Got a lil note from a reader that I’d like to share if you’re feeling like you want to complain to people with actual influence during a time when they are ACTUALLY AVAILABLE TO YOU:
Through September 7th, the House of Representatives is on break, and many reps are in their home districts, and have time set aside specifically to meet with their constituents. In many districts, it can be quite easy to email a representative’s office and set up a brief meeting (either with them or their relevant aide), and not many people are aware of this. The Minneapolis Toast meetup group is trying to set up an appointment with our representative here to ask for federal legislation/committee investigation/anything to destroy the culture of violence and racism in police forces.
Is this the real life, is this just fantasy? So grateful to say that Mallory and I can provide absolutely no additional information about this event, it is Buzzfeed’s baby, we are just showing up to talk and smile and become hyper and then crash wanly after our brief, orchid-like blossoming. You can touch my belly if you want, though, we’re family. We’re not planning on doing an additional NYC meetup this time (flying in the night before, leaving the morning after, like supermodels), but you can do ANYTHING YOU WANT, you don’t need us! Okay, let’s do this:
*
I have been politely rejecting all pieces by white people about the events in Ferguson, just because we have limited space for topical pieces and want to amplify POC voices right now, but I thought that Matt Zoller Seitz did a great job here.
A glorious celebration of gay rugby in NYC:
Prejudice may not exist between the lines, but Gotham players say opposing teams have occasionally responded tepidly to socializing off the field. As social chair, Carlino’s job is to organize post-game “drink-ups,” a rugby tradition during which both teams imbibe together. Gotham hosts its drink-ups at Boxers NYC, a Hell’s Kitchen establishment that touts itself as New York City’s “premier gay sports bar.”
“There would be maybe a team or two where only a few guys would show up, but it’s not a huge issue,” says Carlino.
An interview with the Fug Girls.
Mo’ne Davis is just the beginning:
The narrative of the gimmick girl in sports is doubly damaging. Not only does it foster a lower expectation of women’s abilities — in both genders — it also creates an assumption that women aren’t earning their spots when in reality they are almost certainly facing even higher standards than the men they compete against.If the sports world is truly going to house gender equality, we need to give girls the freedom to choose their sports. We need to stop pressuring them to take the path of least gender resistance. And we need to stop holding them to a higher standard when everything else is already working against them.
*
Making fun of Anthropologie furniture.
So, this is a little funny/terrifying/misandrist heart-warming story that my teacher YES MY SPIRITUAL TEACHER told me yesterday (it was in the context of a discussion about how people change, but that’s not important, sometimes stories do not serve a Zen purpose, they merely entertain and delight.) So, backstory, when she was in her twenties she was a very famous and notoriously fear-immune pro athlete and HEARTSTOPPINGLY gorgeous (she is nearly fifty now and still difficult to look at directly, lest the sun hit her face in such a way that yours shatters in reflexive awe) and many men had posters of her on their wall. But she was a MONK, basically, bc all she cared about was training and competing and finding her $100 a month to pay her rent in her no-fridge-having hovel. So she had one of many, many accidents, was in a hip-to-ankle cast, and her surgeon said “look, you cannot train for six months, this is a big one, you need to cool it.” And she was super bummed out, and went to this mogul competition to watch anyway, and then went to the afterparty and was propped up with her leg on a couch, like “my life sucks.”
And then it occurred to her: “I should get a boyfriend.”
So she slowly pans her head and scopes out the room, and sees the dude who came in third in the competition. He had done a 720 with like half a foot of air, he was super-hot. Their eyes meet. She points at him. He does that points-at-himself-questioningly gesture. She beckons him with her forefinger. He comes over.
“Hey, I’m [Nicole’s Spiritual Teacher.] You’re [Name of Dude], right?”
“Yes.”
“I need a boyfriend. Where do you live?”
“Squaw Valley.”
“I live in Salt Lake City. I am very sexually attracted to you, and I cannot train for six months. You should move to Salt Lake City and live with me and be my boyfriend, I think it would be fun. Would you like to move to Salt Lake City and be my boyfriend?”
“…yes.”
