1. “Actually…”

 

2. “Perhaps the unfortunate accident I had as a child…”

 

 

3. Like a lil acorn.

 

 

4. More of a breaking-and-entering vibe here.

 

 

5. “What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh?”

 

 

6. This is a literal Nazi helmet.

 

 

7. The kind of hat you would wear to a winter funeral, were you a man.

 

 

8. A pre-Vatican Council II satanic nun.