Abbey Fenbert’s previous work for The Toast can be found here.
It’s time to face some hard truths.
Let’s Be Real: We’re not Elizabeth. If we’re anybody in this saga, we’re dark-clad Mary, who thinks conversation is better than balls. You know what, Mary? Conversation IS a better way to get to know people and we get you, we totally get you.
Let’s Be Real: Maybe we’re also the dad? Wry and detached and lazy and as far as we can tell vaguely drunk?
Let’s Be Real: We’d say yes to Collins.
Let’s Be Real: Waiting for us to walk that one back? Wait eternal. Just as we in 2015 will accept less-than-stimulating employment in order to avoid leeching off our parents like so many nineteenth-century medicinal leeches, our doppelgängers of yore would swallow our scruples and start negotiating. Separate halves of the house, minimal small talk, lists of five aristocrats we’re each allowed to bang.
Let’s Be Real: Doesn’t it seem like Mary’s into Collins? They’d be a good couple.
Let’s Be Real: We’d bone Wickham.
Let’s Be Real: In Bridget Jones’s Diary, she gets to have sex with the Wickham guy and the Darcy guy. Our times are objectively better than old times.
Let’s Be Real: The past was wretched.
Let’s Be Real: If Darcy wasn’t hot, would he really be that much more charming than Collins? He talks less, true. But he talks too less, interrupted with weird outbursts of aggressive oversharing. If he looked like Collins but kept his exact personality we’d be like, mmm really busy with my embroidery bye.
Let’s Be Real: No we’d be like, hello marriage of convenience! And accept his proposal the first time.
Let’s Be Real: Darcy is humorless. What do you even talk about with Darcy? I feel like we’d get super bored with him. “Darcy, what do you think of Ta-Nehisi Coates’ new book?” “No.” Or, “Darcy, who would win in a fight between a goat and a swan?” “You have less money than I do.”
Let’s Be Real: The hero of this story is Charlotte.
Lets Be Real: Darcy is too rich. #redistributionofwealth
Let’s Be Real: The Collins house? More my speed. Modest and manageable. Get it, Charlotte.
Let’s Be Real: The guy who plays Collins is a delightful actor. We should imdb him.
Let’s Be Real: We won’t.
Let’s Be Real: Since it didn’t work out with Collins, maybe Mary could hook up with that emo-looking chick Judi Dench’s character is related to? With the glasses? She’s kinda cute, all emo with those glasses.
Let’s Be Real: This story is oddly hostile toward female introverts and male extroverts.
Let’s Be Real: I keep saying “story,” but I mean “movie.” The 2005 one. The short one. I’ve read the book, yeah, fine, but this is just where we are now, moving on.
Let’s Be Real: Mr. Bennett is addicted to opiates.
Let’s Be Real: We don’t understand the mechanisms of old-school British patriarchy. What’s this deal with Georgiana’s inheritance? I thought girls couldn’t inherit stuff? And that was the whole urgent issue with the Bennet sisters? Can they inherit money but not property? Out in the literate world, we’ll pretend like we’re familiar with the specific historical context. We are not. We should Wikipedia this.
Let’s Be Real: Nah.
Let’s Be Real: Bingley is a dolt. He’s a fancy pincushion with the pins arranged in a smiley face. Despite his claims, we’re not convinced he can read. We would still marry him.
Let’s Be Real: We would marry literally any man in this movie because otherwise we’d starve.
Let’s Be Real: Reality has no time for pride or prejudice. Real life is about hunger and compromise, and we are clear-eyed realists who do what needs to be done. In this case what we would do is any and all of these men.
Let’s Be Real: Mrs Bennett isn’t that bad. She’s often played for laughs, and portrayed as vulgar and embarrassing, but in reality she is panicked all the time that her saughters are going to starve. Her entire life is just trying to make sure her girls have a place to live. Keep it up, Mrs. B.
one of my only real beefs with the BBC P&P was how they portrayed Mrs. Bennet, a nervous realist, but a realist nonetheless.
This is some truth right here. That was one of the things I vastly preferred about the 2005 version (though there were pros and cons for both – I like them about equally) – they make Mrs. Bennet a lot more real and sympathetic than the “oh my poor nerves!” caricature of the BBC P&P. 2005 Mrs. Bennet, though still vulgar and embarrassing and all, at least gets that one great line about, “tell me what else you would worry about if you had 5 daughters!” Which, YES. If you had 5 daughters and no male heirs and you knew they were going to be tossed out once your old lazy husband bites it, what the fuck else would you spend your time on other than getting them married off so they’d be taken care of? Really now.
Really, if you were anyone other than Lady Catherine de Bourgh, you were going to be concerned with marrying off your daughters. Mrs. Bennett is just the era-appropriate version of a modern parent who’s a little too anxious about their child’s educational choices. She takes it too far, but she has a completely valid concern about the future economic prospects of her children and her own security in old age.
THANK YOU! I have always thought that Mrs. B is like the mom who really wants her kids to become doctors/engineers/lawyers.
I think the 2005 movie humanized a number of the characters. I love Austen, but she did like to have these ridiculous over-the-top characters for comic relief. The 2005 movie gives Collins a little depth and adds some actual affection underneath the Bennet marriage, which I really enjoyed. It’s not often you get an actually new interpretation of an Austen story, never mind one that may be an improvement.
Yeah, the Mr. Collins and their interpretation of Mary was great. I loved the scene where Mr. B. was comforting Mary when she was upset at the party and how Mr. Collins is portrayed as legit afraid of Lady Catherine.
I lose my shit whenever I see Mr. Bennet comforting Mary at the party. Like, he’s capable of realizing that his perpetual-satirist thing can actually hurt people and he cares about his daughter after all.
Dad, all I ever wanted to do was make you proud of me, okay? NO I’M NOT CRYING
“Have you read SENSE AND SENSIBILITY, Mr. Bennet? This entailment shit sucks.”
Mrs. Bennett is a prophet! Nearly everything she predicts will happen, happens! That business with sending Jane off in the rain to Netherfield so she gets sick and has to stay and Bingley falls in love with her is a pro move.
That is also how I feel about Mrs. Jennings in S&S – in the end she’s dead on about almost everything AND she stayed to help care for fevery Marianne, like a boss.
Here for this. I love this version. Now is definitely better than then, because you know that now Darcy and Lizzy would totally have hate-fucked after that first marriage proposal. Then all they could do was glower meaningfully at each other for a few seconds.
I love this version too! One of my favorite movies to watch whenever I get sick or just don’t know what I feel like watching – worth it for the cinematography and soundtrack alone.
Mine too! It’s so comforting, and I absolutely adore the score.
But those are some pretty excellent few seconds.