So he drove home, told his girlfriend of SIX YEARS (he never once mentioned her existence to my teacher): “I have to move to Salt Lake City and become Nicole’s Spiritual Teacher’s boyfriend” and then moved to Salt Lake City. And they had SO much fun, they had a great time, it was awesome, and then six months later her doctor gave her the go-ahead to train again, and she came home and was all “hey, this has been so much fun, see you,” and he was all “what?” and she said “I can train again, so I no longer need a boyfriend” and he went back from whence he came.
And they are still friends. She is also friends with the woman he had been dating, who approached her at a competition one day, introduced herself, and said “hey, you know, I was upset for a little while, but it wound up being really great, we had been in a rut.”
So, um, there is no point to this story, other than that my teacher is a very charismatic person, and also that you might want to try asking people to be your boyfriend and then releasing them back into the wild when you are done with them.
Also, people change, but it can be wonderful to look back on the person you used to be with a slightly terrified air of respect for your older self.
I think I want to grow up to be your spiritual teacher, Nicole
The story of how I became her student is not…dissimilar…to this one. And now I am in her thrall.
This actually sounds like a spiritual teacher worth being taught by.
Can we talk about the Slate Culture Gabfest? They had a whole thing about “ironic misandry,” heavily featuring Mallory, and two deeply disappointing things:
1) They acted as if Mallory were joking.
2) It was the Man on the panel who actually seemed to get it.
I could not even listen to that thing. Thanks for reporting and letting us know it is just as bad as one might think.
It was just such a bummer.
Heard that too. I was surprised that Julia Turner didn’t seem to get it. She’s usually pretty astute about these sorts of things.
I think the dude, whose name escapes me right now, kinda hit it on the head about how the misandry might not be as ironic as some think. That it might be a justified reaction to the fuckery that is men in the world.
Yes. Super disappointed in Julia! And the man was Dan Kois and he was correct.
I’m not surprised that Dan Kois got it, because he’s awesome. He shall be spared, etc.
I completely agree and also have to register some sort of small-scale annoyance with the fact that they pronounced the word “misandry” as MIS-uhn-dry, which sounds way less powerful / “shrill” than mis-AN-dry. And I’m not sure which one is actually correct (maybe both), but it should definitely be the latter.
Totally agree! I am also not sure and prefer mis-AN-dry.
I think maybe some people pronounce it MIS-uhn-dry because of the word “misanthrope,” but when you think about the etymology of both words and what you’re actually emphasizing, mis-AN-dry makes just so much more sense.
Also, you’d say “misANthropy” and “misOgyny.”
I just listened to it, super disappointing, and I soooo expected better of Dana and Julia.
Misandry, for me, is wrapped up with “I don’t fucking care if you like it,” and they are lovely and powerful things. There is something to be said for working within an institution in order to change it, but when it’s the patriarchy, I think it’s better just to burn it to the ground and stomp on its ashes. I kind of see this as the Andrew Ti approach to sexism – it’s not my “job” to be nice to sexists and engage with them to show them why they’re wrong. If you are not a feminist, then engaging with you is not a worthwhile use of my time. I’m not going to define my success by the measure of your approval.
I am 150% for going off into the woods, arm in arm, dressed in linen gowns, braiding dandelion chains in our hair, and starting our own society based on being women and the cannibalistic consumption of all male offspring
not our own offspring god we’re not animals
but the male offspring of all the baby deer and wild rabbits who will be our friends
we will sit in a circle around the fire and play Bikini Kill on electric guitar. there won’t be electricity but the guitars will be powered by the electric force of or collective punk spirit.
we will sit in a circle around the fire and play Bikini Kill on electric guitar. there won’t be electricity but the guitars will be powered by the electric force of or collective punk spirit.
A+ perfect fantasy
Ugh what even! Thanks for filling us in on this. When the “ironic misandry” article came out a few weeks ago I was amused but puzzled. What exactly makes you immediately assume it’s “ironic”…? http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2014/08/08/i…
WHY ARE YOU GOING TO BE HERE ON A THURSDAY, YOU GUYS 🙁 I have work the next day but this may be the only opportunity I get. I will ask the sister and see if she’s willing to go in with me because there’s a direct train from down here, but I am loathe to go into NYC by myself.
I’m going to be on vacation, which is wonderful, but I will cry a single tear knowing this is going on without me.
