Carmella is a work of art.
I have been off social media for about 48 hours, and I’m already like:
…MOSTLY because I want to Tweet excitedly about THIS FUCKIN’ AWESOME JAYA MANEUVER WE PULLED.
No, it’s good, I am leaving my house and having LUNCH with human people while sitting firmly upright in chairs and reading books in garrets like a LM Montgomery heroine and it’s very good for me. All is goodness. Don’t miss Twitter at all. Sure you’re not having fun there without me. Are you talking about me? Do you miss me?
Rahm needs to go, too. Between this and Homan Square and [eighty different documented instances of state-sponsored police violence], the people of Chicago deserve so much better.
the CEO profile is OFF THE HOOK
Jasmine Guillory, a true friend, emailed me the Vulture story about Channing, because she knows I did not see it on Twitter, and obviously the story only makes me like Channing more! Does Pettyfer really think this reflects WELL on himself?
Because Hollywood’s such a small bubble, after filming, Pettyfer ended up renting an apartment in New York through Tatum’s friend. He left after four months due to an allergic reaction, but says he forgot to pay rent when his cousin died unexpectedly. That’s when he felt the wrath of Tatum: “I all of a sudden got a very negative email from Channing, rightfully so, saying, ‘Don’t fuck my friends. You owe money. Pay the fucking money. Don’t be a clown,’” probably in all caps. Pettyfer didn’t take it well and, out of spite, refused to pay the rent: “By the end of it, I just basically said, ‘Fuck them. What is money when life is so much more?’ and, ‘I’m not dealing with this, and I’m not paying.’”
You can’t go around stiffing Channing’s friends and then being SELF-RIGHTEOUS about it! He is a loyal dog of a man!
On the history of “Fifty Nifty United States”:
I learned “Fifty Nifty United States” in my fifth-grade music class in Austin, Texas. around 1997. Eighteen years later, I can barely remember what happened during the Battle of Lexington and Concord, or which constitutional amendment says what, but I can still sing the name of every state without having to think about it. The same is true for most other adults I’ve talked to who learned “Fifty Nifty United States” in childhood. And this appears to be a truly national phenomenon: I have heard from people who learned the song from sea to shining sea, in California, Connecticut, Hawaii, Illinois, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, Massachusetts, and Virginia. (No doubt it’s been taught in many of the other 37 nifty states as well.) Lin-Manuel Miranda, the MacArthur genius and writer and star of the singularly acclaimed Broadway musical Hamilton, called it “my favorite song from elementary-school chorus” before a performance in September (and then sang the state roll call flawlessly).
On Chicago’s first LGBT retirement center (if you want to donate, or live in the area and want to hang with some old queer people, which, I MEAN, obviously you do, you can get more info here):
Before moving to Town Hall, she lived only a few miles north in the Uptown neighborhood in a single-room occupancy (SRO) building where she says she felt unsafe. “Living at an SRO is tricky for anyone,” Skye said. “But if you’re trans-queer … it’s real tricky.”
Skye remembers her old building as “cold” and “dark”, recalling the rude remarks about her gender presentation that were thrown at her. Town Hall, in contrast, is flooded with natural light – and she refers to the residents as her “rainbow family”.
“If I was attacked here, people would come to my aid,” Skye said, her eyes growing teary.
Accidental discrimination, and when access needs are in conflict:
A year or so ago, the National Council on Disability held an event in Atlanta on the school-to-prison pipeline and disability issues, focused on the issues impacting minority students of color with disabilities. The event was well attended and featured a wide variety of interesting and informative discussion on an issue that too often goes overlooked.
There was just one problem: the sound system was slowly killing me.
I don’t know if it was crappy microphones, feedback on the speakers, or demonic possession of the venue but every other person who spoke was accompanied by the dulcet tones of a horrific high-pitched screech. To make matters worse, what was head-splitting agony for me was only a mild annoyance to the other, almost exclusively non-autistic, people in the room. After an hour of the administrative staff trying and failing to fix the feedback, I asked if we might consider turning off the microphones altogether.
“We can’t – the CART transcription is being done remotely, and if we turn off the microphones the Deaf and hard of hearing Council Members and attendees won’t be able to follow the event.”
Meeting my access needs would result in a lack of access for someone else.
Speaking of accommodation, this Ask a Manager update (and the original post) beautifully demonstrates just how badly a company can cock up their responsibilities to an employee.
The time Europe dumped a lot of vaccine-laced chicken heads to take out rabid foxes:
In 17 October, 1978, Steck deployed the baits in a real field trial—the first of its kind. At the time, the rabies epidemic was spreading along the east shore of Lake Geneva, so Steck’s team created a grisly firebreak of 4,050 chicken heads.
The heads also contained a chemical marker—tetracycline—that could later be found in the teeth and bones of foxes that were shot by hunters. When it became clear that the foxes were actually taking the bait, the initiative garnered more interest, money, and effort. The team dispersed more baited heads, mostly by flinging them onto roadsides and paths. For more remote areas, they used helicopters. From 1979 to 1984, chicken heads would rain down on the countryside.
A friend of mine was talking about this Marge Piercy poem, and Marge Piercy always reminds me of my mom’s bookshelf in the 1980s, and there’s nothing wrong with that, the woman has A+++ bookshelves.
How my college friend (and excellent writer) Maggie Shipstead tweeted one thing and set off an international manhunt:
I hadn’t hashtagged Taylor, but I also hadn’t taken into account the people who continuously scour Twitter for her name and certainly not the small subset of that group who are hoping against hope she will someday be mentioned in the same sentence as New Zealand. When I failed to respond (being on an airplane and all) they began to confer among themselves, crowdsourcing the Taylorverse to see if anyone knew anything about where she was.
When you get a question in Learned League and your opponent doesn’t know you’re Canadian and you KNOW he’s assigning you at least two points for a correct answer:
Sansa comes on Saturday morning. She is already my best friend. I think about her during my every waking minute. I have a little harness so she can ride safely in the car. I have bowls. I have food. I have safe chew toys. I have a puppy playpen for each floor of my house so that she or my son can gambol in safety when I need to use the bathroom or make a risotto. I have a drag leash for training, and a normal leash. I have a vet to give her all the vaccines and spay her (PARVO IS A NIGHTMARE DO NOT FUCK WITH PARVO.) I have numerous books about puppies. I have researched and selected a dog trainer to work with; he is a large bald man who reminds me of Hank from Breaking Bad. I have imported my mother from Canada to watch my old, now-tiresome human children for the first two weeks of Sansa’s time with us. I have told the cat.
(breathes deeply)
Her butt is so fluffinz.
EXCUSE YOU, do some FUCKING GOOGLING, the Schuyler sisters TRANSCEND AND DEFEAT WHITENESS, also you obviously mean Eliza and she is a proud Asian-American woman, which is a quotation from a John Mulaney bit:
I never gave a fuck about Alex Pettyfer and after that “What is money when life is so much more?” bullshit, I’m glad Channing kicked his ass to the curb
#TeamChanning
(nicole just imagine that the puppy in that gif is sansa also we are all v v v excited for the onslaught of puppy pics in the link roundup and possibly separate posts dedicated to her floofiness)
Alex PETTYfer indeed
Also, isn’t that pretty much the storyline of the first Magic Mike? Pettyfer does some stupid shit that ends up costing Channing big and never pays him back?
Yes. Yes, it is. Which is one reason why I hated that character and never wanted to see him again. I didn’t even think to wonder why Pettyfer was out, I just assumed that someone had realized that the movie would be way better without him. I’m glad to know that I have Channing to thank for the welcome absence of The Kid, and I have no sympathy at all for Pettyfer. Seriously, dude, pay your rent. As someone who has had a cousin die suddenly and tragically, I may have acted weird as fuck in the aftermath of it, but I never used it as an excuse to steal from people, nor would I have been remotely justified in doing so. So fuck you, Alex Pettyfer, for using your dead cousin as an excuse for shitty, shitty behavior.
It’s also such a shitty position to put someone in – no one wants to ask the guy who just lost a friend or family member to pay their damn rent, but it’s not like mortgages or a landlord’s other bills go away just because of someone else’s tragedy. To try to throw it in their face afterward like they’re being an asshole for expecting you to stick to the contract and pay their bills is such a spoiled, selfish position to take.
My dislike for Pettyfer is real. I hated his character in MM, and was so happy he did not return. What an ass.
OMG that Ask A Manager update was insane. So is the Dan Price thing. And Rahm. Basically everything is nuts today.
I just want to hug that woman. It sounds like she handled a very difficult situation with a lot of courage and grace. I’m so glad she is OUT of there.
Yeah, I sympathized with the dog owners in the original post, but after the update? ONE MILLION NOPES.
I really wonder if maybe people just didn’t fully appreciate how serious/severe her allergies are.