Yes. This is far and away my favorite version. The history major in me just gets ridiculously happy whenever a pig wanders by or it’s obvious that these people do not have indoor plumbing. Also, 1790s fashion as opposed to the unspeakable things they did to Jane’s hair in the BBC version.
The pig-balls shot, and Mrs. Bennet’s reaction as she’s trying to get Mr. B’s attention, are just priceless. Brenda Blethyn is amazing.
call me a philistine, but the pig-balls shot is the only thing I just utterly do not comprehend at all in the ’05 version.
that and Mr. Darcy inserting into the first proposal,”because I had reservations about our relationship ” which sounds unforgivably modern to me. Like…were they dating? Nope that was not a thing. They weren’t even engaged or betrothed or had stood in the same room too long or any of that 1700’s confusingness.
I think he just meant how they related to each other socially. Like classwise. I’ve come across people tossing the word relationship around a lot in my old letter reading research and I’m pretty sure none of them meant it in a dating sense. …probably. I mean, I’m researching a 19th century naval voyage. Who knows what all those men got up to below decks.
“below decks”
I see what you did there, Big Hair.
I do try.
(mops fevered brow)
Shall I fetch the smelling salts?
Yes please!! And my fainting couch, if you would. And Colin Firth.
I want to like this version so much but I just can’t! I hated it the first time I saw it but then I revisited it recently because I thought maybe I was just being a hater and a book purist, and also I love Keira Knightley 1000x more now than I did then, but I still really couldn’t stand it 🙁
Hate this version and the purple-prose “improvements” they made on Austen’s dialogue.
Yeees. I can deal with it, but wow is shit way too emo.
I tried it and I just couldn’t make it more than 15 minutes. I found most of it fine but, although I really really like Keira Knightley, I just found her… awful. Like, not her acting but her version of Elizabeth, in historical context I just kind of wanted to shake her. Now I think about it I realise this is because I now agree with the above post, that Mrs B is not ridiculous and omg PLEASE make an effort to get yourself married, or at least not to make yourself unmarriageable. Like ok, you’re smart or whatever but pls pay attention to the world around you, do you want to starve in a ditch?? If yes, then go ahead and keep giggling and tossing your head, sure.
Also, now I’m older, I find Darcy totally insufferable. The book and Colin Firth get a pass, because I read/saw them in my youth, but I just find MacFadyen’s Darcy so unappealing. Ugh. What a bore.
Should I try again, Toasties? Am I really missing out? Now I think about it I haven’t rewatched the BBC version in ages either, and I suspect I might enjoy it a WHOLE bunch less now, for similar reasons. How is Charlotte Lucas in this one? WHERE IS CHARLOTTE LUCAS’ MOVIE?
Jennifer Becton wrote “Charlotte Collins: A Continuation of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice”–it’s satisfying, there’s a happy ever after.
“Marry a lawyer?” What kind of advice is THAT? Like, if you’re going to marry for money, marry someone actually rich. Marry a CEO!
Fun fact: Carey Mulligan’s first professional acting role was as Kitty Bennett in this version (my personal favorite, fuck the haters) of P&P. She met Julian Fellowes once and told him she wanted to be an actress and he told her she should “marry a lawyer” instead (UGH). So she wrote him a letter basically saying “screw you” (except more polite and British I think) and his wife Emma invited her to a dinner where she met the casting director for Pride and Prejudice and was catapulted to FAME AND GLORY and a starring role in the “Blink” episode of Doctor Who. Which just confirms, Carey Mulligan is awesome and Julian Fellowes/old white men are the WORST
That Julian Fellowes thing is revolting, but all the same I would have advised her to pack it in after “Blink,” it’s never going to get better than that Carey Mulligan, LET’S BE REAL.
Carey Mulligan <3 She is also in the ITV Northanger Abbey adaptation as Isabella, which I like a lot!
I love that version! All the dream sequences are perfect. Felicity Jones and JJ Feild are adorable and Carey Mulligan makes a terrific Mean Girl friend.
That’s one of my favorite movies! I think only that one and Belle made me sorry I wasn’t living in the movie when they ended. Carey Mulligan was a perfect Isabella!
This story is amazing and wonderful, and I hope she someday wrote a letter to JF being like “I’m sure glad I didn’t take your advice, please suck it.” He didn’t even say “go get a law degree” instead which would have been decent advice given the chances the general population has at becoming a star, he said “marry a lawyer” like we still live in the times of Pride & Prejudice?!?
Sally Sparrow, dang. I love her so much. Also that ep has the best line ever. “When you say ‘the guys,’ you mean the internet, don’t you?” “How’d you know?!?”
Indeed. I felt both sides of that conversation so hard.
Women could inherit money and property – unless it was entailed, which Mr. Bennett’s property was (some long-ago jackhole of an ancestor decided that the property had to pass down the male line).
Women also couldn’t (and can’t) inherit titles.
Unless Scottish. Scottish women could inherit titles. Go, Scotland.
Cool. Didn’t know that. Hoots, mon.
All the Regency romances I read, and I didn’t even know that until the most recent one I finished. (Mary Jo Putney’s The Rake)
We also kept our own names when married up here until a few centuries ago.
That’s true socially, but legally our names remain the same after marraige. My mum was disconcerted to get her first OAP cheque from Britain in her maiden name which she had not used in nearly 40 years. A whole £5, too.
It was possible to break an entail, but you needed the consent of the next male heir to do so. That’s why the Bennets kept having kids – they were trying for a boy who could join with Mr. Bennet in disentailing the estate so it could divided between all the children.
Yup – but how often did that happen? It’s essentially treated as unbreakable (and lets not even get into the Rule Against Perpetuities).
It’s a real gamble: keep having kids in hopes that one turns out to be a male, all the while increasing the household expenses by producing girl children. Yay, patriarchy.
There was a slightly (maybe?) less disturbing reason for the entail than just not letting women have stuff. Say your daughter gets married, and you want her to have things and her children to inherit them, but you don’t want, say, her husband’s deadbeat nephew to get it when she dies. Entailing it was a way to circumvent the ‘all the woman’s property becomes her husband’s’ rule, so it meant he couldn’t dispose of it and if she died in childbirth or something he didn’t get to keep it. It then went back to your family, and one of your other heirs got it. So it was really a way to keep things in your family line if you only had daughters. It just didn’t work well for everyone. (And obviously if women could have just held onto their own property to start with it wouldn’t have been an issue…like somebody else said, yay Scotland.)
I’ve just started reading a biography of Ada Lovelace and I’m only up to the bit about Byron and his family. It’s basically all ‘jeez it would have been great if these estates were entailed so when these heiresses married these complete wastes of skin, who spent all their money and abandoned them, at least the former heiresses wouldn’t have starved in a ditch, probably.
