I like this story. This story is good. Everyone in this story is alive.
A 57-year-old woman drove herself to a hospital after she was mauled by a brown bear in Alaska, state troopers said Wednesday.
Thomas sustained substantial injuries, but they are not believed to be life-threatening, according to troopers spokeswoman Megan Peters.
Peters said she was unable to discuss the woman’s specific injuries because of privacy issues.
“The trooper told me that when she checked herself into the hospital, he said it was almost like the people who were working on her were more shocked than she was,” Peters said. “The trooper said she was very pragmatic and calm about everything.”
Good good good. So far so good.
Salmon were actively spawning in a nearby stream as Thomas hiked alone with her dog and a friend’s dog, Peters said. The dogs ran off, then returned shortly with the bear running after them.
After the attack, Thomas walked 1 ½ miles back to her truck. She found one of the dogs while walking back and the other dog was waiting at her vehicle. After arriving in the local hospital, Thomas was eventually flown to Providence Alaska Medical Center in Anchorage, about 150 miles northwest of Cordova.
Thomas declined a request for an interview with The Associated Press, according to hospital spokesman Mikal Canfield.
Too busy bench-pressing the other patients, no doubt. No time for interviews. She has to stay in bear-fighting shape.
Troopers said the trail is now closed for a week. There are no plans to look for the bear.
The attack did not appear to be predatory in nature, according to Peters, who noted the attack was likely prompted by the dogs in an area where salmon have already begun to die.
“The thought process is that the bear was more than likely being irritated by the dogs and also protecting its food source,” she said. “So it was a bear being a bear.”
Nobody look for the bear, (which presumably has honeypots stuck on both its hands) nobody interview that woman (who is presumably doing weighted lunges up and down the ICU). Everyone just go home.
Old women who live in Alaska are just better and more badass than all of us.
I grew up in Alaska, and can report that this is the case.
Me too. I’m losing my AK cred though as I melt away in the Arizona desert.
Absolutely. One of my friends who works with Fish, Wildlife and Parks here in Montana was up in the wilderness in Northwest Montana, near the Yaak, and they came upon a deer that had been hit by a car and was still alive. While these FWP dudes were figuring out what to do, an old mountain woman pulls up in her truck, walks over, unsheathes her knife, calmly dispatches the deer, gives the guys a “Well you weren’t going to do it,” look, then hopped back in her truck and drove off.
Badasses.
She rocks. Also I’m glad they’re not going after the bear. Bears are marvellous.
Bears are weird because there really seems to be no standard recommended strategy for avoiding a mauling when confronted by one. Mountain cats? Get loud and weird. Coyotes? Howl and hope they raise you as one of their own during your spirit journey through the desert. Bears? Depends on the breed. Don’t climb a tree. Don’t yell at it. Don’t stand still. Don’t run.
Just get mauled and then be a badass and show off your scars.
Yeah. There are recommended strategies, but they require a mental flow chart and the clarity of mind to read bear body language to navigate which makes it hard. That being said, if anyone gets a chance to watch Staying Safe in Bear Country, do so! It is fantastic and one of the bear researchers getting filmed being charged/threatened/peacefully avoided by bears looks like a pretty badass lady. Sadly, it doesn’t seem to be available online for free.
I was reading an article about a black cop reflecting on his experiences, and one thing really struck me—he talked about how he prepared for dealing with with unexpected situations by thinking about them ahead of time, so that when the time came he had already decided what to do (in his case, treat people with respect, allow them dignity, behave ethically and lawfully). The same thing applies in bear country. The protocols seem complicated, but deciding ahead of time simplifies a lot of things. Also they mostly boil down to: don’t surprise the bear and give it lots of space. Which is good advice for dealing with most beings with agency. (With special notes about etiquette around salmon streams, dead moose, and what to do if a black bear starts following you quietly.)
All of the bears I have encountered have nopetupused in the opposite direction. Cougars on the otherhand give me the willies.
Yeah, the more I run into bears, the less worried I am honestly, since all but two have nopetupused away at surprising speed or not even seen me, and the other two just needed a firm “No, bear, go away”. And that’s given that up until recently my job was to cover myself in fish bits and wander around streams during salmon-spawning periods. Moose on the other hand? I have been charged by moose twice and they make me nervous. I’ve had more trouble from wolves than bears, actually.
