Many thanks to Friend of the Toast Carvell Wallace for making sure I saw this. Now I am doing the same for you. “The funniest person on YouTube, it turns out, is thirteen years old,” and he was not wrong.
(Nicole is already on Thanksgiving vacation, so no link roundup today! Feel free to fling any links you wish into the comments.)
Guys please tell me someone else read this http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2015/11/30/our-… because you will not find someone more interested in cultural practices around mourning than I am, but WOW that article was WEIRD.
I am reading it now and my eyebrows might permanently disappear into my hairline.
OH Caitlin Doughty! I actually enjoy her youtube channel (though the video about her mourning the death of her cat had me in tears), and this article a little more over-the-top than she usually presents in her videos
What exactly weirded you out about it? I’ve been following Doughty’s work for awhile, but one thing that is strange to me is the almost total lack of attention she gives to religion in the discussion. I get that she’s coming from a secular perspective, but she’s ignoring a very potent force in peoples’ lives that factors into our conceptions of death, mourning, burial, etc. For example, as a Jewish person I would want to hear her thoughts on our tradition of burying just in a prayer shawl (or pine box in the US, it’s the law), and of the shiva period after. I think there must be a way to incorporate her work with traditional practices, and it’s odd to me that in her death-centered work she doesn’t touch on what is an enormous factor for many people, actively religious or not.
Also as a Jewish person, the reverence for cremation creeps me the fuck out. Anyway.
That’s it exactly. I can understand that there’s space for secular mourning rituals in society, but religion is incredibly important for many, many, many people in shaping their understanding of what death and ritual looks like. Funerals can be rote, but there’s value in ceremony and ritual in putting your loved one to rest in the same way as the rest of your family and community. They can offer closure in a way that many people don’t get out of a memorial service without that level of formality. I think it’s strange to ignore that or pass it off as old-fashioned.
Hm. My impression (and I may be a little biased, as I read her book last year and enjoyed it) was that she wanted to strike a balance between the sanitized death industry as the modern world has shaped it (embalming, waxy makeup, rosy lights, airtight coffins) and the detached (as she saw it, anyway) cremation process (“oh, it’s just a body, throw it in there”). It was a little odd that the article didn’t mention religion much, but it seemed to me that she wanted to inject more ceremony into the business of death without shying away from the reality or beauty of it.
Perhaps a question about religion in modern death could be an Ask A Mortician for her!
Judging by what I learned about this woman from the article I kind of doubt deeply religious people are going to be utilizing her services so it’s not surprising that that’s not a huge part of the article.
I think that when Doughty does discuss religion (usually in the context of non-Western cultures), she is very respectful of the religious and community rituals surrounding death that people feel they need to grieve appropriately. What I think she is really trying to accomplish is to disabuse people of the notion that you have to anything when it comes to death. She’s trying to fight the fairly pervasive notion in our culture that dead bodies are unsafe; that you have to immediately turn them over to a professional; that you have to have them embalmed or cremated. The principles she’s trying to promote, namely a greater engagement with mortality and less fear around death and dead bodies, can be incorporated into even traditional religious ceremonies.
I actually went to college with her editor for her book, and I’m trying to answer exactly this question en re: how she interacts with religious traditions in the states, especially Judaism. I’ll let you know what I find out!
I didn’t think that was weird at all, sounds like a good idea to me. Helping to prepare a corpse for burial/cremation seems like it would be a really good way to help come to terms with the person’s death. I kind of sound like I’m being sarcastic there, but I’m not.
I personally could not get on board with helping to prepare a loved one’s body but I can 100% get behind not embalming. I don’t get why people would want the body to look like a Madame Tussaud’s figure! I do sort of understand why some people might find it comforting in the case of people whose illness really changed their appearance to see them looking like their former selves, but to me it’s just creepy.
I’m sort of in the same boat–I’d like to think I could help prepare a body, but I have my doubts about myself, haha. But definitely NO to embalming, especially after I read Smoke Gets In Your Eyes. It’s pretty poisonous and if we’re being completely real, kind of pointless.
And also actually quite dangerous for the people doing it as well. There’s very little regulation enforcement of how the bodies are prepared from state to state, and many embalmers end up with terrible health problems. Most of the chemicals are carcinogens and using masks is not always required (and even not encouraged in some places, because of how it slows the surprisingly cutthroat business). It’s really a terrible process for everyone involved. I would love to see it phased out rather quickly. Is cremation a better option? In some ways yes, in some ways no. But it’s definitely less harmful for the people who are operating the machinery.
In traditional Jewish ritual, it is the custom of a group of laypeople to wash and prepare the body. It’s called a chevre kadisha. There’s a queer-friendly one in my town, and I’m hoping to do a training to prepare bodies this year.
Oh good, she’s finally getting her own funeral home!
So I think what Caitlin is trying to do isn’t so much related to religion at all, really. Her whole thing is that, instead of having a funeral home whisk your loved one’s body away and deal with it, and then you come see it all made up and embalmed at the service or visitation or what have you, you help prepare your loved one’s body. I think what you choose to do with the body after that is entirely your decision. If you want to do a traditional religious service, you can. If you chose not to embalm, you just might want to do it more quickly.
I was raised Protestant, and my religion never really had anything to say on what you’re supposed to do after someone dies, but that image of the “hyper-embalmed, preserved corpse, with the makeup and the suit” is certainly one I’m terribly familiar with. I think, especially as a medievalist, she’s trying to get people more comfortable with death. Right now, the body leaves our possession at the hospital and most of us don’t see it again until the funeral home. That can be jarring and unnatural. For people who are willing and have the stomach for it, preparing a loved one for whatever you’re planning to do–cremation, embalming, burial, whatever–can be a really beautiful, loving gesture that connects you with that person and also with death as a part of life and something that isn’t so shameful or so terrifying. It’s just something that happens. It was a concept most people had in the Middle Ages and that we’ve become divorced from.