I am in the exact.same.boat.
If you want, I can meet you in Manhattan and we can head to Brooklyn together! (Sorry if this is a weird thing to be offering, but I’m a born-and-bred city girl, and I want all the Toasties to be able to go on the fourth!)
That would actually be rad! I’m not sure if I’ll be able to go just yet because I’m coming from the Jersey shore and don’t know how late trains run from Red Bank. I need to do a bit more research but I def appreciate the offer and will probably take you up on it if I can make it!!
Cool! I’m c dot tesoro 330 at gmail, if you wanna email me once you’ve got it figured out! I’ll probably be on Jaya’s email thread, too, for the 09/05 meet up!
I’m imagining your teacher has so much charisma that she doesn’t need to do the self-deprecating couching around her most badass stories. Do not correct me if I’m wrong. I’d rather live in this beautiful, beautiful dreamscape.
This is not really related to any of these links, but dang, American Apparel is really committed to satisfying my male gaze every time I open a Toast article these days.
I am definitely in favor of the Toast having ad revenues and such, but I’m not a hundred percent sure that these ads are pointed at the right audience?
I am so excited to tell you that we had a Toast Council about those ads, and Mallory fought passionately for them, and eventually won. Points raised included the issues with erasing the queer gaze from conversations about “the male gaze,” and the removal of Dov Charney. I extracted a promise that the weird new schoolgirl ads from AA would not make it into the rotation.
The jorts stay.
I am all about the queer gaze, but the jorts ads are just baaaaaaarely SFW. Can we count on future AA ads being no more risque than the jorts one? I feel so puritanical even asking this but I read The Toast at work all the time (*nervous laughter*) and I want you guys to make boatloads of money but I also don’t want to get reported to HR.
I know the REAL solution is “do your job and don’t read The Toast at work, hearyoume” but… that’s not super realistic.
Nick said we would know if they added others, I don’t think we’d go more WAKA WAKA WAKA WAKA MUPPET NOISE than the jorts one.
Thank you for answering that in the absolute best way possible, and for generally being you.
god bless you for turning what I said
“i think the models are hot and i like looking at them”
into something as CLASSY and EVOLVED as “the queer gaze”
oh don’t mind me, just queerly gazing at butts
Hm, that is a good point about implicitly excluding the queer gaze from conversations about the male gaze, I should have assessed that more thoroughly.
Well! I am satisfied, then. Thank you for your consideration.
I’m currently seeing an ad for 3-for-2 corsets, which I am A-OK with 🙂
I am not sure I’d be real confident in American Apparel’s line of corsetry.
Also, I am seeing the ad with the girl in the denim shorts whose buttcheeks are sticking out, and look, I’m not saying I have a principle problem with it or anything, but it is the kind of thing I feel weird about when my supervisor walks by.
(Especially because I have a lot of problems reading the Toast on my browser, so that it is always jumping unpredictably up and down the screen when I try to do anything, meaning not only are there buttcheek shorts, but I can never tell when they’re going to be prominently displayed.)
(Nevertheless, obviously this is my problem, not everyone else’s problem.)
(You’re not alone with the “jumping unpredictably up and down the screen” problem! happens to me too.)
I am 100% into organizing a Toast meetup the night before the Buzzfeed thing, or the night after, or something, if there is interest. Comment here if there is interest!
There is totally interest!
Yes please! I won’t be able to make it to the event itself but I could always use more Toast in my life.
I would be all about a Friday meetup!
Awesome! Ok, let’s plan something for September 5 then. Is Manhattan convenient for everyone or do we explore OTHER BOROUGHS? (Also suggestions for how to best wrangle everyone without making the comments too unwieldy are appreciated.)
I’m part of a group that does regular Toast meetups (we have one once a month at least) and we’ve consistently used RPM bar (266 Bleeker st) for…well before it was RPM bar with great success! They are super open to reserving space (free obviously) on Friday nights and it’s pretty convenient to get to. Also..speaking as someone who lives in in Queens I find that Manhattan is a great middle ground, that everyone can get to easily. If you’d like me to call the bar I’d be happy to, unless you had a specific place in mind.
Although if it were in Queens, as people seem to be suggesting, I would be so happy I’d die.