I am so so so so so glad I live in the future.
Isn’t that what settlements were for? A certain amount of wealth would be settled on a woman at marriage, and it would be hers forever, and left according to her will? Otherwise there would be no heiresses.
I did over-simplify it a bit. A settlement did that, yes. An entail would pretty much always wind its way back to the original family as it essentially pre-established a line of succession. It worked similarly for daughters and younger sons both, because they could inherit something without the family land actually being broken up into pieces. Sorry, this probably still doesn’t make loads of sense; it is ridiculously complicated and my legal history class was a couple of years ago now. 😉
In fact I think they were just trying for a boy so *he* could inherit, and then take care of his sisters from that position (which, of course, did not work out so well in a novel or two later, in Mansfield Park).
No, property could be entailed (for the next 3 generations after the person who set up the entail, I think) any way in the world that the person who set it up wanted. It didn’t have to pass down the male line; it could have been passed down to a daughter (actually, to her husband) or a son’s daughter, if that was the original intention. But once the entail was set up, the property it covered had to be passed down the way it said, and obviously Mr. Bennett’s ancestor had decided that if there were no sons then a daughter’s son was preferable to a son’s daughter, but that was not the inevitable way of entails.
So my understanding of it is that you could entail it to, say, go to your daughter but then, when she died, revert to the nearest male heir. Is that correct?
Also, women could inherit money and land, BUT when they got married, surprise, all that now belonged to their husbands! Hooray! If said husband wants to sell the family land and gamble the money away, he can, no worries. ISN’T THE PAST ROMANTIC?
Yes, you could set it up that way if you wanted to. Note that an entail was good only for a certain number of generations. I think it was three, but it might have been five. The person in the last generation of the entail then owned the property free and clear, and could do whatever with it — or set up a new entail covering the next few generations.
And as someone else already mentioned, husbands gambling away property (their own or their wives’) was one of the things an entail was meant to prevent.
Not necessarily? From lit, not history, but in The Woman In White, half the action stems from Laura’s refusal to blindly sign her fortune over to her husband – it only goes to him automatically once she’s dead. I think there’s a distinction in there between the principle and the interest, though. As in, he would automatically get the interest on the fortune, but the principle wasn’t his to touch.
Oh, wow. Thank you for the explanation as to why Mr. Collins’ last name is not Bennet. That had bothered me for years
It would have gone to a younger sons son or probably even a male line distant cousin before a daughters son.
I vaguely remember Alistair Cooke explaining the entailment thing during the 1980 version on Masterpiece Theater. So much of my youth was Alistair Cooke attempting to explain British people.
He did it in reverse, too! (i.e., explaining Americans to British people in his long-running radio series, Letter from America)
Two nations divided by a common language, united by a Cooke.
I saw a wonderful Claymation parody once, in which a round clay disc with kind droopy eyes and thin crossed legs said mellifluously, “Good evening. I’m Alistair Cookie,” which made me laugh and laugh.
surely you are also familiar with Sesame Street’s Alistair Cookie, host of Monsterpiece Theatre?
Thank you for the explanation! I knew readers of the Toast would be savvy and informed. To a degree that shames me, perhaps; thankfully I am quite shameless.
Complete truth.
Also. Coloneldad cried the first time he watched this movie. In the middle of the theater. Just unabashedly wept (mostly) manly tears. It will forever be the best adaptation for that reason alone.
Who is Coloneldad????
Tom Hollander (Mr. Collins) IS a delightful actor! Let me imdb him for you. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0390903/?ref_=ttfc_fc_…
Yes! I was coming down here to say this, but you did it for me. My love for him is mostly based on the fact that he was in the (BBC?) Wives and Daughters adaptation but yes, he is great I agree.
(P.S. That adaptation is great I love it everyone should watch it if they haven’t, although North & South is better I will acknowledge)
Oh, Mr. Thornton. Oh, yes.
I am thrilled to report I once saw him eating dinner with Ralph Fiennes in London. He’s a wee gent.
I love this mental image I now have. Thank you. Don’t add any more though please. In my head they’re out for a pizza together and it’s perfect as is.
I would direct anyone agreeing with the delightfulness of Tom Hollander to the truly heartwarming ‘Rev’ (BBC), and also to his sterling work in ‘In The Loop’, particularly this scene: https://youtu.be/7mAFiPVs3tM
What a gem you are! Thanks, and good work Tom!
Let’s Be Real: If this story were written in 2015, bookish and plain Mary would be the protagonist, while Lizzie would be the slightly Mean Girl older sister side character.
This is basically the plot of Mansfield Park!
It’s written in 2012, not 2015, but magneticwave’s I’ll Write You Harmony In C is exactly that, and it’s amazing. From the description: “Mum, the fact that Lydia was the first of us to end up barefoot and pregnant is honestly a source of continual surprise to me.” // As it turns out, Mary Bennet’s internal checklist to Being a Good Person—go to medical school; join Médecins Sans Frontières; save lives—is a somewhat oversimplification of matters.
Honestly, I suspect that Lizzie is a real pain in the arse.
The other option for the 2015 version is for it to be a YA novel with Kitty as the clueless but pure-of-heart protagonist, who idolises her sisters and learns different ‘how not to be’ lessons from all of them, over the course of the book.
The soundtrack for this film is on fucking POINT. And though I understand that to some it’s akin to heresy, I find MacFayden’s clearly introverted and vaguely hostile to literally everyone Darcy way hotter than the Colin Firth just sort of grouchy Darcy.
I love them for separate reasons, which can be summed up as Colin = sweet googly eyes, Matthew = kicked puppy eyes.
have you seen Little Dorrit, he basically kicked-puppy’s all over that thing
My friend and I had this EXACT discussion. We both think Firth is a more accurate Darcy, but MacFayden is hotter.
YESSSSSS. I’ll always love Colin Firth, but MacFayden is mouth-watering. His deep, resonant, plummy English voice just sends it all right over the edge.
1000% accurate.
oh my god yes. his little stammer when he says “I love, I love, I love you…most ardently”…..
I’ll be in my bunk.
I agree with everything you said so hard I need to both comment and like this.
yes, my argument with friends is that McFadyen’s Darcy is just introverted, shy, and awkward, whereas Firth’s Darcy actually IS an asshole who needs to get over himself.
which is why Firth’s character arc is more true to the book, but in no world would I not just swoon all over McFadyen’s puppy eyes + gorgeous voice.
Um yes to the music. I want to miniaturize Dario Marianelli and keep him in my pocket with a tiny piano at all times.
It makes the most epic homework music. I feel suffused with brilliance when I listen and memorize my anatomy terminology.
Agreed on all counts!
