Toasties, yesterday I learned that my youngest child, who turns up her nose at most spicy foods these days, will eat salsa straight from the container (with a fork, apparently, because she is a lady). She cried when I took her fork and salsa away, so I gave them back — I don’t know, turns out “don’t eat salsa straight from the container” just isn’t a hill I’m willing to die on. And tomatoes are good for her. (Antioxidants!)

Speaking of tomatoes:

Later on some of my new neighbors came over and we grilled a lot of vegetables. I explained to them how our bagels were better because of our water and they explained to me how in a year they were all going to die in a massive drought. I said if that did indeed come to pass I would come and rescue their beautiful tomatoes, and they all seemed very grateful. —“California is Sunny!” by The New York Times’ Mark Bittman

This week Mallory became a HOMEOWNER, and her life may never be the same. Ashley Ford’s new column on cohabitation, Disrupting Domesticity, debuted on The Butter. Nicole explained The Jinx to ingrates everywhere. And if you have not read her birth story yet, then pop some popcorn and settle in:

My entourage was assembled: my husband Steve, my mom, my doula, my doula’s apprentice, an OB nurse, and the world’s hottest midwife. It was the first time I’d met her (you get whoever is on-call), and she was so hot my heart stopped. She was so hot that Steve took his life in his hands and whispered: babe, is it just me or does our midwife look EXACTLY like Beckett from Castle? She was so hot I didn’t even kill him.

Might you be in a Terry Pratchett novel? Do you need some good job advice? Have you ever wondered what a Johnny Cash album might be like if the law were just and your loved ones could be trusted? 

Liz Blocker wrote about coming out and the things her family cannot seem to talk about. Rachel Brownson remembered her uncle and his illness, and reflected on truths from which “we don’t get to be delivered.” Elizabeth Mills wrote about depression and transitioning and what’s in between. And Kathryn Ionata shared how she survives the frenzy and uncertainty of adjunct life — with a little help from Days of Our Lives. 

keep walking
don’t look directly at it
they can smell fear
no that’s bears again

Where I live it’s been snowing/hailing/raining all day, which is really some fresh bullshit, but surely spring is just around the corner now? I hope you all have a wonderful weekend, whatever the weather. See you next week!