Jess Zimmerman on the Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster:
Like any other raving fan of the Hitchhiker’s universe, I have strong opinions about the Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster. It should be pale gold, and positively bristle with umbrellas and curly straws. It should be spicy and astringent in flavor, yet highly drinkable and with surprising depth. But it’s fictional; both Adams and radio show producer Geoffrey Perkins explained to thirsty fans that it’s impossible to mix one under Earth’s atmospheric conditions. I have never really wanted to make one.
On this last point, I seem to be alone.
Jess buries the lede, btw, in that there is a Doctor Who-themed bar in NYC called The Way Station and I want to go to there.
Here is a Kickstarter for a woodsy literary retreat for women! (Anyone who identifies as a woman, I CHECKED.)
Do you have advice needs? Email us at [email protected] and ask for Ms Proprietypants!
This is a Ronbledore trailer:
Biden is not running and I feel so relieved for him!
Mr. Biden’s decision, announced in the White House Rose Garden with President Obama looking on, ends one of the most public episodes of indecision about a political path since Gov. Mario Cuomo of New York left a plane bound for New Hampshire idling on a tarmac in 1991 as he fretted over whether to run for president.
It also closes the door on one of the biggest potential challenges to Hillary Rodham Clinton’s second attempt at capturing the Democratic nomination.
Why we need more diversity in the writers’ room:
Gray was the only person of color in the writers’ room; the rest of the staff, seven men and one woman, were white. One day, around the time of George Zimmerman’s trial for killing Trayvon Martin, the writers were batting around ideas when a male colleague made a racially motivated joke. (Gray asked me not to retell the joke in question.) Her colleagues laughed. Gray’s vocal reaction was swift, instinctual: “Oh, hell no!”
On the Unclaimed Baggage Center:
Out-of-town visitors come for the big finds in the main building, though. To wit, Unclaimed Baggage Center is one of the most popular tourist destinations in Alabama. Folks plan special trips, as well as venture off I-565 en route to farther destinations, to ogle loot like the men’s platinum Rolex that retailed for $64,000, and sold last year — just two weeks after its arrival on the sales floor — for $32,000.
“Someone was probably pretty sad that he lost that,” says Kayla Wilborn during Tuesday’sBaggage Experience, the six-day-a-week presentation that gives customers a taste of “what it’s like to open an unprocessed bag at Unclaimed Baggage.” The genuine Rolex was originally thought to be fake before it was appraised, and it’s something of a pride point for the Unclaimed Baggage team. I myself am overcome with the flush of awe that gets most visitors at UBC: can you believe they found that? Can you believe someone lost that?
My friend Carrie’s new puppy hates her leash (I think I might have used this one already, but I like her spunk):
A Cruel Intentions TV show! I mean, I thought that’s what Gossip Girl was, but I’m open to new things!
Friend of The Toast Bijan Stephen on how social media drives #BlackLivesMatter:
Any large social movement is shaped by the technology available to it and tailors its goals, tactics, and rhetoric to the media of its time. On the afternoon of Sunday, March 7, 1965, when voting-rights marchers in Selma, Alabama, were run down by policemen at the Edmund Pettus Bridge, the WATS lines were in heavy use. (“Here come the white hoodlums,” an activist said from a corner pay phone at 3:25 pm.) But the technology that was most important to the movement’s larger aims was not in activists’ hands at all: It was in a set of film canisters being ferried past police blockades on Highway 80 by an ABC News TV crew, racing for the Montgomery airport and heading to New York for an evening broadcast. That night, 48 million Americans would watch the scene in their living rooms, and a few days later Martin Luther King Jr. would lay bare the movement’s core media strategy. “We will no longer let them use their clubs on us in the dark corners,” he said. “We’re going to make them do it in the glaring light of television.”
Press Corps: Joe Biden is going hoooome Biden: One last time Press Corps: Joe Biden is going HOOOOOOME
— Hayes Brown (@HayesBrown) October 21, 2015
I have had something calling itself a Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster. My boyfriend and I agreed to split it, as it was very large; it arrived at our table on fire, and we spent several minutes blowing at it ineffectually, just causing the flame to lean over and get alarmingly close to whichever of us was sitting opposite the one blowing. We are not very good at drinking.
The Unclaimd Baggage Center sounds amazing.
That is too funny.
I had a lovely drink while on a theatre date with a lovely woman a couple of years ago. It was bourbon and rosemary and slightly fizzy and not sweet. I’m not much of a drinker, but loved it. (and loved the PGGB article too!)
Did it taste like having your brains smashed in by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick?
Unfortunately(?), it did not.
I live down the street from The Way Station! I have been inside a few times, but I have yet to get a drink there. Their bathroom looks like the TARDIS.
AND it is signed by Matt Smith and Karen Gillian. Also, the staff is full of extremely lovely people.
In London, there are only two police boxes left. The one by Earl’s Court is considered the “real” TARDIS, and the city maintains it (last time I went there, it was being repainted). There’s an Easter Egg in Google Maps that takes you inside the box, and of course…it’s bigger on the inside.
I don’t think it’s usable as a police box anymore, though.
My four-year old niece saw an old phone booth while on vacation in California and was very insistent that it was the TARDIS. I guess that made more sense to her than a payphone.
I used to live around the corner! It’s great!
I love the Way Station! Haven’t been in over a year now, but at one point they had a drink on their menu called the Shirley Temple of Doom.
I LOVE the Way Station and its TARDIS bathroom. I’ve watched more than a few Doctor Who episodes there. Now that I live over an hour’s subway ride away, I’m less likely to spontaneously go there for a drink, but I still make the effort to get out there for the occasional Sunday afternoon screening.
FIELD TRIP to The Way Station! I would enjoy the hell out of that.
My mother has just now begun watching Doctor Who. Like she is straight up zipping through it. Within a week she was through the Ninth and a season and a half into the Tenth Doctor I think. Now I get to live with her constantly asking me why I don’t like it.
I don’t know, Mom. I just don’t.
I’ve never watched it because everything I’ve ever heard about it makes me think I would probably hate it. Sorry, internet.
Yeah, there are enough shows I am pretty sure I would enjoy that I haven’t gotten around to yet that I see no need to bother with this one that I would certainly hate.
I really tried with Doctor Who and I just couldn’t do it. Solidarity!
I enjoyed it, for a while. Because I had someone who has watched big chunks of it who showed me particularly good episodes. And showed them to me in no particular order, so that the big gaps of episodes we were NOT watching under any circumstances would be less obvious. and then we were somewhat caught up, and were watching the tail end of Ten and the beginning of Eleven as they were airing, and I stopped enjoying it quite as much, because I was seeing *everything*, rather than just the good bits.
My kinfolk! I have never bothered to try. I know I wouldn’t enjoy it. I have such a list of pop culture things I am an old grump about.
Both my parents and my boyfriend are into it. I have a strict “I’ll be in the other room” policy for this and most other things they watch on TV. I figure I’m doing them a favor anyway, because they don’t want me sitting next to them like “am I supposed to know who that character is? Are they in space right now? So if they can travel through time, how come they don’t just…” while they’re trying to pay attention to multi-episode dramatic story arcs.
I’m with you! I really enjoyed Christopher Eccleston and David Tennant as the Doctor, but after their seasons were over I quickly lost interest. I think it’s the fact that all the episodes are basically the same (a thing! doctor/companion is in trouble! we discovered a secret! let’s beat the thing!) and I hated how it got all hip/sexy/”nerdy is cool”.
I’ve watched most of it, and it’s okay, but I don’t really get how you get into it, you know? Like, everything’s usually solved by some sort of deux ex machina and I find it very difficult to be emotionally involved in whatever’s going on.
I am not sure if this will win you an argument, but for me, it is the the horrible production quality that makes me deeply uncomfortable.
Oh my god, if you think the new Doctor Who (that started in the 00’s) has bad production values….I have watched rather a lot of the old stuff from the 60’s through the 80’s. Their budgets were tiny and effects were expensive.
There’s a story from the mid-70’s where the villain is literally bubble wrap that’s been painted green. In the behind-the-scenes thing, they point out that bubble wrap was a new invention and most people hadn’t seen it yet!