Unabashedly love this movie, hate how Charlotte is treated as a recipient of pearl-grasping BUT LOVE because no. Love ain’t shit compared to social status, security, and achievement in Regency England. Team Mrs B and Charlotte and Team Mr B Is an Asshole.
Also I could give a fuck about Darcy. Bingley might be a smiling idiot but he was crazy about Jane so shit yeah, Bingley.
Seriously. Get it, Jane. He’s an affable idiot, but he’s crazy about you.
Random trivia fact: our beloved Emma Thompson wrote that speech for Charlotte in this version. She also helped set up the scene in which Lizzie tells Darcy and her aunt and uncle Gardiner about Kitty’s elopement. Yay!
If only they had enlisted her screenwriting help for the entire movie.
I was thrilled when the guardian did a special on pride and prejudice and someone’s mini-thesis was basically ‘the dickotry of mr b’: http://www.theguardian.com/books/2013/jan/26/prid…
Yes, Mary was totally into Mr. Collins, and I’m glad someone else recognizes this.
Also, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VEknDY0WwZ8
Let’s Be Real: Sense & Sensibility is the superior movie/book/set of sisters. Team Dashwood meeting over here.
Team Elinor in the house! Not that I’m not Team Marianne, but I pretty much want to tell Marianne GROW THE FUCK UP and GET OVER IT and NO YOU’RE NOT IN LOVE YOU FELL FOR A HANDSOME DOUCHEBAG throughout the whole book, which pretty much means I amElinor.
I love Sense & Sensibility except for what happens to Marianne! She’s histrionic and obnoxious but that’s mostly her mom’s fault, and also she’s a teenage girl whose mother doesn’t set proper boundaries for her and the result is that she gets duped by a shithead and almost dies, only to recover and basically be giftwrapped and delivered to an old dude as his consolation prize for not getting to marry his true love like 20 years ago.
I can see that point of view but my heart says that Brandon’s great. He respects her talent! He has a falcon / kestrel type bird (in the newer version)! And… maybe he’ll die and she’ll take his money and move to Italy and have a string of great lovers.
I am at the very least Team Col Brandon As Portrayed By Alan Rickman. Yussss I am.
I think that everyone is Team Whomever As Portrayed By Alan Rickman. That man is perfect.
On reading that, I am immediately forming Team “Sense & Sensibility” With Alan Rickman Playing Everybody in the Movie. Care to join?
I got my 12-year-old babysitting charge to watch S&S and she was exceedingly charmed by Willoughby and then distressed when he turned out to be a cad and a bounder. Her verdict was that she wished that Greg Wise could have played Colonel Brandon. I am a deep lover of Alan Rickman as the Colonel, but I also can certainly respect attraction to Greg Wise!
If he’s good enough for Emma Thompson, he’s good enough for me.
There was a musical of Sense and Sensibility staged in Chicago this summer and Brandon was a) awesome, b) had totally the best song, and c) adorable–although originally he caused me some dissonance in that I had never imagined him blond.
I admit that I disliked that musical, because it took out so much of the introspection and snarky narrative voice that I enjoy in the original S&S. Also, all the wigs! Brandon’s wig was particularly apparent–it looked like someone scalped Zapp Brannigan and plunked the yellow shellacked mess atop the actor’s head.
As a 36-year old (Col. Brandon’s age in the book), I take issue with your calling him “an old dude.”
Old by the standards of the day/compared to Marianne! I would assume Alan Rickman was well over 36 when that movie was made and he was still a hot piece and I would marry him, but I am also not 16!
When I first read S&S in high school, my reaction was OMG EWWWW HE’S SO OLD.
So, my husband is 37 now. I should try to get him into a flannel waistcoat.
I read Austen partly for the finely drawn jerks, and on those grounds I have to give the nod to S&S, which boasts a beautifully matched pair of monsters in John and Fanny Dashwood. And then you have Willoughby, Mr. Palmer, Mrs. Ferrars, Robert Ferrars…Lady Catherine and Caroline can’t begin to compete with such a deep bench.
Honestly, that first chapter of S&S, where they talk each other out of being good people, is such a chillingly accurate portrayal of humanity, it should win a Pulitzer Prize all by itself.
As a lawyer, I’ve always enjoyed the line “People always live forever when there is an annuity to be paid them”.
I definitely see this point of view but, on the other hand, it’s a beautifully balanced relationship. She wants to be happy and carefree and romantic, and he wants her to be too, and enables those things – with his wealth but more importantly (ok just as importantly), his care for her. I think she needs to be doted on. She always has been and, as you say, her boundaries were utter shite. And he wants someone to dote on. I can actually see their relationship growing with them, given that it’s actually fairly equal, powerwise, internally at least. Lbr, she’s got him wrapped around her little finger (and he loves it).
While I ADORE Alan Rickman, and find his Brandon swoon worthy, I think the ‘December/may’ aspect is more evident in that version. Partly because Kate Winslet looks so wan and broken post London/once she’s with Brandon. I get much more of a ‘well now the world has ruined me, I have retreated to this safe haven, I guess it’s ok’ vibe. Whereas I think the 2008 mini series gets more of the book-tone of ‘now that I’ve had a short sharp shock, I’ve looked at things a different way and hey, actually that dude who is nice to me all the time has some really good points and… huh I think I might… like… him?’ They let Marianne have more power, I think. Inasmuch as any regency lady does. I obviously love the Emma Thompson version but I think the casting in that one was just not really great. It relies a lot on the audience’s previous relationship with those actors, and as it ages I think it suffers for it.
The ages are generally all wrong in that movie, because when Elinor is that much (apparently) older than Marianne there appears not to be a difference of character but one of experience.
Yes yes S&S is great but Persuasion is the best Austen of all time! Anne Elliot + Captain Wentworth 4EVA. For me, as I’ve gotten older, it’s become the only Austen romance where I genuinely like both participants and don’t find the power balance all fucked up. (Which frankly is a product of me viewing Austen novels less as romances and more as comedies about real estate as I’ve gotten older, but Persuasion is still romantic, damn it.)
And the movie with Amanda Root and Ciaran Hinds is wonderful.
You’re damn right it is!
But whyyyy did it turn into Run Lola Run at the end?
So there could be a parade!
Yessssss Persuasion, the best
I didn’t like that one when I was a teenager but I love it so much now. Can you even imagine being Anne Elliot and not snapping off on your family 1,000 times a day? She was a saint.
YAAAAAAS. Significantly helped by the permanent image of Rupert Penry-Jones as Captain Wentworth.
CIARÁN HINDS 4EVA
Yes, but that version had the 500-year lean-in for the kiss at the end. JUST KISS, OH MY GOD.
Absolutely!
I’m so pleased to find more Persuasion lovers!!!
