Previously in this series: Songs from a Decemberists Album Where Nobody Gets Murdered
“Your Aloof But Intriguing Friend Really Puts Herself Together Well, Maybe I Should Give Her My Number”
“The $20 We Just Found Will Be Used To Pay Down Some Credit Card Debt”
“Minnesota Provides An Excellent Backdrop For A Healthy, Well-Rounded Adolescence”
“I Remember It All So Clearly, The Time I Courted That Girl I Spent A Long Time Getting to Know First”
“Just Responsible Young Adults With Bright Futures, Not Taking Risks Or Abusing Substances In Public Places After Dark”
“There’s So Much To Do In This Town, Let’s Visit A Museum”
“No, Thanks, I’m The Designated Driver Tonight”
“I Got Over That Relationship Rather Quickly”
“That Girl Proved To Be Trustworthy”
“Stories From The Cotillion Circuit”
“Stumbling To Synagogue”
“Summer Internship At My Uncle’s Law Firm”
“Weekend At The Bed And Breakfast”
“Let’s Watch Netflix And Turn In Early”
“When There Weren’t Any Parties, She’d Head To The Library To Work On Her Thesis”
“Our First Encounter Was An Afternoon Coffee Date At Starbucks”
“Before This Goes Any Further, Let’s Consider Our Actions And All Their Repercussions”
“How To Deftly Navigate The Legal System Of The Great State Of Tennessee”
“Leading Ladies Who Are Treated With Respect And Dignity”
“Churches In My Hometown Where No One Has Ever Gotten High Or Had Regrettable Sex”
“Nope, Never Slept With Anyone Who Murdered Someone And Then Provided A Fake Alibi, Why Do You Ask”
“I Plan To Use My Clairvoyance To Ace The S.A.T.”
Tags: adrienne wichard-edds, matt sampson, music, the hold steady
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Authors, I would like to hug you, and then proclaim that we are all the Hold Steady. That is all.
The Hold Steady is my favorite band in the world and this is perfect, so thank you.
SECONDED
They are up on the top of my list, but I lack the strength of character to properly sort it. I haven’t been feeling the last album as much but for me their middle albums are some of my all time favorites. And I saw them live once (more than I can say for most bands these days), so there’s that! It was exactly what I expected.
Lifter Puller wasn’t half bad either… tangent: I discovered Hold Steady via a cover of a Lifter Puller song by another Twin Cities band, The Crush. /end tangent
“I Don’t Know What a Frontage Road Is, but I’m Going to Google It”
“She Wiped at Her Nose. There Was a Terrible Cold Going Around.”
They Had No Strong Feelings Either Way When They Found Out You Were A Catholic
There was a stage and Jars of Clay
Up in Western Massachusetts
And the kids came from miles around
To appreciate wholesome music
She drove in from boulder with a busload of churchmates
To spread the word and maybe take communion
Lo! She did and she was saved!
Now she’s feeling way too shaky
She wanted to tell the pastor all the sins that she was making
The angels hovered over
Like a somber mourning family
They gave communion wafers of rice
They flooded her with the blood of Christ!
“I got pretty blessed and then I woke up with enlightenment,
They gave me church wine and two testaments.”
A somewhat meta title: “Here’s a Song Free of Any Allusions to Literary Figures, Biblical Stories or Tropes, or Pop Culture in General”
“‘Ice’ Just Means Frozen Water”
She drove it like she just finished paying it off.
Chapeau, that’s the best one.
Well played, Kent. Very well played.
She just finished paying it off with a multitude of casualties.
A somewhat meta title: “Here’s a Song Free of Any Allusions to Literary Figures, Biblical Stories or Tropes, or Pop Culture References.”
‘We moshed with some skinheads in the pit – and they turned out to be very considerate, respectful people actually.’
‘Down by the banks of the Mississippi River, we saw some ducks with beautiful plumage.’
“We Just Chilled Out in the Chillout Tent”
Ask Her If She Has Sunscreen
Veterinary School (Dad’s Proud of You)
It Never Occurred To Me To Check At 3AM If That High School Boyfriend Has An Instagram Account
Turn That Springsteen Record Down, We Have A Two-Year-Old.
“This College Town’s Excellent Public School System Leads To Very Little Class Conflict”
“It was a mutual breakup. (We wave when we see each other around town now.)”
Aiieee, the Hold Steady are aware of this post!
AHhhhhhhhhh that is awesome.
“Work at the mill until you get your pension and can retire comfortably in Boca Raton”
“I Drove Past Ybor City On My Way To The Rays Game”
I am still trying to stop laughing and having very little luck, but what a wonderful chunk of humanity getting together around this great music and people and just “getting it”. Here is a big toast to the Toast!!! Rock on. But be safe.
Meet me down at the Hobby Lobby
And we will respectfully protest their somewhat extreme and slightly out of touch views on contraceptives.
Pretty Nice Rest Stop on Our Road Trip
“What’s this song that’s playing? No, I’m not familiar with that band.”
ALL MY WORLDS ARE COLLIDING! I believe I have mentioned this on here before but I have “Damn right I’ll rise again” tattooed on my lower back.
I just googled 'frontage road' like 3 days ago. hilarious!
This is beautiful.
“Tripping is for Teenagers, Murder is for Murderers, and Hard Drugs are for People Who Should Be In Prison”
Speaking of prisons, I keep waiting for the Hold Steady song about big prison in Stillwater just off the highway that looks like a castle. Hasn’t happened yet, but matter of time, I think.
Sauntering through the local mall with a rather rigorous shopping agenda.
Ahhh this is so perfect. I loved the Hold Steady so much in high school- I still do, but I listened to Boys and Girls in America about a million times and went to see them the night before I turned 17. But this reflects my life then (and now) so much better. Basically I vicariously made bad decisions in high school through songs about dirtbags.
“One for the Young People Who Deal with the Predictable Stresses of Adolescence by Talking About their Feelings with a Trusted Adult”