I adore Classic Who’s set/costume/prop design. They did the best they could! (And it still looks better than CGI a lot of the time.)
Could it be because the message is ‘genius white dude with DEEP FEELINGS gets to decide how the world should be and is the moral arbiter of who is ‘good’ and who is not’ and also a series of pretty young things fall deeply in love with him but he is too DEEP and SUPERIOR to understand their silly female hormones except when they deign to be interested in somebody else or he meets a one-off random he needs to flirt with and then angst over’.
…it’s possibly that I have become a lot more critica of my media since I first watched those early seasons (Tenth’s in particular). Thank god I’m almost back to Donna.
I was about to say, “BUT WHAT ABOUT DONNA”, but you got there before me. Donna is wonderful. (But, yes, the Doctor as arbiter of what is right and what is wrong, who gets to control what humans do because he is the all-knowing TIme Lord, pisses me off. I just rewatched the end of S3 and shouted a lot when the Doctor cheerfully disabled Jack’s Vortex Manipulator – he’s an ex-Time Agent! You have no say in whether or not he gets a Vortext Manipulator!
This is far less true of the old stuff. It has its own problems, don’t get me wrong, but “the Doctor is the final arbiter of good and evil” happened a lot less and “all his companions are in love with him” just didn’t happen.
There is a Doctor Who-themed restaurant in Beacon, NY called “The Pandorica”. During operating hours, they put out a sidewalk sign that says “The Pandorica is Open.” That is all.
I have now watched the Ronbledore trailer 3 times and it brought me more joy with each viewing.
I thought it would be just funny, but it climbed into my heart and started building a home and now I want a Ronbledore supercut of the movies.
Conversation last night, Chez Tables:
Me: (something something) Ronbledore (something something)
Him: What’s Ronbledore?
Me: You’re in luck, I was just about to watch a Ronbledore Trailer.
(play trailer)
Him: Oh, the thing where Ron and Dumbledore are the same person. (said in a manner of “oh, that is such a discredited theory why are we still talking about it”).
Him: I need to google something.
Me: (convinced he was about to google for all of the reasons the theory has been discredited) I need to COUNTER google something!
Him: Huh. The top three results are all from The Toast. How surprising. (… he was not surprised.)
Me: Ah. Then I do not need to counter-google after all.
Whenever there is Ronbledore content I forget for a split second that it is a delightful and 100% accurate theory and think that it is a ship.
there is some really weird shit that goes down in the dark corners of HP fandom shipping
so i wouldn’t be surprised if it’s both
Finally listened to Hamilton! And then woke up at 2am to have vague and half-asleep but very pressing Hamilton Thoughts!
It’s queued up again after Ryan Adams’s 1989, which is also fantastic so far. “All You Had To Do Was Stay” sounds so Ryan Adamsy already. (OMG RYAN you are the only one who could make Shake It Off a sad slow song!)
Hamilton thoughts intrude in the strangest ways. I dreamt last night that I was going through customs and decided that I had to sing the entirety of “You’ll Be Back” as loud as possible to the customs agent while my husband tried desperately to drag me away.
Ronbledore!
I probably shouldn’t have read this article: http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/10…
while this show was going on: https://artery.wbur.org/2015/10/16/song-convalesc…
because now I have a rather Miss Hillyard-ish voice in my head going, “Men’s pain is sacred (well, white men’s, anyway.) Theirs is important. Theirs deserves funding and publicity and a venue and you should all buy tickets to pay attention to their pain. Theirs is special and you wouldn’t understand and they can’t just go to Urgent Care or take their medicine when they’re supposed to because their pain is not like other people’s.”
I mean, migraines are effing debilitating, I know from personal experience. But arts funding is so cutthroat anyway, and we’re all squabbling over the attention of a dwindling audience, and for everything like this that does get staged under the aegis of an Important Theater Company something by a woman or a person of color *doesn’t*.
Am I being unreasonable?
In a writing workshop yonks ago, I wrote a story about a woman with fibromyalgia who felt increasingly distant from her on-paper supportive perfect boyfriends, and all the feedback was gee, she’s so UNLIKABLE and he’s doing his best and UGH, she’s a jerk for being angry at him and so on. Meanwhile, other stories had featured a convicted-of-domestic-violence protoganist who fucked store mannequins, your textbook conflicted pedophile skullking around the village, and an amoral politician blackmailing people and sexually harrassing his subordinates. But it was MY female protagonist who rolled her eyes and sulked when her boyfriend wanted to take her to Lourdes for Spiritual Healing who was the unlikable one.
Why yes, clearly I am still bitter.
“Must…travel…back..in time…and…throttle…self-gratificatory…arts bros…”
I listened to an episode of the Reply All podcast (https://gimletmedia.com/episode/42-blindspot/) that touched on this. A woman was suffering from a long list of symptoms – migraines, vertigo, twitching and nerve pain and doctors were like “you’re a lady so, idk, anxiety?” And, surprise, they were wrong.
They interviewed Dr Lisa Sanders, who writes the Diagnosis column in the NY Times, and she correctly guessed that the doctors offering up the anxiety diagnosis were men AND she offered a suggestion that wasn’t “you have too many feelings” (she was also the inspiration for House. It wasn’t lupus)
Oh man, now I started reading that first article.
My sister lost an ovary from ovarian torsion her freshman year. She went to urgent care more than once in severe abdominal pain and was dismissed and told to take ibuprofen. After it got really bad, she finally drove herself home from college, pulling over along the way to vomit from the pain multiple times, to see our childhood doctor (who is amazing). The doctor saw her for less than 10 minutes and sent her to the hospital for surgery. She was appalled that my sister went so long before anyone treated her or took her seriously.
How awful. This is one of the things one would hope would change as more women become doctors (or do women become doctors to whom male doctors don’t listen?)
That piece by Bijan Stephen was excellent. My only complaint was that it wasn’t twice as long. I would absolutely read a book by him on Black Lives Matter and technology.
Also too I’m glad Biden isn’t running because of how bad he is on bankruptcy issues and mass incarceration. Both issues people have with Hillary, but Biden is significantly worse. Maybe now he can do something useful like reform Delaware’s corporate laws. http://gawker.com/some-things-joe-biden-could-do-…
Re: the request for advice questions — I actually sent in an advice letter over the summer, when there was first a note that The Toast was in need of them, and I was kind of disappointed that it never got answered. Is there a chance that it got lost somewhere, or are there particular guidelines for making an advice question more publishable (mine maaayyy have been a bit long…)?
Also, that Slate piece about diversity in writers’ rooms talks a bit about Jane the Virgin and I’m just going to take this moment to share that I finally watched all of it in the last couple of weeks since it dropped on Netflix, and it is adorable and perfect and I am so excited to finish catching up today by watching the second episode of season 2 on Hulu! So if anybody would like to talk about JtV, I am here for that. #RogelioMyBrogelio #blessed
I’m binge-watching JtV right now! I’m on Chapter 14 and it’s so good and addictive. Love Rogelio — and Team Jane forever, I love her so much — but how can anyone be a supporter of Designated Nice Guy Michael?
Nooooo, I love Michael! I mean, I definitely think he fucks up at the beginning of the season, and Jane was right to call him out on his shit, and the time apart has done them both good. But I’ve seen him referred to as a Nice Guy a few places, and I don’t really agree. When I think Nice Guy, I think someone who is “friends” with someone while secretly also waiting for them to date/sleep with them, and/or feeling like eventually they’ll be owed that because they’re ~so nice~. But with Michael, he’s up front always that he is still in love with Jane and wants to get back together with her. He’s willing to settle for less, but he’s not shady or dishonest about his feelings. And I feel like it makes sense that that’s where he is, because he and Jane were engaged, and then all of a sudden their whole world gets turned upside down, and their split is part of that shake up, and I don’t think it’s entirely unreasonable for him to want to wait, at least for a little while, and see if things don’t change again, as everything settles down. And when he steps in to keep Alba from being deported, he specifically doesn’t want it to affect Jane’s feelings about him, rather than trying to use it to show her how great he is. Plus, I really appreciate the way he seems to pay such close attention to and remember the little things that make Jane happy or that she cares about.
