Cars I’ve Made Out In and the Justification, In Order -The Toast

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Home: The Toast

car-731273_1280Geo Tracker – I didn’t have a driver’s license yet, just a ticket for underage drinking

Buick Century – Bench seats in the front and the back

Honda Accord – His mom and dad were home

Volkswagen Beetle – Technically, we just got high in the airport parking lot

Dodge Turbo convertible – “Exile in Guyville” was stuck in the tape deck

Dodge Tradesman – Fuck yeah, you can reach the mini-fridge and the ashtray from the mattress back here

Pontiac Firebird – His dad advised him only to get serious with the girl who remembered to reach across the seat to unlock his door

Chrysler LeBaron convertible – My dad, grandma, and boyfriend all owned the same model

PT Cruiser – Test-drove it for a newspaper assignment, thought it would help sales if I left my tights in the backseat

Geo Tracker (second time) – Cognitive dissonance

Honda Civic – I was in a Motel 6 parking lot but couldn’t afford a room

Subaru Outback – His wife and kids were home

Toyota Tundra – The truck was cleaner than his apartment

PT Cruiser (second time) – I was online-dating over the holidays

BMW M6 convertible – This was before he lost his medical license for trading Xanax for sex on Craigslist

Volkswagen Jetta – Two words: Man bun

Toyota Sienna – He told me to look for the Aston Martin when he picked me up

Kati Phillips lives and writes in Chicago. She prefers public transportation and judges the way you parallel park.

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