So I don’t think she necessarily leaves religion out at all so much as it’s something that each family brings in for themselves (or doesn’t). I think she herself isn’t very religious, but she’s open to whatever anyone needs to do to mourn. I like her and her work immensely. Go find her book if you haven’t. She’s a cool girl.
This kid is going places and I feel secure about our nation’s future.
Were you also led down an Internet rabbit hole trying to figure out wtf this channel is and who these girls are? I am INTRIGUED.
I feel like I need context! Also, I am old.
The Civil War trailer came out ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVdV-lxRPFo ) and there is not nearly enough Chadwick Boseman in it.
I forgot he’d be in this one! Dang, now I’ll actually have to see it. (Did not love Avengers 2, so I was going to skip this one.)
Yeah, I didn’t love Avengers 2 either, but Winter Soldier was so good that I figured I’d give this the benefit of the doubt.
If I pretend that nothing happened with the characters’ personal lives (I reject Suburban Dad Clint Barton with my WHOLE HEART, even more than I reject Nat/Bruce and almost as much as I reject Natasha “I’m a monster because I can’t have babies” Romanoff) I can look on Avengers 2 with fondness.
But it’s difficult.
AOU was The Worst, but have no fear, this is a Russo Brothers Cap movie. It’s going to be sooooo much better.
I mean, all the Stucky is going to be glorious.
…I may have nearly cried over it this morning when watching the preview.
That is so true! Winter Soldier is amazing.
I know almost nothing about the original Civil War timeline and I’m not very immersed in the MCU fandom but I deeply enjoy that the foundation of this movie is the deep and abiding love that Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes have for each other.
THEIR LOVE TEARS THE AVENGERS ASUNDER, YOU GUYS
eta: also out of all of the MCU trilogies, the Captain America ones are the strongest
Sometimes I get distracted by other fandoms (Hannibal!) and have to be reminded that STUCKY IS REAL AND I AM STUCKY TRASH.
THIS IS MY FAVORITE PART.
Cap movies are the best. I don’t even care about the main Avengers ones anymore; I just watch Cap 2 a lot.
For a moment there I was really expecting a lot more Ken Burns in that…
Wednesday is not a brain day apparently.
Now I’m really hoping for some Shelby Foote voice over accompanied by Ashokan Farewell at some point in the film and will be greatly disappointed if none is forthcoming.
That line when Tony told Steve “I’m your friend too,” I yelled at the screen. The Avengers movies have done the worst job at showing those two as friends. Of course Steve is going to rescue Bucky/become a fugitive for him over freaking Tony. Of Course.
I know!! I’m really hoping that Tony’s line was from some completely different scene and just cut that way in the trailer for ~drama~
I thought it was very sad that Tony thought Cap was his friend. I’m not sure Tony knows what a friend is.
I have a very strong suspicion that the actors only barely see each other during the filming of these movies, and I mean literally during the filming. Body doubles are cheap I guess.
Did “On Pandering” get taken down, or is my computer being weird? I was saving it to read for today because I will have nothing to do at work, but I keep getting a 404 error. Alternatively, does anyone have a link where it was posted elsewhere?
I think it may have crashed Tin House’s site, but it’s cached here: http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=ca…
Thank you!!
I just saw this cached one on Twitter–apparently the original Tinhouse site has gotten hammered. It’s not pretty, but it should work.
Edit: Crap, I can’t get the html to work right, stupid Google long address. Try this.
Mallory: a new series of Hidden Killers is being made right now, ‘The Post War Home’, and I licensed a bunch of archive footage to them yesterday. Along with the licence agreement for the production team to sign, I also sent a link to your Hidden Killers article. All I got back was the signed agreement. No comment on your article. But, I am fairly hopeful that one of them will eventually forward it to Suzannah Lipscomb and then she will see your description of her as Taylor Swift crossed with a beautiful swan, and she will smile and toss her golden hair.
Damn it, American holidays! Now I have to actually work during work hours.
I know right? What am I supposed to do for the next three hours?
And tomorrow! I’m in the office all day tomorrow!
Same. And Friday, too!
Friday I’m at least teaching, so I won’t miss not having #content. Tomorrow, though…
Ugggghhhh I’m going to be horrible hungover tomorrow at work, how will I cope without my nutritious afternoon Toast?
We still have some posts running today! And a few classic re-runs tomorrow, so don’t despair entirely!
Anybody want to talk about “Man in the High Castle”? I’m two episodes in and wondering if it’s worth going on. The real world is horrifying enough these days without having children dying in gas chamber playrooms in office buildings inside my head, thank you very much.
I’m in the exact same place – just finished ep 2 and not sure I want to continue. The world-building is really good, but it’s just so damn bleak.
I also just finished episode 2 last night and I think I’m going to continue. I’m already invested in finding out what’s up with those “films.” Are they just faked propaganda? Are they real footage? Is there some way to travel between alternate universes?
I agree the world they’ve built is bleak, but I think for me it’s so far removed from our reality that it doesn’t cause lingering mental anguish after watching.
I was about to start it right now, but your comment might make me reconsider this decision…
Wow that sounds like a thing I should never watch and also immediately forget what you just said about it.
Um yeah me too.
I accidentally read about a horrible child-abuse death in the local paper last night and I wish I could excise that part of my brain. I was thinking I’d watch this show, but no way do I need fictional children’s deaths (based on actual children’s deaths) in my mind, too.
I’ve only watched one but my main take away was that while the world building is cool, the acting is well… shitty. Not feeling particularly inspired to continue.
I’m on 4. I’m a sucker for alternate history, but it’s definitely too harsh to binge watch. It’s more like, watch, shudder, cleanse mind with Bob’s Burgers.
That is exactly what I watched after finishing ep 2 last night. Specifically, the Thanksgiving episode where Bob pretends to be Mr. Fischoeder’s cook.
Yikes, reading these comments is making me not even want to give it a try – it was an “if I get around to it” show that looked intriguing.
But like, can we also talk about the MTA’s advertising for it? Holy shit.