That said, I don’t love that he immediately started sleeping with Nadine, while still professing his love for Jane. Not that he’s not “allowed” to, I mean, he’s officially single, but I’m not into it. And I wouldn’t be mad if she ended up with Rafael. Mostly, I’m impressed with the way this show has actually done a pretty well-balanced love triangle, instead of having one perfect guy and one asshole.
^ this.gif (Imagine a good one because I’m at work.)
Haha, my bestie also swears Michael isn’t that bad. I think it’s a combination of a) he was really a dick about raising “another man’s baby” b) lying to Jane and seeming like, he put in two years, he deserved Jane, c) my being totally swept away by the telenovela flourishes around Rafael. I’m really Team Jane, though, and I do like that the triangle is balanced: I just can’t forgive Michael.
I can resepct that! I think for me, it’s partly that Michael & Jane’s relationship reminds me a bit of my relationship with my husband (who is also named Micheal, haha) — they just have that chemistry where you can tell they’re best friends, and the rest is gravy (when they’re actually a couple, I mean). But the “I can’t raise another man’s baby” business does NOT remind me of my own Michael, and you’re right, that was pretty sucky of him.
I did see a comment somewhere else that made me rethink my #TeamMichael-ness, a little bit. They talked about how even if his bad actions in the early season were just him acting out because of this situation he had been thrust in, it was ultimately blowing back on Jane, and he was making things more stressful for this woman he’s supposed to love, who was already going through the wringer. She was the primary victim (if we want to use that word here) of the whole event, while he was more of a secondary victim; he was violating the comfort in, dump out rule, and it was a bad move all around. But for me, I really do think that losing Jane made him wake up and learn his lesson on that front, and it’s not that he ~deserves~ her back as a ~reward~ for his growth on that front, but I do think that he’s a better fit with Jane in the long run.
But anyway, yes, I’m fully #TeamJane at the end of the day, and hallelujah for this show that does so many things right! Alternately: Have you seen any of the flashbacks to teenage Xo yet? And if so, how perfectly cast is that actress? Her voice and line delivery sounds JUST like grown-up Xo, like to an almost weird degree.
Oh, if your husband reminds you of Michael, then it’s a whole other story. Abe remains my favorite of Peggy’s boyfriends on Mad Men because tall, snarky, and Jewish is my husband. But yeah, you hit on good reasons not to like that Michael, too. And Jane’s best friend is obviously Xo, not Michael or Lina!
Haven’t seen teenaged Xo yet, but sooo looking forward to her!
Yessssss Jane the Virgin! I also finally watched it all last week when I had the deathcold and I love it and immediately made my mom watch it, and now she too loves it. Rogelio is my favorite! Also Jane! And Xiomara! And Abuela! And Luisa! Even Petra! Basically, I love all the women in this show, and Rogelio. Meh on Rafael and Michael.
“He can’t even do a good ‘I love you, but I cannot have you’ face!”
Yes! The women are fabulous. I do wish, though, that we got more Luisa (mostly, I love Yara Martinez), and I especially wish that the two major lesbian characters in season 1 weren’t [SPOILERS]
…
(a) a murderer and (b) stuck in a psych ward for half the season, because seriously?
And married to a man to further her nefarious scheme but still a lesbian, because SERIOUSLY, that shit belongs in the Celluloid Closet. It’s 2015! Bisexuals exist!
K but Luisa’s plan to escape the psych ward was one of my favorite scenes last season. “Brad, he’s so basic…that nurse, she’s so tragic.” Luisa is my favorite.
I just started watching it and it’s so good!
I am so glad I’m not alone in feeling relief that Joe isn’t running. That was the second best piece of news I got, yesterday.
Right! He should be thanked for his long years of service and go on to be a bad-ass Elder Statesman who can focus on the issues close to his heart without having to worry about a political agenda. Also he should spend more time with Jill.
He deserves to sit under his own vine and fig tree and have a moment alone in the shade!
Same! And the thing is, I think he’d be a great president, he has so much compassion and focus on the right issues, and he knows how to deal with Congress and Republicans… But I do not want him to go through the presidential campaign process, it would do awful things to him that he does not deserve. That’s the insane thing about American politics these days — the qualifications to be a great president do not match up with the qualifications to survive the campaign.
The worst part of his announcement was the “too late” bit. It’s over a year away and “too late” is already a valid reason not to run? Our election cycles are the woooorrrrrst.
I didn’t quite take that at face value — I mean, I don’t think it was the actual reason, you know? It was just convenient. Surely. Because it really is over a year away still, and that can’t have actually stopped him. He just made the best decision for himself and his family.
Oh, yeah for sure, but it’s totally plausible as a real reason and that made me sad/annoyed.
“One horrifying recipe includes vodka, gin, Clamato, sake, creme de menthe, lemon zest, a jalapeño and the obligatory olive.”
Clamato and creme de menthe.
CLAMATO AND CREME DE MENTHE.
Did anybody ever knowingly order that?
If so, does this mean you can inflict any horror on people–at their request–if you give it the right name?
Should I become a bartender?
At a big party a few years ago, my friends and I were serving free booze from our on-fire bar. Everyone got drunk, all the booze disappeared, nothing out of the ordinary there. We tried telling the drunks that we were fresh out of booze, but they just got mad. Surely we had booze and were just holding out on them!! One guy in particular became increasingly belligerent and threatening… He wouldn’t let it go and wouldn’t leave. So one of our bartenders (who was also a jerk, let’s be real,) poured all the remnants of our booze into some dirty dish water and served it up in a shot glass. He called it “galaxy” and got the entire crowd to start chanting the name. He handed it to the angry guy and he immediately downed it. Everyone cheered.
My whole face just collapsed in on itself, that’s how hard I puckered.
I went to The Way Station two trips to NYC ago! My BFF lives in Brooklyn, so we put it on the list of places to go. They show old episodes of Doctor Who on the weekends (and new ones when they’re airing) so we went and watched some Fourth Doctor episodes and I had a Rose Tyler drink and I randomly ran into a guy I knew from college.
Also, their bathroom is an actual TARDIS and they have signed stuff from the Doctor Who cast hanging in it.
their bathroom is an actual TARDIS
– I don’t have anything to say, this just made me giggle
You have to admit, it would solve almost all of the problems that plague public restrooms.
Fun Fact for Michigan and Michigan-adjacent or Michigan-good-friended Toasts: Short’s Brewing Company makes a beer called Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, and it is reHEEEEALLy delicious and completely negates one’s ability to drive.
Toasties, hijacking the link roundup because I need to share The Creepiest Dude:
I was in the line at the deli counter with my 3 month old when an old man, like late 70s/early 80s, started complimenting me on her. This happens, so we exchanged pleasantries about her, yes she’s quiet and good. Then he said, “oh, you should feed her.” I paused, confused, and said, “oh, she’s not hungry right now, I’ll feed her at home — she’s not on solids yet.” Because, you know, not going to whip out my breast to feed a not-hungry baby, but…maybe he doesn’t get it, it’s been a while since he had kids?
BUT THEN. He seemed disappointed and said, “beautiful girl, have her call me in 20 years.” WHAT. WHAT. HOW IS THAT A THING YOU SAY. And I’m so upset with myself that my brain didn’t catch up with my mouth fast enough to say, “sure, she’ll look up your gravestone,” or even a “whaaaat?”, but instead uttered some kind of non-committal “that’s up to her.”
Also, dude tried to cut in on my deli order, but the deli counter employee wouldn’t let him, so he’s my hero today. My only consolation is that everyone has been horrified by him.
Tl;dr my three-month-old got hit on. I hate the patriarchy.
WHAT? Why does this man exist. That is so so so so so gross.
THAT. IS. HORRIFYING. I wish you could set him on fire with your gaze.
whaaaaaaaaaat
NOPE
take that, women who insist they don’t “need feminism”.
we’ve got 20 years to teach him that is not okay and topple the patriarchy.
We’ll bleed and fight for her, we’ll make it right for her.