I knew that people could have severe allergic reactions to medications and foods, but it never really occurred to me that that might be true for environmental allergens like pet dander. I can see how some of the dog owners might have thought “just take some claritin and suck it up!”, but that wasn’t really an option, nor is it a particularly compassionate response.
The crazy thing to me is that there had been a flea infestation and it didn’t affect the dog policy! Also, c’mon employers, that should be a thing that you mention – not necessarily the fleas, but the fact that there are dogs in the office. That is not a typical thing in a work environment, you need to let people know (even if you are advertising it as a perk!).
The fleas got to me, too! Like, WHAT?! That is like, eighteen levels of unacceptable. FLEAS. I itch just thinking about it.
And yeah, I have environmental allergies (trees/ragweed and also cats) that are not as severe as the LW’s, but you know, even if hers were less severe and a Claritin could take care of it? That shit adds up, and it would be especially insulting to shell out for the meds when dogs are a fairly avoidable allergy trigger. Would her company have paid for it? (Probably not, lbr.)
And the pee on the carpet! Who lets their dog pee on the carpet without cleaning it up AT THEIR WORKPLACE?
Seconding this stuff adding up. I take antihistamines every day because I’m varying levels of allergic to a bunch of environmental stuff, so even though I’m taking medication doesn’t mean I can tolerate extra allergins!
The number of dogs would compound things, too. I’m mildly allergic to cats, but I can handle our two at home easily. Dealing with a houseful of 13, though, has in the past proved to be… horrible.
I definitely couldn’t function mentally at work on constant antihistamines (at least the “may cause drowsiness” variety)– they knock me right out, and I’d be a zombie.
“Benedryl: Because you can’t sneeze if you’re facedown asleep.”
Hahaha my seasonal allergies kicked up fairly early in my life (4th gradeish.) So one day in 7th grade I took a Benadryl before school, thinking, I am so on top of everything, I am so grown up, I can Take My Own Medicines and Take Care Of Myself!
…and I promptly FELL ASLEEP in my favorite class (English/Reading). Like, full-on SLEEP, not the typical “dozing in class” kind of sleep. Luckily my teacher loved me (see above re: favorite class) and was just concerned that I didn’t seem to be feeling well.
I don’t take Benadryl anymore, haha.
Yeah–I have a similar allergy to cats, which means that I need to have been taking a certain asthma medication for at least two weeks before I can be around them without gasping for breath. You would not believe how many people have not told me that they have cats, (after I specifically asked them!) because they thought I wouldn’t come to their party or whatever if I knew, and “besides, I put them in another room!” I give this woman a lot of cred for sticking around as long as she did, because if my workspace were filled with cats I would have to book it ASAP.
p.s. I actually love cats though 🙁
Yes! I am a long-suffering dog lover, am allergic to dogs (not deathly allergic, but I did once for sneeze for an hour straight after hugging a very dirty St Bernard and it was 100% worth it), I load up on Flonase and Zyrtec when I hang out at boyfriend’s house), and indeed sometimes bring boyfriend’s perfectly trained dog to my semi-pet-friendly office, but the idea of working in an office with peeing and pooping and flea-ridden dogs sounds like an absolute nightmare. When we hire new people, we make it clear that there are sometimes dogs in the building (we sell it as a feature of working here, but it serves as a warning as well), and the one guy who is deathly allergic to everything gets his own quarantined office with a door and an air purifier even though there are only dogs in the building a few times a month. It’s possible! But it sounds like her office needed to bond over a common enemy and she got caught in the cross-fired. Lucky for her she found a better situation so quickly!
I encourage everyone to read the original post as well and all 1000+ comments if they have nothing better to do today and really want an eye into But It’s Not Faaaair because WOW. Wow.
I love how everyone on the pro-dog side sees the options as “take my dog to work” or “pay $5,000/year for doggie daycare.” Like dogs haven’t managed for eons without doggie daycare? Sheesh.
I’ll freely admit that I have two cats and zero dogs, but the insistence that the only two options are taking your dog to work or dog day care is very very strange to me.
Some dogs do have separation anxiety and/or the owners that live in situations where if they can’t get home for lunch and have 8 hours of work + an hour or more of commute time. That’s a loooong time for a dog to be left alone and not let out, especially if we’re talking a dog of an age or breed that has a lot of energy.
I sympathize with the dog owners being bummed at a benefit they counted on going away and am spoiled myself cause I work from home (and personally feel guilty anytime I leave my dog for longer than 6 hours, but that’s me and my stuff), but not to the extent of someone else having trouble breathing. The letter writer’s co-workers behaved very badly with the shaming and ostracizing, but I do think they had reason to be upset (but with the company, not the employee who had the inconvenience to be born with allergies) and the biggest fault lay in the company not disclosing the policy to employees before they hire them.
Like, I GET that some people/dog combos aren’t willing to let their dogs manage on their own for 8-9 hours, but that’s really not your employer’s problem. And like….being able to bring your dog to work is an incredibly rare perk in the US, so acting like it’s something that your employer needs to provide or else they need to pay you more or provide for doggie daycare is not really how most people live their lives.
I totally get that, but part of the calculus in getting a pet (and choosing which pet to get) is determining if your lifestyle affords you the possibility to provide the level of responsibility needed. So if you have an itty bitty apartment in a big city, work at least 8 hours a day, spend an hour of every day commuting and make the decision to get a dog based on the fact that your office offers this benefit – then it gets taken away, suddenly your dog is stuck in a tiny apartment with no yard for 9 hours a day + anytime you have social plans in the evening and you have to try to fit in long walks somewhere in there. Basically, I get people feeling like doggy day care becomes a requirement at that point.
I think it’s clear if you have an employee that can’t breath that you have to make a decision to take away that benefit, but I also very much get why that would be a big deal and hard pill to swallow for the other employees.
I guess my point is that the dog benefit is SO out of the ordinary and most people make it work, so getting that level of furious about it being taken away is wildly out of proportion and seems to betray a serious misunderstanding of how most professional environments operate. They should never have taken into account the dog benefit, since perks at work aren’t for sure things, and since they may want or need to change jobs at some point. That’s why it’s a “perk” and not “benefits” or “salary.”
Yeah, I see the point, and I think it’s ok for the coworkers to be slightly bummed for a brief moment. But . . . just because you get a job that allows you to bring your dog to the office doesn’t mean you’ll have that job for the whole life of the dog. If you are calculating whether to get a dog and counting on the fact that you have a dog-friendly office in deciding to get one, you need to also calculate what will happen if you no longer have that job while you still have the dog.
The idea, from the corporate side of things, is that the employee will have less of an excuse to leave the office if their responsibilities are at the office with them, and thus will work more and longer hours. Diligence, innovation, and efficiency don’t really work that way, but there you have it.
Also, open office cultures are the worst idea since (if you’ll excuse the hyperbole) child labor.
I hear you but also, if that’s the reality…..maybe said hypothetical (I suspect very un-hypothetical) person above shouldn’t get a dog??????????? but that’s a whole other can of worms I probably should NOT have opened. /i’m out
I mean, really the employer and employees handled the situation terribly, but I don’t think acting THAT entitled to that level of care for your dog is normal, I guess is what I’m saying.
This amazes me about the US; the only options are doggy dare care (Which is not a thing anywhere else.) or putting the dog in a cage all day. Doesn’t anyone have gardens? Or just leave the dog in the house?
I’ve only ever heard of kennels or dog sitters when someone is going on holiday (Although I imagine doggy day care is becoming a thing in Dublin, as that place has lost the run of itself again.)
Just want to say — crating your dog isn’t “keeping it in a cage all day.” It’s a perfectly healthy, good for your dog thing to do, if done responsibly.
I’m sure its done responsibly, but the first time I saw it on TV it just squicked me out. I don’t like the idea of an animal not being able to move for a period of time (I’m sure the crates are fitted to the size of dog to give them space to stand up and turn around, but they can’t really stretch out or walk around if they wanted to)
Where I’m from well behaved dogs are always let roam the house when everyone is out, and not so well behaved dogs are locked a dog-proofed room in the house (Like a back hallway, washroom, pantry etc); All other dogs are outdoor dogs who have a dog house or run in the garden, or are just guard dogs who are let roam the property.
I guess you’ll just have to take my word for it that it really, really, really is ok, and safe, and actually good for many dogs that have anxiety issues. I swear.
It’s hard to avoid assuming my dog has the same emotional responses/needs as mine. But she is a dog, not a human. And one bred as a guard dog, at that.
All dogs feel the need to periodically patrol their territory. My little guard dog would spend every waking moment pacing around the house, checking the (to her small self) vast perimeter over and over, on alert, exhausting herself physically and emotionally. Confining a dog to a smaller space when left alone is a kindness. It gives the dog less territory to patrol.
My dogs have always treated their crates like a welcome retreat. We keep the crates open when we are home, and we watch dogs go in and out of them at will, evidence they do not consider it a bad place. They take comfort in their familiar crate, with its blankets for nesting and one or two favorite toys.