Ok so here is the idea!
1. Buzzfeed-adjacent meetup on 9/5 at RPM Bar, because it’s central and more likely to attract more people.
2. THIS SUNDAY 8/24, undetermined time as of right now, mini Queens Toast meetup at the Beer Garden.
That sounds perfect! I’ll call them an let you know as soon as I get the info. They DO let you bring food I bring food with me all the time and you can also order takeout to the bar.
Ok yes, this sounds like a really good idea! Let me know if they say it’s good, and then we can just advertise it everywhere 🙂
(Also do they let you bring food?)
Oh, you mean like the historical Bohemian Beer Hall in Astoria, Queens?
Uhh you mean like that place that is AROUND THE CORNER FROM MY HOUSE. Ok yes I could do that. Thoughts, everyone? Or does everyone interested wanna email me at jhsaxena [at] gmail [dot] com and then I can get an email thread going?
I can’t get to my personal email right now because work has this horrific filter, but if you want to toss me in there as elysetheamazing AT gmail DOT com I’ll see what I can do! Personally I’m more of a fan of staying in Manhattan as I am a scared Jersey girl that doesn’t always know her way around the Big City, but I’m cool with whatever y’all are up for!
AHHH BEER GARDEN!!!! Potential Toast meet up in my neighborhood!
Emailed! I second Manhattan as the neutral middle ground, but where ever, really.
I am pro-beer-garden for admittedly selfish Astoria-living reasons. And also, I’ve been like ONCE all summer which is a crying shame.
yes please me too! I am also like a 10 minute walk from the Beer Garden (the GOOD one, y’all, no one’s fooling anyone with that dumb one by the movie theatre on the other end of Steinway).
allicooke5 [at] gmail … i too have a terrible work filter.
YES PLEASE. I suggest LIC Bar, because it is lovely and maybe they will have live music in the garden and I can ride my bike there. (Too scared to ride my bike in the city.)
If Manhattan is easier for everyone, though, of course I will be there!
Interest, I has it!!
So ridiculously interested.
Oh absolutely.
I do not have words for how incredible your teacher’s story is. It warms the cockles just to know that such a woman exists in the world.
Also, you guys, can we talk about Prudie today? The woman who MAYBE KILLED HER EVIL MOM, the woman who whistled ding-dong-the-witch-is-dead about her evil deceased MIL, the woman whose fucking DOCTOR HIT ON HER DURING THE EXAM. What even.
Maybe Matricide: “It’s fine, don’t sweat it. Get that girl a shrink and a lawyer though.”
My Mom hates my dead Grandmom: “At least she didn’t hate her even more, amirite? I mean, she could have maybe-killed her, and she didn’t. That’s more than some people can manage ;).”
The other two have pretty sane, normal advice, at least. (Also, this doctor apparently said “nice, young and healthy, just how I like ’em”, so maybe after reporting him they should drive a stake through his heart).
tbqh the woman who wore red to her MIL’s funeral is me 20 years from now except I would also bring noisemakers, sparklers and party hats
My grandmother attended her ex husband’s viewing wearing a pantsuit covered in sunflowers, hummingbirds, and the words “live, laugh, love). She acted as if she were hosting the whole thing, and relegated his current wife (her ex-bff who he had run off with 30 years prior) to the guestbook. Southern women, I tell ya!
My mom was pretty excited about her own mother’s death, and I just ignored it. It’s pretty complicated, and I don’t mean that my mother is a monster. It’s just… well, she definitely whooped at one point. I was feeling sad, myself, but hey, my mom’s got a right to her own experience and feelings (which I’m sure were various).
Oh my god, I totally had a creepy doctor experience like that with a rheumatologist. He was WAY too into getting to feel up a 19 year old.
Fuck, I’m sorry, that’s awful. Doctors like that should lose their licenses AND ALSO their lives, or at least their friends, families, respect, and happiness.
MZS’s piece is pretty good! But of course, don’t read the comments. I totally slipped and kinda saw a line from one that was like “I would like to collect my brownie points for never exercising my white privilege.” UHHH NO NOPE FUCK YOU, DUDE.
Also, that Anthro furniture thing is hilarious but I really, really want the $8k tent.