I have legit been trying to teach her to be my personal hype woman so she can sing Hamilton with me someday. Also, won’t listen to certain songs because NOPE.
^^^^this is correct parenting that I strive to recreate one day
EEEEEWWWWWWWWW
ew ew ew
UGH UGH UGH. ugh.
WHAT the actual fucking fuck.
Oh my god. BAN MEN BAN MEN BAN ALL THE MEN
That’s horrifying.
People like that guy are why TV Tropes needs a “Real life” section on their Moral Event Horizon page. Next time a guy does that, you should take their number and send it to Chris Hansen 😛
oh oh oh ewwww
that is the most disgusting thing i have heard all week and i’m so sorry you had to deal with it ever. (I kind of want to take a sympathy shower)
(YOU DON’T HIT ON THREE MONTH OLD BABIES, YOU DISGUSTING OLD FART!)
OH MY GAAAAAARD WHAT
This is a typical old-fart sexist joke. The Greatest Generation wasn’t so great on this issue.
Also, some people take advantage of being old – they think it’s carte blanche to be as rude as can be.
I was watching M*A*S*H the other night, which i otherwise adore, and the 35-year-old male lead characters were implying that a 16-year-old babysitter was “better” than an 18-year-old sitter. There was no mistaking the meaning. I grew up with that stuff and it didn’t even occur to me how sick it was. It would have been funny to a lot of guys of the WWII era, though, and that was the show’s target demographic.
Sorry that you had to hear it. I’m glad to see that younger women know how gross it is.
It might be nice/It might be nice/To have Biden on your side – What the Democratic candidates must be thinking! (I know Biden’s name doesn’t have the right amount of syllables, but please forgive me)
Throw in his first name — “Joe Biden” works, right?
What an easy fix! Thanks!
I assume this is some kind of Hamilton reference.
hahaha finally listening to Hamilton has been like getting a secret decoder ring for this comment section. THEY’RE EVERYWHERE
So, we have:
Washington – Obama
Hamilton – Biden
Jefferson – Hillary Clinton
Adams – John Boehner
Madison – Bill Clinton
Burr – The bounty hunter who’s been after Joe Biden since 1977
I’ve been trying to work out whether Hillary is a Burr or a Jefferson all week. In 2008 she was definitely the Burr, but now I dunno!
I still think she’s a “talk less, smile more” candidate…not because she has no beliefs, she does, she’s just really reluctant to give the media/Republicans any target.
Every proclamation guarantees free ammunition for your enemies.
BINGO.
Picturing Bill trailing Hillary around, all “…France”, and “why she even brings the thunder” is going to have me 😀 😀 😀 all day, so thanks for that!
#bidenshotfirst
I dunno about that Unclaimed Baggage Center; I mean, the article tries very hard to put a positive spin on it, but a more accurate name for the place would probably be The Airline Done Fucked Up With Getting Your Baggage To You, So We’re Selling It To Strangers Center. (If a bit long.)
CATCHY, though. And accurate.
Yup. It’s not like people are just wandering off airplanes forgetting they brought a suitcase along with them…
THE WAY STATIONNNN! Once on my birthday I drank too many Sonic Screwdrivers there and ended up puking into a subway platform trash can, so maybe don’t do that? They also make a deliciously spicy Dark n’ Stormy called, of course, the Stormageddon.
The Stormageddon is the best thing about that bar. (I used to live nearby and went a few times and there was always live music that was too loud and I’m not actually a Doctor Who fan so the only interesting thing was the drink menu.)
The live music or other events every single night got me too, when I lived down the street, I tried to take people there but it was always too loud!
In light of the Mallory and Nicole’s agreement that Crimson Peak is the best movie ever made, I must seek advice. I am 100% incapable of watching horror films, especially paranormal ones where spooky things lurk in the background and then jump out at the protagonists while ominous music plays. Thus, knowing that Crimson Peak is classified as “horror,” I didn’t watch it this weekend when I had the chance. Was that a mistake? How “horror”-esque is it? (I liked Pan’s Labyrinth, but closed my eyes through almost the entire eyeless monster scene)
Heey we’re kindred spirits. I can’t watch any horror, no matter how stupid – like, you know that Jessica Alba remake “The Eye”? No, probably not, because it was generally considered to have sucked? Well, I watched that stupid movie – WHICH IS ABOUT HAUNTED CORNEAS – and some of the scenes still come back to me in the middle of the night, years later.
So yeah, I’d be interested in the answer to your question, too.
Yes yes yes, the “no matter how stupid” part does not seem to get through people’s heads when I try to explain it. I watched Troll 2 with friends who assured me it was so campy/flat-out terrible that it would not be scary…and then that night there were weird noises in the room I was staying in, and everything was terrible.
All of the non-horror-movie solidarity in this thread makes me so happy.
It’s not really “horror.” It’s “gothic romance.” There is blood and ookiness. The ghosts are there for warnings/portents, not to do people damage. There are some “things are lurking just off frame” feelings and a certain degree of stabby & bloody going on, but overall not terrifying and not hugely gory. This is not a jump scare kind of movie. This is more a POOFY SLEEVES AND DRAMATICAL DRAMA kind of film.
Thank you! That’s very helpful. I can do blood and portentous ghosts.
I described it as less gory than an episode of Supernatural. So.
As a fellow ‘no really, I can’t do jump scares, no not even in a bad movie’ thank you for asking this question.
There are a FEW jump scares. But they’re well telegraphed. I mean, I jumped (I always jump I’m a jumper I even jumped at a jump scare in SUPER 8 of all movies), but it didn’t set my heart racing because I knew it was coming.
ok, but, the gulf between “no jump scares” and “a FEW jump scares but they’re well-telegraphed” is ENORMOUS and everybody saying “it’s not REALLY scary” is just convincing me more and more that yes, it is too scary. The problem with jump scares is that you’re waiting for them to happen, but you can’t do anything about them! Super 8 is also a scary movie!!
I’m similarly pretty skeptical of non-wimps’ assessment of the difference between “some blood” and “excessive gore”… my personal barometer is, “I was ABLE to watch both Lord of the Rings and V for Vendetta, but they were Too Much and a movie has to be genuinely spectacular for me to go through that.”
Which is a shame, because I love period costumes 🙁 🙁
Thank you! I can do ominous and I can do some blood but I cannot do jump scares or excessive gore. Hooray!
This is my very specific issue too! I won’t usually see horror movies unless someone I trust has vouched for them. I usually cry when I get startled, and it’s very unpleasant.
I do that, too, even when a tiny dog barks at me, and it is so ridiculous but I can’t help it! So a horror movie would be a disaster for me. I’m still freaked out by TV ads for Annabelle from last year.
I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE I mean it’s not every time, but there’s been a good handful of times someone has startled me and I started sobbing hysterically, surprising both me and the person who startled me.
YESSS I can’t do horror/scary movies either! I think I’m a) too empathetic and b) too aware of how terrifying our very existence already is, so I don’t need more to be afraid of!
I watched it, but when the music and goings-on indicated that ghosts were about to appear I did not look at them. I also didn’t watch when Lucille killed what’s his name the dad. That worked for me and I haven’t had any nightmares, so maybe try that if you want?
I feel like that and the end fight b/w Lucille and Tom Hiddles were the worst? Like, I actually jumped during the dad-being-killed scene? But nothing else?
I have no information on this particular movie, but I would just like to say I cover my eyes when there’s a trailer for a movie that seems like it might be scary. I will certainly not be watching it, and I encourage you to join me in this, if you find scary things to be scary. (I watched Nightmare on Elm Street when I was five, and I was scared constantly for at least ten years after that, and that was the end of that (my parents made my older sister include me, having no idea what I was about to be included in).)
After having seen the trailer I do not plan to watch it, although I will may eventually watch it via the internets and just fast forward through the ghost parts.
SAME! If I really want to see a scary movie, I will read the spoilers (in daylight, surrounded by people I trust) before viewing the movie so I will know when to shut my eyes and ears.
Re: the geek bars article, there’s a place in Assembly Square that’s otherwise shockingly normal and yuppie, but two of the drinks on the menu are a Rose Tyler and an Inara Serra. They’re pretty good, too, but it still confuses me a little bit.