And here in the states, leaving a dog in a yard, unsupervised, often results in a stolen dog. Plus, North American weather is often more extreme than in Europe.
If I didn’t crate our one dog and keep the other in one room, our house would get trashed. And leaving them out isn’t a possibility even though we have a yard, as they would probably bark all day and / or cause other sorts of trouble.
No, there are other options! Lots of people leave their dogs inside, or have dog doors to their backyard, or have dog walkers come by in the middle of the day. That’s what was blew my mind about the OP’s coworkers. They acted like there was no other option.
To be fair, while there are other options, those options require significant training to be effective and safe, especially since it sounds like some of these dogs weren’t even house trained.
Well, it depends on the dog (we don’t know that the dogs were acquired only after the owners started working at a dog-friendly office), but generally, yes, that’s probably true. But I wasn’t saying all other options are equal. I’m just addressing selma’s impression that in the US, the *only* other option was doggie daycare.
man, I commented on the original post, something like “LW can’t possibly be the only person in the office who has an issue with the dogs, surely someone else does and just doesn’t feel like they can speak up!”
apparently I was wrong.
That AAM post is something else. “Discriminating against a handicapped dog,” seriously.
As someone who is also allergic to dogs, this AAM letter writer’s situation is like a goddamn nightmare to me. Every time I see some show/article/whatever praising some workplace for allowing employees to have their dogs at work I’m like “well, great, now I can never apply to work THERE.” Because even IF the bosses were all accommodating and found a way to make my environment dog-free, I know everyone else in the office would see me as “the reason we can’t have dogs” or “the dog-hater.”
Right? Sometimes one of the higher ups will bring his dog by for a little while, and his dogs are lovely, but I feel like dirt the rest of the day, and I have to take Benadryl and hope I can function, and that’s if I’m not already having allergy problems. But there’s no way I can say please don’t do that anymore.
I mean, I love dogs, I do. But when I’m at the damn grocery store and someone goes past me with their dog that is clearly not a service animal, I just want to say, “oh, hey, thanks for ruining my day, breathing is highly overrated anyway.” People, please don’t take your pet dog everywhere. Please do not do that.
That poor letter writer.
I love my dog so, so, so much and would love to have her napping under my desk every day at work, but, like, that is obviously not an option because my job has hundreds of other employees and wants them to continue breathing. (Plus, my dog is certainly happier napping at home all day.)
Also, god, why does everyone assume that everyone loves dogs???? My dad is severely anti-dog (not in a hateful way, more like, in a phobic/ was abused by his parents in favor of dogs/ thinks they are really gross way) and people are always SUPER SHOCKED when he isn’t stoked about dogs/doesn’t want them to jump on him/ doesn’t want to pet them. Like, come on people. I love dogs but I know better than to assume that everyone wants Rover to slobber on their shoes.
FRIENDS. My wife has gone back to work, and she has been told that her salary is subject to something called “smoothing” after her maternity leave.
The way that it works is like this: she took five weeks of unpaid, FMLA leave after her paid leave to stay home with the baby. She was not paid for this time, no checks were issued. HOWEVER, because she is a teacher, they treat her weekly salary as a proportion of working days to yearly days, rather than as a fixed amount of days that she might just not get paid for if she doesn’t show up.
This means that her actual salary for the year is lower than just five unpaid weeks short — it’s essentially seven weeks short — so, after going without salary for five weeks (which we expected), now her salary is also going to be garnished for the rest of the year to make up the difference.
IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO KNOW what the problem with charter schools is, it is this: for whatever they say about firing bad teachers or about providing more resources to students, the reality is that their business model is predicated on saving money by stealing from pregnant women.
What. The. Fuck.
Yeah. Also, they didn’t send everyone copies of the contract this year, and the part that explains smoothing isn’t in the contract anyway — it’s in the part that says “for information about pay, consult the school’s by-laws, which can be changed at any time and that will not be considered a breach of contract” — and no one told us about this when she was planning her leave last year so we could have prepared and she could have gone back to work early.
Also she hasn’t had a raise in five years.
…I genuinely have no words for the sheer fucked-upness of that situation
I can’t even with maternity leave policies in the US. Our postdoc was told she’d have to take a medical leave of absence and give up her health insurance if she took maternity leave. So she just sort of…peaced out for a few weeks and worked on writing/data analysis from home during those first five weeks.
I am a law person but not a contract or employment lawyer but this whole thing as you described it seems legally dubious I would encourage you and your wife to talk to an employment lawyer.
That is terrible. I’m sorry. (Everything I read in comments on the Toast about employees’ rights in the US sounds so horrifying. I work a relatively low-level job and I get five weeks’ worth of holidays a year and can take about 26 weeks of sick leave if necessary. We have statutory maternity leave allowances. I realise this is not a particularly helpful comment, but just wanted to share my outrage on your behalf.)
So, with very many Terrible Workplace Practices, I can acknowledge that they’re terrible but also kind of say, “ok, I can see how this would be legal.”
But that? How can that be legal? That’s not… that’s not how unpaid leave works??
So sorry to hear that that’s happened to your family 🙁
I don’t know if it IS legal, but I do know that they’ve done it essentially to everyone that’s taken maternity leave.
I assume it’s because of how they treat salaries, that because the contract doesn’t say, “we’re paying you a bi-weekly rate of X amount of money for 26 pay periods,” but instead says, “we’re paying you X amount of money for Y amount of days, distributed over 26 pay periods” then it may be technically legal.
… you/she should totally right into Ask a Manager, tbh, she’s great at untangling the legalities of things. But it might be good to get access to the contract/by-laws too.
Oh, we’ve got the by-laws; the question is whether the by-laws conflict with Pennsylvania state and FMLA employment regulations, and we are probably skipping the Ask a Manager step and going right to a lawyer.
Oh good plan haha… I mean AMA probably would have just said “talk to a lawyer” anyway so. I hope it somehow turns out it’s not legal because that is ridiculous!
DAMN. Yes. If there was ever a “go right to a lawyer, do not pass go” situation, this is IT.
GOOD. And then get back to us. Cause don’t we crap on teachers enough? Can’t we (as a culture) value their work. SHEESH.
Congrats on the little one.
Teachers, AND WOMEN. Holy shit. Why do we treat reproducing the human race as some outrageous luxury and punish the gender who has to do all the hard work in bearing and birthing children?
Back to how crappily we treat teachers, though — I have an acquaintance who’s a high school teacher and was diagnosed with leukemia this past year. He’s a father of four in his mid-thirties, super terrifying. Fortunately it’s being treated and his survival looks good, but there are some physical effects, plus he’s been in the hospital, so he’s already maxed out his PTO and they know there’ll be more days he’ll inevitably miss, especially when he’s wiped out after treatment days.
And of course the public school rules are to dock him for each day of missed work. Which is really really not helpful for dealing with the hospital bills, not to mention living expenses. Fortunately his wife did a GoFundMe that actually met their goal in 48 hours, they have an awesome supportive community, but GOD, what a fucked-up system we have.
GOOD. I’m so glad to hear that — I’ve been reading this thread, really wishing a lawyer was feasible in your situation even though I know they’re pricey and you have a BABY and all, but I’m really really glad you are pursuing that. I hope you can bring down a righteous hammer of justice on the school.
Jeez, America doesn’t have very strong laws to protect employees, does it?
Anyway: I hereby vow not to complain anymore that I “only” get 23 paid days off a year (which is the mandatory minimum here in the Netherlands)
Yeah, in America the solution to being treated like shit as an employee is “go be an entrepreneur”, I guess.
It’s extra shitty because no one told anybody ten years ago that dozens of schools were going to be shuttered and thousands of teachers were going to be laid off, so a lot of people got degrees in teaching or education and now there’s not enough jobs for them.
Oops. If only going to college somehow also made you precognitive.
Seriously. People occasionally give my SO shit for his student loan debt and his law degree and have to be reminded that the market hadn’t yet crashed when he started law school in 2007 and they had in fact encouraged him to do so because “you’ll pay that off in three years as a lawyer!”
American doesn’t have any laws* to protect employees.
*practically.
There’s the correction I wanted to make.
This is what happens when we don’t have unions.*
*It’s complicated, and unions have issues, too
This is very true! That was an amazing piece of slight of hand propaganda done by corporations that said white collar workers don’t need unions. More like the companies don’t want unions.
Any time people in London bitch about tube drivers going on strike even though they get paid £50k or what ever; I just politely remind them that they could have all of that too, if they didn’t have shitty unions/professional orgs and support conservative governments who destroyed them.
#unionsforlyfe. (She says having still not joined the Chartered Institute of Marketing)
“You don’t need a union! We value our employees and promise to treat you right! It’s just that we don’t want to put that promise in writing, under any circumstances.”
“We value employees and will treat them right, and definitely not for only as long as it takes before joining a union is no longer an option for you.”