YESSS. Persuasion is definitely the best. I love Anne Elliot wholeheartedly and Wentworth is my favorite Austen man by far.
I read Persuasion for the first time as the last book I had to read in a semester about English Romanticism. After having to read Mary Wollstonecraft’s Right’s of Woman and her husband’s book Caleb Whatsit, Persuasion seemed like the most delightfully fluffy sort of easy-reading literature I had ever come across. I have been deeply fond of it ever since.
Persuasion used to be my favourite Austen, and then I went through a period where i hated the way she was so passive and limpid and just waits around for things to happen to her. But as I get older, and think more about what history was like as a lived experience for women, I’ve come to love it again. Honestly, what else can she do? She lives her life with as much dignity as is possible, and I love the shit out of her for that.
I way over-identify with Elinor Dashwood, especially as portrayed by Hattie Morahan. I adore Emma Thompson’s version, but I also have a soft spot for the 2008 series.
The 2008 series is SO GOOD, right? So good. I was highly skeptical that I wouldn’t just spend the whole time comparing Morahan to Thompson, but she’s so different and so good in that different way. It’s wonderful.
Ok, the comparison of Collins to that job you take even though it’s a little dreary there in the cubicle farm and you fantasize about running off to raise goats but in the end it’s stable and there are good benefits so you just stick it out and buy some goat cheese next time you’re at the store is perfect.
And I always thought being married to Mr. Darcy would be a series of awkwardnesses. Now, Captain Wentworth would be some really smoldery good lovin’ and Henry Tilney would be fun to hang around with, but I do not get the Darcy love.
Tilney > Darcy, forever and always.
I think Tilney may be my favourite Austen hero, but that only happened after watching the JJ Feild/Felicity Jones adaptation soooo I’m not sure if it’s the book or the actor that changed that for me.
Ooh! Book Tilney is so, so much more charming than Feild Tilney! Read the book if you want a treat. It’s such a delight, and so funny. It’s really the hidden gem of the Austen books.
JJ Feild’s EARS. And that VOICE. Yes.
that voice, indeed
I choose to ignore the “I’ve been in love with you since you were 13” part and choose Mr. Knightley as my husband.
OMG, Tyga is the Mr. Knightley to Kendall Jenner’s Emma! It’s so romantic!
Wentworth >>>> Darcy.
The man can write a letter.
YOU PIERCE MY SOUL
I AM HALF AGONY, HALF HOPE
(fans self)
Fan me while you’re at it.
You know, I never really fancied him when I was teenager, but as I get older, it’s like, “Oh, he is the obvious choice out of all of them.”
UNFFFFFF
Team Colonel Fitzwilliam here! (Curse younger sons and their need to marry heiresses)
Let’s Be Real: any time we refer to a man in our lives as “a Darcy type” they turn out to be a Wickham.
LBR: any time we refer to a man in our lives as ‘A Darcy type’ they turn out to be ACTUALLY a darcy type, i.e., a disapproving, smug mansplainer with impossible standards for people he will deign to date but a complete unwillingness to self examine.
(I love P&P but really)
…Many things in my life just became clear.
I wish it had not taken me till I was 34 and getting divorced to realize this.
Let’s Be Real: I can’t be the only one here who read “conversation is better than balls,” and was NOT picturing fancy parties.
*raises my teenaged hand*
Also, “Conversation is better than balls” might be another addition to the toast-inspired line of home decor we all need. Throw pillow or sampler?
Throw pillow for the guest bedroom.
I read that Judi Dench was always embroidering obscene things onto pillows whenever she was on set. So yes. Lady Catherine de Bourgh would approve.
I love that she knows how to embroider well enough to surreptitiously embroider rude things.
Do we have a master list? Crafting is one of my only great reaponses to WINTER IS TERRIBLE. And while I had fun adapting a misandrist lullaby last year, I’m glad to have more Toast-inspired ideas.
This is now written on my dorm room chalkboard.
Photos will be in the Friday cocktail hour if I figure out pictures.
I might have to add that to my embroidery crafting list, along with “tits out, peacock bread, time to stab a fish”
I only now just realized the author actually meant balls of the Netherfield variety. What the hell is wrong with me?
Ditto. I thought it was a reference to her assumed lack of libido. Didn’t even question it until I got to these comments
Same.
Why not both?
*Netherfield*… snicker.
never calling them anything else now
You’re not alone. I just thought it was a somewhat oddly-chosen superlative (like “hotter than balls” or “better than chocolate” I guess) and didn’t even question it. *shakes head at self, pours another cup of coffee*
Oh! they meant “dancing” balls? I was not picturing a fancy party.
I mean…
I don’t think I would have gone so far as to accept Mr. Collins because when you factor in the Lady Catherine situation that seems like a pretty lateral move, but I would have super accepted Mr. Darcy’s first proposal even if I hated him because I have lived in a situation where I only liked two of my six roommates and it is worth marrying a rich asshole to escape that shit.
I mean it’s a lateral move in terms of her life now, but in terms of her future… her options are… starve, or find a friend or elderly relation who needs a paid companion. And people who need companions tend not to be that pleasant, otherwise people voluntarily hang out with them. So basically her options are 1) Marry collins and live in Lady Catherine’s shadow 2) maybe MAYBE you have enough family that you can be the aunt in the household who is the general dogsbody 3) If you’re LUCKY and can find a position, live with someone quite like lady Catherine, except your whole actual job and reason for living is making her happy 4) if you can get an annuity somehow, slowly starve in a garret/gutter.
I would absolutely have married Collins. Lady Catherine is awful but manageable and also can’t live forever. Having the running of a household that you can set up how you like is pretty rad, I remember watching it as a teen and being like ‘heck yeah’!
I would be a governess any day rather than marry Collins. “Starve” isn’t really the only option. And if I had to, I bet I could be a burden to my father for quite a while, who would not like to see me starve, and then a spinster aunt, who might dabble shockingly in land management and try to manage the estate a little better than Mr. Bennett is doing.
And teach your sister’s ten children to embroider cushions and play their instruments very ill.
Damn right! The Bennet daughters were intelligent, healthy and well educated. They had lots of options if they just stopped thinking they had no options.
Get a loan from Mr. B. or the lawyer uncle and open a store in London or Bath selling fabric, or soap, or ouija boards.
Become a governess or open a school for girls.
Teach music or dancing from a studio, not to a single rich family.
Oh hell, get a damn job as a maid. The only ones who think domestic service is not ‘respedtable’ are not worth paying attention to.
<< Retreats into the night, screaming imprecations at bourgeois obliviousness.>>
Option 5) renounce your position in society and become a woman of night in London or 6) take to the sea.