I diagnose a geek bartender surrounded by people who don’t watch their favorite shows. 😛
A couple of links:
Corey Jones was a classmate of an old friend of mine. Another senseless loss of life.
The Takeaway used a looooot of music from Hamilton today; the show’s theme was “Who writes history?”
What do we all think of Laverne Cox as Dr Frank-N-Furter?
But Frank N Furter is a Transvestite, which is not the same thing as Transgender. And normally I’d be like yeah ok, we can change the identity of the character I guess, but there’s a pretty epic song about how he’s a Transvestite from Transylvania.
And while Laverne Cox is amazing, she is neither a Transvestite nor a Transylvanian. (She is also most definitely not Tim Curry. I’m not really over 1) there being a remake in the first place and 2) Tim Curry not being in it. Fat middle aged Tim Curry in a corset would be 500000x better than any other actor they could find to play the role.)
Why can’t we all just enjoy the original? IT WAS A CULTURAL MOMENT JUST ENJOY IT, STOP TRYING TO MAKE IT HAPPEN AGAIN.
See, that’s the thing. Its camp level is a huge part of the appeal, the low-budget special effects, all of it, and I just don’t see how they’re going to be able to capture that again. I have reservations. :/ And right now I have even more feelings about the whole thing because we open TOMORROW for the stage show and and and
Its camp and ridiculous and over the top and also gender/body positive and a scathing satire of a certain kind of ‘normal’ people. You can’t set out to create that, it just happens organically.
I imagine what we’ll get is a movie version of that Glee Rocky Horror episode. It was fine, but it was not actual Rocky Horror.
I honestly can’t think of any actor who could play Frank N Furter better than Tim Curry, I’m sure there’s people who’ve done it on stage who are good, but they’re all playing on the character of that Tim Curry made. Tom Hiddleston jumps to mind, but only because I want to see him in fishnets.
My only hope is that they take the spirit of the original and make a movie based on that with their own story, but I highly doubt that’s what’ll happen. We’ll just get some updated beat-for-beat remake with less Curry or Meatloaf.
Hiddleston. He’d have a blast.
Also also, good luck with your show! I wish I was musically inclined enough to be in Rocky Horror!
Thanks! It’s going to be pretty good, I think. Our Frank is… man, he is something else.
I read something recently that any kind of casting for Frank isn’t casting Frank, it’s casting Tim-Curry-as-Frank, which is a very different thing.
EXACTLY!
Everyone just re-does an attempt at Tim Curry, even down to the costume and the make up; but that was all Tim Curry and Richard O’Brien, I’d love to see a new take on the character if I have to watch a re-make.
Who are you playing?? I’ve played Magenta and it was like I finally revealed myself in my purest form. It was a spiritual experience.
I’m an Usherette/Trixie and in the chorus. It’s just such an amazing group–four of us are playing the same roles we played in 2006 (Columbia, Frank, Riff, and me), it’s like coming home every night. Totally agreed; this show has been life-changing for me.
RIGHT?? Ugh I don’t know why but I find this so upsetting. You think they’re going to change the lyrics to “I’m just a sweet transwoman”? Cuz if not, you’re not a transvestite, you’re a woman in a corset. In conclusion, I LOVE LAVERNE COX BUT COME ON IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN RUPAUL.
Or they could have her play a male transvestite who’s also gay, although I doubt Laverne Cox would be up for that and it would probably be too confusing for general audiences.
Like the brilliance of Frank N Furter is how batshit insane he is, and he just happens to be a Transvestite and super gay (not always mutually exclusive according to Eddie Izzard), they never imply that he’s a transvestite because he’s crazy or crazy because he’s a transvestite.
I’m holding steady in my opinion that middle-aged Tim Curry could out crazy anyone else they choose. Even a sequel with the original cast would be better than a remake (REMAKES ARE NOT NECESSARY FOR ENJOYMENT.)
I’m going to go home and watch Rocky Horror now and stew in my un-happiness at this remake.
I wish Tim Curry was healthy enough for it, but he hasn’t recovered from his stroke.
At any rate–Frank is supposed to be a gender-nonconforming, bi/omnisexual, ALIEN. He explicitly has had relations with Eddie, Columbia, Rocky, Brad, and Janet, and implied with Riff and Magenta. He is occasionally butch, occasionally not-butch, always made up beautifully.
He is not a transwoman.
WHAT! Tim Curry had a stroke? I must google.
I almost want to say that Laverne Cox is too gender conforming to play Frank; She is a woman who looks and acts like a woman (a ridiculously glamorous, very femme, woman in fact), sure we all know she’s trans, but she’s not very non-conforming IMO.
It sounds bad, but Frank is a male character and should be played by a man (Unless they’re doing extensive re-writes, and if so I will have OTHER OPINIONS.), unless they gender swap a lot of the cast and even then, its funny because he’s a man dressed as a sexually provocative woman, if it was a woman there wouldn’t be much out of the ordinary (woman dresses provacatively, sings some songs and makes a perfect man who then runs off with another woman? hmmm.). And isn’t part of the whole Rocky story line that he’s not sure if he’s gay?
Yeah but … acting. I’ve seen men play women, women play men, women play men transitioning to women, men and women playing sexually ambiguous roles, etc. That’s the magic of hollywood. I’m sure women have played Frank N Furter before.
I know I know, I could be completely wrong and they’re re-working the script and have an amazing cast and Laverne Cox will kill; I am so ok with being wrong about this.
But right now my gut reaction is that the studio have gone ‘Well the character is a transvestite and this actor is transgender, thats the same thing right?’ and looking at the movie as it is, I really don’t think that’s the right approach, but again, I might be completely wrong and I am ok with that. (In fact I’m hoping for it.)
hahaha I love the summary of the RHPS plot in that article. “The movie is a satire of sci-fi movies and horror B-movies and originally starred Susan Sarandon and Barry Bostwick as a couple who stumble upon Frank-N-Furter’s odd castle in which he is creating a living man in his lab.” Yes, that…is an accurate plot summary.
I want to trust Laverne Cox, but…STOP REMAKING THINGS. STOOOOOP.
Besides general remake-fatigue, I don’t understand what all the fuss is about.
1. Every live Rocky Horror I’ve seen has gender-bended characters. I’ve seen great lady Eddies and Franks. It seems patently ridiculous to me that they would have to make Frank into a transwoman just because Laverne is playing him. I understand the very separate issue of casting actual trans men and woman in stories about them, but this doesn’t seem to be the same thing at all. I would much prefer Laverne’s unique take to someone trying and failing to replicate Tim Curry’s version of the role.
2. I’m also surprised that people are so upset by the idea of a remake, given that live versions of the story are being created pretty much constantly (as in, literally every weekend all over the country). A new version doesn’t erase the original.
A new version of RHPS might be a way to undo some of the problems in the original, maybe? Like the non-consent parts?
On the other hand, I think some of those problems are foundational. The script treats compulsory sexuality as if it’s the cure for conservatism. I am, shall we say, not sold on that thesis.
On the other other hand, I want Laverne Cox to have a long and prosperous career, and she seems really excited about this.
SIGH.
Literal actual exchange that happened last night. I need to stop doing Philosophy.
icky boy: You free tonight?
Me: MAN IS BORN FREE YET EVERYWHERE HE IS IN CHAINS.
yeah…..he wasn’t down for the rousseau, fortunately.
I would date you.
I used to volunteer at the natural history museum and kids would ask if the taxidermy animals were real and it took a lot of self-control to not go on about what “real” means.
BRILLIANT retort. It should be printed in a collection for young girls everywhere.
See, online, you’d get a response like: “…so, you’re into 50Shades then? :D? [insert dick pic here]”
NEVER stop doing philosophy. That retort was excellent!
New York seems more and more like the place to be. Hamilton AND a Doctor Who bar. But I really shouldn’t spend my savings on a trip around half the world 🙁
I like Joe Biden very much but I’m super weirded out by how the Rachel Maddow episode I’m listening to is basically a montage of people talking about how much they’ve always respected him, as if they were recycling footage from their Video Remembrances file. He’s FINE. He’s fine! Stop talking about how beloved he is!