Oh man, I have had some fun explaining US vacation policies to my Dutch friends and colleagues. They don’t believe me at first.
I used to work for an American woman in Ireland (It was a full time job, but it was cash in hand, 6 days a week) and she tried to pull this kind of bullshit on me over Christmas (I took Christmas day as my weekly day off, and then also took a 1 1/2 days over new years); it came time to write my cheque for Christmas week and the conversations when like this:
Boss: So its this week minus 1 1/2 days
Me: Excuse me?
Boss: Well you took those extra days over new years, in America you don’t get paid time off.
Me: Well here in Ireland its a public fucking holiday and I’m entitled to 3 days off over Christmas, which I didn’t even take.
She did cave; but she was always trying to tell me that in the US you don’t get holiday time, or public holidays except Christmas and Labour day, when you first start working, and it only gradually increases over the years you work. Mind you, she left the US in the 80s.
Unfortunately she then moved to the ‘socialist utopia’ that is Ireland, where you get paid holiday time because you’re fucking entitled to it.
GOD I bet that was satisfying. She sounds like a dick.
Every time I read about the generous paid vacation and sick time of pretty much every country in Europe I feel genuinely queasy.
Most companies I’ve worked for give you two weeks per year, max, and that’s if you’re working full time. At part time jobs you earn your vacation time based on how many hours you work, which means you have even less.
I am so full of rage for your family! That is fucking disgraceful.
Its shit like this that makes me so sick of all the America media that gets forced on us and the ‘Isn’t America amazing’ bullshit propaganda that they pump out.
No. America is not amazing. You’re not a ‘free’ country when you’re slaves to business. A country that doesn’t have mandatory annual leave and sick pay, never mind maternity/paternity leave, is not a good country. End of fucking story.
Yeah her maternity leave also consists of six weeks of sick time that she had to spend the last ten years saving up, AND they made her take four days of it for a week that the school wasn’t even open, because even though no one was there and the doors were locked, that’s the week the baby was born.
They are giving her that back, but only because we complained — and you know, she’s got a year to year contract, and our state (Pennsylvania) is what’s called a “Right-to-Work” state, and in American politics all laws are named for the opposite of what they are. ‘Right-to-Work” means “Right-to-be-Fired”, basically for any reason, up to and including complaining about having to have to use sick time to cover the week before the school even opened.
Is it possible that her contract won’t be renewed next year? Hahaha, ahhhh, hahhhh.
Yeah her maternity leave also consists of six weeks of sick time that she had to spend the last ten years saving up
WHAT. How is that even legal?
Hey, we’re lucky she was able to do that much; there’s definitely no law that employers have to provide paid maternity leave and, so far as I know, no law requiring employers let you bank unused sick days in the first place.
I don’t get to roll over sick time. 40 hours per year, that’s it. (My employer was much more reasonable about maternity leave though!)
I knew there was no statutory paid maternity leave in the US, but it’s horrifying to see it actually laid out like that and to realise that employers can just not provide it. A large proportion of the workforce is going to have babies at some point! They are likely to need to take some time off! They should be able to do that. (Not just because it makes sense from a business perspective, but because it is the morally non-awful thing to do.)
Same in California for those of us who are employed at a company that makes it impossible for you to get the state-issued family leave. You pay now!
My heart goes out to you and yours. Stateside, it is all too common place, even in workplaces one might consider “progressive,” to mandate use of sick time before any other leave is available. I work for state government in a highly unionized state (NY), and there is still zero paid maternity leave for women in an agency that is 70% female (not even mentioning men).
Over and over, I’ve had to watch my coworkers anguish as they save up every last one of their sick days to use them all as “paid” maternity leave and drop their sick time to zero, and debate going out on unpaid FMLA leave if they don’t have enough time. Either way, they come back with no sick time, because it’s not like you need time off after your child is four weeks old, anyway, right? It’s such an abomination to see the hurt and pain it causes parents and families to navigate the nightmare that is our wage-labor system.
My friend in North Carolina is 7 months pregnant, and had a 5-week coughing illness so terrible that she BURST ALL THE BLOOD VESSELS IN HER EYES and CRACKED A RIB, but she didn’t dare take a single sick day, because she needs every one of them for maternity leave when her baby is born. She sat at her desk with a heating pad wrapped around her aching ribs for weeks. Her 3-year-old son also got sick (fortunately not as badly) and her husband had to use his sick days to care for their son, so he’s not going to have more than a week to be at home with his wife and newborn once the baby comes. And she’s having a C-section, so it’s anyone’s guess how she’ll be getting around after that single week.
Yeah, I was able to take about a week too, because even though I have got a union and actually pretty good leave policies (no paternity leave, unfortunately, but they keep securing us more vacation time instead of cost of living increases), I had to use up most of my time because I had to give my dad a kidney.
The healthcare system of America is not kind to pregnant women, but it is incredibly awful to organ donors.
“in American politics all laws are named for the opposite of what they are. ”
Ahahahaha, so true. Patriot Act. Freedom Act.
“Slaves to business” is it exactly. We talk about entrepreneurship and freelancing and the new economy out our wazoo, but the fact is that the whole system works most smoothly when you are the employee of a large organization, and that’s only because it’s set up for the organization to screw you over most efficiently.
THIS.
That seems…not legal. I’m not an expert or anything, but isn’t the whole point of FMLA that you don’t get dinged outside of the actual nonpaid work time?
That’s my instinct, too, and we’re going to look into it, but I’m not really optimistic that I’m going to find a lawyer who wants to go to court over two weeks’ worth of pay.
It’s a minor catastrophe for us, obviously — our post-baby-budget had a very small margin of error — but lawyers got to get paid, too.
Yes, unlikely that you will find someone who will do it for two weeks’ pay…but if there are other mothers (or sick people, or people with sick family) who have been penalized for the same thing, and particularly if this here charter school runs more than one school with the same policy on FMLA, you could be looking at a class action typa thing. Not that I specialize in those! BUT what that means is that it’s more likely that you could find a lawyer who would take it on a contingent fee basis. Meaning your outlay is zero. Meaning it’s probably worth your time to look into it.
Also congrats on the new human thing of poop and joy!
If you’re in the greater Philadelphia area, the PennLaw legal aid clinic may be able to help, or at least suggest some useful resources: https://www.law.upenn.edu/publicservice/pro-bono/…
Well you might not need to go to court at all. Only a really small percentage of cases end up in court. A lot of lawyering is just strongly worded letters written in lawyerly language citing to laws. Legal illiteracy and fear of court often get people to stop being assholes.
Yeah, but we’ve got a lot of concerns about retaliation; this is not a good environment in general to complain about management, and this particular school has just gone on a firing-spree to get its budget under control. I don’t know. This is a shit position to be in.
I completely understand and you have sympathies from this internet stranger.
Well, the teacher’s union should have a representative who could be contacted, right? And if the union cares about it, then maybe a lawyer will, too.
It’s a charter school, there is no union. The whole point of charters schools is that there are no unions, so that when things like this happen, teachers have no one to advocate for them.
Oops, sorry, missed that.
So that’s why Republicans like them. I was never clear.
Oh, yeah, honestly it’s been that from day one. Basically, the principle is this: there are a lot more people who can be teachers than there are jobs for teachers. Ordinarily this would drive wages for teachers into the basement, and similarly allow employers to leverage away benefits like vacation, healthcare, and workplace advocacy. But because teachers have unions, the quality of the teaching profession has remained artificially high.
This is, quite simply, an affront to the sacralized workings of the Free Market — whatever else is going on in the world, it is an utter, intolerable blasphemy that a person is getting paid well when the Market shows that they could be paid poorly.
Charter schools, which are exactly as successful as they are unsuccessful (if you don’t count the ones that took a bunch of state money and never opened — another thing that “conservatives” like about Charter Schools is that rich people can use them to get a bunch of free money from the state) in terms of education, but they are very successful in terms of driving down wages for teachers.
Wow. I just remember reading a story recently about the charter school Jeb Bush helped set up while he was a governor, with a black woman as principal in an underserved neighborhood, and it was good PR for a year or two but then he stopped answering her calls and emails when the school needed a new roof, and the landlord who actually owned the land shut it all down. So unsurprising, but depressing all the same.
Yeah, one of the great things about a religious commitment to the Market above all else is that it liberates you to say or do anything in its service. Are you a bad person for setting up a school in an underserved neighborhood as a PR stunt, and then abandoning it the second anyone stopped looking? If you depressed wages for teachers, then you did the right thing.
It’s so disingenuous too, because the school wasn’t even profitable (quite the opposite). Doesn’t that go against the principles of capitalism, that they keep promoting these things? Wait, no, how silly of me to ask what today’s conservatives are actually conserving, besides the shittiest of traditional values aka prejudices.