The amount of people that had to okay that idea…and yet it happened. I can’t.
I dunno, I’m at episode 8 and some more terrible stuff has happened, but overall I just don’t get what the show is trying to say.
Nazis are bad, yeah sure, I’ve got that, but apart from that…
So, reboot Battlestar – all about how enemies are among us, they look like us, (are they us?) we can turn on the people we have loved if they are outed as the ‘other’. Old Twilight Zones – mainly the take home message appears to be “The real monster is mankind” (Or sometimes everyone is already dead, or you made a deal with Satan by accident, but that’s less relevant to my point here).
I just think The Man In The High Castle could be better. They could use language we hear now, Homeland rather than Fatherland; for example, and the message should be “What good was winning the Second World war (Or any War) if we succumb to totalitarianism to fight the enemy? (In PK Dicks case, that was communism, in our case it is the equally nebulous “terrorism’ ) .
It’s only been 10 years since America lost the war in MIHC and yet resistance is negligible. The world building is lacking in depth. Why is everything so German? Why isn’t there an American Puppet Government?
How can Japan maintain any control in North America when it’s so bloody large?
The Central belt is no mans land. That is where all the food comes from. Who is feeding the americas.
All questions. No answers.
So a white man wrote a YA novel about a kick-ass girl who faces “all sorts of morally ambiguous choices”… and he thinks he’s the first one.
http://www.publishersweekly.com/pw/by-topic/child…
Of course, his book was sold for six figures and will be made into a movie by that paragon of moral ambiguity, Jerry Bruckheimer.
Excuse me while I facepalm.
I know everyone here loves YA, but can’t we as a culture just let it rest for a little while?
Eh. Honestly, I think it’s always existed (stories featuring teens definitely have), the label’s just new (and mostly a publishing tool, anyway). I don’t think most YA is any less sophisticated than many “adult” genres. So I’m okay with doing away with the hype, but I think there’s absolutely a place for the books.
I think I’m just sick of hearing about teenagers constantly. They’re not all that interesting. Can’t we have a genre story with adults again? (There is absolutely a place for the books, obviously, even if it’s not really my thing.)
I mean, there are plenty of genre books with adults being published every month. I’m not sure I understand your complaint. Any YA book, one can find a similar adult book.
Maybe not similarly hyped or with a big budget movie, but the actual books are there.
It’s the hype and the big budget movie (and the TV shows) that gets to me. Without those things I wouldn’t care, because there are plenty of book genres I can reasonably ignore in my daily life.
ok yeah, then I can see your complaint. More adult genre movies would be good. Ex Machina was so good, more like that.
Ha, that I agree with – it mostly bugs me when it comes to tv shows. And that’s probably why I only read a few YA books a year on average,
I’m with you. I think we’ve gone traveled past the legitimate stance that there’s a lot of great YA these days and it shouldn’t be dismissed as a genre, to…something a little too worshipful, I guess. Worshipful and pandering.
“Bergstrom’s heroine is Gwendolyn Bloom, a Jewish, slightly overweight 17-year-old, who is transformed into a “lean warrior with hair dyed fire-engine red,” during her mission to rescue her father, a kidnapped diplomat.”
Love how “Jewish” and “slightly overweight” are pre-heroic-transformation qualities. Ugh.
I love (i.e., don’t love) the pattern of fiction often feeling the need to designate a character as “slightly overweight.” As though unwilling to create someone who’s just, y’know, no-qualifiers overweight.
Then again, there’s the whole Losing Weight as Positive Character Development thing, so I don’t know what else I would have expected.
And those are the only descriptors used. Nothing about personality included.
Also, let’s be honest–no 17-year-old girl could pull off dyed fire-engine red hair without looking like a
runaway who’s trying to seem older so she can get a big girl job in the city.
I think to the author fire-engine red hair is a personality.
I’m pretty sure it’s only a personality when combined with a lean body shape.
So uh, is she not Jewish anymore after being “transformed into a lean warrior”? Like, WHAT?
Well, as we all know, Jewish guilt adds 10 pounds.
Uh. Overweight teen girl becomes sexy lean fighting machine, travels to Europe and goes around blasting away bad guys while struggling with questions of empowerment and identity? That sounds….not at all appealing. Actually it sounds like what a 35-year-old white man thinks teens would go crazy over. Oh, wait!
For her daddy! She becomes a sexy machine for her *daddy*.
excuse me while i go take a hundred hot showers *shudder*
I was hoping after seeing this talked about on twitter to not figure out what was being discussed. I guess it’s good to know to avoid reading this book when it actually comes out.
Bergstrom’s heroine is Gwendolyn Bloom, a Jewish, slightly overweight 17-year-old, who is transformed into a “lean warrior with hair dyed fire-engine red,”
This is about where I stopped reading and closed the tab with great vehemence.
Haha, soul mate! God forbid your heroine stays fat, amiright?
See: reasons I love Inside Out. Fat sad heroine saves day, remains both fat and sad.
Yeah, this is why I have a “not gonna read” shelf on Goodreads. To remind myself in the lag time between announcement and release of what is going to be terrible. Also, dude, if you’re so contemptuous of YA and so certain no other YA books have moral ambiguity: 1) why are you writing YA? 2) clearly you’re not reading any YA.
also, the article ends with the marketer saying “no really all the violence isn’t a big deal because it’s done by a girl trying to save her father, not by, like, kids forced to kill other children in order to survive.” TRANSLATION: I don’t think your novel is as edgy as you think it is. Would probably be edgier if your main character weren’t making “morally ambiguous” choices in order to save a male relative, AKA conforming to *the* *most* standard narrative of “good” female agency/violence.
#MorallyComplicatedYA is a pretty great reaction to that over on twitter!
But yeah ugh that article made me cringe.
I am enjoying the excerpts some people posted to the Twitter discussion. Well, not enjoying so much as amused by.
Here’s the scene where the protagonist muses about how simple and dull and girly (other) YA novels are.