Hello here is cool link featuring your new favourite band:
http://music.cbc.ca/#!/blogs/2015/10/Punk-band-Pa…
Canada is so lit rn.
Guys, we’re all missing an important point here: Of course Biden isn’t running. He wouldn’t. He would take a train.
Amtrak should name a car in your honor.
Ottawa has a Zaphod Beelblebrox bar! http://zaphods.ca/
The pangalactic gargleblaster is a bit disappointing. The Slarty Bartfast, tho, tastes exactly like another.
Didn’t they already float a Cruel Intentions TV Show? I remember everyone getting their knickers in a twist over it and it either never aired or got cancelled pretty quickly, but I think one (maybe both) of the direct-to-video sequels were originally episodes of the show.
I don’t think Gossip Girl has enough girls kissing in it for it to be considered a Cruel Intentions TV show.
Cruel Intentions TV show? NO.
No to the show but also a MASSIVE no to the story they’ve come up with. ‘Rags to riches guy goes to fancy school and discovers how awful everyone is’ was already done in CI2 and Gossip Girl.
Plus wasn’t Reese Witherspoon’s character from a pretty well off family? Her son would not grow up poor/out of touch with high society, even if he didn’t know who his father was. ALSO ‘Girl has sex for the first time and gets pregnant plus the guy dies’ trope, no. And even if she did get pregnant from that one time she had sex with a guy (who was a guy who had enough sex that he’d definitely know how to use contraception), I get the impression that her family wouldn’t let her keep it (either abortion, or since they’re religious probably adoption and hiding her away during the pregnancy). PLUS WHY DID SHE HAVE TO HAVE A BOY! It could have easily been a girl and at least brought something new to the table.
I’d much rather follow Katherine as she viscously manipulates her way through the socialite world, probably while also running a few companies. Maybe she marries that black guy she was sleeping with (Tay Diggs?? The cello teacher anyway) and shocks her whole family and then they have a daughter that she raises to be even worse than her and together they take over the world. WOULD WATCH IT.
This makes me wonder what a Dangerous Liaisons show would be like? Just really rich, really evil people toying with others. But, like, in great costumes and glorious surroundings.
I’d watch it. Awful people being truly awful is one of my favorite things (Although I mean properly awful, not that soapy GG/OC bullshit where it all works out. I WANT PEOPLE BEING ASSASSINATED.
Yes to all of this.
And I think her giving up the child for adoption is probably what happened – I mean, his last name is neither “Hargrove” nor “Valmont” and he grows up in Kansas without knowing anything about his father. I imagine Annette would have told her child about his father if she’d been around – so my guess is, he was adopted, and then *somehow* obtains the diary.
Why he would go to San Francisco to find answers even though the original movie was set on the East Coast is beyond me, though.
That makes a bit more sense, but it still sounds eye-waveringly boring. ‘middle american small town boy goes to big city and is fish out of water’ been there, done that, so bloody bored of it.
I bet there’ll be some situation where he meets some relative of his, but doesn’t tell them who he is for some stupid reason and becomes part of their lives and awkwardness and secrecy ensues. *yawn*
OOooh Sean Patrick Thomas! I had a SCREECHING crush on him in high school – thank you for bringing him back to the front of my brain! The internet reports that he’s married with two children.
Google has informed me that he is not who I thought he was (The guy from Private Practice with the smile and the dodgy goaties), but DAMN he’s even hotter than I remember.
Ugh it was all just so smoldering. The cello… the love letters…. the wooden box…That movie gave me so many feelings. I need to re-watch, but I am also concerned that the actors will look like children to me. I think Sean Patrick Thomas was supposed to be a college student, though, right? So maybe I’m only a half-creep?
So much smolder.
And since I haven’t seen the movie in awhile, I only just remembered that he was in love with Selma Blair’s character, so Katherine probably wouldn’t marry him. I’m sure she’d find herself some other suitable man, either the CEO of some massive company that she can keep under her thumb, or like her coke dealer so she can thoroughly shock society (But only for her first marriage. I imagine that by 30 she’d have a collection of husbands and the property and wealth that she got off them in the divorce.)
The whole original Cruel Intentions concept is one that I think Lindsay Ellis (as Nostalgia Chick) was absolutely right on was that grafting the psychological motivations of the original middle-aged (or at least solidly adult characters) onto teenagers just fundamentally does not work. (Also that John Malkovich 80% of the time sounds like a disgruntled customer at Olive Garden.)
Yes, I watched it when I was about 23 and it just didn’t work. I couldn’t believe that the stakes were high enough for those characters. The Marquis’s life is ruined; Katherine’s just having a rubbish time at high school.
THE METS ARE GOING TO THE WORLD SERIES!!! And honestly my first thought was “Look around, look around, how lucky we are to be alive right now!” because 1) TRUTH; and 2) Hamilton owns my brain.
The Way Station is super cool! When I was there, I met this girl who was celebrating her birthday in a homemade TARDIS dress. It’s a cool spot. They used to also do a weekly Buffy rewatch, I think?
On other #banmen news, I had a DREAM last night that I was getting annoyingly hit on by A Dude in the checkout line at Wegmans. And now I have a gynecologist appointment. I am SO not feeling today, Toasties.
Does that mean puppies hate their leash?! I always took it a sign of extreme excitement! They’re so excited to walk that they want to walk themselves!
I understand it as the doggies thinking the leash is a toy, like, oh good, you attached my toy to me so now I won’t lose it!
OMG that’s even cuter.
Just posting to say that this is Frumiosa, aka the artist formerly known as d**tyb*x. Yesterday my boss threatened to fire me for re-posting an innocuous article about maintaining work-life balance at non-profits on Facebook, when hours before I had posted about my husband’s accident. She took it as a sign that I was complaining publicly about our office’s leave policies (which a. no – even though I damn well wanted to – I’m not an idiot, and b. even if it was, which there was no evidence of, how is posting it a fire-able offense?), and that as a public face of the organization it made them look bad. I took the post down. And now I’m super-paranoid that my online presence is being tracked for signs of “dissent”, so I’ve changed my name here and delinked everything from my Twitter and returned to my fast from Facebook. Please send B*st*n-area job postings my way cuz I gotta get the fuck out of here.
1: Excellent name choice, I was admiring it up thread
2: KILL THE BOSS.
(Don’t actually do this cause then we’d all be accomplices to murder and that’s not cool.)
Thanks! I’m curious as to how to reads to you, meaning-wise. You probably already know this, but Frum = Jewishly observant, Furiosa = my life coach.
I just though it was a play on Furiosa, I am clueless when it comes to religion words
I want Frumiosa = “frumious bandersnatch” + “wingardium leviosa”
HOLY SHIT. That is fucking insane, and I am incensed on your behalf. Thank you so much for checking in and updating us! And God, I KNEW she was the retaliatory sort (concerning all those well-meaning suggestions to somehow report her to the committee giving her that award). Was this your personal FB page you posted that link to??? Can you defriend her, or put her in a category so she can’t see anything you post anymore?
I wish I were anywhere near Boston and could send you more specific help than internet rage!
P.S. YOU CAN SURVIVE THIS. You will outlast her and get out and find someone sane and worthy of being your employer. Stay strong.
I actually restricted her on facebook awhile ago (not blocked – she could see some things, just not all, and fb doesn’t notify her), when this stuff first started, to feel safer, and she somehow found out and I caught shit for it, so I undid it. Which is also kind of fucked up.
Anyway, thanks for your support guys – my lunch break is over and I gotta get back to work at this job I totally love.
your boss is such a nightmare. I would never ever ever ever friend a boss on facebook and the fact your boss thinks its any of her business to be your friend or annoyed if you restrict her is bananas.
How…did she even find out? That’s really creepy and fucked up. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this!
You know, I really think you should actually defriend her tonight. She can not fire you for it, and there aren’t that many bridges left to burn here (or worthwhile ones to save). She’s already driven you to changing your social media names! And this aspect of her infringing on your personal spaces, influencing what you do there, needs to stop immediately.