It’s a very good piece! Except if I ever wanted to have more positive feelings about the police, which is now even less likely to happen before the heat death of the universe. Seriously? Coaching a guy to get him to press charges, *while* he’s standing there saying, no, I was not assaulted? That’s Batman-villain level bullshit.
Yeah at this point I am 100% for the cast of Reno 911 becoming the nation’s actual police. Fire everyone else.
I can’t go to the Buzzfeed event because I’ll be out of town visiting my college friend who lives in a tent at a Shambhala center in Vermont! (yes, you read that correctly) I also couldn’t make it to the Hey Ladies event so this is a huge disappointment…
And is it bad that I kind of loved some of the stuff on Fuck Your Noguchi Coffee Table? I think that’s evidence that I rent a small, shabby apartment and thus have no real-life awareness of how annoying it is to decorate a real live house with fussy design-y things.
I loved a lot of stuff on that blog as well. I, too, rent a tiny shabby apartment, so it is my ultimate dream to have tons of space and time and money with which to furnish a ridiculous house.
http://www.urbanbarn.com/product/nest furniture f…
(my HTML failed for some reason, sorry)
I have been in love with this massive, stupidly expensive chair for YEARS and I am eagerly awaiting the day when I will have the space and money (and ability to drop such money on a single item of furniture) to purchase it.
TRUE STORY: the first time I saw it at the furniture store, I got so excited that I flailed my arms around and accidentally slapped a woman in the face. (She was a good sport about it.)
That looks like LITERALLY the most comfortable chair in the world.
Sometimes I go to that store just to sit in the chair for a few minutes. It feels like floating in a grey chenille cloud.
We have the (slightly cheaper) Room and Board version of this chair in purple velour. It is awesome. If anyone wants to have a Toast meetup in the Chicagoland area, I will invite you over to sit in it and spin (seriously).
Why did I read the comments on that MZS piece?
you might want to try asking people to be your boyfriend and then releasing them back into the wild when you are done with them.
I try this sometimes but boyfriends be like
You’ve got to tell them that your time together meant nothing to you. They’re not your friend, they’re just some boyfriend you took pity on. They’ll be happier in the wild anyway. Get out of here, you stupid boyfriend! Run away and be free!
It helps if you cry and throw rocks!
Spreading that dangerous message of environmentalism!
I’ll be there with… bells on?
Okay, that’s awful, but I will be there with my Toast t-shirt, assuming the event hasn’t already sold out.
Oh, news people, Boxers is not in Hell’s Kitchen. It’s in Flatiron (bordering on Chelsea), and I’ll tell you why I know this: my place of employment literally SHARES ITS ADDRESS. I hope you can all imagine my glee when, on Friday nights, I go down to the ground floor of our building and hear “I Wanna Dance with Somebody” pouring out of their speakers.
There are 2 of them. And they used to have one in the W Village. Memories….
I didn’t know that! I’m so happy that they’re able to still sustain two of them. And that their logo is a dog (a boxer, duh) wearing boxers. And that there are never not dudes streaming in and out by the time I’m off work.
I’ve been reading the news more which means I am depressed more, but your spiritual teacher’s life is the greatest, the absolute greatest
nicole’s spiritual teacher, basically:
THIS VIDEO THO. Can we talk about it? Draaaaaaaake
My husband has such a crush on Drake, and he was soooo disappointed that Drake just sat there.
And he was wearing gym shorts!
Nicki Minaj is a perfect human and Drake’s face looks like someone tried to sculpt a baby head out of uncooked bread dough.
This is my favorite sentence today.
I really want Drake’s shirt. It is probably one of those $200 t-shirts, because fashion. Sigh.
No no he tried to touch her butt and then she slapped his hand away! The best part.
THIS WAS MY FAVORITE PART YESSSSS
Speaking to a congresswoman/man about Ferguson is a very smart plan, and something I’ve been wanting to do for a while now, except OH WAIT, Washington DC doesn’t have one! And gosh, how convenient, our population has a black majority. I just moved in to the city from the VA suburbs a few months ago, so this is the first time it’s really hitting me how utterly bullshit it is that we aren’t represented by a voting member of congress.
Eleanor Holmes Norton is a good person to talk to though.