And here’s the bit where she describes how totally different from other girls she is. She prefers Doc Martens to Prada pumps! Can’t get much more unique than that.
Oh my god, I feel like Chandler: COULD SHE BE MORE CLICHED?
That’s is all the reading I’ll do of that one, thanks.
DOC MARTENS COST AS MUCH AS PRADA PUMPS YOU FUCKING HACK
I mean look no, they don’t but you can’t have your heroine wearing 200 dollar boots while opining about being poor.
Also while putting down other people for wearing expensive stuff for fashion reasons.
Also even ignoring the content, that’s just all really poorly written.
“They’re just not going let let me get away this time, these memories.” I may think I’ve jettisoned them but one night I wake up, and before I can find my unfashionable Doc Martens, the memories have slid over my face and into my eyes, where they begin to dissolve my brain, just like milk.
I wear a bob! I die it bright red! NO ONE EVER DOES THAT I’M SO UNCOOOOL.
Sarah McCarry had an excellent take on this: http://sarahmccarry.tumblr.com/post/133281853104/…
ugh. UGH.
“Bergstrom’s heroine is Gwendolyn Bloom, a Jewish, slightly overweight 17-year-old, who is transformed into a ‘lean warrior with hair dyed fire-engine red,’ during her mission to rescue her father, a kidnapped diplomat.”
OMG! How did he find the plot to pretty much every YA book written in the 90s, plus some other stupid stuff no one cares about?
FWIW, there are YA authors who also get 6 figure deals and movie spinoffs and are women and are paying attention. Holly Black, Cassandra Clare … their books aren’t necessarily masterpieces, but they’re inclusive and diverse (as opposed to “doing diversity”). Not really an antidote to this jackass, but maybe a counterweight.
So I’m turning down a job offer with a 5k pay rise today. Still haven’t heard back from the bosses about my raise but I’m 100% sure it won’t be that much and then I’ll have to have an awkward conversation where I demand more.
But in other news I have an interview next week with a very sexy ad agency (sexy sexy sexy.) that would greatly increase my chances of meeting and marrying Tom Hiddlestone. (Is this an appropriate thing to bring up in an interview? … I’m going to say yes.)
And I’m not even looking for a new job. These things just keep falling into my lap. Life is so v v hard guys.
Haha poor you!
I wouldn’t bring it up in the interview. Obviously they all work there to increase their own chances of marrying Tom Hiddlestone, and you don’t want them to know you’d be competition.
Does “sexy ad agency” mean only attractive people are allowed to work there? If so, I wouldn’t worry too much about Tom Hiddleston. Chances are you’re meeting someone even better looking!
Sexy means they do sexy ads. I can’t be the only one attracted to advertisements right?
*crickets*
Right?
I know, I was just trying to be funny. And you’re definitely not the only one attracted to ads! Although my heart belongs to advertisements with puns, sexy ads are a close second.
… I hate you a little at this moment in my job hunt but you ARE very awesome so I suppose I cannot blame Hiddlestone Agency et al.
Don’t worry, I’d hate me to. I do a bit.
I am horrifically lucky to be where I am and complaining about it always makes me feel bad, but I can’t do anything without copious amounts of moaning accompanying it.
Hamilton + The West Wing
And that’s all I got today!
YOU DON’T KNOW ME!
Hello friends. Some dude wrote to Captain Awkward asking about how to dump a girl he went on one date with, calling her a “Weak Female Lead in [his] story” and talking about her “undeveloped ego”. Ugh.
” Although she’s my age (19)” – this explains a lot.
Any 19-year-old who earnestly says “I have my life together” really needs to be pointed and laughed at as much as possible.
“Since then, I worked at self-improvement, and I’ve honestly been impressed with my progress. I’m a much more confident and relaxed person than I was.”
Hahahahahhaha
I’m just going to jump in and defend 19-year-olds who think they have their shit together. I was one and I did in fact have my shit very much together, although I probably could have been less of a condescending asshole about it, but hey that’s a running theme in my life.
He’ll look back in two years and cringe greatly. We all do.
+1
I actually did scroll through the comments, and he stuck around and listened, and replied with more openness and self-awareness than I expected based on the letter, including serious critiques about the sexism all over his prose.
I’m in camp Future Self Will Cringe.
I look back on some of my younger-self’s online activity and weep. The self absorption level reached near critical heights many times.
(I’m still amazingly self-absorbed but at least I don’t throw hissy fits any more when people point it out.)
I work with college students, and mostly, I want to give the letter writer a gentle hug, then a gentle smack upside the head, then make him read the entire content of this website and the Second Sex.
This is one of the only times I found CA’s comment section unreadable. So much back and forth between “lol, he’s 19” and “that’s ageist.”
Yeah, CA commentariat are usually great but there is a tendency for people to go down rabbit holes sometimes. The first comment tho – ‘Congratulations on overcoming your insecurity’ – was Toast-level hilarious.
Oh my, I don’t read the comments over there because there are always so many. Good thing I don’t. “Ageist”? Is this supposed to be a joke?
The part where the one commenter jumped in with a bunch of thoughts and feelings that concluded with “and I guess that’s why another woman stole my husband” was a gem, though, as was her continued incoherence throughout the thread.
Imagine this guy’s okcupid profile!
Aaaahahaha <—- the noise I made in my head because I can’t laugh out loud in this office. But yes.
We don’t have to! He kindly included it halfway through his letter!
“I have my life together. I’ve got a great part-time job to cover costs, university and my budget balances at the end of the day. I pursue hobbies such as photography, programming, hiking, and cooking. I’m on great terms with my family. I know myself well and what I want in a companion.”
He’s either going to end up as a reasonable person who is highly, highly embarrassed by all this, or absolutely terrible. Tbh, I’m erring towards he’ll grow out of it and be OK. Even though he’s horrifically condescending about this girl (who sounds alright to me – I’d have been way, way too nervous to ask someone out like that when I was 19), he’s also trying to be nice to her (that weird “she’s wonderful and brave” bit).