Let’s be real: you would definitely still marry Darcy if he weren’t hot because he’s still the richest guy in the county, you’d just always do it once a year, doggy style, and spend the rest of the time living in your separate wings of your giant house.
Step 1: Heir
Step 2: Spare
Step 3: Scandalous life on the Continent
Seems legit.
What could go wrong?
“The guy who plays Collins is a delightful actor. We should imdb him.”
Hell yes, Tom Hollander! Have loved him forever. Watch Wives and Daughters and fall deeply in love, everyone.
I think I responded to another one of your comments upthread, but I super hard agree with this. That is all.
Can’t. Have Tom Hollander in Cambridge Spies in my head, and I would never be able to trust he wasn’t checking out the dude five feet to the left.
This. He is forever confused with Guy Burgess in my head now.
Actual lol at “Darcy, what do you think of Ta-Nehisi Coates’ new book?” “No.”
So taciturn. So unwilling to read what is popular today. So completely in character.
Except that he tries to make (pleasant) conversation with Elizabeth about books in the actual novel!
I guess I should have specified in character as far as the movie’s concerned 🙂
You’re very gracious! I’m way too much of a novel purist.
Oh, I can nitpick with the best when I want to, too. I totally understand the urge!
I am here for this because it has always been my opinion that Darcy is the worst.
Let’s Be Real: Mary is the “bookish and plain” sister but she is played by Tallulah Riley, I mean come on: http://www1.pictures.fp.zimbio.com/Talulah+Riley+…
Let’s Be Real: Charlotte Lucas is also so incredibly not plain. http://img.spokeo.com/public/900-600/claudie_blak…
I love Tallulah Riley and Claudie Blakely BOTH.
But this is one thing I will hand to this version of P&P (full disclosure, I prefer the BBC one): they do so much with hair, make-up, and styling. In other versions the actress playing Jane is always very pretty, but not so much prettier than the other girls that she’d be the first one to catch a guy’s eye. In this version, all the actresses are lovely (most downright stunning) but the way they styled them, Jane looks like the Town Beauty. Her makeup creates the illusion of a perfect makeup-less complexion, her hair looks like it just happened to fall into that perfect coif. You see her and you think, “Yes, this is the girl that would be known for her looks in this county. This is the girl all the young men would gaze after longingly.” This version of P&P is the only one that gets that right.
Rosamund Like is like UNHOLY BEAUTIFUL. I think she’s not so much ahuman as a Pre-Raphaelite painting.
Rosamund *Pike,* stupid tiny phone keyboard.
You are dead on with the styling. I sometimes wish they could’ve done similar casting/styling with the BBC mini-series pacing and dialogue.
I never understood why Collins didn’t just propose to Mary in the first place, or at least the second place. I guess he didn’t know the sisters well enough to know that Mary would be the best fit for him, temperamentally, and I guess Mrs. Bennett just wants to marry her daughters off oldest to youngest to maximize husband-finding time and never imagined that Elizabeth would say no, BUT, given that she did, why didn’t Collins ask the next sister?
I got the sense that Collins was picking the women available to him in order of beauty, noticing Jane first and then shifting his attentions to Lizzie when he realized Jane already had a suitor. He thought he was doing the Bennetts a favor, so I can understand him making his next proposal elsewhere when what he saw as generosity was rebuffed.
Yeah, pride seems like a legit reason to move on from the Bennett family. Also appropriate, given the title of the book and all.
Yes, Mr Collins only sees his potential wife in terms of her beauty and what she can do for his home comforts and career. No way would he be open to a woman who might be primarily interested in her own education. A pointless endeavor and waste of time that should be spent for him. She is supposed to admire his pronouncements but not make her own, which would be a trial for Mary. His assumption that women are stupid is why he is so easily managed. Charlotte saw that immediately. Plus, he would not be a wife beater, so she would be physically safe. Finally, it’s not clear that Mary could run a household or even want to learn how.
I feel that was totally the (Mrs. Bennett’s) plan, but Charlotte skipped on in and nabbed him first. I 100% get why she chose a loveless marriage for security, but I still feel that was kind of messed up on her part. Mr. Collins and Mary would have been perfect.
Charlotte was (I think) significantly older than Mary, so maybe she rationalized it that Mary still have some years to find someone and anyway she (Charlotte) would never be so mean as to kick out the Bennett upon Mr. Bennett’s death, so it would all work out.
Oh, I totally get why Charlotte married Collins. If I recall my high school essay correctly, she was 26, and had mostly given up on ever getting a proposal. Mary, on the other hand, hadn’t even come out yet socially. I don’t think Charlotte owed it to Mary to turn down Collins’ proposal or anything, and wouldn’t even expect it to occur to her to do so. My confusion was more meta-it seemed like nobody in the book recognized at all that Collins and Mary would have been a good match, but it seemed obvious to me as a reader.
The possibility is addressed:
“With proper civilities the ladies then withdrew; all of them equally surprised to find that he meditated a quick return. Mrs. Bennet wished to understand by it that he thought of paying his addresses to one of her younger girls, and Mary might have been prevailed on to accept him. She rated his abilities much higher than any of the others; there was a solidity in his reflections which often struck her, and though by no means so clever as herself, she thought that if encouraged to read and improve himself by such an example as hers, he might become a very agreeable companion. But on the following morning, every hope of this kind was done away. Miss Lucas called soon after breakfast, and in a private conference with Elizabeth related the event of the day before.”
(I know this book really too well. Librivox audio-book for during the washing-up.)
Thanks, I’d forgotten that part! I like that even Mary thinks of Collins as a fixer-upper.
Oh, she WOULD have kicked them out. The house isn’t big enough for two families. She would have sent Mrs B and any unmarried daughters off to the wealthiest married daughter within six months. Collins would find a way to explain that it was the most Christian thing to do.
Because Mary wasn’t cute and Collins had an ego that demanded he marry someone attractive. Why should he, with all his connections and prospects, settle for someone unattractive?
Yup, that’s always been my assumption.
I picture Collins as that guy on Facebook who sends endless self-aggrandizing messages to ultra pretty women, and then when they don’t or can’t respond within 30 min, or worse, tell him to go away, he goes “FINE bitch, probably a lesbian anyway” and huffily unfriends them.
So like, 300% unsurprised that he huffily leaves the house right away and gets engaged to her best friend like almost the same day, because SPITE, because FRAGILE MASCULINITY
He hurt his butt
That’s why he didn’t propose to Mary
I like Darcy all right, but have always been all about Bingley. He’s a little clueless, but he’s sweet and you know, likes things. I enjoy spending time with happy people who like things.
I like Bingley better now that I’ve seen Lost In Austen and can picture him looking like Tom Mison instead of Crispin Bonham Carter.
