Bridesmaids! Is your bride totally quirky? Will a regular bachelorette party just not do? We’ve got some hot tips on totally unique and “weird” ways you can show her a good time. Resolve the previously contradictory conditions of dream and reality with your ladies!!!!!!
First, understand that the party you’re throwing is a revolutionary movement, something akin to an anti-bachelorette. It should aim to juxtapose the tangible planes of consciousness with the unbridled imagination of the id. DIY paper cocktail umbrellas should do the trick!
To test the physical limits of reality, go paintballing, or become eggs.
Some brides get cold feet, or wonder about buying into the historically oppressive institution of marriage and why they’re buying into it at all. Why stop there? Spend an evening in drinking rosé and contemplating the infinite nature of the universe and the myriad institutions we have set up to tie ourselves together in a reality that is likely a holographic projection of space-time. Don’t forget the rainbow cupcakes!
Go to a drag show with the knowledge that logic is a prison your mind must escape.
Consider the hypercube.
If your bride is the outdoorsy type, take peyote and hike to the top of the nearest mountain for a minimalist picnic brunch. Bring one apple to stare at while you instead eat twigs from the surrounding forest floor. Taste is subjective. Our perceptions are lies. Twigs will help her get to her wedding weight, though. Fun fact: the ants represent your overwhelming sexual desire.
Take a trapeze class together, and as you fling yourselves through the hollow air you will become beings of pure psychic automatism.
Drink margaritas and fall into a trance. One by one write down what each other is saying in this suspended state. You have found truth.
Have an 80s night!!!!!!
Tags: bachelorette parties, honestly a lot of these sound like fun, surrealism, totally quirky
“Spend an evening in drinking rosé and contemplating the infinite nature of the universe and the myriad institutions we have set up to tie ourselves together in a reality that is likely a holographic projection of space-time”
I mean, that’s every weekend though? What if we did all that while at Thunder Down Under?
Spend an evening in drinking rosé and contemplating the infinite nature of the universe and the myriad institutions we have set up to tie ourselves together in a reality that is likely a holographic projection of space-time. Don’t forget the rainbow cupcakes!
I demand someone throw me this party.
It’s seriously the first bachelorette party idea I’ve heard that sounds halfway reasonable.
For my SIL’s bachelorette party, we went to a nice restaurant/bowling alley combination. It had a real bar, so we could get increasingly blitzed while bowling. It was amazing.
Honestly, I just imagined this article with HEY LADIES! headers and footers and it went from great to terrifying.
the HEY LADIES Consume Hallucinogenics and Have Profound Realizations about Their Place in the Universe.
I also wanted a HEY LAIDES!
I can totally imagine one of them meeting a cool new quirky BFF, adding her to the mailing list, and realizing with increasing horror that she’s a conceptual artist. Attempts to slow-fade the friendship go badly because the other ladies just keep hitting reply-all.
……I got my first HEY LADIES bachelorette party invite yesterday. I cringed a little, then remembered I already had plans (thank god, bc no way could I afford the fancy-schmancy hotel)
My BFF is getting married in August, and I am so excited to plan her Bachelorette Hypercube Contemplation!
Fuck a bachelorette party, I’m doing all of these at my 32nd in November. I’ll wake up 33!
First read this as you were going to do them on the 32nd of November, and thought it was very fitting.
Where was this a couple months ago when I was planning one for my high school bff?! She LOVES twigs!
I didn’t want a theoretical bachelorette until I realized it could just be a trapeze class. Sold!
Yes, have been to a bachelorette trapeze class. Can recommend. Actually have been to basically all of these except 80’s night.
Most of my friends gasp in horror when I tell them this, but my best friend got married a few years back, and all the girls went to the main center of nightlife in the area (Center City in Charlotte NC, if anyone’s familiar). Basically it’s about a couple dozen bars/restaurants in a multi-level, outdoor-mall-type area. We had a hotel room and did the typical “pin the penis on the bachelor” games, and went out until 1:15am… the bars started to slow down (they close at 2am), and we wanted to rest our feet before we walked back to the hotel, so we stopped in a piano bar, only to find the bachelor party there, winding down from their own night out. Normally this would be awful, but our friend groups have always gotten along pretty well, so we just hung out with them until we shut down the bar, and it was seriously amazing. My best friend and her now-husband were juuuuuuust drunk enough to be both ecstatic to see and supremely cuddly with each other, so it was a really nice way to end the evening.
We did something similar (same city) – ended up meeting up with the bachelor party at Jackelope Jacks and all went bck to the couples’ house to hang out. Best plan ever – we had a blast!
We did something similar (same city) – ended up meeting up with the bachelor party at Jackelope Jacks and all went bck to the couples' house to hang out. Best plan ever – we had a blast!
All of these sound better than the traditional bachelorette party festivities which are tbh what my own personal hell would look like.
More stupid human mating rituals should involve heavy drugs. Bridal shower – the bride gets showered with a little “liquid sunshine” (and I don’t mean rain). Rehearsal dinner – instead a toast, the father of the groom offers a toke. Replace the honeymoon with an ayahuasca-moon. And so on.
Thunder Down Under makes an excellent 40th birthday/divorce party venue as well, if we are still considering it. Most likely a person is already contemplating the nature of the universe (mainly, the natures of truth, and time) then. Just add men backflipping onto tables and drinks.
Thunder Down Under makes an excellent 40th birthday/divorce party venue as well, if we are still considering it. Most likely a person is already contemplating the nature of the universe (mainly, the natures of truth, and time) then. Just add men backflipping onto tables and drinks.