I know things won’t be completely better until you have another job, but you can at least reclaim a little of your life for yourself, so you aren’t as miserable outside work as you are when you’re there.
So glad to see you here. So sorry your manager is a horrible excuse for a human being. I think you are wise to be extra careful. Asshole Manager *can* fire you. Maybe not legally, but she can. And legal restitution for employees is very rare, always expensive. It should not be this way. But it is. ::sigh::
(My bona fides: Sued 2 of Mr Rose’s employers, threatened to sue 1 of mine. Had labor lawyers on retainer in 2 states, so far.)
Ugh what a stupid boss. I’m sorry that you have to live with the paranoia now. My favorite site for job postings in our area is hireculture; I wish I had something more specific to offer you!
OK, not saying this as victim-blaming, but as practical advice: your boss (and ideally your co-workers) should never have had access to your social media, but once you start fearing for your job, you must cut off any existing access; don’t do ANYTHING on work computers that’s not strictly work-related; and change your Twitter/Tumblr/whatever. It’s only a matter of time til she fires you, but since you don’t have a fallback option you need to extend that time as long as possible.
Keystroke trackers are common, cheap, easy to install. Many employers have them on work computers. Few of those employers actually check the data. They just like knowing it’s available if they need an excuse to fire someone. But Frumious’ manager is asshole enough to be checking the keystroke log daily.
Thanks for this advice. For the record, she friended me on facebook – that was definitely not my idea. And how does one go about gracefully denying that request — especially when we live in the same community and have many mutual friends (another fun wrinkle in this shit situation)? Her main point is that as an employee I represent the organization, so there is no room for any personal space, and if I restrict/block her it’s like me being openly hostile and evasive. Which I don’t agree with, but understand. Until this bullshit about the article – that was straight ridiculous. I didn’t give her access to any other social media accounts, but that doesn’t mean she hasn’t looked. But yeah, nothing on my work computer, erase all histories, burn after reading, etc. This is all very motivating to do my job raising money for the organization :/
Ugggggggggggh I’m SO sorry that she did that. It tells me she knows _exactly_ how terrible the work/life balance is there. Not that that is any comfort to you at all. Thinking new-job thoughts very hard in your direction.
I saw your name change yesterday and I was worried it was something like this. Best of luck, keep us updated as you can.
a: that is terrible
b: I myself have been 2/3 hoping to be fired lately, so I can collect unemployment and also not be employed here any longer. (being fired for gross misconduct will disqualify you, but being fired for poor performance (which I guess is the closest official reason to boss is a flaming asshole) will not). Just a little food for thought.
c: wishing you a swift victory in your search for more suitable employment.
I’m sorry this us happening to you 🙁 It happened to a coworker of mine at a previous job: she posted “Bored at work, can’t wait for my maternity leave!” and almost ended up fired over it (although that was just one part of an ongoing pile of craziness).
Harvard Business School has two staff openings in Development- I think the two Staff Assistant positions here:
https://sjobs.brassring.com/TGWebHost/searchresul…
I have a friend who works there and let me know if I could put you in touch with her.
Hey, I actually applied to a development position at HBS a couple of weeks ago – Associate Professor, Prospect Development, External Relations. I would love it if you would put me in touch with your friend, thank you so much for the offer. I’d rather not list my email here (see: crazy boss); how can I contact you?
Can I follow you on Toastie Twitter and then PM you?
I just followed you. Talk to you soon!
Everything in your comment is horrible news and I am sorry, but that is A+ nickname choosing!
I am 20% into Career of Evil (J.K. Rowling’s latest mystery novel) and it is SO GOOD and yet also so difficult, because God damn, every story I touched yesterday (the other mystery novel audiobook I finished in my car, the American Life podcast I listened to at home) was about men stalking and abusing and killing women.
And, unfortunately, Career of Evil opens with the same concept, in the killer’s mind, which I find really hard to deal with — I felt physically gross and nauseated watching The Fall, couldn’t stand The Devil in the White City for the same reason, will NOT see that film adaptation. But I trust J.K. Rowling, and she is making it worth it, but it is hard.
I just hate how many popular TV shows and books, especially ones focused on crime investigations, just take it for granted. There will always be a man murdering a woman. Often more than one. I want to burn things down to bring attention to this fact taken for granted, to make people care and treat it like the crisis it is. Even if it is an age-old one.
You’re not the only one. I wish I could filter Netflix to to automatically exclude everything about murdered ladies.
We should start a petition. Maybe that’ll bring awareness to the issue. Yes, it happens in real life, but maybe pop culture shouldn’t glamorize and voyeurize these murders like they do.
I think I just want better Netflix metadata, and more hands-on access to that data so I can control my recommendations. I want to toggle OFF metadata categories like “dramas featuring attractively murdered women”, and toggle ON categories like “dramas featuring hilariously bad CGI”.
Oh man, that would be a WINNER! Talk about a worthy scheme for an increased subscription plan — so many people would jump on that.
I just started it too! She’s definitely getting more violent and scary with each one, which is hard for me to deal with too.
So, instead, I’m focusing on speculating on when Robin and Strike are finally gonna hook up. My prediction is that her and Matthew will break up this book, and it’ll look like her and Strike will get together but then he’ll get back with Charlotte at the end.
Oh man, that is the real question! It does look like she and Matthew don’t have much time left as a couple (and the breakup will undoubtedly be very difficult for her, as it is for anyone about to get married, with the whole wedding already planned), but I’m not actually sold yet on Robin/Strike. I don’t want to throw a wrench into their working partnership, you know? I really value competent partners.
No WAY will Strike get back with Charlotte! That was such a mess, and so much was already made of how they’ve been on again, off again, for well over a decade… I don’t think Rowling will rehash that again for us, with all the angst and destructiveness it’ll bring. We’ll probably see her again, but they won’t get back together.
I hear why you’re not sold, but I think it’s inevitable. The very first scene of the series is hardcore foreshadowing: Strike and Charlotte are having their final fight, she runs out the door and he decides to follow her but runs smack into Robin on his way out and never goes.
I think it might happen, because Strike’s relationship with Robin is slowly changing his warped view of women; he’s focused on shallow beauty and drama with Charlotte, generally doesn’t like women that much, and is only slowly coming around to seeing Robin as his equally competent partner, because she’s forcing him to. I think he would totally relapse with Charlotte, and something Robin says or does will slap sense back into him.
Oh yes, that was great foreshadowing! I love how she physically prevented him from chasing after Charlotte — and that scene is later explicitly described as the moment that broke Strike free from Charlotte’s hold over him (the “moment of insanity” that made him chase after her to begin with). And also it’s a great parallel that Robin arrives on cloud nine due to her recent engagement, while Stark’s has just ended; and now she’s clearly near her own broken engagement, while (so far) Strike’s on the up again with his new girlfriend.
Robin is also definitely improving his attitude toward women, I agree with that too. I just would really like to see a great example of a platonic partnership between a (heterosexual) man and woman…it doesn’t always have to be inevitable romance.
I guess I’m torn, because I really see the appeal of the platonic partnership, and it’s so underrepresented in stories of all kinds, but. . .I’m also just a sucker for a love story. I might be The Problem.
Since discovering Robert Galbraith, like, two weeks ago, I have certainly been daydreaming about each of the books all day instead of doing many other grown-up things. I am only slightly further into Career of Evil than you are right now and yes, the killer is creepy as hell and I may be having day-nightmares about this soon.
ISN’T IT GREAT? J.K. Rowling is honestly my favorite author not just for Harry Potter, but literally every book she’s written since has had the ability to transport me away from everything in my life, to make me want to forego all responsibilities just to immerse myself in that world. And that’s the sign of the best sort of books.
I can’t wait to find out why Robin dropped out of uni, by the way (though I have my theories). I’m so scared for her in this book, and that whatever traumatic event in her past is going to be triggered.
Oh, it’s a good story. Robin is a badass. God I wish I was reading it right now.
Reminds me of one of my very favorite Onion articles ever.
http://www.theonion.com/article/female-serial-kil…
Oh, I recommend this everywhere, but do watch Scott and Bailey! It’s a police drama set in Manchester and its TOTALLY RADICAL USP is that it thinks women are people! Women are just as likely to be criminals and cops as victims. It’s the strangest thing.
