Pulled Pork on Abortion Rye-ts:
A pig raised lovingly in the care of two lesbians, fed a proper diet and allowed to roam the backyard to their cottage in Sunset. This pig was put down under the full moon, in view of the goddess and has been marinated and prepared for your pleasure. Served on artisanal, gluten free, vegan, rye bread with pages from Judith Butler’s books as napkins.
The Reuben Bader Ginsburg:
Made of actual hunks of Supreme Court justice man meat, consume the men who have been ruling against your rights! Layer of Scalia’s Bologna draped in Swiss cheese so full of holes it will remind you of John Roberts’ arguments on every issue, and drizzled with a reduction sauce of Clarence Thomas’ pure sexual misconduct. This sandwich has a 4 star review from Feminist Food magazine with the review “why didn’t we think of eating these bastards sooner?” Served on a Kaiser roll.
The Vagitarian:
So delicious it will end up all over your lap, our delicious Sapphic sandwich will remind you of the delicate petals of Georgia O’Keefe whilst giving you the sustenance of bell hooks. Can be ordered vegan upon request.
Beyoncé:
“Feminist. The person who believes in the social, political and economic equality of the sexes.”
(Make it a Combo for $2)
7 Layers of Enthusiastic Consent Nachos:
Yes please, no thank you, is this okay, please let me know if you’re uncomfortable, would you like ____, I really like it when _____, topped with queso and jalapenos.
Emmeline Liverwurst:
Much like the suffragettes of old, liverwurst is a classic. Coated in aioli and mustard, ornamented with cowberries, mushrooms, and capers, the Emmeline Liverwurst is served as an open face sandwich so that you’re constantly aware that you’re being faced with profound gendered injustice.
Orange is not the Only Glaze:
Papaya-glazed chicken sandwich on a sesame seed bun, the perfect sandwich to enjoy while contemplating heteronormative reality and trying to explain genderqueerness to your cis, suburban, white mother.
Patriarchy Lobster Tail:
Coming with complimentary hammer for smashing, these freshly caught bottom feeders will remind you of every internet troll in a fedora whilst arming you the tools to break their computers until they learn how to behave like decent human beings.
The Clam Roll:
New England, the hotbed for all things freezing, humid, and caustic gives us the beauty that is the clam roll. It tastes like a Smith College grad student but with the subtlety of an Ivy League graduation rate, this no nonsense, no frills sandwich is served on a white roll with iceberg lettuce.
(Offer to your vegetarian friends if you want a two hour rant about how sea creatures aren’t vegetables and the environmental raping of mother earth through agribusiness.)
A Vindication of the Rights of Breakfast Burrito:
Scrambled eggs, sausage, potatoes, and hot peppers in tortilla. Slathered in Pain and Suffering hot sauce with a side of Not All Men salsa.
Tags: feminism, food, humor, lauren parker
I would like an Orange Is Not The Only Glaze, please.
(seriously that sounds quite nice)
Haven’t read anything past the first paragraph yet, but I especially like the gluten-free rye bread, which is also vegan because that’s super important on a ham sandwich. tee hee.
I’ll have what she’s having, but only because we’re in a committed, consensual D/s relationship wherein she gets to pick my sandwiches for me.
Please tell me the sandwich is served on a Kaiser roll to remind you that men are pointlessly venerated even in the names of bread items, but women are consistently treated as A! Special! Category!, so while no one would think twice of eating off a Kaiser roll, no man would eat off something called, I don’t know, a “Queen’s Bread” for fear of being thought of as a woman.
That kind of got away from me there.
A Tsaritsa Roll, perhaps?
Now you got me thinking about different types of rolls. My lunch break can’t come soon enough.
A Vindication of the Rights of Breakfast Burrito:
Yes Please I would like this.
I think I’ll be ordering the Vagitarian today, thank you.
If only Ike’s would let me name their sandwiches.
Does anyone else have the sudden urge to start a business? Because I can get behind these sandwiches. Okay, I can get behind most sandwiches, but these are particularly amazing.
My favourite sandwich shop ever is comprised entirely of sandwiches named after Wilco songs, so I am totally down for more sandwich pun-themed businesses.
SKY BLUE SKY 4EVER
I could eat a One Wing right now and I just finished lunch.
THE GREATEST
I work closer to the Corktown one but I refuse to go there because the guys at the Koreatown one are so nice and awesome. I want a Sonny Feeling every single day.
THERE ARE MULTIPLE LOCATIONS? I only visit Toronto occasionally so I had no idea there was a location other than Koreatown! Man now I want a sandwich.
The other one is pretty new! It’s close to King and Bay, though, which is one of my least favourite areas of the city because too many Finance and Sales Bros. I credit Sky Blue Sky for finally convincing me that I love honey mustard.
Okay, I think the real crime here aside from gender inequality is that I HAD NO IDEA THIS PLACE EXISTED AND APPARENTLY I LIVE REALLY CLOSE TO ONE.
I think if all of us put in a dollar we’d have enough seed money to make this real.
All I hear is Ilana Wexler incredulously saying “ssaah-HAAAND-wich sshha-HOPPP?!?” Which is pretty fitting, when you think about it.
In case anyone’s missing out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1aJm06GYCeo
Yes, thank you for doing that, we always need more Broad City converts.
I am mentally coming up with a list of cocktails to pair with these sandwiches. I’ve been unable to come up with anything other than “an entire box of wine”.
Well there goes my afternoon…
I also have a podcast called “Book Feelings” if anyone is interested. I forgot to put that in my bio.
Enthusiastic consent AND queso? Two of my favorite things!!!
THIS IS EVERYTHING I WANT IN LIFE.
I think if all of us put in a dollar we'd have enough seed money to make this real.
You had me at Judith Butler Napkins 😀
This list makes me want this sandwich shop to exist IMMEDIATELY. All that it’s missing is an “Angry Misandwich”
I tried to get a Pegging Salad Sandwich on there but it never got tight enough.
I tried to get a Pegging Salad Sandwich on there but it never got tight enough.
This sandwich approves.
I would like the vagitarian with a large glass of man tears and you know what make it a combo and give me a side salad with extra crushed nuts.