Also, charter schools can cherry-pick kids and exclude people of color, kids with special needs/ learning disabilities, etc. So there’s that, too…
I worked at a private school for a few years where we were all criminally underpaid. Like most schools, our salary was stretched across the entire 12-month year, even though the school year was just under 10 months.
Halfway through my 3rd year, I succeeded in finding employment elsewhere (I’m pretty sure all of us were always looking). I gave 6 weeks notice and left at the semester break, so my replacement was coming into all new classes, and just generally tried to do things decently. Our contract said that if you quit mid-year your pay would be pro-rated, which I anticipated to mean I would receive an extra check to make up for the fact that even though I worked and taught for exactly half the school year I was only paid for about 1/3 my time.
Hahaha, they actually meant my last paycheck would be hourly, with an hourly rate calculated based on 40/week ALL YEAR (including months that I wasn’t ever contracted to work!) so even smaller than usual! Still angry about this (an attorney friend I spoke with said I probably could fight it but it would be a pain, and having a drawn out fight with a former employer while starting a new job didn’t sound worth it).
I know so many private/charter school teachers with similar stories. Pay is always calculated in whatever manner will most screw over the teachers.
“Pay is always calculated in whatever manner will most screw over the teachers.”
So depressing.
Here is a link about FMLA violations from the US Department of Labor. It includes a contact number and the statement:
“Examples of prohibited conduct include:
Manipulating an employee’s work hours to avoid responsibilities under the FMLA.”
http://www.dol.gov/whd/regs/compliance/whdfs77b.h…
RAGE
Oh my god. I’m so sorry. I can’t get over the awfulness of how new parents are treated by employers in this fucking country. There has to be a sea change at the federal level, because many companies are well-meaning but still end up screwing people over, and there are no standards whatsoever, so when you ask for parental leave you’re basically seen as demanding to be paid for not working, instead of requesting a basic medical accommodation available to parents in basically every single other fucking country on earth. I’m excited about my new job (!!), but when I asked the HR rep about parental leave policies, it was total crickets. At a company that has its shit together in every other way and employs over 50% women. Thank god short-term disability is available from day one.
New job! I didn’t hear that you’d gotten one! I’m so happy to hear that.
So glad you got a new job!!! And I know it’s a consolation prize, but yay for short-term disability anyway.
I keep thinking about this situation this morning, and I feel like T-Bone working at the banana stand in Arrested Development: “Wait a minute, I think you should do that math again.”
There is no way this policy makes any logical sense.
Sadly, I have done the math on it, and it does make logical sense, presuming that “paying employees fairly” — which, as always, is largely optional in America — is not high on your list of priorities.
It essentially works like this: teachers are paid for 185 days worth of work, divided over 26 pay periods.
She took twenty-five days unpaid, or 2.5 pay periods, so that’s 165, or 89% of the allocated work days for the year.
89% of her yearly salary is *less* than her yearly salary minus 2.5 pay periods.
Another way to think of it is, imagine that every week’s pay has an invisible amount attached to it, that’s paid out during summer break. When you take an unpaid week, you lose the money that you would get that week, but you ALSO lose the invisible amount of money that’s connected to it, that’d ordinarily be paid out in July.
There is obviously no practical reason to do this — the costs over the summer are the same for the school, since they’re closed. And they still only have to hire a substitute (who costs less than a full-time teacher anyway, because the sub isn’t getting the full rate) for the five weeks that she missed — even though there’s invisible, summer salary connected to each week, the sub doesn’t get that. This extra two weeks’ worth of pay doesn’t go anywhere, the school just keeps it for no reason that I can tell except that they can.
Yeah, I can see how it works in that very tortured sense, but it’s such an assault on basic fairness. And the part about how they tried to take a week from her that was a holiday for the school! Did that week end up counting against her invisible summer money, too?
Sorry you’re in this situation. I quit my job and now freelance due to poor maternity leave policies at my old place and I feel extremely lucky I had the option to do that. And my employers were nowhere near as shady as hers are being.
Also, I’m STARTING to thing the conservative support of charter schools is just a fancy way of inventing new options for underpaying teachers???
Yes! This is also why orgs like Teach for America are supported by conservatives and market-friendly Democrats. (I did TFA a few years ago, and hoo buddy, if I knew then what I know now!) TFA encouraged us NOT to participate in unions and also they place a lot of corps members in charters. I was at one public school with a really deplorable principal – I mean, she would verbally harass teachers, insult students and their parents – once she made teachers stay at school until 1 am or later and be at school the next morning at 7 am. It was horrible, and teachers ended up going to the union about it. I told my TFA manager and she basically was like, “yeah, I think she’s rude, but think of the children you’re reaching!” Like teachers’ working conditions and students’ experience don’t go hand in hand. It was wild.
On top of that, TFA socializes corps members into the rhetoric of market-based solutions to educational inequalities. Not to mention the yearly (and growing!) flow of mostly young folks who plan on teaching in that district for maybe a few years (some stay, but if they continue teaching move to charters) so they don’t have to worry about offering us pension or livable/family friendly policies.
There’s a lot more I could say, and of course I’m generalizing and there are people I know from TFA who care and lot and are doing great things, etc etc – but these seemingly do-gooder (and definitely/maybe? well-intentioned) programs that rely on the market and superhero individuals to solve structural issues, they make K-12 education both an issue of educational inequality, but a huge labor issue too. Which is ironic given that education is supposed to promote upward mobility, get people to good jobs, etc etc.
Sorry to go off on a tangent that’s marginally related to the original topic of parental leave in charter schools, but solidarity to you! Shit is messed up, and I hope you’re able to work it out.
That is HORRIFYING. I HATE her school! WTF!!!!!
This stinks, and I’m sure that with a noob human around the house, this isn’t what you needed AT ALL. I’m so sorry. 🙁
Congrats on the baby, though :)))
LMM sang the state roll call flawlessly because of course he did.
Have we considered that he might actually be angel sent down to make the world a better place?
singing the states alphabetically is one of my only party tricks
Every time I see his name abbreviated like that, my first thought is Lucy Maude Montgomery, followed by brief confusion.
You are not alone.
I think he is an actual puppy which has taken human form.
i have never considered his being anything else
This is from yesterday, but it is wonderful and the only way it could be better is if Parul Sehgal had narrated it as well. The Profound Emptiness of Resilience
also oh my God Sansa’s FLUFFY BUTT I cannot deeeeeallll
My office has been carrying out mandatory resiliency training. Perhaps I should send this to HR?
Parul has such a great voice.
Dark haired women with husky voices are my kryptonite. I am basically Ron Swanson.
I imagine there will be a whole post of Sansa pics on Sunday or Monday.
I was going to say “replace imagine with demand” until I saw who wrote the comment. The spirit is still there.
Do you mean on Sunday and Monday?
Honestly the anticipation of this will help me get out of bed and to work on Monday morning.
For some reason your enthusiasm for Sansa is making me teary eyed. I bet she can’t wait to come home to you. She’s gonna have the best dog life ever.
Aww, thank you!
Reading that article about Dan Price it was like ‘OK, so there’s more behind this… wow he really seems like an asshole… this is all making sense… OH RIGHT YEAH OF COURSE HE ABUSED HIS WIFE TOO.’ Never trust a CEO.
What does it say about me that my first reaction to hearing about this guy (on Slate, I think) was distrust? And what does it say about the world that that distrust was vindicated twice over?
I always distrust VP level and above; there’s an inherent sleaziness that seems to go along with those levels. Of course I now report to a VP that I trust, so I’m just waiting for him to rip off his mask and show his true form.
I fear Hamilton might be sucking me in. I have listened to Wait For It, Non-Stop and Satisfied an awful lot over the past few days. Send help. (Also, I suspect that if I watched it I would be a Burr supporter. This is like reading A Place of Greater Safety and much preferring Robespierre to Camille all over again.)
I bought the Hamilton soundtrack on Monday and I haven’t listened to anything else since, except for a brief window last night when I did cardio so turned to Carly Rae Jepsen for support.
So this is the most insane comment I’ve ever left but in case you are interested in fully incorporating Hamilton into your cardio life here is the playlist I use for my workouts and highly recommend: Alexander Hamilton; Aaron Burr, Sir; My Shot (x2); Schuyler Sisters; Right Hand Man; Helpless; Satisfied; Guns and Ships; Yorktown; Non-Stop; then back to Wait For It for cool-down/feels.
Also I call this playlist Hamilrun; only god can judge me.
This is correct
As I’ve listened through the cast recording, I haven’t thought I’d be a Burr supporter as much as I’ve thought that I take after Burr so much more. The “I am the one thing in life I can control” line from Wait for It is the one I identify with the most.
That line really speaks to me as well.
I AM INIMITABLE I AM AN ORIGINAL
I’M NOT FALLING BEHIND OR RUNNING LATE
I often hear this line in my head while working and laugh bitterly to myself.
I AM NOT STANDING STILL I AM LYING IN WAIT
…But then my unavailable work crush walks into the room and this one comes into my head.