I’m with MilesofMountains…if you can watch that bear video DO IT. This includes much of the same info, in an on-line text/photo version. Video still better! http://www.env.gov.yk.ca/publications-maps/docume… it’s a PDF, so you need to go to the site to read…
I just sent that to my parents, who are in BC right now & just emailed me a pic of the black bear they met on the trail but who only approached slowly as they backed out slowly.
Because I’m so delighted to know my 70+year old parents are out hiking bear land alone.
The thing about BC is that you drive 15 minutes outside of Vancouver –a quite big city — to take a harmless hike and suddenly you are in the midst of wilderness and the trailheads have posters not only warning you about bears but also bearing pictures of missing people who it is assumed have been eaten by bears and the posters pose the requires that — if you come across any personal items (jewelry, watches, etc.) lying on a path — to please bring them back and call the number on the poster so that the family can have some closure. It is quite terrifying.
I work at SFU, which is a university located atop a fairly heavily forested mountain (really, a substantial hill) about 15km outside of Downtown Vancouver. All our garbage cans that are even spitting distance from a shrub have to be bear-proof. We get frequent “Bear Alerts” sent out through email and on the campus TVs. I have yet to see a lumbering ursine myself, however! Just a few deer, which were admittedly majestic as hell.
We also have a very well-fed family of racoons that sometimes bumbles through plain sight. We’ve been warned not to follow them, but I did, and one of them took me to a fraggle hole. It was awesome.
One of my friends from high school had after high school the job of going into the Alaskan wilderness and teaching bears to fear humans. She’s a not-very-large, very kind, very calm and funny lady, and yet I have no trouble imagining that this was her job and that she was very good at it.
Best resume ever.
Lately I’ve been mishearing and mis-reading words very often, often to hilarious ends (also, maybe this means I’ve had a mini-stroke or some other kind of brain damage?).
Anyway, I read your comment as saying your friend went to Alaska to teach bears to fight humans, and I LOVED it.
I think the best strategy for dealing with bears is “don’t go places where there are bears”. I’m from the East Coast, and worked at a campground in the Adirondacks briefly, I think our strategy was “keep your food where they can’t get to it and make loud noises”. But our bears are a little smaller and cuter than the ones in Alaska.
The problem is that I live in a city of some 90,000 people and “places where there are bears” still equates to “my parking lot.”
o_O
When I went camping last year, I went to a park in Pennsylvania (we have black bears here, not generally very much trouble to humans), and the park gave us this pamphlet for how to protect yourself from bears, and it was hilarious.
“If you see a bear and the bear has seen you, bang some pots and pans together. If it has NOT seen you, then DON’T bang some pots and pans together.”
“Do not run from the bear. NO ONE CAN OUTRUN A BEAR.”
“If you can’t scare the bear off, I don’t know, try punching it I guess! That’s worked sometimes!”
If it has NOT seen you, then DON’T bang some pots and pans together.
Actual literal lol
Hahahaha, “laurenipsum”. You folks have all got the best names.
A friend of mine went to Vassar, and apparently there were some problematic responses to bears while she was there. The student body got an email at one point informing people that if they saw a bear, they were not to follow the bear. Nor were they to encourage others to follow the bear. Nor were they to “form a group for the purposes of following the bear.”
This is because college students are really dumb.
I realize the school had to think of their reputation, PR, and liability exposure. But allowing idiots to follow bears is very efficient. There are fewer more efficient ways to weed out those too stupid to continue at college.
They’re not different “breeds” of bears, they are completely different species. Assuming a uniform approach to an entire class of animals is like assuming all birds will respond to the same bird call.
I’m a Montanan, and we have lots of bears (black bears and grizzlies), so growing up we learn lots of strategies. Besides the general stuff (like buy bear spray and use it if necessary), a lot of the advice is not on what to do if you meet a bear, but rather how to avoid meeting one. Like travel in groups and make noise while walking in the wilderness and/or areas with bears. Talk, laugh, rattle stuff, sing, whatever–the idea is that the bear will hear you coming and move away. If you’re quiet, you might inadvertently sneak up on one, and then by the time the bear notices you you’re already in its space, and possibly between it and its cubs. Never a good thing.
Thank you for the “Everyone in this story is alive” disclaimer, I was immediately afraid for the dogs and the bear (lady has clearly got herself covered and does not need my concern)
Yes, me too. I was especially pleased to see that “a bear being a bear” was the response to a person being injured in these circumstances, since so often any human being injured would bring out the guns. High five to the troopers for their clear-headed thinking.