That was a difficult one to enjoy, because the LW is laboring under so many misapprehensions, and I painfully remember laboring under a few similar ones myself. For one, he seems to believe that dating is a life-or-quasi-death situation–as if, to date someone, you have to envision your whole future together! But also, he seems to think that you can’t just break it off with anyone after one date or two without grave and ironclad reasons; “I’m not feeling it” is apparently not a reason. Also, I had a very strong suspicion that another question, “how can I make her more like the person I want as the female lead,” was lurking under the purported question of how to break the news to her gently.
But like–I can’t really blame the LW for those misapprehensions, because he is not pulling them out of thin air. Those narratives about romance exist. I’ve had them when I was young and dumb, too. My young and dumb partners had them, which was scary, because a man who believes you need ironclad reasons to break up is a terrifying man to break up with.
So mostly that letter just made me feel sad.
Yesterday I overheard a coworker talking about how Syrian refugees in Europe are raping white women 24/7 but the media is not reporting on this for whatever vague conspiracy theory reasons her dusty, paranoid, racist brain cooked up. Then she denounced Harper as being “not a true Conservative, more like a Communist” but alleged that Regulation Hottie PM Justin Trudeau might turn out to be even worse because he plans to establish Sharia law in Canada. “He gets it from his mother,” she said knowingly. I guess in the time that Margaret Trudeau was out of the spotlight, she went from Flower Child to Secret Jihadist?
Also, a conversation I was unfortunate enough to be involved in:
“Hi, this is Jane from the Winnipeg office. Are you the one who sent me that document?”
“…. what document?”
“The document on [topic].”
“No, that definitely wasn’t me.”
“Okay, see, the thing is, the document was supposed to be scanned double-sided but it wasn’t so I’m missing half the contents.”
“Jane, I have no idea what document you’re talking about and I’m not the one who scanned it or sent it to you, so I can’t really help you here.”
“Well, what should I do?”
“… contact the person who emailed it to you in the first place?”
“I don’t know who emailed it to me.”
“…. how can you…”
“I deleted the original email.”
“Okay, well, like I said, I have no idea what any of this is about and I’m not involved in any way, so…”
(long pause while I try to decide if it would be too rude to just hang up on her)
“I know! I’ll check my Deleted folder! Thanks bye!” *click*
I wonder how some of these people manage to even get their shoes on in the morning.
“
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I encountered someone who was concerned about “all the diseases those people would be bringing in.” Uh, considering you hang around voluntarily with a woman who doesn’t vaccinate her kids, you’re probably safer around the refugees.
There’s also a really ugly strain of “I just don’t want them NEAR ME” which is making me crazy.
Ugh whyyy won’t that particular racist meme just diiieee??? Every time it’s cut down it reappears, Hydra-like, with a new awful head.
Ouuuuuch. Your coworkers are certainly something else.
For a much more heartening attitude towards refugees, at least we have Nenshi? http://www.macleans.ca/politics/ottawa/interview-…
I want to talk about that work conversation, because I have the same question as you. I literally do not understand how some people manage to navigate life in a society without me constantly telling them what to do.
Tangentially related: I work for a government agency that regulates certain industries. We get an alarming number of calls from people who want to start their own business in those industries but don’t have the slightest clue about said industries or about running a business and expect us to provide step-by-step instructions and assistance. It’s like calling a major publishing house and saying, “I just decided I’m going to become a successful author. What desktop keyboard would you recommend I buy? And also, can you teach me the alphabet?”
And probably the same people complain about government waste…
Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android
I talked to a lady once on the phone who gave me an email address with a space in it. I asked if she meant an underscore instead but no, she was very insistent that it was a space.
I sent the email with an underscore and it went through just fine.
Think of all of the people (including Winterbymorning’s colleague, probably) who won’t make that instinctive space=underscore translation and be completely stumped when the message won’t go through, though.
When my parents visited me a few years ago they had someone tell them that the Hindus and Muslims were taking over the city administration to block off a section of the city for just them to live in. Because, you know, Hindus and Muslims are exactly the same thing.
But my employer doesn’t even HAVE a Winnipeg office!
It’s like you’ve slipped into another dimension where sitcoms are real. Like, you found Narnia, but it’s The Office.
When I was unemployed, I was so frustrated that people like this were allowed to have jobs while I didn’t. I’m mostly sane and can use email! Just hire meeeeeee
I’m frustrated that these people have stable permanent jobs while I’m on contract and constantly run the risk of not having it renewed! Not that I would want to stay here longer than absolutely necessary, but still.
I understand nothing about that Q&A video. Is there some context that I’m lacking? (I mean, probably yes, this seems like one of those things where I’m lacking the social context to get where she’s coming from, but also there might be some meme or internet context?)
(I don’t really get it either)
(same here)
(Third) All I got from it is she doesn’t like Minions, which, yeah, legitimate position – but is that the funny part? Also did you guys experience random blasts of music every now and then?
YES. The music was really loud! Was I supposed to recognise that music? Because I did not.
It’s not random! You just have to pay attention to the context. The first time the music interrupts her is while she’s talking about her fears, saying earnestly that besides minions her worst fear is fear itself, i.e. she gives us one incredibly childish fear and that annoying movie wisdom that’s supposed to sound deep. She goes on and on and on about fear itself, looking really thoughtful, while the music blasts. The second time is when someone asks her about a boy she likes and she starts to explain at length why he’s so great.
It’s a subtle, self-aware comment on the stereotypes of thirteen year old girls. If you really believe that young girls are this earnestly childish, unaware, self-absorbed and stereotypical, you won’t get the joke. The joke is that she’s pranking her audience. She actually wrote the script and added in the music herself, saying “I’m way ahead of you”. Teenage girls would love this because they’re in on the joke, and good-natured adults will love it because they enjoy being playfully teased.
(I haven’t even watched it because I know I will not get it. Young people and youtube are things I do not understand.)