*sees the Hilary Mantel batsignal light up the Toast sky, logs in for the first time in weeks* I am HERE for the Robespierre of A Place of Greater Safety, and to hell with Camille!
I have friends who really love Camille, so I don’t want to be too critical, but I just didn’t feel like I really got him – I found him hard to empathise with (so dramatic! So childish!). Whereas I found Robespierre much more straightforward. And he just wanted to make his country a better place!
I cannot help you–I’ve listened to the soundtrack so many times I nearly have it all memorized, and when asked what I want for Christmas all I can do is look terribly sad and say, “What I want more than anything in the whole world is to go see Hamilton.” It’s pitiful, really, but I’m pretty sure my kids aren’t going to raid their college funds to buy their mom a ticket to New York . . .
I had to hold myself back from trying to win over some dude I follow on twitter who was (mildly) disparaging it after one listen. It was the most gentle criticism, sort of ‘lol this is just glorified Schoolhouse Rock, isn’t it?’, but part of me wanted to FIGHT HIM so bad.
(plus I honestly think if he gives it one more chance, it will pull him in too, and I don’t want to be the crazy rando who pushes it so hard it turns him away from it forever. that would be the most unpardonable of unpardonable sins)
Omg, some asshole on FB (I know, bad idea to ever engage in those) was railing about how “America has no culture” because “in Italian villages in 1500, everyone knew the same songs/poetry/folk lore and no one does today” (YOU ARE CORRECT, America today does not resemble an Italian village in 1500).
I pointed out that nearly everyone knows things like the Beatles and Robert Frost and Star Wars, he sneered about “mass entertainment produced by a corporation, no one knows history anymore” and I said BUT HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THIS MAJOR HIT BROADWAY MUSICAL ABOUT A FOUNDING FATHER, WRITTEN BY A 35-YEAR-OLD PASSIONATE GENIUS? THE KIDS LOVE THIS THING!
He didn’t stop bah-humbuging, so I started quoting the into song and linking him the entire playlist on YouTube, telling him go listen to that, then come back and tell me America has no culture.
Glad to know there’s a safe space for us “Hamilton” fans. I listen to most of it nearly every day! I love it so much, and it’s been quite awhile since I’ve had that reaction to something. Hell, I only like three musicals! Now if I could only find a “Borgen” support group 🙂
Oh, sure, but when I fling hundreds of poisoned chicken heads onto our roads, I’m “guilty of an indictable offense” and “liable to imprisonment.”
Ditto, but replace “roads” with “a beach,” and “poisoned chicken heads” with “130 spring-loaded needle traps.”
I loved that the Navy was like, “Nah, leave those there, we can use that”.
They drop rabies-inoculated fish bait from airplanes in our county for the raccoons coyotes. Sometimes they actually warn us first. But we are pretty rural and our county name means raccoon, so I feel good about only having to worry about rabid bats and squirrels.
Nah, rodents don’t get rabies. You’re safe from the squirrels anyway.
Nicole I miss you so much on Twitter but I respect your decision and will patiently wait for your return.
The only purpose of Twitter for me is to find, share, and bask in wit, so yes.Yes I miss your tweets, Nicole! And your generosity in “faves” or “likes” whatever they are called now. But I’ll see you on the flip-flop, post-Advent!
I call them exploding sparkle hearts, but that hasn’t exactly taken off.
“You can’t go around stiffing Channing’s friends and then being SELF-RIGHTEOUS about it! He is a loyal dog of a man!”
Now (again) imagining Channing as the dog from Up, just barking at Pettyfer like PAY FRIEND! PAY FRIEND! BAD MAN! Lmao.
Goddess, I love that dog. “I just met you and I LOVE you!” The essence of all dogs, right there.
Chicken heads! Raining down! What could be better?
Keep one eye on the sky,
Be careful you don’t die
Chicken heads are gonna fly!
I am suffering a severe case of puppy prep inadequacy, thanks Nicole. Of course, I had about twenty-four hours between my dad telling me he was bringing Charlie Potato Hashbrowns home (I thought we had MORE TIME) and his arrival.
Being responsible for a small living being is hard, guys. I’m feeling very distressed about it today so I will look at this picture of Charlie Taters some more:
Bonus: Charlie Taters would work very well as a nickname for Channing Tatum.
My peers favor “Charming Tater” as a nickname for Channing, which incidentally would also work well as a nickname for that cute fluffy dog you’re scritching.
“Charming Tater” is what I call him too! He is so charming! And tater-faced!
CHARLIE TATERS
so charming
I just love his tiny black button nose so so so so so so so so so so so much.
I love how he has a patch of black fur right around it so it looks extra bigger and cuter (but yes still tiny because he is ALL ENTIRELY TINY)
I do literally refer to Channing Tatum as “Taters” almost exclusively.
This puppy. You probably need to get some sort of shared custody arrangement.
I’ve always been confused about how so many people know that Nifty Fifty song. Turns out I probably missed it because I was home schooled through elementary school. I kind of feel like learning it now, though!
I learned it in like…I want to say my fifth grade geography unit? Around the same time I had to learn all the state capitals?
I will tell you this for free, ever since moving to Canada it has been a great party trick to recite all fifty states in alphabetical order. People are impressed!
Hah, yes, when I studied abroad, one of my friends was like, “There is no way you can name all 50 states.” HAHA, suckers, I can SING them. (I think I won a pint, which was WORTH IT.)
Yeah, definitely pulled that party trick out a lot when I was abroad in the UK for my undergrad. Naming them is great, but the alphabetical order thing really impresses people!
We learned it in 4th grade chorus, but I already knew it because my grandma is big on singing songs like that on car trips and I had gone on many a roadtrip with her in the past (for a long time I thought that “Wisconsin” was actually “is constant”, like “West Virginia is constant, Wyoming!” because I was little and didn’t actually know the state names, just what people were singing).
I am in the UK and taught myself how to name all 50 states in alphabetical order after watching Drop Dead Gorgeous and seeing Amber Atkins having to do so. I can only do so if given plenty of time and possibly a pen and paper, though.
I learned it in choir. Based on the school I was at, it would have been sometime before 5th grade, northern Minnesota, in the mid-1980s.
I am never getting those brain cells back.
I still remember songs I learned in Kindergarten, but I forget dentist appointments three weeks later. Thanks a lot, brain!
I don’t remember the Nifty Fifty song or memorizing state capitals as a vital part of my elementary school education. I’m starting to wonder if I was in under a state-learning related rock or something.
However, one of my strongest sets of memories re. history in elementary school includes an intense focus on early colonial and 18thc Maryland history, so… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
both my kids learned this in VA. They also learned the Chicken Dance. They will perform either at parties on request.
LMM is four years older than me, I’m guessing your kids are younger.. what happened to me? Or did I block it out?
my kids are in their twenties (one in college, one out)
My son can also recite all of the state capitals.
And sing the periodic table!
re. your son: whoaa. He has a far better memory than mine!
Me neither. We did have a unit on Washington State history though.
5th grade chorus, baby. It’s kinda handy, really – 50 is a lot of states!
I don’t know it because we did the state capitals song from Animaniacs instead! Which, I’m not complaining, but I’m also a fan of listing things alphabetically.
I’ve never heard it before! Public school, PacNW. We … I don’t know if we memorized them. I mean… I know them? I think?
I’m probably too old to have learned that song. But! I was at the perfect age when Grammar Rock was on TV. I can still sing the Preamble to the (US) Constitution. Let’s sing it together. Everyone! “We the People, …”
In order to form a more perfect union! Establish justice, ensure domestic tranquilityyyyyyyy!
I did not learn it, in public school in Missouri, in the 80s.
You know Channing Tatum is able to immediately sense, with 100% accuracy, whether someone’s a good person or not, and reading that Vulture article yesterday proved it for me. If Channing told me he had bad vibes about some guy, I would take it for granted that guy was one day going to pull some “what’s basic human decency when compared to just LIFE, man” bullshit.
Serious question: why was Justin Trudeau, a man I have only seen in pictures, in my dream last night as the kind man who walked me home when I got off the bus at the wrong stop? This is weird. I blame The Toast.
wait seriously. I actually had that same dream? Like, I don’t even ride buses? WHO ARE YOU?!
HOLY SHIT the CEO piece!! Oh man I love a good lawsuit story. The timing of everything… now I want to see if I can dig up the suit documents and find more detail. Amazing.
I had just brought him up in a bar debate as an example of not all CEOs and boards being selfish money-hoarding scrooges, and now I have to eat my words, and they are stale and salty.
My city did vaccine-laden bait for raccoons this year after a few years off. It’s nothing so fun as chicken heads–as far as I can tell they’re just cubes–but they released a truly wonderful article about rabies over time with a FAQ that was one of the best examples of small-city weirdness I’ve ever personally witnessed (Q: What if my child eats the bait? A: This is unlikely due to an offensive fishy odor, but it is not possible to get rabies from the vaccine).