“Eh, it mauled somebody, it’s a bear, that’s how they do.”
I first read it as “Everyone in this story is alive, as in more alive than you, person sitting in front of a computer.” Which is also true.
This cat-calling leading to violence is getting out of hand. A woman should be able to hike the Alaskan countryside in peace without having gross, boorish bears shouting, “Hey baby, what’s ursine!”
go sit in the corner and think about what you’ve done
😛
OUT
Marry me.
…the other dog was waiting at her vehicle.
“Hi mom! I’m ready to go when you are! That was a great hike! Hey, watch out for bears by the way. I totally saw a bear out there.”
Someone needs to interview these smart/cowardly dogs.
Interviewer: So what happened on that hike?
Dogs: We went for a walk! We went on a walk without leashes! We followed some smells! We ran around! There was a smell!
I: When did you see the bear?
D: We definitely saw a bear! There was definitely a bear. It smelled like fish. It wanted to play. We ran around with the bear.
I: Were you scared by the bear?
D: There was definitely a bear! Bears are big. This one smelled like fish. It wanted to play!
I: How did you know to go back to the truck?
D: We always go places in the truck! The truck is great. We went for a walk. There were good smells! Then we went home with mom. In the truck. We love the truck!
Holy crap. You are obviously a dog. How do you type so well?
Dogs: We definitely saw a bear! We got to ride in the truck! We had a great day. The computer is fun and has pictures of bears!
You are MY DOGS. Amazing.
Dogs: HI MOM. We love the computer! Are you on the computer? There are pictures of bears. I ate a piece of bread on the table. I tried to stop him but I couldn’t. We both took naps. We love you! We looked at squirrels outside. We barked at squirrels. We scared the squirrels away! We are good dogs.
Good dogs! Yes you’re good dogs! Don’t let any bears in.
I want you to write entire articles for this website with the dogs talking about their day.
A+ Would read entire toast article based on this comment.
SECONDED
My dogs would be dead. We refer to them as Prevention and Payback. Not their real names.
Male dog, Prevention, is all guard dog, noisy and showy if there might be any threat. That includes leaves that surprise him by falling. The bear would have killed him with a swipe of its paw, just to make him shut up.
Female, Payback, is the same breed and, in theory, should be a guard dog. But no. She is everybody’s friend. And feels entitled to everyone’s attention, assumes everyone wants to pet her. When noisy Prevention is deafening us, she just watches calmly. If the reason for his noise is the approach of a mammal, she will go to that creature and offer herself for petting or play. All while the silly male is yelling about a threat.
But if that mammal should harm a member of her pack, she becomes another dog. One named Payback. But not until actual harm occurs. Any creature responsible for actual harm to the pack Must. Die. She will put her teeth into that mammal and will not let go until she feels their pulse stop. There’s nothing in between. She’s either adorable or deadly.
She weighs 13 pounds. She took down a 90 pound dog that attacked her companion. It took two large men to pry my small dog off of the big dog. With the bear, she would have died with her jaws locked into its pelt. But until the bear killed the male dog, she would have been asking to be friends.
No, we never allow them off-leash unless there’s a fence.
I’m trying to figure out what type of terriers you have, precisely.
Use your favorite search engine to look up “Belgian barge dog” or “dog little skipper”.
Schipperkes! Fantastic little creatures.
Alaska Toast lurker weighing in! This woman was definitely too busy offering piggyback rides to the other patients to talk to the press. Someday soon I will tell you the story of a long-gone Alaska badass who was Alaska’s first lady trucker. She also hand-raised a pair of orphaned bear cubs, because that’s what you do when you hang up your truck keys and your blackjack by the front door at the end of a long shift.
Yes! Another Alaskan Toastie! I’m in Fairbanks and there’s been a grizzly sighted in my neighborhood. I’m really hoping she just wanders back off into the hills and that my dogs don’t meet her.
I saw a woman with a similar story on Letterman a few years ago. I think this is her book: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search…
This lady did an AMA on Reddit http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/1byn1l/i_wa…
This is exactly what I needed after this week. Yes. Perfection. Hike back to your car, pick up your two dumb dogs, drive miles and miles. You’re fine, just put some staples in there. Let the bear have his salmon, I’d be pissed too if someone tried to take my fish.
…the bear has not been seen since…
The local paper did interview her, and it was WONDERFUL. Highlights:
She is 57-year old commercial fisherman.