I feel it’s something that girl is going to be very very embarrassed about in two years. Maybe I’m missing the humour in it, but I stopped watching one minute in and went to the comments hoping they’d enlighten me.
the music is on purpose!
SHE IS A YOUNG WIZARD AND I HAVE WATCHED IT FIVE TIMES, she is intentionally doing a Q&A “”””badly””””
I picked up it was all intentional after the second question, it’s really funny but also reaaally subtle.
She’s a WEIRDO, I only want a to have a child if the child is just like this tween girl weirdo
Co-signed.
Danger: the experience of parenting a tween girl weirdo is vastly different from the experiences of being or knowing a tween girl weirdo. Very rewarding most days, but not something to be undertaken lightly!
Did you check her channel she has the commitment 2 form of any seven mortals put together.
So the lesson here is “never question a wizard, even if you’ve no clue what s/he’s doing”? Got it.
Yeah, the first music cue is when I knew without a doubt that this video was
A. performing some deceptively structured hilarity
B. that I Do Not Get
and I’m pretty delighted to have it brought to my attention, even if I’m never going to be part of the target audience (or even, like, UNDERSTAND IT).
No, this is going to be her origin story. The entire joke is that she ISN’T cluelessly earnest. She set us up. It’s a comedy skit, not a soulful teenage navel-gazing session. I mean, that autistic/artistic bit is GENIUS. Only someone who got fooled by her set-up would ask that question, and by responding to it in character she’s pranking them AGAIN.
She’s clearly on a higher humour level than me.
I went full Perd Hapley on this video insofar as I don’t know what’s going on here, but it had the cadence of a joke.
I think she does the deadpan clueless thing flawlessly! She’s amazing.
I mean, I could tell she was doing it on purpose (because of how animated she got when she was like, just kidding! My body’s perfect) but I couldn’t grok to what purpose. To me, all YouTube Q&As sound like this.
She’s a baby genius! The first question is some dickbag asking if she’s autistic, which just looking through some other comments on her videos looks like something she gets “asked innocently” a lot and she says she used to be artistic in third grade or something but everyone got better than her so not anymore.
I also have no idea, but the trailer for her channel is amazing (?)
If anyone else is in need of a heartwarming story about the reunion of a Syrian refugee family who thought they lost each other in Greece, here you are: http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-11-24/an-asylum-s… (Did I cry at my desk while watching the video at work? Um, yes. Absolutely.)
Does the Q&A video sound get pummeled into the background by a weird Muzak acoustic guitar solo at about 1 minute in for anyone else? No? Or maybe that’s the joke? Kids these days.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who heard that. I was searching through all my tabs to see if some rogue autoplay video had started going.
Me too!
THAT IS THE JOKE
THANKS FOR ENABLING A 13 YEAR OLD TO TROLL YOUR LOYAL READERS MALLORY
ps I thought jokes were supposed to be funny I guess I’m officially too old for the internet now.
oh dash I’m sorry I thought you would love it because I loved it! Give it another try, I promise you are not too old, she is just assertively weird and you have to let that wash over you!
Oh I was just being crotchety, I appreciate assertive weirdness once I realize what’s happening.
Anyone else see the first question from yesterday’s AAM? Where the dude wrote to ask about his wife working with her male boss and going to lunch with him and possibly trying on jeans in his vicinity?
ETA ugh sorry I can’t html today
Yes! I just…why wouldn’t you talk to your wife before writing an advice column? Why?
It also really struck me as strange that he just sort of glossed over the fact that a “friend” is sending photos of his wife out to lunch with her boss?? (Which is a normal thing people do, especially in a very very small office like that.) Like I sort of think the friend is doing it at the husband’s request?? He was so nonchalant about that part, whereas I would have been really weirded out if a friend tattled like that about a perfectly normal thing.
Right? And apparently the OP posted an update last night…which definitely throws things into a new perspective.
I did not see that!
0.0 dude needs to not be writing to AAM about this one.
I didn’t get that far in the comments yesterday because my eyes hurt from rolling them so hard at the pearl-clutching over jeans being SEXY.
I just saw it this morning! Given all that, I’m not sure why he thought he needed a “business perspective” on the issue.
Oh wow. Man, I hope I’m never in a relationship where I go on the internet to anonymously list these things to strangers instead of talking to my partner (or friends).
Also, I want to fire voyager1 into the sun.
“I’m a man and if my wife…”
“Son? Just….don’t.”
THANK YOU!
Not just one friend, two! Or one friend who’s watching his wife suspiciously often. The lunch and the jeans were both reported to him.
Right!? I’m suspicious that this “friend” is in fact a PI.
Hey, my P.I. is one of my best friends, so there. It can be both.
Ugh, yeah. Usually AAM commenters are pretty readable, but all the people in the comments like “she was trying on JEANS? the HARLOT. the whole point of JEANS is BUTTS” and not immediately getting hammerbanned…
not to mention all the people throwing around the term “gaslighting” at the commenters who said getting lunch and going shopping were not ironclad instances of cheating. Saying “you don’t know what your weird creepy friend saw, so maybe talk to your wife” is not putting OP’s experiences into doubt, it’s just being reasonable.
ANYWAYS, what a cluster!
I always thought the whole part of jeans was that they’re pants that can often be comfortable workwear, but only if you TRY THEM ON.
Which might happen in front of whomever you’re shopping with.
I’m so hung up on “jeans = sexy” and it doesn’t help that a lot of the people saying that are like “well yes jeans are practical pants for men but on women they are basically lingerie”
I have no idea what I’d wear to work if not jeans. I work in a male-dominated industry and feel self conscious wearing anything but pants, and my company culture is super casual, so I wear jeans to work 4/5 days of the week, pretty much. What am I supposed to wear now that I know my jeans are an indicator of heterosexual seduction? a cloud obscuring my lower half? a toilet-paper mummy costume? fins?
Nope, all of those options are too sexy*, Sausage.
The only answer is never to leave the house, of course.
*for a woman, obviously. Men, on the other hand, can wear these options and anything else, because they serve other primary purposes besides sex.