Do you live in Pawnee????!
Next month, in lieu of a rent check, I’m going to write “What is money when life is so much more?” on a piece of paper and give that to my landlord. I’m sure he’ll understand.
“What is money when life is so much more?” sounds like a Jaden Smith tweet.
I’m going with: “I just couldn’t deal with rent this month, so.”
I was just thinking last week about how I wanted to volunteer with LGBT senior citizens, so I’m really interested to read that article! Unfortunately I am nowhere near Chicago, and googling has only gotten me younger groups.
Does anyone in the Boston area do something like this?
Ethos, I believe? Though I’ve heard mixed things about them as an org.
Erm. David Brooks is a Hamilton fan?
Like the Founding Father and the musical?
He’s also a fan of Ta-Nehisi Coates – or at least, he praises Coates’ work before mumbling “but what about white people’s feelings, though”. It’s all part of his “I’m totes moderate and reasonable, look at me, I’m like super respectable!” schtick.
I am both dutifully annoyed at his schtick and kind of amused by it. It’s like when politicians, bless their heart, try too hard and embarrass themselves in an attempt to pander to the youths
Haha and now that I’ve read the article it’s all just him saying “if this currently #trending Founding Father were around today he’d agree with me exactly about issues related to fossil fuels and climate change, never mind that he lived in a time when the cutting edge paradigm of geology was Noah’s Flood Did It”
He’s also a Bruce Springsteen fan.
Safe to say, he’s got one of the most awesome reality distortion fields known to man.
I am hereby admitting that I would probably be just as impossible were I a public figure. I would hope I’d have more humility, but I can’t be certain given that at my birth I was apparently asked to pick a Deadly Sin to have as my very own for life and I went with Pride (keeps you from the others!) and, well, we all know how that works out.
Re: the deleted comment.
*Aggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh*
That would be years of frustration with both identity erasure and my half-Asian white-passing weird privilege that helps me in certain situations (no, White Male Officer, I did not realize I was speeding, thank you for only giving me a warning) and completely shuts me down in others (“she’s really good–but you’re going to need to tell her to dye her hair and lay off the tanning.**)
**A REAL THING THAT WAS SAID ABOUT ME IN A CALLBACK. Luckily, my friend who was directing that particular show just went, “Um. She’s Asian. That’s her skin.”
Sigh. In any case, it’s a frustrating and weird space to occupy, because you’re not enough on either side. So get it, Pippa Soo. Represent!
PREACH
(i’m not asian-american, but i’m latina and definitely have white-passing privilege and also major conflicted feelings about my identity as latina basically pls stop erasing people’s identities because they don’t look like your idea of their race kthxbai)
“because they don’t look like your idea of their race”
YUUUUUP.
Tangent: my job requires me to record race as a data point (I work in psychological research and they like to have census data about stuff like that) and I’m CONSTANTLY putting “unknown race, unknown ethnicity”, because I haven’t, you know, ACTUALLY SPOKEN to that patient/participant yet.
Even if I lay eyes on them I’m wary of assigning race, because I have looked in the mirror often enough searching for my mother and my father both, because I have called way too many doctor’s offices/HR departments saying “hey, I’m not white; I don’t know who entered that in my record, but it’s inaccurate, so please change it.”
Background to this anecdote: Spouse is half white, half Filipino. One day, my in-laws are visiting, and my FIL (the white one in the pair) looks at our daughter and says, “She’s awfully tan, do you take her out in the sun a lot?”
I just looked at him and said, “Your son is brown.” That level of cluelessness coming from within ones own family is just…weird.
Ohhhhh yeeeeahhhh, I can definitely relate. Also half-Filipino, half-white here, and in the summer my white grandfather is always like “well, you are just brown as an Indian!” (cringe cringe cringe on so many levels) . Like, grandpa, your son married a Filipino woman. A darker-skinned Filipino woman, at that. What did you think would happen?
Yeah, my FIL is weirdly xenophobic and racist for a dude who married an immigrant of another race.
Yeah, it simultaneously hurts my heart and my brain when Drunken Uncle makes racist remarks about African Americans. Drunken Uncle and I are white, but Drunken Uncle adopted an African American baby 40 years ago and claims to love that daughter. WTF?
we were playing a guessing game over Thanksgiving and in the midst of the guessing my gf’s mother referred to me as white and then was like “is that ok?” and I was like “well, I’m not… so… no?” it’s one thing for strangers to be making assumptions but this lady KNOWS my mom is Chinese, wtf.
Oh MAN. Not sure if this is the same for your gf’s family, but my (white) boyfriend’s parents, who I genuinely like and who pride themselves on being open-minded (“My own father was very prejudiced, so I tried to be as open-minded as I can”, actual quote from his mom.) Howeverrrrr, white people, you know? We had a WEIRD conversation one night where we had to explain that no, I am not white, and one should not classify me as such.
“But…you’re not black.”
“Uh. No. I am not. But I am not white. I’m half Asian and half white and identify as mixed/biracial/I can’t remember exactly what I said.”
“But…there’s black, and there’s white. And you’re not black, so…”
“That’s…that’s not how that works??”
My brain sort of shut down after that, so I still don’t think we got through to her.
yeah I mean she is pretty progressive/open-minded which is why it’s even more confusing but i guess being mixed race is just that extra factor that is like extra confusing? Maybe it’s generational? the fact that your boyfriend’s mom only thinks of two races existing though is an extra layer of odd…
I mean I’m willing to grant that these people mean well but like dang
Nicole! That proud Asian-American woman quote reminded me, are we going to get to read your post about how great The Comeback Kid is?
You will! The Paris attacks happened the same day as the special, and I decided to kick it down the road a bit. I will be watching it for the fourth time with my mom on Saturday night, so probably will write during that!
Awesome, I’m looking forward to it!
After watching it, I keep picturing him saying, “Hey, Ellen” in his Bill Clinton voice, and then laughing to myself like a crazy person.
“Can I walk ya home?”
I have a giggle fit every time I leave the library because I think of this.
Random: I am interested in the giving stuff up for Advent thing you are doing. I’ve only heard of Lent relinquishment. (I know it’s not everyone’s thing, but *curious*.)
I think most people don’t do it, but I’m doing it this year for the first time ever and so far I like it quite a bit. (I’m Catholic.) The idea is that we’re preparing our hearts for a Big Day, and it’s good to take stock of things that might be holding us back from being ready, or distracting us.
In case you were wondering, I gave up “weekday weed,” which just means I don’t smoke at all Monday-Thursday. (The idea WAS to use that previously-lazy time to go to the gym, but work is preventing that currently.) I’m planning to give up weed entirely for Lent, so this is sort of a practice run. Plus, I do not have an addictive personality but I get stuck in ruts and routines a lot, so once in a while I’ll give up a major vice – one year it was alcohol, one year it was “anything that tastes sweet” – just to shake things up and make sure (like a spot-check) that I’m not ACTUALLY dependent/addicted.
BILL CLINTON NEVER FORGETS A BITCH.
Hi, Toasties! Hi! I am up to my eyeballs getting stuff done before I depart for medical leave on Friday. I miss you all so much.
We miss you too!!
Thank you! I’m hoping to be at a point where I can participate in Friday’s OT.
Off to a meeting, now. UGH.
To wish you luck with everything and especially with your procedure, I asked Chris Pratt to invoke his pelvic sorcery:
We miss you and your GIF sourcery.
All the best for the surgery
I’ve been missing you, as has everyone else, I’m sure. If you don’t mind telling us, which day is your procedure? I want to focus good thoughts in your direction that day. But I will keep you lifted up in my mind every day.
Surgery is scheduled for Monday.
About that Alex Pettyfer/Channing Tatum bust up, I could sympathise with Alex Pettyfer’s experience of being on the set of Magic Mike if it’s true he was like that i.e. just kept himself to himself and came across as thinking he was ‘better than the others’ – hello shy/asshole confusion, something I get the feeling Channing Tatum would be particularly prone to, for all his other good qualities. Even forgetting to pay rent because your cousin suddenly died might be excusable. But then refusing to pay rent out of spite? What’s that about? Also Alex Pettyfer has only ever come across as a massive dick so… team Channing, obvs.
There’s also this: http://thestir.cafemom.com/celebrities/119637/mee…
“Let’s start with the tattoo he claims to have above his crotch, which reads ‘thank you.'” UGH LET’S END THERE TOO.
At least it’s not “You’re Welcome”?
I heard Mallory on WNYC this morning and her voice is mellifluous and she managed to work a Marcus Aurelius (I think, I might be misremembering, Mallory is def smarter than I am) reference into a conversation about sidewalk texting and the lady who hosts the Note to Self podcast had a total fangirl moment about her at the end and it was great.
Excuse me, but how did I not know about Learned League until this very moment? And WHY GOD WHY do I only have ten more minutes before I have to get off of my computer and go to work? What is this cruel fate?