She yelled “No!” at the bear.
“The bear appeared to be in good health.”
Then they describe the super severe injuries she received, and say “Despite the trauma, “I feel fine,” Thomas said.”
And BEST OF ALL, the photo caption makes sure to clarify for us that “The dog pictured here was not involved in the mauling.”
a http://www.adn.com/article/20140813/woman-mauled-…
“By the end, I was thinking, ‘I could die here,’ ” Thomas said from an Anchorage hospital Wednesday, where she was medevaced after the attack.
Only by the END? The moment I saw the bear, I would be like I AM DYING THIS IS WHERE I DIE GOODBYE WORLD. She spent some time with the bear before concluding, “This could be the place of my death. We shall see.” AND THAT IS WHY SHE LIVED.
I was actually thinking that while reading the story, so.
We were driving down 89 next to Lake Tahoe a few weeks ago and we saw a bear run across the road and my reaction, from the safety of a Volkswagen, was, “I could die here.”
Which is why I should stay in Oakland where I know I’m safe.
Everyone commenting on that article is SO ALASKAN. They are debating whether or not you should carry your bear spray with you at all times, and where it’s not safe to go in salmon spawning season, and every profile pictures features a beard and/or snow. Amazing.
My husband started taking bear spray to the outhouse with him last week, when we had reports of a bear in the neighborhood. He is also bearded! We really do our best to live up to the stereotypes.
A guy in my neck of the woods (northern BC) got mauled while he was in his outhouse last year. In the interview I read, he said the main thing he has concluded from it was “I should start closing the outhouse door when I go to the bathroom.”
I cannot get over the fact that she hiked 1.5 miles after having “chunks taken out of her” by a bear. “The wounds are so deep that they need to heal from the inside out before getting surgery to close up the wounds.”
Seriously I can barely hike 1.5 miles totally healthy.
This is an EXCELLENT story! Restores my faith in human, dog, and bear -nature.
The dogs ran off, then returned shortly with the bear running after them.
“barkbarkbarkbark- OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIIIIIIIIIT WE ARE NOT AS FIERCE AS WE THOUGHT WE WERE.”
Yup, that’s pretty much it (unless you’re a Karelian Bear Dog and were bred to mess that bear’s shit up real good).
Also, I’m finding rural ladies of a certain age are just total badasses in general (a Rural Lady 70+ years old accidentally drove her car over the side of a mountain and stuck it out for three days before finally being rescued. Her response? Eh, I’m alright, don’t fuss over it).
More support for badass old ladies: 85 year old Alaskan woman with shovel beats up a moose who trampled her husband: http://www.adn.com/article/20120123/85-year-old-w…
That sentence just kept getting better as it went on.
This article is possibly my favorite thing I’ve ever read. Every single one of their quotes is better than the last.
Hey, Alaskan Toasties! I just ran into a couple of bear cubs at Chitina two days ago. They were more or less blocking the trail, so I turned around and loudly sang John Prine songs all the way back to camp. I went out again a couple of hours later and the bears were gone. I was really afraid someone would swoop in and grab my fishing spot in the meantime, but it worked out ok.
I love how a good bear story brings all the Alaskan Toasties out of the woodwork!
Fellow Alaskan Toastie delurking and reporting for duty!
Alaska—where the landscape is actively trying to kill you and the residents are oddly proud of the fact.
I once took one of my college friends camping. On the drive to Seward, she received a lecture covering basic safety principles. She found it terrifying, and stayed awake all night listening for bears and possibly mud flats.
Last week, we were hiking in western Washington, where we both now live, and I was insisting on very loud conversations every time the undergrowth closed in, because there might be bears.
Questions before I can determine if possibly this lady deserved the bear mauling that almost killed her. Did she go to college? Was she a good person? If not, then did she intentionally infuriate the bear? We know Alaskan ladies are generally disrespectful — what did she say and do to the bear? (Irony, of course — a bad, pathetic homage to Roxane Gay’s tumblr post on the shooting of William Brown).
What was she wearing? Was it something a bear might find provocative?
This came up in my Feed. People shamed her for letting the dogs run off-leash in that particular area and at this time of year, and also for her not carrying Bear Spray. The bears are now trying to gain as much weight as possible before they go hibernate and are probably full, as pointed out the salmon are spawning and dying. The dogs probably circled and irritated the bear. But yeah. she’s pretty Cordova. Cute, too.