I once was waiting for a friend at Chinatown when the Honorable Norton walked out of the Metro station. She immediately got greeted/cheered by three different people.
I’d heard of people being fond of their hometown reps before moving here, but YOU WILL NEVER CLAW ELEANOR HOLMES NORTON AWAY FROM US.
That said, YEAH. “Taxation without representation” license plates only seem unneccisarily hyperbolic for about the first seven seconds you live in DC.
I think I might talk to a more local government person since that’s where my cops are based anyway–I’m thinking of the mayor for my city, since he’s got office hours every week and you can make an appointment.
Those Anthropologie chairs in the hallway look rather malevolent, like the chair version of that evil car in the Stephen King story.
Never forget poop chair http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/product/home-…
Oh my god that’s just a poop chair
I never click on links, and this is where I broke that promise. Can’t unsee it now.
I laughed so hard at the description of those chairs.
The chalkboard paint on the floor one was what really got me, and now I’m crying laughing at work.
Ahhhhh I live near the Bell House yes I do I will be there OMG OMG
A dude told me Mo’ne Davis has an unfair advantage because girls mature faster than boys.
I hope you set him on fire.
Did you set him on fire?
If you would like we can set him on fire for you.
I tragically did not, but I did start ranting about the female pitcher who struck out Babe Ruth and the the sexist nonsense of keeping women out of baseball.
I read an article to the effect yesterday and the flames, friends. They were shooting out of the side of my face.
Who listens to dudes? When have they been right about anything?
These kinds of situations are always when I ardently wish I could shoot laser beams out of my eyes.
I like how essentially his argument is, Davis has an unfair advantage because everyone *knows* girls are superior. Yes, that does seem unfair, doesn’t it? Nevertheless, we are not the ones who made girls superior. I’m sorry, it’s just nature.
I was out for half-price burgers at a local sports bar last night and they had four screens showing the Pennsylvania/Nevada Little League game with Mo’ne Davis–including the giant main screen! It was fantastic. I’m from a baseball home, my dad pitched in high school, college, and worked his way through the farm leagues to play briefly for Cleveland, so I know from pitching. And that girl? Can PITCH. Whoa. I saw her throw a sinking fastball that brought tears to my eyes I am not exaggerating.
A lot of the bars in our area are doing the same thing, and it’s so great! Seriously, her pitching mechanics are beautiful. I have loved watching their games, and will continue to absolutely SCREAM for the Taney Dragons tonight. YAYYYYYY!!!
Minneapolis Toast Meet Up! You might want to reach out to these folks in setting your priorities when you talk to our representatives: https://www.facebook.com/events/1442088142746371/… They’ve been working on police brutality issues for a long time. They are also hosting a meeting to talk about it tonight if you are available.
Where can I find information about the Minneapolis Toast Meet Up? Google is giving me links to Toastmasters, even if I “-toastmasters”. I hate Google, just alittlebit.
Here’s the facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/530207480428344/
I’m actually not sure what’s going on with the representative thing – but hopefully finding more out soon!
Here I am, anxious about asking a guy “are you my boyfriend” when I’ve been dating him for a couple of months and I’m pretty sure he likes me a lot…
Shit, if Nicole’s spiritual teacher can ask this question of a complete stranger I need to get my act together. I feel inspired.
Sometimes I catch myself asking this guy, “Hey, you still like me, right?” We’ve been married for 3 years.
Unsolicited advice: ask, because even if he says no and you guys break up, it is ONE THOUSAND PERCENT better to be on your own than to be in an on-going program of training yourself not to ask for what you want. That shit is habit-forming. Avoid, urgently.
Pictured: Lars von Trier’s guest bedroom.
So THAT is where you get urine jars, jars specifically to store your urine in. Thanks Anthropologie!
Sounds like urine luck!
(I’ll show myself out.)
*slow clap*
Ooof indeed. :/ I got through about four paragraphs of that article before I had to stop lest I break down into sobbing at work. My husband’s grandmother has had full-blown dementia for about two years now. Her husband has sacrificed pretty much all of his independence to take care of her. He loves her so much and she barely remembers who he is. Ok and now I made myself tear up anyway. I need to go text my husband to tell him how much I love him now.
