Bridesmaids! Is your bride totally quirky? Will a regular bachelorette party just not do? We’ve got some hot tips on totally unique and “weird” ways you can show her a good time. Resolve the previously contradictory conditions of dream and reality with your ladies!!!!!!

First, understand that the party you’re throwing is a revolutionary movement, something akin to an anti-bachelorette. It should aim to juxtapose the tangible planes of consciousness with the unbridled imagination of the id. DIY paper cocktail umbrellas should do the trick!

To test the physical limits of reality, go paintballing, or become eggs.

Some brides get cold feet, or wonder about buying into the historically oppressive institution of marriage and why they’re buying into it at all. Why stop there? Spend an evening in drinking rosé and contemplating the infinite nature of the universe and the myriad institutions we have set up to tie ourselves together in a reality that is likely a holographic projection of space-time. Don’t forget the rainbow cupcakes!

Go to a drag show with the knowledge that logic is a prison your mind must escape.

Consider the hypercube.

If your bride is the outdoorsy type, take peyote and hike to the top of the nearest mountain for a minimalist picnic brunch. Bring one apple to stare at while you instead eat twigs from the surrounding forest floor. Taste is subjective. Our perceptions are lies. Twigs will help her get to her wedding weight, though. Fun fact: the ants represent your overwhelming sexual desire.

Take a trapeze class together, and as you fling yourselves through the hollow air you will become beings of pure psychic automatism.

Drink margaritas and fall into a trance. One by one write down what each other is saying in this suspended state. You have found truth.

Have an 80s night!!!!!!