Fasting Spittle Is Exactly What You Think It Is -The Toast

Fasting Spittle Is Exactly What You Think It Is

ByDaniel Mallory Ortberg

on June 2, 2015 in Advice

Folklore, huh, you’ve got fairy path, fairy ring, fairy tale, fairy-locks, fakelore, fasting spittle – that can’t mean what I imagine it means, can it?

Fasting spittle – saliva produced first thing in the morning, before breakfast – has been used to treat a wide variety of diseases for many hundreds of years. Spittle cures are usually considered to be more effective if fasting spittle is used.

“Wait! Before you spit on her – you haven’t eaten yet today, have you?”

“No.”

“Oh, good, carry on then.”

An early recorded use of spittle as a cure comes from the Gospel of St Mark, believed to have been written in about 70 AD:

And they bring unto him [Jesus] one that was deaf, and had an impediment in his speech … And he took him aside from the multitude, and put his fingers into his ears, and he spit, and touched his tongue; and saith unto him, Ephphatha, that is, Be opened. Mark 7:32–5

Writing at about the same time as Mark, the Roman natural philosopher Pliny commented in his Natural History that fasting spittle was efficacious in the treatment of ophthalmia, and that the fasting spittle of a woman was particularly beneficial for treating bloodshot eyes.

Hm. Okay. Where can I learn more?

A treatise on the virtues and efficacy of the saliva, or fasting spittle : being conveyed into the intestines by eating a crust of bread, early in a morning fasting, in relieving the gout, scurvey, gravel, stone, rheumatism, &c., arising from obstructions : also, on the great cures accomplished by the fasting spittle, when externally applied to recent cuts, sore eyes, corns, warts, &c.

That’s all well and good, but what does Pliny have to say about it?

But it is the fasting spittle of a human being, that is, as already stated by us, the sovereign preservative against the poison of serpents; while, at the same time, our daily experience may recognize its efficacy and utility, in many other respects. We are in the habit of spitting, for instance, as a preservative from epilepsy, or in other words, we repel contagion thereby: in a similar manner, too, we repel fascinations, and the evil presages attendant upon meeting a person who is lame in the right leg. We ask pardon of the gods, by spitting in the lap, for entertaining some too presumptuous hope or expectation.

SPITTING IN THE LAP FOR ENTERTAINING TOO PRESUMPTUOUS AN EXPECTATION. God bless.

Mallory is an Editor of The Toast.

Comments (33)

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+3 Vote up Vote down

picool · 513 weeks ago

So, is this like, first thing in the morning spittle, or can you clean your mouth first? Cause both are gross, but straight-out-of-bed spit is gross and smelly. I'm cringing imagining the ocular infections.

+12 Vote up Vote down

deleted7541601 123p · 513 weeks ago

This is almost as palatable as Romans using the sweat of gladiators as cologne.

5 replies · active 513 weeks ago

+30 Vote up Vote down

benwolfson 121p · 513 weeks ago

Gladiator sweat cologne is both the most Roman and the most amazing conceivable thing.

+2 Vote up Vote down

nicole_44 107p · 513 weeks ago

And publicly supplied piss for bleach.

+9 Vote up Vote down

benwolfson 121p · 513 weeks ago

Well, that's just practical.

+10 Vote up Vote down

Ethylbenzene 119p · 513 weeks ago

I mean, it's kind of a win-win. Tanners get all the pee they need, and there's somewhere better to pee than right out on the sidewalk. Fancy!

+1 Vote up Vote down

Xolandra 116p · 513 weeks ago

Meh, people used it to bleach their teeth, too. Or so Shakespeare would have us believe.

+6 Vote up Vote down

Sneza · 513 weeks ago

eye of newt and toe of frog are sounding tasty now

+6 Vote up Vote down

Scared_Vagina 117p · 513 weeks ago

Someone find that quote from Down and Out in Paris and London about how gnarly your spit gets after days of literally fasting. My google skills aren't up to it apparently.

4 replies · active 513 weeks ago

+22 Vote up Vote down

gefthetalkingmongoose 117p · 513 weeks ago

"Complete inertia is my chief memory of hunger; that, and being obliged to spit very frequently, and the spittle being curiously white and flocculent, like cuckoo-spit. I do not know the reason for this, but everyone who has gone hungry several days has noticed it."

Only found it thanks to remembering the word "flocculent," because, c'mon, "FLOCCULENT".

+8 Vote up Vote down

Scared_Vagina 117p · 513 weeks ago

*praise hands emoji*

+5 Vote up Vote down

deleted7541601 123p · 513 weeks ago

"... and being obliged to spit very frequently, and
the spittle being curiously white and flocculent, like cuckoo-spit.
I do not know the reason for this, but everyone who
has gone hungry several days has noticed it."

