you lying down now?”, iirc (sorry my copy is at home, on my bed (naturally))
Mallory! You are not helping. I have been whining about being unable to keep my eyes open for more than 5 hours at a time as I recover from surgery. Just taking a shower exhausts me, so I tend to wear pajamas for the few days between showers. I sit a lot. I read (The Toast) a lot. I make tea a lot. I am forbidden to drive and too tired to go outdoors anyway. At least little dogs require me to get 30 seconds of sun every time they must go outside. But mostly I sleep. My hair is disgusting. You are not helping.
Do I Really Have To Put On Pants?: A Handy Quick Reference Guide
Maximize Your Undressing Speed: A Post-Work Guide To Ensure You’re Not Wearing Those Pants For A Second Longer Than Absolutely Necessary
It’s Not A Big Deal If The People In The Apartment Across The Street Catch A Blurred Glimpse Of Your Boobs As You Rush Back To The Kitchen For A Spoon.
Watering Your Plants in the Windowsill: Wardrobe Malfunctions are No Big Deal!
Is Your Tit Hanging Out of Your Shirt? An Investigative Report
You’ll probably run afoul of your advertisers if you question the need for a high-performance couch, though. Better: “Ten High-Performance Couches YOU NEED NOW!”
Make The Most Out Of Your Summer: Subscribe To Netflix
Keeping Things at Hand: The Search for a Velcro Suit
More Energy Efficient, Less Risk– Sleeping in Your Recliner.
The Demonic Qualities of Light and How to Avoid Them
Investigation Discovery Shows That Show Why Leaving The Apartment Is a Bad Idea!
My Kingdom, My Couch
Comfort, Thy Name is “Omnia with Dual Motors”
Sex and Other Undignified Acts: A Compendium of Harshing Repose
You're quite welcome! Take it easy. You're in my thoughts 🙂
this is exactly what we do…put up with flies in summer and colness in winter just so the dog can let himself out!
I have lived the lost-remote nightmare when the DVD player remote vanished. We had to overnight a new one from Amazon. It was never found (theory: fell into a Burger King bag and was thrown away).
12 Essential Items for Your Couch Nest
It’s 2pm: Do You Know Where Your Lip Balm Is?
Is a Living-Room Drinks Fridge in Your Future?
Oh, Gawd yes! The living room drinks fridge is in my future, with the vacuuming robot, and a self-cleaning Fudge-O-Matic portable brownie maker and dispenser. The latter is a high tech EZ-Bake Oven that won’t give you second degree burns and doesn’t make crappy little crap cakes— only the best for me, thank you.
I have lived the lost-remote nightmare when the DVD player remote vanished. We had to overnight a new one from Amazon. It was never found (theory: fell into a Burger King bag and was thrown away).
12 Essential Items for Your Couch Nest
It's 2pm: Do You Know Where Your Lip Balm Is?
Is a Living-Room Drinks Fridge in Your Future?
Oh, Gawd yes! The living room drinks fridge is in my future, with the vacuuming robot, and a self-cleaning Fudge-O-Matic portable brownie maker and dispenser. The latter is a high tech EZ-Bake Oven that won't give you second degree burns and doesn't make crappy little crap cakes— only the best for me, thank you.
I recently discovered a game changing recipe for summer cocoa. Fill glass with ice, add milk, dump in blender. Add standard cocoa ingredients (cocoa powder, sugar, tiny bit of salt, tiny bit of instant coffee to enhance cocoa flavor, vanilla if you want) plus about 1/8 t xanthan gum, blend. It’s currently my favorite summer thing.
(The xanthan gum helps keep the ice and milk from separating, thus creating an even ice crystal distribution. You could probably get by without it.)
marmalade
Exciting future plans:
cinnamon and a tiny bit of chilli
make with chai instead of milk*
*if anyone wants to try that, I feel like I should mention that tea inhibits absorption of iron, which oats have a lot of, so maybe don't do that if you're anaemic