Aww, I like Crispin Bonham Carter. He’s like a deliriously happy puppy.
Lost in Austen! The plot was garbage, but Tom Riley as Wickham is fiiiiiiiiiiiiine.
Lost in Austen is one of the stupider things I’ve watched 3+ times but I’m not sorry about it.
Just popping back in to say thanks for mentioning Lost in Austen. I just finished watching it and it’s so goofy and delightful.
I always identified with Elizabeth, because of course I did, but my brother pointed out that my partner and I are very Jane/Bingley, and I realized, yeah. That’s fair. And it’s actually THE BEST.
Mary kinda into Collins is A Thing in the novel Longbourn!
I think I very likely would be “not romantic” with Regency era underwear and dental hygiene.
You mean with Regency era lack of underwear? Cause I’m all for that.
Why can’t there be conversation AND dancing? I love both. And frankly find the terror of dancing by modern men when their grandfathers used to glide across the parquet to be very irritating and full of bullshit.
I frankly do not like to dance, because I do not know what to do with myself and I feel like everyone is watching me. But I feel like, if there were actual STEPS which I actually KNEW and the whole point of the dance was to be looked at… that would be fine.
Also, the other half of the point of those dances WAS to talk. They’re more like slow, organised walking around a room, in pairs. The point is that it’s a time when a man and a woman can be semi-alone to converse, while still having all eyes on them with no chance for funny business.
Yeah, this.
Also, I want to like the bookish sister, but Mary’s version of “bookish” is all preachy and improving, and the Regency equivalent of sitting around reading John C. Wright but with less spanking porn, so fuck that.
I realize I’m late to the party but Contra Dancing! It’s everything you’re describing, today! (mainly because it’s descended from exactly the sort of country dancing written about in the books). Easy to learn too. Don’t be alarmed by its similarity to square dancing. Embrace the geekiness and dudes in kilts.
Donald Sutherland’s performance as the Dad is so great. I think he was on mescaline for most of his scenes. I have no proof or any sources, it just seemed that way.
Head canon = accepted
Now I’m seeing mister B through the lens of Donald Sutherland’s performance as Oddball in Kelly’s Heroes. It’s pretty uncanny, in a way.
Let’s Be Real: Kelly Reilly is perfectly cast as Caroline Bingley. I actually can’t separate her from the role, which made True Detective Season 2 more amusing for me.
Let’s have it for the Ginger Bingleys!
Haha, I will forever remember her from her role in L’Auberge Espagnole!
“LA FUCK?!” hahahaha, I laughed so hard when I saw that! (in fact, I still laugh)
Let’s Be Real: This version is completely untrue to the spirit of Austen, mostly because it abandoned her letters and substituted moody sentiment for wit and characterization (the secondary characters with the exception of Charlotte and Mr. Collins are barely a blip in this movie). I mean, “I love, I love, love you”? That’s the example of laughably horrible dialogue Gene Kelly’s character extemporizes in “Singin’ in the Rain”!
And I fall for that breathless line every time. It is the only redeeming moment of this version for me.
I totally agree! But then I also think the BBC 90’s version is too hearty and lusty, and I like the 80’s version best.
I am team 1980 BBC adaptation as well. Despite the poor audio/video quality and sometimes silly acting, it captured the spirit of the book best.
Yep. I felt that they took out a lot of Lizzie and Darcy’s character growth that happened in the books.
Let’s Be Real: Why was no one interested in Colonel Fitzwilliam? How could there be an unmarried man in the story without getting him married off by the end? I would take Fitzwilliam.
It’s been a while since I read the book, but I think it’s mentioned that he’s a second son and so is on the lookout for a girl with a fortune. I think JA even alludes to him being attracted to Lizzie but that he knows he can’t have her because she has no fortune.
Yep, he “warns” her that second sons can’t afford to marry where they like, and she takes the hint. All with graceful Austenian banter, but it’s clear that if he could, he would be all over Lizzy Bennet.
I always thought he was such a good sport, talking to her in the conspiratorial tone of a wingman. Lizzie was the Austen girl who came closest to having dude-friends, I thought, and I thought she was really cool as a result.
(despite growing up and realizing guys felt like they could hang out with her because, since she had no fortune, their intentions couldn’t be misconstrued. OLD-SCHOOL FRIEND-ZONE LIZZIE.)
Well, I’d say Anne Elliot is pretty good friends with Charles Musgrove and Admiral Croft, and I bet she becomes pretty good friends with Captains Harville and Benwick after her marriage (she was on her way there already).
As noted above, I am firmly on Team Colonel Fitzwilliam.
I am so hearts-for-eyes about austen ladies with dude friends. Idk why. I think…. I think it’s the ‘hey look, dudes seem ok with having intellectual conversations with these ladies, and treating them as humans who they might gain insight from!’ Which is kind of depressing in context but you know, I’ll take it.
I should note, that’s also the beginning of Lizzie’s relationship with Whickham – him confiding in her and treating her like ‘The Chill Girl’. Like, it’s totally fine that I’m flirting with your sisters, because you and I, like, Totally Have A Connection.
BUT WHAT IF HE HAD A GOOD HEART
I’M CERTAIN HE DOES.
IT WOULDN’T MATTER IF YOU HAD NO MONEY!
Sorry. That was unnecessarily aggressive.
Literally came down to say the very same thing. Col Fitzwilliam seems like a decent, upstanding guy.
By the way, a real good stumper of a trivia question to drop on people is “What is Mr. Darcy’s first name?” YOU GUYS IT IS FITZWILLIAM. So obviously he was super relieved that dudes went mostly by last names in the Regency era.
I don’t know why, but I always kind of assumed he’d end up with Georgiana Darcy (she has a fortune, right?) in a Colonel Brandon/Marianne-aged pairing.
*spoiler alert* “Death Comes To Pemberley” flirted with this idea, but she ended up with the guy from Grantchester.
TEAM FITZWILLIAM FOREVER. Played “Marrying Mr. Darcy” (super fun game, and I was really skeptical at first) and despite playing as Jane, I was hell-bent on marrying Fitzwilliam.
That game is the best! I played as Mary and married Darcy. Now there’s a match made either in heaven or in hell, depending on your point of view.
Nope we discussed this; we’d definitely bang him too.
I don’t know if it was Keira Knightley’s best performance so far, but this movie made me fall in love with her.
Have you seen The Duchess? I can only watch it once every couple of years owing to the feels.
Just here to say that Keira Knightley’s absolute best performance of all time was in Bend it LIke Beckham, and I WILL BROOK NO ARGUMENTS ON THIS ACCOUNT. Thank you.
You are very correct.
