If Jenny Lewis were your girlfriend, one day you’d come home to find her painting a giant rainbow on your living room wall and you wouldn’t even be mad. “It’s beautiful,” you would say, setting down the gluten-free pizza you brought home. “No, you are,” she would reply, stroking your cheek with a wet paintbrush.
If Jenny Lewis were your girlfriend, your bangs would never need to be trimmed.
If Jenny Lewis were your girlfriend,
…