+6 Vote up Vote down

deleted7541601 123p · 513 weeks ago

Drat, out-searched!

+11 Vote up Vote down

dakimel 122p · 513 weeks ago

I was getting my annual this morning, and the nurse asked if I'd fasted, and I was all, "sure, totally" (yogurt doesn't count, right?), and she came at me with a mouth swab and asked again, was I really fasting?, and I copped to the yogurt and she put her swab away and sent me to just have bloodwork done instead.

Now I know why.

1 reply · active 513 weeks ago

+29 Vote up Vote down

maccrocodile 144p · 513 weeks ago

She was harvesting it for the fasting spittle black market!

+15 Vote up Vote down

damanoid 134p · 513 weeks ago

Basically, Western civilization was built on the teachings of spit magicians.

1 reply · active 513 weeks ago

+6 Vote up Vote down

Holly_Kat 85p · 513 weeks ago

"Spit Magician" is a great job title. I've got to find a way to work that into my resume somehow.

+34 Vote up Vote down

rachaeltalcott · 513 weeks ago

This is fascinating. Because the mouth is a perfect breeding ground for bacteria and some types of fungus (i.e. it's warm, moist, and sometimes contains food), saliva contains antibodies. Levels of those antibodies in the saliva are highest in the morning and lowest at night. So application of morning spittle to "recent cuts, sore eyes, corns, warts, &c" is really not a bad idea.

I can offer no scientific explanation for Pliny, though.

5 replies · active 513 weeks ago

+14 Vote up Vote down

Dancercise 117p · 513 weeks ago

Also, saliva has enzymes in it that break down the proteins in your blood, so it's super effective at getting out blood stains and cleaning blood off of skin.

+12 Vote up Vote down

j_bird 122p · 513 weeks ago

I have actually used a dab of spit as an emergency measure to fade period blood stains at work.

God, I love bodily secretions internet threads.

+30 Vote up Vote down

halloweenjack64 115p · 513 weeks ago

I can offer no scientific explanation for Pliny, though.

I think that "his parents bumped uglies" is a pretty safe assumption.

+8 Vote up Vote down

RuncibleSpoon 107p · 513 weeks ago

you mean it's not the sovereign preservative against the poison of serpents?

for some reason, that part really appeals to me. I'm imagining some poor person getting an asp bite, getting spat on repeatedly by the crowd which then gathers, and still dying despite all that free fasting spittle.
"Why did she die?"
"We didn't spit hard enough!"
"Did anyone have breakfast first? Yogurt still counts!"

+13 Vote up Vote down

Frumiosa 141p · 513 weeks ago

"we repel contagion thereby"

Lololololol repelling contagion by literally doing the thing that spreads contagion. I wonder what hopelessly stupid things we're doing in medicine now that they'll laugh at us for after we're all dead.

+15 Vote up Vote down

queenofbithynia 137p · 513 weeks ago

and saith unto him, Ephphatha, that is, Be opened.

ha ha, that that is just a big long ephphatha joke. if Jesus said that without spitting at him that would be much more remarkable.

what's with the sticking his fingers in his ears though, that's not really appropriate to do to a man you just met, Jesus

+18 Vote up Vote down

halloweenjack64 115p · 513 weeks ago

Well, we know that both urine (sterile after the first second or so of flow rinses out the urethra) and maggots (debrides gangrenous flesh) have their applications--oh, I'm sorry, I had no idea that anyone eats lunch this late. I can finish that for you. Hey, at least I didn't go on about "laudable pus"--dessert? Don't mind if I do!

+4 Vote up Vote down

leslieellenjones 109p · 513 weeks ago

Baby pee is another fun folk-medical ingredient. Wash your face with a used baby diaper to eliminate zits!

+7 Vote up Vote down

paulgknox 49p · 513 weeks ago

This means I can spit in a man's eye and tell him it's for his own good, right?

+1 Vote up Vote down

Keyboarder · 513 weeks ago

Does anyone here listen to Sawbones? This needs to be in an episode if it's not already

1 reply · active 513 weeks ago

+1 Vote up Vote down

Es_Petal 120p · 513 weeks ago

I have it on a list of podcasts I am checking out as and when I have time, not gotten to it yet!

+5 Vote up Vote down

damanoid 134p · 513 weeks ago

I wonder how many vials of Jesus-spit were hawked as relics over the years.

+2 Vote up Vote down

celticfeminist 42p · 513 weeks ago

"...spitting in the lap, for entertaining some too presumptuous hope or expectation" if only I had known that trick when I was dating.

+3 Vote up Vote down

alula_auburn 106p · 513 weeks ago

" And he took him aside from the multitude, and put his fingers into his ears, and he spit, and touched his tongue"

For some reason, I first read this as with the "his" referring to Jesus' own ears and tongue, which made it seem kind of like he was doing the Aramaic hokey-pokey or something.

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