Let’s Be Real: Darcy is humorless. What do you even talk about with Darcy? I feel like we’d get super bored with him. Absolutely. And how much patience would he have with Elizabeth’s snide observations anyway?
I confess, the 2005 version is much too “Pride and Prejudice as told by Charlotte Brontë” for my taste, what with the dramatic landscapes and the rain-soaked proposal and the chickens underfoot. Colin Firth aside, I really loved the 1980 version. Elizabeth Garvie was the master of the arch smile, and David Rintoul entirely sold me on “arrogant introvert.”
1980 version, you say? Sounds like I’ve got a new version for my to-watch list!
Look, I love this version, and this book. I read some review where they called it a Bronte version of Austen, but I loved it. I loved the relationships Charlotte, Lizzie, and Jane. ALSO!! Duh, Mary LOVED Collins!! BUT I JUST SAW the 2011 Jane Eyre movie with Mia Wasikowska and I loved it so hard and I keeping yelling “stay away from Jane you old, married perv” at Rochester. Except Sinjin wasn’t hot enough and not creepy enough.
Michael Fassbender was too hot to be Rochester and Jamie Bell wasn’t hot enough to be St. John, according to the tiny Jane Eyre purist voice in my head. The rest of me loves this movie too much to really care.
What! Grown Up Billy Elliot is definitely hot enough!
And also quite creepy in my estimation. When he was basically telling her they would be married instead of asking her? Nope. Thank you for your time, sir!
I actually prefer an ugly Sinjin. The one in the 2004 JE (Ruth Wilson + Tobey Stephens 5EVA) was actually too hale and hearty for my taste. Jamie Bell is ugly and sallow and I can totally picture him going off to whatever continent Sinjin went off missionaryin’ to, and dying of disease within a short time.
I’m one of five sisters, and it’s been brought to my attention that we actually line up pretty well with the Bennet sisters: we have a Jane (me), an Elizabeth, a Mary and two Lydias. And I didn’t realize until I was discussing it with one sister, the Lizzy-analogue, that Mr. B. actually *sucks* as a father. Like, you don’t get credit for being invested into one of your daughters, and writing off the other four. It’s great (maybe) if you’re Lizzy but not so much for everyone else.
(I might be projecting.)
Yeah, after the first read/watch through I started to realize that both the Bennet parents are pretty flawed. Mrs.Bennet is manipulative and uncouth (but with some historical context I understand why). And Mr.Bennet has withdrawn from the family and doesn’t really father anyone (he has conversations with Lizzie but they seem almost like peers). He could have prevented Lydia’s entire plot, but he wanted to avoid being whined at more than he wanted to keep her safe. Pretty selfish and lazy!
Jeez, watch some other Tom Hollander stuff! Try In The Loop.
He’s so great in that. Every line delivery is magnificent.
“He might be dead. He might have had that massive stroke we’ve all been waiting for.”
“Oh, great. Meeting my constituents. It’s like being Simon Cowell, only without the ability to say, ‘F**k off, you’re mental'”.
“No, sorry. No hookers. It was just a joke. I hate hookers. Not in an aggressive way, but, no, thank you.”
I was legit disappointed that Peter Capaldi’s incarnation of the Doctor has absolutely nothing to do with Malcolm Tucker.
In my head Peter Capaldi is Malcolm Tucker forever.
“conversation is better than balls”
I am 12, and snickered.
I pretty much enjoy this version other than the fact that they talk SO DAMN FAST. It’s like they committed to doing a two-hour movie but didn’t want to actually cut anything out, so they went with “keep all the lines and make the actors speed through them.” In some scenes they are nigh incomprehensible.
I have such a love and hate relationship with this movie (because I love it every time I see it, but not fond of the director’s interpretation of the book at all). But let’s be real: I would have married Darcy at his first proposal. Pemberley’s a big mansion. I’m sure we can coexist together.
Let’s Be Real: Mr. Bennett is kind of a shit dad.
Let’s Be Real: All of Keira Knightley’s wigs in this movie are TEEEERRRIBLE and you can actually see the fringe of her pixie cut sticking out the bottom of the be-bunned ‘everyday’ wig (the one she’s wearing in the top photo).
I still love the shit out of this movie though.
“we’re dark-clad Mary, who thinks conversation is better than balls” Someone probably pointed that out already, but that was only in the movie. This pearl was originally said by miss Bingley. I know we’re talking about watching the movie, here, but really, starting the article with something that was not in the book… XD
Also, well… please don’t say yes to Collins XD
“Real life is about hunger and compromise, and we are clear-eyed realists who do what needs to be done.” Ok now I’m crying. You’re bad bad bad people.
Oh wait… THOSE kind of *balls.* Got it.
I get the Darcy hate but…i am like Mr. Darcy.Oh, well , except the not being rich and extremly beautiful part , yeah the introvert mostly. Coupled with the fact i am a bisexual girl i always read the book and pictured myself as Darcy, a weird introvert who has a shot at a beautiful, smart, talkative girl like Lizzie. so i get defensive of his character
Who WOULD win a fight between a goat and a swan, though? Because goats are badass but swans are pretty aggressive.
I think I can speak to this, to an extent. I owned pygmy goats growing up, and had leases for them. I was gonna say “trained to walk on a leash” but honestly, you don’t have to. They’ll just follow you around constantly anyway. The leashes were for when we walked them around the neighborhood and dogs would bark at them and scare them.
My point is, there were also swans, loose, in the neighborhood. And turkeys (also mean). The turkeys would barge into our yard with their covey of hens like some biker gang (but with slightly more feathers) and bully our dogs, and only letting out the goats would get them to go away. For reference, we owned the types of dogs that are supposed to be herding dogs, but were garbage at it. The goats would charge willy-nilly at the turkeys and they’d hop-fly away in panic, screaming obscenities at us (probably).
The swans…we hardly ever walked the goats down the street as far as the swans, and my memory is fuzzy here, but I believe the one occasion we may have, they charged at the swans and the swans charged at them. The fight was hindered by the fact that they were on leashes, and also that my sister and I were hissing at the swans to scare them. So…I’m not sure what the outcome would be either, but I’d give both sides pretty even odds, tbh. Course, these were only pygmy goats. I don’t know how they’d compare to other goat species, though I can say they are stout and brave.
Very stout, actually. Imagine a goat, but the goat has swallowed a tire, and it’s only got 8″ legs.
Guise, the movie/story isn’t hostile to female introverts (e.g. Jane? Georgiana?), nor male extroverts (Bingley?). Come on.
19th century women didn’t inherit property but they were afforded a dowry. This is the “inheritance”
Nah man, best moment in this movie is Lizzie’s snort-giggle when she sees Darcy’s house after she rejected his marriage proposal. Like, shit man! I turned this down! Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat.
Love it, every time.