That was so odd! I thought the first commenter who was all JEANS TOO SEXAY was just a one-off, but then a bunch more people chimed in agreeing and I had to nope out of there.
….Rich tapestry, I guess?
Rich tapestry of internalized misogyny, right there.
This is why women cannot wear pants, ok, because if they do, romance novel heroes from vaguely the Regency Era cannot stop looking at their butts!
This piece on how Woodrow Wilson destroyed the career of a postal worker when he segregated the civil service is well worth reading. Shows how the decisions made in Wilson’s administration have ramifications to today, as well as why Wilson was awful on this even for his time period.
He was seriously so much the woooorst.
I don’t know if any of you all are aware of what’s happening in Chicago right now, but activists are being arrested for peacefully, strategically protesting the murder of Laquan McDonald. There is a horrifying video circulating that I haven’t and will not watch, but this unarmed 17 year old child was shot 16 times, and it took 400 days to charge his murderer (a police officer). Malcolm London (who recently spoke before the UN with the group We Charge Genocide) was among those arrested last night, and he is being charged with felony assault which is just so fucking ludicrous I’m beside myself. Please consider donating to the bond fund.
https://chicagobond.org/stand_with_laquan/index.h…
Here’s an article about our piece of shit DA: http://m.dailykos.com/stories/2015/11/24/1453982/…
Here’s some more about Malcolm: http://wechargegenocide.org/wcg-un-delegation-pro…
Thank you for sharing the bond fund! I’ve been following the latest news re. the #BLM marches for Laquan McDonald on Twitter and I appreciate seeing this link.
Gosh I can’t find who made this point first, but it’s such profound hypocrisy for the Mayor and Supt. McCarthy to on one hand complain about low murder-conviction rates because witnesses won’t cooperate with police, while on the other hand so vigorously attempt to conceal evidence of this shooting.
Thank you for posting the bond link! The situation is unreal here. I am so angry I can’t even speak about it
Does anyone want to discuss the latest Walking Dead episode? I have thoughts.
Well, if invited to fling links, I’m going to take that as an invitation to self-link.
So, I’ve been keeping a food culture blog for a number of years now. Lately. while I’m struggling to balance work and dissertating, it’s mostly just link roundups, although if you dig food culture you might dig those. But now and then I managed to cobble together a post from my reading. Most recently, I learned that German philosopher Immanuel Kant liked to throw dinner parties. He also had numerous opinions about how many people to invite and what sorts of topics were appropriate, so if you’d like to throw a Kantian banquet, now you know how.
Thanks for linking, your blog is fascinating! I have so many things to read now, my actual study is getting moved further and further down the list…
Haha yes this happens to me all the time too. Kant’s dinner party has nothing to do with my studies, I don’t know how he showed up in my research!
Thank you for the kind words!
Good news: I got a job! After almost six months of being unemployed post-graduation! And it pays decently! And it’s in my hometown area, which has a super low cost of living!
Bad news: I have to move next week and leave my husband and one of our kitties behind. 🙁 He’s trying to finish a language requirement for his master’s degree, and he has to stay in Denver to do that. He’s pretty sure he can finish by the end of January, so we won’t be apart for more than two months, but still.
You can do it! [insert motivational cat picture here]
I can only imagine how crappy it is to be apart from your husband, and cat, but I think the relief of not being unemployed will be able to tide you over for the two months. You’d think it gets old, but every so often I unwittingly flash back to my post-college unemployed days and the relief at not being in that place in my life anymore washes over me anew.
Plus your mental energy will be diverted by setting up your new place and getting settled in your new position. The time will go by faster than you think.
Thank you for your kind words!
I’m really excited about this job, and I’m going to miss my husband and the cat staying behind with him, but I am so, SO glad to be employed. This is my first full-time job ever (went straight from undergrad to my master’s and only ever had part-time jobs), and I am very excited to have financial independence from our parents, who were more than generous during our 6 years in school. I got approved for our new apartment by myself with my own credit score and my own salary, which was really cool and new for me! My husband and I both know this is a necessary step to leave the nest once and for all.
I learned yesterday that many people have never heard of buttermilk pie! It’s so good and if you are in the sad camp of people who have never had it, I highly recommend giving it a try. My mom’s recipe:
2 sticks margarine (melted) 1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup buttermilk 1/2 cup flour
6 eggs 3 3/4 cups sugar
pinch salt
Mix above ingredients and bake in unbaked pie shell at 325 degrees for one hour.
This recipe makes two 9-10 inch pies.
Crust (or you can buy the pre-made crust!)
1 3/4 – 2 cups flour
2/3 cup shortening
pinch salt
Water to mix
I have to try this. It sounds like it would be great for little tartlets too.
you are doing god’s work here. This pie reminds me of what a creme brulee pie would taste like.
Does the tip jar track which articles we’re tipping on?
Oh, I hope it does! I was compelled to tip the republished Hank and Smitty post because of painful relevance…
My mother just found out that some of her fellow Catholic friends don’t believe in the Big Bang theory or evolution and have taught their children to do the same.
Poor thing. I’ve never seen her jaw drop so quickly.
Do they realize the Catholic Church itself officially supports the teaching of both those things?
I should hope they do now after the talking to she gave them.
I like your mother.
You don’t come between that woman and her doctrine. And science. Especially not when she’s got the book from the Vatican observatory to prove it.
When did that happen? Considering how they only just pardoned Galileo in…1992…
Well a priest (Georges Lemaître) came up with the Big Bang so they’ve always been pretty hip to that. Don’t know when evolution became cool, but I’m assuming it was around the same time. I went to a Catholic school in the early nineties and was taught it and so was my mother in the seventies/eighties. Even my grandmother learned it at a Catholic women’s college in the early sixties.
Good to know!
OMG this child is the Best.