At least I have that picture of Sansa’s fluffy bums to get me through it, and I can imagine that it is I awaiting a new ball of fluff and kisses.
My sister does it! It’s waaaay hard but she always feels so great when her best wrong answers get featured.
I’d really like a garret to read in, please. That would just be excellent.
Garrets for all! Sans starving.
There shall be reading garrets for all at the Toast Commune.
I have wanted a garret to read in since long before I knew what a garret was, thanks Lucy Maud.
Hey, I posted this in the round up yesterday but it was already after 1 pm, and the responses were helpful but what the hell, I’m greedy and want more.
Got a new job, in my actual field, leaving my nightmare boss – all great things and yes yes yes thank god. But now I’m filled with anxiety about how to tell my new employers I’m pregnant, due in April, and will be out 4-6 weeks. 1- when is the best time to do this? They made the offer, and I’m making a counter-offer today. Do I wait until I have a written offer? Do I wait until I’ve been working there a few weeks? What is the least likely scenario for having everyone resent me from the start?
YAY new job!!!
OKAY, turn immediately to AAM for this query. She advises here to wait until you have the offer (in writing, I’d say) with the great reminder that PREGNANCY DISCRIMINATION IS AGAINST THE LAW, so it’s going to look real awkward (in an illegal way) if they rescind after that.
Then I wouldn’t wait too long before sharing that, because hey, it’s still four months away, that’s plenty of time to prove yourself as a good employee, and it would also give them a heads-up so they don’t plan lots of conflicting stuff for you in April/May.
AAM backs me up with “tell them soon, after the offer” in #5 here with a follow-up here.
CONGRATS AGAIN!
I’d wait until you have accepted an offer and have a start date, but I’d bring it too them as soon as possible after that so that; that way they can’t mysteriously rescind the offer, but they won’t feel like you sprang it on them and you’re giving them plenty of time to plan accordingly
Wait until after you have been there at least a week. That way they will have evidence of what a gem you are. Also wait through the end of any “probationary” period.
For other medical leaves, 30 days’ notice is generous. Maternity leave gets announced earlier only for the fact that it’s hard to hide a pregnancy that long.
And think about it: yours is a medical leave. Pregnancy is a medical event, involving the health of at least two humans. When I had medical leave last year, I gave 8 days’ notice. Because my doc said I had to have surgery ASAP.
I hope this helps. And I am sooooo happy to know you are getting away from your asshole abusive director. Toasthugs.
True, but when you know in advance you’re going to be out long-term for any medical leave (as everyone knows is the case with pregnancy), it makes you look more considerate/responsible with your employers if you give as much notice as possible and make plans with them to manage your workload in your absence. That pays off long-term and increases the chances they’ll retain you and won’t punish you, as happens too often in this awful country’s workplaces.
You are correct. Thank you.
idk but good luck with everything!! Sending good vibes your way.
My favorite thing from the rabies article was this, “Winkler once scattered 130 Vac-Traps on a deserted beach only to be told that the U.S. Navy would be using it for a mock-invasion training exercise; he offered to remove them but officials argued that “the hazards would serve as an additional measure of the invaders’ prowess.”)”
Lolololol, that’s so great. “Yes, good, extra level of difficulty, nothing our boys can’t handle.”
“Also, well, they spend a lot of time out in the wilderness and they sometimes run into raccoons and things. Never can be too safe.”
*reads the Learned League question about Canadian politics*
Hey, that’s what I kept reading about in the Toast comment section. What was that party again? I think they’re to the left of the Liberals…Liberal Democratic Party? That’s a thing, right?
*submits answers*
National Democratic Party? Drat.
(I am in a Rookie Rundle and absolutely loving Learned League, an emotion only matched by my routine utter frustration at either not knowing something at all or realizing I should know it but don’t.)
Hello fellow Rookie!
As soon as I read the question I was like ‘oh I know this from both The Toast & all my Canadian friends on Twitter” and was quite pleased with myself.
And while I enjoy LL, I find the defense sooooo hard. Ugh.
My hope is that once we’re out of R Rundles and have a few more questions under our belts that defense will become easier. Right now we have almost nothing to go on.
Re: LM Montgomery, when I started seeing LMM on The Toast and Nicole’s twitter, I assumed it was she. I still, mostly, assume it’s the Anne of Green Gables author, until context bewilders me and then I realize it’s MacArthur Genius/Hamilton LMM.
Ooooh, that Marge Piercy poem! <3 her.
I was close on the Learned League Canadian politics question (sorry!), but I got the math question today, for which I will most certainly get three points, so I felt preeeeetty smug. And then I missed the business question and scuttled back into my ignorance hole.
I’m not sure if the Guardian article mentions this, but the LGBT old folks home used to be a police station where those same old folks used to get taken for being gay in public. So donate! Help it expand! Stick is the fucking man!!!
I had no idea that Learned League existed! I know I’d be bad at it but the David Bowie questions are making me feel like I could do this. Why don’t I have an account
I’m really grateful to everyone who replied to my FML life disaster comment yesterday, especially to everyone who said or thought “idk if I should write this but…” and then did anyway. Mr. Floridagal has been really gracious about the whole thing and has not gloated at all, as I was worried that he would, and for now we’re going to keep it a secret (except from Toasties, of course) and see what happens. I’m only 1 month in so who knows. I have a dr appointment Friday after my job interview (Friday will clearly be the most stressful day ever) so that is also a thing that is happening. Keeping it unless the parasite decided to miscarry itself I guess is the plan. He will have a job as of next week and possibly 2 jobs, so assuming he can get something adding up to full time hours and assuming I get the job for which I interview Friday, we will move out of my parents house (oh yeah, we’re real winners at life right now) in January and keeping this disaster a secret will be a LOT easier once we don’t live with a doctor and a nurse. LUCKILY, my mom said she never (in 5 pregnancies) had morning sickness or anything and just felt wonderful the whole time, so if I’m the same at least there won’t be overly obvious symptoms to hide. I’m thankful for that. I’m also sore and irritable and generally prickly but I’m basically always those last two anyway so here’s hoping nobody will notice anything!
I’ve always known I never wanted children; Mr. Floridagal has significantly more younger siblings than there are days of the week and has always wanted to be a stay at home dad. So when he says that he would be willing to do everything that biology doesn’t prevent him from doing (like you know, gestation) I actually do believe him. I 100% am not cut out or interested in being a parent, but he like like 9000% in the opposite direction, and I think that it would/could even out.
TL;DR I love you all.
Oh wow! Thank you so, so much for the update (I actually clicked the button to follow you on IntenseDebate for updates, as you’ve been on my mind). That eases a lot of my worries (considering the possibilities I had been thinking of). I’m glad Mr. Floridagal is supportive in that sense, and especially that you have a doctor’s appt this week. Please talk to them about all of this, including your feelings on parenting, and I hope to God they are the decent sort in response.
I’m not saying your feelings on parenting will ever change, but there’s still the matter of timing and whether having a child now is going to hamper both of your life goals, including getting out from your parents’ house and such. Maybe if this happens accidentally in future, it’ll grant his dream of being a stay-at-home dad while causing fewer setbacks for you both. I don’t know! I just want you to be really okay with whatever’s decided now.
Best of luck to you!
I don’t have anything to add other than the assurance that you have a community here, and I’m sending you good vibes (as are many others, I’m sure).
I’m not exactly sure what you mean by you think it could “even out”? Do you mean in raising a child? It’s really not a good situation for children to be raised by a parent who doesn’t want to be one, even if the other parent is gung-ho about it.
Does he know that you and he have this huge mismatch on a major life goal? I have to say, I haven’t seen that work out very well for a lot of friends of mine in the same situation. Having kids is not really something where people can compromise, unfortunately, no matter how much they love each other.
I hope that you will explore other options if a miscarriage doesn’t happen– it just makes me sad in this day and age that anyone feels pressured to be a parent when they really don’t want to be one. (And, speaking as an attorney with some experience in family law, that usually doesn’t end up going well from the child’s perspective).
Ummmmmm so Mallory is coming to Australia! http://aaw.sydneyoperahouse.com/
I love my dog, and I would love to bring him to work with me, but uh all of the stuff in that office is COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE. Like, how did their landlord for the office even let them get away with that? So gross.
http://www.blairthornburgh.com/the-only-christmas…
I feel like some toasties would be up for the fight.
Re: The profile on CEO Dan Price. I can't be the only one who is seeing this similarity…
<img src=http://i.imgur.com/jOmcbs6.png">
FAAAAAATHER!!!
I misread “retirement” as “LGBT recruitment center” and it seemed like THE GAY AGENDA was real after all.
Ugh, I'm so sorry. How do people understand seasonal allergies yet don't think other airborne allergies are real?
I am not rubbing a tree all over my face every spring yet I still get a runny nose. Cats are the same deal!
i have never considered his being anything else