Thanks for the rec!
Toasts, Joanna Newsom’s new album is free to listen to on NPR! http://www.npr.org/2015/10/19/449323861/one-for-t…
Listened to it once so far. I think I might love it. Will have to listen to it a few dozen more times to make sure.
I don’t know if anyone’s been following the university fees protests in South Africa, but this is a very important (and very difficult) video: http://www.dailymaverick.co.za/article/2015-10-21…
3 out of 4 lawyers say….
that I’m fucked. Can’t petition the court to move kids out of jurisdiction without a job. Can’t get a job without the ability to say I’ll move there. He lives in the school district, so judge will say, “leave kids with him”, period, and *I* would get every other weekend.
it’s another 6 years before the girl is old enough to graduate and I’ll be allowed to move out of the county.By which time I’ll have lost 18 years to stay-at-home-motherhood (because abusive man wouldn’t let me work/go to school) and 10 to “being trapped in this city” and I’ll be 50 with no career.
The only thing that would save me would be if he had actually gotten convicted of domestic violence when he was arrested for it, but we all know how that works.
So I can have a job or I can have my kids. If I have a job and leave, I have to leave my kids with the man who threw me down the stairs, encourages the 14 year old to drink with him, and told the same kid he wouldn’t pay for his counseling anymore (when said kid had just had best friend OD and kid was also suicidal).
I’m gonna need bail money.
Fuck.
Double fuck.
That sounds really hard.
ugh, fucking guy, fucking legal system.
<3 to you.
Jesus. Is there no women’s legal advocacy group that can help you, maybe a national org? Because that’s just beyond awful. What is your career? Would it be possible to do anything remotely, like freelancing or consulting, that would be fulfilling, financially or otherwise? Could you write about this and pitch it to a blog/news outlet to draw some attention to your plight and maybe support? Finally, this is probably cold comfort, but 50 isn’t that old. My mother-in-law started her own consulting business, left a bad marriage, came out, and married her best friend – all in her late 50s. It sounds really dark right now but please don’t lose hope. And keep venting to us – I’ve found it personally very helpful and therapeutic 🙂
well, I went to karate to punch things, but it was cancelled, so I had dairy queen for dinner.
I have been looking at contract gigs, but haven’t gotten any yet. I can adjunct maybe next semester. If I had known my current job was going to flake on going full-time I could be a year into a phd by now, but my alimony won’t last long enough to do that now.
I wouldn’t do a blog, it would go very badly for me in court if I did, if I ever made it to court. I could get a job and move and then be in contempt of court, but that would be hard to pull off without him finding out and stopping me and wouldn’t be fair to the kids. I want to murder my divorce lawyer more than the ex, at this point.
if he files for 50/50 I might be able to pull out some records to show he’s not great, but since it’s not illegal to give a 14 year old alcohol, it doesn’t matter. I am going to stop thinking about it for today and zombie out in front of the tv.
Is there any way you can get “Douchenozzle Husband will pay for [14 Year Old]’s psychiatric counseling for at least one year”, “Neither parent offer [14 Year Old] more than one alcoholic beverage per week, and only on non-school evenings with parental supervision”, etc., in the joint parenting agreement? Not that that’s foolproof, but it would offer you ammunition in the event that he violates it. (And the judge might notice the alcohol clause and ask “hey, what’s that about?”, which should be interesting.)
This sounds so shit, as someone with a fair share of douchnozzle fathers in their life, I’m really sorry you have to go through this.
If its any consolation, my mum is 55 and pretty much gave up her whole life to surviving as a single mother of two kids, while battling two asshole fathers over child support. Now that I’m a grown up she’s finally able to put some effort into starting a career and is doing all kinds of certifications and training courses (she just got certified as a laughter yoga instructor a few weeks ago, and now she’s doing a perma-culture leadership training course. She’s always been a bit alternative) So its never too late!
I’m also sorry that you’re struggling to get mental health support for your kids, but good for you for fighting for it! I was lucky that my country has socialized medicine and I was able to get counselling and support as a crazy teen, the US system really is not fair on anyone.
the kids and I have subsized mental health care now, so that is ok. The divorce was final in 2011 so he is going to have to reopen this to change custody, but basically there is nothing to stop him. the bigger issue in my head is that the man who threatened to take my kids away *can*, even 6 years later, and my only choice is to let him dictate where I live, which means, he still controls my body in a very literal sense, and even that won’t stop him getting more custody, to brainwash my kids during (and he’s a class A narcissitic psychopath, so be sure that he is).
Yeah, the syntax of that sentence sucked, but basically, the abuser wins, and I’m having a really hard time with it.
(edited: that was before coffee, nothing has objectively changed since yesterday morning when I hadn’t yet talked to lawyers, there are no plans to move or no job to move to yet, so in theory, my life is the same as it was last week. I will stop allowing myself to apply for jobs in CO or WA, I guess, as that’s just torturing myself. I will drink coffee and try to be less fatalistic.)
Miss Hillyard may be bitter, but she has pretty good reason to be, really.
ok, but, the gulf between "no jump scares" and "a FEW jump scares but they're well-telegraphed" is ENORMOUS and everybody saying "it's not REALLY scary" is just convincing me more and more that yes, it is too scary. The problem with jump scares is that you're waiting for them to happen, but you can't do anything about them! Super 8 is also a scary movie!!
I'm similarly pretty skeptical of non-wimps' assessment of the difference between "some blood" and "excessive gore"… my personal barometer is, "I was ABLE to watch both Lord of the Rings and V for Vendetta, but they were Too Much and a movie has to be genuinely spectacular for me to go through that."
Which is a shame, because I love period costumes 🙁 🙁
I know. The baiting Mrs Goodwin and Miss Chilperic was a bit much (especially since Mrs Goodwin's husband had faked his death to cross the Atlantic and become a private detective's assistant!) but she's dead-on about male privilege and how unfair it is and how much good work it stifles.
Yes as you originally said, as I get older… I first read it at maybe 18? And I was all 'I mean I see her point but does she have to be so MEAN about it?'
And now I am like '[repeats Miss Hillyard's rants verbatim without realising]'
I re-read it this year and I realised I am Harriet's age now. It was strange. I can't recall if it's mentioned how old Miss Hillyard is but I am basically as bitter as her, in a much more lenient society so although I still think lashing out at other women is not good at all, I certainly am not in a position to criticise her.
(And it's also interesting how a watered-down version of that same conflict between women with and without children/the urge to help people vs the urge to protect the group plays out in almost every workplace and group of women I've been in)
How awful. This is one of the things one would hope would change as more women become doctors (or do women become doctors to whom male doctors don't listen?)
I know. She was teaching when Harriet was a student, but is young enough that her being attracted to Peter isn't ridiculous, just humiliating. So mid-forties?
And it's true- we're still fighting all the same battles the SCR was. My sister was just here on a lovely surprise visit and she was scolding me for being too much of a misandrist, and making the argument the Dean makes about oh, men were brought up to believe things worked a certain way and then everything changed on them and no wonder they're confused about their roles and I was just making Marge Simpson "grrrrrrrs".
I kind of hope that Miss Hillyard found something or someone to make her happier when the war shook everything up. Which of course does not fix any of the underlying problems making her and us angry.
Well, I kind of agree with your sister. She is right. But also WHO CARES? At some point a reasonable man has enough information to know that things aren't good for the rest of the world who isn't exactly like him. So either he is willfully blind, or he doesn't care, or both.
I try to cut men a lot of slack when they are clearly trying. Tbh this is not tested very often because so many of them don't. And that slack does not involve giving them cookies for thinking that I might be human too.
I hope so too. She gets a cameo in Busman's Honeymoon from memory, and seems a bit more chill. It's small crumbs but I remind myself that a hundred years before THAT, Miss Hillyard wouldn't have been allowed anywhere near an institution of higher learning. The steps are too small, too shakey, but at least they are steps. Maybe not in an actual direction, though, is the thing.
I try to be more Miss De Vine than Hillyard, but idk how well I manage, really. I suppose I am not the best judge of that.