My grandfather had dementia. Sometimes when I called, he was perfectly lucid and asked about my husband and how grad school was going. Other times he thought I was his first wife, who died in 1953. One time he thought I was one of his war buddies and WW2 was still going on. It was heartbreaking. He’d always had such a sharp memory – even in his 80s (he died at 95) he could recite from memory poems that he’d learned in high school. It was like he reached a certain age and some switch flipped and his health went downhill very rapidly.
I read the whole thing and should not have done so at work. Would recommend checking out the Anthro furniture link as a remedy, because hoo boy.
I really believe assisted suicide should be considered a fundamental human right. Are we really supposed to force our loved ones to die long, drawn-out and agonizing deaths (or face them ourselves) because they’re ‘natural’? Both of my grandmothers had alzheimer’s, and it was horrible to watch, and I know that in their moments of lucidity, it was horrible for them to experience. If I had to face the same thing, I would absolutely want to control when and how I died.
Oregon.
Yeah. My father is in the late stages of Alzheimer’s now, and it’s brutal.
I’m so sorry.
Thanks so much.
Oof indeed. I’m so… touched by her very brave and important choice. My heart is breaking for her family’s loss.
I went to the site the subject created and wept uncontrollably. Her wit and humor shone through, even addressing the darkest of subjects.
My mother has dementia and is currently in a vegetative state.
Would that I had this amount of courage were I to ever face the same decision.
Shameless self-promotion: I have three new poems up at Chicago Literati. They are about (in part) how simultaneously awesome/horrible the Great Lakes are. Of bonus interest to anyone who grew up on Lake Erie:
Forget the ground:
the sand we kicked masked
cigarette butts, stranded fries
from someone’s picnic, rocks
so rough they cut your toes.
It was our filthy lake, a great one.
So the maps proclaimed.
Please read and share if you enjoyed them!
Congrats 🙂
Congrats! They are great 😀
This is of bonus interest to me and perfectly expresses my gross inappropriate ‘it’s not summer until you get sick from swimming in lake Erie’ nostalgia, so… Congratulations!
Lovely tribute to Lake Erie. I am home in Buffalo just for the weekend and #1 on my to do list: take a dip in the lake, try not to cut myself on any zebra mussels or slimy green muck rocks (currently without health insurance)
This hasn’t been the greatest morning of my life, but that picture of the Anthro chair with a COAT HANGER on top… that almost makes it all better.
ah but did you notice the wooden shoe as chair-leg replacement
how can it get better than a coat hanger top, you ask? A WOODEN SHOE BOTTOM (I had not noticed – thank you for bringing this light into my life)
happy to make your morning EVEN BETTER
Once I worked in a service industry position that required me to stand silently and perform repetitive tasks as wealthy people talked about their lives. A local lawyer who had recently narrowly avoided jail time for fixing tax sale auctions was talking about the adventure vacation his wife took, where she was flown by helicopter to a remote location and forced to ski back on her own. The fantasy of becoming the person who drops rich people out of helicopters onto the icy tundra really got me through some dark times.
If it ever gets thin, though, I can pretend to be the class warrior who designed the coat hanger chair with the wooden shoe leg.
Heather and Jessica are queens among women, I love them and nothing would please me more than to be friends with them.
I love GFY – it’s the only fashion/celebrity blog I’ve seen that isn’t really mean-spirited. I also don’t watch any of the TV shows they recap, but I always read the recaps because they’re so funny!
They are the best – I always enjoy reading their posts and often think “look into pants” when I see someone wearing leggings/tights/etc. Heather and I also have the same cute nickname for our kids (Bean) which strengthens the spiritual kinship.
Loyal member of Fug Nation here. I don’t care anything about fashion but I love to read their comments about it. And the Fug Girls are the nicest and funniest girls on earth.
Going to meet with your congressman (or nonvoting delegate, if you’re in DC or a territory) is a great idea! As a former congressional staffer, may I be so bold as to offer some tips?
1. Go in with a plan. If it helps, write down your points in advance and bring the notes with you. The worst meetings are where people show up and say “my organization told me to talk about X. Here’s the reading material.” and that’s it. Explain why this is important to you, what you think needs to be done, and how your rep can help.