Here’s her message to the Haters! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7O6denvDqQ
& Here she is: fixing her iphone! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Emr1-4FXrqc
Great advice on how to Flirt: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybHhzJZfPA0. OMGahahahashhhFSJscDkjhs
I would never ever have continued watching these were it not for you, but that how to Flirt is GOLD. Gracias.
HEY BABY HOW BOUT YOU SLITHER INTO MY EARS AND MAKE A NEST
SHE IS A GENIUS.
I love her! The flirting one is DELIGHTFUL. I wish her every good thing in life.
I’m relatively inexperienced with YouTube stars, and I’m blown away by how teenagers are making film art that’s entirely their own style and creativity. And yet I also fear for them — especially the teenage girls — because I KNOW the volume of horrible harassment directed their way. I want to protect them! I want to form a vigilante group that takes it on themselves to filter out the abuse so they never even see it.
I am screeeeeaamiiing laughing at How To Flirt. Bless this child.
Thank you! I Did Not Get the Q&A but I watched the first of your links and then got sucked into a hole (which got bigger and bigger) of Prupinia. Everything about her love for Donald Trump is my favorite thing.
Now I adore her, she is my favorite thing on the internet since I discovered Darth Jar Jar (which is my Ronbledore).
Oh my god these are amazing. Have you seen the “I dated a member of ISIS” one? If not, please watch IMMEDIATELY: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rn9E_0MAxlI
Ok, since any link goes … I just stumbled across this acapella (my favorite style) cover of Wuthering Heights (my favorite song): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBVq8FtsYyI The lead singer is no Kate Bush, but what mere mortal is, and yet their interpretation really nails how chilling that song can be. Anyway, that’s my random link for the day.
The performance is really good, but what makes this video is the intense level of concentration on the audience members’ faces.
This is because it was part of a competition, a series on BBC called “The Naked Choir”. It was a great series and I can tell you who won if you don’t mind spoilers. (Or I might forget that I posted that and leave you hanging. Or you already know all of this as I didn’t watch secondursula’s clip, having already heard it on the show, so I don’t know how much extra info is on it. Anyway these dudes were given Wuthering Heights to work on because it would stretch them away from there very-musically-competant-and-a-bit-jokey schtick towards something more exposing and emotional.) (I really should get on with my work.)
I’m a big fan of the Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain’s version of “Wuthering Heights.”
Their singing style is SO FAMILIAR. I’m 99% sure they’re the same dudes who did the beat-boxing for Bjork on Medulla.
YES! I became obsessed with this girl when I stumbled across this video a few months ago: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZctZRm0_chQ
I had to register to say this because no one I’ve shared her videos with has responded well.
I laughed FOREVER at “I’m not good with planets.”
I have caved to my desire to Not Cause Trouble* and am going to my parents’ house overnight before Thanksgiving instead of staying home as I would prefer. Good vibes for minimal toxicity and maximum calm are appreciated.
*Yes, I should do whatever the hell I want, but there are Extenuating Factors already considered, so I’m going despite my qualms.
Whatever you think is going to be the best way to handle thanksgiving is the best way to handle thanksgiving for you, even if that means doing something you don’t want to do! Good vibes for maximum calm- I’m guessing you’ve probably had a super tough couple weeks and if you nee to “go to bed early” and “sleep late” that’s totally legit.
“Should” is such a dangerous word. Other people don’t get to tell you how you manage your parental relationship.
It took a lot of work to get this off of Facebook, because I am an Old, but I feel like no group of humans will appreciate this more: https://media.giphy.com/media/xTiTnBtzCunsN2dUkM/…
this is legit amazing
bad news: one of my coworkers is being bullied by someone from another department, someone she must work one-on-one with.
good news: our manager is referring to it as “bullying” and is taking it all the way up the chain of command until someone agrees with her and puts a fucking stop to it.
as someone who was bullied out of their last job, i cannot make heart eyes big enough for my manager. she is one of the good ones <3
I just watched the video and I LOVE HER AND WHOLEHEARTEDLY APPROVE. Admittedly, it helped to read the comments here first, so I had an idea of what to expect. But yeah, she has some crazy-dry wit and subtlety, and I love her voice and intonations and how she handles the questions. LOVE.
Also, this is my first Thanksgiving with family in four years (the first since I became an only child, actually), and I’m really happy about getting to be with them this time! It’s why I moved from Texas to Oregon, after all. (Note: this is my self-appointed family of mother and step-father, the good ones.)
Okay that Q&A vid is hilarious (kinda reminds me of Tim and Eric-esque humor) and now I’ve been falling down a rabbit hole for the last hour, watching that girl’s videos instead of finishing an essay. THANKS MALLORY
The Toast – my dad just sent me this WWII era propaganda film called WOMEN OF STEEL and it is amazing: https://catalog.archives.gov/id/38779?q=*:*
Lots of interesting stuff in the (highly rehearsed) interviews – and a lot of emphasis on women working for the duration and then giving their jobs back.
“How about after the war? Are you going to keep working?” “Oh, I should say not. When my husband comes back, I’m going to be busy at home.” “Good for you!”
“Oh, this job belongs to some soldier. And when he comes back, he can have it!”
“Well, that’s swell.”
Speaking of WWII era things, did anyone else read this? http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2015/…
So, once upon a time there was federally subsidized childcare. Although really sad that it only met 10% of the need. I just asked my grandmother (who turned 100 this year!) about it and she said it was great when she was working in a munitions factory and it going away was part of the reason she stopped working. So much for the propaganda video, she didn’t give her job back. Although I guess the patriarchy ultimately triumphed since she gave it up eventually.
have you seen her “out of character video” with the popcorn and paula deen? it is just so!!!!!! brilliant. she can’t be thirteen years old, she’s so much smarter than I could ever be.
That Q&A is really funny! I have no idea who that girl but I love how deadpan this Q&A is. The best part was the J/K I’M PERFECT.
I'm studying the bones of the skull so, with a bit of reaching, I think I can justify reading about eating as part of my study…
These kids scare the shit out of me.
I also have no idea, but the trailer for her channel is amazing (?)