2. If your rep does not share your political views, see if you can find some statistics to back up your point. One constituent is easy to write off. Showing that the issue affects X percent of the district or state helps show why the rep should pay attention.
3. Do not be upset if you meet with a staffer instead of the member. And even if the staffer looks young, don’t assume he or she has no influence. (Don’t get me started on dealing with constituents who made idiotic comments about my age or assumed if there is a male staffer in the room he is the senior one. Clearly no Toastie would do this but uggghhhh)
4. Have a positive attitude no matter what. Even if the rep doesn’t commit to help, ask if you can follow up. And then actually follow up with the relevant staffer. Check in with them every couple months or if you have important new information. Show that you care and that you can be a resource for them.
5. Don’t forget about your state legislature! So much important work happens there and its often ignored.
I hope this doesn’t sound too basic. I just want you guys to have positive experiences regardless of the ultimate outcome.
My friend Casey was on a gay rugby team in Amsterdam! They recruited him because he was Australian (and gay), and it was a bonus that he’d actually played rugby. I went on their boat on Amsterdam Pride once with gay rugby guys from all over Europe, it was pretty great.
ENRAGING SPORTS ANECDOTE:
I play pickup soccer locally with a bunch of people. It is about 97% dudes. Mostly everyone is… okay about the gender thing, or at least not openly shitty. HOWEVER, there is a contingent of old men who show up approximately once a week, and they are the wooooooorst.
A few weeks ago, we arrived at the local high school where we usually play to find three teenage girls practicing field hockey in one corner of the field. They were taking shots on ONE of the SIX portable field hockey goals available. We needed two of them (we typically play half-field games with small goals). Now, instead of walking to the other end of the field to grab two of the free goals, one of the old guys walked right up to the girls, grabbed the goal they were CLEARLY USING, and started dragging it away. They looked super taken aback (because wtf), and the guy only gave it up after another dude came over and talked to him, and only then after several minutes of arguing. They were speaking Spanish, which I speak very poorly, but the gist was clear: they’re just girls, they’re not doing anything IMPORTANT, they don’t NEED this goal etc etc.
I was completely appalled and apologized profusely to the girls, but didn’t really know what else to do besides STEW FOREVER and then yell about it with my boyfriend for like an hour afterwards.
The best (and by “best” I mean “worst”) part? The following week, there were some dudebros throwing a football around on the field, and they’d piled their bags around the nearest field hockey goal but were not actually using it. Someone said something about asking them to move their stuff so we could have the goal, and the SAME FUCKING OLD MAN was like “We can’t do that! They’re using it!”
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
THROW THEM IN THE FLAMES
We’ve got a good theme today. Set them on fire.
Let’s all make a bonfire of assholes!
This may be the single gif I see most often in Toast comments (with the possible exception of the nopetopus), and it is NEVER NOT APPROPRIATE.
“Leave our goal alone or I’m going to show you whose balls are being kicked up and down this field!”
I know this is super-late, but Linda Holmes once again managed to capture my feelings perfectly – in this case, why the premise behind the movie Let’s Be Cops is not even remotely funny, even if Ferguson wasn’t happening right now.
for endless anthropologie satire, read anthroparodie.
I initially read that as “for endless anthropologie satire, read anthropologie,” which seems about right.
I might have FINALLY subscribed to post comments only because YAY YOU MENTIONED GAY RUGBY TEAMS. I joined mine last year and had minimal athletic ability and no team sports experience (exception: soccer when I was younger, in which there is a picture of me holding a soccer ball that is about as big as me). I could blather on more, but I’ll just sum it up with: Joining it was undoubtedly one of the best choices I’ve ever made, especially meeting other teams in our league and the local (men and women) teams.
(I might have attended my graduation ceremony with a black eye.)
Andyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
(And you looked fabulous.)
I’ve just discovered that the gofundme page for Darren Wilson has raised MORE than the one for the family of Michael Brown. Please help to change this: http://www.gofundme.com/justiceformikebrown
Oh nooooo, you’re killing me here. I live like half an hour away from the Bell House but I have class at that EXACT TIME on the 4th. I would maybe be interested in meeting up with other Toasties after, though?
Brooklyn. I want to go there.
Eventually it's endearing.